#pls pray for me to pass <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[that-was-anticlimactic]

no one asked bUT imma go off (affectionate) anyways. ahem:

edse (practicum): portfolio is completed, did portfolio presentation this morning, blog is updated, have all the rubrics... DONE

347: major identity essay? done. final “essay”? done. just gotta go to class tomorrow so we can meet for the final exam time slot and we are going to. talk about books. no more assignments, yay!

395: edtpa? DONE. reflection? DONE. self-evaluation for edtpa? DONE. now, all i have to do is edit edtpa and then submit it for like Official grading and not class grading

405: presentation? made and presented. revision portfolio and reflection? DONE (finished it like fifteen minutes ago lol)

444: giant research paper? DONE. reflection? done. presentation? DONE. just gotta go to the final exam period thursday to watch the rest of the presentations, but no more work for meeeeeeee

and then finally... 305... the only final i actually have left...

[myfriendtheghost]

I’m finally calming down and I’m gonna thank Josh for that post and God + my doctor for my anxiety medication lmao

[sins-and-sincerity]

knew inept was opposite of skillful but i doubted myself n didnt choose fuck

[stargirlrchive]

song chord ✩ jake sully

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: jake sully x female!reader but no use of y/n, arranged marriage, sunshine!jake x grumpy!reader, kind of lmao. angst, jealousy, mentions of death, feelings of insecurities. fluff. <3 i think that is all, pls lmk if i missed anything 

word count: 5,112

tìyawn (n) - love

comments: first fic in a few months, first avatar fic ever <3 i really loved writing this, so i hope you all love it too, okay mwah mwah bye ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You had not wanted your night to end like this, angrily picking at your song chord as your mother whispered to the elders of her desire to have you wed, and to the Olo’eyktan none the less. Every stone, every achievement, you had earned felt as though it was taken from you. Ripped from your fingers just as you were starting to enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Toruk Makto sat across from your mother, listening closely as the elders proposed the idea of uniting your family. Joining forces to strengthen the clan, providing security and faith to the people he led.

You had wished so much more for yourself, to have your accomplishments be only your own. Not tied to a man you would never be equal to. All your life you had fought to be perfect, to be an accomplished warrior and fight for your people. Your eyes welled with tears as your fingers ran across the newest bead on your song chord. An iridescent pearl that your father had picked for you, that you held so dearly and were waiting for the perfect culminating moment in your life to add to your chord. Your Iknimaya was given the grace of bearing the pearl.

Your mind swirled with the prospect of being wed, being mated to a man you knew very little about, a man you had only met in passing. As much as you tried to find a way to fix this you couldn't, it felt like your thoughts were running a millions miles a minute and getting no answer. It was very clear that you had no way to object, your family would be so disappointed and the fear that nestled into your chest far outweighed the fear of sacrificing your future, it was almost debilitating. Either way you ended up losing.

You roughly wiped at your eyes and tried to calm your breathing, quietly counting to ten as you willed yourself to object, to tell them your future was yours and no one else's. You had lost so much due to the war with the sky-people, you did not want to lose this too. The words were on the tip of your tongue but your eyes locked onto Jake’s and his fear was clear as day within his eyes. It comforted you, a bit. Knowing you were not the only one silently suffering, but he was the last person you wanted to find comfort in.

He cleared his throat and the room was silenced instantly, causing a lump to form at your throat. “Before I agree I would like us to speak, privately.”

You nodded as he stood, following after him outside of the tent. He walked outside of the camp, towards the dark forest that was only illuminated by the fluorescent lights of the plants and small insects native to the land. Normally you would question why he was leading you away from everyone, but it felt as though all the energy was taken from you.

Not too far into the forest there was a clearing, a small pond with glowing fish. He grunted quietly as he lowered himself to sit, dipping his feet into the pond as he sighed quietly. None of you said anything for a while, you had stayed standing by the trees and looking up into the sky. Silently praying to Eywa to give you the strength to fulfill your duty with an open mind, and even an open heart.

He turned to look at you, watching as your brows furrowed even more as a shooting star passed by, “Do you mind sitting with me?”

A small huff left your lips but you did as he asked, slowly approaching him and keeping a sizeable distance between the two of you, dipping your feet into the water just as he had. “I did not expect to be mated, the thought had never really crossed my mind.”

You kept quiet, trying to focus on his words as you fought the tears trying to fall from your eyes, he took your silence as a sign to keep speaking. “I know a lot of the Na’vi still blame me for what happened, I do too.” His throat tightened, gruff with guilt and unshed tears balling up, and for the second time tonight you found comfort that you were both suffering. “I am trying to be better, and I will prove to you everyday that I am no longer loyal to the sky-people. Believe me, the Clan’s best interest is my main priority and I would never again willingly do something to harm them.”

Silence.

“I know it is not ideal, having to marry a skxawng like me, but I would like to continue the engagement if you wish.”

You sighed quietly and tucked your knees in, resting your arms on them to lay your head gently, “I do not blame you.”

He nodded and averted his eyes to the pond, not believing your words, “I-I just did not picture my life to be this way. After my father died I tried so hard to accomplish everything he wanted for me, that is why it took me time to complete my Iknimaya, I wanted everything to be perfect.” His ears twitched as he listened to you.

“I just do not know if this is what he would have wanted for me.” Your last words were whispered quietly, almost as if you did not want him to hear.

“I fear everything I have ever accomplished will be stripped from me, and I will just be seen as Toruk Makto’s wife. Expected to be the next Tsahik and I can barely interpret the will of Eywa for myself, how am I expected to do so for the rest of the clan?”

He laughed loudly, as if what you said was the funniest thing in the world. As if your worries were comical and before you could stop yourself you hissed in his direction, making your way to stand up. “I’m sorry-wait I’m sorry-you made me laugh but I did not mean to offend you.”

You stopped yourself from leaving, “See what I mean? Skxawng.”

Your lips barely twitched at the end and you hoped he hadn’t caught it. He did.

“I am a warrior JakeSully, I will not sit back and watch the people fight. I will be front line.”

He smiled at your words, “I would also like to get to know you better, no wedding within the next two-three weeks, yes?”

He leaned back on his arms and looked up at the night sky, millions of tiny stars scattered all across you. “Ok, no wedding soon.”

He sent you a warm smile and it eased the gnawing feeling in your chest, “One final request, I wish to be seen as your equal, taken into consideration when it comes to decisions of the clan, not just your wife but your partner.”

His silence scared you, fearful of what would leave his mouth, “That is all I want.”

A small smile made its way onto your features, feeling far more content then how you expected this night to go.

You were both silent for a long time, just enjoying the beautiful forest of Pandora, “I must go, it is well past Eclipse and my mother will be worried.”

Jake nodded and stood up, leaning his arm forward to help you too. You both silently made your way through the short distance back to the camp, quickly making your way to your tent. You were about to go in, without sparing him another look but his hand reached for your forearm to stop you from walking, “We are in this together, from here on out it is you and me. I am not taking this lightly and-and I will be your friend through all of this.”

Your eyes welled with tears again, having to come to terms with your future in those few seconds as you looked up into his golden eyes. “Thank you, I will try my best too.”

You sent him a small smile before moving into your tent, hoping to sleep away the still overwhelming fear of having no control of your life.

-

You blinked the sleep away from the night before, trying to relax the nauseating feeling that nestled in your stomach as you recalled the events of last night. Why had you so willingly opened up to JakeSully, why?

You did not know him, and from the whispers that followed him around you were one of the few Na’vi women that did not want to. You had opened up some of your deepest concerns last night, and for the life of you, you didn’t know why. You soothingly rubbed the beads of your song chord, trying to ground yourself and push the tears down that seemed to flow like a never ending river.

Your ears twitched gently as you heard movement outside of your tent, “Who is there?”

Someone cleared their throat as you sat up, fixing your chest beads and loin cloth on your way to stand up. “It’s Jake, um-I wanted to spend some time with you. As friends do.”

You tsk’ed lowly, slowly making your way towards the opening of the tent, head peeking out only to be met with a gentle smile on the Toruk Makto’s face. You refrained from rolling your eyes at the tall man, going back into your tent but leaving it open so he could follow. “Give me a few minutes and I will be ready.”

He hummed quietly as he stepped in, eyes jumping from corner to corner of your tent. Curiously walking towards a make-shift shelf, filled from top to bottom with your trinkets. From your first arrow, to dried flowers and pretty stones you had collected since you were a child. You observed him, feeling your heart jump to your throat as he reached to pick something up. Feeling exposed to him in a way you couldn’t describe.

Your mind eased as he gently picked up the only picture you had on there, one that Grace had taken of your mother and father that she gifted you on a random day during her classes. “My condolences for your father, I never got to meet him.”

You said nothing as you continued to ready yourself, turning your back to him and making sure he was still occupied with the shelf before changing quickly, adjusting the straps on the cloth that fell on your hips as he turned towards you. “What will we be doing, JakeSully?”

His nose twitched softly at his full name.

“Is it your hunting or training day?”

You shook your head no, “Perfect, let’s go for a ride.”

Your eyes lit up softly, anytime you got to spend with your Ikran was so special to you, your sweet Pey’lal. Following behind him happily as he threaded through the forest where the claimed Ikran’s rested. Your tongue instinctively started clicking once you made it to the large tree, looking towards the sky for a large blur of purple and blue.

There was a large gust of wind and a powerful thud as Pey’lal landed gracefully in front of you, nuzzling her head against your cheek as you laughed happily. “My sweet girl, I have missed you.”

You cooed happily as she made happy clicking noises at the attention you were giving her, Jake clearing his throat made you snap out of your happy bubble. Pey’lal looked up as if just noticing him for the first time, moving her head to the side in question, flapping her wings as a warning sign. Your hand reached out to soothe her, letting her know to stand down. She relaxed instantly. “This is Pey’lal, my Ikran. Isn’t she beautiful?”

Your smile reached your eyes for the first time and Jake nodded, “This is Bob.” He patted his Ikran’s head who huffed in slight annoyance and it caused a laugh to ripple from your throat, “Bob?”

Jake’s face flared as his ears twitched, “I think it fits him, he is quite goofy.”

“If you say so, JakeSully.”

There was a beat of silence before you connected your queue to Pey’lal’s, jumping smoothly onto her back, “Well, let’s get to flying.”

In the next instant you were off, looking back momentarily only to see Jake jumping onto his Ikran to catch up.

-

It had been several weeks since Jake had taken you out to fly, or out on a date as he called it. But ever since then it was as if he was glued to your hip, accompanying you even when it was not necessary. Like when you went to pick fruit or went hunting, Pey’lal was even growing accustomed to him being around. Just yesterday she nuzzled her head against his chest as he called out for Bob, something she had only ever done with you.

You had tried to be annoyed with him, wanting to keep him as far away from you as possible but he had slowly, very slowly, started to crack the walls you had built up and began staking claim.

Like even now, as he sat across from you and smiled at your annoyance towards him, your tail swishing in frustration. “You are Olo'eyktan and cannot even pronounce basic words.”

You tsk’ed quietly as he leaned back on his arms, not focusing on what you were saying. He laughed deeply, one that you could tell started in his chest, “I cannot focus today.”

“You can never focus.”

“You are distracting me.”

Your brows furrowed together, confusion evident on your face. Another laugh left his throat, “I do not like being laughed at, JakeSully.”

“I am not laughing at you.” It continued, the sound warming your chest as you feigned being offended, purposely dropping your ears, “I just think you are so-so-interesting.”

You huffed and moved away from him, “You really know how to woo me.”

His face dropped and you bit back the smile that threatened to crack across your face, tucking your tail away as he scooted closer to you, “I meant that in a good way-I did not want to offend you.”

You turned your face to him, the laugh escaped you as soon as your eyes locked onto his, face full of concern, “I was only kidding you Skxawng. I think you are interesting too.”

He pushed your shoulder with his own, smiling so hard his cheeks felt sore.

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you, and in the next instant it hit you just how close he was, the side of his thigh pressed against yours and you flushed deeply. Ears twitching as you tried to stop your body from going rigid against his.

Jake's finger twitched softly as he contemplated reaching for your hand, he wouldn’t put it past you to flick him with your tail if he tried to, but even still he wanted to know how your hands would feel against his.

Your face was turned away from him, clearly trying not to face him and he swore you knew what he was up to, your fingers twitched softly as it rested on your leg. Before he could think about it too much he slipped his hand under your own, tangling his fingers with yours and closing, rubbing gently along your knuckles.

Your hand had tensed as he held it, still avoiding his gaze and he almost retracted but slowly your fingers relaxed into his, his tail swished softly in excitement as you folded your fingers to hold his hand.

“Your hands are sweaty, Toruk Makto.”

He refrained from laughing, “Yeah well-you make me nervous. One wrong move and I know it will earn me a tail flick to the head.”

You laughed at his words and turned to him, cheeks still blazing as he got a good look at you. Your cheeks were a soft purple and a smile that reached all the way to your eyes.

“Do not tempt me.”

Your tail gently flicked against his arm and he felt a warm sensation start in his belly and make its way up to his chest, causing goosebumps to rise all across his arms.

After a beat of silence he began speaking again, “So, how do you say it? Kalultal?”

“No-no! Kelutral!”

