#please stay safe and drink your water bb <33 sending u so much love!!!
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noritoshiikamo · 3 years ago
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i typed out this whole long-ass ask detailing how much i appreciate u and ur blog, how amazing u are, and how ur so cute and yada yada
but then i read thru it and i 😬
so yeah. lov u, tee!! please dont ever be pressured about being on here, about putting out fics to cater to everyone :> followed you for your personality (ur random ass posts hahahaha) and was shocked to see u post a drabble (im sorry i didn't check if u were a writer i just followed immediately sorreh) and thot wtf y is she so good marvelous marvelous should probably tone it down with the notifs tho (yeah, i try to time it so as not to spam u...i also kinda get all "eek" thinking about authors going "oooh...xxxxxx i see u in my notifs again huh ehehehe u like this kink huh" embarazzzzinggg)
legit got embarrassed over the kinds of asks id send u "oml she's such a good writer im a dork for talking to her on anon" yknoe that kinda feel??? but its eh, its on anon so to u im 10 different ppl, probably lmaooo
anyway this is getting long and defeating my intent lol, so ur amazing okkk!!! i feel like i went thru diff levels of moods in this ask feeling kinda woozy ngl it's the cola
one day ill be loud and annoying in your notifs, anon-less ✨ but for now I'll just keep telling u to drink water, eat as well as you can and hope u sleep well on a warm (or cold, whtvr ud prefer) bed tonight! wish u all the best and pls give ur partner head pats or back pats for being amazing & for handling ur "sour" phase with the grace of a seasoned soldier
stay well and safe, tee!! take care always 💖 hug hug kiss kiss
u dont understand how much i looooooooove getting long ass love letter like this <33 im surprised to know that someone actually followed me for my dumbass personality AHAAHAHAHAHAHA literally im dull but okay i try my best lah to be funny HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH and YOU SENT ME ASKS BEFORE WHO ARE YOU
ngl i was like scrolling through my notifications trying to like see whos spamming likes but okay i cant im too dumb to deduce shit so yeah, you can get away this time bestie but im on your ass next time >:( come out of anon and pester my ass anonlessly, dont be a pussy come fight me bitch BAHAHAHAHAHAH
anyway i love your anon ass too, take care and pls come pester me more so i figure your ass out and yeah take care bb, drink water (whatever is in your cola i want some) and know that i love your ass so much and im not worthy of your praises
sincerely the bitch whos still stuck in her sour phase (literally listening to happier rn),
tee xoxo
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inkykeiji · 3 years ago
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Heya! Not a new follower but I never really had the courage to send anything thru your askbox (: i just wanted to say that i really love your works and love the age gaps! Reason why im saying this is bc of one ask i saw and also bc my bf is seven years older than me and literally everyone we know gives us tons of shit for it. Last week he broke down abd told me we should break up bc he doesn't want me to go thru all that bullshit for him. I'm gonna be 21 in late december and he turned 28 in early September and one of my now ex friends sent him a card saying "happy bday old geezer go fuck someone your own age". We'd been together long distance ever since I was 19 and this year he finally managed to move in my town. When we were long distance it was easier to deal w these comments but now that we can't even go out bc we'll bump into someone we know is fuckin awful. Is our relationship really not okay? I have my fair share of traumatic experiences and his family situation is actually pretty similar to Touya (he introduced me to bnha bc he really connected with dabi and before that shouto for slightly diff reasons) but like, idk my therapist says she doesn't think my traumas are influencing me to be w someone older (i cant explain it any better bc it would ve too personal) but yea I'm just so fucking scared and worried and even though your works are helping both of us it's still so hard some days. If we break up I'd rather it be bc we just don't click anymore, not bc someone doesn't like that he's seven years older than me. What do you think? Are we really doing the wrong thing by being together? Is he a bad person for bejng with me when i was 19? Weve always been fully aware of our age difference and didn't just jump in the relatiinship, we rlly talked about it cuz we know we shouldn't fall back on ppl who have too much going on to help us and for us to help them if that makes sense so why is it so bad? Sorry for this long depresing ask i just dont know where else to say it without feeling judged..
