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cevansbrat0007 · 2 hours ago

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Guessing Games: A Fast Car Interlude

Summary: You accidentally trigger Ari's jealous streak. Takes place directly after the events in Guessing Games.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Implied Future Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Jealous!Ari, Innocent Flirting, Stupid Men, Manhandling, Mentions of Spanking, Discussions of Self-Image, Mentions of Lingerie, Semi-Public Sex, Allusions to Fingering, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: After a shitty week, please enjoy this completely self-indulgent fic. Part of my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“Hey. I know this car.” You think as you come to stand in front of a vehicle on display that happens to look strangely familiar. Smoothing your hands down the skirt of your sundress, you manage a quick side-step, narrowly avoiding a collision with a small child who was too busy enjoying his ice cream cone to pay attention to where he was going.

You’ve been wandering around Fulton County’s annual Classic Car Showcase for the better part of an hour now, and so far things were going better than you’d expected. And not only that, but you were even beginning to have fun.

“I can see why this one caught your eye.” A familiar voice muses as he comes up behind you.

“I’m trying to figure out where I’ve seen it before. But I’m drawing a blank.” Angling your body, you reach for one of Ari’s big hands, grasping it with both of yours. “Any ideas?”

“You really don’t recognize it?”

“‘Fraid not.” Your lips purse as you continue to wrack your brain.

“It’s an exact replica of The General Lee, the 1969 Dodge Charger driven by Bo and Luke.”

“Who?” You stare up at him confused.

That earns you a chuckle, followed by him placing a gentle kiss atop your head. “Bo and Luke. From The Dukes of Hazzard. It was a popular show back in the eighties.” He explains, brushing a stray curl away from your face.

“Oh. Got it.” You nod, pretending to understand. “Mystery solved.”

You both stand there a few moments longer – mostly so he can admire the engine, or whatever the hell you assumed he was doing. Once he’s looked his fill, it’s apparently time to move on to the next car that catches his interest. You’re seemingly content to trail behind him until you happen to spot a nearby cluster of tents.

“Ari?”

“Yeah, little Bird?” The rich timbre of his voice has you smiling before you even realize you’re doing it.

“I reckon all this car hoppin’ has me feelin’ a little parched.” You tell him, turning your attention to the concessions located just across the lot. “I’m gonna go fetch myself a lemonade real quick while the lines are short.”

As expected, your man responds without missing a beat. But not before leading you over to the shade so that you can continue your conversation. Which was a good thing seeing as the temperature outside was hovering around the mid-eighties.

“Well, we can’t have that now can we?” Mirroring your smile, he brings your hand to his lips so that he can kiss the ridges of your knuckles. “Let’s go get you somethin’ to drink.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll go while you hang out here in the shade.” Your palms come up to rest against the hard wall of his chest. “Besides,” you continue when he opens his mouth to object. “It’s not like I’m going far. I’ll just be right over there.”

“Nah.” Ari swiftly disagrees, adjusting his sunglasses. “How about you wait here while I go get us both something to drink?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.” He gently flicks the tip of your nose. “After all, what kinda man would I be if I left my sweetheart out here to melt?”

“I mean…if you insist.” Rising on your toes – a feat made easier thanks to your wedge heels – you plant a smooch on his bearded cheek. “Hurry back, sugar.”

Now that he’s officially a man on a mission, Ari wastes almost no time making a beeline for the concessions. But not before issuing a stern warning to you, his curious little Bird.

“Don’t you go wanderin’ off on me, darlin’.” He growls, leaning down to tenderly peck your lips . “I expect to find you right here in this spot when I come back.”

And then he’s gone. You barely have time to respond with a playful salute before he’s striding off in search of sustenance for you both. Leaving you alone to twiddle your thumbs while you dutifully await his return.

Not that you minded. If anything, grateful for this brief respite from the heat. It never crosses your mind to abandon your spot in favor of looking at more cars. At least, not until you spy one that has you gasping in pure delight.

“Woah.” You breathe as you come to stand in front of the one vehicle with the power to transport you straight back to your childhood: a 1958 Plymouth Fury.

Better known as the car from Stephen King’s novel, Christine.

You’d absolutely loved this movie as a kid. So much so that your Uncle had bought you your own personal copy after he got tired of renting it for you weekend after weekend. Why, you must’ve seen it over a hundred times.

But as luck would have it, your private glee is interrupted by the sound of a voice coming up behind you.

“She’s a beaut, ain’t she?” The man asks, his southern drawl growing even more inviting when he tips his black stetson. “Restored her myself.”

“Holy crap! It looks just like the one from the film.” You chirp, reaching out to run your fingers along the shiny finish before swiftly thinking better of it. “Sorry.” Is all you can manage as you turn to face him. “I just…never thought I’d get the chance to see it in person.”

“Well…” The dark haired cowboy admits, flashing a chagrined smile. “It’s not actually the car. But it’s pretty dang close. Took me a few years, seeing that pretty smile of yours makes it all worth it.” His smile only grows wider as he holds out his hand to you. “The name’s Russell, by the way.”

You two spend a few more moments exchanging names and pleasantries before he politely redirects the attention back to the prized vehicle in front of you. Russell invites you to ask any questions you like, only to laugh when you eagerly take him up on his offer.

In fact, you’re enjoying the conversation so much that you hardly notice when he slowly begins inching closer to you, his leanly muscled frame almost boxing you in. He was charming – you’d give him that much. And easy on the eyes.

Russell was the type of man who warranted a second look. Or at least he would. That is, assuming you hadn’t already been blessed with the gift of Ari Daniel Levinson.

“You know,” He murmurs, his cool gaze warming as he boldly peruses your dress. “Something tells me this conversation would pair wonderfully with a glass of wine.” His hand reaches for yours once more. “Perhaps over dinner?”

“Oh, I’m sorry...” The shocked apology comes tumbling out of your mouth. “I–I can’t. I actually came with someone. He’s–”

“Look, I don’t wanna be too forward.” Russell smoothly interrupts, stroking his thumb along the ridge of your knuckles. “But I haven’t been able to let you out of my sight since I saw you damn near an hour ago. Honestly can’t remember the last time I came across a woman as sweet as you.”

“That’s awfully kind of you to say.” You reply, intending to let him down easy.

“I saw that fella you were with.” He continues in earnest, still refusing to relinquish his grip on your hand. “Also saw him walk off and abandon you too.”

“He didn’t – no one abandoned anybody!” Closing your eyes, you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation. You weren’t used to men hitting on you like this. It has you feeling way out of your depth.

“Be that as it may, I also believe in fate.” His already gravelly voice dips an octave. “I mean, I’ve come to this showcase year after year and never once have I met someone as beautiful as you.”

“I…I’m not sure I’d go that far.” You hedge as you weigh your options.

On one hand, you really did want to be polite. But you also needed to be firm. You already had a man in your life. A man who owned you – mind, body, and soul. Not that you’d had any say in the matter. But these days, you were well past complaining about the handsome Beast of a man you’d come to cherish.

“Think about it.” Your would-be suitor implores, giving you a gentle squeeze. “There has to be a reason our paths crossed today.”

‘Alright.’ You think to yourself. ‘It was officially time to put a nail in this coffin.” You open your mouth to respond, only to have someone else beat you to the punch.

“I think it’s about time you let go of her hand.” Ari rumbles, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest. “Now.”

“Something I can help you with, buddy?” Russell responds without hesitation, clearly annoyed by the other man’s sudden reappearance. “Because the lady and I were in the middle of a conversation.”

“And I’m sure it was a great one.” Your bounty hunter is too busy glaring at his apparent rival to pay you any real mind. Although, he’s quick to shove a cup of what you suspect to be lemonade into your palm the second Russell releases his hold. “Too bad it’s over now. Let’s go, sweet Bird.”

The ice in his tone is enough to make you shiver. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Ari was none too happy to find you entertaining the company of another man. But the last thing you’d expected was for him to be jealous.

Unless you were reading things wrong.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to wait, fella Russell surprises everyone by coming to stand almost nose-to-nose with Ari. “Because she and I were about to take the ride out for a little spin.”

“We most certainly were not.” You try, impatiently tugging on his arm. “Ari, let’s just go.” Although, you’re not surprised when you end up being completely ignored.

“Oh yeah?”

“Guess that’s what happens when you abandon a pretty little flower like her all alone in an empty field.” Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Russelly makes a point of poking your man in the center of his chest. “I’m just glad I was lucky enough to be here to catch your mistake.”

Worry fills you when you see Ari simply nod along, his brawny shoulders wrought with tension. Sucking on his teeth, the bounty hunter briefly looks away as he forces himself to take a calming breath. Not that it seems to help any.

“You know what? I get it. No, really–I do.” Ari smirks, reaching up to lightly scratch at his jaw. “I knew what I was getting into, walking into this showcase with this beautiful woman on my arm, wearin’ the hell out of that dress.” One thick arm wraps itself around your waist, hauling you close. “My girl turns heads everywhere she goes. She’s just too sweet to realize it.”

Tucking you behind him, your man bridges the last bit of distance between himself and Russell. And while you can’t see his face, you’re shocked when he gently lifts his rival’s hat from his head, tossing it in the direction of his forgotten plymouth.

“And sometimes that sweetness makes cowboys do stupid fuckin’ things.” Ari continues, sounding almost smug. But you don’t miss the danger in his tone. “Which is why I’m gonna be the bigger man right now and walk away, before I give into the urge to find out if you have what it takes to make the long drive home with a fractured arm.”

“Alright, that’s enough from you two.” You snap, finally fed up with all this male posturing. After all this nonsense, you just wanted to sit down and enjoy your drink before all the ice melted. “Russell, cool car. But I’m not interested, okay? And as for you, Ari?”

In lieu of responding, your man chooses to quirk one impatient, tawny brow.

“You’re looking a little flushed. I think it’s time we got you outta this sun.” Grabbing his wrist, you proceed to physically drag him away from the scene. It takes virtually all your might, but you’re grateful when his legs finally begin to move.

You don’t stop walking until you reach a set of picnic tables that are far enough away from the show to give you both some much needed privacy while you hashed things out.

“Darlin’, I can tell by your face you’re fixin’ to yell.” Ari growls, yanking his arm out of your grasp. "And I'd like to make my case before you start." His frown only deepens as he watches you perch on the edge of a bench, but not before taking a dramatic sip of your ice cold lemonade.

It tastes divine – the perfect treat for a hot summer’s day.

“Did you really have to throw the poor man’s hat?” You ask, fanning yourself.

“Probably not. But it felt good.” He shrugs, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Should’ve stuffed his ass in the goddamned trunk while I was at it.”

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but I was in the process of letting him down easy.”

“Could’ve sworn I told your bratty self to stay put where I fuckin’ left you.” His normally clear blue eyes glitter dangerously, letting you know that he’s pissed. “I mean, it was bad enough waitin’ in line listening to two idiots talk about which one of ‘em was gonna be brave enough to ask for your number…”

“Yeah right.” You scoff, looking up at the sky as you pray for patience.

“Roll ‘em at me one more time, baby. Swear to God.” Scrubbing a hand over his jaw, he finds himself wondering for the umpteenth time just what the hell he’d been thinking bringing you to something like this with you wearing a dress like that. “I’m just itchin’ for a reason to lift that skirt and redden your luscious ass.”

In Ari’s mind, you were always the prettiest girl in the room. But on a day like today? You were downright irresistible. And what made it even worse is that you honestly had no idea the effect you had sometimes – on him and almost every other man who came into your presence.

“You can’t talk like that!” You hiss, hoping that you weren’t being overheard.

“And just why the hell not?”

“Because we’re in public, you Beast!”

Rising to your feet, you set your drink on the table, deciding it might be better if you put some distance between you. Too bad Ari chooses to follow, walking you backwards until you feel yourself collide with the base of a nearby tree. His hands come to rest on either side of your head, effectively caging you in with his much larger frame.

“I should’ve known what I was getting into the moment I decided to let you walk outta the house wearing that dress.” Ari rasps, trailing his nose along the delicate column of your throat. “I thought I was safe, even with that lacey little surprise you’ve got hidin’ underneath.”

