#plus I'll feel guilty for not pursuing something medical to help others with my disability
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no feeling quite like wanting to do something but knowing your disability means you can't
#oh and it's july now#as of a couple hours ago#whoooops. . .#hey here's some honest disability life for ya xd#I was gonna say desperately wanting but idk if it's quite that much#it's just a really good opportunity#and the same day as finding out someone I saw in a local awards show was a finalist in a national one xd#can't do that because I'm not rich enough for fancy life long private lessons and the local programs dislike my school#can't do the other opportunity because my body couldn't take it#probably can't get into a good program if I go performing arts and probably can't get a job even if I do because it's a killer market and#previously mentioned disability#plus I'll feel guilty for not pursuing something medical to help others with my disability#sighh#I know some of these are dumb worries that will work out eventually but I am so tired todag#I need to get this stuff done but I also can't handle thinking about it xd yay#vent#anyway#I should sleep#but my 4 hours of naps today aren't vibing with that#and if I do something productive like shower it'll wake people up and then I just have to be ridiculed for my awful life skills again#yay#I promise I'll be okay it's just rough xd
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