#pls reblog and/or give me love and hype and affection

[rawmeanderson]

bring you back to me ― part I

ft. jeff skinner plot: when your high school sweetheart gets traded to the same city where you now live and work, your best friend just can’t mind her own business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ((i’m gonna make a gif for this tomorrow but it is late and i promised this to you guys tonight)) warnings. swearing; mentions of intoxication, drinking, and anxiety. word count: 5.8k i wrote 2k words today and whew i’m beat, but this is the first part of a longggg new series that i’m v excited for, so i hope you enjoy it!!!!

When your phone buzzes the first time, you ignore it. It vibrates against the heavy wood of the conference room table, your hand twitching slightly with the muscle reflex of reaching for it. Your eyes stay focused on your boss’s boss that was leading the meeting, trying to sit up a little straighter as if that would prove that you were paying attention.

Less than two minutes later, it buzzes twice in rapid succession, and you reach for it quickly as heat rises up your neck. Your boss is giving you a look from across the table, and you offered an apologetic smile before trying to refocus. When your phone buzzes again, it’s resting against your thigh, and keeping your eyes up, you flipped it screen side up before looking down so you could figure out what the hell was going on and why it was so important.

4 minutes ago ― Lydia: i know you’re in that meeting with Barry, but this is way more important 2 minutes ago ― Lydia: LINK: Sabres acquire Jeff Skinner in trade with Hurricanes 2 minutes ago ― Lydia: your boyfriend’s moving to Buffalo!!!! 1 minute ago ― Lydia: are you dead? Do i need call 911?

Your eyes are wide as you stare down at your phone in your lap, and color floods your face when you glance up again to notice your boss watching you from across the table. Clearing your throat quietly, you do everything you can to pay attention to what’s being said and ignore the buzzing in your mind.

Thankfully, the meeting ends fifteen minutes later, and you’re on your feet almost instantly. You try to rush to the door, but your boss catches you first, asking if everything was okay. Laughing it off, you assure her that everything’s fine, that it was just your brother being obnoxious, but you can tell she doesn’t buy it.

Leaving the conference room, you make a beeline back to your cubicle. It was like Lydia heard you coming, popping up from her chair as you passed with a wide grin.

“Did you look at your phone?” she questions, her tone teasing. You’re sure that from your expression, she’d been able to gather that you’d seen her messages, and she smirks at you.

“Hmm?” you hum, trying to feign disinterest and nonchalance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That makes her snort as she watches you settle into your desk chair and turn so your back is to her.

Hearing her footsteps, you know she’s coming over to bother you more as you do everything you can to stop yourself from thinking about the news that had been dropped into your lap. Lydia helps herself to the empty chair that belonged to a vacationing coworker and slides over toward you. You don’t even have to look at her to know that she’s grinning ear to ear.

“So, are you freaking out right now?” she asks, moving close enough that she can nudge you with her elbow.

“Yeah, just because you won’t leave me alone,” you respond, glancing at her. You’re trying your best to look irritated, but with the way she’s grinning at you, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, you can’t help but crack a smile.

“What are you thinking?” she questions, hand coming up to tuck her hair behind her ear as you try to make yourself look busy by replying to a couple of emails you’d forgotten about.

“Uhh, that you’re annoying as shit,” you murmur, eyes darting to the side in time to see her act just so offended by your words.

“You know, I’m just out here trying to reunite you with the love of your life, and this is how you treat me?” Lydia had always had a flair for the dramatics, over exaggerating every chance she got. Her hand was on her chest, like she was truly, deeply upset by your words, but the mischievous grin on her face gave her away.

“Jeff Skinner is not the love of my life,” you tell her with a loud scoff, despite the way heat is rising up the back of your neck. Lydia looks skeptical of your statement and you refocus your attention on your computer screen.

“Okay, fine then, I’m trying to reunite you with your high school boyfriend that you still get all blushy over anytime he’s mentioned, is that better?”

“No, it’s not,” you tell her, the words grumbled as you clench your jaw. The two of you sit in silence for a moment, waiting for one of you to break and say something. You cave first, knowing that she’s watching you for any sign of weakness you might show about Jeff. “Don’t you have some work to do?”

“Nope, none whatsoever,” she says with a nonchalant shrug, leaning back in the borrowed chair.

You respond with silence, clicking between two tabs in your browser, trying to look busy. Your mind was spinning and you wished Lydia would get off your back so you could process all of this on your own first, without such a dramatic audience such as her.

When you’d taken the opportunity to transfer to Buffalo from New York City a couple years ago, mostly so you could be closer to family, Lydia was the first friend you’d made. You worked in an office of mostly older people, so to find someone your age that you immediately got along with was a blessing. She was from Buffalo, an avid Sabres fan, and knew all of the best bars and taco shops around the city. Lydia had a tendency to drive you absolutely mad, but if nothing else, kept life interesting. In the early stages of your friendship, wine drunk on her couch, you’d let slip that your first kiss had been with a future NHL player, to which then Lydia demanded the whole story.

You’d practically grown up with Jeff. He’d played with your brother and your parents were friends, ensuring that you were both present through each other’s awkward phases. You were a year younger than Jeff and your brother, but that didn’t stop you from running around with them every chance you got. Jeff was 17, you were 16, when you kissed for the first time at a holiday party.

It’d been awkward, quick, but in the months that followed the two of you got better at it. When you started dating, it came as no real surprise to either of your families. It was short lived though. You and Jeff broke up on his 18th birthday, a couple of weeks before the draft, both of you knowing that the priorities in each of your lives were about to change. You had university to work toward, while his life was about to change completely, it was just the smart thing to do.

To say that you’d avoided Jeff as much as you could after that was putting it simply. The following Christmas, with you halfway through your last year of school, you made every excuse you could not to be at the usual get together your family had with his. It was easier that way. Your feelings for Jeff had felt so real at the time, you were young and crazy about him, and you didn’t know how much of that would linger as time went on. You’d been all but certain that he’d surely found plenty of girls in Raleigh that would’ve made him forget all about you.

The next couple of years continued the same way. You moved to New York for university and life went on. The only time you’d seen Jeff in all of the years that passed was over Christmas break of your sophomore year of college. A friend from high school was having a party, and you’d been roped into going, and the idea of Jeff being there hadn’t even crossed your mind.

When you saw him, you’d almost dropped your drink. You were already tipsy, and now seeing him, older and bigger was enough to almost have you running out the back door of the house. Instead though, you had another drink. You didn’t let yourself go overboard, just enough to have a buzz and quiet the anxious screaming in the back of your mind.

At one point, you made eye contact with him from across the room, and you smiled, feeling a shiver run down your body as you tried to figure out what the hell to say to him. He was a little drunk too, that much was obvious from the rosiness in his cheeks, the easy smile on his face. When he started to make his way toward you, you panicked a little, but talking to him was as easy as ever. Jeff hugged you and the reality that you’d missed him like crazy hit you hard.

The two of you kind of settled to your own little world for the rest of the night. You found a spot to sit and catch up, and once he’d sobered up, Jeff asked if you were hungry, admitting that he’d been craving a burger from the 24 hour diner in town. You guys had been there together so many times that his words made you smile and nod eagerly. Over burgers and milkshakes, you talked, joked, and remembered why you’d been so crazy about him.

He took you home, and parked in front of your parents’ house, it was so reminiscent of when you’d been together in high school that it actually made your heart hurt. Neither of you were in much of a rush to leave the other, so your conversation continued a while longer. It was nearly 2 AM when you couldn’t stop yawning, and when you leaned over to hug him and he kissed your cheek muscle memory stirred and you turned your head enough to kiss him.

You both seemed surprised but neither of you pulled away, just relaxing into each other easily. He was a better kisser then than he had been at 17, which came as no surprise, and you hoped he’d have the same thing to say about you. His fingers pushed your hair out of your face gently and you knew then that it’d be so easy to get lost in him. You made out in the front seat of his car for a few moments before you pulled back, yawning again and saying that if you didn’t head inside, you’d fall asleep on him.

Saying goodbye was a little rushed on your part, not wanting to linger and make it harder on yourself. He asked if he could call you the next day, and you’d nodded, not bothering to tell him that you’d gotten a new number at the start of college. A clean break was easier, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

That was all ancient history now though, but that certainly didn’t stop Lydia from teasing you about Jeff every chance she got. She’d all but begged you to go to the Canes/Sabres game last year, and instead, you’d offered to work overtime. Now though, Jeff would be living and playing in the same city as you and that alone had your heart racing like mad.

“So, are you going to call him?” Lydia asks, dragging you out of your own head. You’d been staring blankly at your computer scene, and you glance at her a second later. “Wait, does he even know you live in Buffalo?” Your response is to shrug, exhaling a heavy sigh as you push your hair out of your face.

“Lydia, can we just give it a rest for today? You know I love you, but this will be a lot easier for me to process without you being up my ass,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose as you try to ward off the headache you can feel building behind your eyes.