You barely manage to stifle a moan when your man captures your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking hard before releasing it with a soft pop. One of his hands leaves its purchase to settle dangerously low on your hip.

“But I see now that’s not enough for you, is it baby?” You press your thighs together when that same hand moves once again. This time its way under your skirt, his short, blunt nails dancing along your skin as his mouth hovers a mere centimeter above yours. “I’m not sure why you thought it might be a good idea to tease me like this. Not too keen on you flirting with other men.”

“I promise I wasn’t.” Your eyes flutter closed as he grinds his growing erection against the softness of your belly. “I just got excited about the car. It’s from one of my favorite Stephen King stories.”

“Is that why I found you two holdin’ hands?” You let out a whimper when you feel the roughened pads of his fingers dig into your heated flesh, making you squirm in his hold. “Because you were excited?”

It wasn’t often that your man got riled up like this. But when he did there was almost no getting through to him until he calmed down. If you were lucky, you could typically drag him to some place quiet, away from prying eyes and listening ears.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, sugar.” Leaning up, you press a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I suppose I wouldn’t like it either if I saw you holding hands with a random woman. Promise it won’t happen again.” You add, weaving your arms around his trim waist after all you receive is a grunt for your trouble.

Although you can’t help but notice that some of the tension seems to have finally left his shoulders.

“Thank you.”

Ari allows his forehead to rest against your own as he struggles to collect himself. Wanting more, you cup his face with your hands, bring his mouth down for a much needed kiss. His eager tongue dances with yours, demanding more of your submission with each passing second.

You’re both breathing hard when you finally come up for air. However, you realize your man’s not done. At least not yet.

“You’re enough to drive a man insane. You know that?” He groans in between soft, sensual kisses. “I swear I try to be progressive – I do. I got sisters. A niece.” A sound almost like a purr rumbles in his chest as he nuzzles his nose in the crop of your neck. “But I’m man enough to admit I’ve got a jealous streak. Never was much of a problem until I met you.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” You murmur at the same time as your pussy spasms, dampening your panties with your slick.

“Good.” Ari lifts your leg, hitching it around his waist and not giving a damn who sees. “And Bird?”

“Uh huh?” A shiver courses through you as he begins covering your exposed flesh with tiny, possessive love bites. This time you make no move to stop him. Thank goodness you’d had the foresight to pack some concealer.

“I hate to break it to you.” His mouth finds yours once more, deliberately teasing you with each sensual stroke and flick of his tongue. “But you and me, we’re not gonna make it back to Bell’s Creek tonight.”

“And w–why is that?” Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head as his fingers find your clit, toying with the swollen nub through the soaked fabric of your panties.

“Because I’m having the damnedest time trying to talk myself out of fucking you hard and fast on the hood of my truck.” He responds with an unapologetic shrug. “But I suppose I’ll just have to settle for a hotel, huh?” Grinning, he increases the pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves, loving the way you buck and writhe beneath his touch.

“I’ll start looking for reservations.” You move to reach for your phone even as your vision starts to blur. “But whatever you do…oh God…just please don’t stop.”’

END

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blueskylinesx · 2 days ago

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Tomato Red - Chapter 7

Parings: Jesse Cash x Female Reader/Cafe Bookstore Barista

Warnings/Triggers: Mild/course language, talks of relationship/past relationship abuse, traumas, struggles. Sibling/sister relationships, anxiety, nervous/panicky behavior, fidgeting, stress. Flirty banter, flirty texts, *FLUFF, *SMUT, sexual tension, kissing/making out, teasing, foreplay, biting/licking, fingering, hand jobs, oral sex with male & female receiving, sexual intercourse, P in V, sex in public, unprotected sex, mentions of eating meat, jealousy, feelings of possession.

Author's Note: I had sooo much fun writing chapter 7!! Also, this is my first time really writing full smut so I hope that it meets everyone's standards. Thank you all again so incredibly much for everyone's support on Tomato Red. I never imagined my silly little Jesse Cash fic would have ever made an impact and it's so cool to see so many other's enjoying the words I type out here.

This chapter is a spicy one so buckle up!

If I missed any warnings/triggers please let me know so that I can add them to the list!

Tags: @thefallennightmare @artificialbreezy @collidewiththesav @collidewiththesavannah @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chewyylynn @cncohshit @arkiliastuff @lma1986 @lonelydragonlady @supersquirrel1996 @thatchickwiththecamera

If you would like to be added to the tags list please let me know and I would be happy to do so! :)

JESSE

I slid my hand up underneath my pillow to pull my phone out from under it to silence my alarm. I brushed the few messy strands of curls away from my face and flipped over on my back to stretch out my arms and let out a deep yawn.

ERRA’s second show was tonight and I had to get up and get ready for the day that was ahead of me. First I would go find coffee and some breakfast after getting dressed, find time to bullshit around before sound check, and then Y/N should be back in time for the show tonight.

After putting up with enough of Matt’s agitated mumbling during mine and Y/N’s reunion last night, I ended up bringing her and Kate back to the bus to formally meet the rest of the guys. Everyone really seemed to kick it off and Y/N seemed to have no problem settling in.

Which made me extremely happy. Not that I ever had any doubt that the guys would have any issues with her, she was fucking amazing in every way. But anxiety is always creeping in the back of my mind and I was worried that maybe all of this would be too much for her.

She was definitely shy at first but once we all sat around sharing slices of pizza and watching Alex and JT fail horribly at Call Of Duty things naturally fell into place and it was like she had been a part of the pack since day one.

She even chimed in on all of our shit talking and JT now owes her twenty bucks because he talked so much shit about how he’s the best at “Search and Destroy” and could go zero deaths to back up his point, and then died the first minute into the match.

I’ll make sure he remembers to pay up.

I pulled back the privacy curtain and hopped out of the bunk. The cool dark carpet of the bus meeting the bottom of my feet. I was still in just a pair of black briefs so I reached into my bunk to pull out my black t-shirt I tossed off to the side last night, slipping it over my head and flattening it down over my core.

I then ducked down into the bunk below and shifted through my bag to dig out a pair of old blue jeans and pulled them up over my briefs and fastened them with an eagerness to find caffeine.

Typically we would have all just driven to the venue since we were playing a home show in LA.

But since it was a quick two day show and Matt had flown in to help us with all our sound shit, we figured it would just be easier to pack up the bus and pack everyone in here for the weekend.

I made my way out into the front area of the bus, Conor was sitting on the couch bench with his leg crossed over, ankle resting against his knee, with a book perched in his lap. “Ahh, finally reading the book I lent you like three months ago?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Hey I was getting to it, and as you can see, I got to it.”

I made my way past him and slipped on my pair of white adidas sneakers, “I’m heading out to go find some coffee and whatever sugar loaded crap I can find for breakfast. Do you want anything?”

“Nah, I’m alright. The venue brought in some donuts to the green room this morning and I managed to snag a few before heading back here.”

“If you change your mind, text me.” I reached over to the table across from him and grabbed my gray hat with the embroidered white flower and slipped it on before making my way off the bus.

Before I turned to shut the bus door behind me, Conor yelled out, “be safe and don’t talk to strangers!” I blew him a kiss through the window and he laughed back in return.

With my shoes now against the pavement and the hot LA sun shining down on me, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. Before opening up my maps to search for local coffee shops nearby I opened the text thread between me and Y/N, the last text was when she had texted me last night letting me know she and Kate had made it back home.

We had lost track of time while we were all hanging out on the bus and before we knew it, it was already almost 4am and Kate was going on about how she had to be up in three hours to open the cafe. I didn’t want Y/N to leave, especially since I had just gotten her back in my reach, but she promised she would be here today and would show up early to catch the full set. So I trusted her with her words.

With one foot trailing behind the other I began typing out a text to Y/N.

Me: Good morning darlin, I hope you slept well. I’m currently walking through downtown in search of caffeine. Although, I already know it will pale in comparison to your expertise.

Not even a second later and a response came through.

Y/N☕️: Wow, it’s not even 10am yet Mr Cash and you’re already cheating on your barista. Next time you come in I’m giving you decaf.🥱

I chuckled down at my phone screen and quickly looked up to make sure I wasn’t walking head first into anything on my adventure to find coffee.

Me: Is this our first fight?😬

Y/N☕️: No, unless you tell me that they make a better matcha latte than me�� then yes.

I let out another chuckle at her response. I didn’t even think it was possible that anyone could make a better matcha latte than Y/N’s. Granted I had never had one before the one she had made me but, I knew that for the rest of my life, I would never order a matcha latte from anyone other than her.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee and milk frothing from an espresso machine echoed in the distance, breaking my sight away from my phone, and I looked over to see a deli/coffee place to my right. A lady came barreling out of the front door with her two children at her side and I reached over to help grab the door so she wouldn’t end up spilling hot coffee down her front side.

She gave me a pleasant “thank you” with a smile and quickly rushed her children out of the doorway so I could make my way inside. It was definitely the typical downtown modern coffee shop with leaves glued up on the walls and a white cursive neon sign that said Rise & Shine that hung above a two seater dusty pink couch.

It didn’t have that familiar cozy homey feel that Y/N and Kate’s cafe had. I got in line and eyed over the menu. They did have a matcha latte listed under their beverages so I pulled out my phone and opened up the camera to zoom in on it, taking a photo and sending it over to Y/N.

Me: Well, would you look at that… Mary Kate & Ashley’s downtown coffee shop has matcha late’s on the menu!

Y/N☕️: Yeah, and it probably tastes like overpriced grass milk.😂😂

She did have a point, the matcha latte started at eight dollars and that was for a small.

I inched up closer to the counter and the young lady working the register motioned me forward. “Are you ordering with your rise and shine cafe points card today?”

I internally cringed at her question. I knew it wasn’t her doing on the super creative, one of a kind, made up points name system, however, her high pitched tone wasn’t helping the cause either.

I shook my head, “No, I’ll just have a medium hot coffee with light cream and sugar please.” This girl was nothing like Y/N. She didn’t have that warm friendly charm or the smile that could clear away all the worries in the world the second she looked at you.

I cleared my throat realizing that I was unfairly judging this girl before me and inserted my debit card into the chip reader on the counter. Great, is this where I start comparing every girl I come across to Y/N now?

“We will have your coffee down at the end of the counter when it’s ready.”

I gave her a smug smile and a thank you before grabbing my card from the reader and placing it back in my wallet to go stand near the other people who were waiting for their beverages. I definitely stuck out like a sore thumb in here so I did my best to stand unnoticeably far away from everyone.

A few moments later and my coffee was placed up on the counter and I eagerly grabbed it and headed quickly out the door. I took a sip and I could have sworn my right eye watered in response. It was far from the best coffee I’ve ever had but it was caffeine so it would have to do.

I began making my walk back to the venue and sent Y/N another text.

Me: No matcha latte for me, instead, a hot cup of plastic bean water with the cheapest overpriced LA vegan creamer. Oh did I fucking luck out.

Y/N☕️: I’ll make it up to you next time you come into the cafe, all the matcha lattes you could desire served with extra love and I’ll even toss in a warmed up orange scone.😘

Me: You really know how to make a guy blush, darlin.

I tucked my phone back into my pocket and forced the rest of this shit coffee down my throat before heading inside the venue, hoping it would be enough to get me through soundcheck in the next thirty minutes.

READER

I stood in front of the mirror flattening down my dress against my mid thighs. I decided to go with something a little less raunchy than last night given that I was going to be watching from the side stage with ERRA’s other crew and friends tonight. I wanted to try to make a good impression.

I went with a short sleeved plaid blue mini dress and paired it with my light blue cardigan and my black chunky platform Doc Marten boots. Opting to put my hair in a side braid with a little blue bow clip to help keep my side bangs in place.

The show didn’t start until another few hours but since me and Kate showed up late yesterday and with the headache of the late afternoon LA traffic, I wanted to give myself enough time to ensure that I would not be late tonight.

Plus, I really wanted to be able to see the full show and watch Jesse up on stage again. The few moments I did get of their performance was encapsulating and I spent all morning getting ready replaying Jesse strumming his guitar on the riser trying to keep myself upright in the bathroom mirror.