-

The weeks had started to bleed into each other the more time you spent with Jake. Your eyes instinctively looked through the sea of Na’vi as you searched for him, a proud smile on your face as you lugged around the Hexapede you had hunted not too long ago.

You had noticed him a couple of feet away, his back towards you and there was an instant smile that made its way to your face, trying to get to him faster. Your eyes were taking in his back, a small heat rising to your cheeks as you let your stare run across his shoulders and down to his arms.

You opened your mouth to call out for him but you clamped up almost instantly, ears twitching in question as his head was thrown back and a loud laugh left his lips. Your eyes finally shifted to who was in front of him and felt a sting begin to settle in your stomach. It was Neytiri.

They were talking animatedly between each other, laughing and you were not sure why it left such a bitter taste in your mouth. Cheeks now flushed but for an entirely different reason, anger bubbled in your chest. You tried to wrack your brain for what it could be, you had always gotten along with Neytiri so why had you started to feel a sense of insecurity in yourself as you noticed how easy it was for them to get along? How easy it had been for them since the beginning.

The realization scared you even more so when you came to the conclusion that it was jealousy, you had started to feel some sort of claim to the Toruk Makto and it hurt. You felt so stupid, how could you think he wanted you when Neytiri had been a part of his life from the moment he was introduced to the clan? She had shown him the in’s and out’s, he had fallen in love with your people, with your home, through her.

You felt a lump rise to your throat as you handed off the Hexapede to be skinned for the feast later in the evening, rushing past the crowd of people behind you. You wanted to be far away from him, from her, from everyone. Your ears had turned inward and all you could hear was the beating of your heart. It came in loud thuds, deep and sorrowful.

You had made it towards your tent, not noticing that Jake had clocked you dropping the animal off. He had called you several times which you had not heard. He had noticed how your shoulders were tensed, a look so unfamiliar to him on your face and he knew something was wrong. His fingers tangled around your forearm before you slipped into your tent, you jolted back against his chest showing him just how distracted you were.

Jake called your name softly and his brows furrowed together as you refused to look at him. “Is everything alright?”

You hissed in his direction and yanked your forearm from his grip, Jake stepped back in astonishment as he took in the anger swirling in your eyes. “Leave me alone, JakeSully.”

“Woah-what? Did I-what’s wrong?”

You ignored him and walked into your tent, pacing the perimeters as you tried to keep the emotions from erupting into something uglier. You felt like an open wound and hated that it was caused by the man who only a few months ago you wanted nothing to do with. Your tent was opened as Jake stepped in, confusion evident in his face.

Your angry haze landed on him, his hands up in surrender trying to not overwhelm you as he neared you, “I do not want you near me, Toruk Makto. Just go!”

“I am just trying to figure out what’s wrong, yeah? Let me help.”

“You are the last person I would want help from, get out!”

Your hands had reached up to push at his chest and even Jake knew you were going easy on him, but the pushes were persistent. The frustration more evident each time your palms landed on his chest.

His hands reached out to grab at your wrist, the beads of your song chord digging gently into your skin. Your wrist felt like they were on fire at his touch and felt the anger surge through your body all over again. Hands wriggling angrily against his as he stepped closer, concern clear as day on his features but you could not bring yourself to care. All your deepest insecurities rearing their ugly head at you, a sob threatening to escape from your throat as an uncomfortable feeling settled into your stomach. A feeling that you would not be enough, not for your family, not for Jake, not for the clan.

Your anger peaked, a scream was ready to erupt from your throat as Jake was not letting your wrist go, he was still trying to calm you down. You ripped your wrist from his grip in a whip of anger and felt all the air leave you at once. Your song chord had tangled along the leather braided clasps on Jake's wrist and ripped from yours, the beads falling like a waterfall all around the two of you. “No-no-no!”

Your eyes and hands frantically searched around for the pearl your father had given you, not locating it anywhere and a small whimper left your mouth as the tears flowed from your eyes and down to your neck.

Jake was on his hands and knees instantly as you wept, helping you gather the stones that had been placed on your chord, “Please just leave, Jake! Go with Neytiri and leave me alone.”

Your voice was raw with emotion and it made his heart clench, his ears twitched in confusion but he said nothing as he continued to gather all the beads he saw, an uncomfortable sting making its way to his wrist.

He could tell your holding back from sobbing, you had folded into yourself after all the stones were gathered, your back shaking from your tears. “I will help you build it back, I will weave the chord with you. I am so sorry.”

His hand had reached out to your shoulders pulling you up against him and into his chest, there was a strain on his wrist at the awkward way it bent causing a low hiss to fall from his lips. His hand settled on your head, rubbing soothingly as he felt you calm in his arms, a pinch each time his hand dragged forward but he didn’t care. “Will you let me help you?”

You whimpered quietly as you melted into his embrace, “There is no point.”

“What do you mean, tìyawn?”

You felt your heart flutter at the affectionate name, but your heart felt heavy as you realized you had lost the pearl your father had gifted you, “I lost the pearl for my Iknimaya. It was a pearl my father had gifted me, it meant so much to me and-and I waited for something that felt worthy of carrying the stone and now I have lost it. I no longer want a song chord.”

You broke out into another fit of tears, only this time wrapping your arms around Jake’s neck to find solace in him, and he comforted as best he could, wrapping his arms around you as his fingers traced your back to calm you down once again.

He felt the pinch against his wrist again, an irritation settling softly in his chest at the persistent sting. He pulled his arms closer to you so one rested on your hip while the other tried to unclamp the leather bracelets that sat on his wrist. When the bracelet was off he felt instant relief, his ears twitching at the sound of a pebble landing on the floor. He swore a silent prayer to Eywa fell from his lips as his eyes locked onto the pearl. It was iridescent and had small scratches since you wore your song chord almost everywhere. His fingers reached for the stone, picking it up gently as if he feared it would break under the weight of his fingers. “Is this it?”

Your head lifted from his chest, looking into his palm and a watery laugh left your throat, still thick with emotion as you reached out for it. You looked up into Jake’s eyes and it seemed like hundreds of tears kept flowing from your eyes, Jake's lips were turned downwards as he rubbed at your cheeks, trying to erase the evidence of your sadness. He hated it, he hated seeing you hurting and in that instant swore that he would spend the rest of his life trying to keep you happy.

“I do not like knowing you are sad.”

Your emotions consumed you once again as you stared up at him, eyes flickering to his lips for a brief second. Sniffling softly you leaned your face closer to him, pressing your forehead against his and you let your eyes flutter closed. You could not bear to look at him, he consumed you in every way and the clarity hit you like a ton of bricks. You were in love.

You let your lips fall against his in a quick motion, it was soft even though it only lasted a few seconds. When you pulled back his eyes were closed, cheeks a deep purple, ears twinging pink as he reeled from having your lips on his. “I am no longer sad, Jake. Just sorry, and embarrassed for how I behaved.”

He was all over you in the next instant, lips pressing into yours almost bruisingly as if he tried to forever engrain the feeling of your lips on his. Hands gripped at your hips tightly, pulling you flush against him and a small whine left your mouth. He used the gap between your lips to his advantage as he gently slipped his tongue, almost as if asking for permission. Your teeth softly bit down on the tip of his tongue, soothing it by sliding your own across his. He felt the groan come from the center of his chest, he felt all of you as he wrapped pulled you in closer.

You were the first to pull away, Jake’s lips chasing after your own as you sucked in a long breath, trying to fill your lungs with as much air as possible. You turned from him slightly and placed the pearl with your other stones, turning back to him as your eyes scanned all across his face. “I only want you, my tìyawn. No one else, do you understand me?”

You nodded and let your forehead fall against his again, whispering the words that told him just how you felt, “Oel ngati kameie.”

A laugh rippled from his throat and he placed a kiss to your cheek, “Oel”, a kiss to your nose, “Ngati”, a kiss to your lips, “Kameie”.

You finally pulled away from him, looking at the beads that Jake had gathered for you. “So you will help me?”

He nodded happily, watching your every move as you stood up, picking up a small box that was on your shelf. He couldn't stop the smile that fell on his lips as your tail switched softly, contemplating what material you wanted to hold your beads. You settled on a weaved tan thread, sitting back down next to Jake and you hummed quietly, “You do not have one right, Ma’Jake?”

Jake swore his heart was going to fall out of his chest, “No I do not-no one ever told me to make it so I did not think to do it.”

“You must make one now, we sing the song chord to remember. Each bead is a story in our life.���

Your fingers brushed Jake’s as you handed over the extra piece of string for him to use, placing the box in between the two of you, full of beads, some simpler than others but just as beautiful. The two of you settled into a comfort silence, Jake pausing on occasion to think on certain events that were important enough to add to his chord, digging his fingers into the box.

You had finished your chord quickly, knowing it by memory and Jake noticed you had not added any new beads, until the last one, that one was new.

It was a soft shade of blue, it stood out beautifully against the majority of white and brown of it. “That is new.”

His fingers ran across your song chord, it was so much more intricate than his, showing just how proud you should be of yourself, now a constant reminder how he will always be proud of you. “It is for you, Toruk Makto.”

You flushed and shied away from him as his ears twitched, pulling his own chord out to share it with you, explaining what each one meant. When he reached the last stone, it was a deep red, one that shined if light reflected on, “This one-It’s for you. My tìyawn.”

You reached for his hand and wrapped the chord twice around his wrist, “I am ready, to be mated.”

He let his fingers trace your palm, going over each line and scar, even tracing over the small callouses the tips of your finger had accumulated from training with your arrow. He was smiling so hard, cheeks hurting as he leaned over to pick up your own chord and wrap it around your wrist, it looped three times. “I want a huge ceremony, with a huge feast and lots of music and dancing.”

Your hand flew to your mouth as you tried to stop the laughter that bubbled at your throat, “I do not need such a big fuss over me, Ma’Jake.”

He brought you even closer to him, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he announced, “But I do, I want all of the Omaticaya clan to know I am mated to you. Forever you and me.”

Another burst of warmth fell over you, pressing a kiss to his lips before you moved to sit against him, your back pressed firmly to his chest as his arms wrapped around your frame, “Now tell me, what do the other beads represent?”

[cloudcountry]

Oh hey! I’d like a taro milk bubble tea (in the monstro lounge cup ofc) and stained glass cookies pls!

(~I did have a two ideas: a first date OR a cinderella-esque dance at a NRC ball :3 I trust the chef’s expertise so go wild!! CONGRATS ON 3K RAAAHHH)

CINDERELLA ESQUE DANCE.....MY EVERYTHING

an order of romantic fluff with floyd leech!

Every eye in the room turns your way when your name is announced into the beautifully decorated ballroom, and it makes you feel like you’re either going to throw up or pass out.

Professor Crewel was kind enough to design and create a set of formal wear for you, all accessories made just for your specific charms. He’d insisted you take it free of charge, knowing all too well the Headmage would not provide you with such a thing. All he asked was that you score high on your next test, to which you heartily agreed.

Now, as you walked down the steps, staring down at your feet so you wouldn’t trip and make a fool of yourself (and so you wouldn't have to meet the curious eyes of your classmates, wondering why you had shown up so late), you hope and pray that anything will get the attention off of you.

“Shrimpy!”

If anyone had looked away, Floyd’s running tackle into you brought their attention right back.

You both go crashing to the floor in a flurry of expensive fabrics, limbs flailing inelegantly. Floyd does you the great service of shielding your hand from the hard, polished floor with the back of his hand, crushing your done up face against the white collared shirt of his suit.

“You kept me waiting!” he pokes your forehead hard, voice whiny and so very loud.

“Sorry.” you say, voice muffled by his chest.

You don’t think he hears you at all.

“Hm, that doesn’t matter anymore. You’re going to be spending this dance with me!” he declares, effortlessly picking you right off the ground and back on your feet, a sly grin on his face, “So if any of these minnows try to get a dance with you, just tell ‘em no.”

You blink once. Twice.

“Floyd, you shouldn’t tackle people. Now your tie is crooked.” you say blandly, reaching out to straighten it yourself.

“Oh it’s always been like that.” he says flippantly, and you can’t help but hear the confused whispers so obviously directed at the two of you.

So much for not having attention on you tonight...

[arcanesea]

guardian angel

PAIRING: yoon jeonghan x reader GENRE: sick fic ((reader almost faints and tells the story to jh)) WC: 470 WARNING: mentions of food, death, and implications of eating disorder, one curse

"And as I was waiting for the pan to heat up, I suddenly feel this nauseating feeling like it was so bad that I don't know whether I want to throw up or pass out or cry," you ramble on, a stupid grin slapped on your face as if you didn't almost have a brush with death just minutes ago. "But I'm okay now!" you add, watching Jeonghan's concerned face.

"I think your definition of okay is fucked up," he responds, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Well," you shrug it off, "At least I didn't actually faint, you know, I never faint in my life, that's about as close as I will ever get to fainting."

Jeonghan stood from his seat, ruffling your hair before walking towards the kitchen. "Still, I don't think you're doing a great job at taking care of yourself. I wonder how did you survive all this year?"

"For starters, I have you," you said sheepishly. Jeonghan has been your guardian angel as long as you know him. It's just in his nature to take care of his closest people and you're lucky enough to be one of them.