The cubicle is quiet for a moment before Lydia clears her throat, and from the corner of your eye you see her straighten up. “Yeah, no problem,” she tells you, and when you meet her eye she smiles. As dramatic as she could be, you’re grateful that she knows when to quit. “Let me know if you need anything, okay? Like maybe one of those double margaritas from Los Gauchos? I don’t have dinner plans.”

The suggestion makes you snort softly and you nod a second later. “Uh, yeah, that sounds really good, actually,” you admit, your mind already drifting to their al pastor tacos. Lydia shoots you a thumbs up and a wink before turning to head back to her own work area.

The margarita certainly helped, so did the tacos. Making it even better, Lydia paid for your food. The drinking was a godsend after you’d spent the rest of the work day thinking about the news that had been dropped into your laugh. Even at dinner, it was still on your mind despite Lydia’s best efforts of distracting you. She asked if you wanted to come over to watch a movie, an offer you politely declined as she gave you an apologetic smile, knowing you were still thinking about the news that had broken earlier.

When you got home, you put on an episode of The Good Place in an effort to cheer yourself up, but in the end, it barely held your focus. You wish you knew why you were feeling like this, so you could stop it, but instead, the anxiety festered in your chest as you stared at the ceiling of your bedroom a few hours later.

You’d dated plenty since Jeff, you’d even lived with someone for nearly a year, but none of those relationships had felt as natural. Trying your best to rationalize those feelings, you’d told yourself that he’d been your first love, that you were likely embellishing the way you’d felt about him. It’d been so long ago now that you wondered if you’d still feel that way. After you’d last seen him, you’d barely been able to get out of bed the next day, both missing him and feeling guilty for the fact that he probably tried to reach you, only to find that you’d changed your number.

Giving up on trying to put this all out of your mind, you turn over onto your side, and try to think of what you’d even begin to say to Jeff if you somehow ran into him in the city. What were you even supposed to say to your high school sweetheart that you’d practically ghosted several years ago? Should you play dumb if it happened, say that you had no idea he’d been traded to Buffalo?

With a groan, you press your face into your pillow in an effort to clear your head again, desperately trying to silence the voice in your head reminding you that you’d always believed that things happen for a reason.

Eight weeks passed, and Lydia didn’t even once mention Jeff. The idea of being in the same city as him seemed to have settled a bit. Even so, there’d been a couple of times where you’d been in public and did a double take if you saw someone that looked anything like him at a quick glance. Your heart leapt and your stomach flipped over each time. Other than that, you tried not to think about him.

It was a Friday night when you pulled into Lydia’s parking lot, stepping out of your car after grabbing your bag and the 6-pack of hard cider you’d picked up on the way over. You were already in leggings and an old shirt from college, a cozy cardigan over your shoulders. Lydia had suggested you get together that night for dinner and movies, and you didn’t doubt you’d end up crashing on her couch rather than driving home. After taking the stairs up to the second floor of the building, you knock lightly on her door before letting yourself in.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Lydia says with a grin, stepping out of the kitchen. Dinner smells amazing already and your stomach growls, remembering that she was making stir fry.

“Hi! Holy shit, it smells so good in here,” you tell her with a laugh as you kick your shoes off.

Your words make her snort and she grins. “It’ll be done in about fifteen minutes or so, you can go hang out in the living room if you want!”  

Nodding, you head toward the living room to make yourself at home. You immediately drop into the corner of the sofa, leaning back as you fish in your bag for your phone. The TV is on, but you haven’t even glanced at it. Lydia’s cat comes sauntering down the hall before jumping up on the arm of the sofa to greet you. It’s not until your scratching below her chin that you look at the TV, immediately tensing when you realize that it’s coverage of the pre-season Sabres game.

Before you can even start looking around for the remote, Jeff is on the screen and butterflies flutter throughout your body. Biting your bottom lip, you find yourself staring at him as he’s interviewed ahead of the game. He looks good, happy. The Sabres colors suit him far better in your opinion and hearing his voice again made goosebumps rise along your skin. You’re not even paying attention to what he’s saying, instead getting lost in the sound of his voice. When you got a quick glimpse of his dimple as he grinned, you felt your heart skip a beat.

“Y/N!” The sound of Lydia’s voice makes you jump, head turning quickly to look at the her, standing just outside the kitchen.

“Sorry, what?” you question with a nervous laugh. Your cheeks are burning, and you watch as her eyes drift to the TV and she realizes why you’d been so entranced.

You know from her expression that she’s trying to hide a smirk, and she clears her throat before speaking. “I didn’t realize I’d left that on,” she says, and based on her tone, you’re not sure that you fully believe her statement. “I’ve been saying your name for like, a whole minute, but uh, I was asking if you wanted me to put your drinks in the fridge.”

“Oh...yeah, thanks,” you respond, flashing a quick smile. Just to break eye contact with you, you look away to reach down, picking the 6-pack up to hand it to her as she cross the room to take it from you. Your cheeks are surely flushed, and by then, Lydia’s not even trying to hide her grin. She retreats without a word though, and as soon as her back is to you, your attention returns to the TV.

A pang of disappointment strikes through you when you see the coverage has gone back to the commentators. It’s probably for the better you decide, leaning back into the couch and encouraging the cat to come closer to you.

Your heart settles after a moment and thankfully it only took a few more minutes before dinner was done. When Lydia calls your name from the kitchen, you get to your feet and follow the sound of her voice. She asks you to set the table and and she’s still got that knowing grin on her face. Barely even looking at her, you grab the plates and silverware she’d set out and hurry back out to put them on the table.

The game had started, and your attention snaps to the television when you hear Jeff’s name. You hadn’t watched a game in ages, and right now was not the time you needed to get transfixed on it. Taking a seat, you sit so your back is towards the TV, otherwise you knew you’d never be able to focus on conversation over dinner if you could see the game. When Lydia comes out of the kitchen, holding the wok and placing it down onto the trivet you’d put out on the table.

Your mouth starts watering at the smell of dinner, and as you sit up a bit straighter to get a look at the food, Lydia turns off the TV. Silence fills the room for a moment and your body relaxes. As Lydia sits down, her attention is on her phone as she starts to airplay the music to a speaker, and you’re reaching for the tongs resting in the pan.

To your surprise, dinner passes without a single mention of Jeff. The food was to die for, Lydia’s cooking always was. At one point though, you’d damn near dropped your fork in the middle of eating. I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) from Hercules started, and you felt rather attacked. You couldn’t prove that she’d masterminded it since she’d been known to pepper Disney songs into playlists before, but you were pretty sure she’d queued it up just to fuck with you.

Weeks later, you were starting to wonder if she’d forgotten all about Jeff. There’d been no mention of him, but he was seldom far from your mind.

You’re trying to get a bit of work done, sending out some emails when a rolled up ball of paper hits you on the shoulder before bouncing onto your desk. Turning around, it’s no surprise to see Lydia there, grinning widely as she leans against the cubicle divider.

“Did you see the email I sent you?” she asks, tone rather hopeful. You raise an eyebrow quickly and nod.

“What, for that pub downtown? Yeah, why?”

She shrugs and gives you a smile that says she’s got something up her sleeve. “They’ve got a breakfast burger that looks really good,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at you. The words alone make you hum, as she knows that the best way to your heart is a good breakfast burger. “I was gonna see if you wanted to head there for dinner tonight?”

You take a moment before responding, glancing at the time and trying to remember if you had plans. After a moment, you nod with a grin. “Uh, yeah, that sounds good!” you say and she shoots you a thumbs up. “Did you want to head there straight after work? I can drive.”

Lydia agrees to that plan, and you then spend a decent portion of the slow afternoon going over the restaurant’s menu, taking quite a bit of interest in their drinks. You’d been planning on spending the evening at home, doing nothing, but dinner and drinks and being out with Lydia sounded far better.

Hours later when work was done and Lydia was guiding you through downtown as you drove, you stifle a yawn as you turn onto a one-way street. You hadn’t really been down to this area much, and you’re looking around rather curiously.

“There’s a garage up here on the right, I already paid for parking,” Lydia says, eyes on her phone as she pulls up the pass.

When you pull into the garage, there’s a sign for Sabres parking and you glance at Lydia quickly. “Are we close to the arena?” you ask as you roll your window down. She shrugs hands you her phone so you can scan the parking pass.

“Yeah, I just know this garage is pretty cheap, so I just stick to what I know,” she explains as you head into the garage, looking for a spot. You don’t question it and thankfully, you find a spot with ease.

When you’re climbing out of the car, a number of people walk by in Sabres shirts, and you glance at Lydia. She’s out of the car and digging in her bag, and you’re about to ask if she’s ready to go when she tosses a bundle of fabric at you.