Jesse up on stage was fucking hot and I wanted to watch the full thing from start to finish. It was thrilling to know I’d be watching my man from the side stage. It sent a surge down my entire body and I had to lock my thighs together to keep my pussy from clenching at how badly I wanted Jesse to have his way with me on that stage riser.

Stop. Get a hold of yourself, Y/N. Jesse isn’t your man. That hasn’t been determined yet, do not get ahead of yourself and set yourself up for disappointment. I let out a shaky breath at the thought running through my head. Jesse and I hadn’t made it official that we were dating or that we were even a “thing”.

What would I say if people asked? Is it weird that I would be on the side of the stage watching him play and I wasn’t his girlfriend? No, stop. That doesn’t matter. You’re getting yourself all worked up. Friends watch their friends play side stage all the time. It’s totally normal.

You just wish you had the title of Jesse’s girlfriend, that’s what this comes down to. I grabbed my purse off the back of my door and booked it out of my bedroom to silence out the internal battle that was going on inside my head.

Once I got in my car I plugged my phone in and put in the address to the venue on my GPS. It showed I had about a 65 minute drive which meant that there was thankfully no traffic so I’d be getting there a little bit early. Just like I planned.

Before putting my car in drive I sent Jesse a quick text message.

Me: See you soon, handsome.🎸

Jesse🌺: Can’t wait, beautiful.😘

With the biggest smile spread across my face I pulled out of my apartment parking lot and made my way towards the downtown LA venue.

READER

I pulled into the back venue parking lot, rolling down my window when the parking lot security stopped me, “Hi I’m here for the ERRA concert tonight. I’m on Jesse’s guest list.” Jesse had given me an ERRA crew badge that was attached to a lanyard last night and told me to bring it in case I ran into any issues.

He motioned me forward, “Take a left and when you pass the buses the guest parking lot is on the right hand side.” I thanked him and then pulled forward following the directions he gave me. I slowly passed the line of tour buses and excitement grew in my bones knowing that soon I would be in front of Jesse again.

Finding a spot that was tucked under a tree I pulled in and put my car in park and sent Jesse another text.

Me: Hi, I am here. I just parked in the guest lot out back.😊

Jesse🌺: You’re here early, was someone eager to see me??

I rolled my eyes and let out a giddy laugh at his response.

Me: Just eager to kick your ass from the coffee cheating from earlier this morning.

Jesse🌺: Sounds like a good time.😉

I swallowed hard at his flirty response back. If he kept this energy up it was going to be a long night ahead for me.

I climbed out of the driver's side and gave myself a onceover in the car windows checking to make sure my makeup and hair was in place and to my liking.

When I turned around I saw Jesse climbing down the stairs of the first tour bus that was parked in line. His chocolate brown curls glowing in the sunlight that were peeking out from underneath his gray hat.

He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that hugged his legs in all the right places. It was unfair how this man could make even the most basic outfit look so effortlessly hot. His tattoos danced in the shadows of the branches of the trees above him and I sucked in a breath as he made his way closer to me.

I waved as he approached me, closing the distance to wrap his arms around my waist in an eager hug that was so intense it felt almost desperate. “Hey you.” He lightly spoke into the side of my neck.

I bit my lip to hold back the moan that almost escaped from my mouth. His hot breath against my neck sent goosebumps down my spine and I almost melted in his embrace, “Hey yourself.” Using all my effort to speak out the words.

Jesse pulled back and looked me over from head to toe, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

Heat crashed into my cheeks and I couldn’t fight back the huge grin that spread across my face. Was it that shitty coffee he had this morning that was egging on all this rizz? If so, I’d have to make a mental note to start making the latte’s I serve Jesse more half assed from now on.

I looked him over from top to bottom for the hundredth time since I saw him climb out of the bus, unable to stop myself from licking my lips, “I could say the same about you, Jesse.”

Jesse’s eyes focused a little harder on me now, almost like he was studying me to see how far he could go. We were staring right into each other's souls and the sexual tension was so thick it'd probably take a chainsaw to cut through it.

“YO Jesse!! We are all heading to the green room to get ready for the show. Alex is up there blowing up the fucking bathroom again from those donuts he had this morning, so you might want to bring some spray or something just in case!” JT yelled across the parking lot while climbing off the last step of the bus.

Clint and Conor emerged out from behind him carrying their guitars and Matt followed behind shortly after. As they made their way across the parking lot and closer towards where me and Jesse were standing Matt shot over a look to Jesse, “don’t be fucking late or I’m putting the stage lights on your side to ultra strobe light mode tonight.”

Jesse gave him the middle finger in response and it took everything in me to fight the urge to stick it in my mouth and suck it from top to bottom. He already had me so riled up and he hasn’t even gone on stage yet. Fuck, it was going to be a long night.

“You ready?” Jesse asked while lightly tugging on my hand.

I interlocked my fingers with his and began to follow alongside him towards the venue, “Should I be scared of the smell when we get up there?”

Jesse let out a fit of laughter, “Oh of Alex blowing up the bathroom?”

“I’m being serious Jesse, if it’s really bad up there I won’t be able to make it.”

“Well you can tuck your nose into my shirt if you want, or we can go hang out downstairs until the stank lets up.”

The thought of having my nose tucked inside Jesse’s shirt, against his skin, breathing him in set my mind ablaze and I was never as eager to go sit inside a shit scented room before in my entire life.

JESSE

The first opening band was currently performing while Y/N, the guys, and me were all hanging out upstairs in the green room.

Y/N was sitting on the couch next to me on my right hand side while Clint sat to my left strumming a few strings on his guitar. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances over at Y/N’s legs. She had been sitting cross legged and her dress was inching up just enough stopping right at her ass cheek.

I wanted so desperately to drag my tongue up the entirety of her leg, leaving gentle kisses in its trail. Y/N had the sexiest legs I have ever seen on a woman. Petite and toned and her ass was unfairly perfect. It drove me fucking crazy and I had been fighting all day at the temptation to spank it.

Conor had just come out of the green room bathroom from changing into his stage outfit and I was the last person to have to throw on my stage get up.

Uneager to rip my gaze away from Y/N, I pushed off of the couch and stood up letting out a deep sigh, while also checking to make sure the boner I was fighting to hide the last hour was still hidden, “I’m going to go get changed really quick.” I motioned over towards the bathroom.

“Don’t fall in.” Y/N responded back and when I turned around to roll my eyes at her comment I’m pretty sure I caught her staring straight at my ass. So we both had been stealing glances.

I grabbed my clothes off of the table and then shut myself inside the bathroom. Thankfully it had been enough time since Alex’s bombing on the toilet and the scent was finally cleared from the room.

I pulled off my jeans and slipped on my black stage pants. I decided to go with a black turtleneck tonight, but not before I played around with Y/N a little bit. Seeing her checking out my ass made me giddy and from the way we were both staring at each other outside in the parking lot I wanted to have a little fun with her.

I kept my pants unbuttoned and slipped the turtleneck over my head making sure not to pull it all the way down so that my entire core was out for display. I opened the bathroom door and Y/N immediately turned to face me. Her cheeks turning hot pink.

“Hey uh, could I get a little help with the collar on my shirt?” I was now looking Y/N straight into her eyes.

I knew none of the guys would be the first to volunteer. If they had it their way they would have sent me out on stage just like this.

Y/N cleared her throat, “Oh uh, me?” She asked while pointing back at herself. As if asking for permission.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” I replied back.

She let out a shaky breath and pushed herself off of the couch. If she was making an effort not to stare it was a shit one. This girl had her eyes glued all over me and I could practically see the drool pooling out of her mouth. This was going to be fun.

I strided back into the bathroom and motioned for her to follow me. When she was fully inside I reached around her to close the bathroom door. The tension from earlier growing even stronger.

Although there was plenty of noise going on outside of this bathroom the only thing that was making a sound was the heavy breathing between the both of us. I inched up closer to her, “would it be easier if I put my shirt all the way on?”

She brought her gaze up from my stomach and I watched as her eyes traced along my tattoos, “Yeah, it might help with the distraction.”

“Oh, is this a distraction for you? The view?”

She bit her bottom lip and I wished that it was my teeth that were tugging on it, “Jesse” she blew out, “remember how I told you earlier that I could say the same about you when you had called me beautiful?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well,” she paused, “That view pales in comparison to this one.”

I inched up even closer to her now, pulling the rest of my shirt down before I hooked my right arm around her waist to bring her into me, “There, distraction free now.”

She swallowed hard and brought her hands up to begin fixing the collar of my shirt, “was this all just an excuse to get me into the bathroom alone with you?” She asked.

“What would you do if I said yes?”

Something dark flashed in her eyes and our lips were just barely inches apart now. “I would tell you that you should really stop teasing me like this, otherwise I don’t know how much longer I can control myself.”

My cock strained against my pants at her response. Fuck, the way she said that with such a damanding tone was so hot. I couldn’t help myself, I slid my hands up under her thighs and I pulled her up to wrap her legs around me.

I walked her back against the wall with a gentle force, my hands cupping her ass as her fingers dug into the back of my neck, “and what would you say if I told you I didn’t want you to keep controlling yourself?” I breathed against her lips.

“Jesse,” she warned. But I wasn’t done with her yet. I had missed time to make up for and I didn’t care if my friends were out in the green room knowing that the both of us were locked inside of this bathroom together. I was done not making my feelings known.

I leaned in and sucked her bottom lip gently between my teeth while pulling back. She let out a soft moan and my dick twitched in my pants up against her core and I knew she could feel it because when it happened she glanced down at the bulge nearly ripping through my zipper.

She ran her fingers up through my hair and grasped at the ends to pull my head back, leaning forward to lick down my neck and pepper kisses along my bottom jaw. “Fuck Jesse, I want you.”

Fuck, did I want her too. So fucking bad.

I leaned forward and began nipping at the skin on her collarbone hard enough to pinch. I made my way further down her chest dragging my tongue down between her cleavage, “if only you knew how bad I’ve wanted you.”

“Then take me Jesse.” She said while grinding her pussy up against my core. I slid my fingers further up her thigh underneath her dress. Looking back up at her to make sure that she was okay with where this was all going.

“Please.” She demanded in a desperate whimper. So I traced my fingers even further up sliding them underneath her panties to brush my fingertips along her folds. Holy fuck, she was soaked.

My cock was practically cursing at me in every language known to man. It was so desperate and angry for release. But this wasn’t about me right now. I brought Y/N into this bathroom to toy with her and I wanted to make sure she knew this was all about her.

“You’re fucking drenched, is this all for me?” I asked breathing along her jawline. Fingers sliding further against her folds as they made their way up to her clit to begin rubbing in slow steady circles.

“Mm, that feels so fucking good.” Her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

“Do you like that? You like how my fingers feel up against you?”

She let out another small moan, “God yes Jesse, please don’t stop.” I had no desire to. I was so lost in lust with her at this moment that before long I knew I’d probably have her bent over this bathroom counter.

A loud bang came from the opposite side of the door and Matt’s voice came barreling through the room, “Hey Jesse, whenever you’re done with your little quickie in there we are about to head downstairs and get ready for the show if you’d like to come join us.”

JT’s voice came echoing behind his, “Wait, Jesse is having a quickie in the bathroom? Holy shit! Good for him!”

I pinched the area above my nose and let out a long sigh, “I’m not having a quickie in the bathroom, Jesus Christ.” Well I would have been if they didn’t interrupt…

Y/N slid her legs down off of me and adjusted her dress to fully cover her legs again. Our fun time was unfortunately coming to an end but I’d made sure to pick back up where we left off later.

“We should really stop undressing ourselves with our eyes in this bathroom and get downstairs before Matt kicks both of our asses.” She said while quickly fixing her hair in the mirror.

I adjusted my collar and my dick in my pants in an attempt to make my boner less obvious, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I do sort of have a show starting in 10 minutes.”

She went to reach for the door handle and just as she had the door about halfway pulled open I leaned down to whisper against her ear, “I’ll be thinking about what just happened back there the entire show.”

I heard her lightly clear her throat and I didn’t even have to be facing her to know that her cheeks were probably flushed hot pink again.

