Neil Josten’s Birthday Bash
in which the foxes don’t get anything done, ever
*
Nicky added Dan, Kevin, Aaron and three others to “Neil Josten's Birthday Bash Organization Committee”.
Nicky: can't add Andrew because he still owns a FLIP PHONE but here we go
Dan: hell yeah B-)
Nicky: kevin can fill him in with the details anyway
Kevin: why me?
Allison: because you live with him?
Matt: you're practically attached at the hip
Dan: omg ur roomm8s
Matt: ^^^ what allison said
Dan: yeah
Nicky: OR aaron can do it on wednesdays so that there's no chance of neil finding out :D
Aaron: no.
Aaron left the chat.
Nicky: what
Nicky: the
Kevin: just add him back
Nicky: fuck
Kevin: ffs
Kevin: some ppl are in class
Nicky added Aaron to the chat.
Aaron: im muting you all
Allison: just embrace the fact that you've lived in SC for years and say y'all
Nicky: y'all!!!
Nicky: yeah
Matt: dude don't how are u gonna know when to buy your coordinated outfit and rehearse the choreography if you mute us
Dan: Aaron?
Renee: I do think he muted us
Allison: fuck a crybaby
Nicky: hey
Allison: what's he gonna do? Unmute us?
Dan: asdhskfjdl ALLI
Matt: lmfao
Nicky: moving ON
Nicky: the important thing here is my boy neil's birthday
Kevin: and you wonder why Aaron left
Nicky: what?
Kevin: maybe Neil doesn't want to celebrate his bday
Nicky: no that's too sad
Nicky: next person?
Allison: not to be that bitch
Matt: oh?
Allison: but do we even know when his birthday is?
Allison: fuck you matthew donovan boyd
Matt: sorry i love you
Dan: it was easy
Dan: matt ur easy
Matt: ily babe
Dan: <3
Kevin: jan 19th
Renee: March 31st?
Allison: wait
Dan: uhhhh
Matt: Neil Josten deserves 2 bdayz
Kevin: no jan 19th
Renee: oh i thought we were using the one he chose for himself
Matt: Renee add a smiley face
Renee: :)
Renee: ?
Dan: babe ur mind,,,, im crying
Matt: ikr
Allison: stop using mygf so
Kevin: is it me or does it sound really passive aggressive bitchy with a smiley face
Dan: ye that's the point
Renee: I really wasn't trying to be
Matt: oh no we know, sorry
Matt: i feel bad now
Matt: it was just funny
Matt: sorry
Dan: :(
Renee: It's okay, don’t worry
Renee: :)
Dan: renee STOP i feel like ur going 2 murder me in my sleep
Renee: I could, but I won't
Nicky: im shaking and im not even in your dorm
Allison: and we daily thank god for that
Nicky: hey im an excellent roommate
Nicky: i always leave so cap and matt can have sexy times
Dan: yeah but then u call it sexy time
Allison: ive seen the bathroom nicky
Nicky: that's aaron
Matt: l o l
Kevin: aaron's a neat freak
Allison: exposed
Nicky: erik come get me the people here are mean
Renee: So when's Neil's actual birthday?
Kevin: jan 19th
Nicky: who's gonna ask andrew?
Kevin: HE HAS REAL PAPERS NOW
Kevin: JUST GO CHECK AND LET ME BE IN CLASS IN PEACE
Allison: well okay drama queen
Dan: kevin: *is on the chat as much as us*
Dan: also kevin: guys why r u dragging me here
Matt: it's okay kevin we can talk about it during practice
Renee: Don't goad him, Matt
Dan: lmfao babe u thought
Matt: uh oh
Allison: lol
Dan: we need 2 trounce the ravens nxt wk
Nicky: do we have to
Dan: y'all r hauling ass @ practice or god help me
Nicky: id settle for a close victory
Matt: nicky if you don't help us close the goal next friday im telling neil about his surprise
Nicky: noooooo :'(
Allison: ye renee has enough to do without having to face stuff y'all should have blocked
Renee: Andrew is also a goalkeeper
Allison: yeah but he doesn't give a fuck
Renee: That's neither true nor fair
Dan: i want bragging rights over this vctry, end of the question
Matt: are we just gonna ignore the fact that the fbi chose neil's old bday
Matt: even tho they made him a new identity
Allison: wonder how this conversation went
Nicky: are we ignoring the fact that neil is a goddamn CAPRICORN
Allison: "in my left hand is your birthday date. In my right hand is your other birthday" *shuffles behind his back*
Matt: idk about astrology but I checked and he tried to pass for an aries so what does that tell us?
Dan: shut up adfhskdjs
Nicky: im dying
Kevin: [attached picture]
Matt: did u steal neil's ID
Allison: i thought you were in class
Kevin: he sent it to me
Nicky: his phone can take pics??
