#please slide into my dms

[anumacy]

Do do do

I wanna talk to you

Do do do do

I really wanna talk to you

(I'm a minor no nsfw)

[hummingbird-games]

(spoilers for Logan's route incoming, etc, etc)

I'll be honest, if I had known I was gonna be suffering from brain rot due to Logan's route, I would have played his last. Dead last. I would have forgone my 'play all endings' plans (which has already been dropped until 2023), played Adrian (and probably been obnoxious on here about him) and then Logan.

Instead I am sitting here, still losing my damn mind because he managed to check off everything on a list I didn't make!!?? HUH

There's a scene near the beginning where MC is on her period and I won't lie, I may personally acknowledge it's a normal bodily function but that doesn't mean I'm the most mature person about it blocks it out every month. And I think MC would relate to me with that, but here comes Logan who treats it like the normal thing it is, upset that MC would think him unable to handle talking about it, and that my friends set the tone for Logan's route for me.

So the attraction is definitely on both sides, but it soon becomes apparent that no matter how many times MC tries to brush interactions off as strictly platonic, some of those interactions very much NOT platonic, good lord, Logan is feeling MC heavy. H e a v y. HEAVVVVVY! *cackles in Black woman* And as I went further into his route, and we learned more about him, what breaks him down, what builds him back up again, I was overcome with a lot of Feelings™️. Including a fake-judgy one about him being a horror fan, but I forgave him rather quickly I fear.

...because then the bastard decided he needed to play sweaty twister with us and a bitch was gone.

She was gone, wig gone, edges gone, everything gone gone gone. (Yes you can choose not to engage with the18+ content, but as for me and my house, we follow the smut🏃🏽‍♀️💨) 

I had the audacity to actively pick "spice" and I WAS NOT PREPARED!! NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!

Forget girlfriend, I will be his WIFE if he asks!!! I'll even propose!!! 😭😭😭🥲

(If this review comes off as me being dickmatized, shut up. Shut it down. Stop point out things I'm well aware of. Shhhhhhhhhhhh.)

...On a more somber, chill note: Of all the things to love about Logan, I think it's his capacity for love. He doesn't beat around the bush, he's caring and considerate to a fault, and even at his lowest, even when he's hardest on himself, he still puts out good into his portion of the world. And that last part perfectly mirrors MC in my opinion. It's sweet. I want more of these kinds of feelings in my life, fictional and real lol.

I know this seems extra to add a read more after everything, but I have more to say. I always have more to say.  

And now a confession. I actually got Logan's neutral end before I got his good end and like, it was already late, and I had gone through the five stages of grief and I was legitimately distraught (this is what happens when your too true to your MC, istg 🤡🤡🤡 I looked over the guide to see where I’d messed up and it was very humbling and then I got his good ending so all was well sdjhfjshd.

This is so random, but for those who have watched the movie 13 going on 30? The scene where Jenna and Matty are talking before he gets married and she confesses and then he confesses too but it’s like too late for things to change?? Yeah I watched that at like 12(??) years old and I gotta say, I didn’t have ‘reliving the pain of watching a missed love connection’ on my 2022 bingo board...

[dirtflunk]

Dios Mio! A Liberal!

[thesquishypenguin]

My Cuddlebug (SFW)

Maxime Le Mal in all his buggy glory!

Maxime x Reader fluff/comfort - 'Full' bug Maxime/cannon

? slight exaggeration of body features ig? i just feel like he should have more spines? teehee I just like the idea of you two working around his body :)

Just over 2k words!

Now on AO3!