Matt stood in front of the green room door with his arms crossed and Y/N quickly scurried past him, making sure to avoid eye contact.

As I came up next to him he let out a long disappointing sigh while shaking his head, “you just couldn’t wait until after the show?”

“If I waited until after the show then I wouldn’t have enough time for you big boy.” I nudged him with my elbow before making my way past him and down the stairs behind Y/N.

“I didn’t get you in trouble, did I?” She turned around to ask me.

“Nah, Matt will be fine. I'll make sure to give him extra cuddles tonight to make up for it.”

“If I roll over and find you next to me in my bunk, I’m kicking your ass!” Matt exclaimed from above us while shutting the green room door behind him.

“He doesn’t mean that, he’s just hangry.”

Y/N let out a fit of laughter and I guided her through the venue back behind the stage while me and the guys got ready before heading out for our performance.

READER

God did ERRA know how to put on a show. Ever since the first song I haven’t been able to stop myself from bobbing my head and swaying along to the music. I knew they were incredible from the few moments I had watched them from the sound deck last night, but seeing them this close and from such a personal spot made it that much more special.

The guys all had so much energy and it was so thrilling to watch them come alive and have so much fun up there. JT’s screams sounded absolutely incredible and I could go on for years about how melodic and euphoric Jesse sounded over the mic. He truly had the most beautiful singing voice I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing.

The glows from the stage lights made the guys look even more intoxicating and seeing the energy from the crowd with so many people singing along and headbanging was such an addicting feeling. I could only imagine how it felt to be the ones performing in front of a crowd filled with so many special people.

As I sang along to the few words I knew, I kept my gaze flowing all over the room while thinking about how fucking lucky I was to be standing where I currently am. This was all possible because of Jesse and being here tonight made me want to stand sideshow watching him do what he loves for the rest of my life.

There was a slight break in between songs and JT came over the mic to hype up the crowd, “Alright LA, this next one is called Scorpion Hymm and I’m going to need everyone to get off their asses and get the fuck up here!”

The song picked up and Jesse stepped up onto the riser, his chocolate brown curls swaying around him as he headbanged and arched himself back, positioning his guitar up in the air, and pointing it towards the crowd.

His stage presence was truly so addicting to watch and if I hadn’t already spent the day worked up and fighting the urge to rip his clothes off and have my way with him, this sight alone would definitely do it for me every single time.

Jesse jumped off the riser coming down and doing several spins, right before coming back up to the mic to sing his part. How he had all the energy to move like that was beyond me. There was no way in hell I’d be able to do even the bare minimum of what he was doing.

Crowd surfers began making their way up to the front of the stage like waves crashing against the shore. JT would bend down and high five them on their way back into the crowd and there was even a guy dressed up in a banana suit who was break dancing in the pit. I had never had this much fun at a show in my entire life.

Something in my peripherals caught my eye and took my gaze away from the crowd. Jesse was now kneeling down onto the floor on both knees, guitar settled in between his legs, as he rocked his hips up and down, making direct eye contact with me.

God I had never wanted to be a guitar so badly before in my life. Was he doing this on purpose to taunt me some more?

As he came back up he did a few more cyclone spins and the song had ended. Before going into the next song Jesse stepped forward into the mic, “This next one is a very special one to me. It’s one of my favorite ERRA songs and I’m really proud of it. This one goes out to all my friends and family tonight and to someone very special standing to my right.” He turned to wink at me before turning back to face the crowd.

“You heard my boy, give us everything you got and if you know the words sing them with us as loud as you can!” JT screamed into the mic.

The familiar strumming began playing through the room and I was taken back to the first time I had heard it in Jesse’s bedroom. I remember how intoxicated I was watching his fingers strumming against the chords in such a delicate way.

“Your star burns and dies out a thousand times over but still remains a source of light to guide you home.”

I remember hearing the first time Jesse sang this song to me and the way his voice crashed through my soul leaving permanent indentations into my heart that I’d never be able to erase. Hearing it now echoing through this room was a feeling unlike any I’ve ever felt before.

I watched him with so much adoration and I have never felt more full and more proud in my entire life. I wish I could stand here in this moment watching him forever.

“In flight or in freefall, glide along the evergreen. Motes of dust resembling constellations.”

I shut my eyes and began singing along with him. Holding a hand over my chest as I swayed along and kept thinking back to the night I first heard it while sitting on Jesse’s bed, before I made the biggest mistake of my life and walked out like a coward.

I would spend eternity regretting it, but no words could ever amount to how grateful I was that me and Jesse were okay again, that I was standing here knowing I’d be the first person he would come up to greet after walking off this stage.

The song picked up and Jesse would continue to glance over and smile at me as I sang along to the words, giving me playful little winks every so often. If this room wasn’t filled with strangers and Jesse’s closest friends I would have run out and tackled him down onto the floor to cover his entire body in kisses to mark what was mine. But, that would have to wait for another time.

The song slowly started fading out and Jesse came back over the mic, “Thank you so much for coming out! We love you, get home safe!”

The crowd of people slowly started dissipating and the guys began making their way back towards the side of the stage. My heart began to rapidly race knowing that I would soon have Jesse within my reach again.

Jesse pulled his guitar off over his head and carried it at his side, locking eyes with me the entire time he made his way back over to me. God the way he carried that thing almost had me foaming at the mouth, why was Jesse with a guitar in his hands so fucking hot?

“Hey you.” He said while wrapping his arm around my waist and leaving a kiss to the side of my cheek. “Hey yourself.” I answered back.

“I saw you over here, singing along to the words. I also caught you a few times with your eyes closed, it was the greatest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

He placed his guitar into one of the equipment cases and I came up to stand directly in front of him so I could wrap both my arms around his neck, “you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Even when I’m all gross and sweaty?” He asked.

“Even better, the sweat adds more flavor.” I gave him a wink just before leaning in to place a kiss on his lips and then trailed my tongue lightly against his bottom lip, “yummy”.

Jesse gave me a look like he was seconds away from devouring me and it sent a shock through my entire body. “I have to help clean some shit up and then I’m going to hop into the greenroom shower to clean off all this stink. The bus should be unlocked, head out there and wait for me.”

I jutted my lip out in a pouting motion, “But I just got you back, you’re already sending me outside with the wolves?”

He grabbed my chin with his thumb and his pointer finger to motion my face up so I could meet him eye to eye, “I will only be a few minutes. Plus, I will make it worth the wait I promise.”

Jesse planted another firm kiss to my lips and I reveled in the taste. I didn’t care how sweaty he was, I wanted every single inch of him pressed up against me. I was needy and I was desperate and I had spent all day letting this man play with me. I needed him and I needed him now.

He pulled away from me and gave my ass a light smack, “I promise it will be so quick you won’t even have time to miss me.”

“I doubt that.” I replied back in a bratty tone while leaning down to grab my purse up off the floor. “You better make it lightning speed cyclone Cash, it’s cold out there.”

He started motioning back up towards the green room and before disappearing behind the stage he quickly turned back around towards me, “just five minutes and I’ll be there to warm you up!”

READER

I made my way to the back of the venue and out into the parking lot. The temperature had dropped immensely from this afternoon. The chill of the LA wind whipping through the strands of my hair.

I wrapped my arms around me in a hug and began rubbing my hands up and down my arms to help shield me from the cold on my walk to the bus.

I ascended up the small steps, my platform boots colliding against the metal, and when I went to tug on the handle, the bus door was locked. “Shit.” I muttered to myself.

I turned around to scan the parking lot hoping that someone hadn’t seen me and thought that I was trying to break into the tour bus.

I let out a deep sigh watching the condensation move like smoke through the air and walked down to the last step so I could sit and wait for Jesse, “he better be a man of his word and hurry his ass up, it's freezing out here.”

I pulled out my phone from my cardigan pocket and began scrolling through my social media to help pass the time, and to try to think of the consequence I was going to make Jesse pay for having me sit out in the cold.

Especially after all those flirty glances and winks he kept shooting at me during the entire ERRA show. He had been toying with me all day and I was still all riled up from our earlier activities in the green room bathroom.

I had just finished hearting a video of a dog in watermelon floaties swimming in a pool when movement from the left corner of my eye caught my attention, “what are you doing all alone outside?”

Jesse was now hovering above me, curls still wet from his shower in the greenroom, and I licked my lips at how the droplets of water fell and slid down his neck. My voice caught in my throat, “Oh uh, well you see the door is locked.” I frowned.

“Fuck you’re joking,” Jesse ran a hand through his curls, “JT must have locked it when we were all heading into the venue earlier, which means he still has the keys.”

I shifted on the step, “Sooo does that mean you failed on your promise to keep me warm since we are both now stranded together outside?”

Jesse looked down at me and licked his bottom lip, “No, I’ll just have to improvise is all.”

I looked at him confused, “improvise?”

“Yeah, now stand up.”

“Someone is bossy, can you at least say please?” I teased.

Jesse wrapped his fingers around my wrist and started leading us over behind the bus, “Gee, I sure hope there is a heater or a bonfire back here.”

He snickered and then pulled me into his chest, our lips ever so lightly brushing against each other, “you won’t need a heater or a bonfire when I’m finished with you.”

I sucked in a breath and Jesse crashed his lips into mine. It was firm, hard, and hungry. I knew my lips would probably be bruised in the morning. I wanted to repay him back for earlier so I dug my teeth into his bottom lip and leaned my head back to pull it, not caring to be gentle.

I’ve been restricting myself all day and now that Jesse was here in front of me, I was going to devour him completely and let him devour me too, if that’s what he wanted.

He dragged his hand behind my neck, digging his fingers into my skin to leave half moon indentions. “I know you’re cold but I can’t wait for that door to get unlocked. I need you, right here, and right now.”

Whatever you fucking say.

Jesse met my lips again in another feverish kiss and I opened my mouth to grant him access. Both of our tongues collided together as we took in the taste of each other. Before I knew it Jesse had me backed up against the backside of the tour bus, the coldness from the metal cascading down into my bones.

But, I didn’t fucking care. I would stand out in a blizzard bare naked if it meant I could be completely engulfed in this man. Jesse began leaving gentle kisses down my chin, onto my neck, further down my chest, and onto my stomach over the material of my dress.

I let my head roll back to rest against the bus and shut my eyes out of pure bliss. I felt him going further and further down my body and with a firm grasp to the back of my calf, Jesse lifted my leg up to rest against his shoulder.

I placed my hand up against the bus and rested my butt against it to help keep me upright, the wind was definitely blowing up underneath my dress but given the position I was in, I didn’t have the means to care.

Jesse began dragging his tongue from my knee up to my thigh, pushing my dress up to grant him further access before coming to a stop right at my panties. He placed another kiss, right over the thin white lace material, “can I taste you?”

I ran my hands through his hair and tightly gripped on the ends, “I’d love nothing more” I let out with a whisper.

Wasting no time Jesse pulled my panties to the side and had his head completely under my dress. I was thankful that there were no street lights back here and that there was an abundance of trees in this area. I knew the headliner had to be finished with their set soon and the bands would start making their way back to their buses.

Pushing the nervous thoughts to the back of my head I shut my eyes to focus on what was happening in between my legs. Jesse made sure to take his time with me and I expected nothing less.

He glided his tongue slowly up and down my folds and I let out a soft moan from the way his hot breath fanned against me. I couldn’t help but slowly grind my hips against his mouth, wanting so desperately to have something inside of me.

“Fuck, Y/N. I had tried to imagine what you would taste like from the moment I had you up against that wall in the bathroom earlier… but I never expected you to taste so sweet.” His tongue traced up to my clit and he began twirling his tongue in slow circles over the sensitive nub. “You taste just like strawberries, I could eat you forever.”

Jesse hiked my leg up a little higher and I could feel myself getting close. I hadn’t been sexual with anyone since Jake and after we broke up I only ever used toys or my fingers on myself. None of them compared to the way Jesse’s mouth felt pressed up against me.

“Jesse,” I moaned out, "I’m getting close."

He dragged his tongue down from my clit and inserted it inside me, fucking me with his tongue while I grinded against his face, “cum for me darlin, I know you can do it.” His pace began picking up and the leg I had been standing on to keep myself upright began to shake.