And you're not negligent, no. It's just sometimes you overestimate yourself, like, thinking you could go one day without eating rice, or you could run with just 3 hours of sleep. Sometimes you find that it's fun to figure out the capabilities of your body, but sometimes you do those things because you feel... undeserving.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere," Jeonghan grins. He's not one to cook, but he can fry some nuggets for you to eat, even if you said you've already eaten. "You know that it's a problem, right?"

Do you?

"I won't be around all the time," Jeonghan threatened, looking at you. "Not that I want to leave you," he adds with an alarming tone. "But you can't keep on doing that."

You stay silent. it's not the first time Jeonghan has ever given you the "talk", yet, you feel somehow you're not going to hear the end of it. You know it's easier with him around. You're getting better and he scolded you less these days, so you just smiled at his words.

Jeonghan stopped in his tracks with a plate in his hand.

"Is that your way of saying, 'I understand?'" Jeonghan asks, before continuing to walk towards where you were sitting.

"I'm getting there," you answer. "Besides, I think I can hear you nag every time I miss a meal."

"As you should," Jeonghan replies with a smug smile. He handed you the plate with nuggets, rice, and cherry tomatoes he found in the door of your fridge. For now, he has to be satisfied with your answer. After all, he's not going anywhere, at least not in the near future.

a/n. this actually happened to me like a few weeks ago and i almost experienced it for the second time due to the overloading schedule pls pray for me

[lafleshlumpeater]

hi i’ve been trying to find someone perfect for my request cause tbh it’s one i’ve been thinking about for a while and i think your writing and style is absolutely amazing and idk i want you for my request. i understand you usually write fem readers but if you could please make like a gn!reader i would really really really appreciate it!! i was thinking a luke castellan x reader and everyone always jokes about you guys dating but you’ve never really had a crush on him. and then he suggests you guys just start fake dating just to make it better, and then you end up falling for him and just like yeah. fake dating to lovers yall please. thank you so much for even considering!!!

OMG. ANON. you flatter me too much, ilysm for this. i hope i did this justice and i'm so sorry for the long wait <3 (there will definitely be more than one part to this!!)

warnings: gn!reader (pls lmk if i accidentally used any gendered language so i can fix it), teasing, percabeth being 'that' couple- it's not really specified whether this is book!luke or disney!luke but for any future requests if you'd like a particular one don't be afraid to ask <3

luke castellan masterlist

“So,” Annabeth begins, clearing her throat, and just from the teasing cadence lilting her voice, you already know what she’s itching to comment on. You exhale, rolling your eyes and praying internally to every god in existence that you know of to spare you from this incessant battle. “You and Luke, training together.” She makes a pretence at nonchalance- you know her better than that.

“Yes, Annabeth,” you sigh as you take a sip of water. “Just like how practically everyone else in camp has also done. You included.” Excluding Percy, it was non-negotiable; Luke was the most experienced and skilled fighter at camp. Everyone was eager to learn a thing or two from him, and understandably so.

“Yeah, but, like- the chemistry.” The blonde counters, rubs her hands together deviously. “No-one else in camp has that with him.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with your boyfriend.” Percy; the main instigator of all of your friends, and even campers who you didn’t even know too well, encouraging the idea that there was something inexplicable going on between you and Luke Castellan. You couldn’t sympathise with the notion whatsoever- apparently, two people being of the same age and occasionally passing time together who also happen to be paired up with one another in most affairs (no doubt with the meddling of Chiron, which Luke himself seemed blissfully oblivious to), meant they were suddenly applicable for a relationship which goes beyond the boundaries of platonic.

You didn’t get it whatsoever.

“Speak of the devil,” Annabeth starts, the remnants of her scheming smirk blooming into something more genuine and pure at the sight of her boyfriend walking towards the pair of you. 

“I saw Luke just now.” The playful quip forming regarding the lack of greeting from him dies on your tongue. You couldn’t be dealing with this now- all you wanted was a productive day of training followed by a bitingly cold shower. Instead, you’re being verbally taunted- by your friends, no less- about how good of a match you are for the Hermes boy. It’s a painstakingly obvious reminder about how life never goes a demigod’s way.

The tall boy jabs a thumb vaguely behind his shoulder, his free arm sneaking around his girlfriend’s waist. Absently, she leans into him, the sickeningly sweet reaction automatic. “He was like, completely red in the cheeks. Blushing. And then he tells me the two of you were sparring just now?” His lips quirk into a grin, all teeth and mischief. “Very interesting.” You open your mouth again, with no particular retort in mind. “Oh no, but it’s all coincidental,” he continues, feigning a solemn tone. “Right. That’s my bad.”

Annabeth snorts at Percy’s antics as he holds his hands up as if in mock surrender when you swat at his shoulder. “We were sparring, Percy. Obviously he was going to be red in the face. Out of breath and all.”

He nods gravely, lips set in a straight line. You narrow your eyes, distrustful towards the mirth shimmering in his irises. “Out of breath from being so close to you.” He swoons as if imitating Luke, hands clasped together and batting his eyes up at an unknown entity- you correctly assume this imaginary being is supposedly you.

Before you can tell him off like you have oh-so-many-times in the past, he sobers up of his own accord, lips twitching from the effort of suppressing a well-humoured grin. His eyes flit to somewhere behind one of your shoulders. “Hi, Luke.”

You turn on your heel instantly. He’s standing in front of you, cheeks still tinted a delicate pink, a mere ghost of what Percy had sworn to, hair ruffling slightly in the breeze, the muted colour of his eyes a stark contrast to the startling neon of his camp t-shirt. You curse your friend to the high heavens, taking a mental note to throttle him later. “Hey.” 

He nods briefly to all parties, before redirecting his attention to you. “I forgot earlier. I’d like to talk to you about something.” He shifts slightly, repositioning himself so he looks less uncertain, back straightening and arms folded across his chest. “If you don’t mind.”

You glance behind you at the indiscreetly tittering couple, obviously amused at your expense. No matter how oblivious Luke may have been towards the magnitude of your mutual friends who were certain that the two of you were destined soulmates and it was just a matter of time and waiting, he wasn’t blind to the fact that the common belief was there. Especially now, with Percy and Annabeth whistling and hooting in a manner which was meant to be encouraging behind you. As if they didn’t take years to acknowledge that they had painfully blatant feelings for one another.

“No, yeah, we can talk,” you say casually. The two of you begin to walk, side by side, facing forward. For a few beats, there’s silence.

The quiet itself isn’t uncomfortable- the anticipation and tension of waiting for what he has to say, is.

“I want to say sorry,” Luke commences, simultaneously shattering the silence, previously only permeated by distant chatter and careless laughter. Fixing him with a befuddled frown, you rotate your head to look at him- he’s facing forward, hands are stationary in his pockets, side profile the only thing in your field of view. “I don’t know when or how, but for some reason everyone has the idea that I’m…” You watch him ponder for a moment or two, wondering how to phrase the predicament in a manner which isn’t too blunt. Dread climbs up your throat. “- romantically interested in you.”

Oh. So he isn’t as oblivious as you’d hoped.

“No, it’s all good.” You muster a polite smile, though you’re internally dying. Whether it’s from the fact that it’s being mentioned aloud, or him actually acknowledging it, or the way you can see two of your siblings brazenly ogling the interaction in your peripherals as you try to ignore them in vain, you’re clueless. “It’s not your fault… or anyone’s really.”

“I know,” he says, a tad quicker than you finish. He raises his eyebrows, suppressing a self-satisfied smirk directed in the distance. “But anyways, I think I have a solution.”

Your interest is piqued. Anything to stop the rumours that the two of you had kissed behind the Apollo cabin, to silence the snorts and innuendos thrown at you whenever Luke’s name was mentioned in your vicinity. “Really?”

He swivels to face you, halting the little stroll. You mimic his movements. “A possible solution. I mean, it would definitely work, but-.”

You tilt your head at him quizzically. “Then why is it only ‘possible’?”

He inhales. “It involves you. A lot. And you might not want to do this.”

“Do what?” Your impatience amplifies with Luke’s every ambiguous phrase. What is he thinking of?

He looks around, ensuring there’s no-one in earshot. “Date me.”

He says it so coolly, so quickly, you think you’ve heard him wrong. He must be talking about the weather, or about the arrival of a new camper, or-

Your eyes are fixed on him, jaw slack. “What?”

Eyes widening in understanding, he realises his mistake, backtracking quickly. “Not, like, dating-dating. Fake dating. Pretending to be in a relationship.” He lets it sink in for a second. “Everyone would shut up about how good we are for each other, and how we should start dating, because we actually would be. Or it would look like it, anyways. But it’s your choice.” He gauges your expression as you mull it over.

He has a point. Multiple, in fact. It’s not that you’re disgusted at the prospect of being paired with Luke- you’ve just… never considered it before, the thought foreign. The relationship between the both of you has always been friendly, borderline formal, even. So it would be nice to live your life without the unrelenting teasing and mocking from half the camp…

“Sure,” you say, attempting to mirror his casual demeanour. “I don’t mind.” His surprise directed at your compliance is evident; his eyebrows arch slightly.

He smiles at you, bemused, eyes reflecting the golden rays of sun beaming down from the summer sky. “Cool.”

An uncertain, electric thrill rushes through you. Nothing like this has ever happened before, and it’s so exhilarating already, and even more exciting. The pair of you shake on it- what’s the worst that could happen?

idk how to feel about this but i hope you like it<3

taglist: @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @explosiongamora @brutal-out-here @absolutely-existing @quickslvxrr @bibliophile-dendrophile

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[hopeluna]

𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 ⋆ ۪ — 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐵𝑂𝑌 𝐼𝑆 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐸 (𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆'𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏)

✘ Part of the writing event by @carolmunson ! You can find the prompts n dialogue here, pls feel free to join in and write your own version <3

✘ the scene: a romantic night-in at the trailer. 

✘ CW: eddie munsson x fem!reader, very much rom com vibes cause come on it's me, first time writing for eddie pray for me, was tryna do fluff but turned into hurt/comfort, mentions of financial insecurity, eddie being the best bf material out there. 1k

The trailer door creaks on it's hinges like it's going to fall off any moment. It hardly registers in Eddie's brain, pulling the door more forcefully open with a beaming grin to let you in.

He's practically vibrating from the pent up anticipation. It's been a few days since you both have properly spent any time with each other. Between you being busy with college and him playing to a steadily growing crowd at The Hideout, the past few days consisted only of short kisses and exchanging i love you's in passing.

Eddie didn't really wanna pester you much either. Even though he missed you these days like a starved man, the relationship was fairly new and blooming and he didn't have the heart to somehow accidentally mess it up right from the get go.

"What brings you to the freak's humble abode, my fair lady?"

He gives you a toothy grin when he sees you telling him to silently shut up. You weren't a huge fan of the 'freak' title. "I come with gifts!", you hold up the small pastel paper box like a medal.

Eddie lets out a low whistle, with a whisper of 'gimme', making animated grabby hands till you place the box delicately in his outstretched hands. He immediately digs in with hurried but careful hands, cautious to not damage the paper cause he knows you probably took hours to get it just right.

A soft smile pulls his lips up at the small pastries. It looks absolutely delectable. Whispy vanilla frosting coated all over the soft sponge, the scent of vanilla bean hitting his nose, little flecks of edible glitter and sprinkles all tied with a plump strawberry at the top.

"You made these?"

"Mhm! We did chocolate last week and red velvet the week before that, so I thought we could go for a classic vanil-"

Giggles fill the quiet space of the trailer, Eddie placing light, ticklish kisses all over your lips. His grin only stretches more when you shriek his name to let you go, "if you don't stop, we're gonna have a problem!"

"Oh yeah, sweetheart? And what is that problem?"

"I will-" you push Eddie away enough so that only your noses are touching "- revoke your kiss license." You let out a soft snort at your boyfriend's devastated expression.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would, baby."

Eddie's huffing away with a quiet 'meanie' as you shake your head fondly at him, nudging him silently to open the pastries. He carefully sets two out, putting the others in the freezer for Wayne when you come back from the kitchen with two chipped mugs. Eddie's heart falls a little at the thought of you maybe judging him for this.

"Eddie."

"Mhm?"

You roll your eyes with a smile, "don't just stand there, open the damn thing!" You nudge the poorly made cat themed mug in his hands- his favourite. You watch with wrung fingers as he practically balances more than half the dessert on the fork to shove in his mouth, leaving flecks of whipped cream and frosting on the corners of his mouth.

"It's so....sweet."

You wince without meaning to, "and you like that?"

Eddie lets out a amused laugh at your anxiety ridden face. "Baby, that's probably the second best damn thing i've tasted." He shines a gleaming smile on you at your own grin of accomplishment.

"What's the first?"

"You." Eddie's loud laugh fills the silence at your disgusted but flustered expression.

His face falters a little when you shove the throw pillow on the couch behind you to get comfortable. Eyes follow your hands as you tighten your grip on your own mug, the handle chipped away from wear. Eddie's gaze flits around the trailer- the old video player, the less than impressive flooring, the comfy but worn out looking blanket that you've draped over yourself. It's definitely not the white picket fenced dream most want. He feels comfortable here but do you? Maybe you sometimes wished to hang out somewhere els-

"Hey."

