#please tey it you wont regret

[2000dragonarmy]

pssssst psst pst pst, got a new commissions from elena for her and bonk's LOVELY SUPER ADORABLE AND YET ALSO SUPER ANGSTY AND IT'S JUST ALL SO GOOD AND IF YOU HAVENT READ IT YET YOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ IT AHSLDHSOONQVEODNEHEJS

Anywho this is some cute father some bonding time 💖💖💖

I'll make a mother post with some other commissions I made 👀👀👀👀 IN THE MEANTIME GO READ THIS FIC

[rxcusant]

Lol explain Kingdom hearts to me. Like all of it. Cause I'm confused as fk. Not KH3 tho cause I'm still going through it.

buckle up lads

so theres a buncha keyblade masters called foretellers and theyre all runnin round like headless chickens cause their master disappeared and nobodys telling each other anything so they all start fightin (except this one guy luxu voiced by max mittleman, he grabbed a box and high tailed it outta there) and then it sparks a keyblade war for all the light in kingdom hearts i think ??? and then i legit forget what happens from here because i hate ux with every fiber of my being but it made this cool place called a keyblade graveyard, its pretty dope.

fast forward 1000 years and we got the cool wayfinder trio all living in land of departure about to take their mark of mastery except terra doesnt pass because Mark Hamil Said Darkness Sucks. also we meet this old guy Xehanort he kinda sucks a lot. theres these enemies called unversed rolling around and mark hamil tells aqua and terra to go stop them but ventus said HEY IM COMING TO and ran after terra so aquas left to be the mom to bring them both home idk and its revealed ventus is made of pure light and xehanort literally split the darkness form his heart and it made vanitas-- hes responsible for all the unversed, he sucks, we dont like him but we love him-- in an effort to forge this thing called the X-Blade (PRONOUNCED LIKE KEY BLADE I HATE THIS SERIES) that will open the door to kingdom hearts, and the x-blade can only be made when pure light and darkness clash, and like... restart the keyblade war and bring about balance?? idk. And xehanort wants to live long enough to see this happen so he literally possesses terras body. Cool! Just what the poor guy needed. Ven and vanitas fight and ven sacrifices himself so he goes to take a Very Long Nap and vanitas just dies like the bitch he is. But ven’s heart finds his way to baby 5yo sora who decides HEY ILL HOARD YOU IN MY HEART FOR THE NEXT 11 YEARS and thats why roxas looks like ventus. Aqua yeets him in the land of departure and then like..locks the world up and it turns into castle oblivion.  meanwhile terra and aqua punch each other and terras about to fall into a darkness pit but aqua sacrifces heself to get him out and so she ends up trapped there for 11 years and terra??is now terranort and has amnesia and this old dude Ansem The Wise finds him and adopts him and an apprentice. yeah. bet he wont regret that decision ; )

10 years later kh1 happens and sora and riku and kairi are chilling on destiny islands until it explodes and riku fucks off to the darkness and kairi fucks off to soras hearts -- i hope she said hi to ventus in there-- and sora ends up in traverse town where he meets donald and goofy. YOU SEE king mickey of disney castle also fucked off because worlds are disappearing to darkness and he left donald and goofy a note to go find The Key cause thatll help. so they do and they journey around with sora and become good buddies i love the trinity trio so much. eventually they meet riku at hollow bastion again and hes been posssessed by this dude Ansem whos not Ansem the Wise but is actually Xehanort’s Heartless (i hate this fucking series) and they find kairis comatose body chillin in the corner and they have a fight scene thats engraved in the memory of Everyone whos ever played PS2 KH1 KAIRI! KAIRI! OPEN YOUR EYES! ITS NO USE. THAT GIRL HAS LOST HER HEART. SHE CANNOT WAKE UP. oh my god why didnt they add a skip scene button. anyway they punch the possession outta riku and sora stabs himself with the keyblade to release kairis heart BUT it also releases his own heart which created his nobody, Roxas, who got vens heart???who thats why he looks like ven?? and it created namine who is kairis nobody because??i honestly forget i hate this goddamn series. anyway soras a heartless for a few minutes but kairi got her heart and life back and wanted to get some sweet sweet screentime and so she saved sora and restored him Thank you kairi. so sora dumps kairi off at traverse town and goes to give Ansem / Xehanort’s Heartless a good ol ass whopping ad they win and restore the worlds but kairi and sora are separated again I’LL COME BACK TO YOU, I PROMISE! I KNOW YOU WILL! WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DONT HEAR ME SAY PLEAAAAAAASE OH BABYYY DONT GO oh also riku and king mickey and sora closed the door to kingdom hearts and trapped riku and mickey in the realm of darkness, that was a thing.

and then chain of memories happened. theyre in castle oblivion!!! whoa!! we meet the organization for the first time! whoa!!! we meet namine!! whoa!!! so like namine has sora-memory powers and can tinker with his memories and the memories of everyone hes connected to (AND HOLY FUCK IS THAT BOY CONNECTED TO A LOTTA PEOPLE NAMINE IS VERY POWERFUL) and the organization is making namine rewrite soras memories as he progresses throuhg castle oblivion to turn him into marluxias pawn so he cna use sora to like..overhtrow the organization, i think?? i hate this seriees. but it all works out in the end except soras memories are so scrambled he decides to sleep for a year to get all the right ones back. MEANWHILE RIKUS IN THE BASEMENT OF CASTLE OBLIVION and hes fighting his own demons i mean darkness i mean ansem i mean xehanorts heartless and he meet up with mickey a few times and then he meets DiZ and he also meets a replica of himself--yeah by the way the organization is making replicas, That Sure Wont Ever Be Referenced Again : )-- and its this game that rikus like YEAH I CAN USE THE DARKNESS AS POWER AND STRENGTH and HES GONNA WALK THE ROAD TO DAWN and then every riku rper put dawn in their url and i got confused trying to keep them all straight lord please help me im a little ol sammi

then we have 358/2 days for the DS which i never replayed cause it was tedious af which is all about the organization and roxas’s time in the organization and meeting his best buds axel and xion and saix standing in the corner being a jealous little binch PLEASE SAIX JUST BE NICE THEYLL GIVE YOU ICE CREAM TOO IF YOU ASK POLITELY Xion is another replica except shes a replica of sora but something got messed up and she got his memories of kairi which is why she looks like her but with black hair for whatever reason, i think nomura just wanted a cool goth girl to add to the series and we all thank him for it, and she and roxas become so close they kinda start influencing that weird memory shit going on and xion keeps trying to leave the organization to set things right but axel always gets stuck with the icky jobs and we got the iconic GO ON YOU JUST KEEP RUNNIN BUT ILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO BRING YOU BACK and i think around this time roxas is also super fed up with the organization and decides FUCK YALL IM DONE and punches saix and leaves. but xion finds him and they have a cool boss battle sequence got i love you xion you are a POWERHOUSE but roxas defeats her and she dies and its the saddest thing in the world AND NOBODY REMEMBERS HER WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!!!! anyway roxas decides hes gonna punch kingdom hearts next cause it was xions last wish but riku, who is sporting a cool blindfold for edge, is like HEY WE NEED YOU TO WAKE UP SORA and roxas is all SORA THIS SORA THAT I DONT GIVE A FUCK and tey fight! and riku loses cause roxas has two keybladees! OBLIVION IS THE BEST KEYBLADE IT LOOKS SUPER COOL I LOVE IT SO MUCH WOW but riku rips off his blindfold and summons the darkness and he takes on ansems, xehanorts heartless, appearance and he squeezes roxas until he passes out and then they yeeted roxas into a data twilight town for a few days.

so enter kh2 with the 6 hours roxas tutorial in the data twilight town until he goes to find sora and returns to him. SO FINALLY AFTER AN ENTIRE YEAR sora wakes up with all his proper memories and so does donald and goofy and theyre like COOL LETS GO FIND RIKU AND KING MICKEY and they go journeying around the worlds again to stop the organization. meanwhile axels gettin desperate to see his best friend for life roxas again and kidnaps kairi but shes like HEY I AINT HAVING THAT and runs off and ends up in twilight town but axel finds her and kidnaps her anyway but then saix kidnaps her to the world that never was. and so soras like WE GOTTA GO SAVE KAIRI AND RIKU NOW cause by the way earlier like midpoint of the game maybe Mickey was like SAY FELLAS DID SOMEONE MENTION THE DOOR TO DARKNESS and its one of my favorite quotes in this hell franchise, so like THYE KNOW KING MICKEY IS OK that just leaves kairi and riku and stopping the organization. so they find kairi and they find riku and sora cries a bit and im just happy the destiny trio is together again. And DiZ showed up again, hes actually ansem the wise, and he talks about computers and hearts and research and xemnas, the organizations leader, is likeI WAS YOUR APPRENTICE! BUT YOU DIDNT LET ME DO ILLEGAL HUMAN EXPERIMENT SON HEARTS SO I KICKED YOU OUT AND RREMOVED MY OWN HEART AND THATS WHY THERES A HEARTLESS AND A NOBODY OF XEHANORT and ansem the wise is like YEAH BITCH and he explodes and riku turns back to normal but he also really needs a haircut. so they go punch xemnas in his zebra coat and riku and sora chill in the realm of darkness for about ten minute son the beach, i guess aqua was hanging out somewhere else, and they get a message form kairi in a bottle and the door to light opens and they go home and it was literally!!!!! a better fucking ending!!!! than kh3!!!!!!!!! thats my tea!!!!!!

so then we have KH3D, dream drop distance, which begins telling us ‘hey when you kill a heartless and a nobody that person is gonna be recompleted so uhhhhh xehanorts coming back Thats Not Good, make sora and riku do their mark of mastery test in the realm of sleep to get the power of waking’ and thats the whole game but its great because flowmotion! dream eaters!  TWEWY TWEWY TWEWY T W E W Y!!!!!! playable riku!!! fun worlds!!! soriku!!! except KH3D’s fatal flaw is THEY INTRODUCED TIME TRAVEL INTO THIS FUCKING COMPLEX HELL HOLE I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR THAT. anyway rikus been doing a great hecking job!!!! except sora ended up in twtnw and kept chasing the dreams into the deepest pit of slumber and the organization broke his heart so they use him as one of xehanorts vessels [gesutres to my blog with will smith arms] yeeah babey. and riku is understandably like HEY GIVE ME MY FRIEND BACK and xehanort is like FUCK OFF TWINK and mickey and donald and goofy and axel, whos been recompleted as lea, arrive and steal comatose sora back form xehanort and xehanort monologues about the X-Blade split into 20 pieces- 7 of light, 13 of darkness- and so hes gonna make 13 vessels of darkness with his heart inside them and the guardians of light gotta gather 7 lights to clash and bringg about the keyblade war or bring about kingdom hearts, i-- i literally hate this series so much Why do you think i went on a year long hiatus??? i needed to calm the fuck down-- either way xehanort yeets off with his darknesses and soras STILL comatose and rikus like I WILL DIVE INTO HIS SLEEP AND SAVE HIM BECAUSE DEARLY BELOVED IS PLAYING AND if i continue this joke someones bound to get mad at me for ‘’’pushign a soriku agenda’’’ BUT YKNOW WHAT, RIKUS A REAL MVP AND PUNCHES A NIGHTMARE VEN AND SAVES SORA AND SORA HUGS HIM AND ITS GREAT AND I LOVE MY SONS SO MUCH and the kh3d ends with them saying ‘hey look kairis gonna do something!’ but Little Did We Know.

and thats your summary of what the fuck happened in kingdom hearts. i hate this game so much.

[lunosamentelunitoo]

Gintama 630 translation

TITLE: Bushido is discovered one second after death.

Soyo: Hello, this is Tokugawa Shigehie’s sister Shoyo, is that you Nobunobu sama?

Nobu2: ...

Sakamoto: What’s up, shogun sama? Don’t you want to talk with your retainers on earth?

Nobu2: ...

Sakamoto: Hello, I took over from the Shogun

Soyo: ....

Sakamoto: I am Sakamoto Tatsuma from the Kaientai, 

Sakamoto: For some reasons we are not sharing the action with the shogun, so don’t worry the shogun is fine. We failed our negotiations with the liberation army, but now we made an alliance with the liberation army’s admiral Shijaku.

Dude: Admiral!!

Sakamoto: Now we just escaped from jail.

Shijaku: I’m sorry, I made all of you join by betrayal

Dude: Is not like that,We joined the liberation army just for you admiral, and the liberation army now is already... 

Shijaku: Did something happened while i was jailed?

Dude: Admiral, prince Enshou now...

Sakamoto: So we are cooperating with admiral Shijaku, and the admiral’s homeland the planet Oukoku’s prince Dragonia, and Idiot... prince Hata. We gained total control of the liberation army’s mother ship the Amanotorifune. We gained a lot of collaborations, but even with that covering the difference in number is hard, but maybe we can do something using the people already on the ship. As for now we can’t stop this war using only violente measures, we should be able to contact our companions fighting on earth, they have to struggle for us a little more, and then we will met again alive on earth. Isn’t so Shogun sama? 

Shijaku: What’s that?? Is.. is that the truth?

Sakamoto: What’s up, admiral?

Shijaku: I am so sorry, but for the friends on earth is too late...it’s all lost

Enshou: The wheel of destruction is already moving.. and it is moving for you earthlings, this destruction army the Hinokagutsuchi. The  Amanotorifune was not our main ship, we collected the finest skills to make a pedestral for this massive weapon, it has the power to destroy a planet in just one blow, it was sealed for a long time cause it was seen as a feared taboo weapon, but we brought it back in order to reform our desire for this sacred war. the fact that for its use is necessary a huge amount of energy is an old story, Hinokagutsuchi is already ready to fire. In 6 hours this blue planet will be wiped out from the galaxy. Before dawn will come your planet will disappear forever from space. 

Genkai: In short, you can’t come close to earth, you have to shoot it outside in space, your treats lack of persuasive power. How many innocents has to pay for this war, it will be all useless, we will repay all back to you, under the same great cause a lot of comrades have come together and they are still fighting for the earth. 

Enshou: Is that so? And they wil become victims that fought for the same cause, they are just wasting time, because they can't defeat our holy war. But we would be really glad that the earth will become the foundation stone of our victory.

Dude: Prince... for what we are fighting for? We free devery star from the power of the Tendoshu, so why we are now fighting this people? And on top of that, in this way we will kill our comrades wtill on that planet. Doesn’t that make us like the Tendoshu? 

Enshou: That’s right. This war doesn’t have a great cause. But you know... great causes and such are just fine words used as a pretext to make weak ready to fight. I knew that form the beginning, once defeated the Tendoshu, the things we have lost won’t come back.  The planets.. the people we freed wont make all come back... So why are we fighting? Is the war all that is left for us? Tihs war is the only way to cure our pain, our hatred... All this is still burning, we will not stop fighting until all those feeling will be reduced to ashes. So do you see why? We decided to step over our comrades corpses, and that’s why the earth will be over just before the sun will set. Until that time will come stop that nanomachines, and we will show you destruction, in any case you bastards are doomed. 

Dude: Prince...

Soyo: Sakamoto san please answer! What’s does it means that for the earth is already all over? A destruction weapon... Sakamoto san??

Sakamoto: There is nothing to be worried about, when the planet is going to be destroyed and is not clear when it becomes more fun,

Soyo EH??

Shijaku: Run!!!!! It looks like they already understood our movements! This ship and the liberation army is still under that man’s control! This is the end! THere is no time left.. and no victory...

Sakamoto: So what? If there’s something left to do, we will do it together! (nothing is changed, tey say you will find bushido with death)

From Hata’s ship: The reinforcement from the planet arrived. 

Zura: Well. let’s start to detect the liberation army’s radars, let’s use the mother ship as decoy to lure out the enemy’s fleet. Let’s make a surprise attack using the stealth of this ship. Are you ready prince Dragonia?

Sakamoto: It is like visiting someone at the last moment

Hata:Why this is happening?

Sakamoto: Even with regret tasting live at its best, this is a samurai. Stretching until the dawn, there is nothing to complain about, so be glad, Samurai, we are still fighting. With regret, until just one flake will be left, fighting until somethig will be left.

Gintoki:  I WILL NO DRINK ANYMORE!!!!!

Soyo: ...moto san... Sakamoto san!!

Nobux2: Don’t be worried. Edo.. this country, I will rotect it at any cost. Your brother would say something like that, isn’t? He was a real shogun, that’s why. Too bad, I am not like that , I have no qualifications nor abilities for something like that. I hae used so many lives as stepping stones to be where I am now. But maybe I have the qualifications to become a stepping stone for this country. I have what it takes to fall in order to protect the people that have something to protect and have lost something protecting it. I am so sorry.

Soyo: I will not allow it... please.. come back alive. I will not allow it.. Come back alive to earth, We have to tell the news together, to my brother’s grave. We... have to protect Edo, not only you.. that’s why I will not allow it.