Heat built up in my core and my vision started to go fuzzy. Jesse removed his tongue to insert two fingers inside of me, bending them in a way to hit my sweet spot perfectly. It’s like this man had spent all night before studying my body and knew all the right spots to hit to ace the test.

He placed his lips back against my clit and began sucking while picking up pace with the two fingers that were still deep inside of me, fucking them into me ruthlessly. I let out another moan as the pressure built up inside of me.

My eyes were tightly shut and I couldn’t put up the fight any longer. My orgasm crashed through me like a tsunami as Jesse licked me through the comedown, lapping up all of essence. “Mmm, good girl, I knew you had it in you.”

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, I had never felt an orgasm like that in my entire fucking life. Jesse made his way out from under my dress and placed my leg back down on the concrete, coming up to greet me face to face again as he licked me off of his fingers.

“I could spend the rest of my life in between your legs.” He said with a grin so big plastered across his face that spoke of how proud he was of the work he just did.

“Then prove it.” I taunted back while closing the space between us. “Fuck me right here, right now, up against this bus, Jesse.”

Hunger filled his pupils, “you’re a fucking freak. I love it.” He spoke into the crook of my neck, leaving a hard bite while hooking his hands under my thighs to pull me up and wrap me around his waist. He walked us back against the bus and the familiar cold returned to spine.

“Be a good girl and help unzip my pants for me, my hands are kind of filled with your ass.”

I giggled against his chest and when I glanced down I could see his cock bulging hard up against his pants. “Someone is excited to see me.”

“You have no fucking idea, Y/N.” I slid my hands down his shirt and bit my bottom lip while my fingers excitedly fought against the denim of his pants. Reaching my hand into his briefs to grasp at his warm hard cock.

“Fuck,” he shivered, “your fingers are cold.”

“You’re stalling Jesse, are you going to fuck me or not?”

He let out a hungry grunt, “with fucking pleasure.”

I brought my hand up to my mouth to spit into it, moving it back down to stroke the saliva over Jesse’s cock. He pushed his forehead up against mine locking eyes with me, “I want you to look me in the eyes while you guide my cock inside of you.”

His fingers trailed back up my thigh to pull my panties to the side and I kept my eyes locked with his as I guided his cock in between my folds and right at the front of my entrance. Jesse placed his thumb and his pointer finger right on top of mine, and slid his cock up and and down my folds to coat his cock in my arousal.

“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” He questioned.

"I’m more than alright with all of this, I promise.”

“Before we continue, I just wanted to ask if you are on any sort of protection. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable and that we do this safely. I also wanted you to know that I’m clean. I got tested shortly after me and my ex separated a few years ago, and I haven’t been with anyone since."

I lifted my hand up to cup his cheek, “You’re extremely sweet to even think to ask, especially at a time like this,” I giggled. “I am on the pill and I am also clean, same situation, my ex cheated on me and I got tested right after we broke up. I haven’t been with anyone since him.”

Jesse paused, the look on his face showed nothing but pure adoration and it made my heart flutter, “fuck that guy, he’s an actual moron to fuck up any situation with you. I’m sorry that happened to you Y/N.”

“I would really rather not fuck him, it was quite boring actually.” Which was true, sex with Jake was miserable ever since the first time we were intimate.

“Just know I would never do anything like that to you, ever. I promise.”

Jesse hoisted me back up to reposition us, “Tonight is about you, I don’t want you to think or worry about anything but just us.”

He kicked my feet a little further apart with the front of his boot so he could better position himself between my legs. His thumb and his finger were back on the head of his cock, “Now where were we?”

I shifted my hips up into him and Jesse’s cock was back at my entrance. He sank himself slowly inside of me, stealing all the air from my lungs as he filled me up. “You’re soaked, Y/N.” I dug my nails into his shoulder and brought my mouth up to his neck to begin trailing my tongue up to his ear to nibble on his bottom lobe.

“Fuck darlin, you feel so good.” Jesse grunted while thrusting into me, it was slow paced at first as if he was taking all of me in inch by inch. “I want to take my time with you, but I know that the guys will be back soon.”

I continued to suck and pull on Jesse’s ear and I watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Although it had only been a few moments of feeling Jesse inside of me, it was the best sex of my entire life.

Jesse’s pace picked up and the grip he had on my ass was firm, I reveled in the slight pain from how hard his fingertips were digging into my skin. This was the first time I’ve ever had sex in public and although I was terrified of someone seeing us, the rush was so thrilling. A high I’d never reached before.

I locked my legs over one another and tightened them around Jesse’s lower back to bring him in closer to me. I needed every single inch of him inside of me. I slipped my hands under his shirt and dragged my nails up his back and he let out a hiss in pleasure. Goosebumps covered all of my skin as the breeze started to pick up and although I was just freezing my ass off a few seconds before, none of that mattered now.

Jesse began to pick up pace, pulling his cock all the way out of me to slam it back deep inside my pussy, pushing himself so deep inside of me that my head began to spin. Jesse’s cock was thick and when I held him in my palm earlier I was slightly concerned about how I’d be able to take his size inside of me. My walls stretched around him and although there was slight stinging pain at first, the fullness of him made me thirsty for more.

I brought my lips back over to meet his and I pushed my tongue inside his mouth as we both moaned into each other. I locked my lips around his tongue and began sucking on it, while running my fingers through his hair.

His dick was starting to swell inside of me and his thrusting was becoming so hard the bus was starting to slightly rock, “I’m so close darlin, but I don’t want to stop fucking you yet.” I was also starting to get close, I had been holding my orgasm at bay for as long as I could. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up the fight for long.

“Cum with me Jesse, I’m so close.” I barely managed to whisper against his ear. He slid his hand up my dress, leaving trails of goosebumps as his palm made his way up to cup my right breast.

“God, your tits fit perfectly in my hands like they were made for me.”

Jesse began pinching at my nipple and it was just what I needed to send me over the final edge. The heat in my core erupted through my entire body. My pussy quivered and it clenched against Jesse’s cock as my orgasm bursted through me, causing my legs to shake and go numb.

After a few more ruthless pumps Jesse pulled his cock out of me, his hand cupping around his cock as he firmly pumped his hand up and down in a fast motion. I kneeled down onto my knees, not caring about the small rocks and gravel that were digging into my kneecaps.

I pulled the front of my dress down along with my bra, my tits out on full display. I inched up closer under Jesse while pushing both of my boobs together, “cum on me Jesse, mark me as yours.” I was so drunk on lust from the orgasm that had coursed through me mere seconds ago that the words were trailing off my tongue before I had time to think them over.

“God you’re such a fucking freak. I fucking love it.” Jesse’s stroking was ruthless at this point and I knew he was at his breaking point. I leaned my head back to arch my chest up closer to him. I felt his warm cum shoot down my neck and across my tits as he let out a hard moan.

He bent down to rest his head against mine while trying to catch his breath, “that was fucking incredible. Thank you.” He spoke while shoving his cock back inside of his pants.

“I’m sorry if this was weird.” I motioned towards my breasts, “especially with this being our first time. I’ve just never done anything like this before and I was sort of drunk from my orgasm.” I admitted.

Jesse held out his hand to help pull me up, “do not apologize, it was hot as fuck.” I dusted away the dirt and rocks that were stuck against my skin and Jesse helped pull my dress fully down to cover my ass and thighs.

He stepped back and began pulling his shirt off over his head, “what are you doing?” I asked. With his bare chest now on display he wrapped his shirt around his hand, “come here.” I did as I was told, making my way back over to stand in front of Jesse.

“May I?” He asked while pointing down to my breasts.

“Won’t your shirt get ruined?”

“I’m not having you walk around with my mess all over your chest for the rest of the night. Plus, this is an old shirt anyways and I’d rather this get ruined over your pretty dress.” He began gently wiping off my chest and neck, staring down at me with that same admiration from earlier.

“Such a gentleman to clean me up.” I snickered. “Thank you, Jesse.”

He finished wiping me off and pulled my straps up over my shoulders to cover my breasts back inside my dress. He then slid his hand up against my face to cup my cheek, “you’re so beautiful Y/N. I can’t believe that what just happened, happened.”

I shut my eyes from the warmness of his palm and laid my hand over the top of his, “I also can’t believe that what just happened, happened. However I’m grateful it was with you.”

Jesse leaned down to place a soft kiss to my lips, holding it for a few seconds, “I truly don’t know how I got so lucky to have met someone so special. I know we had that little hiccup but I don’t ever want you not to be a part of my life. I’m so grateful you came to these shows and that you’re here.”

Tears started to build in the corners of my eyes and I fought them back to prevent ruining the moment. I was not about to be that girl who cried after sex, especially on the first time.

“Do you really think taco bell is a good idea after you spent the last two days blowing up the fucking bathroom?” Matt’s voice echoed through the parking lot causing me and Jesse to halt in place.

“Why should we all pay the consequence of not getting after show Baja Blasts and crunch wraps because of this guy's tummy issues?” JT’s voice breaking through the trees.

We heard footsteps ascending up the stairs and the door of the bus clicked open, “Guess we finished just in time, huh?” Jesse winked at me.

I interlocked my fingers with his as he lead me back around the front of the bus. I followed up the stairs behind him and when we stepped through the front of the door all eyes landed directly on us.

JESSE

“Uhh, do I even want to know why you aren’t wearing a shirt?” Conor asked while taking a sip of his water.

“Yeah, what's up with that? It’s like forty degrees outside and your nipples are staring straight at me, it’s fucking weird.” JT retorted back.

I walked Y/N further into the bus to motion for her to sit on the couch, “Y/N spilled some soda down the front of her dress as we were coming out of the venue, so I lent her my shirt so she could wipe it all up.”

I made my way past the guys and over to the bunks and dipped down into the small lower bunk where I kept all my stuff, reaching into my suitcase to pull out my gray long sleeve shirt and tossed it over my head. I saw my dark green Ghost Atlas hoodie sticking out of the side and I grabbed it before making my way back up towards the front of the bus.

“We are all trying to decide on what to order for dinner. Alex and JT want Taco Bell but my vote is for barbeque.” Clint spoke.

I sat down on the couch cushion next to Y/N and handed her the hoodie, “here for you, I know it’s cold.”

“Thank you, Jesse.” She arched her back up to pull the hoodie over her head and I had to quickly look away so I wouldn’t let my sight get stuck on her cleavage, knowing that my cum was just plastered all over her chest moments ago.

The click of a celsius can being opened echoed through the bus and Matt took a long sip, “Oh I could fuuuck up some barbeque, that’s my vote.”

I rested my hand on Y/N’s knee and looked over to meet her gaze, “What’s your vote?”

“Oh uh,” she cleared her throat, “I’m not that hungry so whatever you guys decide on is fine with me.”

God she was so beautiful, even with her rustled hair and the slight bruising that was starting to form under her bottom lip. The way the dim lighting from the bus lights above highlighted her in such a euphoric glow made a lump form in the middle of my throat. I could get lost forever, never looking for a way out, just staring at her.

I traced my thumb back and forth along the side of her knee and her skin felt like soft silk under my touch. Thoughts of my tongue gliding up this same leg earlier started creeping in and I had to adjust against the back cushion to refocus.

“My vote is for barbeque as well, I don’t want to have to deal with Alex passing gas the entire drive back home.” Conor spoke with a laugh.

Alex threw his hands up above his head, “oh fuck you guys.”

“Alright barbeque it is.” Clint held his phone in his hand while using his thumb to scroll against the screen, “I googled some spots around here and it looks like there’s a place a few blocks away. It has good reviews, says it's about an eight minute walk if you guys are cool with that?”

“Sounds good to me I’m starving!” JT said while rubbing his stomach, “let me grab a jacket and then we can head out.”

Everyone rose to start gathering their things and made their way over to the door to climb down out of the bus one by one. Y/N halted next to me tugging on the sleeve of my shirt, “I don’t want to invade your guys' dinner time. I can head back home I’m sure kate is probably back and needs someone to vent to about her day at the cafe -”

“Y/N,” I spoke while bringing my thumb up to rub against the side of her cheek, “you are not invading on anything. I want you to come and no one here has any issue with you tagging along.

