#please you are eating cigarette butts out of the trash you are so hungry

[ballroomnotoriety]

started reading our share of night and it is. hmm. trashy. did section 1 today and it had a similar flavor as nosleep creepypasta, which is completely fine but not exactly the more refined vibe the reviews gave off. it's like the difference between a skillfully done body squick scene that makes you want to crawl out of your skin in a horror movie vs a schlocky gore fest that paints the walls red. i think we are trying to achieve grrm level of Fucked Up and overreaching, which is a shame bc some of the things mentioned offhandedly (Argentinian revolution) are significantly more disturbing than satanic panic daydreams. also i think this translator did a clunky job unless the author also ate a thesaurus.

i will of course be finishing it unless it bores me (it's trying really hard to bore me).

[kdmerchant]

Writing battle along with the rest of the world is giving me anxiety. So I went through their prompts and found one I really liked. I posted it there so I'll post the promt and it here below. It's a silly cute story about ravens. It's just under 1k.

The Great Bin

K.D. Merchant

              A thunderous flapping of wings echoed across the near empty parking lot, followed by a loud chattering of caw’s as the unkindness congregated for the day. Sharpbeak The Dappled landed on the black can of giving and glared down at the mess of other raven’s that waited for the daily offerings.

            Surveying the group he noted that a new head bobbed amidst the mass of other birds, just on the outside of the group.

            “What’s your name?” Sharpbeak demanded and fluttered his wings towards the stranger. The rest of the unkindness turned to look at the new bird. It cleared its throat and puffed its feathers out in a way that it hoped would be disarming.

            “Folks call me Fickle Pine.” Fickle Pine said, taking a hop forward and shaking his black head that shimmered blue in the time of the young sun and the yellow leaves.

            “What brought you before us today Fickle Pine?” Sharpbeak questioned. The first car drove to the parking lot. The human who tended the building stopped in the spot furthest the building, and exited the vehicle smelling like they were wearing the same clothes as the day before.

            “A fire from the east burnt my home. The folks all got separated and I’m just passing through and thought I would check and see what this commotion was all about?” Fickle Pine said. He was from the woodlands and had never seen a gathering of ravens so large. The one that spoke to him from the tall, flat grey perch was going grey and white in places. He had never known that ravens could turn white.

            “Welcome then friend, I am Sharpbeak and we are the ones who worship the great bin.” Sharpbeak cawed, stomping a foot on the top of the trash can.

            “What’s the great bin?” Fickle Pine asked. The employee had smoked a cigarette and watched the large bird gathering as most of the group watched him too. He blew out the last puff of smoke, twisted the butt into the ground beneath his heel and leaned into his car, pulling out a red box half filled with wilted fries.

            He tossed the fries with one big heave of his arm and he watched the raven’s descend on yesterday’s dinner before disappearing into the building.

            “Please join me in the in giving thanks for what this day will bring.” Sharpbeak called out to those still squabbling over fries on the ground. The birds all raised their beaks to the air. “Thank you, oh great bin, for providing us with full bellies day after day.”

            “Day after day.” The rest of the ravens cawed. Fickle Pine just watched the interaction with wonder.

            “I come from the forest, I am curious, what is the great bin?” Fickle Pine inquired again.

            “This can beneath my feet is the great bin. Stand there and watch, before the sun is high you will see why we worship its greatness.” Sharpbeak announced, ruffling his feathers while holding his head high.

            Fickle Pine did just that. He sat and watched as person after person disposed of food into the bin. Sharpbeak would go in and retrieve it and toss the food to the birds on the ground. None of the birds went hungry. He picked a worm from the nearby the roots of a tree that had a rare patch of dirt in the asphalt jungle. The birds, to him, seem crazed over the bin and the food within.

            “Is this the only food you eat?” Fickle Pine asked another raven who also seemed to be losing the gleam of what should be its inky black coloring. White patches were appearing on its stomach.

            “Yep. My family has been here for generations. The bin provides.” The raven pointed its beak skyward.

            “When did the white start appearing?” Fickle Pine pointed at the patches with his beak.

            “You eat from the bin long enough and it blesses you with spots. We believe it comes from a well-fed diet.” The bird said. A slap hit the ground as Sharpbeak threw a yellow wrapper at Fickle Pine. He nuzzled the paper until half a burger became exposed to the autumn light.

            “Taste it.” The whole group cajoled. Fickle Pine was a little bit concerned about their love of this strange idol. He nibbled the morsel and spit it out in disgust.

            “That’s foul.” Fickle Pine managed, blinking tears from his eyes. That food did not taste like anything he had tried before, and he could not understand why the birds were mesmerized.

            “You do not accept what the bin offers?” Sharpbeak asked dangerously.

            “No, thank you.” Fickle Pine shook his head. Sharpbeak made a very upsetting throaty chirp and all the black birds descended upon the new bird.

            “Get out! Only those devout to the bin may stay here.” Sharpbeak wailed like a mad thing from the top of the trash can. The rest of the birds tried to pluck his feathers as the chased him from the parking lot to the skies and miles away from their beloved bin.

            Fickle Pine found a beautiful spot behind a store where fresh water streamed from a tree framed hillside. He landed and soon found a millipede that tried to scuttle beneath a rock. It gave no resistance as he snapped it up, perfectly content with the wealth the earth had to offer.

[dumbkiri]

Hypnotic You

Second Series for Jason Todd

Request: Mixing up requests I got in submissions. 

Summary: [Name] has to come to terms that she really isn’t a fighter yet. Her mother, Diana Prince, left her in the care of Batman to help [Name] fight or at least learn how. Jason and [Name] have been partners for a long time and he is her mentor. But that all changes when he requests to go back to his team, The Outlaws. [Name] feels that she is left behind and comes across a new friend. 

But this new friend of hers is another enemy of the Justice League and a sworn enemy of her mother’s. [Name]’s body is resistant to some magic, but when Hecate awakens her godly form, is she able to control her dormant powers?

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

Genre: Mystery, Drama, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 2.5k, 6 pgs

WARNING(S): NONE???

The sun shined brightly onto Gotham City providing light and warmth in the cold season of Winter. The snow that piled up from last night's storm was gradually melting under the bright star. And [Name] witnessed the frost on her living room windows going away. 

     She watched her neighbors do their daily routine of mowing their luscious green grass. Their kids had the job of taking out the trash and recycling. The mother would usually watch on holding their newborn baby or she was wiping her hands on a dish rag. [Name] turned away from the normal scene and glued her eyes on the TV.

      "In Today's news, Batman and Robin had stopped another criminal last night. Despite the storm, the caped vigilantes stopped the Riddler from robbing one of Gotham's finest jewelry stores. The Riddler is now being sent to Gotham--" 

     [Name] turned the TV off knowing that the Riddler would just escape again from wherever he's being sent to. She stayed on her couch for a while and enjoyed snuggling with her warm blanket that she got out of the dryer. Her eyes closed in happiness and she began to wonder in her land of dreams. That was until there was a knock at her front door. 

     She grumbled in annoyance and got up from the couch. [Name]’s sock covered feet carried her to the door and she opened it with a kind smile. There standing on her porch was her best friend and partner, Jason Todd. He was wearing his signature red hoodie with black jeans and black adidas. He stuffed his hands into his hoodie and sighed, “Are you gonna invite me in?” 

     [Name] snapped out of her trance and opened the door more to let him in. She watched as he relaxed and walked into her house. He took his shoes off by her door where her own shoes were placed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” She asked and walked in front of him to stop him from entering her kitchen. 

     “I’m hungry,” He responded and took his hands from his hoodie. He placed his cold fingers on her exposed waist and moved her aside. [Name] recoiled from his touch and giggled, “You should warm your hands up. Oh, I’ll make you hot chocolate!” 

     Jason stayed silent and watched [Name] run into her kitchen. He chuckled when he saw that she struggled to reach her mugs on the top shelf. But after a few seconds, she managed to get them. “I said I was hungry, not thirsty,” Jason grumbled and sat in the barstools at the kitchen island. [Name] stopped pouring the hot chocolate and looked at him, “Do you not want any?”

     “Let’s go grab a bite.” Jason asked suddenly. 

    “Are you asking me out to eat breakfast with you?” [Name] looked at him questioningly. 

     Jason sighed and walked over to her. He grabbed the mug filled with hot chocolate topped with cool whipped cream. He took a sip and relished the hot drink entering his freezing body. “I am asking you to eat breakfast with me,” He replied after setting the cocoa down on the granite counter.

      [Name] smiled and grabbed a napkin from the kitchen island. She wiped Jason’s mouth to get rid of the whipped cream. She made eye contact with the male and laughed, “Yes, I’ll go eat with you, Todd, so stop your glaring.” [Name] walked away and threw the napkin into the trash. “Gimme five minutes to get dressed.”

       It took her longer than five minutes to get dressed, but Jason wasn’t going to ruin her perfect mood. He looked at her outfit and he took notice how she wore gloves and a scarf. “What?” [Name] interrupted his thoughts and placed her hands on her hips, “I’m not going out there freezing my butt off like you, okay?” 

     Jason raised his hands up and looked away, “I wasn’t going to say anything about your fashion choices. It’s a smart idea to bundle up, I don’t want anybody blaming me if you get sick.” 

     “You really do care for me,” [Name] softly said and Jason scoffed, turning to the front door. He opened it and walked out. He was going to ignore her comment about how he felt toward her. Jason wasn't’ sure himself. There were days he wanted to shoot her because of her rash decisions of saving a petty criminal. Yet there were days he had the strong urge to protect her from those petty criminals. “I’ll buy breakfast!” [Name] shouted as she locked her front door. 

……

     “The reason why I brought you here was because we need to talk,” Jason lit a cigarette and before he could inhale the deadly toxins, [Name] was quick enough to snatch it from him. 

     “Smoking isn’t allowed in here and I want to enjoy my breakfast before we get kicked out.” She smiled at him kindly. 

     Jason grumbled under his breath as he watched the female put out the cigarette in her empty glass half filled with ice. He crossed his arms over his chest and began speaking, “I requested that we change partners or back to our original teams. Now I don’t want you to interrupt me because I need you to listen to my reasons.” Jason’s blue eyes connected with her [e.color] eyes. 

     [Name] remained quiet waiting for his reasons. She stopped messing with the crayons she got from the host and paid Jason her undivided attention. 

     “I feel as though I need to work with my team, The Outlaws, more than Batman’s sidekick. Roy said he needs some help with the team and that they’re breaking without my leadership. I am also needed on higher stake missions and not burglars who steal money from an ATM.” 

    “He didn’t just steal money from an ATM. He was stealing from homeless people!” [Name] whispered-yelled. She was a bit frustrated about Jason’s choice. 

     “Hey, I told you to not interrupt me,” Jason scolded and continued his explanation. His stare softened and his body slowly relaxed into a vulnerable state. “I’m needed with my team, [Name]. I helped you with a lot of your training and I believe you already make a fine Batgirl. You don’t need me anymore.” 

     “Yes, I do,” [Name] spoke up, not caring that she didn’t let him finish, “You help me make those hard decisions. You sometimes influence me, but most importantly you make me decide what I want to do. I never really had that choice with Batman and Robin. You help me a lot in those times, in our missions.” 

     Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, “Those aren’t missions, [Name]. I get it, you entered the fighting scene a little too late. But what Batman has us doing, what he has you doing is nothing compared to what I used to do with my team. We take down guys like Sionis. We take down actual criminals with dangerous agendas.” 

     [Name] felt small in her seat. 

     “And to be frank, I’m tired of dealing with those petty criminals. I want the real deal. I want to go back to my team,” Jason finished.  

    [Name] swallowed the lump in her throat, “Then be with your team, Jason. No one is going to stop you.” 

     Jason stared at her and was baffled by her response, “You-- Why are you not stopping me?” He was 100% positive that she was going to throw a royal fit. But here she was surprising him.

      [Name] pushed her plate of food away from her kid’s menu. She grabbed a red crayon and began doodling. Her attention was divided now and it was because she needed a distraction. She could no longer stare in his gunmetal eyes anymore. “You said you needed your team and that they needed you. Why would I stop you if you want to leave?” 

    “I don’t know, I thought you would have put up a bigger fight. It’s what you would usually do.” Jason replied back and watched her aimlessly draw on her kids menu. He didn’t know what she was trying to draw and honestly he didn’t care. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he quickly looked at who was calling him. It was Roy Harper. 

     [Name] pretended she wasn’t looking, but she noticed how Jason didn’t hesitate to answer the call. She put her crayon down and raised her hand in the air to call the waitress. Their waitress came by with a pretty smile. “Can I have the check please?” [Name] warmly asked with her own smile. The waitress nodded her head and handed the check to which [Name] handed back cash. “Keep the change.” 

     Jason watched [Name]’s interactions with the waitress carefully. He noticed the front she was putting up. After all, he spent a long time with her to notice how she was doing. He focused back on the call and listened to Roy’s words. Apparently, Sionis was still in the game while in prison. It meant that the criminal had connections inside the prison to make deals outside. Jason wanted to shoot himself twenty times right about now.

      [Name] waited patiently for Jason to end the call, so they can have a proper goodbye. It was rude to leave while he was on the call, but it was also rude to answer the phone when he was having a conversation with her. Yet [Name] didn’t have the confidence to communicate with him. It wouldn’t matter anyways because they were no longer going to work together. Maybe that is why [Name] felt so sad. She was growing attached to the male even if they did have their downs.

      “I got it, Harper,” Jason said with the roll of his eyes, “We’ll talk about it more later and plan from there. Alright, see you guys later.” He ended the call and gave a curt nod to [Name]. “Roy called about--” 

     [Name] waved him off and laughed, “Spare me the details and go get the bad guy.” 

     Jason sighed and gestured to her with his hands, “You’re mad.” 

    “I’m upset,” [Name] truthfully said with a shrug of her shoulders. Her eyes were downcasted to examine her scramble of a drawing. “I thought of us as a team, you know? So being sent back to a dynamic duo like Batman and Robin kind of makes me feel-- I don’t know,” [Name] laughed and looked up at him. She waved her hands side to side, “I don’t know what I’m talking about now, my words are going to be scrambled soon if we keep talking.”

     [Name] put her wallet back in her purse and flipped the straps on her shoulder. She was collecting her things. She scooted to the edge of the booth and stood up, “But thank you for teaching me the ropes and other important things. I’ll catch you on the flipside.” [Name] turned her back on Jason and hurried to exit the restaurant. She was really digging herself into a hole back there. 

     “Catch you on the flipside? God, what was I thinking?” [Name] scolded herself and lightly hit the side of her head with her palm. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” She helplessly muttered as she walked further away from the restaurant. [Name] walked past some people going about their business and easily dodged the shoulders of people not paying attention to their surroundings. She was surprised that she was able to notice the people around her when her mind was plagued with questions. 

     At this point, [Name] wanted to be home and enjoy her hot chocolate for real this time. If Jason really requested for her to go back with Batman then the caped crusader will call her if she soon. "I should go pick up Blue from the pet store. Ah, I forgot my poor baby had an appointment today,” [Name] hailed a taxi and got into the backseat while telling the driver where to go. 

     “Rough mornin’, miss?” The taxi driver asked looking into the rearview mirror. 

     [Name] gave him a small smile, “You can say that.” 

    The taxi driver whistled with his clapped lips. They seemed to bleed a little meaning that he was picking at the skin of his bottom lip recently. “The storm must have hit yer area hard or somethin’ if ya ain’t smilin’. The kids ‘round here are havin’ a field day! Throwin’ snowballs and jus’ havin’ some normal fun! Ya should join ‘em, put a pretty smile back on ya face, y’know?” 

    “I will when I pick up my dog from his appointment. Blue would love the snow and I’m sure the kids would love him,” [Name] replied looking out the window. She watched the buildings she recognized pass by with a blur. Then she averted her attention to the taxi driver. She noticed a purple ring surrounding his irises before it disappeared. 

     The taxi driver cleared his throat and clenched the steering wheel tighter, “He must've really hurt yer feelings.” 

    “Excuse me?” [Name] swallowed and stared at the man with a new sense of curiosity and suspicion. She scooted to the edge of her seat and asked again, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

     “I said he must’ve hurt yer feelings. Especially if ya have that sad look in yer eyes like someone ran o’er yer dog. What’s his name?” The taxi driver tilted his head to the side and a large pop resonated in the taxi. 

      Uncomfortable, [Name] leaned her back into the cushion of her seat. Her lips parted in uncertainty, “He’s only a friend and there’s no reason for you to know his name. You’re a stranger.” 

     “I’m more than jus’ a stranger, darlin’,” The taxi driver answered quickly. The car came to a stop and [Name] opened the door. She almost forgot to pay the man, but he stopped her with a creepy smile on his face.

      “No need to pay me, girl,” He said and leaned over the passenger seat, “I want ya to know somethin’.” 

    [Name] got out of the car and closed the door. She bent down to listen to him talk though. She didn’t know why she was staying any longer with this weirdo. Yet her curiosity wasn’t quenched, not now. “She’s always watchin’ ya. Said somethin’ about awakening yer true potential.”

     “Thank you for the ride, sir,” [Name] dismissed his words  and ran into the pet store where she felt somewhat safe. She picked her phone from her purse and dialed Jason’s number hoping he would pick up as quickly as he did for Roy. It rang twice then went straight to voicemail. Might as well tell him what happened to her. 

     “Hey, Jason, I called to tell you the strangest thing that happened to me. This taxi driver gave me the weirdest ride ever. I-- He knew that I talked to you? Actually, he doesn’t know you, but I don’t know. It was the oddest thing that’s ever happened. He knew what I was feeling. I mean he knew-- Whatever, just give me a call back?” She said with nervousness, “He said someone was watching me. I have to hear some advice from you.”

      She ended the call there and perked up at her dog barking happily. She hoped that the taxi driver was only crazy and that what he said wasn’t true. [Name] has enough to worry about. 

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 26)

For the billionth time that night, Mai wondered what she was doing there. It was still early and the place already reeked of alcohol and disappointment. She had already seen Aang approach Moo-Chee and she couldn’t help but cringe for the both of them. Moo-Chee, despite his adamant denial was emo trash through and through. One of the many reasons she had cut him out.  She listened to TyLee talk about what her twin sisters were up to. Apparently, they had this splendid group costume idea; they were dressing as idols from their favorite pop group.

If Mai was being honest, she had little interest in anything TyLee was saying, but she pretended so that the girl wouldn’t be offended. The longer she sat with TyLee at this stupid party, the more she realized that they had nothing in common. Their only tie had been Azula.

Truth be told she wondered if she really liked TyLee at all. Even in a gloomier state, TyLee was still too peppy for her. Too bright.

Too optimistic.

 She was beginning to figure out why preps and goths just didn’t click. It came as a shock to her that it might just lie at the fault of the goth clique and their lack of interest. Granted the preps had their bitchy streaks. Mai almost chuckled; what a shallow thing to think of. Shallow thoughts for shallow events.

 “Want to get a drink or something?” TyLee asked.

 “Not particularly.”

 “Please.” The way she said it, with some unnecessary desperation, had Mai on her feet.

 “I guess, if it means that much to you.” She looked over just on time to see Aang leaving with Moo-Chee. Talk about a potential disaster. She almost wanted to warn the poor boy away, but that would require an effort and perhaps some hustled running. Concessions stand, it was.

 “Bring me one, will you?” Jet called. To whom, Mai isn’t certain. But TyLee gripped her hand and pulled her through the crowd.

 At the concession stand, Mai found that she wasn’t hungry nor thirsty at all. She tried to eat a cupcake or two but didn’t have the drive to finish it. They were too sweet and reminded her too much of more joyous times. “Here, want the rest?”

 TyLee took it with a delighted smile and finished it off. She could almost pretend that things were normal. That Azula was off with Usha and Chan with a promise to meet up again before the costume contest winners were announced. And that Zuko was off sulking in a corner with the other stoners, as he contemplated how to make up for being an asshole. She took a moment to let herself truly revel in the illusion but reality seeped right back in.

 Azula was not off with Usha, she was next to her, eating as though she hadn’t done so in days. Mai had a sneaking suspicion that she hadn’t. That wasn’t what everyone else saw though. They saw another opportunity to give her former friend hell. Despite the bad blood she had created, she felt a twinge of sympathy for Azula. They were laughing, everyone seemed to have their own remark and she couldn’t imagine that her old friend was going to take it well.

It was enough for her. Without a word, Mai wandered away from TyLee. She didn’t quite like Azula, but she didn’t want to witness whatever happened next. That aside, hearing the Ghost Buster’s theme in between ill-fitting hip hop numbers was growing tiresome and she needed some air. In the back of her mind she knew that it was rude to ditch TyLee like that but then she recalled the slew of texts from Toph’s parents and her own.  She already received several texts asking her how she dared leave Tom-Tom without someone to take him trick-or-treating. How he was bawling because of her and his Halloween was ruined. It wasn’t like he had a mother and father to take him. No, it would seem that she was a selfish person through and through, she may as well add one more thing to the list. Let TyLee text her and add to her collection.

 She stole away and found her favorite room in the house; a guest room on the second floor. One of the few rooms in the house with a balcony. The chatter from the floor below was still too loud, but at least she was no longer in the crowd. She pushed the door to the guest room open.

She heard two startled cries from the bed and slammed the door shut again with a curt, “you got a room, now go the extra mile and lock the door.”

 Perhaps it was because they had stolen her go to hiding place, but she couldn’t help but wonder why Katara was the slut when Suki was pregnant and banging her man at every chance. She pinched the bridge of her nose, just light enough to not break skin, but tight enough to inflect irritation.

She found herself wondering how she had done this a few years ago. Had she actually enjoyed this scene? Was this kind of thing fun for her at one point?

With a knot of distress forming in her stomach, she realized that she had.

 There were a lot of things she used to love…

 She wandered down the hall wondering if there was anywhere else that would provide her with a place to think. And it occurred to her, she didn’t want to think. No, thinking would only pull her deeper under. What she wanted to do was drink. Drink and forget.

Forget about Tom-Tom, forget about Toph, forget about Zuko…hell she’d purge Azula and TyLee from her mind too while she was at it.

 .oOo.

 She ignored the constant flood of texts that flashed on her phone. Not only did she ignore them but she turned it off entirely. She chugged another glass and another until she felt her world go fuzzy. Her intoxicated mind formed a perfectly terrible idea.

 Mai stumbled her way up the stairs again and in the direction of the bathroom. If things remained as they had, the second-floor bathroom was the place to go if you were seeking free, albeit sketchy, tattoos.

 She’d have her fix of pain and something to really drive her parents up the wall.

 She could hear the hum of a tattoo gun and knew that she was in the right place. One of her lunchmates stumbled out with fresh ink and something to regret in the morning. She supposed that they could discuss that at lunch. She entered to take his place.

 “What are ya lookin’ ta get.”

 “A passing grade in your class.” Mai said automatically.

 June chuckled. “Don’t mention that I was here and I’m sure we can make that work.”

 “Deal.” She probably wouldn’t recall having seen the woman at all anyways. “Give me something my parents will hate.”

 “Oh trust me, darling, they’ll hate anything I give you.” June drawled. She flicked a cigarette butt into the trash.

 “Alright, then…” she thought for a moment. “Just give me a heart being stabbed.”

 “Ah, a classic.” June took a drag. “Who’s the unlucky ex?”

 She let the alcohol do all of the talking. “He fucking leaves. Just straight up disappears and doesn’t say a fucking thing. He texts me when he’s down but ignores me when I complain to him.” She blabbered on and on, probably slurring the whole way. But that was fine, someone needed to know that Zuko was a jackass. So she threw his name in there.

 “Ah yeah, Zuko.” June muttered “I saw him at Chitsang’s place.”

 “Who’s she?” Mai grumbled.

 “He’s a…” she trailed off. “Never mind. That boy got himself in trouble is my guess.” She brought the tattoo gun down.

 Sharp pangs danced over the back of Mai’s neck. It was almost euphoric. She savored each prick of the needle. Each prick of ink that brought her closer to watching her mother’s face twist in horror. “He deserves the trouble he gets.” She spat.

 “Mmm…harsh.” June cooed.

 Mai busted out laughing, forcing June to withdraw that tattoo gun until her laugher died away. She couldn’t help it, it was just so funny what she had thought of. She could show Tom-Tom her new ink and help him plan a tattoo of his own. Yeah, that would really send her mother reeling.

[along-the-devils-backbone]

Once again, it’s the end of the month and my family is completely out of food. (We’re surviving on scraps of whatever we can piece together, like a slice of cheese on instant rice, the last hotdog cut up into a can of peas, etc). 

I have people i can ask to borrow money from... But i’m not going to ask them. 

Not because I’m too proud, or ashamed of being a charity case... but because I know what my parents would do with the money as soon as they got it. (and I can’t spend the money myself, because I can’t walk around a grocery store in my condition right now, let alone finding transportation besides my dad).

If it was cash, dad would spend $10 on cigarettes immediately, and then insist on putting $10-$20 in the gas tank, no matter how much he already has in the truck. Then he’d buy himself a 12-case of coca-cola that no one but him is allowed to drink, which he will then hide in his room, which already looks like this: 

Please note the amount of fucking cans on his desk, amp, side-table, etc. There are cans on the floor. The empty boxes are piled in the corner against the closet, and there are several trash bags full of empty cans (and cigarette butts) on top of the dresser. I shit you not. 

Now once dad gets back from the gas station down the road, he’ll demand that mum and I come up with dinner ideas. We’ll need cheap meals, to make whatever money we get, last long enough until we get food stamps. 

“How about hamburgers?” That would mean ground beef, and bread. Maybe some sliced cheese if we can afford it. 

Nope. Dad won’t eat them because they’re greasy, they’ll need a side-dish, and he’ll automatically want 2 or 3.

“How about lasagna?” a few more ingredients, but we can get away with noodles, hamburger, sauce, and cheese. 

Nope. Dad thinks it’s slimy and gross. 

“How about chicken and mashed potatoes?” A cheap bag of frozen chicken, a box of instant potatoes. 

Nope. Dad thinks baked chicken is dry. Will only eat fried chicken, which requires eggs, flour, and oil -- things we’d have to incorporate into other meals to make sure we’re not buying them for one thing. Also, he will REFUSE to eat instant mashed potatoes, because they “taste plastic.” Baked potatoes? He needs a million toppings. Roasted potatoes “look weird” and are “dried out” so he won’t eat them. He’ll only eat the pre-made mashed potatoes you can buy from the Deli at Krogers!

“How about cheap TV Dinners?” 

Nope. It’s all dad ever eats. He’s tired of them. Also he needs two, and will be hungry in an hour anyway. 

“Frozen pizza!?” 

He hates pizza. Doesn’t matter what kind. Will throw a mother of all tantrums if we suggest pizza one more time. 

“Salisbury steak?” Too slimy.  “Lunch meat sandwiches?” We need special bread and his own bag of chips that no one else is allowed to touch.  “Tomato soup and grilled cheese?” That’s just a snack, he says. He’ll be hungry again in an hour. 

“Well what DO you want!?” we ask him, exasperated and getting pissed at his picky ass. (Please note, I’m allergic to iodine, which is in red food coloring, and tomato soup, tomato sauce, etc has it in it 90% of the time. I’m still willing to eat those things despite the pain it gives me, if it means we’ll have a cheap meal. Dad refuses to eat something because it “looks weird”.) 

He screams that he doesn’t know, and stomps off to his room so we won’t ask him anything else. (Spoiler: Mum will go in and ask him anyway, which will result in a bigass fight and screamfest between them!)

What happens with that money then? The money that my boyfriends, or my aunt & uncle would have so generously loaned us? 

THEY SPEND IT ON FUCKING FAST FOOD. 

They will go out and buy subway, or pizza hut, or Burger King and bring it home. 

And of course, dad can’t have ANYTHING cheap. No dollar menu shit for him. No -- he has to have the works, and then he’ll refuse to eat it, because he forgot it has sesame seeds (which he can’t have because of his diverticulitis) and then he’ll throw a tantrum (and his food) and demand to be given more money so he can go to the gas station down the road and buy himself a pizza, that he refused to eat an hour ago!!!

IF by SOME MIRACLE we get him to agree to something we mentioned earlier, he’ll come home with half of the ingredients we need, and three boxes of snack cakes; out of which, he will give me, mum, and my brother, exactly ONE (but not his favorite ones) and then take the rest into his room, where he will eat them all in one day. 

I just... I’m so fucking frustrated with the way my parents act. Mum won’t ever put her foot down and tell dad “No, you’re GOING to fucking eat this, because it’s all we can afford!” Dad won’t shop anywhere but Krogers, despite the fact that Walmart, BigLots, and the Dollar Tree are a million times cheaper. 

He’s such a spoiled fucking shit, that if we decide on something as SIMPLE as lunch meat sandwiches, he has to make sure he buys his OWN, specialty lunch meat and fancy cheese, and specialty bread -- because heaven fucking forbid he eat the same sliced ham, cheap american cheese slice, and fucking white bread as the rest of his family... And if we use HIS ingredients, then we “put our gross hands” on HIS food, and now he won’t eat it. 