Dan: RLY crappy 1s but yeah
Nicky: so all those times andrew refused to send me pics of his Eden’s Twilight's outfits so i could coordinate neil's…
Matt: :/
Kevin: he just doesn't like you
Allison: i would have laughed but you two have been fighting the good fight since last year, dressing neil up
Nicky: hey
Renee: Kevin, that was mean
Nicky: but thanx allison, I think so too
Kevin: sorry
Kevin: he's just difficult?
Nicky: yeah :(
Dan: omg u guys rmr when neil was on k ferdinand's show n he looked like a bite-sized snack in that shirt
Kevin: not exactly what I remember from this interview
Dan: u were pretty 2 <3
Kevin: oh my god
Renee: Didn't Neil keep the clothes?
Nicky: i've never seen him wear them again
Nicky: maybe he STUFFED THEM DOWN THE TOILET
Matt: uh okay
Allison: weird emphasis
Kevin: are you still stuck on that
Dan: what
Kevin: it's what happened with the clothes he wore the first time we went to columbia
Nicky: do you know how expensive that plumber was?
Matt: just a thought but maybe that wouldn't have happened if you didn't force him to come with you and drugged him against his will
Allison: don't tell me someone actually peed on them and tried to flush
Nicky: take it up with andrew
Matt: you literally drove the car
Kevin: what happened in columbia stays in columbia
Allison: omg oh my god
Dan: IM SCREAMING
Nicky: what was i supposed to do, get knifed?
Nicky: also ^^^^ yeah.
Nicky: ANYWAY
Nicky: now that Kevin got us proof that the FBI officially made neil a capricorn again,,
Dan: the fbi be like "oh u thought u could escape ur traumatic past? That's nice buddy
Matt: yeah I don't think beating last year's party is gonna be hard
Dan: here's ur bday n trauma back"
Nicky: HAPPY THOUGHTS
Nicky: :(
Nicky: anyway it's the big 21st, so the first thing in order is BOOZE
Kevin: uh nicky
Renee: He's turning 20?
Matt: what???
Kevin: yeah he aged himself up on his fake papers
Matt: oh my god
Dan: lmfao only neil
Nicky: he is baby
Matt: does. Does he know though. Like did he check when they made him the papers.
Kevin: I'm guessing so
Matt: imagine filling a form or smth and you get the day right but not the year
Renee: Wait Kevin, how did you get neil to send you the pic without telling him about the surprise party?
Nicky: DON'T YOU DARE HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT THE NJBB
Allison: njbb?
Dan: neil josten's bday bash, im guessing
Nicky: Neil Josten's
Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH
Nicky: yes
Allison: it doesn’t sound right
Allison: like, something’s missing in the name
Matt: alli we play a sport named after what you get when you take the s from sexy
Dan: 10 bux kevin wishes he didn't have such a stick up his butt so he could reply with exy is sexy
Allison: im not taking that
Kevin: i actually don't know why she named it that
Kevin: she never told the press and she didn't write it anywhere so
Nicky: :(
Allison: oh
Dan: sorry :(
Renee: Maybe coach knows?
Matt: maybe each letter has a meaning
Kevin: how?
Allison: endangering xylophones yearly?
Matt: EXceptional daY
Matt: and then, boom, it's about your name
Renee: Matt, I like that idea!
Dan: allison, no
Kevin: I'll have to ask coach, renee
Kevin: anyway it was always going to be her name, she invented it
Nicky: someone bring neil in so he can say something super serious about how kevin is a legendary striker whose name is already associated with exy and make us choke with emotion
Kevin: nicky….
Nicky: look it's working and he's not even there
Allison: it's the josten effect
Dan: changing your entire life's beliefs one extremely tragic remark at a time
Matt:...
Matt: someone change the subject im sad
Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH
Kevin: oh yeah nicky asked me how i got neil's ID
Allison: and?
Kevin: i told him i signed him up for his own exynews account so he could stop hogging mine for streaming
Kevin: so i needed his name and birthday
Kevin: and then we got into an argument about date formats
Nicky: dd/mm/yy 4ever
Allison: eww
Kevin: so he sent me a pic instead of writing the date
Dan: it's the european propaganda getting to him
Kevin: i guess i really have to get him an account now
Dan: kevin i know you're entirely serious but that's so funny
Nicky: THE REST OF THE WORLD USES IT
Matt: admit it, you can't wait to go back to Germany because you secretly like the metric system
Nicky: yeah dicks sound bigger if you use centimeters
Dan: didn't need 2 know that
Nicky: not that erik needs that :)
Dan: I DON'T WANNA KNOW
Renee: ….
Matt: honestly im glad i don't understand german or i would never live down all the skyping
Dan: renee's like "can't relate" lmfao
Renee: No indeed
Allison: hell yeah that's my girlfriend
Renee: <3
Allison: hey minyard if you're secretly lurking now is the time to leave
Allison: …
Renee: No, he truly muted us earlier
Dan: are we surprised?
Renee: we'll catch him up on what we decide to do later
Renee: Nicky?
Nicky: oh, yeah!!!
Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH
Matt: here we go again
Dan: mamma mia
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