She studied my face for a moment and when everyone had finally made their way off the bus I leaned down to place a kiss to her lips, “please don’t make me beg, I will if I have to, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to you just yet.”

She leaned back in to lay another kiss against my lips, “when you put it that way how can I say no?”

The bus door flew open and Matt’s voice came barreling in from outside, “come on love birds we’re starving and it’s fucking freezing out here. My nipples probably look like Jesse’s did earlier.”

“Hey, leave my nipples alone man!”

I looked back down at Y/N, “before we leave let me grab you a pair of sweatpants before we go back out there. I can’t send you back home to Kate with hypothermia, especially since I came close to death the last time I was over there from the popcorn situation.”

I walked back up with pair of gray sweatpants in hand and handed them over to Y/N. She pulled them up over her legs and pulled the hoodie down to hide her dress underneath. Seeing her head to toe in my clothes made my heart thump in my chest. I know we hadn’t established yet what this was between us, but it was like having a piece of me clinging to her, marking what was mine.

I took her hand in mine, “you ready?”

“Yeah, let's get out of here before they break the bus down.” We headed out and were once again greeted with the chill of the LA winds. I wrapped my arm around Y/N’s shoulders to bring her in closer to me to help shield her from the cold.

I felt myself getting needy, that every moment we were together I had to be touching her in some way. My feelings were definitely past the point of no return and I was falling head over heels for this girl.

She rested her head against my chest as we followed along with the guys on the sidewalk, the sounds of the cars driving along the streets providing background noise to the conversations that were taking place around us.

I wanted to hold her against me and in my arms for the rest of our lives. I never wanted to let her go or say goodbye to her again. I looked down at her and traced over her eyebrows and marveled at how the street lights shined against her skin. I felt the words building on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them down. Surely it was much too soon for that and I didn’t want to scare her off. Not when I had just gotten her back.

“Okay google maps says it should be up here on the right hand side.” Clint pointed to a door with a wooden pig sign hung up on the front that said LA’s best voted BBQ three years in a row!

We stepped inside the restaurant and the smell of smoked meats and tangy BBQ sauce filled my nostrils. This place was like a certified BBQ subway, you walked up to the counter and built your own plate choosing whatever meats and sides you wanted.

We followed behind the guys as they all were assembling their plates ahead of us. I motioned for Y/N to go in front of me and when she stepped up to the counter the young blonde haired dude on the other side smiled a little too wide for my liking.

“What can I get started for you?” He asked. How hard he was staring at Y/N was also not to my liking.

We made our way further down the counter as Y/N continued building her plate, pointing at the mac and cheese and pulled chicken, “I’ll throw in a brownie for you for free, they’re my favorite.” He winked at her.

Oh hell no. First with the flirty tone in his voice, then with the non stop staring, and now with the fucking winking? Who did this guy think he was? There was no doubt Y/N was breathtakingly beautiful and I don’t blame the guy for the way he was practically gawking over her. But to do it in front of me?

I brought my hand up to rest against her shoulder, “do I also get a seat on the free brownie train?” I asked with a raise of my brow.

“I can only give so many out during the day but I can ask my manager,” he pointed towards the back, “he might make an exception for your brother, especially given how cute you are.” He shot her another wink.

This guy was pissing me off. Did this douchebag really think that I was her brother? No he had to be fucking with me. Y/N cleared her throat and nervously looked back at me, “Oh uh, he’s not my brother.”

“He's your friend then?”

“You know it’s really fucking weird that you’re so adamant on knowing so much about who a stranger is with. Maybe you should just worry about doing your job, our food is getting cold and we’re really hungry.” I stepped in front of Y/N to pull out my card so I could pay for our meals.

“Gee man, you have a bad night or something?” He mumbled under his breath while handing over our boxes of food.

I snatched them and then placed my hand on Y/N’s lower back, “come on baby let’s go eat.” Then I planted a firm kiss to her lips before we walked over to go sit at the table with the rest of the guys.

#tomato red #jesse cash #erra #ghost atlas #jesse cash fic #jesse cash fanfiction #jesse cash x reader

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kaitsawamura · 7 months ago

Text

"He sighs, deep and heavy and more serious than you’ve ever heard him, resting his hands on your hips and rubbing circles in them with his thumbs. 'Will you let me, now? Now that I know, will you let me support and care for you? Even if it’s just as a friend.'"

you feel love in the sodium | an i will keep going with the support of my friend bakugo playlist

. * -> other links and info

A playlist created for @therealvalkyrie

Their Fic: you can feel love in the sodium

mutuals send me the link to your fave fic you've written and i'll compile a playlist!

#please read the trigger warnings on this fic #but please read this fic #its so soft and good #im sorry it took so long for me to complete this valk!#but im baaaaaack #bakugo x reader #kait makes a playlist #bnha #fic rec

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youkissedareaderinthedark · 1 year ago

Text

Coraline

Synopsis: Y/n’s childhood and history with her parents has always stayed a secret, and she likes it that way. Until a journalist reveals the truth, and everything seems to come crashing down at once.

young female driver reader x 2023 F1 grid

A/N: a few things for this fic: reader will be 20 years old, had driven for alpha tauri since the beginning of 2022, the 2022 is the same as the 2023 grid, and please look at the trigger warning below.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains abusive parents, talks of eating disorders, neglecting a kid, verbally abusing a kid, signs of depression, and a lot of hurtful comments in general. This fic is not meant to idolize or romanticize having abusive parents or depression. If anyone finds anything particularly disturbing with this fic, do not hesitate to let me know and I will fix it.

tagged: @treehouse-mouse

2023 was supposed to be a good season for Alpha Tauri. The cars looked good, your driver pairing was solid, and the hopes were high for your junior Red Bull team. You could only laugh at the naivety of it now.

Most of the season was exceptional; you and Yuki Tsunoda brought in points almost every weekend, your team was seventh in the constructors championship, and overall, you were having a great time traveling around the world.

This was your second year in Formula 1, and now that you weren’t a rookie anymore, you could have more fun now that you knew what you were doing.

Some people just don’t like others being happy, though.

With less than 10 races left, you walked into the paddock for the Monza Grand Prix Thursday afternoon feeling optimistic. This was the second race after the summer break, and Alpha Tauri was expected to do well in Italy.

Your press officer, Ally, greeted you in your garage, and after saying hello to Yuki, you followed her out of the garage and into the media pen for a press conference.

You walk in to see Lewis, Carlos, Lando, and Fernando and talked quietly with them as the press in front of you get settled. “Everybody ready? All right, first question please” One of the directors asks, as a journalists speaks up.

“Lewis, you’ve witnessed the infamous ‘Monza Curse’ multiple times in your career, do you think the theory is true and will it strike again this year?”

“Um, no” Lewis chuckles. “I don’t believe in the curse, but it would be nice to see someone new finish first today, and if a curse is what it’s going to take, then yeah, why not”

The five of you laugh, not noticing the second journalist beginning to speak. “Y/n, what do you have to say about the recent article published regarding your past with your family?”

You instantly stop laughing, hoping you misheard the man.

“Sorry?”

There’s no way

“The article? That was recently published concerning your past with your parents, what do you have to say about it?” The journalist stared at you curiously while your mind blanked for an answer.

You had no idea what article he was talking about, but if it concerned your past with your ‘family’, you knew it wasn’t anything that should be published.

Suddenly there’s movement in the midst of the media pen, and your press officer emerges from the crowd. “Y/n, come with me” She pauses, seeing one of the directors nearing out of the corner of her eye.

“It’s urgent, I need her” You’d take any excuse to get away from the current situation, so after exchanging a look with Lewis, you follow the woman into the paddock towards your garage.

Once you were both in the safety of your drivers room, you turned on her. “What article is he talking about? What’s going on?” You said, voice heavy with concern.

Ally hesitated, looking uncomfortable, before answering. “This morning, an article published a story talking about you and your parents, and the-um, harsh history you have with them” She hands you her phone, said article already open.

“I think it’s better if you read it yourself” The bold letters blink up at you, clear and sullen.

“F1 DRIVERS UNCOVERED: THE REAL REASON WE DON’T SEE Y/N L/N’S PARENTS”

Your heart falls to your stomach and your hands start to shake as your eyes skim over the words of the most invading and overwhelming article you’ve ever read in your life. Whoever wrote this, wrote it in hopes of exposing every secret of your past, and further tangles the truth of an already over-complicated background.

The real reason your parents are never around you is a reason you hate talking about.

You first realized it when you were around ten years old, the way your parents never looked happy around each other, and always tense around other parents. The way they never said ‘I love you’ or kissed each other goodbye. It confused you, as these were the things you always saw your friend’s parents do, but you were too young to understand at the time, so you mainly ignored it.

It wasn’t until one night when you were eleven that you heard an argument erupting from your kitchen, one about money and divorces and you. The shouting continued for ages, until you heard one statement, loud and clear.

“Think about this, she’s getting good in those karting competitions of hers, and according to other parents she could go really far in this thing and get money from sponsorships and mentors. So let’s just give it a little time, make sure she gets better and gets paid, and the money will go to us and eventually she’ll leave to Formula- whatever and we won’t have to worry about her”

You put your pillow over your head, turned around, and went to sleep sobbing that night.

From then on, there was no ‘I love you’s’ or kisses goodbye even to you, and eventually, no happiness in your house. The ‘other parents’ were right, the older you got, the farther you looked to go in racing. Just before you turned 13, the three of you moved to a city in England so you could pursue karting further, and that’s when it all got worse.

You competed in countless competitions, and every race you won, the more criticism you got from your mom and dad. The second you stepped off the 1st place podium, your parents were waiting to comment on your driving and the techniques you should’ve used to win.

They never let you focus on anything but karting, letting you go nowhere but the track and to school, and made sure you were always looking for ways to get better. They ruthlessly compared you to kids in other series that were performing better than you, and countered every compliment someone gave you with a complaint.

All of this seemed like a dream compared to the treatment you got when you lost. Whether it be second, or tenth, every race you didn’t come first in was a loss, and your parents simply didn’t accept this.

When you lost, they’d make you practice on track for twice as long, no matter the weather, and berated you the second you started to complain. They limited your diet after your losses, claiming you needed to be lighter if you wanted the kart to go faster.

Your mother and father gave you this relentless attention with anything regarding racing, but the moment the topic drifted, you were neglected. There were no family dinners or movie nights, if you wanted something, you were going to have to buy it with your own money, and if you wanted to go somewhere, you needed to walk or find a ride because they refused to drive you anywhere if it wasn’t for a race.

There was no other family to go to even when things go impossibly rougher; you had no other relatives in the UK, and you couldn’t exactly ask your friends if you could live with them.

So you endured these conditions, all the way through the F4 British Championship, F3 and F2. You turned 18 while you were in Formula 2, and the second you did, you took the little money you had, and rented an apartment in South England, where you’ve been living ever since.

Your parents constantly contacted you in whatever ways they could, but you very quickly made sure they didn’t know where you lived and were never given paddock passes again. No one knows any of this anyway; when people ask where your parents are or when they’d get to meet them, you just shrug and say, “they couldn’t make it”

You haven’t seen your parents in person since you were 17, and you’ve done everything in your power to keep it like that.

Though with a few thousand words and 4 hours, one nosy journalist has managed to unravel all your work and growth and release it into the world.

You’re broken out of your stunned silence when Ally puts a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve set up a meeting with Alpha Tauri and Red Bull’s PR managers so we could figure out what we should do next to keep the press off your back, okay? The meeting’s in fifteen meetings, so I’ll leave you for a while”

Ally takes her phone back and exits the room to leave you standing still in the middle of it, astonished and speechless.

The meeting goes as well as you expected it to go. You shared as much as the truth as you saw fit, and came up with a statement to post with the rest of the PR managers. You were confirmed to go back to the media pen to finish interviews an hour later, and while no one asked you about the article, you could tell it was the unanswered question they all wanted to raise.

You are able to avoid most of the press of the remaining of the Italian weekend, and stuck to answering race-related questions only, your safest and only option, Ally told you later. You finished the Grand Prix P10, and flew home still sullen.