-

Neither of you were..*shy* about Maxime Le Mal’s..powers. Both of you were quite comfortable with his skin, in fact. Maxime didn’t seem to mind having his lovely coat off around you at all, quite happy to flaunt his superior insectoid body. While he preferred being warm, usually he found you and you love to be an excellent source of it that kept him heated. You found it rather endearing that the more he lost his temper, the more twitchier and animated he got with his extra parts. Hence why during his latest rant on something-or-other you weren’t quite listening to, you were staring at the pair of antennae twitching irritability on top of his head. You remember a remark he made about them, a small smile twitching onto the corner of your mouth as you pretend to listen while thinking about something else entirely than your lover’s ire. He seemed to notice this too however, cutting his eyes at you with scowl. “‘Allo? Are you even listening to me?! ‘Allooooo?”he waved a hand in front of your face until your eyes were back on his. He gave you a thin smile and carried on now that he had your attention once more.

Only to stop again a moment later with a huff, putting his hands on his hips, his second set of limbs gesturing out towards you slightly. “*What* are you staring at, ma chérie?!”. His eyes went from yours, upwards slightly to his own face in almost a roll of his eyes, then back to yours. Clearing his throat he slicked back his hair and antenna, only for the latter to spring forward again back into view. “Now I ‘ave lost my train of thought..” He threw up a hand before wiping it down his face, then pushed his glasses back up his nose. Flopping down he took a seat rather sourly and pouty next to you, crossing both pairs of arms in a huff. Clearly he was still worked up and you hadn’t really done anything to help that, had you? If he’d been wearing his coat it probably would’ve swallowed him up with how scrunched up and tight he was sitting.

He was glaring off to the side still wrapped up in his thoughts and emotions when you made a move to get closer. Sensing it he practically leapt off the couch, flailing his hands frantically at you “No! Ne fais pas ça!! You.. crazy!” he looked mortified at what you’d tried to do and gestured at his own limbs as he breathed heavily from the surprise. His face softened from judgemental shock to a somber upset and longing. “I..I don’t want to ‘urt you..” Maxime explained, picking at one of the spikes on his forearms - razor sharp and like a needle, every single one. On a regular cockroach they were mostly for grip - but at his size..well, pricking you the wrong way with one would be..most unfortunate. Sure they wouldn’t hurt so much when brushed the right way as they would flex down..but the wrong way they were rigid spears ready to impale you! You couldn’t just! Move in like that!

“..Zhe only downside..eh?..” He remarked sadly as he brushed over his arms; that his form made the intimacy he craved with you a tad more difficult for the pair of you- the spines were only a small part, mostly delegated to his forearms and calves and thankfully none too many. But they would still hurt if he pricked you with them..and..he could think of nothing worse than hurting you. It was, quite honestly.. the one and only drawback Maxime could think of. Even the pronotum plate covering his shoulders and neck was riddled with spines.He cast his sad eyes back your way only to find you smiling softly. You hadn’t shied away so far and..you weren’t about to start. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you” you started, watching as he moved swiftly to snatch his embroidered puffer coat off the back of the chair to bring to you. “I was going to be careful - promise” you added, rising from your seat to stop him from draping the item over you as a barrier from his body, like he was about to. Pausing in his actions he looked to you, taking in the soft and loving look on your face. “I want to hold you, my little cuddle bug. Please? As you are”. Pursing his lips Maxime almost looked like he was about to cry; his adoration for you written all over his face as he stared at you, replaying what you said in his head. Not everyone appreciated cockroaches as much as he did and….he understood that might make him physically..unappealing.. to most. But..not you, apparently. He was..very grateful, to still have your love and affection, even with the changes he’d made to himself. Both sets of arms sagged, too caught up in his emotions to move for a moment - but he eventually pulled himself together and in a hurry placed the coat back on the chair, barely able to take his eyes off you. “You are a treasure  - Please, I would like zis very much so.”. 

“Thank you!” you chimed brightly “We’ll figure it out.” you sat back down on the couch and opened your arms. Fidgeting with his hands momentarily he looked over the way you sat and made an unsure nose. “Ehhh..slowly..let me..” he voiced his intention to be..very…very careful in the way he slinked over and positioned himself against you, his tongue stuck out in concentration the entire time. Slowly but surely Maxime sank into your side, his arms around your waist and the second set tucked up close to his own body out of the way. He sighed in relief as he managed not to prick you as you arranged your bodies together, though you had to be equally careful how or where you placed your arms around him to hold him close to you. He hummed with deep satisfaction as he nuzzled his face into your side, so happy to be snug as a bug in your arms. Other than cockroaches, he loved nothing more than *your* love. 