Eddie snaps his gaze over to you, expression nervous and concerned. "Um- yeah." Clearing his throat, he shifts a little forward to pick his notebook from the table, mindlessly going through it in an effort to seem busy.

"I-uh, i ran out of like, nice cups,-" he briefly gestures to the one in your hand, "-is that okay?"

He would've found your furrowed, confused expression cute if it wasn't for the small ball of anxiety etched in his throat. "Yeah- i mean, of course it's okay." You look back at the cup in your hand, then to him and back at the cup again. "Are you okay?"

The curls on his head seem to bounce a bit as he nods frantically, twisting the cover of the notebook in his hand "it's just, you know, that thing isn't the nicest " he gestures vaguely with his hand around you, "i mean-none of this is-"

"Eddie."

"The place isn't the most romant-"

"Eddie." His eyes go from looking around in the trailer to you, you who inched closer to him without him realizing. "I like- I love the trailer."

"But-"

"No, don't be like that. That's not even true. Just because it's not a house with a big front yard and white roofs doesn't mean it's nothing. It's home." You smile as Eddie's eyes widen almost unnoticeably as you cup his face in your hands.

"It's home because it has you in it. And I wouldn't change that for anything."

A breathy chuckle escapes you, Eddie now burying his face in your chest with arms snaked around your waist firmly. His voice is muffled against your shirt that you have to strain to hear what he says, "sometimes, I feel like you being my girlfriend is a very detailed fever dream."

You feel his smile against you as you press a kiss on the top of his head. The silence stretches for a while before you break it, fingers making mindless circles on his back.

"I also come here for the trailer park cats."

The gasp Eddie lets out, finally releasing you from his hold, makes it hard for you to not burst out ugly laughing.

"You would choose the cats over me?!"

"Maybe."

© hopeluna. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work in this or any other site. Do not steal or modify my ideas/concepts either.

[purerae]

teehee first ask thing :3c

i work at a movie theater and it sucks, literally the only thing that keeps me going is pretending someone going to see movies just to interact with me. tbh whenever i scan someone ticket and they’re cute, i’ll try to be at their theater whenever the movie end just to tell them “have a nice day!”

do what you'll want with this, i just wanna share my delusions ^^

hihi omg this is so cute, i wrote a little something about it !!

(i wrote this at like four am on a googles doc and didn’t proof read — pls forgive me for the kinda lame writing ;;;)

You’re tired. Extremely tired. If you got a coin for how many times somebody had asked you a stupid question — you’d be able to quit your job by now.

The smell of popcorn and off brand candy lingers in the air; you feel sick to your stomach as you look at the clock. 3 more hours of your shift left, god, you close your eyes for a solid minute — imagining yourself in your nice warm bed away from all the noise, smell and buzzing food machines.

Fortunately, it seems as the flurry amount of people had dispersed after the screenings of the new trending movie had stopped at a certain time. You hum a sigh under your breath, the theater was almost empty, You prayed to whatever was listening to you that a group of teenagers wouldn’t just burst in and charge towards your counter.

You decide to pass off some time by restocking the candy shelves by your desk, grimacing at the overpriced labels when you suddenly hear a small cough.

Looking up, you notice a very familiar customer beaming at you with a big smile. Their eyes light up, and you can't help but change your tired expression to one that matches theirs.

“Hey! How’s your shift going Y/N?” The man smiles, fidgeting with his hands as he eagerly looks at you.

“Good as a shift can get Matteo, how’s your day going? This is the third time you came this week — Must’ really like movies.. new world record huh?”

You respond back, with no malice in your tone, exchanging banter with your favourite customer. He comes so often to the theatre, that you guys are already on first name basis.

Honestly, the only reason he was your favourite customer was because of how how nice and pleasant he was to chat too.

Matteo would arrive with a warm smile, always making a beeline for whichever counter you were working at. You guys would chat about the latest releases, obscure indie films, and laugh over the messiness of children running around.

You’d remember the first time he came into the movies with his friends, his eyes would linger on you every now and again whilst ordering — you never really paid any mind to it.

Matteo raises his eyebrows as you question him. “…Really like movies?” A pause between the two of you as you nod awkwardly, before his eyes widen in realisation.

“Oh yeah— yeah! I love movies hahaha…! Movies are great.. awesome, spectacular, so fun!!” He says laughing, wiping his eyebrow and grinning extremely wide.

Rapidly changing the subject, Matteo places one of his arms on the counter. “The movie you recommended to me two days ago was so funny! I loved it, anything new for me today?”

To be frank, you could not recall what movie you told him to watch, and you doubt you even watched it yourself! However, seeing the gleam in his face — you didn’t have the heart to tell him so.

You shift your head slightly to see behind Matteos head, the small list of movies that were going to play soon. Selecting the most cool sounding one, you look back at him.

“There’s a movie called ‘Argan Gate’ that came out recently in theatre 3?”

His smile becomes even more radiant (which you didn’t know could be possible) as he looks through his bag, “Sounds perfect! I’ll take a ticket!”

Matteo hands you his money, your fingers brushed slightly, The man freezes as he just stares at your hands for a solid few seconds before zoning back in with flushed cheeks.

“…I’ll tell you how the movie was after, see you at your next shift?” He says with a flustered look. You mutter a small okay with a wave as he walks to the movie screening.

You wonder for a second on how he’d know when your next shift is, and why he watches every single thing you recommend him. Pausing as you stare at his back with a narrowed gaze before you shrug your shoulders, going back to restocking the shelves

‘He must just really really love movies.’

[that-was-anticlimactic]

holy trash i just officially submitted my edtpa portfolio for evaluation frick frick frick i am so nervous like i think it’ll be fine and everyone is telling me it’ll be fine but i had my “what if the evaluators can’t hear everyone in the video well enough and fail me for that” breakdown i provided a transcript but it couldn’t be more than two pages and mine was. on the fourth page so i had to cut two pages✌🏻

[kiatheinsomniac]

hi kiaa!! i hope youre doing good and school is going good too :) dont overwork yourself pls girl 😩❤️

since requests are open i figured id come and request something!! how would the assassins (altair, ezio, connor, arno, and jacob) react to the reader being extremely sick? how would they take care of the reader? would they be scared of catching the sickness? etc etc. ❤️

☾ ⋆ ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: yeee, uni's been fine! i'm done until september now so all I really have to do is pray I've passed all my modules (looking at you, spanish and latin american culture and italian history) and do my summer reading for next year's modules <3 and i make sure to never overwork myself on my blog! i really like what i do here anyway so i can manage lots of writing hehe 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: altaïr, ezio, connor, arno, jacob 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight angst in Jacob's part

｡･:*˚:✧｡ altaïr ibn-la'ahad

♡ Altaïr takes a break from his work to look after you. When he knows you'll do alright on your own for a while, he'll go out to train for a few hours to stay in shape but that and cooking meals for you are the only times he'll be leaving your side.

♡ he'll do everything he can to keep your temperature normal whether it's tenderly wiping down your body with a cool, damp cloth while another is folded over your forehead or he's having to bundle you up with blankets while he spoon feeds you, he'll stay by your side to keep you company and will be reading books while you rest.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ezio auditore

♡ Ezio brings in whatever doctors he can find to look after you but he'll be hovering around in the meantime to make sure they're treating you well and being careful (he'll honestly treat you like you're made of glass).

♡ he'll stay by your side for as long as possible and even if he has to leave you in Claudia's or a doctor's care for the day, he's in the kitchen in the evening cooking meals that Maria taught him to make and then sitting on the edge of your bed to feed them to you while he asks how you've been and he tells you about his day.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ratonhnaké:ton | connor kenway

♡ Ratonhnhaké:ton will treat you himself for as much is in his ability to before he goes into town to call out a doctor to see you. He'll diligently follow any perscriptions that you're given and he'll put almost everything on hold to look after you. He grew up without a father, he lost his mother and his whole village - he's not going to lose you too.

♡ he'll make sure you get enough fresh air, enough water, enough to eat. He'll be making herbal concoctions for you to help you heal faster. He just wants to see you better again.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ arno dorian

♡ he calls in the best doctors he can right away. He doesn't want to leave your side and he'll take some time away from the brotherhood is he has to. He'll cook for you, light meals like soups or stews that are easier for you to eat in your current state.

♡ he'll read to you but he keeps his distance a little. He doesn't want the both of you to get sick because then he won't be able to look after you.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ jacob frye

♡ Jacob's never really been good at the caretaker role. Even when he was younger and Evie was ill, their father was the one to look after her while he was just left to his own devices. Jacob would always notice that he didn't receive the same level of emotional care from his father when he fell ill though.

♡ so, he calls in a doctor/nurse and follows all the instructions they give him to look after you. He doesn't care if he gets ill too, he'll cuddle with you and chat with you and he'll even sing quietly to you while cooling your forehead with a damp cloth or bundling you up in blankets. He'll basically care for you in every way he's advised and then in every way he noticed Evie got but he didn't from their father but he always wanted. He doesn't want you to feel the way he did.

☾ ⋆ ﾟlike my work? why not: ∘ buy me a coffee? ∘ commission me? ∘ join my taglist ∘ consider following/reblogging

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[jazminrhode1]

Hey! Just wanted to say 1. i love ur writing, it gives me so much comfort and happy chemicals :D and 2. could you do one with reader being besties with the triplets and if you want, just some ideas that popped in my head- chris being chaotic and shaking soda, opening it and getting in readers eye thus more chaos insuing and/or "tell me im pretty >:(" "you'e pretty fucking annoying". pls don't feel obligated to do so!! <3

You Don't Like Dr Pepper? Sturniolo Triplets x Reader One Shot

Summary: You join the triplets for a soda tasting video.

Word Count: 804 words

Author's note: I literally had no ideas for this one, I'm so sorry! I hope this is okay ❤️

Chris was in a mood. It was 2am and you just wanted to go to bed. But, the boys were filming a video and they claimed that they needed your help.

“Today we’re going to see if we can tell which soda is which,” Nick started the video.

They had covered the cans in duct tape but, under the light, you could still see the colours coming through. Chris had initially thought it was a good idea but, his enthusiasm was waning.

“So we just drink it and say what we think it is?” you asked, less than interested.

“Yes,” Nick said with an eye roll, “this is what I told you Chris, no one wants to see us drink soda.”

You exchanged a look with Matt, he was trying his best not to laugh as he took a sip. “I think it’s Sprite,” Matt said. Nick was done.

“I told you before that there is no clear fucking liquid because that would defeat the fucking point. Do you ever fucking listen?” Nick screamed.

You took Matt by the shoulders and positioned him in front of you to hide yourself from Nick’s wrath. “I forgot,” Matt said as you stifled a laugh in his shoulder blade.

“I think it’s Coke,” Chris said. “I agree,” you replied.

Nick took the lead and placed the drinks by the labels on the table. He didn’t agree with half of the choices but, he wanted it to be over so, he didn’t contest.

Nick passed you one of the cans after he took as sip and said, “Tell me this isn’t Pepsi,”

You took a sip and ran to spit it out in the sink. “This is 100% Dr Pepper,” you said.

Nick’s clapped a hand over his mouth. He was being dramatic and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you not like Dr Pepper?” he asked.

“No,” you said - this was something he should know. Chris gasped, Matt’s mouth hung open. “How did you not know that?” you asked.

“You’re crazy,” Nick said as you rolled your eyes. “Are we going with Dr Pepper?” he asked his bothers.

Chris nodded, Matt shrugged. They were getting tired and their energy was fading.

As made your way through the drinks, convinced that they were all wrong, you prayed that the sugar would give you an ounce of energy but, it wasn’t working.

You looked over at Chris and he looked guilty. You didn’t know what he was about to pull out of his hat but, you didn’t want any part of it.

“Are we done?” you asked. Nick was looking around, you could see his temper rising. “Where the fuck is the last can?” he asked.

Chris put the can on the table and slid it over to Nick. “Final can,” he announced to the camera before he opened it. The contents shot out like a burst pipe. It was on the floor, on the ceiling, on the table, on the cabinets, on the walls and all over you.

“Chris!” Nick said. It was enough for Chris to take off running but, Nick grabbed the back of his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.

“Who gave him that?” you asked Nick and Matt. Matt was laughing, handing you a tea towel. Nick’s whacked Chris on the top of his head. “Don’t do shit like that,” he warned.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh. He was pretty fucking proud of himself until he saw Matt checking your eye.

His face dropped, “What happened?” “You got it in her eye, you dumb fucking bitch,” Matt said.

“It’s fine,” you assured Chris but, he felt guilty none the less.

“Are we done?” Nick asked. Before anyone could respond. “We’re done,” he decided.

He stalked around the table trying not to slip. “You look like shit,” Chris joked, nudging your arm.

“This is your fault,” you said, twisting the tea towel and whipping him with it. “Ouch!” he screeched.

You felt sticky and you felt gross. You just wanted to go home and get in the shower asap.

Chris stuck his tongue out jokingly and you pinched it between your fingers. “Hey,” Chris said, “let go.”

“Tell me I’m pretty,” you said jokingly, you could only picture how hideous you looked. You regretted it as soon as you said it. He was not in the mood to play nice, he was in the mood to act like a 5-year-old. His eyes widened with excitement as he took the bait.