You spent the two weeks in between Monza and Japan in your apartment, regretfully thinking about all those years you had to spend under your parent’s treatment, and trying to forget them with simulator work.

You arrive in Suzuka, quiet and unsmiling, and try to ignore the shouting of the press that greets you on your way into the paddock. Ally guides you away as two new voices greet you.

“Hey Y/n, how are you?” Lewis asks, pulling you into a side hug and stepping into place beside you.

“Are you okay? You seem off” Charles says concerned, meeting you in a handshake.

“I’m fine, my flight just got in late last night so I’m tired, that’s all” You half smiled in response, hoping it was believable enough.

“Sure?” Lewis presses father. “Yeah, I’m okay” You nod.

“Okay, well, we’re still going into the city after media today?” Lewis asks. “Of course, I’ll meet you guys at my hotel after” You assure as you near the Alpha Tauri garage.

“See you then, and try to sleep a bit, yes?” Charles says before the two men walk off together.

Your friendship with the two drivers started because of the Spanish and British Grand Prix’s, the two races that gave you your two highest race finishes, and ended with two of your closest friends. Spain was a great race for both you and Lewis, yourself in P4, him in P2, and after non-stop talking in the paddock, you flew back to the UK together, effectively starting the friendship existing today.

You’d been friendly with Charles previously, but after his P9 finish in Silverstone and your P5 finish, he realized in a conversation before an interview that you were undeniably good at cheering people up, and you guys have been close since.

You’ve talked with them since Monza, of course, but not about the article. They want to talk to you about it, you can tell, but Charles and Lewis aren’t the type of people to just come right out and ask if you’re feeling okay about your history with your abusive parents being exposed to the world.

They also don’t want to pressure you into talking about something you clearly don’t want to talk about, so if all they can do is help distract you from the media, they’re going to.

Your night out with the Mercedes and Ferrari drivers does distract you; Lewis leads you and Charles to different shops and restaurants all over Suzuka, talking and laughing the entire time. You take a few photos along the way, and you go back to your hotel still smiling.

You kept your good mood until qualifying on Saturday, and are brought back into the reality of racing when you only manage P11. It’s technically not bad of a result for your car, but P9 or P8 would’ve been better right now, because all you can think about is what your parents would’ve said if you finished P11.

They’re paying you millions of dollars to race for them and the best you can do is eleventh?

You think you deserve to be here?

They are hundreds of other drivers that would do so much better than you

You are nothing compared to the other drivers

You’re lucky if you keep you seat next season, I know I wouldn’t let a P11 driver on my team

You go quiet at the thought, and get through post-race media stoic. You leave with your trainer as soon as you can, avoiding Lewis and Charles’s eyes on your way out. You have a week before you have to leave for Qatar, and spend a countless amount of hours on your simulator, hoping this time it’ll make a difference.

You flew into Lusail not knowing what to expect other than hot weather, and unfortunately you were right. You felt the heat as soon as you got in your car for FP1 on Friday and was already dreading the rest of the weekend.

You qualify P11 for both the race and the sprint, and end up in P12 for the two. You felt terrible after Sunday’s race, both physically and mentally, and you’re already berating yourself for your performance by the time you get weighed.

Charles and Lewis are in your post-race press conference group, and you can see them exchange a look after every cold and detached answer you give. You only stop to talk to your friends for a few minutes afterwards before you excuse yourself to go cool down, and leave minutes later with the defense of needing rest.

You fly back to the UK with Lewis, and you’re glad the two of you are asleep for most of the trip so Lewis won’t ask you to talk about why you’ve been so quiet.

The 10 days you have until you fly out to Austin are spent mostly on your phone, looking at all the comments people have been making about you since the article came out, saying how you probably deserved the treatment that you got, and how Alpha Tauri needs a more “stable” driver if they want to advance in the championship.

You don’t do much except exercise and train on the sim in those days, finding neither the desire or energy to do anything else.

Even though everyone is happy to be in Texas that week, you can’t find the energy to truly smile once that weekend. Charles and Lewis are practically stuck to your side, and even though you can tell they’re dying to ask you to talk about it, they only ask a few times if you wanted to tell them something, and when you denied, and simply offered companionship through silence.

It’s another sprint race, and you only pull off P12 and 13 for qualifying and the shootout, and drop a place by the end of both races.

You feel more frustrated with yourself than ever; you don’t understand why you can’t work with the car like you once used to, and you can’t even figure out how to again. You were doing so well until that fucking article came out, and all the sudden you don’t know how to drive.

The worst part about it is that every race, more and more people are realizing how you’ve been under-performing, and how people are starting to question your ability to drive for the junior Red Bull team.

You aren’t stupid, you know how things work at Red Bull, so you know that if you don’t pick your pace up soon, you could end up without a seat for the 2024 season.

This thought alone starts to destroy you, and soon you can’t even deny how burnt out you are. You pick up on the forced habit of not eating much, and making yourself to do nothing but train and look for ways to be better.

You spend the days before Mexico with data analysts and strategists, looking for any and every way to go faster. You dedicate too much time looking at successful F2 drivers, hearing Liam Lawson’s name come up too much for comfort, thinking about how Dennis Hauger had been looking fast in F2.

It’s a terribly unhealthy time killer, one that makes you look sick and go quiet. Charles and Lewis aren’t the only ones exchanging concerned looks now; multiple other drivers on the grid, friends with you or not, notice the change in your behavior and quickly grow worried when they hear Yuki’s description of you.

The drivers aren’t stupid either, they all know about the article that was published in September, and most of them would be lying if they said they hadn’t looked at it in curiosity. They’d also be lying if they saw their eyes didn’t widen in concern or eyebrows didn’t furrow with worry when they read how terrible your parents treated you.

The grid saw how the comments got nastier and nastier under your lessening social media posts every day, and even asked your PR officer multiple times to make sure she was managing your accounts and making sure you didn’t see what people had to say about your background or yourself.

They saw how you got quieter every race, how you stopped hanging out with Yuki and Charles and Lewis, no matter how many times they offered. They saw the rumors of you and your 2024 seat, how apparently Helmut Marko was paying close attention to you and the clauses in your contract.

They asked a lot, if you wanted to talk or if they could help in any way. It was always the same response; a weary smile, a small shake of the head, the words,“No, I’m fine, just tired” and an excuse that you were needed in your garage or media pen.

So they try to help in more discreet ways; when Yuki is asked about your position on Alpha Tauri or your future with Red Bull, he calmly assures that you are working hard with the team, and is doing everything possible to understand the car.

Charles, Lewis, and a few other drivers make a routine of coming to your driver’s room, most of the time just to sit with you as you look at data, or talk with you when you’re feeling up to it.

Mexico goes somehow worse than Texas, and you finish with your lowest result in F1 yet, P15. You try to be as approachable as possible in post-race media, but your sullen face gives you away.

You leave with Ally and your trainer to catch your flight to Brazil mere hours after you passed the checkered flag, and spend most of your time in Sau Paulo alone in your hotel room, replaying every hurtful comment either your mother and father or fans have said about you, and debating whether or not it was true.

You walk into the Brazilian paddock Thursday morning more grateful than you thought possible that this was the third-to-last race of your season.

And according to over twenty media sources, your third-to last race of F1.

After a public statement made by Marko talking about how Red Bull was “considering your future with their junior team” every journalist in the F1 community has decided that it means this was your last season in F1.

And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Whether you raced in 2024 or not, you just wanted to go home and avoid the press for three months.

It was another sprint weekend, and another terrible qualifying and shootout. You placed 15th in both sessions and kept your place in the sprint, and spent a quiet Saturday evening in your hotel.

You could feel almost every journalists eye’s turn to you as soon as you walked into the paddock on Sunday. You arrived early that afternoon to get some extra data-stuff done, only now realizing that it gave the growing group of reporters behind you more time to ask you questions.

“Y/n! Can you tell us about your future in F1?”

“Will you have a seat next year?

“Y/n, what does Helmut Marko think about your decrease in performance?”

“Does your past with your parents have anything to do with your recent race results?”

You try to keep your face emotionless as you make your way into the Alpha Tauri garage and to your drivers room. You prepare for the race with your personal trainer and look over the arranged strategies for Sau Paulo while you wait for the go-ahead to get in your car.

Due to all the crashed-out cars, you ended the race in P12 in front of Oscar Piastri and Daniel Ricciardo. Statistically speaking, it was one of your better 2023 races, but everyone knows if it wasn’t for all the DNF’s, you’d finish in the bottom five.

You know that everyone knows this because just before you walked into the media pen after your race debrief, you saw Christian Horner and Marko speaking to your team principle, and after Yuki’s P9 finish today, it didn’t take you even a second to understand who they were talking about with disappointed faces and multiple shakes of the head.

Sure, this could mean nothing. This could just be a conversation between the three people that control the top team and it’s junior team. But you also like to think you’re a bit smarter than that.

You walked deeper into the crowded area before the three could see you, and walked to the first open journalist you saw, in hopes of leaving early.

“Y/n, hi! Not too bad of a race for you today, I guess?” The man asked, pointing his microphone towards you

“Yeah, not too bad. The car felt pretty okay and there was a bit of pace, but not enough to overtake or anything, clearly” You reply.

“Can we expect more race pace from you in Las and Vegas and Abu Dhabi?”

“I mean, it’s a bit too early to tell, but we’ll hope and see what comes out out of the practices” The man nods before looking down at his notebook.

“And your seat for Alpha Tauri next year, we know you’re apart of the confirmed driver lineup for 2024 but Helmut Marko states that there are attainable clauses in your contract, what do you think about that?”

You’re caught off guard by the question, but right when you’re about to respond, the man continues.

“Surely, Alpha Tauri isn’t really considering keeping you for next season, are they?”

You’re standing in front of the man speechless now, your brain barely comprehending what’s being spoken.

“Because I know the last thing a team wants is an incapable driver that is too emotionally effected by her “traumatic” childhood to race,” the volume of his voice starts to increase, and other drivers are starting to focus on your one-sided conversation.

“I mean, c’mon, no one even believes that even happened to you, and if it did, your parents were probably right for doing it-”

Your hands are shaking, eyes are wide with shock, body suddenly freezing, and you don’t even think you’re breathing. All you can do is listen as this man goes on and on about how you’re a shitty driver and deserved how your parents treated you.

You’re only broken out of your trance when an arm clad in red wraps around your shoulders and pulls you through the paddock. You’re not even aware of the yelling from a certain Mercedes drivers gets quieter and quieter as you’re brought into your driver’s room.

You’re being sat on a couch, and suddenly Charles Leclerc’s face is right in front of you, hands on your shoulders and eyes filled with concerned. “Y/n? Y/n, look at me, please, Y/n-” Your eyes dart to him and in an instant, everything from the past five minutes comes rushing through your head, and you can’t stop the tears that start to fall down your face.

“Oh, Y/n” The Ferrari driver moves to comfort you, but stops as you begin to cover your face and move away.

“No, Y/n, it’s okay, please, let me help you, Y/n” Charles wraps his arms around you in a hug as your body begins to shake with uncontrollable sobs.

“I can’t- I can’t do this anymore, Charles” You say in between breaths.

“I have to quit or something, I can’t keep doing this Charles, I can’t” You let your head fall on his shoulder, as the man tries to calm you down.

Charles’ heart is breaking as he comforts his friend; he remembers loving his first few years in Formula 1, how everything was so new and exciting to him, he could never not want to race, not then and not now. But to hear one of his closest friends breakdown because of how much she hates being there, makes the man’s heart shatter.

The door abruptly opens, and for a moment, all you can hear is the low angry cursing of Lewis Hamilton, until he sees you and Charles, and his face immediately softens.

“Love, I’m so sorry. That guy is a complete jerk, don’t listen to him” The British man says as he takes a seat beside you and wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so stuck in this place where everyone is always talking about what happened and I don’t know how much longer I can go through it” You say, your voice breaking off with another sob.

Charles hushes you once more, exchanging a worried look with Lewis as you pull away from him again. “I’m sorry, I know I should be doing better and everything but I just can’t-” You say, voice shaky through the tears.