Never in my life, have i known such a spoiled fucking asshole that thinks he’s better than everyone else, despite the fact that he’s missing most of his teeth, quit nearly every decent job he had because he got “bored” or didn’t like a co-worker, and has lived in poverty for 80% of his fucking life. It’s not like he was a rich kid that married a poor girl and is having to adapt. He’s been fucking poor his whole life. When he met mom he was eating popcorn and mashed potatoes as his only two meals, and riding a bike in all weather, because it was all he could afford to DO. So i don’t know where the fuck he gets it from!?

So yeah... instead of asking for money, I’m sitting here pondering about what the fuck I can put on rice, so i can take care of myself and my brother and not have to deal with the absolute irresponsibility of my parents, that spend money like a fucking 5-year-old in a dollar store toy aisle. 

And don’t even try mentioning a church/food program, because apparently we “aren’t THAT poor” and my parents will refuse to go. They’d rather gnaw off their own legs in hunger, than admit that they had to go to the bethany house for food for a few days >.> Fucking proud assholes... 

[kutee-boutique-fan-blog]

Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater, Hoodie, Longsleeve T-Shirt

Do you love it? https://kuteeboutique.com/shop/santa-cookie-sweater/

Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater, Hoodie, Longsleeve T-Shirt

100s of years ago, Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater, I was adopted by an alley cat who would fish cigarette butts out of dumpsters and chew on ’em. Dude also drank my whiskey. Some people on here need to chill for fuck sake. If we can laugh at ourselves and laugh at other humans, we can laugh at animals. The cig wasn’t lit. The cat was messing with it, and the owners were trying to get it away from the cat and he wouldn’t let it go. It’s funny. Now go find something to actually be offended about. Or if, they attempt to eat the butts, well, that’s not a pretty picture.

Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater, Hoodie, Ladies T-Shirt

Santa Cookie Hoodie

Put your cigarette butts in the trash people! oh robert, you know I love you, but this is not funny. Cats can get obsessed with anything, but if the cat ate the cigarette, I don’t think it would be good for their health. I would be so upset if I found my cat with a cigarette in her mouth. If Robert posted Cat Videos everyday I’d be content! Reason #1: Cats! (Duh) Reason #2: because we all know that while Downey’s pretending to work he’s actually just watching these all day! For example.

Santa Cookie Guys Tee

How did the cat get the cigarette in the first place and it’s obvious he was allowed to sniff/chew on them before because one bite into a cigarette does not an addict make. Also, they could’ve been a lot more humane taking it from the kitty… offering treats, a toy, something to take its attention away. As a cat mom… I did not like this. Poor cat. Poor kitty. See this is why people shouldn’t throw their cigarette butts on the ground. The animals will (and sometimes do) smoke them. Or they could get burnt on them.

Santa Cookie Ladies Tee

Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater, V-Neck, Tank-Top, Long Sleeve T-Shirt

Santa Cookie Ladies V Neck

He played saying about addiction…also for fun. Please be aware, nicotine is extremely toxic to animals, puppies and kittens die from cigarette ingestion. If your pet eats a cigarette please contact your vet straight away. Its kinda funny but it is kinda screwed up but for all we know thats a stray cat they came home to or its a fake cigarette to make it look funny for all we know its a filled with cat nip not tobacco. A quite difficult video to watch. I wish it would’ve shown more. Ellen, You are so incredibly funny & talented. This clip is hysterical! I loved the Breaking Dawn one too! every time I watch it.

Santa Cookie Unisex Tank Top

Haven’t had a cigarette since and I’ve refrained from strangling stupid people that stress me out..so I’d say I’m pretty good! Tiffany dear you are right ::) You are not the only one who says that to me, I can’t help it.. I am not saying little kitty is smoking it. Cats do that when they are hungry. I just fill sorry for it. Yes, Nicolas. The cat would do the same with any other object he was playing with and somebody came to spoil the fun. It is hilarious, how he reacted. Robert posted it here for this reason. It is really funny.

Santa Cookie Unisex Longsleeve Tee

Those earrings actually looked good on you. How did you feel dressed liked that? i hate the baclor/ette and beauty(Santa I Did It All For The Cookie Sweater) and the geek….what degenerates actually watch that garbage seriously….love you ellen you always make me laugh till youput crap like that on your show As sad as it is I’m working on quitting too but having a hard time and realize that unless I have another life I value more then mine I may not be able to. But will still try till then! I quit cold turkey June 10th 2012.