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[yoiasaarchive]

Tao, Kinari, and the 'String of Fate'

— ;; a post where i basically just yap about them. (can be interpreted as /p or /r but i wrote it without shipping in mind)

Spoilers for the entirety of Chained Up Scarlet, Back to the '99 (Tao's Novel) and Memory Defrag (Kinari's Novel)

hi i wrote this because i really really like taokina/kinatao however u wanna spin them. its just a lot of hopefully sensible?? blocks of texts. i'll port this to my twitter too as a thread. that's all thank u. pls read under the cut with ur discretion :D

cws for talks of death, dehumanization, derealization, depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms etc.

The main appeal of the character pairing, at least to me, is the fact that everything that led up to their meeting and even their circumstances, just at all because of chance. Fate, even, if you'd want to call it that. I don't think they even have to be a romantic ship and is just an in general thing because I genuinely like the setup the writers did. Lore-wise, especially.

They, so far, haven't expanded on it but I have faith in the far future. Far, because I think I said one time that they feel like the kind of unit member combination that stands at the front of the gates of the boss room pair. (In this case whatever Raito & Kuguri have for lore is that final boss.) They've got that much in terms of connection and lore. 

What they have, at most: a dichotomously simple yet convoluted connection. That's all there was to it, and they'll only build their current relationship from there. That's what makes them interesting—that you don't exactly know what the future holds because they themselves have yet to discuss their /past/. And this is something that's actually relevant to Tao's currently ongoing arc: parsing through past events he wasn't there to live through and paving the way for his own future simultaneously. 

After all, he and Kinari in a way, were strung together by a single string of thread named Azekawa Kinari, the Original. For starters, both of them aren't particularly close to the apparent link that has a loose bind on them both. 

Tao was a classmate, maybe a friend but not more or less. He thinks of Kinari as somebody mysterious yet transparent, an enigma that he cannot seem to figure out even by simply interacting with. Even the words that he's said to him that stuck were something he had thought over for some time. They hung out over karaoke most of the time and were in the same class.

It's also pretty obvious that Tao, at least, before the main story has been suffering from derealization and treats everything as if it were a game. Wouldn't really blame him, suddenly being stuffed into a coffin by his own parents, then time traveled a little almost 60 years into the future. His very own world was flipped upside down and for the past 3 years, up until he got arrested, he lived on as an empty shell of a person. In that same regard, I wouldn't blame him for mistaking the Kinari of this era for the one he knew, going as far as asking /when/ he got there. In a way, he perhaps was clinging onto a sliver of hope that maybe this isn't his current /reality/, that seeing a familiar face just meant that this era he was forcefully thrust into may only be a dream of some sort. Still, it wasn't, and it took a few interactions to realize that something was off. 

Perhaps one way or another, there /was/ hope that /he/ was still amongst the living souls of this world. 

On the other hand, the android Kinari is a product of the Original's Father's grief. Because he cannot become that 'standard', Kinari thought of himself as a defective product. He's never met the original but retains the memory of him from his father's perspective. Specifically from the developer's perspective as he does not have the very person's memories. If he did, he'd have recognized /somebody/ the same way he did for 'him'. That's all there was to it, after all they were two separate people. Separate and yet their father loved them both the same.

Kinari has never met his original 'self', and never will. Unless it'll somehow be possible through seance or another rift in time the same method Tao was put through, all Kinari can heronforth rely on were the memories of his father and word of mouth. 

Regardless of that, who would have known that Tao would get arrested for theft the same night Kinari would then turn off his father's life support then turn himself in?

And in a cruel, perhaps kind even, twist of fate, they ended up on the same island prison, ended up surviving the audition—and became idols together. 

Tao can sing with Kinari again but it won't be the same because it's not /him/. The Kinari in this era is not the one from his, he's not the one he used to know. This Kinari wouldn't even think of pestering him about the card trick again and again. This Kinari would likely even willingly down Gozu's weird drinks without protesting against it. This Kinari would never ask what /he/ asked. He's already befriended the Kinari of this era to the point where there's a sense of comfort already budding between them.