“Pretty fucking annoying,” he said before you let go of his tongue and he burst into laughter. A cackle that was at times endearing but, at this moment, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Twelve

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes), suggestive word count: 3.6k a/n: angst incoming y'all! pls don't kill me.

pov: layla

I woke up to the sun beaming through the curtains making me pull the covers over my face to shield my eyes from the bright light. It took me a moment to register where I was, the unfamiliar surroundings throwing me off. I moved the strands of hair that were stuck to my face as I pulled the covers off of my head again. The cold air nipped at my skin and I shimmied further down the covers only to realise something was holding me in place.

I lifted up the covers to see an arm slung across my torso and I turned my head to look behind me, Matt completely passed out behind me. His hair was a mess on top of his head and his mouth hung open as the right side of his face was smushed against the pillow. I turned my head back so it lined up with the rest of my body, my right arm slightly numb from laying on it.

I reached my left arm forward carefully, tapping on Matt's phone to check the time. It was 6 am and school didn't start for another hour and a half so I decided I wouldn't get up yet. I unplugged Matt's phone after noticing it was fully charged and I quickly plugged my own in, moving slowly so as to not wake him up.

I slid my arm back under the covers, the cold air making my hair stand up and goosebumps covered my body. I shifted my right arm from under me but I accidentally slid backwards into the small dip in the bed where Matt was lying, my back falling against his chest. I felt him shift behind me before he wrapped his arm further around me, pulling me closer to him.

My breath hitched in my throat when his waist connected with my ass and the imprint of his dick was pressed against me. I held my breath, praying that he wouldn't wake up and I could get out of this position before he realised what he was doing. I lay frozen for a moment, my breathing shallow as I looked around the room trying to think of the best way to escape.

I heard him hum lowly from behind me and I quickly turned my head in panic only to let out a breath of relief when I noticed he was still dead asleep. His hips shifted against me again and I pursed my lips, heat travelling to my cheeks. I was sure I looked as red as a tomato and I ignored the fire igniting in my stomach, knowing he was asleep and had no idea what he was doing.

His arm shifted up, laying directly beneath my boobs and I bit my lip. Part of me wished he was awake and was doing this on purpose but since I knew that he wasn't, I pushed his arm back down slightly. He once again shifted his hips against me before letting out a quiet groan and I let out a heavy breath, refusing to let my mind travel to dirty thoughts that were threatening to invade my brain.

I heard footsteps travel up the stairs and in a panic, I pulled the covers back up over my body to hide the fact he was practically wrapped around me. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep when I heard a quiet knock on the door before the door opened. I kept my eyes closed, not daring to check who it was as they walked into the room. After a few moments, I heard the door close again as footsteps travelled down the stairs again.

I peeked my eyes open, letting out a sigh of relief when I realised no one was in the room again and Matt's grip around me tightened. I let out a heavy breath, realising that I wouldn't get out of this position without waking him up. I turned my head to look at him again before whispering, "Matthew."

"Hmm," he hummed back and I used my left hand to tap his arm.

"Matthew, wake up," I said a little louder and he shifted against me once again. I pursed my lips, heat travelling between my legs as I now felt his morning wood pressed against me, "Pretty boy, get up."

"Nuh-uh," he mumbled, his eyes still clamped shut.

"Matt," I tapped his arm once again, "You've trapped me in."

"Hm?" he hummed and I sighed, throwing my head back onto the pillow. I waited a few moments before I felt him shift behind me again. I used that opportunity to quickly lift up his arm and slide off the bed. I looked back once I stood up to see he had fallen back asleep.

I shook my head, before creeping to the door, swinging it open before I walked down the hallway. I saw a door open down the hallway and I peeped around the corner, sighing in relief once I realised it was the bathroom. I flicked the light on, closing the door behind me before locking it.

I peed as fast as possible, the cold air making me shiver with my minimal clothing on. I flushed the toilet, washing my hands with warm water to attempt to heat myself up a little bit. I opened the door before I let out a small yelp when I noticed someone stood in front of me.

"Please tell me you have pants on," Nick spoke tiredly and I let my mouth hang open before I nodded.

I lifted up the shirt to show him I had shorts on before saying, "They're Allie's. They were the only shorts Matt said he had for me to sleep in."

"Could've asked me for shorts. At least they would cover your ass," he chuckled and I pulled the shirt down over my ass as I walked past him.

"Good thing I have a long-ass shirt on," I called quietly as I walked back down the hallway, hearing him chuckle to himself before closing the bathroom door behind him. I quickly slipped back into Matt's room, spinning around and closing the door quietly.

"Where did you go?" I heard Matt mumbled from the bed and I turned around to see he was tiredly sitting up against the headboard.

"Bathroom," I answered, goosebumps covering my skin, "What time do you guys leave for school?"

"Like quarter past seven. It only takes five minutes to get there," he explained before a yawn escaped his mouth and I nodded, standing awkwardly beside the door, "You good?"

"Uh yeah. Just cold," I answered honestly and he looked at me in amusement before flipping up the corner of the covers, patting the spot next to him.

"Good thing we don't have to leave for another hour," he smirked and I rolled my eyes, trudging back over to the bed and placing myself next to him. I pulled the covers over my cold body, sliding further down the bed to cover myself fully.

"Nick said he had shorts I could've worn last night," I told him as I looked up at him and he just stared down at me.

"Those ones are fine," he shrugged and I squinted my eyes at him.

"My ass is out, Matthew," I deadpanned and he smirked down at me.

"Like I said, they're fine," he pursed his lips, attempting to hide his smile and I shook my head.

"Maybe if you gave me better-fitting shorts you wouldn't have been grinding on my ass before you woke up," I called him out, biting my lip to suppress my giggle and his eyes went wide.

"What?" he sat up further and I let a small chuckle escape my lips, "Are you fucking with me?"

I shook my head, sliding the covers up to hide the smile on my lips as I mumbled, "Nope."

"Oh my fucking god," he mumbled, placing his head in his hands out of embarrassment and I smiled up at him.

"Hey," I grabbed his wrist and pushed one of his hands away from his face, "It's fine. I don't mind."

"I'm sorry," he gave me an apologetic smile and I smiled.

"Why? Nothing to apologise for," I shrugged as I smirked at him. I pulled my arm back under the covers again before mumbling, "Fuck it's cold in your house."

"Come here," he held out his right arm, creating a space for me to lay beside him. I hesitated, looking up at him before deciding I'd rather be feeling his warmth than freezing my tits off right now.

I shimmied closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I didn't know where to place my right hand and made it obvious by shifting it around awkwardly. He grabbed my hand, placing it on his torso and I bit my lip, the close proximity feeling so unfamiliar to me.

"You're really hot," I mumbled and he chuckled, making me look up at him, "Not like that, jackass."

"Thanks, pretty girl," he reached his hand up, ruffling my hair lightly and I swatted it away.

"What time are you gonna get up?" I asked, resuming my hand back to his stomach and he placed his hand on my back.

"I don't get up till like six forty-five," he told me and I nodded, a comfortable silence falling between us. The light of the sun shone through the curtains that were slightly open and the birds chirping outside brought me a sense of peace.

"I have to leave at six forty-five in order to get to school on time," I told him and he hummed.

"I told you I can pick you up," he answered and I started playing with the lint on his wife-beater.

"I don't wanna bother you guys," I mumbled as I shifted my head up higher to a more comfortable position, feeling content from his body heat keeping me warm.

"You're never a bother," he said quietly before his thumb moved in circles on my back, "I think Nick and Chris are really coming around."

"Mia's not," I stated the obvious and he fell silent for a moment, causing me to look up at him, "I like Allie though and Nate seems cool."

"Mia's just Mia. She'll come around eventually," he shrugged, not seeming confident in his words and I chewed on my lip once again. He looked down at me, reaching his left hand around from behind his head and pulled my lip out of my teeth.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked once his hand pulled away from my lip.

"Because I don't want you to make yourself bleed again," he answered and I hummed, leaning my head back on his shoulder. There was a knock on the door and Matt called, "What?"

The door swung open to reveal his mother who was dressed and ready for the day. I pulled away from Matt but he pulled me back onto him as Mary-Lou spoke, "Just checking you're awake. Good morning, Layla."

"Morning," I smiled at her awkwardly and I left my hand off of Matt's stomach as to not make it more awkward.

"I'm going to work. Don't be late to school," she said grabbing the door handle, "Love you."

"Love you too, Mom. See you later!" Matt called as she closed the door and I pursed my lips looking up at him, "What?"

"That was so awkward," I frowned and he smiled down at me.

"No, it wasn't. My mom doesn't care," he shrugged, my head bobbing with his shoulder and I rolled my eyes with a sigh, "If she did she would've said something. It's fine, Layls."

"You're parents seem nice," I mumbled, placing my arm back over his stomach, now becoming more comfortable being this close to him. Dare I say, I enjoyed it.

"Yeah, they're pretty cool. They work a lot but I know it's for our benefit. Nothing I can complain about," he answered quietly and I hummed before I heard a phone alarm go off down the hallway, "Time to get ready."

"Who's alarm was that?" I asked as I pulled away from him, the loss of contact making me feel heavy.

"Chris's. He wakes up 30 minutes before we leave," he explained and I nodded, sliding off of the bed. The cold air once again nipped at my skin as I walked over to my clothes that were in a pile on the floor. I reached down, picking up my pants and shirt before I turned around to see Matt sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"What?" I asked as I threw my clothes on the bed beside him and he smirked at me before he shook his head.

"You just look pretty," he answered quietly and I bit the inside of my cheek, running a hand through my hair.

"I guess now you've seen me when I first wake up in the morning," I responded sarcastically, thinking back to our conversation at Down's when he took the photo of me.

"And I was right," he answered, standing up from the bed. He stretched his arms behind his head, his shirt riding up to reveal the lightning bolt tattoos once again. I quickly looked away, walked over to the bedside table and checked my phone, "I'm gonna go have a shower. You can grab breakfast if you want. I'm sure Nick's already in the kitchen so he can show you where everything is."

With that, he walked out of the bedroom and I heard the bathroom door close and the shower started seconds after. I quickly changed into my jeans before sliding on my shoes. I left Matt's shirt on, the heater now being on so it wasn't cold enough to wear my long-sleeved shirt.

I exited the room, leaving my phone on charge as I walked down to the kitchen. As Matt said, Nick was sitting on barstools behind the island eating cereal.

"Nice to see you with pants on again," Nick joked and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"I had shorts on," I defended and he hummed locking his phone and placing it on the counter in front of him.

"You want anything for breakfast?" he asked, scooping more cereal into his mouth. I heard footsteps trail down the stairs before Chris walked past me without a word, going directly to the fridge and pulling out a Pepsi, immediately downing it. He only wore sweatpants and no shirt making me realise he didn't have any tattoos.

"Is that Matt's?" he asked while pointing to the shirt I was wearing, his voice raspy letting me know he had just woken up as well as his hair pointing in different directions.

"Uh," I looked down at the shirt before looking up at him, "Yeah."

"Weird," he mumbled before spinning around and grabbing himself a bowl, "You want cereal?"

"Sure," I shrugged, feeling awkward being left alone with Nick and Chris without the backup of Matt or Allie. I still didn't know if they liked me or maybe they were just pretending for Matt's sake and it made me feel out of place in their home.

He grabbed another bowl for me, pouring the Froot Loops into both bowls before grabbing milk and filling the bowl up. He slid the bowls across the island before grabbing two spoons and rounding the counter. He sat to the right of Nick and I gave him a thankful smile before sitting on Nick's left.

"Nick!" I heard Matt call from the top of the stairs before his heavy footsteps trailed down the stairs, "Where is my grey shirt?"

"Why the fuck would I know?" Nick responded and I lifted my head up from the bowl, looking past Nick to see Matt standing at the bottom of the stairs in nothing but his jeans. His hair was wet and I noticed he decided not to shave again, the scruff on his face making him look even hotter. I looked him up and down, his eyes not leaving Nick in annoyance as I scanned him.

"Because you did the laundry last," Matt answered like it was obvious and Nick groaned, turning around to look at him.

"Then look in the fucking dryer, Matt. I don't keep track of everyone's clothes and their whereabouts," Nick answered, his tone short and I assumed it was because it was early in the morning. Matt rolled his eyes, running back up the stairs and my eyes trailed his movements before he was out of sight.

"You are not subtle, Layls," Chris spoke with a smirk and I turned my attention to him.

"What?" I asked, pure confusion on my face and he chuckled to himself.

"You just looked at him like you're gonna eat him whole," Chris said matter-of-factly and I bit my lip looking down at my bowl before taking another scoop into my mouth.

"I did not," I grumbled, quickly finishing the rest of my cereal. I stood up, placing my bowl in the sink before I turned to face them, "I'm gonna go finish getting ready."

"I'm sure that's what you're gonna do," Chris answered teasingly as I made my way to the stairs, throwing up a middle finger as I trudged up the stairs. I heard him chuckle behind me as I stopped at Matt's door.

I knocked on the door, hearing a quiet 'come in' before I opened the door. He was now dressed fully in the grey shirt he was looking for, tying his laces on his white air forces.

"It's supposed to be snowing today," he spoke as I walked towards my bag. He stood up, opening his curtains to reveal that it was already snowing.

