#pls don’t cancel me LMAO

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hey, you're from Germany, right? Do you have any tips for writing a German character? Most specifically, a German character studying abroad, and another character placed in Germany working In a office.

Things like relationships (familial, platonic, and romantic), office culture, normal habits, and cultural shocks a German may have would be very appreciated!

Sorry if this ask is tiresome. Thank you so, so much! <3

As always, Germans are like other people. Different personalities, different opinions, different worldviews — every German is different. So, you have a lot of options to build your character with a unique character.

That being said…

Studying abroad/living in Germany

So…I assume studying in ’merica, aye? I have been there when I was a teeny tiny cat but I have also heard stuff from people who have studied abroad. And uhhhh Germans hate Americans lol (though this could also be a European thing, not a German thing).

We make fun of your school system a lot. I don’t wanna be mean but things like education, school safety, your food etc. are often victims of our dark humour. A friend of mine was studying abroad and the people could genuinely not tell what exactly Germany is. Is it a country? A continent? A city?

Adding to that, she was overwhelmed with things like “Do you know Hitler?” or “Are you a Nazi?”

Bro…we spend months and years learning in detail about our country’s history. We visit concentration camps. We watch movies from that time, analyse in detail how the people got manipulated. We read books the victims wrote. Germany still imprisons people who are a hundred years old. Germany is well aware of its past. It’s also aware that something like this cannot happen ever again.

Since that was a bit deep uhhhh let’s go over to food. I dunno about y’all but from what I’ve heard…you’re ordering food for dinner and eat it on paper plates…? Look that’s what I’ve heard and I gotta tell you that most Germans eat bread and Brötchen for dinner (though this is also changing, a lot of people are cooking warm meals for dinner nowadays).

And — can’t stress this enough — Germans love bread. When you go into a supermarket, the first thing you’re gonna see is a bakery.

And inside the supermarket is also a mini bakery.

We love it. Can’t really live without it.

Germans complain (at least here in the East). You go out with friends? Instantly complaining about your stupid neighbours. You go to the club? Instantly complain how lame it is. You went somewhere for a special occasion? Instantly talking about everything that went well and all the things you would’ve loved to be better.

Germans love football (soccer). Personally, I hate it more than anything. But Germans love it. It’s insane to me. They sit in the stadium and scream…definitely has something Romanesque to it.

I’d say most people have a rather difficult relationship with their parents. Generational trauma is a big thing. I mean, Germany being split and being reunited is a big part of my parents’ childhood. And since healthy communication wasn’t really a thing back then, most parents just don’t really know how to communicate with their children. So, I’d rather say it’s kinda messed up? Again, I can’t speak for everyone but that’s just what I’m getting from talking to my friends etc.

It’s not that they don’t love us, it’s just that they cannot always show it when we need it.

I believe it is best if you watch a few TikToks of people who aren’t from Germany experiencing Germany, they can definitely tell you about all the different things way better. For example this one is about “language,” cake, grocery stores, German windows lmao, and this German tiktok icon making fun of Americans.

I hope this is somewhat helpful? I’m not working in an office, so I can’t tell you much about that, unfortunately but maybe someone on Tiktok could help you with that. People documenting their life is a pretty good source of information. (Other than that do not trust TikTok ever!!!)

[gggoldfinch]

baron harkonnen being an incestuous, (and pedophilic, and abusive, and a rapist) man is canon. It’s unfortunately also canon in part because it’s canon he is a gay or bi man. A man who has sex with men that is. The reason it’s connected that both are canon is that the author of the books, Frank Herbert, was extremely homophobic and this connection between all forms of fascism, sadism, sexual abuse, and male sexual attraction to men was deliberate for him to put into the Baron as a character. In his personal life, Frank Herbert treated his gay son horribly (disowned him, hated him, refused to reconcile when his son was dying of AIDS)

[lad-boyo]

.🥲

[jj-one]

HATE YOU

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: enemies to lovers ? (sorta one-sided tho), college au, fuckboy!jungkook x f!reader genre/tags: smut, angst, alcohol usage, dirty talk, lowkey perverted!jk, fingering, piv, unprotected sex (oof), drunk sex, public sex (reader & jk do it at a house party), riding, video recording **pls don’t do none of this irl LMAO words: 2.7k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Hate is a strong word— at least that’s what people try and say. You meant it though, it was a word you didn’t use lightly. Especially when it came to your opinion on 99% of the male population at your school. You couldn’t stand most of them, they all just wanted one thing. Getting into your pants.

You despised hook-up culture with a passion and it didn’t help that most guys who tried talking to you were all the same. You had a special hatred for a particular individual the most though— Jeon Jungkook from your physics class. He was the most arrogant, conceited, egotistical person you’ve ever met your whole life.

Every class he would have a different girl with him wrapped around his arm, walking him to the door like he’s some kind of royalty. The way almost every girl would swoon over him just because he’s good looking was baffling to you. Yeah he may have a pretty face but does that cancel everything else out? Of course not. You’ll never understand why these women would choose to go after someone like him, you felt embarrassed for them honestly.

“Jungkook, meet me after class I’ll be waiting for you!” Some girl shouted through the door to get his attention.

He was sitting two seats from you, looking at his phone while paying no mind to the obvious screaming being directed to him. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous.

“Hey y/n, what’re you doing tonight?”

That voice startled the hell out of you. Who gave Jungkook the right to even be speaking to you right now? Looking over in his direction, you give him an empty stare.

“Why do you care?” You said harshly.

It makes no sense why he would even try talking to you, you’ve never given him any indication you liked him.

“Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he chuckles, “you should pull up to my party tonight!” You wanted to almost physically gag at the wink he just gave you.

“I’m good.” You shut him down quickly and try moving on but he doesn’t let you off that easy.

“You sure? The whole schools practically gonna be there, you don’t wanna miss out on all the fun do ya?” That annoying smirk on his face was really starting to irritate you.

“I said I’m good, I’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties.”

“I think you got me mixed up with someone else, my parties are always lit. If you have a change of heart though, I’ll make sure to show you a real good time.”

You scoff, utterly disgusted by his last comment, just about everything he said had sexual undertones to them. His humor was weird and extremely perverted which heavily pissed you off. You couldn’t wait for this class to be over.

“We’re almost here!” Yuna exclaims in the passenger seat.

You were in the back with two of your other friends as you were headed to a party. You weren’t totally up for partying tonight but ultimately your friends were able to convince you to go. You don’t even know where the party is but maybe it’s good to get your mind off things.

“Oh, by the way who’s party is this?” You ask suddenly as Lisa pulls into a driveway.

The car got silent for a second, no one answered your question. It was a bit odd to you the way they all froze up.

“Actually… it’s Jungkook’s party…” Lisa finally spoke, her eyes kept trailing away from you.

“What the fuck? Of all places you choose to go you pick him?!” You felt so betrayed.

They really drove you all the way here just to trick you into coming and now you have no escape plan. They all begged and pleaded for you to suck it up and let loose for just one night. You finally agreed but only under the condition that you want to be far away from him as possible.

“Why do you even dislike him so much? You would think he had murdered someone or something!” Your friend asks.

“I just think he’s a pretentious asshole that doesn’t deserve all the hype he gets.”

They just shrug your opinion off and get out the car. You huff as you open the door and head to the party with the rest of them.

You instantly felt claustrophobic once you go inside. There were crowds of people everywhere. Jungkook was right, everyone at the school was practically here. Loud rap music was blaring through the speakers, red solo cups scattered the floor, people getting sloppy drunk or stoned; the perfect stereotypical house party.

You haven’t seen him yet so that was a good sign and you go up to the kitchen to get drinks with Lisa. 20 minutes pass by now and Lisa was left out of your sight. You have no idea where she could’ve run off to and now you have to search the place to find your friends.

Heading outside into the backyard, your balance was becoming unstable from the alcohol in your system. You were taking shots of Hennessy back to back and it caught up to you faster than you could blink. You sat down on one of the lawn chairs since your head was starting to feel really heavy. You felt a sudden tap behind your shoulder and hear a voice that even when you’re drunk, you can sense with disdain.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t little miss ‘i’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties!’” Jungkook teases while coming from behind you.

“Get the hell away from me!” You lean away from him to leave you alone but he only came closer.

“This is my house so I don’t need to go anywhere, if anything I think I should kick you out for being so mean to me.” His face inched towards yours further, putting you in an uncomfortable position.

You don’t know why your body felt paralyzed though, it was probably just from all the alcohol inebriating your mind.

“You know, I never understood why you actually hate me. I never hurt you did I?” He says, slightly cocking his head to the side.

His tattooed hand landed on your knee, just planting it there while keeping strong eye contact. You couldn’t speak for some reason, it was as if an enormous lump has formed and got caught inside your throat. He looks down at the skirt you’re wearing and bites his lip, playing with his lip ring.

“Why aren’t you talking? You usually have a lot to say to me, why so quiet now sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?” He continues speaking in that condescending tone of his and you’ve had enough now.

“I fucking hate your guts Jungkook, I absolutely despise you. You’re a cocky, perverted fuckboy that needs to be humbled and finally put in your place!” You snap back at him while pushing his hand away.

“Woah girl chill out, that was a bit harsh don’t ya think? Also, I’d love for you to put me in my place any day.” Yet again, he never fails to make a sexually charged comment.

“You’re disgusting, seriously get help!” You attempt to get up from the lawn chair but he pushes you back down.

“You know, I’ve always liked my girls a little feisty. I find it hot when girls yell at me.”

Either this man has a humiliation kink or is just plain stupid— either way you don’t want to be anywhere near him but he wouldn’t let you leave.

“Please just go away Jungkook, I don’t want you in my sight anymore.”

“Really? Because if that were true then you would’ve been left already,” his hand went to stroke the side of your hair “seems like you really don’t want me to leave.”

His other hand went back to your knee again but slowly trails up to your thigh and goes under your skirt this time. You were surprised within yourself that you were even letting this happen. He leans in to your face, being just a few inches away from his lips. You became almost in a trance by those pink, pillowy lips. You don’t know what came over you but you grab his face and messily kiss him. The movement of your lips colliding and syncing together as he deepened the kiss. He sensually touches your thigh while you moan into the kiss and he squeezes your thigh tightly in response. Looking around to see all the people still here when you pull away from him; you can’t fathom you just made out with Jungkook in front of all these goddamn people. You just lost all respect for yourself.

“You know I’ve always secretly had a crush on you y/n?” Jungkook admits, “I kinda like it when girls are mean to me. Or maybe I just like it when you’re mean, I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Let me show you how mean I can get then.” You reply, staring up at him with hungry eyes.

That cheesy grin never leaving his face as he hears you speak. The tension only grew thicker and he wasn’t about to waste another second.

“Sit on my lap.” He uses his hands to maneuver you and leans back in the chair.

You drunkenly stumble on top of him, feeling him against you. Your body heat raised through the roof but this time you were sure it wasn’t because of the liquor. You straddle his lap as you go back to hastily making out. His wandering hands kept slipping down to your ass to squeeze it and you were starting to feel dizzy from the way he was kissing you. You feel his touch under your skirt to play with you some more, not caring if anyone’s looking at this point.

“I don’t think we should be doing this.. not here at least. Too many people.” You say when pulling away from his lips.

“I really don’t give a fuck, it’s my party let them watch. Let’s put on a good show for everyone, yeah?”

You know this goes beyond against every moral you’ve had before. You’re about to do the one thing you told yourself that you’d never do.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Agreeing to go along with his narrative.

He lets you in charge now, letting you have full control over the way you get to ride him. You push your panties to the side and he undoes his pants to free his fully hard member. You didn’t realize how much of a nice cock he has, it was well groomed and had the perfect size/width.

“You have a really pretty dick, must I say.” You still can’t believe these words are being said to Jungkook.

“Thanks baby, I can’t wait for it to be in that pretty little pussy of yours.”

He drags two of his fingers down to your core and swipes in a circular motion, smearing the wet slick as he watches your mouth open wide with pleasure. His digits sink into your cunt harshly, pushing them deeper and deeper.

“Fuck! Your fingers feel too good…” you hid your face in his shoulder as he splits you open.

Your eyes hung low and your mind was hazy. Unable to think straight, you just wanted to feel Jungkook inside of you already.

“Need to fuck you nowww!” You yell, almost sounding a bit whiny.

“So do it then cutie. Come fuck yourself on my cock.”

He withdraws his digits out of you and licks the juices off them one by one. His grin would only get wider as you lowered yourself on his cock. You were so soaking wet you sunk down on him easily while resting your hands around his shoulders to brace yourself a bit before moving. Once you regain focus you slide up and down on his shaft nice and slow; making him bite his lip, moan, and curse under his breath.

“Your pussy feels so good… so tight… fuck..” his mind was going blank as you pick up a steady pace.