He knows this very well. All too well, in fact. He's come to terms with it. He's gone, just like the rest of everyone else he'd known.

On the other side, to Kinari, Tao holds the memories his father cannot have. The original he knew, from his Father's eyes, is also an old friend of a friend. Through Tao, he could learn about the original through the lenses of others, not strictly limited to what has been uploaded into his memory bank. In a way, it further humanizes the original Azekawa Kinari as he no longer remains to be a /concept/ nor a /standard/. He was a person who had hobbies, friends, and his own wishes. From the moment that person's own voices and thoughts were relayed to him at that point, the words 'I don't want to die', and the question 'If you were to die tomorrow, what would you say to those you'd leave behind?' make perfect sense.

And Kinari wants to understand that. More than anything. If it's a clue towards the 21 grams of a soul he wishes to obtain, then so be it.

They both seem to have something they can gain from each other, yet say nothing about it instead. They choose to focus on what lies in front of them, and that's more than enough. What they have in the present is a blooming friendship and something as simple as that is already a really good setup in my opinion. In a way, it's a fresh 'restart', a 'do-over' from the past. (Although that doesn't really change the fact that they're separate people. So not exactly, as I've worded. Oops.) They'll be in the same unit from here forward, there isn't any rush or lack of time for a hopefully deeper understanding of each other from this present and into the future. 

I think it really is interesting that their entire premise is set on too many coincidences to count as such, that I started calling it fate and even "bound by fate". Can't really argue with it when you lay all of these events right here. 

This was also acknowledged in-game by Kafka himself. Knowing him, no matter how smart he is that he was able to predict that the other members of the group were to survive the audition, the final two slots were unfilled. The fact that both people had also survived the game by coincidence was not part of his plans, thus making their addition more 'interesting'. His words, not mine.

One more thing semi-unrelated, I still really wonder about the cassette tape in the first episode of CSU. If the developer truly has thrown away every last recording of his eldest son, then who was playing it? Will it be relevant or just a storytelling device that I unfortunately looked too far into?

Whatever the case! I really enjoy what they've built up with Tao and Kinari's connection so far. it's cohesive yet contradictory at some points. Clear and yet so shrouded in mystery at the same time. Kind of interested in knowing more about ori!Kinari more too if they'd ever go there. Primarily because I'm interested in hearing out what he had to say to the world.

It's really interesting, I like it. I hope others will come to like this character pair too. If you read this far, thank you for reading! I just really genuinely enjoy these two so much that I had to talk about it in longform writing. 

🤞HAMA NICE TRIP! 🤞

[alonelysimp]

Thoma... i will be having... so much fun w this... /s

This edition of the bias game will be hosted by myself and @marius-z​ ! It will start on 10/9/2021, at 6 pm (GMT +8). Good luck to everyone participating !

Keep reading

[tobi-momo]

You Belong With Me

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei x Reader GENRE: Romance | Fluff | Angst (?) | Comfort (?) | Mutual Pining | Slowburn | Confession WARNINGS: tsukki has a toxic gf | cursing | ooc? | implied infidelity (not you or kei) | prolly more sry WORD COUNT: 2k A/N: this fic is HEAVILY based off of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift- if you've seen the music video this is like it but my way 😌 uhh i hope you like it <3 oh also pls don't cringe it'll hurt my feelings

“What was she so mad about?” Your voice bleeds through his phone as he scribbles on his homework with his number two pencil, sighing at your question. He looks up briefly to his window to see you at your desk across your two properties’ filing the papers for your math class, organizing your work. Your phone is sandwiched between your shoulder and your ear, your eyes narrowed as you focus on what assignments are what.

“Kei?”

He shakes his head as his mind snaps out of the daze, his golden eyes flicking down to his work. “Uh,” he sighs as he re-grips his pencil, “I teased her a little bit and she got mad,” he finished. You chuckled before covering your mouth with your hand, finally looking up at the man through your clear panes.