“Here, put this on,” she says as you catch it. You hold it up and realize quickly that it’s a Sabres shirt, your eyes moving to her. She’s grinning like a cat that ate a canary and she’s holding up a shirt for herself as well.

“What’s going on here?” you ask, brow creased. You’re still holding onto the shirt, watching your friend as she shrugs.

“We’re going to the game.” Lydia says it so simply that you damn near guffaw at her. “Oh, come on! You have been tiptoeing around this for so long now that it’s making my heart hurt, okay?”

Your jaw is tense and you look at her with as much distaste as you can muster. “You tricked me with that breakfast burger...you knew I’d take the bait, hook, line, and sinker,” you grumble, arms crossed over your chest with the shirt still in hand. Your words make Lydia grin and she shrugs slightly, not even bothering to feign innocence.

“It’s gonna be fun, okay? I’ll buy you some drinks, we’ll watch the game, then I’ll buy you a breakfast burger, how about that?” she responds, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. She’s reeling you back in, paying her penance as she walks toward you.

“Fine,” you give in, crossing your arms over your chest. You irritation was starting to wane, but you weren’t quite ready to stop milking it just yet. With the shirt still in hand, you exhale a sigh as Lydia nudges you gently with her elbow.

“C’mon, we want a good spot for warm ups,” she says, looping her elbow through yours to start leading you toward the stairs to leave the garage.

“Warm ups?!” you question before exhaling another sigh. “You’re literally evil, you know that, right?” The sound of her laugh echoes in the stairway, making your snort along with her.

Anxiety bubbled in your stomach from there. Doors are already open when the two of you approach the arena, and you fell quiet. You let Lydia more or less guide you, considering you were in the middle of an out of body experience, and she promised to grab drinks for both of you as she pushed you toward the bathroom to change into the Sabres shirt.

When you reemerge, she’s waiting there for you, two cans of beer in hand as well as a cup of what you assume is a rum and Coke. “It’s a double,” she tells you with a wink as she hands the drinks off to you so she can use the restroom and change into her shirt as well.

Waiting for her, you lean back against the wall outside the bathroom and exhale a sigh. The last several months had just been plain weird. You’d grown up with hockey. Your dad’s family is from Boston, so you’d been raised as a Bruins fan, going to games when you’d visit relatives. Your brother had played with Jeff, and obviously, growing up near Toronto, you’d been surrounded by the Leafs.

Since college though, you hadn’t had much interest in the sport. You’d realized one night several weeks ago, as you’d stared at your bedroom ceiling, that you’d probably distanced yourself from the sport in order to put Jeff out of your mind. Admittedly though, you watched a Sabres game last week, curled up on your couch with some chocolate ice cream. You’d missed hockey, but damn, it was still weird as hell hearing Jeff’s name.

As you stood there, sipping greedily at your rum and Coke, your eyes survey the people moving around the arena ahead of warm ups. It’s still early, so not too crowded, and you see quite a few people in Skinner shirts or jerseys. The sight makes you smile, glad to know that he’s appreciated on his new team. You shift your weight from one foot to the other and try to slow the way your mind is racing.

Thankfully, Lydia comes out of the bathroom just as you’re about to launch into another existential crisis about the fact that you’re in the same building as Jeff Skinner for the first time in over half a decade. When she looks at you, the fact that your mind is reeling must be obvious because she looks a little amused, reaching for one of the beers you’re holding.

“Where are we sitting?” you ask, chewing on your bottom lip as she shoves her work blouse into her bag.

“Uhh, one of the back rows of the lower bowl. They’re good seats,” she says, taking a drink of beer as the two of you start walking. “For warm ups though, we’re going down to the ice.”

“Lydia, seriously?” you say, to which her response is to giggle softly with a shrug. She’s half a step ahead of you, otherwise your hand would’ve come out to smack her arm gently.

Time was passing so slowly. It felt like it’d been at least twenty minutes since Lydia coaxed you up to a seat at the glass, but really, it’s only five. Nervousness has set in, and now your mind is racing, wishing you’d know about the game, so you could’ve at least made yourself look better. Your hair was tied up in a bun and you hadn’t really put much effort into your appearance that day, at least not the amount of effort you’d put into seeing your ex for the first time in five years.

Lydia settles into a seat and looks at you as she sips at her beer. “Y/N, relax,” she says, voice low. You’re still standing, and you glance over your shoulder to look at her.

“Well, considering I’ve only had about fifteen minutes to process all of this and prepare to see him, I don’t think relaxing is an option right now,” you mutter before finishing off the rest of your rum and Coke. You turn to face her then, leaning back against the glass as you meet her eye.

“I mean, that’s fair,” she says with a shrug before cracking a grin. She leans forward in her seat then, glancing up at the jumbotron before her attention returns to you. “If you want to just go up to our seats, we can.” There’s a timidness then in her voice, as if she was worried that she’d pushed you too far.

You consider it for a moment, looking at the ice left in your cup as you think. When you meet her eye, you shake your head. “No, I wanna stay here,” you say as confidently as you can. Lydia looks rather impressed as she nods, and you grin then. Truthfully, you think the adrenaline of the situation is hitting you, like your fight or flight instincts were kicking in. You’re surprised that you’re choosing the fight side of that, but you were committed to it now.

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Lydia says, grinning at you then and you give an affirmative nod. You sit your empty cup down in a cup holder then turn back to the ice. Time is ticking down to warm ups, and you can feel that first drink starting to hit you.

Somehow, it feels like the last couple of minutes go by even more slowly than before, so you sip at your beer and scroll through Instagram idly. When the lights music starts and the players start coming out onto the ice, your heart leaps into your throat. You’re faintly aware of the fact that Lydia stands up, and as you’re about to take a drink of beer, you spot Jeff.

You pause with the beer can halfway to your mouth, and you know Lydia’s eyes are on you as you inhale a slow breath. His back is to you, but your stomach jumps, then flops back down just at the sight of him. Maybe drinking that double rum and coke hadn’t been a good idea. Before you’re able to mentally adjust to your surrounding, he’s glances up and you feel like you’re about to drop dead on the spot.

Jeff does an honest to god double-take, locking eyes with you the second time. A wide smile spreads across his face and he skates closer, like he’s trying to figure out if it’s really you. That smile of his was as contagious as always, even now when you’re barely standing up straight from nervousness. Grinning back at him, you finally take that drink of beer, and Lydia laughs beside you. Seeing him is just so surreal, and god, that blue really suits him. He looks so��.grown up, but you’re sure you did as well.

He glances around quickly before pointing toward the bench then nodding in that direction. Clutching your beer and hoping your legs would work when you try to walk, you give him a quick thumbs up. You look at Lydia quickly to find that she’s watching on with a rather proud grin that you just want to smack off of her face, but there was time for that later.

Leaving your beer in Lydia’s care, you take off toward the tunnel, going up a row or two to meet him. Your heart is pounding as you chew on your bottom lip as soon as your eyes are on him again. It was good to see him, there was no denying that.

“Hi,” you say when you’re lose enough, not sure what else to even say then.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, grinning and looking at you the same way he had since you were teenagers.

“I, uh...I took a job in Buffalo a couple years ago,” you tell him, trying to resist the urge to fidget. You’d forgotten the way he looked at you, you weren’t used to it anymore. He nods as you speak, his smile somehow getting even wider.

He’s about to say something when someone on the ice shouts his name, and he swears quietly under his breath. “Did you have to leave right after the game?” he asks, pausing only to wait for your response. When you shake your head, he continues. “Can I give you my number? Just text me, and I’ll tell you how to get back to the locker room.”

Before he even finishes speaking, you’re fishing your phone out of your pocket as you nod. When you’re ready, he rattles off his number, and you save it into your contacts, still struggling to believe that this is all actually happening.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” he says, meeting your eye with another smile that makes your stomach flutter.

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon,” you repeat with a quick nod. You’re smiling back at him, because how could not? He nods right back, practically beaming before heading back to the ice.