You were so out of it by now that you were bouncing on his cock in a frenzy. He roughly thrusted his hips back into you while you sloppily rode him. The way he filled you up felt like you were in heaven. You open your eyes for a second, forgetting that you were at a party. Almost everyone was looking at you, some people even took out their phones to record the scene in front of them. It was probably all the alcohol you drank but you didn’t even care anymore, you continued savagely riding him. You’re moaning louder as you slam down into him harder, pulling his body closer to yours. He loudly grunts from your walls aching around him, his cock was throbbing so intensely he felt himself wanting to burst already.

People were beyond shocked to see this happening, it was a wild party but they weren’t expecting all this. You try not to pay attention to everyone and focus on Jungkook so you can make yourself cum. Then out of nowhere, he spontaneously lifts you up while you’re still on his cock. Engulfing those large hands on your ass cheeks to keep you balanced and thrusts into you deep while he’s standing up. You had your arms wrapped tightly around him, you weren’t too scared of falling since he had a strong grip on you. You were taking his cock with each harsh stroke he gave, screaming out his name over and over so the whole party could hear it.

“Fuck yes Jungkook! Keep fucking me just like that, you’re so good!!” You could feel yourself coming close and so does Jungkook. Wet strands of sticky hair cling to his face from all the work he’s putting in, his eyebrows furrowed to concentrate solely on making you cum.

“Gonna cum on this cock for me baby? I feel you getter tighter ‘round me.”

“Yess, wanna cum on your cock so bad please!”

He was hitting all the spots in you just right, the slight curve of his shaft fit so perfectly in your core. Your mouth was back to being jaw locked again, feeling the heat wave of your orgasm coming through. It hit even harder when you were drunk, you felt like you were going to fall out of his arms but he noticed you slipping and pulls you up into a firmer grasp. While shutting your eyes you feel your release take over, cursing and moaning his name repeatedly like a broken record.

“I’m ‘bout to cum ….” He pulls out of you and sets you back on the lawn chair, “look up and open wide for me.”

You open your mouth eagerly for him, he gives his cock a few pumps before releasing his white creamy load into your mouth. You swallow every drop of his cum and stick your tongue out for him to show your empty mouth. He smiles at the pretty sight of you and goes in to kiss you once again.

“This is fucking insane!” One of the random people at the party says.

You recognize the person since they’ve been watching you from the start. To say that you and Jungkook left everyone at that party speechless was an understatement.

“You know people were taking videos of us right?” Jungkook says cautiously.

“Yeah… it’s probably going to end up all over social media now, if it hasn’t already. Oh well, like I care!” You shrug nonchalantly.

Oh you’ll definitely care when you sober up.

“Let’s get outta here?” Jungkook zips his pants back up and takes his hand out for you to grab.

You hold onto him and balance your wobbly legs to stand up. You were both severely drunk but he held his liquor way better than you did. For the rest of the night, the party continued and you ended up finding your friends. They soon found out about you were doing and how you fucked Jungkook in front of everyone there, they were all completely taken aback. You went from hating his guts to him destroying yours— guess that’s one way you can end a burning hatred for someone.

[artoodeetootired]

lowkey

📖 an f1 driver and a singer are both known for being beasts in their respective fields, but everyone knows they are ironically the shyest in reality- especially when it comes to attraction. they were hidden out of respect for their privacy, until they realised loving shouldn't be a secret.

💭 op!81 x fem!singer (smau)

🎧 lowkey - niki

🃏masterlist🃏

🫧“us in a king size, keep it a secret. say i’m ur queen, but i don’t wanna leave this lowkey.” 🫧

p.s (let's pretend the qatar and las vegas gp's are rounds 10 + 12 of 24 respectively hehe)

ynuser

Tagged: bsfuser

ynuser so... been kind of busy lately...

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, bsfuser, landonorris, and 715,069 others

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forynln U DISAPPEAR FOR 5 MONTHS AFTER UR LAST ALBUM AND POST OUTTA NOWHERE... girl u cannot keep doing this to us...

-> user1 lol watch her

-> user2 Bruh stfu she literally gave us a god sent album made of unicorn shit she doesn't owe u anything

bsfuser i hate you for telling me what's boutta go down but not let me say shit to anyone 😞

-> user3 it's ok bestie u can tell me, i won't tell anyone :)

ynluv How she is so different irl compared to her stage self still baffles me to this day.

-> user4 FR like wdym u gonna be busting out moves that get u viral then act like the sweetest creature on earth when u out here?? 😭

-> user5 duality go prr. she's probably the shyest celebrity i've ever seen.

-> user6 I can't believe she's an '03 baby.

gracieabrams omg ur orange cat

-> user6 car*

-> user7 car*

-> user8 luv u gracie

user9 orange suits yn so well

user0 lando is such a fanboy 😂

-> user| him and half the grid have been so consistent with promoting her LMAO

oscarpiastri posted a story 5m

Liked by logansargeant, landonorris, ynuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: would've been right next to u if stroll hadn't crashed again

mclaren: 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

user_: being very calm compared to ur reaction after lance's fiasco today LOL

logansargeant: LET'S GOOO

user@: wow our pastry posts after a century

alexalbon: oi why didnt you take lily's and my advice to post with yn's music if u asked us in the first place...

Twitter

Instagram

f1

f1 Our special guest performer and new partner for the 16th round on our calendar, Las Vegas, has been confirmed; a little fun before the racing begins! We bet you guys will like this one... 🤭

Until then, round 11 in Netherlands next weekend 🇳🇱 Stay tuned!

Liked by rihanna, katyperry, ynuser, and 795,392

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user! omg i have been waiting for this

f1forlife istg if they bring out the same performers as before...

fanacc the amount of singers liking this post is really fucking with us LOL

alexalbon hi f1 pls tell me u listened to us and booked the grid's voted fav 😸

-> charlesleclerc agreed.

-> maxverstappen1 agreed.

-> landonorris @oscarpiastri and i will boycott.

-> oscarpiastri mate i didn't even vote.

-> landonorris okay fine but u do like yn/ln right? ...right? 🔪

-> oscarpiastri ...

-> landonorris dw everyone osc's just shy no need to cancel him

-> danielricciardo 💃🏽

-> lance_stroll wait there was a vote?

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser

ynuser switch up

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 865,744 others

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forynln she's killing us and she knows it damn well

user pls just one hint 😭

user how do u feel about oscar piastri not liking u LMAO

arianagreenblatt gorg bestie 😩

user the aesthetic change is very sus

user ladies and gentlemen, the queen of singing, dancing, and gatekeeping

-> user the way we still pine after her and her whereabouts even though she is the most nonchalant pop girl out there

-> bsfuser she's cooking smth 🧐

-> frd2 yk smth dont u 🥸

2 weeks later...

Instagram

georgerussell63 posted a story 20sec

Liked by ynuser, f1, lewishamilton, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: why did i not see toto doing this????

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting u too 🤠

f1: You boys are very welcome

totowolff: George...

-> georgerussell: please don't fire me

landonorris: ok but did u see the way she looked at me??

-> georgerussell lando, u know full well she was looking at someone else

-> landonorris shut up :(

-> georgerussell i will not allow u to ruin her with ur playboy antics

-> landonorris EXCUSE ME

landonorris and f1 🔁

Tagged: f1, ynuser, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, maxverstappen1, and oscarpiastri

landonorris best. weekend. ever.

mini photo dump of the boys at the concert 'cause @ynuser actually performed for us 🤯🤯 we're such huge fans- it was epic meeting you!

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 2,993,840 others

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landonorris p.s. oscar loves her, he's just shy

-> oscarpiastri lando u idiot

-> logansargeant i can confirm ahem

mclaren we advocated for this very hard, just so yk...

-> user0 the gods (you) have bestowed us simpletons (seriously) with such a blessing (yn and mclaren interactions)

-> userl for the whole grid? the fans? ...or a particular someone? 🤭

ynuser epic meeting me??? bro i almost fainted meeting u guys and drivers i've been a fan of since i was 10 😭😭😭

-> bsfuser how was it omg

-> ynuser LOL definitely an interesting experience...

-> landonorris omg she replied 😭

-> georgerussell bro she called u bro

user_ im convinced theyre music drunk and not substance drunk here 😮‍💨

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser you all already know. this thread is as aesthetically chaotic as my mind rn.

thank you to my team for handling such a mess of me when since i got this invitation !! could not be here, or look this decent without any of u.

thank you to @f1 from the bottom of my heart. i've been such a fan since i was in nappies, nd you guys just made a dream of mine come true. from the races, new friends, to performing for such a crowd in vegas, it has been one of the most surreal weekends of my life. you all just know im gonna be clutching on to this partnership for as long as i breathe. nd congrats to @maxverstappen1, @oscarpiastri, nd @charlesleclerc on the podium ! until next time 🏎💋✨

(last slide is real footage of me meeting toto wolff)

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redbullracing thank you for stopping by our pit!

-> mclaren ok but she went to ours first

-> scuderiaferrari yeah... she liked us most though. should've seen her face when she walked in.

-> mercedesamgf1 you guys know she was a long-time mercedes fan before this right??

-> landonorris what is going on? (she definitely liked hanging out with us more)

-> logansargeant lol you're so delulu (laughed way harder with my group)

oscarpiastri thank you too! we should hang out again sometime soon

-> landonorris 'hang out' pfft sure

-> user omg oscar commenting on a non-f1 person's post??? a FEMALE nonetheless????

-> oscarpiastri everyone has to chill fr

bsfuser that’s MY BESTIE

-> user she is GLOWING

-> ynimagine mommy??? sorry. mommy??? sorry.

-> user she is SNATCHED WTF

oscarpiastri

Tagged: danielricciardo, ynuser

oscarpiastri 2nd in vegas! amazing job to the team for this accomplishment, daniel for his dedication, nd yn, who we're all still star-struck by. cheers! 🍾

(credit to @pierregasly's story for second slide)

Liked by ynuser, f1, danielricciardo, and 1,329,866 others

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user guys istg i was in the paddock the whole time AND i know what i saw. so when i say they hit it off really well...

user omg oscar even picked up on her 'nd' habit 😭

ynuser 🧡🧡🧡

-> user u are actually an angel sent from the depths of hell in the best possible way. the setlist??? the body and face??? the personality???

landonorris oscar you... 😨 when did u even go to the front of the stage for that last pic????

lewishamilton cute, flirty, teenage stuff and all but are we not gonna talk about danny ric

-> danielricciardo i think we should just go back to gushing about oscar's crush

-> carlossainz55 his crush??? what am i missing????

-> charlesleclerc the baby has grown up

bsfuser 🤨

f1

Tagged: ynuser

f1 yn appreciation post 🤍🤍🤍

Could not have asked for a better performer and partner to grace us with her presence this weekend 👏🏼

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 3,071,008 others

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user my timeline is EXPLODING

user converting f1 fans into yn fans too

landonorris slay

-> danielricciardo slay

-> pierregasly slay

-> alexalbon slay

-> lewishamilton what is 'slay'?

-> charlesleclerc slay

-> maxverstappen1 slay

ynuser thank u thank uuu

-> user9 queen what were u on tonight??

-> {user} not even her debut was this hype 💀

ynworld STEP ON ME

f1__grid bruh this is so unecessary... she clearly just wants attention

-> user# stay pressed ur favs like her more than u <3

Twitter

3 weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 10sec

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, maxverstappen1, and others

Replies

user: soooo wonder who took this photo 🧐

user: u guys got smth to tell us? ;)

alexalbon: why do u look depressed today

landonorris: where are u bro

user: what's ur fav yn song?

ynuser: im sorry i can't make it today osc :(

-> oscarpiastri: it's okay, best to let everyone cool down anyways. i'll see u next week?

-> ynuser: i promise :)

1 week later...

ynuser posted a story 30sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, oscarpiastri, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: ayeee my fav coming over to the pit today?

-> ynuser: i wouldn't miss it for the world 😸 plus fans are dying to know how u pick ur fashion sense out

-> lewishamilton: oh lord

f1: 🤍

landonorris: pls be kind with the question this time :(

-> ynuser: aweeee

-> ynuser: no.

oscarpiastri: wya??

3 more weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 16sec

Liked by nicolepiastri, mclaren, danielricciardo and others

Replies have been disabled

ynuser posted a story 37sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, nicolepiastri, and others

Replies have been disabled

1 month, 3 races, and 2 performances later...

~3 months later...

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri i can't take it anymore. since u guys have wanted to know, anyway.

you've been on my mind since the day i met you (nd yes, admittedly since lando showed me your music videos), nd then when i met you with the biggest crush, i quickly decided that you are one of the most talented, beautiful, kindest people ever. fuck all if i just got my first win, it wouldn't have meant anything without u. i can't have asked for a better partner in crime to wear my number at the races.

although we've been pretty great at keeping it low key these past few months to just family and friends, i wanna show you off, my love x

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oscarpiastri also, ty to the grid for keeping it private, nd yes, i will be treating u all for dinner.