"Fuck," I mumbled, picking up my long sleeve shirt, realising that I would be freezing since I just had my long sleeve shirt and leather jacket.

"You want a hoodie?" he asked and I turned to look at him, "I don't want you to get hypothermia in just a shirt and jacket."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly and he nodded, walking over to his wardrobe and pulling out a black lyrical lemonade hoodie. He threw it to me, catching me by surprise and I dropped it onto the floor, giving him an unimpressed look, "You're the athlete here. Give me a warning next time."

"Sorry," he snickered as he grabbed his letterman jacket, sliding it on, "I'm gonna go eat and I'll wait downstairs."

"Okay," I gave him a nod as he exited the room, closing the door behind him again. I quickly slid off his shirt, throwing it on his bed before I slid on my own long-sleeve shirt. I slipped on his hoodie and I was glad he wore oversized things a lot because if it was a size smaller, it would be too tight for my liking.

I took my phone off charge, sliding it into the pocket of my jeans before sliding on my leather jacket and picking my bag up off the floor. I walked over to the full-body mirror, seeing that my hair was a mess. I sighed, throwing it into a high ponytail to keep it out of my face.

I grabbed my eyeliner out of my bag, quickly scribbling it onto my eyes and smudging it with my finger. I then looked around for my mascara, only to realise I forgot to put it in my bag yesterday. I groaned, deciding I'd have to go without it and deal with the mascaras left over from the day before.

+++

We arrived at school at 7:20 am, giving us 10 minutes to do nothing while we waited for our first classes of the day. Nate and Allie pulled into the parking space next to us moments after we arrived and I slid the door open, jumping out quickly.

"Hey!" Allie said excitedly and I gave her a smile, pulling out my cigarettes and lighting the end of one of them. I walked towards the back of the car so I didn't make the minivan smell like smoke, "Is that Matt's hoodie?"

"Yeah. I stayed there last night and I didn't have a hoodie with me," I explained and she hummed, adjusting her own puffer jacket with a grin on her lips.

"I'm freezing my ass off. I'll see you inside," she said quickly before bolting towards the school. The snow fell on my face and I slid my hood on, the scent of Matt's cologne hitting me when I adjusted the hoodie.

"You coming in?" Chris asked as he began walking backwards and I nodded.

"Gonna finish this first," I answered holding up the cigarette in my hand before he nodded, spinning around. His brothers followed behind and Nate gave me a nod before following after them. I quickly finished my cigarette, not wanting to be out in the snow longer than I needed to.

I stomped it into the ground before making my way inside the school. I walked down the hall, seeing a small crowd of people around the lockers and I frowned. I saw Matt, Chris, Nick, Nate and Allie all standing in a line looking towards where my locker was.

"What's going on?" I asked as I walked up behind them and Allie quickly spun around.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Come with me," she spoke so quickly I barely registered her words making me frown.

"What?" I looked at her suspiciously and Matt turned around. I used that as an opportunity to slide past him and see what they were all looking at. My jaw dropped when I looked at my locker, all eyes turning to me as I stood frozen.

"Who did that?" Nate said quietly and my eyebrows furrowed, letting out a heavy breath.

"I have an idea," Nick grumbled from beside me and I looked around the hall, everyone looking at me with either pity or giggling at my humility.

"Layls," Matt placed his hand on my shoulder softly, "We'll get rid of it."

I sighed, pushing through everyone as I speed-walked down the hallway and shoved my way into the bathroom. I quickly closed the stall door behind me, sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet as I placed my head in my hands. My mind flashed to the writing on the locker, my chest tightening from the pain of the words hatefully written in black Sharpie.

Slut. Ran through. Not even your own mother wants you.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @sturniolowhore @dsturniolo @chrisstankyleg @lov3bug @pinklittleflower @thatcrazybitch-69

[cravingcoldoreocake123]

Eternal garden

TW: Reader’s call sign is Nova, mentions of death, gun violence, and really sad shit 😟 (ooc ghost, maybe?)

For all my broken heart girlies, ilysm.

(also this my first time writing something related to cod, pls lmk what you think if u can! Enjoy! <3)

It happened in a split second, right before his frightened eyes.

the piercing sound of a single bullet flying right by him missing him, but it was all too late as he aimed his own gun at the sniper on the roof, as it has already penetrated her delicate skin.

Nova was his reason to keep going, he adored her more than anyone, vowed to protect her life for eternity even if that meant he could lose his.

He rushed to hold her fragile frame in his arms as a single tear fell from her eye down to the mask covering her soft features. Her eyes, in Simon’s world at least, were clouds for even when they fill with sorrow and drown the land, they paint the sky with unimaginable beauty.

Nova always feared this day would come, he’d always hold her so tight as she cried and burrowed her face so deep into his chest she could smell his scent for hours after. She’d sob for so long and he’d never get annoyed or bored with her, he was simply satisfied with the fact he was there for her, sometimes they’d fuck it out, and sometimes they wouldn’t, it all depended on his ‘beauty’, as he called her.

“I would rather have my bones crushed one by one, than see a single tear drop from your beautiful eyes, for your body is repairable, but your heart isn’t, my life.” He would say.

He was frightened to hold her that she’s pure, heavenly and unreachable for his sinned hands.  “It hurts, Simon.” She cooed out softly, barely being able to speak.

And at that very moment, he felt his heart break into a million pieces as he could not take her pain away all to himself, he’d never be able to forgive himself for being so late and far enough form the bullet to not pierce his chest instead of hers.

“Johnny! Call for evac! Nova has been shot!”

Simon was a brave, strong man. He never cried for animals that died in movies or for children that passed from cancer. Hell, not even for his soldiers that fought beside him in war. But he felt his eyes water as blood started draining from her beautiful face.

 “Don’t you dare close your eyes now, love. That’s an order!”

She smiled weakly as she held her cold hand against his cheek.

“Still bossy even in death, I see.”

“Don’t. Don’t let that word out of your mouth again, you hear me? You are not dying.”

Johnny rushed to his side taking in the sight before him; Simon crouched down on his knees holding what once was so cheerful and full of life, become tainted with blood and face painted of yellow.

“I called for evac but we are far from reach, Ghost, said they’ll be here in an hour.”

Simon Riley then prayed. He closed his teary eyes and prayed so hard to a god he didn’t know if he believed in, to save his beloved.

“You can do it, darling, I know you can. You have been through worse, I believe in you strong girl.” He babbled on and on about how you were stronger than a bullet, but he didn’t know if he was comforting you or himself. “My sweet girl.”

Johnny always suspected there was something between the lieutenant and his sergeant, but he was still a bit surprised at Simon’s affection and emotions.

They were inseparable back at base, even in missions, Simon always made sure Nova was right by him. Sometimes Soap and Gaz would make fun of their lieutenant as he always was looked out for her, made sure there was enough food left for her, pulled back her chair when she went to sit and scared off soldiers that bothered her, but he’d always deny their allegations and tell them to “shut it”, but they all knew he was just frightened and believed he was undeserving of any form of love, let alone yours.

He was smitten ever since the day you arrived, and if he was blinded by the moment he laid his eyes on you, his soul would not grieve, for in that very instance, it truly gazed upon perfection.

To say that he was scared was an understatement. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hand or even dare to look away from her face, feeling as if she’d slip away if he did.

“Do you remember what we talked about before this mission? How we’d retire, get a cabin somewhere far in the woods, with a big dog? Hm?”

she stayed still for a minute before chuckling faintly. “And two cats.”

He laughed, genuinely laughed at her response, she was always cheerful and full of hope even in the worse of situations. “And two cats.” He repeated.

“You promised we’d name the dog Fluffy, and that he’d be a golden retriever. You never liked cats much though.”

“We can get as many cats and dogs as you want my love, just keep those pretty eyes open for me, yeah? Johnny is here for you too.”

Ghost reached for her other hand and put in on top of Soap’s.

Johnny tried his best to not break down in front of his dying friend. They were always the trouble makers back at the base. Clowns, as Captain Price labeled the pair. They would always pull the silliest pranks on their teammates, they once poured a whole tub of salt into Gaz’s coffee, and cut holes in a few shirts of ghost’s after they both finished watching Mean Girls together, but Johnny got a taste of his own medicine once when his partner in crime turned against him and put neon green hair dye in his conditioner, and let’s just say that that did not end well as he gained a new look and an eye infection.

“They’re almost here, Nova, you’re gonna be back on your feet in no time, and we’ll pull even more pranks back in base, we can even get captain Price this time! We can sew a unicorn horn in the middle of his hat, like we said we would. How does that sound?” He frantically said.

Silence.

Dreaded silence was all that was heard before both her hands dropped to the ground beside her limp body. She was unresponsive.

Johnny couldn’t hold his tears back anymore and let them fall freely on her stomach as he clung so tightly to the corpse of his best friend.

Simon was crushed, to say the very least. He kept his warm hands on her beautiful face, and even in death’s grip she looked stunning, her face beamed underneath the setting sun, and her chapped lips curled up into a soft smile, and if it wasn’t for the blood on her clothes, you’d think she was in deep sleep.

He couldn’t bring himself to let go of her, even after evacuation arrived at scene, including captain price, Gaz and König. They all had to pry him off of her so that they could put her body on the carrier, and to the helicopter. That was the first and last time they had ever seen Ghost break down, so miserable and helpless.

Simon never once forgot about Nova, or her cheerful smile that lit up every room brighter than the early rays of the morning sun, nor her ridiculous jokes she’d crack at the wrong times. She was his light, his dream, and if he had a flower for every thought he had of her after her death, he’d walk through a beautiful garden for eternity.

[armins-main-hoe]

Odd socks | Neteyam’s twin

There is now a full fic available to read. If you’re interested, here is the link to the masterlist. 

Reader as Neteyam’s twin sister. 

I was showering when I had this idea come in my head, followed by many others about how this twin would fit in with the story. Not proofread!!

When Neytiri was first pregnant with you both, she had obviously began to show her baby bump quicker since there was the two of you inside her. As months went by, she and her mother began to wonder why her stomach was so big when there was only meant to be one child in there. It was only when Mo’at felt Neytiri’s stomach and felt 2 pairs of feet kick.

It was very rare among the Navi for twins to be born. In the few cases were twins where born, either one child was born weaker and passes away or the mother passes away herself. This worried everyone. For the remainder of her pregnancy, she would pray to Ewya, pray for both of her babies to be born healthy and let her live to see them grow. At night, Jake would come and lay down with her, they both would talk about who the two babies would take after, the challenges they would face in parenthood with two babies at once. 

However, they soon discovered that Grace’s avatar was also pregnant, how it was possible was a mystery but both Jake and Neytiri agreed to adopt her child. They already had 2 on the way, another one couldn’t hurt. (I believe kiri is slightly younger than Neteyam right? pls tell me if I am wrong-) 

Once Neytiri had given birth, Mo’at was the first to realise that you had 3 fingers on your left hand and 4 on your right. While you brother only had 3 fingers on both of his hands. When both you and Neteyam were put side by side, nobody could tell you both apart had it not been for your right hand with 4 fingers. Jake gave you the nickname ‘odd socks’ for it, you would laugh with him whenever he would call you that until you were old enough to know what ‘odd socks’ were. 

Raising three babies at once was difficult at times. Especially after the three of you learn’t how to crawl. You in particular had to always had to be under supervision as you had developed a tendency to crawl away a lot. You would take any chance you could get to run away. Jake found it amusing to see you dash away on all fours as fast as your tiny hands and feet could take you. Of course, you never actually got very far before you would be picked up by either your father or mother. You would coo at them with a tiny frown on your face afterwards. 

“I’m sorry but you’re not old enough to go off on your own yet odd socks.” Your father would say to you as he carries you back to your mother and siblings. Once put down again on the floor to play with your sister and brother you would try to crawl away again. “Do I have to tie you up or something?” Jake would joke. 

You began to walk first out of you, Neteyam and Kiri. It happened when Jake and Neytiri went out hunting together one day and your grandmother was taking care of the three of you. She had managed to keep you three seated still by telling you all small simple stories but you soon lost interest in her story as you heard something fall behind you. You turned around and saw a wooden carving of a navi man, a toy you and your siblings play with. You were about to crawl away but you heard your grandmother call out to you. 

Turning back around you waited for some chance for when you could crawl away. You got that chance when Mo’at turned around to get something she wanted to show you three. You giggled to yourself as you began to quickly crawl away. Neteyam watched you crawl away and smiled as he also joined you in escaping and Kiri followed him. 

The wooden doll kept rolling and you kept crawling after it. The doll the rolled down some stairs. You remember how adults would go down the stairs on their 2 feet and then tried to do the same. Using the wall beside you as support you tried to stand up. Each time you would fall down, both Kiri and Neteyam would giggle. Mo’at soon found the three of you and saw you standing up. She clapped and laughed, cheering you on. 

Jake and Neytiri had arrived back home after another successful hunt, the two of them made their way to Mo’at’s place to get the three of you back. Once they did find the four of you, Neytiri gasped as you walked towards them, sure you were quite wobbly and fell down once while on your way but both her and Jake were so happy. 