[mazeinthemiroh]

san sfw alphabet

genre: fluff

word count: 2.7k

warnings: none

requested?: yes

song rec: astroboy. by suggi

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

ha, this makes me laugh

because we all know that sannie is the fluffiest fluff-ball to ever fluff

he is SO affectionate like that's not even a question

i'm talking physically, verbally, everything. he is the man when it comes to affection

he constantly showers you with praise and loving words, and is always cuddling or holding you in some way when you are together. he likes to give affection both through the form of words as well as touch

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

the ultimate hype man™ 

he's your no.1 supporter. if you have an idea or a goal or a dream, he encourages you to go for it and don't look back with any regrets

he likes to do impulsive stuff with his bestie. like you guys are walking and see an arcade or something and then spend the next hour and a half there, totally changing your plans for the day

he also gets random rushes of energy with you like expect a very hyper san!!

you must know, as his best friend, that there is a loyalty oath. a pledge of allegiance for each other, if you will. he takes any close connections he has very seriously so if you break his trust its very hard to build it back up

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

yes.

just yes.

that's all i really have to say

yes to cuddling. a green tick to nuzzling. a big thumbs up to the snuggles

he is, to put it plainly, obsessed with cuddling you. like if he didn't have to restrain himself he will be on you, 24/7, all the time. he just loves you he loves being soft and fluffy because, lets face it, he is a cat

how does he like to cuddle? how doesn't he like to cuddle???

seriously though if he had to pick a favourite cuddle position, after much extensive consideration (yes this was very important to him to decide) he manages to narrow his choices down to two: 1) the 'sweethearts cradle,' with you putting your head on his chest while he holds you close to his chest. and 2) the spoon. obviously. i know its simple but he just loves wrapping his arms around you and snuggling into your neck from behind you i am very soft rn

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think san would want to settle down in good time

once h has his heart set on someone he really just wants to go all the way with them and experience everything with them, which makes the relationship seem rushed to outsiders, but to you guys, it feels like a perfectly right pace. you guys are just so into each other that's why. when the spark happens, it happens 🤷‍♀️

in terms of household chores, he's more than happy to help where help is needed. you might have to teach him a couple of recipes here and there but once he gets the hang of things he will for sure be cooking for you a lot. he likes treating you to his own homemade dinner sometimes, when he's feeling confident in the kitchen though lol

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

it would cause him so much pain tbh

he would end up doing it as quickly as possible, like taking off a band-aid/plaster. quick and swift

which wasn't his plan to begin with. he would've wanted to ease you into the breaking up but he just couldn't stand the tension

he would probably be very apologetic if he broke it off (depending on the situation tbh)

f = fiance (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

when in a relationship san's mind become automatically romantic

he is caught between a person who just wants to live in the present vs a person who is planning out their whole future with their s/o. like... he's just both. it depends on the day??

he loves commitment because he is, by nature, a very loyal person. but while the whole relationship has been quick and rushed (feeling natural that way) he probably wouldn't want to rush into marriage quite yet. he has to contain himself; he knows deep down all in good time will these things come about

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

gentle for the most part

there are times when he may come off too strongly in terms of physical affection, which can overwhelm a particularly shy or timid s/o. he likes to have someone he can pretty much throw himself at and cuddle all the time and depending on the type of person you are, that can be a bit intense

emotionally, san can sometimes have a rough edge to him. not intentionally. maybe he's had a bad day at work, or he couldn't get a move right in dance practice, sometimes you just need to leave him be so he calms down and cools off. depending on how you handle these things, he might be a bit blunt or snap at you if you keep asking him questions and possibly getting on his nerves. he doesn't mean any harm by it at all, it's just if something is upsetting him or weighing on his mind, there's not much either of you can do

overall it will depend on his mood. like anyone, if he's in a bad mood he will usually act differently. but san rarely has these bad moves so its safe to say you will see a much gentler side of san more frequently than anything else

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

adores hugs

tbh he especially lives back hugs like he's just that type of guy. loves wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back to his chest, leaving soft butterfly kisses on your neck

and he melts when you give him back hugs. it just makes him feel soft and cute

he's just a lover of hugs in general. he really appreciates it when you pull him in for one, it makes him feel warm and safe

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

fairly fast

when san loves someone, he loves them intensely and without any doubt. so don't be surprised if he confesses his love to you in the first couple of weeks of you dating (depending on the frequency and time you spend with each other)

it's like he can't help himself from falling so quickly. and he is convinced that he must, he simply must tell you his feelings

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i'd say on a scale of 1 - 10 on how jealous someone can be, 10 being the most jealous, i'd say san is a solid 8.5, maybe even higher?

he's mentioned that he has low self-esteem (which btw is beyond me because he's literally the best man ever, just saying) and with this mindset he has comes with him comparing himself to others

so if you are talking to someone he deems as better looking than himself, he will be jealous more often than not. he starts to have doubts like 'maybe y/n deserves someone better' etc

you can tell he is jealous when he becomes quiet and lost in thought, a slight pout laying on his lips as he holds a low gaze

so please reassure him that he is perfect and amazing and there is a reason why you chose him

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

sweet, soft, seductive

that's our san 🥳

depends on his mood. he likes soft little kisses when he's cuddling you or when you've done something endearing. he usually likes kissing you on the neck <3

and he likes getting kisses there too. or on his collarbone. or cheek. or forehead. he don't mind

but the lip kisses 💋 mwah, so passionate

he doesn't give you a chance to breathe it's just so steamy and full of love all at once his kisses are amazing, yes

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

super cute

he puts on an adorable baby voice for them and does whatever they want him to do because he just wants them to like him :(

gives them candy and stuff even when their parents say they aren't allowed

he just loves them, and the kids love him too!! its a win win situation

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

he's sleepy and just wants more cuddles

it is absolutely necessary that you wake up with him. like. physically. he likes to wake up and see you still there

like if you're not next time him, first of all, how did you wiggle out of his death grip??

second of all, where are you?? how dare you leave him???

he might let you off if you're downstairs making him breakfast but ONLY THIS ONCE

you'll have to make it up to him with more cuddles and kisses yk

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

likes to talk to you in a low, hushed voice

it will get all croaky towards the end of the night because you guys have been talking for hours

idk he loves spending nights with you because it feels like the only time where he can fully relax with you without any distractions

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he won't reveal everything all at once. but being open is a very frequent thing for him

lemme explain

each time you guys go out and spend time together, obviously you guys reveal a lot more about yourselves to each other

the more quality time you have, the more san will open up to you more. piece by piece, moment by moment, you will start learning more about him

he allows himself to be more and more vulnerable when he knows you're taking a sincere interest in him

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

i think it takes a lot for san to be actually angry, especially with his dearest s/o

he can be easily irritated but those are two completely different things

it depends how far he's been pushed. if his limit and boundaries have been broken then its really hard for him to turn back with a cool head

but with his s/o it's unlikely he will become angry. unless someone is mistreating his s/o in any way they better run fast

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he will remember things about you the more you remember things about him

does that make sense? idk lemme explain-

once he realises that 'oh, this person is taking an interest in me and what i have to say. and on top of that, they remember what i told them before about this and that. they must really be into me' and then he will reciprocate the same energy

it's important for him when the interest is mutual and goes both ways

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

your first kiss together <3

he views it as such a precious memory. he hadn't planned on kissing you that day, it was just something that... happened

you were just at a coffee shop together, and you were laughing over a story he was telling about an incident that happened at dance practice that day. the sparkle in your laugh, the amusement in your gaze, the beauty in your energy. its like he had a sudden epiphany that he was very much in love with you. it was a feeling that overwhelmed his senses, so much so that he couldn't control himself from leaning in to collide his lips with you

yeah, he never regretted that moment, that's for sure

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he's protective alright. he is constantly supporting you and he will literally batter anyone who hurts you in any way

if you tell him that someone at your work/college has been mistreating you or upsetting you in any way, you can see how instantly his demeanour changes, gaze turning dark and angry as he clenches his jaw

no one hurts his baby

as for the receiving protection, he would like if you also had his back to defend him too. he likes that in your relationship, you both are there for each other, always

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

i can't lie, sannie-boy is romantic fr

he buys you gifts every now and then, and they are always something personal and thoughtful that touch your heart

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

sannie can get opinionated

he can be a bit of a hot-head at times

so in a heated argument, it might be hard for him to see anyone else's point of you. he has his own morals, standards and priorities and sometimes he's passion clouds his judgement, and he may find difficulty to accept someone else's argument

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he knows he's gorgeous and hot as hell

but obviously there are times where he doesn't think so. depending on the day and what mindset he has, he might notice things he doesn't like about his appearance his face is so beautiful tho i don't understand him

his self-esteem fluctuates so overall it just depends on the day

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

oh yeah

like i said before, san is fiercely loyal. he gives his all into a relationship. if he loves someone so much he will be so attached to them

the feeling of emptiness may feel him when he isnt with you for a long period of time. so he will always check in and make sure you're ok and stuff

he never wants to get used to being without you

x = xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

he loves playing with your hair

just fiddling with it in between his fingers and running his hands through it whilst looking at you with much admiration...

and boy, does he really wanna style it for you

if you let him it will be such a pleasure for him to style it in any way he wants if you end up looking like an idiot thats on him

in all seriousness though, i think he would be really good at styling your hair, and very gentle too. if you wince and start making uncomfortable noises he would be concerned and try to be gentler

he loves learning new styles!! he feels a sense of accomplishment when he does it right and makes you look so good hehe <333

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

he doesn't like people who are indifferent and heartless. someone who is lacking compassion and kindness comes across as really unattractive to san

because if he favours one thing in a companion, be it platonic or romantic, it is being kindhearted. thats the most important thing for him

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

san is known for loving to sleep with a pillow

or in general just something to hug close to his chest and cling onto while he sleeps

its a comfort thing. it just feels natural and comfortable for him yk?