-> danielricciardo LFGGGGG

user oh my god.

jennaortega the question is if she beat him at karting

-> oscarpiastri she did...

carlossainz55 i never thought this day would come

landonorris cant put both my happiness and bewilderment that you actually hard launched into words

-> georgerussell character. development.

user ONE OF MY FAV SINGERS BECAME MY FAV WAG TOO AHHHHHHHH

arianagrande y'all cute asf 😭😭😭

user I CALLED IT

-> user nah dont u lie we all thought we were lying to ourselves LMAO

bsfuser one wrong move and i’ll send stroll to do more than just hit u on track 😺

-> oscarpiastri ;-;

-> maxverstappen1 u could send any one on the grid to do it, and they'd be happy to

user they're so in love im bawling

landonorris just so u guys know, his three sisters steal her away from him every week to hang out LOL

-> oscarpiastri that was totally unecessary

-> nicolepiastri give the ppl what they want ossie

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ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser sike.

'orange suits yn so well'... damn right for him 🧡

this man has inspired me in too many ways, that aside from teaching me how to love and be loved. it's been pretty hard having all these memories, but not being able to live them freely because of the pressure. but i wouldn't do it with anyone else. so im gonna be 'showing you off' in my latest single, agora hills, coming out tomorrow night for my love's first win x

(to clarify, f1 has allowed me to take ONE side ONCE, so im not jobless :) ... yet)

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frd1 about fucking time

oliviarodrigo this is so cute omg

alexalbon ahem i think i should get some credit for being the ultimate matchmaker here

-> f1 actually, i think it all goes to us.

-> user 💀

logansargeant THE LAST PHOTO PLS SEND IT TO ME LMAO

gracieabrams omg him with her cat 😭😭

-> user gracie, luv, it's car*

-> user car*

-> sabrinacarpenter dw babes i don't get this shit either

user oscar first win AND yn new music AND hard launches from the softest ppl ever??? has the universe finally decided to bless me???

user they were literally meant to be

user what happened to the shy versions of themselves oml

tatemcrae the hottest, most sincere, and talented celebrity couple rn

bsfuser and i was there to witness it all 😌

-> charlesleclerc so was i

-> bsfuser i was first tho

-> charlesleclerc fair enough

-> landonorris i was there the most

-> bsfuser i was their couple counsellor

-> landonorris i was their matchmaker

-> alexalbon NO YOU WERENT

-> bsfuser i was first to find out

-> landonorris no you werent

-> landonorris right? @oscarpiastri @ynuser

-> landonorris RIGHT????

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ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser for u, ur first win, and to many more.

as an extra for u all, 'lowkey' is also out to show my progression from wanting to keep it a secret to having him make me scream his name <3 hope u love us as much as i do.

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user the caption???????????????????

user holy shit mother is mothering and father is fathering because never have i ever heard her make a track with sm detail about her partner in it...

-> user FR like where did the two of them go?? almost 8 months but they come back like they've aged a decade

-> user NO CAUSE WTF is 'suck a little dick in the bathroom, who that man with the big strong hands'???? miss yn??? are the both of u feeling okay????

-> user you'd think introvert + introvert = coma, but ig double negatives still apply here

dojacat bitch these tracks SLAP

user okay but osc's guns 👀

sza god, when will this shi happen to me?

mclaren All ur songs on repeat in the paddock.

-> mercedesamgf1 It's true, all the teams agreed

-> redbullracing (the only time we all agree)

user how tf did we get bashful yn and blushing osc to... this??

-> ynuser life's full of mysteries.

landonorris i miss the person i was before hearing these two songs...

-> georgerussell it's true, as big of a fan i am of the two of u, some things are meant to stay between ppl...

-> charlesleclerc i am not saying anything, which means i can get invited to the wedding, yeah?

-> ynuser yes.

-> oscarpiastri yes.

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a/n: as u can probably see, i lowkey gave up half way cause i never realised how much work this takes :,)

[yunhoszn]

(this is user sourkimchi pls don’t perceive me on main lmao)

i saw another user post this abt this hongjoong fit and it’s been living in my head rent free…

as a fellow asian rave bisexual.. i need a fic for this concept 🫣

(not so) alcohol-free

PAIRING kim hongjoong x f!reader

WORD COUNT 3.46k

GENRES fluff?﹒smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, clubbing scene, reader feels self conscious, mentions of alcohol, strangers to lovers?, ummmmm hardly any plot tbh half of the wc is porn, couch sex, little bit of foreplay (vaginal fingering), some marking here and there i think, cowgirl position, missionary, protected sex, allusions to multiple rounds of unprotected sex, not beta’d or proofread bc we rawdog this shit like men

SUMMARY notorious for canceling plans at the last minute, you finally let your friends drag you out for a night at the club. however, a chance encounter with the prettiest man you’ve ever seen has the night turning to something unexpected.

MORE AAAAAAND i finally finished my first request LOLLLLL here u go yves!! i kinda strayed away from the main idea bc i wanted to make it my own, but i hope this meets ur expectations <3

@atzhouse

You had a natural affinity for canceling plans at the last minute. You’re not sure why, especially because you always get an awful case of FOMO every time you do. It’s your own fault that you feel left out when your friends get together without you.

No matter how far in advance you plan for the event, you somehow still find a way to lose your motivation to go. You haven’t properly hung out with your friend group in months, so when they start talking about clubbing tonight, you immediately say yes. 

At first, you think you’ll change your mind an hour later, since it’s only an afternoon’s notice. But when you realize your friends will be here to pick you up in thirty minutes and you’re finishing your makeup, you nearly jump for joy. You successfully stuck it out for once. 

Even as you’re sandwiched between Wooyoung and Mingi in the backseat, San in the drivers’ seat and his girlfriend in the passenger, you’re still shocked that this is your reality. You’re actually dolled up and you’re actually on your way to a club right now. 

“Y/N, do you remember the signal if someone hits on me?”

“Wooyoung, no one’s hitting on you.”

“Shut the fuck up, Mingi. It could happen.”

You snort, pulling your skirt down a little. “Woo, we should come up with a signal for if I get hit on.”

“Yeah, Y/N’s more likely to get laid than you are even though she’s bitchless, too.” Mingi nods, adjusting his sunglasses. (You have no idea why he’s wearing sunglasses at 10 PM.)

“Kill your—”

“We’re here!” San announces, effectively putting a pin in any argument that was about to begin. As long as your friendship with the males spanned, he’s always been the mediator. You’ve known the three of them dating all the way back to high school, lumped in the same homeroom your freshman year. The four of you sat in the same general vicinity and got grouped together for a project once and you’ve been inseparable ever since. 

You know you look hot, Wooyoung wolf-whistling at you the moment you started walking towards the car, but you still feel a bit insecure. It probably has everything to do with the fact that you don’t go out much and you’re self-conscious as is. Stepping into the crowded club, a scene that could only be compared to a sardine can, has you shrinking in on yourself. 

Instinctively, you tug on the hem of your skirt to attempt to cover your ass a little more. Then you wrap your arms around your midriff, though your cleavage leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. You swallow thickly as your trail behind your friends, like a lost puppy with its tail between its legs. 

This is why you always back out of plans. You feel so out of place, like you don’t fit in even when people try to include you. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, waiting for one wrong move so they can point and laugh like you were the butt of some sort of weird joke. You’re ready to go home. 

“Are you okay?” Mingi asks once you’ve settled at an empty high table just a few feet from the dance floor. Through his stupid sunglasses, you can make out the concern on his features. 

“Yeah, I think so,” your lips purse, arms hugging yourself tighter. “I just haven’t been out in so long. I feel… like I shouldn’t be here or something. I’ll be fine. I hope.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, but doesn’t ask any more questions, instead turning to San and his girlfriend who were about to make a trip to the bar. Your poison for the night is simple, a plain margarita that’ll ease your nerves more than anything else. You weren’t much of a beer person, often opting for fruitier, sweeter drinks in comparison to your male counterparts. (When you do go out with them, that is.)

Wooyoung and Mingi fall into a heated discussion about who knows what, leaving you to become a third wheel while you wait for the couple to come back with your drinks. You people-watch to pass the time, chewing on the inside of your lip, your eyes flitting around the club like some kind of guilty criminal. Almost immediately, they land on a guy in the middle of the dance floor. 

He’s hypnotizing, body fluidly moving to the song the DJ’s playing and matching the energy of his friend standing next to him, two girls in front of and facing them. His dark hair falls into his eyes slightly, though parted and styled damn near perfectly. He’s dressed in a black tweed jacket, a white button up left open enough to reveal a couple necklaces resting on his sternum, some ripped jeans, and black boots. But none of that is what caught your attention. 

You’re entranced by his smile, its brightness and how fucking pretty he looks wearing it. You caught the tail-end of something his friend said that made him laugh, and you feel yourself being pulled in deeper and deeper without a single conversation with him. Too bad he seems unavailable. 

“Woah, N/N, might wanna wipe your chin,” Wooyoung teases, a stupid smirk on his face that you want to punch away. “I think you’re drooling a little.”

Mingi howls with laughter, falling onto the table to support himself. He clutches at his stomach as it cramps up from how hard he’s laughing. It wasn’t even that funny. You roll your eyes. 

“Shut up, Wooyo.” 

“Who are you even staring at?” He inquires, resting his elbows on the high top surface, his chin placed on his hands. He blinks at you expectantly, like he’s not letting you off the hook. You avoid his gaze, simultaneously ensuring that you don’t look in the attractive stranger’s general direction either. This all felt so elementary. 

“None of your business.” You murmur, ducking your head. Thankfully, San and his girlfriend return to the table with your drinks perfectly timed, and the topic is dropped completely. 

The first sip of your margarita is damn near heavenly, the alcohol flowing through your system smoothly and calming that storm waging in your mind. It’s not too strong, just enough that another couple drinks would inebriate you entirely. It aids with the anxiety of being in such a packed space, but that feeling of not belonging still sits inside your chest. 

You can’t help but look for the stranger again, who’s no longer on the dance floor. Now he’s on the other side of the club at another high table. His friend is still with him, but the girls from before are nowhere to be found. You focus on his hands and the chunky rings on his fingers, the way he holds his beer bottle, the way his free hand runs through his hair. Your tongue twirls around the straw in your glass out of habit, enthralled by this man who has yet to give you the time of day. 

Except when you glance up to admire his face, you discover that he’s already looking back at you. He’s nodding along to his friend’s words, but his eyes are zeroed in on you, a different kind of smile playing on his lips. Your features fall slightly from being caught red handed, cheeks warming up significantly. You aren’t sure what’s more embarrassing, caught gawking at a stranger by your own friend or by the stranger himself. Truly, the universe was out to get you. 

You down the rest of your margarita and excuse yourself to go to the restroom, needing a second to gather your bearings. Your skin is flushed and you have to hold your cheeks between your palms as you psych yourself up in the mirror. Why should you feel ashamed of thinking someone’s hot? You were only human. Besides, you looked good, too. 

When you exit the restroom, you’re shocked to see the stranger walking out of the men’s restroom at the same time. Your eyes are wide and your body freezes. He gives you that smile from before, ruffling his hair as if this interaction wasn’t difficult enough. 

“I was hoping I’d bump into you,” he says, unabashedly drinking in your figure. “It’s not everyday someone as gorgeous as you crosses my path.”

So he’s a flirt. Noted. 

“I could say the same,” you manage to get out, though your palms are already clamming up. “If fleeting glances across a dance floor count as crossing paths.”

He laughs and you swear it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. A couple girls come into the hallway, and you maneuver so they can go into the women’s restroom. His hand comes to rest on your lower back when your balance wavers slightly. 

“I’m Hongjoong, by the way,” he introduces himself since he’s in such close proximity to you now. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, too distracted by how much prettier he is only inches away from you. “I’d like that.”

Hongjoong leads you to the bar, a gentle hand wrapped around your wrist so he doesn’t lose you in the crowd. He orders himself a beer and turns to you to ask what you’re having. While waiting for the bartender to whip up your drinks, he strikes up a conversation. 

“Are you gonna tell me your name?” 

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. “Oh yeah, sorry… It’s Y/N.”

He repeats it, like he’s testing out the taste in his mouth. The smile that graces his features afterwards says all you need to know. It has butterflies flapping around rampantly in the pit of your stomach, nearly knocking the wind out of you. He thanks the bartender seconds later when he slides your margarita and his beer bottle across the bar. 

“So, Y/N, what brings you out tonight?” He takes a swig from his bottle, one arm leaning onto the surface of the bar. God, the things you would do to him if given the chance…

“Catching up with my friends,” you answer honestly, baby-sipping your margarita through the straw. “I don’t really go out much, because I’m really bad when it comes to canceling plans at the last minute.”

“Should I consider myself lucky then?” Hongjoong quirks a brow, licking his lower lip. If men had anything, it was the audacity. And this man had the audacity to do everything in his power to lure you in with his good looks and charisma. 

“I’ll have you know that this is a one of a kind, once in a lifetime opportunity,” you play along, stirring the slowly-melting ice cubes around your glass. “You’re a very fortunate man.”