Once the three of you could walk and run, there was no stopping the three of you. Neytiri got pregnant again, this time with lo’ak. This meant that most of the time it was Jake trying to catch the three of you running away. You were quick on your little feet, eager to experience the world and put anything that looks interesting into your mouth. 

The first time you three saw lo’ak, he was sleeping soundly in your mothers arms. You three looked at him in awe of how tiny he was. Which all newborns tend to be. Neteyam slowly reached out to hold lo’ak’s hand, you watched his hand take the tiny baby’s fist in his palm. “Tiny”, you told your dad who chuckled and nodded while ruffling your hair, “You were once that tiny too, though you really aren’t much bigger than him anyway.”  

There were times when you and Neteyam would pretend to be each other, You would undo your braids and try to messily recreate each other’s hair style. You both would walk up to your parents and hide your hands behind your back since you had an extra finger and they could easily tell you apart by just looking at your hands. However, you mother always managed to know who was who and then would tell you off for making your hair so messy. You’re dad on the other hand would pretend not to know just to amuse you both because he remembered how when him and his twin brother would do the same when they were younger.  

While growing up, out of the four children Jake and Neytiri have, you had grown to be the social butterfly. You were friends with practically all of the the children in the clan. You were even friends with some of the children that were older than you by a few years. Neteyam was a but more reserved than you but he still was open to being friends with anyone that approached him. Kiri was only friends with others who kept to themselves like she did, she had not taken a liking to those who were very loud. Lo’ak would stick with either you or Neteyam and hang out with whoever you were with at the time. Neither you or Neteyam mind whether Lo’ak hung out with you or not but he did soon find a friend for himself. 

It was the four of you, and after just a few years it was five. Tuktirey, your youngest sister or Tuk as your family mostly call her. As she grew, your parents noticed how much she acted like you, lively and bouncy, eager to see everything. There would be times when you and Neteyam would take Tuk out exploring in the forest, though you three never really went too far from home, to her it seemed as if you guys were miles away. 

You liked it when you could take your siblings out to the forest with Neteyam, it was fun. All of you would challenge each other to see who could climb the highest, it always came down to you and Neteyam and it varied each time who would win out of the two of you. Sometimes it would be races and little Tuk would get frustrated being last each time so you and your siblings would purposely slow down so she could win one time. Other times, you would find places to sit down and talk about how your father came from a star and the battles him and your mother fought. 

Soon you and Neteyam had to choose an Ikran. Neteyam went first, he had made it seem so easy as he managed to make the bond with his Ikran rather quickly. However, as you were watching him, you noticed another Ikran behind his, one that looked identical to his. Just by looking at how similar the patters and colours were, you wondered if that Ikran would choose you. You had made eye contact with the other Ikran and it opened its mouth to let out a screech at you. “Quick, looks like that once chose you.” Your father whispered to you, he was only standing right behind you, gently pushing you forward to win that Ikran over. “ Go get her odd socks.” You gave him a quick ‘really dad?’ look for the nickname but walked up to the ikran. 

Now you were much closer to the Ikran, up close you could see just how identical the Ikran was to Neteyam’s, only difference being that it’s colours were ever so slightly darker. You struggles a bit longer than Neteyam did but you were soon able to make the bond. You could feel the adrenaline run through your veins as you told your Ikran to fly. Naturally, it flew straight down, you panicked and quickly told your Ikran to fly back up. As you flew back up you could hear your parents cheering you and your brother on. Once your Ikran levelled out, you caught up to Neteyam and the two of you flew together for a bit before being joined by Kiri who also got her Ikran a couple minutes later.  Soon, Lo’ak and your parents caught up to you three and your whole family flew together back home. 

While growing up, you guys were often visited by Spider, a human boy who was left here since he was too small to go back. He would play with you guys as kids but once you grew up, you weren’t as close since you didn’t really get the time to spend much time playing, as did Neteyam. This meant that your younger siblings got closer to Spider much more than you and your twin brother did. This only was because both you and Neteyam were the Olo’eyktan’s eldest children, it could be either one of you that become the next clan leader. Not only that, but your father was Toruk Makto. This meant that the two of you had much more to live up to. 

However, just to escape all the responsibilities, sometimes you would go flying on your ikran on the rare day off, often joined by your twin brother. The two of you would go flying and fly for a few hours, always being back home before eclipse. There was this one time lo’ak joined you two and the three of you tried showing off all the cool tricks you could do with your ikran while flying, your younger brother nearly fell off trying to do a flip. Once you and Neteyam made sure he was safe, you both couldn’t help but laugh. Lo’ak felt embarrassed but a small smile was ghosting his face as he heard the two of you laugh, he knew you both were stressed the past few days and was happy to hear you both enjoy yourselves. Even though he often acts like a headache, he does care about his older brother and sister.  

Though both you and Tuk were similar it often led to small arguments where you get told off in the end because you were significantly older than her. For example, Tuk looked up to Neteyam a lot while growing up and saw him as another father figure. This meant that if she could she would spend time with him whenever. This included stealing him away when he was spending time with his other siblings. “Tuk I know he is your favourite but you can’t steal him whenever you want you know.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yes I can! Come on Neteyam!” She tugged on his arm. 

“No you can’t” You held onto his other arm, the two of you had been pretty busy the last two days and you had decided on going out to fly. You already were pretty annoyed to start with and Tuk was just fuelling your annoyance right now. 

“Guys, how about you don’t pull my arms off-”

“I am his little sister, he has to come with me.” Tuk argued with you.

“I was his sister before you were!” You argued back.  

Unfortunately, even though Neteyam promised to spend time with her later, Tuk threatened to tell your mother that you were leaving her out You were even more annoyed and Neteyam did give you an apologetic smile before he was dragged away by your little sister. You sighed to yourself and went off to go do whatever Lo’ak and his friends were doing. (Tuk did apologise later though, Neteyam probably talked her into doing it.)

You remember this one time you found a particularly pretty rock when heading back home from training one day. You thought that you could turn it into a necklace. So then for the next few days, just before you are meant to go to sleep you would dedicate some of your time to work on that necklace. You added some coloured beads to it too. Once you had finished it you held it up in your hands to admire it. The sunlight shined through the opaque rock and let out a orange pool of light to spill out from it. “That looks beautiful. Did you make that?” You heard your sister speak behind you. You turn around to look at Kiri. You smile and nod. She sits down besides you, getting a closer look at the necklace you made. You smile and go to put the necklace on her. “Here, I want to see how it would look on you.” You tell her. She smiles back at you and watches you put the necklace around her neck. It shines around her neck. “You look pretty.” You compliment her. She smiles again and thanks you for it, moving her hands up to remove it and give it back to you. You stop her and tell her that she can keep it. You don’t wear necklaces anyway. She thanks you again. giving you a tight hug before going to continue on with her day. You always saw her wearing the necklace and never saw her without it. You would smile each time you saw it around her neck. 

Like you when you were younger, Tuk would often disappear while exploring on her own. This meant you and your siblings would have create a little search party amongst yourselves to quickly find her before your parents find out and give you an earful of how irresponsible you are. One time you found her looking at a baby ikran from afar. You put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at you. “When can I get my own ikran?” She asked you. “When you are ready and being ready doesn’t mean disappearing whenever you feel like it.” You gently scold her. She gives you a sheepish grin and looks back at the baby ikran wobble over to its mother who busies herself eating. “Come on, lets go back and tomorrow I’ll take you flying on my ikran.” She gasps in excitement and the two of you go back home, talking about the future and how she will beat you at flying with her future ikran.  

While Neteyam and Lo’ak would go with your parents with the war party as spotters, you would go with a group of hunters who would hunt food for the whole clan. Though you weren’t with your siblings or parents while hunting, you had plenty of friends so you never felt lonely. In fact, you quite liked hunting and your aim with the arrow got far better each time, being able to hit your target from much father distances and even with a few objects in the way, you still managed to hit your prey. You ever learnt a few new tricks with your ikran. Over time, you became one of the best hunters among your age of Navi. There was something about flying in with your ikran, pulling out your bow and arrow to hit your target, watching your arrow hit your prey fight where it kills them that makes you start to breath a little harder. You get an adrenaline rush each time but you always wanted more. You wanted an actual fight. Though you never told anyone this, you did try to convince your father to allow you to join your brothers as spotters. He agreed and the first time you joined them you gave in to lo’ak’s idea of joining the fight while Neteyam would roll his eyes at the two of you. You and lo’ak got told off by Jake later that day. Since that day, you were only allowed to join your brothers as spotters if absolutely necessary. 

Over dinner, you would talk with your siblings about your day, Neteyam and Lo’ak going over what they saw at spotters, you talking about how hunting went and what new hunting tack ticks you discovered, Kiri complaining how your grandmother wouldn’t listen to her when she kept saying how one type of medicine is much better than the current one they use and Tuk would talk about how she found a baby bird in the forest. 

You liked how everything was. Each day was exciting, there was always so much to do. You prayed to Ewya that everything would stay the same. Though there was that uncertainty in the future about who would take over your father, you or Neteyam and you were sure that when the time comes, it won’t be so easy to decide but that is for the future you to worry about. Right now, you decided to enjoy what you have. 

It was often your two brothers that would come back wounded from being spotters, even though they aren’t meant to actually be involved in the fighting but there were times when the hunt would be particularly rough, causing you to injure yourself. Whenever this would happen you would walk over to wherever Kiri happened to be, which was usually by your family tent. She would patch you up while teasingly scolding you. Sometimes Neteyam or Lo’ak would be there with you and she would actually scold them. You would lightly laugh at the sight, joining Kiri in telling your brothers off. “Hey, you’re injured too. Kiri why don’t you tell her off for a change.” Lo’ak would complain. You would stick your tongue out at him, telling him that you aren’t in here for medical attention as much as he is. You do worry about your brothers coming back hurt more than you but at the end of the day, you can’t do much since you aren’t always there with them. You are told to go hunting while they go to other places where violence is always a threat. 

(Jake doesn’t let you go bc he knows you’d be worse than Lo’ak when it comes to resisting the urge to join the fight. So he makes you go hunting instead. Though those one off times where you do join them, he has to keep an eye out for you and Lo’ak and Neteyam, the poor boy, has twice the amount of idiots to look out for.)  

(Also if Jake ever wants to talk to you through the throat microphone he would say your code name is ‘odd socks’) 

(You roll your eyes each time he says that.)

(I’m gonna have to make a pt.2)

(bye bye)

You can read pt.2 here

[seoksgrl]

happier than ever, 5. : knj namjoon x reader friends to strangers to lovers

tws: alcoholism, depression, mention of attempted suicide

note: whoops in classic me fashion i accidentally took a 3 month from updating lol. well...here it is. sidenote, i did used to work in mental health, but my knowledge is a little fuzzy, so if anything is wrong or inaccurate, pls just ignore bc after all...this is just a fanfic :)

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Namjoon doesn’t even think before he shrugs out of his jacket, Jooheon watching the water where you disappeared with wide eyes, lips parted in shock. It’s only when the splash and crackle of Namjoon’s boot on the ice fills the air alongside the two men’s harsh, panicked breaths that Jooheon even reacts.

“What - Namjoon you can’t go in there, let me call for an ambulance -”

Namjoon isn’t listening to his friend’s worries, his frame is heavier than your own, and the thin ice cracks under his weight before he even gets past the old pier. The frigid water takes his breath away, but he inhales a couple of deep breaths to try and keep his mind focused, to stop his body from going into shock too quick. He needs to get to you, needs to see you bob up through the choppy waves in the gap your body made through the ice. 

His fist aches from where he smashes the ice, relieved at how thin it is all while his body shakes against the cold and the terror of that image locked in his mind, your tired, devastated face disappearing beneath the water. It’s a moment that will haunt him for the rest of his life, and he just hopes that’s the only image that does. 

Jooheon is calling out his name on the bank in between talking to the emergency services on his cell phone, and Namjoon blocks him out, his haggard breaths forced from his tight through against the freezing lake that envelopes his body, soaks into his clothes and his bones. Once he gets close enough to where you went under, he sucks in a quick, deep breath and drops beneath the surface. 

The cold, murky water of the lake burns his eyes as he fights against the automatic instinct to close them. He’s too focused on finding you to worry about whatever water parasites he might contract swimming around in this old, unkempt reservoir. His eyes squint against the darkness, various shapes and shadows under the water catch his attention as he swims deeper, long forgotten boats that had sunk long ago, or trash thrown in by people passing by. God knows this isn’t a tourist destination anymore, not that Namjoon remembers people coming to the lake when the two of you were young. It was always your safe place. 

Now he wants nothing more than to get you both far away from here. 

Through the misty, green water, Namjoon spots a shape that can only be you, and he prays silently to himself that this isn’t some cruel figment of his imagination. Your body drifts in the water, arms uplifted, legs bent slightly. You’re not fighting, and Namjoon screams your name beneath the water, but the sound dies in a flurry of bubbles. The taste of the lake chokes him as he rushes to you, feet kicking hard in his heavy winter boots. There’s a burst of movement as his fingers grip your arm, the soft material of your sweater sodden and heavy, his skin numb as he wraps his arm around your waist, glancing up to see the faint outline in the ice before he swims up, resurfacing with a gasp. 