hello anon <33
first off, i want to begin by saying that i'm super happy to hear that you can find comfort in my work; that means so very much to me <3
oh gosh anon babie i am so sorry this is causing you both so much stress and anguish!! i have a lot to say so please bear with me, my response will be long!!
first of all, in my opinion, as long as your relationship is healthy and you both are happy, then it is absolutely NONE of anyone else's business. you're both adults. you both took the time to seriously think this out and made an informed decision. no two relationships are alike; they're all unique and they all depend on the participants in the relationship, you know? age gaps aren't always inherently BAD. they can be, but almost anything 'can be' bad (ie too much coffee can be bad for you, too much time spent online can be bad for you, etc.). circumstances and nuances and all of those little details matter A LOT, and they will vary greatly from relationship to relationship depending on a variety of factors. i think that there are so many people in our contemporary world that so desperately wish that moral matters such as these were easily definable and neatly categorized to fit into these tiny little boxes of GOOD and BAD when in reality morality is so extremely grey.
for example, the relationship between, let’s say, a 21 year old student and her 28 year old teaching assistant, or a relationship between a 21 year old worker and her 28 year old supervisor would have a more substantial power imbalance than the more simple imbalance in your own relationship which, based on the information you've given me, seems to ONLY pertain to the age difference. now, those examples i gave above don't automatically make those relationships BAD, it just means that there is a bigger potential for misuse of that power, etc etc. my point here being that there are SEVERAL factors that would influence an abusive or toxic misuse of that power, not always solely the age difference itself. does that make sense?
i think that card your ex friend sent him is incredibly tasteless. once again, your relationship is absolutely none of their business. also, if you've discussed this with your therapist and they don't think that it's harming either of you, i think that's a good sign!
i think it's also important to keep in mind that everyone will have different opinions on this situation, just as everyone has their very own set of morals and opinions and beliefs. everyone will have different feelings and 'truths' towards it. but your opinion doesn't have to align with theirs. YOU know your relationship best. YOU know what is true for your specific relationship and what isn't. just because one person doesn't agree with your relationship or thinks it is somehow 'wrong' doesn't mean it IS. there are plenty of people who think the content i create is 'wrong', and their opinions are fine and valid, and they're allowed to have them. i, however, 100% disagree with them, for several reasons. and that's okay, we can agree to disagree, and move on with our lives. 
i think what i'm really trying to say is: COULD an age gap contribute to some sort of misdoing (ie abuse) in a relationship? sure. does it ALWAYS? no, not at all. COULD a relationship with no age gap experience the exact same misdoings? YES, absolutely. there's so much more that goes into an unhealthy/bad/toxic relationship; so many other factors, you know? an age gap is just one of those things that COULD *potentially* be a singular factor, but is in no means and by no way ALWAYS a factor, or is this ALWAYS the case.
i totally get what you mean when you say you’d rather you break up because you don’t mesh well, NOT because of what others think of your relationship, and i agree!! i think it’s super sweet that he’s so considerate and is worried about what you might go through due to the judgemental people you’re surrounded by, but if you think he is worth the suffering, then tell him so! to answer your final questions: no, i do not think it’s wrong for the two of you to be together: this is a consensual relationship between two adults. i most definitely do not think he is a bad person; what would make him a ‘bad’ person are his INTENTIONS. if he got with you at the age of 19 with the INTENT to use the power imbalance an age gap may sometimes present to HIS advantage, he’d be doing the wrong thing. if he was manipulating you and using your inexperience or naiveness against you, he would be doing the wrong thing. do you see where this is going? his intention matters a lot more than the seven year age gap, in my personal opinion.
at the end of the day, it's your decision, and your morals, and your relationship. i can only offer you my opinions here, but you in no way have to agree with them, you know? it isn't my place (or anyone else's!!) to tell you whether or not your relationship is 'bad'. that's up for the two of you to decide. ultimately, i can only give you my thoughts based on the information you’ve given me; i don’t know either of you or your relationship, but YOU DO!! work together to make an informed decision based on the unique details of YOUR relationship, and try not to care what others think. there will always people who disagree with you, no matter what you’re doing, no matter how good you’re striving to be, and honestly that’s their problem, not yours. what matters is that YOU know the truth.
i hope this all makes sense anon, and i hope it helps a little <3 these are my personal thoughts on the issue!
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