so having an s/o would be super helpful in this aspect because not only will his arms never be empty, but also he will be holding close the love of his life all night long

[loneworldgazer]

Animator!Y/N

karasuno x gen!reader, hinata x reader

a/n: people who do animation, just take my whole heart pls

this felt like a proper fic but sorry if it's short,,

(please reblog darlings)

yachi first started being curious about you since you were one of the teacher's pet, always lingering around the art teacher asking questions with a tablet in hand

she was nosy, she had to admit

she wanted to sneak a glance whenever you drew on your tablet and you would glance at her if she wants to take a look but she managed to look away before you saw

but she finally founds out what you're doing when some students partake in presentation (even if you didn't want to, the teacher liked you so you had to) and you presented yours

her little heart couldn't handle her excitement when fluid carefully drawn animation popped up on the screen and you looked at your hard work with pride

whatever subject was in the animation you discussed about it with the class and you couldn't help but of course notice the crooked smile that yachi had

she was impressed and filled with so much undescribable feelings, she could cry with how astonishing your work is

after art class yachi decided to approach you and ask a bunch of questions to you and you had the pleasure to answer all of them

you also wanted to cry because of how hyper of a puppy was when yachi would bounce up and down when you started describing about your work and how she would apologize if she was being too excited which you would shake your head to and laugh

you started exchanging numbers and you saved her under "gal who won't stop staring", of course you noticed

she couldn't hide it,,

after finding out where she was after school so you could ask her about art projects or catching up when you're absent, you started going to the club a lot more to also see the boys

they would always see you sliding into the gym and going to one of their managers and asking yachi about something

which they didn't mind much, the simpy duo thought you were stealing her away which you teased them by putting an arm around her as she laughs and says "there was nothing to worry about, y/n doesn't bite"

the whole team suprisingly loves to see your work especially hinata since he would make sound affects for your characters if you haven't added any audio yet

he would leap when your character does a transition or the scenery changes and he would gush about how cool you and your animation were

you, hinata and yachi would walk home admiring your work and yachi would also pull out her drawing as well to show both of you

hinata were both your hype man, he would compliment and point out every detail he loves

(i'm also convinced he has made doodles but they would look wonky but cute)

and since you two were close you always had sleepovers!!

usually it was at hinata's house so you could bond with natsu and she was entertained by your animations that you set up on your projecter

sometimes hinata's mom would pop up and see how it goes and she appreaciates having you over since you were such a kind and close friend of hinata that matches his energy

it was such a blast, stuffing yourselves with snacks and chortling till midnight which hinata's mom would try to shush all of you but she couldn't help but join in because it was so much fun

you would all have headaches though the next day buuut it was worth it~~

whenever you feel out of it, yachi's there

she would always be there to give you snacks or ask you take a few breaks if you worked too much

she would try to scold you and you just can't help but follow because it would be mean of you to ignore her words

and oh they were so wise

it helped you through times when she wasn't even there and it was good that you followed so you didn't hurt your mental health from the get go

now to timeskip,,

T I M E S K I P :

you were an independant animator animating part of your manga with your crew which you grouped together with your friend who was the boss of everything

you felt proud of yourself since you reached a long way,

how your parent/s didn't suppprt you from the start to how stress swallows you whenever you were near a deadline to how people complain if their request wasn't fulfilled to their liking,

yes, you still experienced it but it was a lot more better now than your highschool years telling you to shut up about your dreams

here you were animating frame by frame of your own creation,

what exactly was your manga about?

volleyball :))

yachi and karasuno's volleyball team has inspired you so much about how much team work and pain they went through and your heart stop whenever you remember

your big inspo, yachi who would never stop babbling about you and being right by your side when you need it

you might cry on the tablet you're drawing on which make your crew question on what are you crying about but you held back which also made your crew question why were you smiling so hard

nonetheless, you were almost happy everyday because you could reminisce with the ideas yachi gave you back then which you still kept dearly because they were great plot points

and how you stick close to each character no matter how goofy or chaotic they were, they had a lesson for each time they appear and dissappear

that's how the stadium smelled like, the colours and the adrenaline you felt by cheers from the crowds, you felt like you could fly right now with how much you wanted to scream the team's name and let them notice you

it smelled like the victory the monster duo had, it filled you with so much glee to watch them gain fans from the sidelines

you also felt hinata and kageyama's pride swelling and you could knock your chair over if you kept this up

there he was the orange haired boy who used to be your biggest fan standing in front of you who now has a lot more fans trailing behind him

eventhough he smelled musky and felt sweaty you can't control the urge to hug him and he also can't too

you later hugged kageyama and just spilled all your excitement to both of them on how well the matches went and hinata couldn't resist hugging you again and twirling you around

he planned on telling you all about your manga and how he haven't catched up on it yet on some of it and a pang struck your heart as you teared up which confused hinata

ah, he still remembered

"are you crazy, of course i did!" his boyish laughter was louder than your sobs when he rested your head on his chest and pushed him off, complaining about how sweaty he was

oh you silly goose, of course he did

you also met up with the rest and tumbled into yachi when she appeared around the corner and everyone laughed it out

either of you got a headache as you both help each other up

hinata and kageyama would stand near the third years who held their hearts and congratulated them

which kageyama would smile and nod while hinata would still bashfully scratch his neck while happily thanking them because his seniors were proud of him

you would take a selfie with yachi and hinata, yachi would be the one leaping off the ground and eventhough the picture was a little blurry atleast you could catch both of their smiles

the next time you meet up, hinata was there in his comfy clothes melting into all the pillows you pelted at him and you snuggled right next to him when you both were fresh out the shower

just like the old times, how he would wrap around your arm and yachi would be on your left doing the same

except this time, you were the one snuggling onto hinata's arm

you felt kinda sad that yachi couldn't join since she was really busy

but hinata interrupted your thoughts with a screech when you whipped your head back to see what he was doing

the television showed your blood sweat and tears of the countless projects and art that you did about it, dropping your head on hinata's shoulder as not even a second in, you got a series of shout and yells of eagerness from him

"i added a reference of you somewhere~" "huh! really? did you add kageyama?? he'll text me about it later-"

and the night was drowning in the amounts of laughter and euphoria you two shared,

the number 2 who supports you will always be the number 1 in your heart

[bitob]

200 followers follow forever

ok first of all ? it is wild to me that i’ve actually gotten to this point ? like... a year ago this was a half-dead indie where i had approximately 1.5 partners... and now it’s a functional blog where i post actual themes, with actual followers ? just. woah. thank you guys.

second of all. there isn’t a header for this because i??? am braindead and can’t come up with ideas for headers for these sorts of posts. also typing this up on the train and trying to get it finished before my signal drops out, so.

third of all. i would like to say a gigantic thank you to all the people who deemed me a worthy recipient of their following. i’ll try to come up with some sort of resource thing to post as a thank you to all of you ! (if you have any strong feelings about what you’d like to see, pls lmk)

finally. i didn’t do one of these for 100 followers... because i had like 2 mutuals. now, though? now i have lots (jk i have 10 idk if that’s a lot or not) and they all need complimenting. so, here we go:

@ynkkoo  :  i mean, everyone knows how great you are (and if they dont they do now), but when you hype up my rps? when you compliment my themes? you make me into the softest pile of goo imaginable. we’ve been mutuals for quite a while now (i think) and genuinely, you are part of why tumblr is where i go to destress.

@springdoy  :  i don’t remember exactly when we became mutuals, but i’m glad we did, because you’re one of the highlights of my dashboard, especially when you post original content (because everything you do is so pretty! pls spare some talent for the rest of us). your themes are absolutely gorgeous, and you’re really one of the sweetest people on this website.

@chanheez  :  we’re mutuals but i don’t think we’ve ever actually talked ? which is wild because we’ve been mutuals since... idk like the jjinhwan or yvnan days. but anyway, your gifs and gif icons are beautiful and your presence on my dash and love of ikon & the boyz has been greatly appreciated.

@mintrps​  /  @donhgun​  :  another mutual i’ve pretty much never talked to. ngl, i’m kind of ... intimidated by you ? idk but. everything you make is absolutely beautiful (just like you!).

@drunkblushed  :  another excellent theme maker, and another mutual i’m scared to talk to. everything you make is so pretty and well-designed and you have such a nice aesthetic? ig i just find it intimidating.

@hiqey  :  idk what to say but i want to say something. idk. ur cool. still have absolutely no idea why you followed me of all people, but i’m not going to complain. everyone knows you’re an icon.

@bitchstal  :  hey look another mutual who makes absolutely beautiful content but whom i’m slightly terrified of. ok but tumblr actually made me accidentally follow you ? and honestly it was the one time i’ve actually been grateful for one of tumblr’s fuck-ups, because having you on my dash is rlly nice. you post & reblog great things.