His eyes blink furiously, and he’s not sure if it's the lake or whether there are tears flowing down his cheeks, but his throat closes around your name, the sound escaping his lips in a ragged cry. His hands are useless, riddled with pins and needles, but he grips your cheeks anyway, shaking you, trying to do anything to wake you up. Blue and red lights beckon him from the bank, and he smashes through the ice blocking his previous path, dragging you ashore as the ambulance pulls up. His entire body shakes, and he can’t stop himself from attempting to revive you, needing to work quicker, hardly able to wait for the paramedics to get here before he’s pinching your nose, tugging your jaw open and sealing his lips over yours. He blows in a long gust of air, moving back to pump a couple times before hands are pulling him off of you. 

“No! No - I have to - She needs to wake up -”

Jooheon grips his arms, pulling him back and out of the way from the paramedics, “Let them do their job, man. You need to warm up,”

Then there’s a woman surrounding him with a blanket, stepping in front of him and blocking his line of sight as he paramedics begin to pump at your chest, placing a mask over your face as one guy pumps the large, plastic apparatus. He can’t breathe, feeling as if he’s drowning along with you, and his legs give out while Jooheon follows him down to the floor, crowding him with arms that make him feel as if he’s suffocating. 

“Please, please, please…” He mutters to himself, too quiet for anyone to hear. Hot tears run down his face now, and seconds turn into minutes as the paramedics continue trying to revive your cold, lifeless body. 

It feels like years pass before your chest moves jaggedly, body bucking as you choke on the small amount of water in your lungs. The sound of your first hoarse breath is like music to Namjoon’s ears, and he falls back onto his ass on the soggy bank of the lake, his face in his hands as he sobs harder than he has ever in his life. 

There’s soreness all over your body when you wake up, your eyes unable to open while your hazy, addled mind tries to catch up. There’s something in your throat, something around your mouth, and you begin to panic, your eyes springing open into the harsh white light as your legs thrash.

“Shh, we’ve got you, Y/N,” A soft, feminine voice, slightly muffled, comes from beside you, and your eyes roll to look up at them. Their face is blurry, half covered with a mask, and you realise quickly that you’re in a hospital room, “This is gonna be uncomfortable so just try to breathe through your nose for me,”

You try to do as the doctor says, but the instrument being slowly removed from your throat makes you gag repeatedly, eyes stinging with tears until it passes your lips. Your mouth feels dry, lips cracked and sore. There’s a familiar smell stuck in your nostrils, a natural, watery scent that mingles unpleasantly with the sterile aroma of the hospital. 

“I -” You cough, swallowing hard as your bruised throat contracts, “I can’t afford this,”

The nurse looks down at you, eyes soft and full of pity, just as you hate. When they speak, your brows draw together, “The bill is covered, please try to rest,”

“But -”

The nurse doesn’t wait to hear your protests, instead leaving the room and walking out into the corridor. You look around the room, alone and confused at how you got here or what has happened in the last however many hours its been since you visited your mother’s grave at the cemetery. It’s only when you remember laying a cheap, plastic-wrapped bundle of flowers at her gravestone that you recall what your intentions had been; the lake, the ice, the wine you’d gulped at for courage, it all comes back to you in a wave of humiliation and dread. 

That familiar, dark shadow raises it’s head once more in the form of a thirst for something you know damn well you can’t get at a hospital, and so you look around and down at your form, eyes snagging on the tube that’s been inserted into your arm. It’s still a little sore, as is the rest of your body, especially your chest. There are a few long, heavy minutes where you contemplate pulling the foreign object out of your arm when you feel the presence of someone enter the room. 

“You’re awake,” Namjoon says, and your eyes close on impact, like the sound of it hurts. And it does, especially when you’re mostly sober. That’s why you need to numb it all, and why you need to get out of here. 

“I have to go,” You say, your hand reaching for the tube and tugging. It hurts, and you wince, but carry on until a pair of warm hands cover your hand, stopping your movements.

“Y/N, please don’t do that,”

“Get off me,” You say, voice failing to hold the anger you feel towards the man before you. The feeling of his skin touching yours is almost painful, and to get away from his touch, you rip your hands out from under his, aborting your plan to pull out the tube, “I don’t want to be here. I want to go home,”

“You can’t go home yet,” Namjoon says, still standing close to your bed. You feel trapped, suffocated and completely unable to look at him, so instead you pick at a stray thread on the blanket, “they’ve arranged for someone to come and talk to you,”

This is where you look up at him, your eyes lifting to greet Namjoon’s face, concern etched into his features. It leaves you breathless and pissed off all at once, “What do you mean? I don’t need to talk to anyone,”

“Y/N,” He sighs, looking exasperated, the bags under his eyes out of place when you’re so used to seeing him upbeat, friendly, “you tried to drown yourself,”

There’s something strange in hearing the words come from Namjoon’s lips, even when it’s the truth. You had intended to do that, and you’d wanted to succeed, too. But for some reason it makes you feel embarrassed and caught out when he points out the fact.

There’s a long moment of silence between the two of you, and you can feel Namjoon’s eyes on your face, his hands still brushing the blanket where your arm had been. It’s too much, you feel naked under his watchful eye, and it’s almost as if you’re a child being chastised. 

“I know you’re mad at me,” He says, voice quiet and pleading, “and I am too. I’m pissed off at myself for letting this much time get between us. I should’ve been here,”

“I don’t need anyone to look after me,” Is your reply, even when your throat tightens upon hearing the softness in his voice. Your body is simply reacting to the words you wanted to hear for years, the moment you imagined might happen five or seven years after the two of you stopped talking. But it’s been twelve years, and you’re incapable of feeling anything anymore.

Maybe if Namjoon had reached out a year or two ago, you wouldn’t feel this way, but it hurts more to think about forgiving him than it does to keep being mad, and so you do that. 

“I think you’re wrong,” Namjoon replies, and it’s not at all what you expect him to say, or what you imagine most people would say in reply to you claiming your independence. Your eyes fly up to meet his and his head is tilted inquisitively, as if he’s waiting for something.

“Excuse me?”

He clears his throat, looking away when you meet his line of sight head on, “I don’t think you can always look after yourself. I think you need someone to look out for you, and for the last year, or maybe longer, you haven’t had that,” he swallows, and you wonder if he is nervous, “you’ve been alone. And that’s partly my fault,”

Even as you frown at the side of his face, you have a sense that he may be right. Maybe this last year would have been easier if he had been around, or if Seokjin hadn’t fucked your best friend during your bachelorette party, or if you had any friends left in Yeocho. After you began drinking heavily, people didn’t want to be around you, and it’s safe to say you burnt some bridges with your actions and some of the shit you said. But you’ve gotten so used to people leaving, to being alone, that the idea of letting someone in, or back in, makes you feel itchy all over. It makes you feel vulnerable in ways you haven’t had to in so long. 

Namjoon turns back to look at you, then, possibly wondering why you haven’t replied. His lips part, as if he wants to say more, but someone else steps into the room, a doctor in a long, white coat followed by another person in a shirt and tie. 

“Miss Y/N, I’m pleased to see you’re awake,” The doctor says, his eyes darting between you and Namjoon. He smiles warmly at you both, and for a second it actually feels nice for someone to view you with something other than pity or second hand embarrassment, “My name is Doctor Chen, this is my colleague, Doctor Ryu. We’d just like to have a word with you, if you don’t mind,”

Licking your lips, you sit up, pushing against the mattress and lifting your weakened, bruised body until you’re sitting, “I don’t believe I have a choice,”

Namjoon sighs your name, and you almost turn to him before Dr Ryu steps forward, his demeanour open and relaxed, “I understand that this probably feels overwhelming, but we truly just want to have a chat for the moment. Is that okay?”

Despite everything, your eyes find Namjoon’s, his brows lifted as he looks down at you with tired eyes, but for a moment his lips twitch into a smile, oddly comforting despite your anger with his presence. 

“Fine,” You say, turning back to Dr Ryu and Dr Chen, “but I’d like to be alone,”

Namjoon nods like he was expecting the dismissal, and smiles at the two doctors before looking back at you, “I’ll go get some coffee and leave you to it,”

There’s a long moment of silence where you watch the doorway, eyes lingering on where Namjoon walked out into the hall for some inexplicable reason, and you find yourself turning away and letting your eyes land on the two doctors in front of you. Their soft smiles and penetrating stares leave you feeling naked, exposed like a raw nerve as they wait for you to talk first. 

“So, what exactly do I need to say to you in order to get out of here?”

Dr Ryu is the first to react, his lips lifting a little as if this isn’t the first time he’s heard those words. Dr Chen looks marginally more uncomfortable, adjusting his watch absentmindedly. He allows Dr Ryu to answer, and you realise that of the two, he must be the psychiatrist. 

“I’m sure you are aware of the gravity of your situation, Y/N. We don’t have to sugar coat it for you,” His voice is calm and cool like an early morning by the lake, and the fact that this is the first thing you think of almost has a bubble of hysterical laughter crawling up your throat. Irony at it’s finest, you suppose. “What happened at the lake was a suicide attempt, and in order for us to make sure you have the help you need, there will have to be several assessments done before we can discharge you,”

When the first few visions of your plan first came into focus, you were so sure you’d thought of everything. Seokjin didn’t need you, there were no pets to look after or give away, no job to call in sick to. All you had to do was die. 

It never ever occurred to you what might happen if it didn’t work. If someone saved you. But perhaps a part of you should have been prepared for this; the worried glances, the questions, the soft, pleading stares from two men in white coats. 

When you don’t answer, Dr Ryu is the first to break the silence once again, his posture relaxed as he leans back to look at you, “When was the first time you had these suicidal thoughts, Y/N? Can you tell me a little about what life has been like the last few years?”

The memories come unbidden, sober thoughts flashing behind your eyelids like the harsh rays of sunlight when someone rips the curtains away from the window to wake you up. Your sober mind can’t shake them off, can’t let them fade away, so instead you’re punished with them, haunted by the memories of finding Seokjin and Yeji after your bachelorette party, repo men carrying out your computer from the studio. 

Your mother’s pale, gaunt face turned towards you as she lay dying. 

Your eyes screw shut against the glare of years worth of pain, and you swallow it all down like a bitter pill, “I don’t want to do this,”

Dr Ryu doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to calm you or change the subject. Instead he leaves you to feel your feelings, to let your mind circle through the memories as you unwittingly pinpoint exactly where your life turned to shit. 

“I was engaged,” You say, the words forced out of you in a shattering exhale, “and then I wasn’t. I owned an art studio, and then I didn’t. My mother was alive, and now she’s -” It’s hard to say the word, despite the fact you’ve said it countless times in drunken rambles to old school friends at the bar, even to Namjoon when he showed up in your kitchen that morning. But it feels so much harsher to say it when sober, and you stutter, frightened as if saying it makes it all the more final. “She’s dead,”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Y/N,” Ryu says, his face is soft, sincere, and you have to look away with a nod, “Is this when you began to drink?”

There’s a bolt of shame that races over your skin when he says those words, even without the accusatory tone it still feels as if you’re being judged. When you first started drinking, it was just an excuse to blow off steam, to ignore what you were feeling day to day. But then it snowballed, until it felt as if you couldn’t go a day without having a drink.

A drink became a bottle, and a bottle became two bottles. So on and so forth. 

“I partied a little when the studio got repossessed. But after my mom died I…” You shrug, unsure if you can even explain your actions for the last year or so adequately, “It helps,”

Dr Chen takes over for a little while, going over the logistics, how much exactly you have on a daily basis. Then he explains the dangers you pose, the damage you could do - have already done - if you were to carry on this way. 

“You’re still young, and thankfully the damage we’ve seen so far is reversible, but that would require total sobriety,” Dr Chen says, serious and stern, “We can prescribe some medication to help with the withdrawal symptoms, but these are to be closely monitored by your physician, and it would help to have someone at home to make sure you have a support system in place. Is there anyone you know who would be willing to stay with you? Or vice versa?”

“I…” It’s a lot of information to process, and you find yourself momentarily overwhelmed, those dark thoughts creeping in once more and reminding you how easy it would be if you were left at the bottom of that lake. 

“Y/N,” Dr Ryu says, “we want to work with you, to get you healthy both physically and mentally. Now, I know this may be difficult to hear, but if we feel you do not have a support system in place to help you through this process, it may be best if you were to enter a rehab facility. There you would have access to psychiatrists like myself, along with doctors specifically trained in drug and alcohol abuse,”

“What’s the alternative?” You ask, “I want to go home, is there any way I can go home?”

Dr Ryu offers you a gentle smile, a hand landing atop yours, “Do you have someone back at home, Y/N?”

It's at that moment that you hear footsteps approaching the door, and you turn just in time to see Namjoon standing at the threshold, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand as he glances between you and the two doctors with parted lips. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,”

The thought pops into your head like a faulty lightbulb. 

It’s hardly true, and you can always find a way out of it eventually, but you turn back to Dr Ryu and open your mouth anyway, the lie spilling past your lips before you can stop it. 

Four days, and dozens of assessments later, you’re signing discharge papers and leaving beside Namjoon, his gaze steady and warm, mistakenly believing that you’ve forgiven him. That you’ll lean on him for support. 

Little does he know, you just needed a ticket out of this clinical hell, and he was the first person you laid eyes on. 

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