You certainly didn’t think it was as big of a deal as he did. Sure he was a little sharp in places and..his general form was rather..unconventional; but he was still your Maxime and you could (and were!) most certainly find even more ways to show each other your love. But clearly something nipped at the back of his mind about it, and how *you* might feel about it. Still, for the moment he was contently pressed into your side, sighing blissfully.

With a sly movement while he was thoroughly distracted, you brushed your hand lovingly against one of his antennae. The effect was immediate, Maxime tensing up and going rigid at the intrusion upon such a delicate sensory organ. You passed over it again with your hand, soft, gentle and warm. He was used to doing it himself but not so used to *you* touching him there, evident in the whimper that left his lip. You weren’t sure for a second if it was a good thing as he seemed to be holding his breath; tense in his arms in particular as his fingers curled up to ball his hands, grabbing fistfuls of your clothing. But you tried once more to see where it got you, brushing some of his hair down out of the way and running both antennae under your hands..feeling them twitch under your touch- even flicking back and feeling for you to try and stay in contact. Maxime finally let his breath out in a deep moan, a great deal of the tension and worry he was holding leaving his body. His head on your shoulder, peeing up at you he mumbled. “C-C’est le paradis..I ‘ave died  and gone to ‘eaven..surely..!” he sighed dreamily up at you, face smushed into your arm. 

“E-Encore..please…again…please do it again.”. With a warm smile at your lover you obliged, caressing his antennae again. Maxime tense up once more as your hand moved over them, then shuddered as the contact stopped. He moaned softly “*Oh*…*oh*!…Amazing…you are amazing..” he sang your praises even at the simple motion. You continued to pet him slowly, earning soft moans and mutterings from your French darling as each time he tensed up he released more of his earlier stress with a pleasant shivver. 

The delightful sensation of your love directed there in particular sent it thrumming all over his body. Maxime let out another deep moan as you gently twirled your finger around one of them, careful not to tug or wrap it too tight. Combined with a sweet kiss to the bridge of his nose it sent his wings into a little flurry behind his back and earnt you another whimper from him. Not fully out but enough to buzz them with his enjoyment - the sound of his much bigger ones and the breeze too much more noticeable than that of a little roach, it was impossible to ignore. Quite frankly he was a little embarrassed at the somewhat involuntary movement when he caught it, judging by the hot blush on his face and the sheepish chuckle he let out. “Ahaha..ha…ha…I-...ehh…” he trailed off, unsure what to say as he shifted himself around slightly and tucked his wings very firmly away again. “I think it’s sweet” you mused “Oh…pshh..come..” he tried to wave you off. 

You distracted him from his embarrassment with a soft kiss to his lips, one he eagerly returned as he slipped his tongue into your mouth to make out. Humming his delight just before you pulled away to talk, Maxime chasing after your lips with his own. “Let me try something..?” you asked after you pulled away from your kiss. “Hm?” he chuckled coyly, “A little adventurous today, no?.. I like it!”. Maxime seemed amused, animated and excited with the turn of events and your eagerness to explore him. “I trust you..” he let you proceed, if it was anything like they’d recently discovered he couldn’t wait! But a small frown came over his face as for the moment all you did was go back to petting his antennae - though it was hard to keep that emotion there, instead his eyebrows knitted upwards at the pleasure it was bringing him until he was back to a mewling whimpering mess. 

“Mon ange..Mon amour…*please*..” he pleaded with you for something a little more, for whatever it was you wanted to experiment with. “It feels so…so good..!” Words seemed to fail him as he couldn’t come up with anything more grandeur in phrase than that. Craning up slightly to oblige his sweet requests, you guided his antennae closer with your hands. Nuzzling into your chest he brought his head closer for you with another mewl of delight, huffing hot air through your clothing onto your skin. You very softly pressed your soft, warm lips to his sensitive antennae, bestowing all of your love to him and his unconventional parts. His arms clung around your waist tightly as he once again trembled, antennae shuddering under your lips before the rest of him followed and another deep moan left his lips. His grip on your waist tightened as he pressed his face further into you if it were at all possible, his glasses askew. 