@hotjoong  :  you only followed me back like. super recently. but your gifs are beautiful, your choice of groups to stan is galaxy brained, and i could keep going all day but then you’d spend too long reading this when you should be taking care of urself.

@taevevos  :  you supply my dash with what feels like a never-ending stream of bts posts (which is a good thing, by the way), and i would like to give u a hug bc i think u need and deserve endless affection.

@sercnidad  :  your themes ??? actually so so so pretty like ??? if i was actually skilled at graphics & filling out themes i would definitely use them. also just in general you seem like a very cool person.

[briteboy]

using the new tag “sunny answers” for these anon ask compilations as per request of an anon who actually enjoys going through these posts! this one’s 4 u bb 💕

omg there’s a lot of questions here, more than i thought there’d be. rando story stuff, leftovers from the Trans Fiasco (and no i will 100% NOT be answering anymore questions about it after this, aside from the non-anons who already messaged me about it), and some astrology questions towards the end! enjoy

I seriously love & understand santi's mind but at the same time I feel so bad for Lou (I love her more ok) and I just wanna hug her and grant all her wishes and fill her void and give her 9999 amazing lovers Idk SANTI Y U LIKE THIS hahahaha ok sorry your story is my bible basically. Other than Ramona to live for Lou needs someone that stays LOU NEEDS HAPPINESS!!!!!

9999 AMAZING LOVERS LMAO will u be the 10,000th tho...that is the question. i think we all relate to santi, so much in fact that his actions are infuriating because it’s like WHYYY but then i’m like oh wait i do dumb shit too when i’m sad/in pain. he still dumb tho she does need happiness, and hopefully she will find it in this story ;__;

I'm so hyped for everything happening w your sims omg! Like I'm so so excited about Lou's story and her family (which I sent asks about before btw so that tells you) and I'm so excited about Rooney and Gianni and bby Ramona going to Japan (which is literally my fav country so my love for you and your blog just deepens with every second) and Santi just getting better somewhere (where? We don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it) I just ugh. Love your blog

OMGGGG AHHHDSGJHD THIS EXCITES ME SO MUCH THANK YOOOOUUUU I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED!!! i hope you enjoyed her family reveal today, there is much to still divulge in that area so strap the f*ck in. i have a really clear vision of what i want their japan experience to look like and hopefully it translates into the sims!! who freaking knows tho. i’m glad you’re looking forward to it either way. and yeah who tf knows where santi is right now. “going home” my ASS!! but yeah it is all beautiful in a way ;-; thank you so much my love for u deepens every second i reread this message, you’re so sweet ;__;

(TFB anon again aaaa) OKAY SO i could be wrong because you know him much better than i do obvioisly, but Grand Finale from the new album is giving me some santi vibes rn MMMMMM

HEY!!! i finally listened to the album and honestly...idk how i feel about it BUT i actually did like grand finale, and now that i’m listening to it again i can definitely sense the santi vibes!! (he has been listening to it nonstop since it came out ok) i love that u thought of him ;__; 

I got a retail job two weeks ago. And I hate it. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and then it just gets worse. It’s my first job and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?

oh god. i don’t wanna be a downer but i don’t have much advice for this, retail SUUUUCKS. working in retail opens your eyes to just how stupid, helpless and annoying people can be. it’s not pretty. it CAN get better if you have coworkers you genuinely enjoy spending time with, who can lessen the burden of your responsibilities. joking around can help a lot, so if you’re not friends with them already, try to be!! just talk to them and i’m sure a relationship will grow. also remember it’s not the end of the world if this job doesn’t work out for you. you can find a new one, and you probably will at some point in the future. i’m gonna point you towards @essiesims because she works in retail so she probably has some words of wisdom for you...hopefully...be nice essie

I just realized my new haircut looks exactly like Fiona's hair and I'm 10x happier with it

GOOD!!! i love her hair, mine is sort of like it right now, messy and short lmao. if bby fiona makes you feel more confident by all means OWN dat haircut, you’re sexi

Can I ask if you watch Dan Howell? Bc his new video about his depression actually broke me and I need someone to hug

no i don’t but i googled him and my first thought was “OHH that’s the dan guy who’s gay with phil or whatever” i honestly don’t know who they are but i’ve seen a lot of gifs of them. i’m sorry his vid made you sad :{ U CAN HUG ME I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR U

I just wanted to let you know that I think you're absolutely amazing, and so creative, and your stories are beautiful. I have loved everything you've created, and you're sims are all so beautiful, and the stories are so heart-wrenching, and so well written, and I'm just so absolutely obsessed. I have your notifications on, and I get so excited every time I see you've posted something. :D Keep working hard, and be happy :)

omg ;____________; thank you so soso much ur gonna make me CRY i create everything for myself, but it makes it all feel 1000x more worth it to know it’s affected you this way and you’re enjoying it so much. my heart hurts in the best way. the fact that you have your NOTIFS ON FOR ME OMG i’m so sorry that i probably spam you so much with random asks and stuff. you’re probably like “when will this b*tch shut up” lmfao no but really this is so kind and sweet and it makes me feel warm inside, thank you so much <333

Can I get a link to your story in Chrono order? I'm on my phone and I'm not quite sure how to do it on here ^^'

here u go, or if you can’t click on it, copy and paste this: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono as a general rule, you can go to any tag and add “/chrono” (no quotation marks) at the end and it’ll take you to the beginning.

hi femme! im sorry this is from older posts but how did you get ramona to look the way she did as a baby? thanks in advance!

hello i explained that here!

DEMI GIRL REPRESENTATION YES ILY

HELL YEAH ILY TOOOO

But if you were cisphobic you have a phobia of like a veeeery big part of the population o.o??? Still don't understand that ist even a thing

true! the reason cis people hold the must power in this equation is due large in part to the fact that they are a huge part of the population. so yeah it’s definitely not a thing.

What's cisgender??? Never heard of that

me neither tbh (but if ur not being sarcastic, here)

I love you sunny. Just so you know

Hey Sunny I love you 💕

HEY I LOVE YOU TOOOOO (you both sent this during the Trans Fiasco, and i fully appreciate your kindness in that bleak time)

yikes that anon was obnoxious as hell

this was also during the Trans Fiasco and yeah u right!

What mod do you use to make your sims taller? 😊

this one!

mom why does love hurt so much 😥

no one knows mi childe but i am here for u

^^ me goin after whoever hurt u

I literally just had such a bad nightmare I woke up, scared myself when I tried to reach for my phone and instead accidentally groped my poodle; which resulted in a panic attack. It’s 5am. Please help. I can obviously not take care of myself

GROPED YOUR POODLE OHMDFHOGODFSG I’M SO SORRY POODLE that sucks tho i’m so sorry about the nightmare and the poodle and the panic attack and EVERYTHING, that’s not fun :{ hopefully you got some rest and calmed down since you sent this. if not come to my house we can have a sleepover i will take care of u

I also have a large bra size (32H) and I'm still young so it's still growing.

OH WOOW ARE U OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFICULT ENOUGH TIME HAVING DD’S

@that anon - not all trans ppl even experience dysphasia just admit Defeat

right! i think u meant dysphoria tho. maybe. unless you’re talking about something i don’t know about. but yeah you’re right, every trans person is different. a lot of them do want to change things about themselves, but not all.

hey im goin through an assholes blog and reblogging their posts with confusing internet funnyman comments, saw hate for your blog and decided to send you some support. keep doing what you love with your characters and content ❤❤ -♌🌿

LMAO HEY LEO LEAF were u going through that rando dude’s blog when the Trans Fiasco was happening? because there was some super weird ass blog dedicated to reblogging posts from nonbinary folks and people talking about nonbinary shit and just telling them they’re wrong and transphobic for not believing in the gender binary lmao...so anyways...if that’s not what ur talking about tho i’m sorry i just filled ur ears with that nonsense anyway thank you for this message, it’s so sweet ;__; sorry i didn’t answer it right away, i was recovering from the amount of ugly anons i was getting lmao. thank you for supporting me, ily <333

More Avey pls she's the light of my life

ASDFJHHJKSD SHE WILL APPEAR MUCH MORE JUST TO MAKE THE TROLLS MAD OKAY I LOVE U 💕💕

If another dumbass anon messages you about some silly shit regarding transgenders I’m going to scream. No. Not every trans person wants to transition physically— and no they don’t all want to stereotypical versions of whatever gender they identify with. I know a trans-male that wears makeup and twirls in dresses, and I know a trans-female that loves being a butch lesbian. Personally. I am glad that you’ve chosen to go the route that you have with your character. Fuck the ditsy assholes.

HEY I LOVE YOU AND THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH THANK YOU <33333 ur right, fuck them, they’re ugly anyway

Hey so I'm not like these other anons, I'm asking this as someone has next to no experience with trans people and actually wants to be educated instead of attack you. So if there are some trans people who don't transition and are comfortable with how they look, what exactly makes them uncomfortable with their birth gender?

a number of things, mainly just their discomfort with the category they’ve automatically been placed in from birth. but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to change their body or dress a certain way.

