#plot bunny bc writing helps me process shit

[darth-kote]

I'm thinking a lot about hands. What they symbolize, what it means to lose and regain them.

One thing I know for sure is Crosshair's hand getting cut off was much needed - like, as a symbolic severing of the past, not literally.

[lovethediseasedkillerpuppy]

Since you were getting some mean asks, I thought I'd send you a good one to balance it out! What are your favorite Dean episodes in SPN? (I found that a lot of my faves were generally either Dean or Cas centered) and if you could hang out with Mr. Ackles, what would you want to talk about? :)

Thank you :) The trolls do tend to come in spurts sometimes.

I’m contractually obligated to preface this by saying I always think there’s some Dean goodness in every ep, but if we’re talking whole eps…hmm. These aren’t all my favorite eps & I had to leave off a few eps that had some of my favorite scenes bc it wasn’t a ‘whole’ ep & I didn’t want this list to be a mile long lol.

1x6 Skin: Writing holes aside, I loved this ep for Dean. The 1st 5 eps we got plenty of hints there was a lot more to the guy than this smart alec tough guy he was showing the world but when the shifter started talking about Dean’s thoughts it was our first real look at how much he was really holding in inside & ya knew it was the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to know more asap…& protect him forever.

2x20 What is & Should Never Be: Is there even a Dean girl out there who doesn’t love this ep? You get such a rollercoaster of emotions with this gem. It starts off like wtf is happening but hey this seems ok…some good times…oops, things aren’t perfect here…crap, it’s all fake & I’m actually dying…but it’s kinda better here & I wanna stay. I cry like a baby just thinking abt the graveyard scene & when Dean tells Sam abt it at the end isn’t much better. “I wanted to stay so bad.” nearly killed me. You were right there w Dean every step of the ep. It hurt & it’s all Jensen’s damn fault.

4x16 On The Head of A Pin: This one…I hate to see Dean in pain but I love to watch Jensen act it out lol. It was all so heart-wrenching; from Dean pleading with Cas not to make him go down that road, to him putting on his torturer hat, to becoming the torturee, then him being completely broken mentally & physically at the hospital…gah! Dammit to hell, Ackles. How dare you.

5x4 The End: My favorite episode, period. I loved every damn second of it. In part bc it raised half a million questions & I’d kill for a spin-off series of those 5 years but also the actual ep was perfect. The Deans scenes were amazing. I remember sitting there watching being like Ok, I know he’s the same person & same actor playing him but damn if 2014!Dean wasn’t completely different than Dean. It’s a bit conflicting watching bc part of me is wanting to side with Dean but the other part can completely understand how 2014!Dean became what he did & yes there may be “something broken in him” but he’s still the guy taking care of everyone but himself & he deserved better.I seen a lot of posts saying 2014!Dean went dark/bad but I don’t see it. I see the same Dean we’ve always had who was put in impossible circumstances & he’s beaten, hurt & tired. I’m still pissed he was killed. 

6x5 Live Free or Twihard: I loved Dean bashing the “Twilight” stuff before he became a vamp. And the general badassery when he took out a whole damn nest. I’m just a bit disappointed they didn’t show all the kills but the network threw out a “decapitation limit” lol

9x5 Dog Dean Afternoon: This one just amused the shit out of me & I love dogs so it had to make the list.

9x11 First Born: I’m trash for Dean & Crowley team ups so that part was great. Dean had more of a reckless attitude & I’m a fan of that too. Dean & Cain had a good dynamic. 

9x23 Do You Believe in Miracles: Confession time; I didn’t think Dean becoming a demon was as obvious as a lot of people seemed to so I did enjoy the surprise at the end. That damn death scene *cries for five years* It hurt, PHYSICAL PAIN, to watch. Dean struggling to talk & saying it was better this way...then his last words “I’m proud of us” about damn time he gave himself a little credit. lol I was amused at the beginning that they just left Dean, veteran hunter, locked in a room w the supplies to escape. Really?

S10 Demon!Dean (I’m gonna lump this as 1 ep bc reasons): He was so much fun & “The year of the Deanmon” that the stupid show teased is why I have trust issues! We were robbed!

10x14 The Executioner’s Song: I liked how conflicted Dean was. He didn’t want to kill Cain but he had to kill Cain. He knew it the entire ep yet he still pleaded with Cain to tell him he didn’t have to do it. The fight scene was pretty bad ass. And that look of vulnerability when he fell into Sam’s arms really wrecked me. He was so sure he wasn’t gonna come back from killing Cain.

10x22 The Prisoner: This makes the list bc I’m twisted & I love me some dark homicidal Dean. My annoyance is only that they didn’t show him taking out more of that monster family.

12x11 Regarding Dean: In typical Spn fashion the ep went from amusing to painful. Dean with little bunny!Dean & going on tangents about everyone loving waffles & being the cutest little bean laughing at scooby-doo...then we get smacked in the feels by Dean killing us with that mirror scene. That ending montage with Dean riding the mechanical bull...well, i didn’t know I needed that in my life but I’m glad I found out.

Onto the second question (if ya stuck with my long ass answer lol)

I’d ask Jensen a million questions about behind the scenes stuff. I want to know about all the ad libs that made it into eps that we don’t know. All the script changes that he (or any actor) made, all the times when it said “do/say something Dean would” in his scripts. And then I’d go through a ton of my fav scenes & ask why he did it this that way/what was his motivation/thought process. And I’d like to get some candid answers on what he hasn’t liked, would have done different, dropped plots he’d have like to explore more, anything they haven’t done that he’d like to.

And I’d talk his ear off about how he IS a damn rock star (so he can stop saying no he isn’t, the lil shit) & how awesome it would be if he made a record & offer some helpful suggestions on what songs to cover for it.

And this last one is def shallow but in fantasy land we need no dignity, amirite? We all know damn right well if Spn were on a premiem chanel that Dean’s “craps” & “friggins” would be different words. Jensen has even said as much; that he cringes when friggin is in a script bc that wouldn’t be what Dean would say. So anyhoo, I’d pick a handful of CW edited down lines & have him redo them with what Dean would actually say...in Dean voice, naturally.