“You..” he breathed “You are magnifique..! I-I love you.” Maxime gave you the most lovestruck and dopey grin as his arms relaxed once more, chest heaving with heavy emotions and the deep feeling of being in love and intimate with you. “I love you too, my little love bug” you cooed as you plucked his glasses to put them out of the way. Maxime scrunched up his face in delight and amusement, still blushing as he let out a little laugh. Smoothing his hair and antennae back for him he shuddered again, and he wagged a finger at you as he propped himself up, chin on your shoulder. “Ah-Ah-!…it is my turn, eh? Pucker up!” he practically cackled with delight before pursing his lips exaggeratedly and covering your entire face with fevered kisses.

[chubbychiquita]

I know you're a big fan of mythologies, but what are some other topics you would gleefully infodump about if given the chance?

incidents of survival cannibalism, prion diseases, prehistoric medicine, vaudeville, the personal life of american revolutionary war heroes, and the historicity of jesus 🤗

[leupagus]

I'm having that problem where instead of writing the fic, I instead want to tell somebody about what happens like it's a dramatic retelling of a story I STILL HAVE TO WRITE.

[emry-stars-art]

✨woah✨

There’s some product-specific info at my ko-fi commissions page, although you don’t have to order through kofi! Link to that is here 🥰

GENERAL TERMS HERE!

[loubella77]

DMs welcome!! 🫶

Ask me for my OF or menu!!

[frikatilhi]

I'm just catching up and read your thoughts on the Bojere Universe's potential (or lack thereof) for a long-term happy ending and honestly I do love the angst potential of this whole situation. The idea of the two of them knowing that there's something between them, that they could be Something - not just something, that they could be great together - but also knowing that it just wouldn't be feasible with the lives they lead and the plans they have, that sooner or later it would become unsustainable and that would just hurt too much. So they never cross that line, not because they're unsure of each other's feelings, but because if they don't know what they're missing out on, it's easier to pretend they're fine with it. But sometimes during a late night call, when there's a lull in the conversation, one of them will go "I wish..." and the other one will just respond "yeah, me too."

(and then they find a way to make it work and their friends help them figure it out and they're happy together and split their time between Finland and Slovenia because actually I can't stand unhappy endings sfhgdfsj)

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, ANON! Please, can I order 10K more (with the happy ending plis)

...I mean, I strongly agree. The what-ifs and should-haves and maybes aroung this whole thing makes for delicious angst, and I'm here for it.

And even if you don't bring shipping into it, the sadness of sad bojere bitches comes from the fact how they have this great thing between them, but they can only be together very little, and the unrealised potential of the whole situation is just, well, sad.

[bonding-experience]

[itsaboutbee]

I need like someone to introduce me to some of the new-ish ninjago villains bc i stopped watching before the Harumi season-

[wimbledon2008]

i've been so hurt before so in my head i'm forever like they're never letting him out they're going to torment eddie diaz until he's married off to some random woman in a series finale montage while buck stands at his side as his best man both of them looking like the happy smilers being held at gunpoint. then in my heart of hopeful hearts i'm like...what if they're getting my favorite guy in the whole world eddie diaz out RIGHT NOW

[redgemwink]

AHAA I FINALLY GOT THE ALL GIRLBOSS TEAM IDC WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I WON

[disturbnot]

consider this a small starter call. if i have enough energy after work, i'll see what i can do!

[strawb3rryshortcak3s]

Doing job applications is soul sucking. Doesn’t the universe understand I should get paid to read books and online shop 😫

[woundlingus]

I need a girlfriend who’s a boyfriend and I need her to be sooooo evil you don’t even understand