“Yeah?” He laughs again and you think you might faint right here and now. He looks off to the other side of the club and then back at you. “I think Prince Charming over there is looking for you.”

He points at the table where your friends are, and you find that Wooyoung is glancing around in search of something, or someone. Namely you. It’s most likely because you went to the restroom and then never returned. He’ll live. 

“Wooyoung? Nah, he’s just being a good friend. I raised him right,” you turn back to him, sipping at your drink leisurely. “Now where were we? Something about you being lucky?”

“Hwa, I’ll— shit— I’ll have to call you back,” Hongjoong forces out, promptly hanging up so he can focus on putting you in your place. You’re like a damn leech, lips attached to his neck, marking the supple skin like it was your job. Your hands paw at the button of his jeans, your lower half grinding down on his lap. “So fucking impatient. Can’t even wait until I’m off the phone?”

“Want you too bad, Joong,” you pout, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, his jacket lost somewhere near the front door. He groans when the nickname falls from your mouth. You had no idea how sexy you were.

The two of you were so insatiable, you couldn’t even make it to the bedroom, collapsing on his couch. You hardly had the mind to message your friends to let them know your whereabouts. His hands hold your ass firmly, halting you from any further teasing. You whine, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. Your nails drag down his toned abdomen, enjoying the way it tenses beneath your touch. After all he’s put you through tonight, you think you at least deserve a bit of payback. Just a bit. 

“Are you too antsy to make it through foreplay?” He coos and presses a quick kiss to your lips, trailing a few along your jawline. Your eyes flutter shut with a hum and a nod. It was true. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you feared you might go insane. 

“I need you inside me already,” you whine, trying to spread your legs and create more friction downstairs. He chuckles at how desperate you are, how touch starved you must be considering you don’t get out much. It fuels his pride knowing he’s the only one to see you like this, to have you like this, for the first time in who knows how long. If he’s successful, maybe he’ll be the only one ever. 

Hongjoong bunches your skirt around your waist, sneaking a hand between your bodies to rub tight, gentle circles into your clothed clit. A blissful sigh escapes you, your forehead dropping to his shoulder. The cocky smile you’ve grown to adore over the course of the night decorates his lips at how quickly he has you falling apart at his fingertips. 

His middle and ring digits push your underwear to the side, sliding down your slit to prod at your entrance. He nips at the base of your throat, working his way up to the spot behind your ear. Your sighs grow into whimpers, squirming around on his lap when he applies pressure to your cunt with the pad of his middle finger. 

“You’re so wet, sweetheart,” he mutters into your skin, shivers running down your spine from the low register he uses. He circles his digit around your hole, not quite giving you what you need. “You weren’t kidding about how bad you wanted me.”

You’re about to quip back, but then he’s inserting a finger and rubbing your clit with his thumb. You gasp, biting down on his collarbone to ground yourself. As much as you would love to sit here and let him finger you until sunrise, you have bigger priorities. “Mmm, Joong, please… Fuck me, please…”

He kisses his teeth, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. He supposes he can satiate your hunger, though he really wanted to take his time with you. “Do you think you can be still while I put the condom on?”

You pull back and nod enthusiastically, sitting on your haunches slightly, fingers locked behind his neck. “I’ll be so good, I promise. I just need you, like, now.”

All he can do is laugh, and you melt into a puddle in his arms. You’ve concluded that smile of his would quite honestly be the death of you. He removes his fingers from your pussy, instead squeezing your hip before helping you onto the couch cushion beside him. You rest on your knees as he unbuttons his jeans and kicks them off, swiftly grabbing his wallet out of his pocket and plucking a condom from it. In the same breath, he’s taking off his underwear and tugging you back on top of him. 

He places the foil packet between his teeth so he can quickly aid you in the discarding of your panties. Now that your cunt is bare, you can feel the heat of his cock and it’s so hypnotic. Your eyes can barely stay open as you watch him tear open the condom packet and roll it on. He’s the perfect thickness and the perfect length, and you feel so special straddling his lap right now. 

Hongjoong kisses you softly, gripping your waist so he can guide you to sit on his cock. The first breach of your entrance has a shaky exhale leaving your lips against his own. You stay like that for a second so you can adjust to the feel of him inside of you, the fullness in your lower half, and overall just how fucking good it feels. He grins when you slowly start bouncing up and down, his dick thrusting in and out under you. 

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” He pecks your cheek, moving downward and reaching behind your back to untie your halter top. It slips off of you with ease, revealing your tits to him. 

“So good, Joong… Feels so good,” you arch into him, whining and moaning every time he brushes that crook in your cunt that has you seeing stars. He peppers kisses all over your chest and sternum, scraping his teeth along the skin of your breast. You whimper, nails sinking into his back and your toes curling. You’re completely aware of what’s going on, but those two margaritas have to be contributing to the pleasure swirling in your abdomen. 

“Yeah? You’re taking me so fucking well,” His eyebrows knit together when you switch your pace, sitting on him fully and letting his cock fill you for a couple seconds. In reality, your knees were starting to ache and get tired, something he recognizes instantly because he was so attentive. 

His hand holds the small of your back and he flips you so you’re in missionary on the couch now without skipping a beat. The change in position allows for a change in angle, his dick dragging against your velvety walls deliciously. Your sounds grow in volume, scratching his back when he pushes one of your knees to your chest. 

You weren’t anticipating to end up here at the end of the night, but you don’t think you could dare complain. While a majority of this night felt like a fever dream, you feel a high that’s never taken over you before. 

Hongjoong’s hair falls into his eyes as he glances down at where your bodies meet, his cock disappearing inside of you and then sliding out with ease. You intertwine your fingers behind his head, pulling him down so you can connect your lips in a fervent, passionate kiss. That familiar summit is within view now, your hand nudging his own to your clit so you can inch closer towards it. 

His thumb swipes side to side on the sensitive bundle of nerves, never once breaking your kiss. There’s so much stimulation going on for you, you’re starting to feel dizzy. In a good way. He’s gentle in a way that’s still rough enough to knock the daylights out of you and the juxtaposition makes the moment all the more enjoyable. 

“‘M so close, Joong,” you arch off the sofa in an attempt to be closer to him, to sandwich yourself between him and the couch. 

His thrusts become faster and more calculated, but he doesn’t break the focus on your clit. His efforts come to fruition and he mumbles words of encouragement for you as you finally reach that boiling point. A strangled moan falls from your mouth and you spread your legs to suck him in further. 

The uncontrollable fluttering of your walls following your climax is almost too much for him and he has to pull out. Your eyes are half lidded, nimble fingers rolling off the condom. He fucks his fist until he’s painting the area between your tits with his cum.

The two of you don’t move right away, regaining your composure. He leans down to kiss you sweetly, and then repeats the action all over your face until you’re a giggly mess. This is probably the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, and part of you doesn’t want to go home— whether that be later or tomorrow morning. 

“Do you have the energy to go again, or should I go grab a warm washcloth to clean you up?” He raises an eyebrow at you, indicating that he’s just joking but he’s totally down if you are. You laugh, running your fingers through his hair. 

“If you give me a minute, I’m all set to do that again,” you start, resting your eyes for a second. “You don’t have to worry about a condom this time. I kinda wanna feel you raw.”

Hongjoong laughs in disbelief, glancing away from you and then letting his forehead fall onto your shoulder. “What have I gotten myself into…”

© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost. 

[golden-barnes]

Operation milkshakes, hospital visits and custody of Mr Bear

Paring: Beefy and Teacher! Bucky x milf! reader Summary: Sequel to Operation get Mr Bucky and Momma together. Bucky and Reader are finally on their little coffee date, but Amaya gets hurt. Then there's a shared custody to heal a broken arm. {wc: 2.7k} Warning: a bit of bucky being insecure again and a bit of insecurity from reader . Some sexual references bit of tension but its mostly fluff. Amaya gets hurt but it's brief. if you don't like a milf reader pls don't interact I don't want to get hate like last time lmao a/n: I have been writing this for years it seems and I finally am able to finish it and I'm so happy I hope you guys enjoy it. I am gonna try and finish all of my stories this month to be able to do other stuff. I am so sorry if it's shitty as hell, I tried my best to fight the writter's block Reblogs and comments are appreciated.

Is Bucky embarrassed that he has been texting none stop with his student’s mom? Yes, but who will stop him from feeling like he is walking on cloud nine? For the past few weeks, Bucky has been texting you back and forth whenever you had a break. 

Unfortunately, you haven’t been able to get that cup of coffee because of work, but Bucky knew he had found his match. Funny, intelligent, and the sweetest person he has ever met. 

Fuck, I feel like a love-struck schoolboy. Bucky thinks, cursing at himself while passing the exam papers to his students. Amaya smiled at him, basically giving him a knowing smirk. Holy shit, he feels blackmailed by a 6-year-old. 

She has no idea that Bucky and her mom are on a talking stage, but that doesn’t stop her from smirking at her teacher, who her mom has told her auntie that her teacher was cute. And that was enough for her already planning your wedding where she gets to be a flower girl. 

 Bucky sat down at his desk when he felt his phone vibrate. The notification had your name on it, almost making Bucky jump out of his seat. 

Hey, one of my clients canceled for Friday. U wanna get that coffee? 

Bucky couldn’t seem to write yes faster. He felt so happy, but shit, what was he going to wear? His closet comprises of henleys and sweaters. The occasional tank tops are there, but they weren’t the norm. He dresses like a middle-aged librarian, and he is proud of it. But, on the other hand, maybe he was overthinking it.

“Dude, it’s a coffee date. Not a Michelin restaurant.” Steve rolls his eyes at Bucky’s rant. Bucky told his best friends about inner turmoil and why he was so stressed. Sam just laughed at him.

“We don’t know about that one Rogers; she is a fancy lawyer for a fancy firm. She’s probably making the big bucks.” Sam winked at Bucky, which made him feel even more stressed. 

What if they dated, and she felt embarrassed to show him to her lawyer friends? He is on a New York Public school salary, it’s a miracle he has enough money to live alone, but he was going to be rooming with Steve. 

“Sam, stop torturing him, please. I can see the smoke coming out of his ears.” Wanda explained, heating up her lunch and smirking at her extremely stressed friend. 

“He is just so fun to mess with.”Sam whined while Bucky couldn’t help but scoff. 

“I am glad my suffering is your enjoyment, but I am about to run away to New Jersey and live as a hermit because I haven’t been on a date since college, and I have no fucking clue what to wear. Help me.” Bucky rambles, almost out of breath. Sam bites back a chuckle while Steve just looks worried. Wanda sighs; being the only person with brain cells in the teacher’s lounge is difficult.

“Bucky, wear that brown blazer you wore at my engagement party. Maybe a blue henley underneath. You did say she thought you looked hot in those, so who cares, honestly. “ Wanda Maximoff, the voice of reason to these messy elementary school teachers once again. 

Bucky should stop asking these things to Sam and Steve and just ask go directly to Wanda. 

(Y/N) wasn't doing that great either. She really liked Bucky; he was a hot guy but caring and smart. He made her laugh with his dorky quotes and references. He was well-read and gave her excellent book recommendations. 

More importantly, Amaya loved him. Every day she would show up rambling about something he had done in class that made her very happy. Whether it was telling her a funny story using Mister Bear, Bucky’s teaching assistant that Amaya adored, or handing her a fruit roll-up when the other kids weren't looking. Bucky was her favorite teacher, but it mostly felt like he had taken a father role that she needed.

One thing that made her stress out was how she was perceived. She had been on dates before, and every time the men went home running with their tails between their legs after feeling threatened by her confidence and career. 

Being a single mother and a powerful lawyer really fucked over her chances of dating. Apparently, knowing your worth and what you want doesn’t make you that appealing to men, especially these insecure, fragile masculinity-having assholes. 

But Bucky seemed different; he knew she had a kid and an influential career and still wanted to date her? He was different. 

“You still overthinking this date?” Her coworker and close friend, Jen, asked her. Nat rolled her eyes, knowing (Y/N) like the back of her hand. 

“She has been making a pros and cons list on her computer for the past hour. Girl, he likes you. No grown man texts you romantic quotes at 3 am without sending a you up? Text.” Natasha rambles but (Y/N) sighs. She knows what Nat is saying is correct, but still… She didn’t want to make things awkward for ‘Maya. 

“She has it really bad, but he seems so sweet. It’s just a coffee date; get to know him in person.” Jen tried to comfort her. She patted her shoulder, sorta giving (Y/N) a side hug. 

“Now on to date outfits. I say a plaid skirt and a sweater. The skimpiest skirt you have.” Nat grins evilly. 

“It’s a coffee date, not a hookup.” (Y/N) laughs at her suggestion. 

“Whatever you say, but that man’s shoulders are so broad that it wouldn’t be surprising if your legs were on them after the night.” Nat shrugs, but (Y/N) and Jenn laugh at the sexual joke. 

“I am trying not to give Maya a sibling yet.” (Y/N) threw a piece of paper at Nat. 