“You’re kidding,” you giggle, a smile leading onto Kei’s face while he listens to your voice, although refusing to look up at your face, he shakes his head in a joking dismissal.

“No, I’m not. But we are never mentioning it again.”

“Oh, good luck getting me to keep quiet!” You shout as your back straightens against your desk chair, a smug look playing on your face once the blond male looks up at you.

He stands up, a reciprocating smirk laying on his lips before he says, “You will,” before he takes his phone away from his ear, pressing the “hang up” button and raising his arm to close the drapes. You laugh with satisfaction while you exit his contact, turning on some music and tossing your phone on your bed before cleaning up your area and strumming your fingers like an imaginary guitar.

He opened his curtains expecting to see you sulking while doing your work, only to see you dance like an idiot while you blast your music, your pencils acting as a microphone as you perform your concert in front of your stuffed animals. He could hear the music from across the yard, him identifying it as your shared playlist that you two made a couple years back, the duration over fifteen hours as about three-hundred songs reside. An accidental chuckle escaped him as his eyes rested on your jumping figure for just a couple seconds. It was for entertainment. Yeah. That’s it.

~.~.~.~

Sticking your fabric marker on the construction paper, you write out your message to Kei.

“I love you”. It was a message that would tell him that he deserves the best and nothing less. It was something that you treasured and wanted to share that value with him. Something that told him that he belonged with you.

You hoped that one day you’d be able to give it to him, to tell him how you really feel, to show that you can do a better job than her, but you never got the chance. Carrying the folded slip in your pocket, ready to pull out, his phone rings. As you sit on the bench on the side of the road, you wonder how long it had been since you had seen him really smile. You had made him smile a lot before, even if he doesn’t smile a lot genuinely, there are some times where real happiness seeps through his facade. You like it when that happens, always have. You noticed how much his happiness had reduced over the course of these last few months, though.

He answers the phone very monotone, very uninterested. He sounded obligated while he spoke to his girlfriend, sighing sharply once he hung up.

“What was that about?”

“Just drama. Kind of sick of it at this point.” He sticks his phone in his pocket, looking over to your concerned expression. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he says while rolling his eyes, placing a soft hand on your head and letting it rest. His hand retracted quickly when the sound of his name rings through his ears, his head whipping towards his girlfriend's figure. He readjusts his glasses, sitting straight up and swinging the strap of his school bag over his shoulder before he gets up and sluggishly walks across the street, meeting up with the one he was set to have a date with later. He subtly waved to you prior to turning his head away and continuing his stroll with his date hanging on his arm. You ignore the glare served your way when you wave back to him, forgetting the multiple reasons of why you wanted him away from her so he can enjoy his date. Hopefully.

~.~.~.~

As you stand on the bleachers of Kei’s game, you watch him stride over the court and jump to block the ball, a playful smirk residing on his lips as he sends the ball to the other side. You clap for him, shouting praises his way in hopes he might hear you over everyone else. Especially her. The screaming and unnecessary noise making your ears bleed a bit. You didn’t mean to be irritated by it, but the pulse on your forehead and the grit of your teeth made it painfully obvious you didn’t really like her.

When the end of the game hit, you were overloaded with joy at Kei’s victory. You hurriedly make your way over to him before gripping him tightly in a hug, not caring about the sweat that drips off his body. You could feel his arms flex as he raised his arms to hesitantly reciprocate your actions until his arms completely dropped, his body stiff.

“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath as he firmly moved you aside to walk away. Following after him, you let your head peek out from the side of his back, watching it all occur in front of you. “What’s this?”

“What? Nothing, Kei,” she mewls, setting her hands on her boyfriend’s shirt as if she thought he was silly.

“Yeah, we were just, uh, talkin’.” The man before her fibs.

