#please this is fanfiction. nothing is real and it isnt that serious. i have never been serious once in my life PLEASE

[wesslan]

”they wouldn’t do that!” in this fic they would!

”they wouldn’t say that!” in this fic they would!

”that’s so unrealistic!” this is a work of fiction!

”why don’t they just do x? that way the problem would have been solved.” because i didn’t want them to solve the problem that way!

”that’s not how that works in the real world!” this is not the real world. it’s ao3.com.

”wrong. in canon they actually-” this is tagged non-canon-compliant. so i actually don’t care!

”any person in their situation would do x instead!” this is a fictional character in a fictional setting with a fictional mind that i am putting a fictional scenario.

hope this helps!❤️

[redyarns]

reasons why lack luster is not my priority

that whole thing with the person harassing me across platforms was frankly ridiculous and something i had never experienced before. the lack of fandom etiquette appalls me

lack luster started as a fic with just one idea that spun into something more and i never intended it to be so popular. while i appreciate and love all the people who support it, im not going to deny feeling pressure. theres an expectation now and it makes me incredibly anxious. i shouldnt feel bad about prioritizing my real life or other fandoms because at the end of the day its just a fanfiction that i write for my own enjoyment, but i feel bad. i posted undertow on my alt account on ao3 just so i wouldnt notify anyone subscribed to me who were waiting for a lack luster update. i shouldnt have been so scared to use my main account and i shouldnt have allowed a simple fic and one fandom to control what i did. it took away some of my autonomy and i hate that i let it

on a less serious note i just dont have the inspo for it. even now im struggling to write undertow stuff when im still very invested in the idea and the fandom. sometimes writers block hits me hard and i dont know why. usually im decent at writing no matter where/why, but i struggle to do even simple prose these days. the last time i felt this stuck was after the pandemic was over, so who knows

as a writer (and sometimes as a reader too since i do reread my own stuff) im not satisfied with the quality of the fic. ive found that im often in a pattern where i write a fic, it blows up, i take a step back, and realize that the fic itself isnt up to my growing standards. i witnessed this happening especially with in my prayer, which i havent touched in years. that isnt to say either of those fics are particularly bad, and lack luster is even enjoyable at times, but its ultimately my opinion of it that dictates if i want to write or not. and while i appreciate everyone liking it so much, every time i reread it, i cringe a little. ur of course entitled to ur own opinions of it but if i compare it to undertow (and comparison is the thief of joy and all that but its my own fic so fart poop doodie) then its... lol... lackluster

fanfic writing is a hobby, not a job. my real life will always take priority over everything else. i have school and i made new friends who i want to enjoy spending time with. it would be different if writing was my job and my livelihood depended on it but its not. i say this with all the love and gentleness i have in my body, but i really dont have any obligation to write more than i want to, and right now, i just dont want to. i love all of my readers and i desperately want to please them, but i have to prioritize things like my future career and my friends and most importantly myself. writing is a hobby so i only do it if its enjoyable, and if i take that joy away, then i have basically nothing. the reason why my writing is good (and it is good, im not going to lie and say its not, but im still improving every time i try) is because i care about it and pour passion into it. if u wanna read my soulless and dry pieces of crap that i had to do for school then u would understand why its important for me to set certain boundaries for myself. i know very well how sharp of a dip in quality my writing suffers from if im suddenly doing it out of obligation or something similar. its not good trust me

tldr: im just busy and also dont want to. simple as that! im not mad at anyone and nothings wrong, im just... here. and being me. and doing what i want to do when it comes to my online life because i want to enjoy it rather than turn it into yet another obligation. please try and understand me. if u cant then thats okay, its harder to empathize if ur not a creator urself, and sympathizing doesnt equal understanding. either way please respect my boundaries and please dont ask for updates regarding not just lack luster, but any fic i have. it causes me immense anxiety that quickly mixes with anger and frustration because people (whether by mistake or not) break my set of rules. i already have enough anxiety from school and i really dont want to add another source on top of that

thats the gist of it! if u have any more questions about the situation or need clarification please send another ask. tho im gently warning u all now that if all u do is beg me for an update then ill just delete it

I love that you’re having such a good time writing Undertow! I am hoping you will go back to (Lack) Luster at some point because it’s an amazing story. Regardless I’m hoping you’re doing well and hope you have a great day! /gen

give me a bit and ill write out all my reasons as to why im not focused on lack luster, my sausages just got done air frying