“Yet is the keyword in that sentence.” Nat winked at her comment. 

Bucky was shifting his weight on the chair. They had decided to meet at this cute little café that opened about a month ago. It was right next to a bookstore that Bucky loved so much, and coincidently (Y/N) took Amaya a lot to get her story time books. 

“Sorry I am late; traffic was horrible.” Bucky swore his breath was stolen from his chest because the minute he saw her, he felt like his lungs didn’t have air. 

“I- uhm, I get it. You look beautiful, by the way.” (Y/N) smiled at his compliment while sitting right before him. 

“You don’t look bad yourself.” She winked at the teacher, who started sweating bullets once she began to compliment him. 

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress asks the couple. (Y/N) nods while Bucky just looks puzzled at the menu. She smiled at him.

“Give us a minute, please.” (Y/N) said kindly. 

“Do you have any idea what you are going to order? If you don’t mind me asking?” Bucky asks sheepishly, but the woman just smiles. 

“I am dying to try this plum strudel, especially since Maya isn’t here to steal my pieces. And I need a milkshake.” (Y/N) explained; Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.

“Amaya is a bit of a sugar fiend, isn’t she? I can’t even eat my fruits in peace without her looking at me as if I stole them from her.” Bucky joked, (Y/N) rolled her eyes because she knew her daughter.

“It’s not a shocker. It’s practically my fault. When I was pregnant with her, all I did was eat candy. I have a sweet tooth, but she’s like a sugar monster.” She explained, reminiscing all the pregnancy cravings she had. Bucky laughed at her comment. 

“You sure you don’t want coffee?” Bucky asks all of a sudden. Finding it weird that she is ordering a milkshake at a café. She shook her head.

“Oh god, no. It would be my 5th coffee this day. I’ve had back-to-back meetings, and every meeting has a coffee run. Then there’s the coffee between every 15-page contract I have to write.” Bucky chuckles because that seems like he is the same in a completely different way. 

“I get you. After grading my 10th paper, I’ve already drank 3 cups of coffee. My record is 7 in one day. I was planning on getting the milkshake too.” Bucky joked, (Y/N) laughed. 

“So we are two coffee addicts on a coffee date, but we aren’t gonna drink any coffee. Got it.” (Y/N) smirked at Bucky. He felt his ears getting red. Suck it up, Bucky; she hasn’t even said anything sexual. She is just being funny. Bucky said to himself. 

“It appears that we are. I hope you don’t mind, but I’mma order the same thing as you. I love plums. My ma makes the best plum pie I’ve ever eaten.” Bucky rambled, trying to stop himself from buckling under her gaze. Suddenly (Y/N)’s phone rings. 

“Hey MJ, what’s up? Oh what? I am on my way.” (Y/N) hangs up, her face turns somber, and her eyes are filled with tears. 

“I am so sorry, Bucky, but I have to go. Amaya fell, and the babysitter told me she won't stop crying. Her arm might be broken, and I must take her to the hospital.”  She says, gathering up her purse. She was shaking, trying to stand up, but her legs were shaking. Bucky stands up to help her. 

“Can you drive?” (Y/N) shook her head, worried because Amaya was always careful. She runs around like any normal kid but is ultra-cautious about getting hurt. Bucky extended his hand, and she grabbed it. 

She gave him the directions to her house so Bucky could drive her home. She hadn’t really said anything during the entire ride; Bucky didn’t know what to do, so he did what he did best. Ramble on.

“You know I broke my arm around the same age. But mine was in a fight.” Bucky said, which got (Y/N)’s attention. 

“Back when we were kids, Steve was the smallest kid in our classroom, and there was this kid named Tom; he kept pushing him and making fun of him. So one day, I stood up for him and decided I could fight Tom. I should mention that Tom was 2 grades above us, so anyway, he pushed me so hard that I fell. Broke my arm and wasn’t allowed to go to recess anymore. My teacher, Sally, knew that Tom was a bully and got me a lesser sentence.” Bucky told her. She smiled.

“So you were a troublemaker as a kid. Kinda like my ‘Maya.” She joked, smiling, talking about her little girl. 

“Oh, Amaya is a little angel in comparison to me. She is manipulative as hell, but she’s a sweet kid. Takes after her mom.” Bucky complimented. (Y/N) sighed at his compliment. 

“I tried my best. It’s not easy, you know. Being a single mom. Sometimes I think I don’t do enough and that I am never there, but-” 

“Listen, I have been a teacher for a while now. I have seen parents who don’t care and never show up for their kids. You aren’t one of them. I know for a fact that every Wednesday, you take her to a museum or an interactive place. You are her person, and I think you are a fantastic mom. “ Bucky interrupts. He grabs her hand, and she squeezes it. Bucky parks in front of her house. Her big ass house. He keeps forgetting that she is, in fact, a well-paid lawyer. 

Amaya did indeed have a broken arm. Bucky had to carry her to the car and into the hospital. He even sat with her when she was getting her X-ray while (Y/N) talked with the doctors. 

“I wish all dads were like you.  You really made this a lot easier for her.” The nurse said, looking directly at Bucky, who was holding a very tired Amaya. Bucky felt his ears getting warm. 

“I’m not her dad.” The nurse scoffed at Bucky’s correction. 

“Could’ve fooled me with how she’s so attached to you.” She noted. (Y/N) walked into the room with the doctor.

“Hey, ‘Maya.” The little girl in Bucky’s arms stirred at the sound of her mom’s soothing voice. (Y/N)’s eyes were puffy, probably from crying at seeing her baby in pain. Bucky wanted to hug her and Amaya, but he couldn’t really move with a child in his arms with a broken arm. 

“The doctor needs you to sit on the little table over there to check you out.” (Y/N) said, which caused Amaya to slightly shake her head and grip Bucky’s arm with her non-broken hand. (Y/N) looked at Bucky in the eyes, almost pleading with him to help. 

“Amaya, if you sit there, you’ll get to take Mister Bear for the entire month.” Bucky wasn’t new to bribing kids, it’s sometimes the last resort, but Bucky knew how much Amaya loved Mister Bear. The little girl smiled weakly and turned to look at her doctor. (Y/N) smiled at Bucky, she mouthed him a thank you. Bucky was sure his cheeks were glowing red.

“Please, Mister Bucky, sign my cast.” Amaya said, giving him a pen to sign her super bright pink cast. Finally, she calmed down after they put the cast on her, and she got to pick a color. Then, they returned to (Y/N)’s house, where MJ, the babysitter, was still in the place, worried for little Maya.

Bucky laughed, signing his name on her cast and adding a roughly made butterfly. Amaya giggled at the butterfly. Bucky didn’t even notice (Y/N) walking towards them. 

“How are we gonna do the custody for Mister Bear?” She asks, noticing that Amaya is walking towards MJ so she would sign her cast. 

“Well, I use it as a teaching tool, so I have to have it during the day.” Bucky explained. (Y/N) nodded.

“And I can’t pick up Maya this week because I am in court all day.” She added. 

“I can bring him over after work if you want. “ Bucky suggests. (Y/N) extends her hand for Bucky to shake it. 

“I can agree to that, Mr. Barnes.” She said, smiling at Bucky. 

Bucky could die right now, and he would be happy. But who would’ve known that a ruined date could be saved by a shared custody agreement of a teddy bear with a 6-year-old? 

For the past week, Bucky brought Mister Bear for Amaya to play with. After giving the girl the bear, he wouldn’t leave the house. Oh no, no. (Y/N) would give him food, and he would even eat dinner with them. They talked for hours about shows, movies, their childhoods, and just everything they could think of with a glass of wine. Amaya would go to bed, and they would stay up talking, even if they had to wake up early. 

Bucky and (Y/N) had told Amaya that he was staying over for dinner in exchange for Mister Bear because saying, “Hey, mama and your teacher like each other a lot, but you can’t tell anyone” is too much for a 6-year-old. 

What they didn’t count for was that Amaya was too smart for her own good. She knew it was strange that Bucky stayed for dinner and that her mom would wear her “special” perfume whenever Mister Bucky came over. So is this how she’s gonna get a dad? And all she had to do was break her arm. 

Bucky was talking to Steve when Amaya approached him with a book. Both men turned their attention to the little girl with the bright pink cast. 

“Mister Bucky, Mister Bear and I want to read this book tonight. Could you bring it over later?” Steve’s eyes widened, and he turned to his best friend, bewildered by the revelation made by the kid. 

Bucky nodded, trying not to speak because he felt like Steve would have a heart attack if he had verbal confirmation that he was going to (Y/N)’s house every day. 

“James Buchannan Barnes, are you sleeping with your student’s mom?”Steve whisper-s creamed once Amaya was out of hearing range. 

“I am not sleeping with her… We just eat dinner together, and I bring Mister Bear for Amaya. It’s our custody agreement.” Bucky tried to explain, but Steve looked like the vein on his forehead would pop. 

“Fuck Bucky, you are in deep shit now,” Steve whispered. Wait until Bucky tells him he is utterly in love with his student’s mom. Oh shit, what?

[jahayla-parker]

hiii! Hope ur okay. I’m so happy to see you’re back being more active!

can I request a Freddy Carter and his sister reader pls? thank u! x

Hi!!! Thank you lovely! I’m starting to feel a bit better 🥰

Here ya are!

Comedic Carters: Freddy Carter x Sister!Reader

Description: SMAU, Freddy and his sister engage in more playful banter via Instagram.

Warnings: jokes and playful ‘insults’

liked by freddycarter1, yourbffname, amitasuman_, and 662, 916 others

yourusername: partners in crime 😘

view all 54,789 comments

freddycarter1: 😑 we talked about you leaving the house with no trousers on

yourusername: har har you’re soo funny 🙄

carolinemford: gorgeous girls ❤️

yourusername: thanks Car 🥰

yourbffname: damn right 😎

freddycarter1: Why are you doing a photoshoot in a parking garage?

yourusername: Why are you still here? Get off my post 😑

freddycarter1: I will when you edit the photo to show you with trousers on, smh. You’d think at your age you’d know you have to be fully dressed when going out

yourusername: You’re older than me Freddy 🤨 besides, I have shorts on thank you very much; now leave ✌️

freddycarter1: shorts typically go past your bum y/n y/m Carter 🫣

carolinemford: Freddy, leave your sister alone, she doesn’t need your bantering on her Instagram

freddycarter1: @/carolinemford darling, I love you but I don’t need her post on my Instagram 💁🏻‍♂️

carolinemford: Freddy

freddycarter1: fine… it’s a decent photo of you and y/f/n. 🙄

yourusername: I know 👸🏻

liked by carolinemford, yoursername, amitasuman_ and 874,256 others

freddycarter1: pov: your face when you find out they’ve canceled season 3 of Shadow and Bone…

view all 134,354 comments

yourusername: we riot tonight!

amitasuman_: 💔

yourusername: That face though 😬

freddycarter1: pretty smashing bloke huh?

yourusername: Let’s just say that I’m very glad @/carolinemford was drunk enough to say yes when she did 😝

carolinemford: lmao y/n, be nice

lbardugo: 🖤

liked by carolinemford, freddycarter1, amitasuman_ and 743,992 others

yourusername: 🦋

view all 234,981 comments

yourbffname: mwah, you’re so beautiful

freddycarter1: It was so tempting to shove you in

yourusername: @/carolinemford wouldn’t let you 😌

freddycarter1: 🙄

carolinemford: 💙 I have the prettiest sister in law

yourbfname: wow darling! 😍 you’re so gorgeous you made me forget my pickup line

freddycarter1: @/yourbfname who are you & why are you flirting with my sister? 🧐

yourusername: @/freddycarter1 Freddy!

liked by carolinemford, yourusername, kittheyounger, and 783,526 others

freddycarter1: Happy Birthday my darling ❤️

view all 278,329 comments

yourusername: and here we have the stunning birthday girl, looking gorgeous as always 😍 meanwhile my brother is looking in the wrong direction 🤦‍♀️

freddycarter1: Neither of us were looking at the camera 🙄

yourusername: Yes but, I get why Car’s looking at something else, however you had your radiant wife right there and yet you’re looking elsewhere smh. 👎

carolinemford: lol I love you @/yourusername ❤️

amitasuman_: I love this photo!

kittheyounger: Happy birthday Caroline!

carolinemford: Thank you my dear ❤️

liked by freddycarter1, yourbfname, amitasuman_ and 875,238 others

yourusername: How did I manage to land a modeling gig with @/vogueuk?! 🤩

view all 158,257 comments

amitasuman_: wowww ❤️

freddycarter1: killing it sis, but the real question is did you manage to not trip in those heels? 😏

yourusername:… I may have … I may not have.. I don’t think it’s any of your business

carolinemford: @/yourusername ignore him sweetie, we can make him try to wear a pair and see how hard it can be 😉

yourbffname: @/carolinemford I’m here for this!

vogueuk: we’re excited to have you on the team!

yourbfname: Good thing I just bought life insurance cause you made my heart stop 😘

freddycarter1: keep it in your pants mate

carolinemford: @/freddycarter1 Leave him be 🤦‍♀️

liked by carolinemford, yourusername, freddycarternews and 732,875 others

freddycarter1: Little preview of my upcoming project: Recursive Dreams.

view all 188,237 comments

yourusername: I suppose I’m very excited for this.. but I do still miss Kazzzz 😟

freddycarter1: So do I ☹️

carolinemford: ❤️

freddycarternews: This looks great!

yourusername: Why do you keep getting cast in these types of roles?

freddycarter1: Because I’m talented, obviously

yourusername: hmm no, that can’t be it 😝

kittheyounger: can’t wait for more information mate!

liked by carolinemford, freddycarter1, amitasuman_ and 774,250 others

yourusername: Can’t tell if my friends love it or hate it when I get a new camera & have to photograph everything to try it out

📸: @/yourbfname

view all 134,354 comments

freddycarter1: you got a new camera without consulting me?

carolinemford: @/freddycarter1 she’s a big girl Freddy lol 🤣

freddycarter1: @/carolinemford it’s just rude is all I’m saying

yourbffname: It’s a mix, but as long as I look good in the test photos it’s fine 😉

yourusername: shut up, you always look good 😘

tommyae: I miss you, come visit soon? ❤️

yourusername: miss you too! unlike someone else’s behavior in my comment sections, this is the correct brotherly response 😊

freddycarter1: The difference is I see you all the time @/yourusername

yourusername: @/freddycarter1 Lucky you 😌

liked by carolinemford, yourusername, tommyae, and 975,236 others

freddycarter1: I’m a pretty princess 👑 #butmysisterisprettier

view all 225,916 comments

carolinemford: the prettiest princess there ever was 😘

yourusername: hmm, not bad.., but you need to learn to accessorize more; really make that crown pop ✨

freddycarter1: omfg how did you get into my account?! Yn! @/yourusername

yourusername: I have no idea what you’re talking about Freddy.

yourusername: It’s rude to accuse someone without cause you know 😢

yourbfname: The Carter family truly is full of pretty princesses 🤣

yourusername: we are huh? Thank you babe 😘

amitasuman_: This is great 💀

Taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @alex-kazbrekkersimp @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @el-de-phi

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[sethsclearwater]

request: hi! I know u just wrote some paulxreaderxseth smut but do u think u could write one where both of them are actually engaging on it at the same time with her and also with some long aftercare? 🥺

warnings: smut, dom!paul, dom!seth, sub!reader (everyone is super soft with reader in this), more smut

notes: this trio is my favorite thing ever, also seth, paul, and reader are all 21+ (don’t cancel me pls lmao)

word count: 4.21k

…

you had been at emily’s all day, anxiously waiting for the boys to get back from their long-awaited battle with victoria’s army. paul and seth agreed it was best you stay at emily’s because of how worked up you were over the whole thing. when you realized what was going on you’d tried arguing with them to stay back and it had turned into the first real argument you’d had with either of them. after attempting to ice them out, you quickly realized neither of them were going to budge so you gave up and decided ignoring the whole thing was your next best course of action. 

ignoring it turned out to be much less effective than you thought it’d be. you were up pretty much the entire night before, causing seth and paul to be up with you too. it wasn’t until seth convinced you to take some benadryl to knock you out that you finally fell asleep . the next morning you’d woken up at emily’s house, realizing that the boys must’ve brought you over there while you were sleeping and left for the battle. you weren’t too happy about it but emily, brady, and collin were welcome company. 

after convincing brady and collin to shift so they could tell you what was going on, you found out that they were quite literally in the middle of the battle which only made your anxiety worse. seeing your distress over the whole thing, emily had given you some herbal tea and some of the anxiety medication sue had prescribed you to help calm you down which didn’t do too much but it did cause you to fall asleep on emily’s couch which you’d guessed was arguably more effective. 

you weren’t sure how much time had gone by but when you woke up, seth had your head in his lap, gently stroking his fingers through your hair. you hummed, rolling onto your back to look up at him, a bit hazy as you tried to figure out what was going on, “hey pretty girl,” seth murmured, “emily said you got yourself all worked up today.” he said softly and you nodded, knuckling your eyes blearily as you tried to wake yourself up a bit more.

“where’s paul?” you asked softly, turning to scan the rest of emily’s living room and not seeing him, or anyone else for that matter. 

“he’s okay,” seth cooed, “just bringing the truck over to billy’s, should be back in a minute.” he reassured, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

you sighed softly, taking seth’s hand and anxiously fiddled with his fingers, knowing your anxiety likely wouldn’t go away until you saw paul was fine for yourself, “is everyone okay?” you whispered after a moment, and seth sat up, taking a moment too long to answer.

you looked up at him anxiously, “what happened?” you asked, squeezing his hand a bit as you tried to encourage him to answer you quicker.

seth took a deep breath, “jacob got hurt. everyone else is fine though.” he explained, “he should be fine. that’s where everyone is at right now.” he said, easily anticipating your next question. 

you went to ask another question but the sound of the door opening and closing caught your attention and you tilted your head to look over. paul entered, letting out a heavy sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair before noticing you were up. you felt a weight lift off your chest as you saw him, not realizing how anxious you were about it until you saw him. “hey princess,” paul cooed when he realized you were up, stepping over to you and crouching in front of the couch.

“paul,” you whimpered, reaching your hands up and wrapping your arms around his neck so you could pull him closer to you. 

“‘m right here princess.” paul cooed, “you feeling better?” he asked softly, easily sliding out of your grip so he could look at you, scanning your face for any reaction he could gauge. 

“mhm,” you murmured, “jus’ tired from all the medicine.” you explained softly and paul nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

paul paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking up at seth where they exchanged looks with eachother that you couldn’t quite read, “is he okay?” seth asked paul, who didn’t have much else to offer besides a shrug. 

“they’re resetting everything now. not much anyone can do.” paul explained and you looked over to him, still not totally sure what they were talking about.

you grabbed paul’s hand, tugging at it lightly to get his attention, “resetting what? seth didn’t tell me anything,” you murmured, both boys letting out sighs. 

“he just broke a few bones.” seth explained softly before paul added, “nothing you need to be worried about. you’re gonna make yourself sick if you keep freaking out like you have been.” 

you normally would’ve argued with them but you were feeling too drained so you just let out a sigh instead, nodding your head in defeat. paul offered you a small smile before seth broke the silence, “you wanna go upstairs and lay down in the spare bedroom? emily wants you to stay here tonight.” 

you nodded, sitting up so paul could pick you up, quickly wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you upstairs to the spare bedroom. after setting you down on the bed, you grabbed his hands, pulling him so he stood inbetween your legs, “don’t do that again.” you said softly, referencing the battle and everything leading up to it. 

paul let out a soft sigh, nodding, “‘m sorry princess.” he cooed, “neither one of us knew you could feel the bond that much.” he explained softly, cupping your face in his hand and gently rubbed small circles on your cheek with his thumb.

after the pack witnessed how worked up you were about the boys going into battle, the elders had agreed that you felt the imprint/imprintee bond more heavily than the other imprints because you had two imprinters instead of just one. of course, this realization didn’t do too much for you because you’d already known you were feeling it more heavily but it did validate your “excessive” anxiety to the rest of the pack. 

seth stepped into the room before you had a chance to respond, offering you a small smile as he set down your pajamas on the dresser. you whined softly, reaching your hand out to him which he gladly accepted, quickly crawling onto the bed so he could sit behind you, pulling you so you could rest against his chest. 

“wanna put your pajamas on?” paul asked, turning to grab them but you tugged him back over to you, shaking your head. 

paul shot you a confused look, “want you two.” you murmured, looking up at him pleadingly. knowing what you meant, both boys acted on it, seth brushing your hair over your shoulder so he could press soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. paul slid his hands under your shirt, tugging it over your head and tossing it to the side.

you whined softly, grinding your hips down into the bed as you felt your nipples harden as the cold air hit them. paul chuckled when he noticed, quickly cupping your breasts in his hands and rolling your nipples between his fingers so you were mewling at his touch. seth’s fingers slid under your shorts and panties, quickly finding your clit and rubbing tight, slow circles against the sensitive bud. 

“seth making you feel good kitten?” paul asked softly, teasingly and you whimpered, biting your lower lip  as you nodded. seth let out a breathy laugh, dipping one of his fingers into your heat, “you wanna cum on his fingers?” paul asked, rolling your nipple between his finger in an attempt to get your attention.

you whined, nodding, “yes please-” you murmured, knowing paul would likely encourage you to use your words before allowing you to cum. seth pressed a kiss to your shoulder to praise you for your words, adding a second finger to your heat and gently scissoring them to stretch you out.

you mewled throwing your head back against seth’s shoulder, “good girl,” paul cooed, “there ya go,” he continued, seth curling his fingers in you against your sweet spot which had you letting out another breathless moan, “cum on his fingers kitten.” paul cooed, rolling your nipples between his fingers again and seth pressed another kiss to your shoulder, sending you right over the edge.

paul coaxed you through your orgasm, praising you as seth pumped his fingers in and out of you as you rode out your high on his fingers. “such a good girl for us aren’t you?” paul mused, hooking his fingers around your shorts and panties, tugging them down with little difficulty so they could have better access to you.

in your post-orgasmic haze, you missed the silent conversation paul and seth had figuring out what to do with you next. you whined as seth’s fingers left your pussy, looking over your shoulder at him anxiously, “shhh…” seth cooed, chuckling softly at your distress, “c’mere.” seth murmured, shifting so he was leaned against the headboard, paul helping you lay down next to him. 

paul quickly got between your thighs, not missing a beat before he was sucking on your clit, eliciting a loud moan from you. seth chuckled, running his fingers through your hair, gently stroking your scalp. you whined, looking up at seth before reaching over and palming the prominent bulge there. “you want it?” he asked, nodding as you let out another low whine when paul dipped two of his fingers into your heat, continuing to suck at your clit. 

seth smiled, pulling his sweatpants down enough to free his hardened length, allowing you to quickly wrap your hand around it and pump him while paul continued eating you out, “you gonna cum on paul pretty girl?” seth mused, letting out a soft moan as you ran your thumb over his sensitive tip, spreading the precum around his tip as you felt your second orgasm of the night quickly approaching. 

you nodded, whimpering loudly when paul slid his fingers out of you and quickly replaced them with his tongue, knowing how much you loved the sensation of his tongue fucking you. you whined, reaching your free hand down to knot in paul’s hair as your other hand continued to gently pump at seth’s length. sensing how close you were, seth reached down to roll your nipple between his fingers just as paul reached up to rub circles at your clit, their actions quickly sending you over the edge to your second orgasm of the night.

you let out a soft moan, your grip on paul’s hair tightening as you came, riding out your orgasm as he slowed down. both boys’ touches softened as they brought you back to reality, “doing so good for us,” seth cooed, stroking your cheek with his free hand as paul got up, stretching his arms over his head before tugging his sweatpants and boxers off and kicking them to the side. 

“you think you can take both of us?” paul asked softly and you looked up at him confused, still bleary from the anxiety meds and two orgasms, “in your pussy.” paul clarified, pumping his cock in his hand as you thought about it for a moment.

you’d been begging them to try this with you for a while now but neither was interested because they were worried about hurting you so this offer from paul was a pleasant surprise. you nodded then, smiling excitedly, both men chuckling softly at your excitement, “okay, you promise you’ll say if it hurts?” paul asked as seth got up, also kicking his sweatpants and boxers off and to the side. 

you nodded, “promise.” you murmured, sitting up on your elbows as you responded.

“seth you have the lube right?” paul asked the younger of the two, seth nodding as he handed paul the bottle of lube you sometimes used during your rendezvous. 

seth laid back down on the bed, “c’mere.” he cooed, helping you straddle his lap, “so you’re gonna take me first, yea? and then we’ll see if you can do paul, okay?” seth asked softly, running his hands over your thighs as he patiently waited for your response. 

you nodded, happy they were letting you try this. using one hand to stabilize your hips and the other to grip his cock, he allowed you to lift your hips and line him up with your entrance, “good girl, taking him so well,” paul cooed as you sank down seth’s length, both you and seth letting out muffled moans at the pleasurable sensation. 

after a moment, you felt the bed shift under paul’s weight, and before you had a chance to look over your shoulder you felt his warm hand pressing inbetween your shoulder blades, “lay down on seth kitten.” paul cooed, allowing you to lean forward to you could lay down on your other boyfriend’s chest.

seth smiled, wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest, “what’s your safe words?” seth murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“yellow to slow down, red to stop.” you whispered, peeking up at him as he smiled, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“that’s my girl.” paul praised, squirting some of the lube onto his hand to stroke across his length, “okay i’m just gonna start with my fingers okay? you tell me if it hurts.” paul explained, running his free hand over your hips as he waited for you to hum in acknowledgment.

a moment later you felt paul’s lubricated finger against your stuffed entrance, both you and seth letting out sighs at the feeling. after spreading some of the lube around your entrance, he slowly pushed his finger into your heat, sliding in between seth’s cock and your tight walls. 

you whined, attempting to roll your hips down but seth stopped you, quietly shushing you as his grip on you tightened. paul thrusted his finger in and out of you for a moment before deciding you were good to take another finger. 

at the feeling of his second finger prodding at your entrance, you and seth both groaned as he slowly slid it inside of you, “feel okay?” seth asked softly, scanning your face for any signs of pain or discomfort. 

you shook your head, “feels good.” you murmured, peeking up at him and he smiled, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. 

paul gently scissored his fingers inside you then, seth letting out a low groan at the sensation and you letting out a loud whine, “doing so good,” paul cooed, pressing his lips to your hips as he continued to scissor his fingers to stretch you out. 

seth’s breathing hitched as your walls fluttered around him and paul at the feeling, “seth don’t even think about it-” paul warned, both of them letting out breathy laughs as seth tried to refrain from cumming inside of you. 