“Not according to what I just saw,” Kei accuses the two with a furrowed brow, fed up. You come out from behind him, glaring at his girlfriend in hate. This was it.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” the man dismisses, turning to keep the conversation with her going.

Stepping forward, you place an arm in front of Kei, stopping his movements as you eye his girlfriend. “Tell me you were not just flirting with this man and we’ll leave.”

“I wasn-”

“Don't,” you pause, taking a deep breath as you watch her take a step back, “don’t lie to me, or you will regret it,” you threaten, a sharp glint in your eye telling her that you are oh so serious about this. Behind you, Kei watches as you make his girlfriend stammer on her words, a subconscious smile leaking on his face.

She stomps away with anger, the man beside her moving away as well, scoffing.

~.~.~.~

He didn’t say much on the way home; you trailed behind him as he walked away in part anger and denial. You didn’t really know what to say. Should you go back and find the girl and beat some sense into her? Should you give some words of the wise to Kei? Would he even take it?

As you watch him slow down to match your pace, you grow confused. You were headed to your place, so why was he suddenly following? “Kei?” He hums in response, his head hanging low. “Would you like to stay at my place? I can make coffee and we can stay up shit-talking our least favorite people,” you giggle and softly bump into his side, a stifled chuckle escaping him.

“Whatever,” he mumbles with an obvious smile as he continues to walk with you. When you quietly shut the door and take your shoes off, you softly tread to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine- the man that you took home followed, his arm planting on the marble counter as his eyes trail over your moving figure.

As you sit on the stool next to him beside your kitchen island, you converse about the drama he’s been scooped in, him rolling his eyes twice a minute and his irritation level going off the charts as he recalls the events. He hated it, you could tell. He made it pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about it, too.

“Are you still going to the dance with her tomorrow then?” You speak curiously, twirling your fingers around each other while staring blankly into the marble as you awkwardly sit there, awaiting an answer.

It takes him a second to respond, a long sigh and a deep thought coming into play in his mind once he looks over to your spaced expression. Does he really want to go? Did he want to go with her, or with someone else- you? “Probably.”

Oh. “Are you sure you wanna do that? After what happened today?”

“Why not. Nothing better to do,” he justifies, shrugging. Yeah, you probably should have seen that coming.

The note that resided in your pocket seemed to crumple a little bit when you came to terms with the fact that he may never notice you the way you wanted him to.

~.~.~.~

“Are you going?” Kei asks over his phone as he takes his suit out of his closet.

“Ah, no,” you breathe out as guilt pools in your stomach, your elbow balancing sitting on your desk while dozing off into something that is not mathematical equations.

“Oh,” is all he says before telling you he needed to get ready, giving his goodbye.

After the call ends, you see the light fading away from his room as he closes the drapes, giving you a sign to start working again. You wondered what would happen if you possibly showed up. You originally were going to go, but the date that canceled soon beforehand gave your mind a gentle squeeze, telling you that the dance wasn’t for you. Still, the tiniest urge told you to make an appearance. You groan in waver, giving in.

~.~.~.~

You felt good. You felt really good. Wearing your planned outfit to this dance, you make your way inside carefully, minding the crowd. You catch the eye of the one girl that you held a grudge against, watching her grope another man on the dance floor. You roll your eyes in disgust as you move your head around to find a tall blond in the crowd. He leaned against the wall across from you his arms crossed while his dilated pupils trace the light that bounces off the floor.

“Hey,” you greet him, his attention whipping to you as he raises his head.

“Hi,” he reluctantly answers you while standing straight up, a relieved smirk leading onto his lips. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I didn’t want to put my outfit to waste,” you smile, spreading your arms to show your attire.

“Yeah, well you came at perfect timing,” he points towards his girlfriend which you identified earlier, although he seemed like he didn’t care all that much.

Gripping the folded paper in your pocket, you slip it out with two fingers confidently. “I have something to tell you,” you admit, your eyes staying centered on his black suit.