I just wanna applaud you for handling the anons so calmly because I know for certain if they sent me that shit, my trans ass would have acted differently.

LMFAO omg i’m glad you thought i was being calm because i was like “well i guess it’s time to let out my bitchy side” thank you tho, i’m grateful you understand <3

I'm so sorry that Nonnie was such an ass! I wish we had more people speaking up and saying it loud like you did! It was pretty obvious that person has issues that a Tumblr post won't fix but it was nice to see you put them in there place :)

lmao yeah, after a few questions from them i figured it was just pointless. people like that don’t learn even if you’re trying to explain it to them calmly. they just always want to be right by alienating others, and they don’t even realize what they’re doing most of the time. it’s sad really, but i tried my best (and also tried my best not to unleash all my rage lmao) thank you <3

how can Ramona be sooo cute as a toddler?? like how? whats the secret

vitamins

lmao but really IDK i experimented a lot with her face at first and making a custom skin for her definitely helped too. :~}

/post/166031605558/the-pros-cons-of-dating-my-sim-ciarasia *gives Fiona a Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters and a Dexter dolls and stuffed animals and dolls verisons* I like Fiona I think we could get along with each other *gives Lou her fav kind of band shirts and starts counting her freckles* I don't think I'm gonna go mad trying to count

THIS IS SO SWEET AFKJDSKJNGJKLDLGD YOU’RE THEIR SOULMATE i’m gonna write u into the story now u made it

 I know a girl with heterochromia and she also has two different ear shapes. Sometimes I feel like she was meant to be a twin but she absorbed the other one lol. I feel like a weirdo sorry bye.

UR NOT A WEIRDO!!! omg that is funny tho, and very interesting. i wonder if a lot of ppl with heterochromia eyes are like that, with other two different body parts. i’m the twin she absorbed

if you're still doing astrology posts, I'm a Sun-Aries, Moon-Leo and Rising- Scorpio! I'm slowly getting into astrology but i still don't know what that means lol

OOOH SPICY flaming hot cheetos

aries + scorpio are both ruled by mars and then leo is ruled by the sun so holy heck you are probably WAY OUT THERE and by that i mean super outgoing probably, but maybe your scorp rising makes you a bit withdrawn and secretive, so people have to get close to you before they really see you come out. leo moon is one of my favorite placements because it’s so weird, but often i find leo moons can be even more exuberant than leo suns. you probably have a flair for dramatics and love attention even though you might deny it. you really march to the beat of your own drum, but be careful not to be condescending to others about it!!

oh my god all of this astrology stuff is so interesting! idk if you're still doing them, but if you are i'd love to hear about mine: virgo sun, scorpio moon and scorpio rising :) it's totally okay if you're sick of doing these and i'm in no rush to get an answer!

oooooh my mom and beyonce both have virgo sun/scorp moon combos. that’s how u know it’s a good one even tho it seems scary. i find that virgos often have the potential to be very in charge and domineering, but a lot of them bury that potential because they don’t realize they have it inside themselves, and so they let people walk all over them. especially with a scorpio moon, you crave intensity in all forms: through your emotions, relationships, deepest, darkest thoughts, you feel them so powerfully that sometimes it’s too scary and overwhelming for you. learn to trust in that instead of being scared and you will open a new door in your life, especially in combination with your virgo sun, whose inclination is to learn new things and get to the bottom of every mystery. with a scorpio moon AND rising, you are actually that mystery. you might spend a lot of time trying to figure out yourself, but don’t get too introspective because that leads to overthinking and self deprecation.

hey yo i don't need you to do the thing but I'd just like to inform you that i'm a pisces sun leo moon...which is the strangest combo but totally makes sense for my personality. i don't know what any of the other stuff is lmao. but i got a book on astrology so i'm going to learn

OMG i love that combo...it is really weird but somehow the two suit each other. lou and my bff are actually leo sun/pisces moons (so opposite from you lmao, but that’s the reason i like those signs together!) leos have a very active imaginations and pisces just exacerbates that. i feel like in terms of boldness and outgoing nature, it could go either way for you. since pisces suns are usually more understated and quiet, that could fit you. but i often find that leo moons with literally any other placements will make you quite outgoing, sometimes obnoxious. so maybe you flip flop between shyness and outgoingness, especially since pisces focuses on adaptability anyway. 

omg yay yes learn all the things!! report back to me if u find out any cool stuff

I don't know if you're still doing this but if you are please do my birth chart, Virgo sun, Taurus moon, and Rising Sagittarius (if you're not doing them anymore it's fine

oh dang u earthy as F*CK. i would hate to get on your bad side, you are probably stubborn as hell and refuse to move from any position you hold. your sagittarius rising also probably makes you warm and inviting but competitive as heck. these are the two earth signs that i actually think go with sag really well! for some reason they always have a weird connection. i’ve talked about it a bit before. you are probably super chill and people like to hang out with you because you just do nothing and be homebodies but still have a good time. you might be prone to worry and restlessness, but listen to your intuition that tells you to calm down and focus on taking things slow.

Okay so I'm apparently a Leo sun, Scorpio moon and a Leo ascendant. What does this even mean help me lmao

OOH WOW ANOTHER SPICY BOY...honestly the first word that came to mind was “battleborn”. lmao you’re probably always looking for something/someone to keep up with your pace and stimulate your needs, and you probably get discouraged a lot because no one can ever match your wild personality. you can probably be overbearing without even realizing, and because of that, not many people can handle you. like i said before, scorpio moons crave intensity, and leos are already intense in their own way, so these two signs (especially the double leo influence) just really kinda egg each other on. so be careful not to get too carried away with doing The Most all the time.

[kimdaily]

I looked through your blog to see what was going on and, damn, it's like people forget you're a real life person, too. It always sucks to see big blogs like you I admire feeling stressed because of Tumblr. Like people need to realize that while this is a bangtan/namjoon blog, this is also a personal blog and you're not going to have the answers to every single question. (And I honestly don't understand anons who continue to follow you if they're only going to send hate).

Anonymous said:@ the people who are sending negative comments and suggesting this blog to be deleted etc. - First of all, I’m sorry that people like you have to exist. Try to imagine being dragged by dozens of anonymous assholes every single day in a place that’s supposed to be enjoyable? Please go invest your time and energy into learning how to become better human beings, bc it’s honestly so lame to be investing so much into making someone’s day even worse than it already is. Sab, stay strong

kjjownsme said:I love your blog and everything you do for those of us who enjoy your comments and content but you owe no one a damn thing.

visualseokjin said:‘take a break. like permanently.’ lmao people are so fucking rude. i’m sorry for them and sorry that u have to deal with them. i just wanted to pop in and say that your presence and everything you do for this fandom is so appreciated ;; and i hope the bad apples don’t manage to push you away from something that you love.

Anonymous said:The people who say you’ve been mean and rude can go fuck themselves tbh - you’ve are soft and cute and so sweet you don’t deserve this shit

Anonymous said:I will be sad but understanding if you decide to delete. I came to this blog for bts, stayed for you, and now I check your blog everyday. You could just reblog pictures of walls and I’d still have notifications on and get hype every time you post. Your posts regarding school and stress comfort me and your bangtan posts distract me from my own stress from school. I appreciate you and this blog so much- thank you for putting up with bullshit messages and negativity for so long. 

mxbebes said:been following you for a while now and i would say i’d miss you on my dash a lot of u left ♥ if that’s the choice you need/want to make i support you but if it’s over uncertainty about posting what you want all i can offer is the advice to screw anyone who tries to dictate what you want to put on /your/ blog maybe turn of asks/anons for a while if it gets to much or get into the habit of blocking the assbags who seem entitled to tell u what to post ♥ anyway ily a lot u would be missed if u left

Anonymous said:Hey I love your blog but if you think deactivating would put you in a better mental state then maybe that’s what’s more important. But I hope you know that you’re an amazing person who’s blog has done some good. I always glossed over Namjoon until I saw you and your posts. Now he’s one of my favorites. I’m sorry anons have affected your enjoyment on here. Just know you’ve got followers who care about how you feel, whether that means you leaving or not.

baepsaeling said:i haven’t been following you for very long but honestly the amount of shit you’re getting is ridiculous. but since you say Tumblr is your getaway place - maybe throw this blog on hiatus and start a smaller blog for the time? in either case, please don’t be afraid to give yourself a break. we all need one, occasionally. i hope stuff is gonna clear up and you’ll feel better soon! 💖

Anonymous said:hello please stay strong you’re my fav namjoon stan. if you really cant take it, take a break for a little bit and come back for us please? We love you

bukedo said:Hello~ I’d like to say that i’ve only started following you recently and up to this point i haven’t regretted anything of it, as a blog for Namjoonie you have been one of the best and i understand why you are upset/mad and tbh i would be too … I always look everything up before i ask around and only ask when i don’t find any answers. All the things about Namjoonie are very easy to find and people shouldn’t keep bothering you 💜 (Stay perfect ! 💜💜)

Anonymous said:You’re super amazing, your blog is super amazing and tbh all the salty haters just need to go get lives… I mean at what point do you think its ok to harass someone on tumblr… I mean, it’s tumblr… If you’re going to be a lil bish at least get of anon and have the guts to say it to someones face.

lunalilymoon said:i’m so so sorry i love you and your blog and namjoon but do what is best for you ❤

gogomaki said:Hon… please stay strong! I love you! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Anonymous said:I don’t know what has happened and I don’t need too. I’m sorry for whatever has happened and I believe you deserve a break… ❤❤

Anonymous said:@ the people who are always buggin you for updates or askin what namjoon did: there is this lovely site called google where you can get most if not all the answers ur lookin for plus there are like 3456658 different update blogs that would probably love to take ur questions. shocking i know. also if some of yall hate namjoon so much what tf are you doin on an obvious namjoon stan blog talking shit like are you stupid?? and sab can be as sassy as she wants shes a fucking human with emotions okay!

Anonymous said:i want u to feel better, but i know nothing i say can. just… always try to look on the bright side of things, okay? as corny as that i

Anonymous said:Delete your blog then. I never saw you as someone holding every action Namjoon did I saw you as an actual human being. A human being who breaks down who stresses out who gets angry. Who has EMOTIONS. I’m sending this and I’m not going to sugar coat shit and tell you it gets better. Because nothing ever does unless you work through it. If you delete your account, don’t do it then regret it. Im sending this in as anon cause you may not answer but I’m not going to give you a sugarcoated response

hoshyoung said:Please remember that your own mental amd physical health is more important than running this blog. I know lots of people will support whatever decision you make, including myself. We just want you to be happy and healthy No matter what, I wish you all the happiness in the world!! 💕💕💕💕💕 (I’m sorry for all of the people who are being selfish and rude, you deseve so much more than that)

Anonymous said:hi bae~ i literally just got online and was ??? omg why is my ult namjoon blog stressing??? so i read what you said and i feel so sorry for you :((( i can’t imagine getting so many asks about someone you stan, especially negative asks. i get so exhausted just reading someone being nasty / bringing up joon’s past, so i can’t imagine how tired and frustrated you must be to have all that in your askbox. i just wanted to drop in to say that i love you very much!!! [ 1/2 

Anonymous said:I’m so sorry. I used to be one of your old anons that checked on you and also talked to you a lot, but I guess I haven’t been doing a good job of that lately. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten off of my lazy ass and come check on you, because you’re very important to me. I think you’re absolutely amazing, and you’re so kind and nice to everyone. I hate that you feel this way, I know how hard you’ve worked. But if you decide to stay, I promise to start writing you cute messages again. I love you ❤❤

Anonymous said:Sab I’m sorry you have to go through with this negativity! I love your blog and love you personality! And i don’t know if this will lighten your mood even just a tad but I have a random question for you: who do you Stan more Ryan or Kumamon?

Anonymous said:I’m sorry you’re not having a great time on Tumblr as of late for a variety of factors and that people are belittling your comments down to a sentence. Just wanted to say hi, and send you my well wishes. I love seeing you on my dash, both kpop related content and otherwise. It’s nice seeing the blogger behind the blog. Also, you have a superb playlist. I hope your crazy school project does well, despite that I know you’re not thrilled about being part of the whole thing. #Sabjoon2k17

thornyrosebush3 said:I know I’ve never messaged you before (anxiety) but I just wanted to let you know that whatever decision you make will be okay. If you do delete your blog to make the pressure and stress go away, that is okay. I’m not here to tell you ‘not to delete your blog, everything will be okay’ because I want you to feel comfortable no matter what decision you make. -M.

Anonymous said:I really would like to get to know you more and chat with you because I honestly think you are such a wonderful person. But I feel like I would be imposing on you by chatting with you like a friend I feel as if it would be rude because it’s almost like being overcomfortable? But I love your blog and would love to get know you ☺️

Anonymous said:Project start flooding your asks with nice things so that you don’t have to read all that sh*t is a go . :)

bangtan-world said:I love a human being, and that human being is called Sabrina.❤

Anonymous said:I give you so much props for the amount of patience you have and I’m sorry that you have to deal with annoying/rude anons :( anyone that sends you hate can come and fight me! Pls keep being an amazing ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry for all the things your going through. If I could do something I would. Here a change from all the things your getting. How are you? Hope you have a good night/day.

Anonymous said:Are you going to start a new account? Because like you said it wouldn’t be fair for you to have to start over because of hate. But I really love your blog and I understand and really hope that your okay.

hobismole said:😩 your selfie killed me why are you so freaking beautiful?? Also I’m sorry that people are treating you like this you deserve so much better! Don’t worry too much about what other people think and do whatever decision you feel is right for and your blog 💞

Anonymous said:hellooooo, just dropping by to say that i appreciate you & your blog very much! im new to BTS and your blog is among the first few ones that i followed. :) dont let the haters get you down, there’s plenty of us here who like & appreciate you! \o/

Anonymous said:I think you should just turn off anon asks so if people want to really know the answer to their shitty questions they have to be willing to have their identity known (and I know that me being on anon writing this is ironic 😂)

Anonymous said:I’ve just come back from a tumblr hiatus to see you sad and!! No!! I’m so sorry people are not treating you and your blog how they should and it’s pushed you to feel like wanting to delete. I hope you know you’ll be missed but if you feel it’s what you have to do we understand!! Stay strong like we know you can and do what you feel is best!!

Anonymous said:What’s your favourite nose shape? Mines the ones that look kinda too long but are turned up at the end and are really cute. Hope you can get over the negativity

Anonymous said:Your own mental health and comfort is important too. while i can’t give any concrete solutions for you, at least know that there is this anon who supports your decision either way. stay healthy and safe 'kay?

Anonymous said:we’ll miss you darling. please be safe and do what is healthy for you because that is the most important thing! i’m sure you’ll get many more nice messages before you go besides this one but if not i’ll keep sending these until you feel better! if you want to come back we’re always here. much love, a quiet anon who loves seeing you on their dash ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry your blog is surrounded by so much negativity. In an attempt to at least make you smile, or get to know you, what kind of things do you like? Movies, tv shows, Kpop groups, artists? I’d be more than happy to ask you things about yourself 💕

i-am-wordaholic said:Do what u have to do sweety. Don’t hand over ur peace of mind for anyone. If that means closing the acc then… that sucks but it’ll have to be. You wouldn’t want Namjoonie to keep doing smth that makes him unhappy cuz he feels he owes it to ppl, right? So, don’t do it to urself either. Fighting!!!

reprobateravenclaw said:Oh. My. God. Wtf? Like I get it's nice to be nice and stuff, but honestly, you don't have to be. You can just tell someone to fuck off when you don't wanna discuss smth. You don't hold any sort of responsible behaviour to anyone. Yeah sure, be nice and all, but slam them to the pits of hell if you wanna/need to. Just saying. Take it easy. Being mean isn't always bad when it comes to you. Like, if you're someone who cares about what people say to you,its essential to know when to be a bitch.

Anonymous said:hey :) i saw all those posts you just made, honestly i have no idea what happened to you but don't give up on tumblr if it's the thing that made you happy once (if this makes sense...) there's still a lot of us that appreciate everything you do! ily x

Anonymous said:hi! i've never sent any asks before so i Hope This Is Okay but i saw what was going on and i'm so sorry that that's been happening to you. that sounds Ultra Mega Shitty and :( if you want to delete/deactivate i wont stop u if u think its the right thing for u b/c ur happiness + health are the Most Important !! i just wanted to tell u that i love ur blog lots and lots!! you're one of the first bts blogs i ever followed :') thank u for blessing my dash and being a Gr8 :') i hope ur doing well!! :)

Anonymous said:I just saw you're going through all this shit. I have followed you for awhile and I'm like so invested in your life in a weird way? It's hard to explain. I just want you to be able to breathe a little and not feel so overwhelmed. I know how life can make you feel like you're barely keeping your head above water. I hope you get some rest and are able to just chill a little from all this. Love you!!

thank you guys so much, I genuinely want to thank you all of such kind things. tomorrow is a new day, we’ll put all this in the past and look forward to better days. 

I care about you all so much and hope you have a fantastic bright day, thank you so much again I wish I could hug you all for sending me such nice things it means more than I think you could ever understand. I love you, you guys are the reason I come on everyday hopeful and a full heart. 

again sorry  for everything, I just it’s been weighing heavy on me for the past two or so months and I sadly finally cracked and had to let it out.