“paul-” you whined, not bothering to look over your shoulder at him, knowing he’d hear you and he just hummed in acknowledgment, sliding his fingers out of you. 

you whimpered, about to argue with him but seth quickly shushed you, “he’s coming pretty girl,” seth cooed and you nodded, letting out an exhale as you relaxed into seth’s chest, impatiently waiting for paul to finish lubricating himself for you. 

within a moment you felt the head of his cock brush against your pussy, his free hand coming down to rest on your hip and hold you steady for him, “you let us know if it hurts, okay?” paul asked and you nodded against seth’s chest, humming in acknowledgment. 

“good girl,” paul mused before he was pushing the head of his cock into your tight channel, all three of you letting out moans at the sensation. 

you buried your face in the crook of seth’s neck as paul pushed into you, taking deep breaths as you stretched around the two of them. “doing so good for us,” seth cooed, running one of his hands up your back to stroke through your hair. 

“there you go,” paul cooed as he bottomed out in you, both boys now fully situated in your pussy, both giving you a moment to stretch around them. “take some deep breaths.” paul encouraged, seth humming in agreement as you continued taking deep breaths.

having both of them inside you felt intimate in a way you didn’t even think was possible. you’d loved having sex with them each but having paul’s girth combined with seth’s length inside you all at once nearly had you cumming on the spot. 

“feeling good yet?” seth asked after a minute, voice tight like he was almost begging you to say yes, and you nodded, peeking up at him for the first time since paul had entered you. 

allowing yourself another moment to get more comfortable with the sensation, you asked seth, “does it feel good for you?” 

he nodded, “you have no idea,” he started, letting out another breathy laugh, “you feel amazing right now.” 

you giggled, walls fluttering around both men at the motion eliciting loud groans from both of them, “you can move.” you whispered, knowing how desperate all 3 of you were for some friction. 

seth nodded, pressing his lips to the crown of your head for a quick kiss before he planted his feet on the bed, paul being the first to pull back and thrust back into you, seth following the action so they had alternating thrusts.

you were a moaning mess as they got quickly into a rhythm, one of them consistently buried in you as the other pulled back to thrust, “fuck-” paul groaned, snaking his hand around your hip to rub your clit, nearly sending you over the edge right there. 

you mewled, rolling your hips down onto them at the pleasure, both boys letting out loud groans, nearly cumming right there. “you gonna cum on our cocks?” paul gritted out, both boys’ thrusts getting rougher as all three of you neared your orgasms. 

you nodded breathlessly, pressing your hands to seth’s chest and sat up a bit so you could push back on their cocks, all three of you letting out loud moans at the sensation, “paul-” seth groaned, warning him he was close. you didn’t see but paul nodded at him, beginning to rub tighter, faster circles on your clit. 

“there you go kitten, make a mess on our cocks,” paul encouraged, both boys clearly trying to refrain from cumming until you met your third orgasm of the night. you whined, right on the edge and, sensing how close you were, seth reached up, easily grabbing your breasts with both of his hands and rolled your nipples between his fingers sending you right over the edge. 

your walls pulsed around both boys, forcing them to come undone inside of you, all three of you letting out loud moans as you each came, seth and paul’s grips on your hips and breasts bruisingly tight as you all came. struggling to catch your breath, you laid back down on seth’s chest, seth quickly releasing your breasts and wrapping his arms around you and holding you close to him while seth and paul’s thrusts slowed as they emptied themselves inside you. 

“such a good girl,” seth cooed breathlessly, stroking one of his hands through your hair. you hummed, taking in deep breaths as you came down from your high. 

paul let out a soft sigh, pulling out of you slowly causing you to whine at the loss of him, “paul-” you whimpered, turning to look at him but he just chuckled, cupping your face in his hand and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. 

“seth’ll stay in you for another minute, right seth?” paul asked the younger male teasingly, seth letting out a breathy chuckle as he pulled you back down to his chest. 

“‘course i’ll stay in my pretty girl,” seth cooed, pressing his lips to the crown of your head, “you jus’ let me know when you’re ready and we’ll get you all cleaned up, okay?” he asked softly, patiently waiting for you to hum in agreement. 

paul got off the bed, pulling his boxers and sweatpants back on before heading into the bathroom, returning with a rag a few moments later. he sat down on the bed next to you and seth, leaning against the headboard as he gently ran his fingers up and down your side. 

“you ready to let seth go yet?” he asked teasingly after a moment and you nodded, looking up at him with a pout on your lips. 

seth smiled, gently lifting your hips up so he could pull his softening length out of you. you whimpered at the loss of him, anxiously looking over to paul who passed the rag to seth and lifted you off him, pulling you into his lap so seth could get up and clean himself off. 

“you did so good for us,” paul cooed, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “i love you.” he murmured and you giggled, peeking up at him.

“i love you too.” you whispered, leaning up so you could press your lips to his for a quick kiss. the bed dipped with seth’s weight, catching your attention and you turned to see him, now also wearing sweatpants.

“ready to let paul clean you up?” seth asked softly and you shook your head. you’d never been one for cleanup after sex, hating how overstimulating it was which paul and seth were all too aware of. 

seth chuckled, taking you off paul’s lap so he could sit you inbetween his legs, “paul’ll be gentle, right paul?” seth asked in an attempt to ease your worries. 

paul nodded, grabbing the rag from seth before situating himself between your legs. he let out a breathy laugh when he saw your overused cunt, “we really did a number on you,” he sighed, “she’s gonna need some tylenol in the morning.” 

you whined at the thought, looking up at seth anxiously who just pressed a kiss to your lips, “be a good girl for us, yea? just a little while longer.” he murmured and you nodded, a pout on your lips as you attempted to sit still, quickly giving up when you felt the rag against your thigh. 

“think you can sit still?” paul asked softly, running one of his hands over your thigh as he patiently waited for you to stop squirming, something the notoriously impatient man normally wouldn’t do. 

seth quietly shushed you, running his hands down to hold your thighs apart, “paul’s just gotta wipe you up so you’re not too sticky, promise you’re gonna feel better when he finishes.” seth cooed, both males letting out sighs as you whined as paul swiped the rag through your folds, attempting to clean their seed up from you as quickly as possible. 

“there you go,” seth cooed, pressing a kiss to your temple, both men trying to hide their chuckles as you whimpered when the rag grazed your very overstimulated clit. after a few more moments of overstimulation, paul got off the bed, tapping your thigh so you could close them. 

“did such a good job pretty girl.” seth cooed, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as paul grabbed your pajamas from the dresser. you beamed at the praise, turning your attention to paul as he helped you get one of his shirts over your head and your panties up your legs. 

paul grabbed his phone after he helped you into your pajamas, standing by the side of the bed as he read through his missed texts, “any updates?” seth asked him, opening his arms so you could lay down on his chest. 

“they’re coming back now. said he’s sleeping.” paul explained and you assumed it must’ve been related to the whole jacob situation they didn’t want you worrying about. 

seth nodded, turning his attention to you then, “you going to sleep pretty girl?” he asked softly and you nodded, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers, “we’re not going anywhere.” he cooed, anticipating your anxiety, knowing you’d be asking them to stay in a moment. 

“go to sleep kitten. promise we’ll be here.” paul cooed, both men knowing how badly you needed the sleep after everything that happened the last few weeks.

you nodded, yawning as you closed your eyes, resting your head on seth’s chest, not falling asleep until you felt paul get in the bed with you. 

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

alright antony and cleopatra let’s get it

part ONE! (which is just until wherever the intermission break is)

-choreographed prologue??? 👀

-TECHNO PROLOGUE!!! low key this is such a vibe

-“my boss is a manwhore”

-just let them have bed wrestling fights!

-ANTONY BYRNE??? DUKE VINCENTIO ANTONY BYRNE??? yaaaaaaaaaay

-i love them both already

-seriously they are such an amazing vibe

-the way he covers his face with a pillow when she teases him for blushing omg

-they are just so utterly besotted and it’s making me so happy

-ooh boy we have another soothsayer

-this has the same energy as the carmen card trio

-wait i feel like this actor playing one of the ladies in waiting was in troilus and cressida (edit: yes! it’s amber james! aka cressida and now charmian!)

-cleopatra fully just said “i’m out i’m not talking to him right now” lol

-well that just happened (fulvia is dead!)

-somebody give antony a hug pls

-enobarbus what are you doing

-“I CAN’T DO THE HONEYMOON PHASE ANYMORE”

-she is just so. utterly. brilliant. and. so. MUCH. and i love it

-“eternity was in our lips and eyes”

-oh wait this is the scene from this play they did at [area shakespeare company’s] founder’s retirement party

-their energy is so much and i love it

-“Sir, you and I must part, but that’s not it/Sir, you and I have loved, but there’s not it…”

-soundtrack continues to pop off

-octavius: insecure about masculinity

-octavius wants to cancel antony and lepidus isn’t so sure

-YAAAAAAAY PIRATES OF PLOT CONVENIENCE! (okay maybe just plot spice but whatever)

-okay we fully just skipped a scene i guess (from the few lines i skimmed it looks like “cleopatra and her girls do edibles”)

-okay so pompey is collaborating with Pirates Of Plot Spice TM?

-“okay so how do we get the boys to start fightingggggg”

-okay we’re jumping back to cleopatra and her girls doing edibles

-love the music and love the mardian dude

-“where’s my serpent of old Nile?…now i feed myself with most delicious poison” so uh. about that.

-‘you’re not mark antony’ lolol

-not sad or merry but a secret third thing

-‘charmian that was LAST play’

-the boys are fightingggggggg

-‘i didn’t say i wouldn’t, i just didn’t do it’ mood

-“That truth should be silent I had almost forgot.” OOOOOOOOH

-oh this is definitely a great idea /s

-oh hey it’s the barge speech!

-he’s just a boy who cain’t say no!

-“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale/Her infinite variety.”

-sleepover at agrippa’s!

-LUCY PHELPS OCTAVIA??? (so the duke and isabella did get married in an alternate universe then)

-“i will definitely, 100%, not cheat on you” yeah it’s act two i’m not putting it past you

-no one ever listens to the soothsayer

-FUCKIN CALLED IT

-“Give me some music—music, moody food/Of us that trade in love.” 🤝 “if music be the food of love, play on”

-y’know, iras is so Not Even In This Play

-she is a QUEEN

-“But sirrah, mark, we use/To say the dead are well.” ross over in scotland, about to tell macduff his family is dead: *shuffles uncomfortably*

-i love their banter

-“you did NOT just say octavia was better at banging than me”

-oh she’s straight up beating him up

-“PLEASE DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER”

-she is Going Through It

-pompey: *gives very emotional speech*

octavius: …take your time

lmao

-BOAT PARTY

-so enobarbus and menas are besties anyway? i thought they were on opposite sides (which obvs does not prevent bestie relationships but yeah)

-enobarbus knows what’s up

-BOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAT PAAAAAAAARTY

-yeah lepidus words are hard

-menas has a Plan

-octavius: buddy i am Not Getting Drunk Tonight

-PLAY THIS IN THE CLUB

-Many Complicated Emotions Between These Two,

-antony, fully intending to ditch octavia at first opportunity: well this is awkward

-messenger: i can’t fucking believe i still have to work this customer service job even after getting beat up

-scoping out the competition

-uh oh. there are Political Problems

-GO OFF OCTAVIA (also this is just like blanche in king john)

-“The Jove of power make me, most weak, most weak, your reconciler. Wars ’twixt you twain would be As if the world should cleave, and that slain men should solder up the rift.”

-oh octavius is Big Mad

-“YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON YOU OCTAVIA” “NO I JUST WANT YOU GUYS TO STOP FUCKING FIGHTING”

-ooh did octavia just take her ring off 👀

and that’s intermission! this is GREAT and i would continue watching but it is also late and i am tired so…rest tomorrow!