“Go on,” he eggs, hands staying at the side of his body while he watches you fluster yourself. It takes you less than a second to shove the note in his stomach and turn around, your face turning hotter and hotter every moment. Your hands lay against your cheeks as your nerves rattle beneath your skin, your ears tingling when you hear a sweet chuckle glide against his lips. “You should have told me a long time ago, Y/n. I wouldn’t have to deal with,” his eyebrows turn up as his head tips towards the dancing figure just a couple of feet away from you guys, “...that.”

You turn around slowly, disbelief covering your face when you look at his smug expression. “Are you kidding me? You’re telling me this,” you gesture at the both of you with your pointer finger, “could have been something a long time ago?”

He sucks in through his teeth, taking a grip on your arm and pulling you with him as he walks through the crowd to the middle of the room. “Yep. Guess you missed out.”

“Says you,” you roll your eyes with attitude as you pick up your pace and place your hand in his.

He knew he belonged with you, he was just wondering when you would admit that.

aaa here it is! three days of work! sry i havent been posting lately ive been working <3 (reupload bc tumblrs a little bitch)

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are VERY appreciated!

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Update (please read)

This includes a general update about me, update about my sideblogs, tags, and also a small ask at the bottom w/ an art dump, so pls read all even tho it's a little long. I'd really appreciate it <3

so I finally decided to start using my queue system and stop feeling like such a pos all the time. this is part of my attempt at forcing myself to feel a little better on a daily basis. It's not that Im suddenly spending more time on Tumblr; I've ALWAYS been spending tons of time on Tumblr. I've just been in a bit of a funk for a long time where I was convinced I wasn't "good enough" (whatever that means) to interact with hardly anybody or anything.

But lol this is Tumblr..... if people don't like me interacting, they can block me. Ofc I'll try to respect DNIs and all but you get what I mean.

I'm going to try to clean up @undead-prowess and @plates-of-va as well and start posting to them more. I still am working on the next chapter of my Pokemon fanfic, but that has been delayed due to my cars needing a lot of work lately, and me having to help with that.

Also, my tags, explained (I promise this'll be the final time):

#oops prow queued again - queued post. the system posted it automatically. any tags were added when I queued it

#spicy prow - my custom nsfw tag. This just means a post that might be a little incendiary or not something you'd read in front of your grandparents. It doesn't mean that I think the post content is trashy or sexual or anything like that necessarily. It just means that if you're scrolling tumblr at work, you probably don't wanna see this post lol. This tag may also include discourse-y posts.

#nsfw-ish / #nsfwish - same story as the above, but more explicitly about specific language or sexual content. A post might offhandedly just say 'tits' and while that isn't, like, BAD, I just want to give people that are in compromising situations a choice to clean up their dash.

#here prow goes again - discourse tag. block it if you hate arguments. I try to avoid arguments honestly bc they're not worth the time but I'm not averse to posting them on occasion. I may also use a general 'discourse' tag.

#pin for prow pls - personal tag for stuff I really want to try to remember. helps narrow down posts for things I'd like to review later.

A lot of other tags (memes, videos, etc) are pretty self explanatory. I've moved away from my "non pokemon" tag, but if anyone really WANTS me to bring that back, I'm happy to bring it back. Just let me know.

Furthermore, ya boi is broke and currently waiting the 200+ average days for a decision on disability benefits, and even if I get them, they'll probably be garbage. If you can spare some change, it'd be greatly appreciated, even if it was like, a single dollar. I can also do art commissions, sfw or nsfw.

P@yPal || $silfurgames

My commission prices are flexible, but in general, for a single character, it's $10 for a sketch, $20 for a flat color w/ sketch, $30 for flat color w/ clean lines, $40 for shaded color w/ clean lines. For each additional character, add 35% of the price (so two characters for shaded color w/ clean lines would be $40+35%=$54).

I am willing to TRY to draw anything, but without references, I am best at animals (mammals, most reptiles, and many fictional creatures). With references I am willing to try anything.

Here's some samples of my work, not all of which I've posted here before: