#please stop acting like I'm incompetent and lazy

[cimeriansparrow]

I cannot wait to not live in this house

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

Heya! I'm so excited that your submissions are open again, can't wait to see what you put out! Could I request the Papa's having a SO with auditory processing disorder please? Thank you~!

Aaaah thank you for such kind words!! It definitely feels so good to have the writing bug back again! Hope you enjoy!

For the usual disclaimer with subjects such as these, I tried to write for a broad variety of symptoms and experiences, so this won’t be just one type of APD experience. I also included some that are comorbid to other conditions (as that is where I have the most first hand knowledge of), I hope that is ok! <3 But, I always appreciate feedback so I can better write! :) 

The Papas with an S/O with an Central Auditory Processing Disorder

Papa Nihil: While he knows that it is not the same condition, Nihil understands the frustration it can bring. His hearing hasn’t been well since the sixties, when he destroyed it singing for his band! (Nihil always laments about how he wishes hearing protectors were more common back then!) Nihil sometimes can’t hear too well when his ears are acting up, and has to have things repeated to him constantly. So the first time you apologize for making him repeat himself he waves it off. Nihil rather have someone ask to repeat something a million times to understand what he’s saying than to have them half listen and not care. If you need anything repeated, then he will repeat it as much as you need! After all, he would expect the same courtesy from you! Other than that? This never phases him, as you are still you and he has to reason to give it mind. 

Papa I: One aspect of Papa that surprised you is how quickly he catches on to your condition. Normally, you find yourself having to have a five minute discussion on why “you can’t hear”, which can be so draining! But Papa understood what you were describing almost perfectly when you brought it up the first time. Papa was quick to asked what you would like him to do and he immediately implemented it. As a talented orator and linguist you both have worked for a way that helps you the best when you need. Papa never minds repeating or rewording himself, and even annunciates more clearly when he’s not paying attention. The biggest thing you have come to appreciate is that he doesn’t act exasperated or roll his eyes when you need something repeated, especially if you can’t grasp a specific single word (something you’ve unfortunately encountered with the impatient and rude before.) When you express this to him he shakes his head at how apathetic others are. 

Papa II: Many are quick to assume he loses his patience with you, as he has a reputation for being short with “incompetent idiots” he has worked with. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth! Papa has rolled his eyes at the very idea, because he would never treat your disorder like it’s the same as being lazy or uncaring (actually, he might punch anyone who implies that!) Papa is happy to do whatever it is you need him to do when the time comes. Lately, and rather unspokenly between you two, Papa just patiently sits when he waits for a response from you during a conversation. Sometimes it just takes you a minute to think about what he has said and form the right words before you reply. In the past this has made you anxious, but you’ve felt comfortable with him. Often you two will talk only for you to respond with, “what?” before suddenly processing everything he has said perfectly. The only time Papa will acknowledge your CAPD is if someone is being incredibly rude and you give him the go ahead to kick their teeth in! 

Papa III: Papa, admittedly, can have his own bad days with audio processing. Being a man with probable undiagnosed ADHD, he has had time to adapt and press through days he cannot hear... but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own bad days! Most of the time Papa finds it funny when you both get stuck in a “what did you say?” loop! Sometimes you misunderstand what he’s said, and when you ask, he complete misunderstands you right back! There have been days when you both have had to stop whole conversations and back track. Papa knows he doesn’t help when he gets excited and talks a mile a minute. You rarely mind, but he hates the idea of you not enjoying a conversation you are having difficulty following! Papa has learned to talk more slowly and thoughtfully (not because you are daft, but so he himself also has time to process what he is saying.) you both are wonderful supports for each other! 

Papa IV/Copia: Copia from the beginning knows about your auditory processing difficulties. It’s something you had no problem being open and straightforward about, as you like to inform your loved ones because it makes conversations easier for you! Copia always tries to be mindful of this! You’ve been able to work through it yourself with minimal help, but sometimes background sound really makes it difficult for you to process. While this isn’t always avoidable, Copia does his damndest to help! When you both have important discussions he tries to keep it during times it is quiet and you two can hear- away from crowds or loud areas. Copia is always mindful to turn off music or television when it helps- as you’ve asked him to do so on days where you find it harder to hear than normal. At the end of the day, he just wants to be accommodating and for you to know he takes you seriously without babying you. 

[omgkalyppso]

I can't just pick one because I'm indecisive af, so how about three for the WIP ask thing: "fairy," "wedding interrupted," and "the wind was bitter cold"? Or you can pick just one of these to elaborate on if that's too much lol

This is going to be a long ass post. Here we go!

fairy

Okay so I have an AU that I’ve promised myself not to start in earnest until either or both my soulmate au or mermaid au’s are finished. I’m calling it a fantasy au, but the doc is titled fairy because it primarily features Claude’s introduction and the make up of fantasy races for the fantasy au are as follows:

Fae - Vampire

Claude - Fairy

Hilda - Werewolf

Lorenz - Hedge Mage

Marianne - Werewolf

Ferdinand - The human child (now a man) exchanged for a fairy / changeling child

Edelgard - Human Hunter

Hubert - Human Hunter

Caspar - Human Hunter

Linhardt - Vampire

Seteth - Vampire

Rhea - Ancient Dragon

Sylvain - Human Hunter

Felix - Human Hunter

Ingrid or Mercedes - Human Hunter

Maya - Werewolf

Raphael - Werewolf

Ignatz - Werewolf

The hunters will be working in groups of three, and I can’t decide whether Sylvain + Felix + Ingrid as three of the Faerghus four is more interesting than Sylvain + Felix + Mercedes in the role of a cleric for the sake of monster hunting. I’m also undecided about whether and how to incorporate Dimitri as some wild thing that-maybe-killed-Glenn, but I feel more strongly about not including him to focus on the core plot in my outline.

Have an excerpt of blocked dialogue. Marianne is running from hunters and to keep her from being tracked, Hilda and Lorenz are destroying her shoes.

Lorenz: We do have a cobbler in town but whether they'll have something for your feet, I just don't - no!

Hilda: (coming back in the house, letting in each a white and black cat) What?

Lorenz: Hilda! Only the black cat is mine. Maggie.

Hilda: What's the big deal? (the white cat walks behind a couch or chair or something and comes out the other side as a white dove) Oh.

Lorenz: Yes. Oh. (white dove turns into a large moth, turns into tiny little fairy fey!Claude)

Claude: Wow, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get in here. (Lorenz tries to catch him) Hey! Careful.

Lorenz: Sorry?

Claude: It's fine. (Hilda does grab him) Oh. You're fast. (but he just poofs from her hand) Not that it matters.

Hilda: I'm so sorry Lorenz.

Claude: Lorenz! I almost didn't recognize you without the sun on your skin. Why's it so dark in here? (a knock at the door)

Lorenz: (to Claude) Hide. (who does)

Hilda: Seteth, hi.

Seteth: Whatever it is you're doing in here, you're not half as subtle as you think you are. There are hunters going door to door, and if that shock of blue hair is unusual to me, it will surely stand out to them. Hide your friend more securely. They will be here within the hour. I'm off to warn Linhardt.

wedding interrupted

The final chapter of my fic Lorenz and Hilda’s Paired Ending might end up stretched out to three chapters because as it stands I’m bullying them. I intend to interrupt their wedding night three times. The first two times with accidents / incidents relating to Sylvain.

the first time lorenz and hilda are interrupted his shirts are hanging open, hilda's fully dressed, they've basically been making out. cue knock at the door hilda: (distressed) Are you going to answer that? lorenz: I told them not to disturb me except for fire, kidnapping, or a declaration of war. (buttoning up, haphazardly before answering) Yes? chief of staff: There's been a small fire in the stables. lorenz: What? chief of staff: All steeds are fine, and are being round up by [servant] on his wyvern. We're going to move them to the barns on the eastern farmstead. lorenz: Was it arson? chief of staff: It appears to be ... incompetence. lorenz: Was anyone hurt? chief of staff: Not seriously. lorenz: (holding his forehead) Who was hurt, and in what way was it not serious? chief of staff: Margrave Gautier, your grace. Although he was uninjured by the fire, he took a rather nasty tumble from the roof of the tack house. lorenz: That's two stories up. chief of staff: It is. He landed in a rather soft pile of snow however, and is being treated in his rooms. lorenz: (exasperated) What was he doing up there? Was anyone else involved? chief of staff: His ... Beg pardon. Duke Fraldarius was ... present. One can only speculate what led them there, and what stole the Margrave's pants. lorenz: Ah. Well handled. (a pause) He's fine? chief of staff: He's fine. lorenz: Then I will deal with this on the morrow. Thank you for telling me. chief of staff: (as like a goodbye) Your Grace.

A break for you.

another knock at the door, lorenz is undressed, hilda is still fully dressed. things were Busy hilda: Don't answer that! lorenz: (desperate, plaintive) Your family is under my roof, I need to appear responsible. hilda: Bring up my family again and see how far that gets you. lorenz puts on a housecoat, goes to speak with his staff. i didn't bother blocking out this dialogue though it would likely be included lorenz: Hilda, I'm headed off for a few minutes. (starts pulling on pants at the least - not his dress pants) hilda: What? Why? lorenz: Your brother might be holding Sylvain hostage. hilda: What? Goddess, let me- lorenz: Please don't. hilda: But I could easily be fully dressed much faster. lorenz: Exactly. I'm obligated to go, and if people see me in a housecoat and you fully dressed, then they will know far more about our bedroom than I could ever stomach. (calling to her from the door) Don't undress. hilda: (calling back, while lorenz has the door open) I'm letting my hair down! (i ... can't not deal with lorenz who's been obsessed with marriage for at least eight years not wanting hilda to fuck him in her wedding dress) felix: I'm so sorry, your grace. lorenz: It isn't your fault, as far as I know, and, outside of public forums, you may call me Lorenz - we have enough years together. servant: He's still in there, my lord. chief of staff: (correcting) Your grace. lorenz: It's fine. Holst? Are you in there? holst: Lorenz? They fetched you over this? lorenz: Sylvain... Are you alright? Holst, they're calling this a kidnapping. holst: What? sylvain: I'm okay. lorenz: Can someone please open the door? holst: Ah! Right! felix: (relieved, going to sylvain's bedside) Sylvain ... lorenz: (slamming the door, keeping his staff on the opposite side) Are you all out of your minds? You can't even behave for four hours? sylvain: (apologetic, pleading) Lorenz. lorenz: (angry)I swear Sylvain, you have tested my patience three times tonight. (more annoyed and kinda sad than angry) And two of these moments have pulled me from my marital bed. sylvain: Shit. (gets elbowed in the head by felix) Fuck. lorenz: (about to lose his shit) Stop this, nonsense! sylvain: I'm sorry. holst: You have my apologies as well. lorenz: (rolling his eyes) I'll offer my forgiveness in the morning, assuming you refrain from any further tomfoolery. holst: Of course. sylvain: I won't be moving. lorenz: Alright. (a sigh) I am curious to know what happened here, but I fear Hilda will bar the door if I take much longer. felix: Thank you. lorenz: You are welcome. Your grace. felix: Felix. lorenz: Felix.

Another break

((much?) later) lorenz: Now where were we? hilda: Lorenz if someone knocks on this door while you're inside me you better not fucking answer it. lorenz: I ... hilda: If you answer it, you can sleep in the hallway. lorenz: I won't answer it Hilda. I'm all yours. (they fuck, and like, catch their breath and whatever) hilda: Mmmm, well now I'm undressing. lorenz: Good. Because I need to feel your body now. Let me help you. when they're both actually naked. we'll get the third knock on the door hilda: Lorenz, I swear to Seiros. lorenz: I ... I'm not inside you. (goes to get his housecoat) hilda: You cursed us! lorenz: I know, my dear. (opening the door) Please don't tell me someone's declared war. chief of staff: (amused, kind of mocking) No, your grace. lorenz: Then what (internally: the fuck) is so important that it couldn't wait?

The wind was bitter cold

This is a skyrim-adjacent fic featuring my oc Oretia and esaari’s Philip. It’s meant to be a werewolf fight and confession. The title of the wip is just the first line in the document because I was lazy and knew I’d remember what it was:

The wind was bitter cold. Layers in Winterhold were key to survival, and when someone of irregular size, taller, fatter, continuously growing children, were in need of a new one, Oretia found herself as busy as if she’d been hunting to feed the masses. This was to say nothing of the leather straps and parcels that found use in fishing and construction. She found it difficult to believe that the city had been so small and conservative before her arrival so as to ration away the whole winter.

Oretia wondered what resources the Jarl had at their fingertips, if the people did complain beyond her business of an inability to weather the cold and their hardships. For the moment, at least, she found purpose in being out in the woods, despite Philip’s warnings of full moons and things in the forest.

She’d had to hold back her laughter and embarrassment, and had resolved to tell her sister to be more subtle in the southern mountains, as stories like werewolves were infecting the city below.

The moon was full, and high already, though the sun had yet to set — brightening the fallen snow to a rich golden color, as well as the shaggy coat of an unexpected guest.

Oretia stared at the injured beast with reverence and surprise, and she had to wonder if it were they that had unnerved the local populace. A great elk, albino, but for the splash of blood staining its side, trailing down a shattered leg, hobbled north towards the cliffs and the sea. The creature was magnificent, beautiful and strange to look upon, covered in the fog of its own heavy breaths, and whether it had seen her, seemed resolute in its undoubtedly final act.

This was not how Oretia had intended to spend her evening. No matter what other ‘things’ there were in the forest, wolves and mountain lions and all manner of predators would pose a very real danger if they should find her. Yet as the elk lay down by the cliffside, it felt too much like a gift, from which deity or daedra she couldn’t be sure, but there was no walking away from such a calling.

The elk’s massive chest heaved with each pained cry, its haunting song echoing off the cliffside in a melodic death rattle. As Oretia approached, she could hear horkers bay on the shore below, terrified by the commotion, scattering into the sea. A predator may have heard the call already, but she was too close now, caught in the sad gaze of a large doomed eye, and it became a matter of pride and honor. Oretia readied her blade.