[dwreader]

sorry but yall (you and your friends) have deluded yourself into thinking the show is gonna majorly deviate from the books, that louis is gonna be the main forever, daniel gonna die, marius or david omitted cause yall don’t like them or the show gonna get cancelled so loumand can be endgame. you’re in for a rude awakening when the show ends up just like the books and btw no one from the show has ever said louis would be a lead after this season. check the real quotes they NEVER said that.

anon sweetie pls show me where ive ever said those things would happen like u have me confused with other ppl i think lmao

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Omg lumberjack!Price is still such a lovely idea, you know he'd chuckle catching you staring while he's working. Enjoys when you stare but also can't help himself and will tease, asking if you see something you like or if you're trying to catch flies with that open mouth lmaooooo And you know I adore the demon!boys still, so much good potential with it all.

The aus I got stuck on most were mechanics!141 and the other one started as western!au and morphed into modern ranch/rodeo circuit!141 cause a show called Ride became a bit of a guilty pleasure while I was sick lmao bull rider!Si and bronco rider!Johnny? Yes pls. Gaz rides broncos too but is almost a specialist in steer wrestling. Kept bouncing back and forth on what Price would do. Part of me wanted him to be a seasoned bull rider turned coach while another wanted me to have him still riding and running the ranch.

Also I adore spicy food. I looooove spicy noodles sm lol I've been making do with normal chicken noodle tho and trying not to complain too much - 🐍

I love these AUs!! There’s so much thought behind them and I would love to hear more about it if you ever come up with more info.

Today was okay I’ve been drinking water but I need more lol. One of my classes got canceled today so there’s that. I hope you had a good day

Also don’t worry I’m not stressed. I’m not going to let people tell me what I should be doing on my blog

[rowan-guerrins]

sorry for popping in your inbox. but i figured it's easier for people to ignore rather than me @ them. please if you are willing, can you explain to me/i would love to hear your thoughts and comparisons of the warrior specs of lore vs gameplay. pls and ty.

hell yeah i can!!! i LOVE to yap

GAMEPLAY:

Champions are my favorite because:

FANTASTIC passives. The bonus to armor and guard (which, unless i am fundamentally misunderstanding something, can stack with armor and guard bonuses you can get from other skill trees) from Bulwark and Adamant are real tasty. They’re great for tanking— or even if you’re not necessarily tanking (which to me implies actively making sure you’re the one most/all enemies are going after), being able to sponge up all that damage is [chef’s kiss]. PLUS you get Resilience and Unyeilding… tasty tasty. The latter keeping you from dying is great in any circumstances, and the former’s ability to stagger enemies that hit you is— well it’s great in general, but especially if you’re tanking.

Line in the Sand’s crowd control fucking rules— being able to block choke points, or even just block some enemies & leave little room to get around you is great, especially if you’re the only melee class in the group (though it’s also great if you’re not). Both upgrade options are good— And No Further’s increased range is great (you’re even BETTER at keeping enemies from getting through), and Everlasting Barricade taking away cost and cooldown PLUS increasing its duration until you choose to cancel it allows for fantastic flexibility. It’s one of the (relatively) rare instances in which i like both possible upgrades relatively equally lmaooo.

To the Death is good in proper applications— I don’t tend to favor it (especially compared to other taunt options), but applied well it fucking rules, especially with the En Garde upgrade.

Walking Fortress my BELOVED. You, quite literally, can’t touch this with Walking Fortress activated. It’s great to cut through enemies or even to buy you time to knock back a health potion! Plus, with Seige Breaker, it’s kind of a two-for-one in that you can also build up some guard!

Counterstrike is admittedly one of my least favorite focus abilities lmao. It’s fine, don’t get me wrong! Immediately getting to full guard rules, though I find that with the right build it’s not hard to get there on my own. It’s a good ability (especially in that it blocks all melee attacks when active), I just generally like it less than every other ability in the skill tree lmfaooo

Templars

What it lacks in tanking, it makes up for in The Last Sacrifice, which heals up your party members and gets them hitting harder.

The bonus to damage against demons (from both passives and active abilities, such as Blessed Blases) is great because, well, you’re typically fighting demons a lot in game!

The ability to dispel rifts as a warrior… [chef’s kiss]. Everyone say thaaaank youuuu Spell Purge.

Templar’s passives are generally good tbh! ESPECIALLY There Is No Darkness, which gives you AND your party resistance to elemental and spirit damage (which stacks great with the resistances you get from Solasan, and which also is great if you can’t be fucked to go through Solasan lmfao).

The Breath of Light upgrade to Wrath of Heaven is pretty tasty.

Rally is a great focus ability— it ups EVERYONE’s guard and stamina/mana regen as well as gives some resistance to incoming attacks. Tasty.

Reavers

It’s less “I like Reaver’s abilities less” and more “Reavers go down FAST, and playing as or with one means I have to helicopter parent them to make sure they don’t die within five seconds against powerful enemies”. Mostly, tbh, this is felt in Jaws of Hakkon and the Descent (…especially Jaws of Hakkon). I don’t mind this too much for Bull, but it’s just not my personal favorite for a Warrior Quizzie.

It should be noted that while it’s my least favorite, I DO really like it and I think it’s a great option.

Blood Frenzy is a good balance to the fact Reavers (in my experience) take damage fast. I can up them when they go down, especially because the increased damage output as they’re going down is fucking great.

Ring of Pain giving you the ability to deal spirit damage is great— and Painbringer allowing it to move with you is even better.

The passives I haven’t named are solid, and again balance the fact you can’t really tank (at least as easily) as a Reaver.

I like Devour :) both bc well it’s nice to be able to self-heal some without downing potion or healing grenade, and also bc. well. fun to bite people :)

Dragon Rage is a gamble, but a fun one!

Rampage my beloved 🫶 aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you want to go apeshit? lmao jokes aside, i think it’s a good focus ability— you hit hard AND heal some. fantastic.

LORE/VIBES:

disclaimer: this is a lot more subjective than the gameplay stuff lmao. based more off my and/or a given Inquisitor’s personal reaction to the specializations and lore than, like, evaluating said lore.

Reavers:

…

… admittedly this is less because of any grand, sweeping, Actual Lore reason and more because i just really enjoy the idea of chugging dragon blood and making it your enemies’ problems. like the Actual Lore is cool! but mostly i’m like haha Blood Time :) especially because we don’t have blood magic in inquisition :(

I think its focus on you hitting harder the more you are hurt is really fun to think about outside of a mechanical sense (although it’s also real fun in a mechanical sense)— like, it can give some fun flavor to a Reaver Inquisitor. their rage is quite literally fueling them and i think that rules! yes i like barbarians in D&D why do you ask

I first played DAI as a warrior and Reaver sounded the coolest of them all. I read absolutely nothing on the abilities. Breaker Thram sold me with the description alone, which i think counts for something

Champion:

Lost some points for being based on Chevalier stuff and i fucking Hate Chevaliers

That said! Wins back most if not all of these points because you’re Not a Chevalier. You’re stealing their shit. and it’s always ethical to steal from a Chevalier!

I like being able to look Gaspard in his bitchass eyes and be like “I have honor and all the abilities you do and i didn’t have to be racist to get all that. you suck”

A lil’ classist which I don’t Love. very “ooooh nobility”. [blows raspberry]

That said. the codex/description… my MY that’s tasty! it being an honor AND a responsibility… the fickle nature of fame… well it’s neat in general and also i think it’s really thematic for the Inquisitor.

still doesn’t win tho bc rahhhh dragons (if i didn’t have that initial reaction to reavers at the age of like fifteen champions would be #1 over reavers)

Templar:

well simply put I don’t much care for Templars*.

Most of my Inquisitors are not very Andrastian & allied with the Mages so it just doesn’t make sense for them to then go “well forget literally everything i’ve said about mages, templars, and the chantry, i’m going to be a Templar”

Even ignoring that (because the abilities are tasty, and an Inquisitor might validly choose this specialization for that reason alone)…

Risking (is it risking if it’s a near certainty?) a lyrium addiction is just… not a price most my Inquisitors would pay. especially after seeing what it does to cullen (though you might not get to that cutscene until after you’ve already committed to the specialization).

but yeah again. just don’t like Templars. vibes are bad all around.

* some (rare) exceptions apply.

FINAL RANKING (because why not!):

Champion

Reaver

Templar (because I don’t care how good your abilities are, my pro-mage ass WILL be throwing tomatoes at templars!)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I love how ur like hyenas diary😍😍 but tbfr it’s like watching icarly angst LMAO pls don’t cancel me

ICARLY ANGST IS CRAZY UR EVIL???

[agaypanic]

honestly, that 90s show isn't that bad! of course it'll never hit like the original but personally i like the different elements they add. and i absolutely love the new cast, i think they just need time (i fully believe this next season is that time) to build up the character chemistry.

getting to see a taping of the first ep of season 2 was also amazing, the cast is so sweet and i feel bad abt the unnecessary hate they get tbh. they are funny and work well with each other

i think it's worth giving a try though! as long as you don't spend the time constantly comparing it to the OG show, you'll have a good time watching. and the new cast does a phenomenal job at capturing the 90s essence too.

(personally Jay kelso has my heart, mace coronel captures the kelso genes so fucking well it's insane.)

and even if you weren't to care for the new cast (which is lowk a crime) the reoccurring characters from t70ss are also cool to see and fit like they never left.

(lmao sorry for the whole ass essay i am just an avid t70ss and t90ss enjoyer and love to encourage ppl to actually take the time to watch t90ss without being so negative.)

i think i might just be autistic bruh (pls no one be like “don’t self diagnose” “blah blah blah”. not only do you not know me or how i act irl, but autism and many other disorders are under researched in women compared to men and it is therefore a lot harder for women to get diagnosed and/or taken seriously) i have such a hard time watching new shows/movies. i think ive watched malcolm in the middle (im literally malcolm y’all, he’s me and im him) and that 70s show at least 4 times each in the past few years

i think that’s partially why i don’t watch many spin offs or reimagines of shows/movies (only exception i can think of rn are those hercule poirot movies, they slap) like i still need to watch chilling adventures of sabrina but not only am i too busy to invest myself in a show like that, but i also really liked sabrina the teenage witch and i know the two shows have very different vibes (don’t tell me i have to watch it, im already planning on watching it lol i just don’t know when😭)

considering it’s getting a second season instead of getting canceled like other netflix originals (or that 80s show pffft) shows that it’s a pretty decent/well received show. and based on the trailer for the show i know ill probably like it. i just hate change🥴

[bigmack2go]

Continuing my parents guides

As allways: if you are a parent, DO NOT use these. Im begging you save your child the embarrassment. This is only for educational purposes and so you know what we are talking about when we use these.

That being said imma teach u the months to you now. Dont u dare interupt me i know u know the months. But u dont. So stfu. (Haha did u do ur homework? Do u know what stfu means?)

Okay lets go

So January is new starts and shit thats not something that only we do

February is honestly nothing special. Maybe we make fun of it being short like we do woth our friends but even that isnt very common

Now march, march is where the fun begins. March is when caesar was murdered. We usually have a bunch of phineas and ferb memes. Its also womens month.

In april spiritual people, religious people etc often do what imma simplify to you as „recharge“. Theres also a whole lot of complaints about the weather so theres that.

I honestly dont think may has anything special but i have adhd so i might be forgetting smt major rn lmao

June. Listen, we love june. June is the month of the ✨guh-guh-guh-gaAYS✨. (June is pridemonth)

And in july we complain that companies only use pride month for promo.

August. Im gonna be honest im not really objective on this bc its my birthday in august so thats sortof the only thing august stand for to me lmao. Its summer tho, i can say that

Ooo the embers… this is gona be great

September usually gets roasted for being bisexual(?) in september the most people get cancelled (2024 is an exception prolly)

Oktober is the month of creativity. Its not actually lmao i just said that. Because in October we usually make a bunch of art challanges (or other challanges for each day. And then we put „tober“ at the end and tadaa. Inktober! Costober! Fotober! And all that. That originally began bc well obv october is helloween month right? Right. So they did this thing called spooktober. Which can be each of those, it just has to be scary yk? And because America is weird and they do halloween wrong (/hj) they just don’t always use the spook and instead make whatever tober. (This whole explanation was a joke. Pls dont cancel me) and then theres hell week

Now hold your horses and settle your seatbelts for november cuz dis gon be a hell of a ride. It’s honestly actually not that much. Its just one thing but you’re gonne be a little disturbed after it. So november is NNN which is short for No Nut November. Boys chllange themselves to not masturbate or do anything sexual for that whole month. I have no idea where that came from so dont kick me. Its not my fault. Anyway youre gonna see a whole lot of people setting their profile pictures to eggs. Now ik i said its only one thing but see- it is one thing. The eggs are related to that. A whole egg means they still havent „lost“ nnn. A broken egg signals people in comentsections to pay respect to their fallen brother/the fallen soldier (youre gonna find some of both brother and soldier) also when i said we love the tembers its because some people make variations of this in september oktober and December too. Idek

December is basically just Christmas.

ByyEEE