“Don’t for one second be sorry that you’re not competitive right now. Y/n, thousands of people are talking about the one thing that hurt you the most, and I understand why you feel this way, just please, love, for your own good, let us help you. I promise it will make you feel better” Lewis assures, grabbing your hand.

So for the first time, you do. For over an hour, you tell Charles and Lewis everything that happened when you were younger, and how the article has made you feel since then. They listen quietly, nodding once in a while to let you know they understand, and gave you a hug when you stopped talking.

“Do you feel better now?” Lewis asks.

“Yeah, not entirely, but better”

“Good, that’s all I wanted to hear,”

“Are you ready to go home now? There’s a plane waiting for us, if you want”

“Definitely. I need to go home” You say as Charles helps pack up all your things and Lewis makes sure there’s a car waiting for you two outside. As you’re all walking through the nearly-empty paddock, Charles turns to you.

“I have to go back to my garage, but please Y/n, if you ever need to talk, call me? I want to help you, I don’t want to see you like this again” The Monegasque brings you into a hug.

“I know, Charles, I will” You promise.

“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas, yes? Feel better!” He calls as he moves backwards and further into the paddock.

“You promise?”

Lewis asks you hours later in the front of the airport in England, just about to get into separate cars.

“Yes, Lewis, I’ll call when I need” You say to the older man in a hug.

“Alright, text me when you’ve made it home and make sure you get some rest. Don’t be too hard on yourself either, you don’t give yourself enough credit for everything you do” You smile at him.

“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas?”

“See you before Vegas!” He shouts from his already-closed car door.

When you do see the two next, they make sure you’ve made an appointment with a therapist and are setting up a meeting with your PR manager to put together a statement in regards to your well-being the past two months.

Charles and Lewis make sure the media inside the paddock is severely monitored and checked before being allowed near the drivers, and help you fall back into healthier habits.

These changes don’t happen overnight, and they don’t take affect overnight, but you do use the winter off season to make sure these changes are helpful and working.

The three month break is utilized to mentally and physically prepare yorself in time for your 2024 seat at Alpha Tauri that was re-confirmed after your P8 finishes in Las Vegas and Abu Dhabi.

The media still knows everything, and you haven’t completely forgotten your childhood, you never will, but dealing with it still gets easier.

#formula 1 #reader insert #driver reader #f1 grid x reader #formula 1 driver imagines #platonic f1 grid #f1 2023 grid x y/n #f1 imagine #female driver reader #comfort fic #angst with a happy ending #angst #please look at trigger warning before you read #lewis hamilton #charles lecrelc #platonic lewis hamilton #platonic charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #lewis hamilton x reader

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vilsoo · 4 months ago

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‎ 𝑽𝑰𝑳𝑺𝑶𝑶 𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺…

‎ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ‎ ‎ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧… 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫!

‎ 𖤐 ORDER YOUR TICKETS HERE 𖤐 ‎ ֺ [ taglist ]

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘; 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘… Inspired by Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights, indulge in sex and horror galore at our premiere Kinktober event, HORRORLAND! Would you dare venture our haunted houses, experience our exhilarating attractions, and uncover the scandalous, deadly mysteries of Horrorland?

fandoms: jujutsu kaisen, spiderman atsv, fnaf, re4, codmw2.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

ㅤ ↓ 𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 (𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓) ↓

FRIDAYS🩸 we welcome our fellow monster fuckers into this territory! deadly creatures preying on their victims, serving their lustful fantasies with wild, animalistic urges! your arousal and fear may provoke them further, so beware of the woods…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟒𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ❞ starring GHOST!LEON KENNEDY (re4)

who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead… and ghosts?

⚠︎ CW: mentions of stalking, slight ooc leon, angst, hurt/comfort, haunted vacation home, voyeurism, paranormal activity, sex with a ghost, gentle → rough smut, mirror sex, switchy!leon, 1980s setting.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟏𝟖𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 ❞ starring WEREWOLF!MIGUEL O’HARA (atsv)

during the bloodmoon on halloween, your werewolf boyfriend feels a rapacious urge to knock you up.

⚠︎ CW: established relationship, miguel in heat, rough sex, soft sex, marking, biting, possession, breeding, knotting, impregnating, degrading/praising, power struggle, multiple orgasms, 1980s setting.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟓𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 ❞ starring RYOMEN SUKUNA (jjk)

a camping trip you planned with your friends turns out to be a total nightmare, all caught on camera…

⚠︎ TW: suspense, horror/thriller themes, gruesome murder, gore, ritual sex, demon sex, satanism, sadism, betrayal, teratophilia, size kink, double penetration, plot twist, ib the blair witch project (1999), 1980s setting.

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SATURDAYS 🍷 the depths of hell fall on this dark and gloomy city bound to corruption and sin, known as the devil’s playground! lurking within the streets beholds the prurient reigns of terror that which may also arouse parkland guests…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟓𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ❞ starring NANAMI KENTO (jjk)

with you and your boyfriend being a regular at this fancy restaurant, the owner became very fond of you…

⚠︎ TW: cannibalism, chef/restaurant owner nanami, poisoning, murder, infidelity/cheating, eventual smut, kitchen sex, unprotected sex, jealousy, dark obsession, slight stalking, gore, mutilation.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 ❞ starring WILLIAM AFTON (fnaf)

as the new intern and your boss developing a dark obsession over you, he feels the need to corrupt you…

⚠︎ TW: dubcon, mind control (glitchtrap virus), sadism, murder, psychological abuse, manipulation, predator/prey dynamic, implied age gap, degradation, eventual rough smut, mentions of vanny mask.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟔𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐄 ❞ starring CHOSO (jjk)

accidentally bringing a girl back from the dead may have been horrifying, but falling in love with her..?

⚠︎ CW: horror/romcom themes, implied necrophilia (NO intercourse), college au, accidental ritual, romance, mentions of murder, suggestive smut, inspired by lisa frankenstein (2024) and corpse bride (2005).

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FOR OUR HALLOWEEN SPECIAL . . . not only are you immersed into the stories of our attractions, you get the real experience of being a parkland guest having a fun time at Horrorland with friends! but as thrilling as it all sounds, there are many scandals and articles of what really goes down…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟑𝟏: ❝ 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋? ❞ HEADLINE: PARKLAND VISITOR CAUGHT HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH A SCARE ACTOR!

flirting has become a common fear response when encountering hot masked scare actors chasing you at halloween events. this scandal covers a parkland visitor fawning over the hot scare actor in the Deathgasm haunted house, König, resulting in them flirting and sneaking off together…

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⚠︎ 𝐁𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬. 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. ⚠︎

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐎 © 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. please do not steal my kinktober prompts/works/themes! reposting any of my works outside tumblr that minors can access is strictly prohibited. will be cross posted on my ao3 soon.

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jujutsukgojo · 3 months ago

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Lack of obedience

Summary: Unfortunately, Zenin completely slipped your mind. He was never on it to begin with. How were you supposed to know that your interaction meant something? Or that he would remember you, someone who he met once several years ago?

an: this is inspired by Stalking Laura (1993) which is a movie based on a true story. So, there are notable similarities that this has with the movie. tw: gun violence, stalking, assault, sexual harassment, criticizing makeup and weight (implied?), misogyny

All it took was one meeting. One look for you to immediately come to the conclusion that Naoya Zenin is repulsive. He’s nothing but an insecure joke. For someone who claims he’s strong, he sure as hell is worried about it. Hiding behind a macho facade that is practically leaking out a fragile and overinflated ego; shoving his ideals about women and not giving a damn about humanity or humility.

It began when your parents went over to the Zenin household when you were about ten or so years old. Even at that young of an age you marveled at the Zenin’s house. Truly, it’s a beauty. Elegant and traditional without it being outdated. As you were admiring the house and walking in the garden, a boy with blond hair with dark ends appeared behind an elephant statue.

You ignored him and walked past him. He didn’t like that at all. Immediately, he yanked you backwards and pushed you against the statue. “Women should walk three steps behind a man.”

You gasped at his sudden action and opinion. Feeling petty, you look around. "Where's a man?" He looked aghast, shocked by your quip. What did he expect? He just pushed you into a statue and believes that women should walk behind him. Did he think you’d take that easily?

His lip curls and eyes fill with rage. His face changed to red. “You bi-”

You quickly cut him off before he can finish. “If you’re talking about yourself, then I’ll remind you that you weren’t even walking.”

Just like that, he stopped. What you thought would be this random boy going off on you ended up with him giving a scowl. You took the opportunity to run away. He called out for you only to find silence.

Throughout the visit, the boy stared at you intently. Following his eyes, his father, Naobito, introduced him as Naoya. Even when his father spotted Naoya's attention on you, Naoya still insisted on studying your every move, making you too nervous to enjoy your meal. Your mother noticed how tense you became, and in a whisper, she asked, "Are you okay?"

Everyone turned to look at you. Despite wanting to out his staring, you shake your head yes. It's not that looking at someone is cause to get him in trouble, it's the way he's doing it. Like he wants to hurt you.

So busy looking at your hands, you don't notice that the adult to your left had switched seats at the boy's request. The adult cooed and awed, complying to his request. It isn't until a plate of cake is put in front of you that you notice the change. "You're going to eat this with me."

His father laughs at it and...cheers? The newly greying man slurs his question, reeking of alcohol. "Growing up to be a man so soon?"

The adults laugh with him, praising how well he's developing into "someone to take charge" and is a shining hope for a family. In the corner of your eye, you see him smirk with a twinkle of pride in his amber eyes.

It all goes over your head but doesn't sit right with you. You look at the plate in front of you. Although you love a good dessert, you don't touch it. The evening continued on without you picking up on his growing curiosity, rage, and infatuation.

Of course, you parents talked about the prospect of the two of you together. Apparently, they noticed him eyeing you from across the table and how "smitten" he was. You simply answered, ‘no’.

That was the last time you talked to or about him or any of the Zenins. As the years went on, your parents worried about your future and marriage. You brushed them off time and time again, much to their irritation. It got to the point where they were even threatening to cut off your college fund for it. Needless to say, you left. No one gets to decide shit for you.

With the help of some friends and a caring teacher that you remained close to, you were able to have a temporary shelter until you could get on your feet. It took months of saving and odd jobs but in the end, you were able to get assistance for college.

It was all liberating. Working hard and thinking for yourself. Being free without being proper or worrying about a stain or two. The blood, sweat, and tears were all worth it. Years later, you graduated at the top, opening hundreds of windows of opportunities.

Unfortunately, Zenin completely slipped your mind. He was never on it to begin with. How were you supposed to know that your interaction meant something? Or that he would remember you, someone who he met once several years ago?

You woke up in a good mood, having dreamt of memories, strangely. You remember how excited and nervous you were when you got hired at your job. Leo, your boss, is a boisterous and kind man who's larger than life. Despite this, he is stern in his rules and direction. It makes you chuckle on how your first day went exactly one year ago. After only a few minutes after meeting you, he decided to 'manifest’ that you'd get a higher position. Now, a higher position is open, and you are one of the people who are thought to be considered for it. Of course, you aren't banking on it. You've only been there for a short time and there are plenty of people who have more experience and do an overall better job than you.

It's nice to be thought of for the job even if you aren't really up for it. Not officially, at least. However, you have worked hard for a better position.

It's only been a year when you got hired and met all of your friends. At work, you clicked with Yuki, a woman with a gorgeous smile and has goddess braids that she herself put in (she made sure you knew that). When you first met her on your first day at work, she took an immediate liking to you. She talked animatedly about her dress for her sister’s wedding. As it turns out, Yuki does not like pink taffeta.

“It’s like she’s trying to make me ugly! Look at this. This is what I’m supposed to wear.” Her slim fingers scroll through her phone for you to see a bubblegum pink taffeta dress with one sleeve on the shoulder and lavender lace on the waist. The dress is form fitting until the bottom fluffs out in magenta tulle.

“Oh my God.” Lord, help her this is ugly. “Exactly! I’m not wearing that, screw it.” You pop a french fry in your mouth. “So, what're you going to do?”

Yuki stops for a second then puts a wicked smirk on her glossy lips. Her mocha skin glows in the sun from the window behind her. Her eyes gleam mischievously. “Wear a wedding dress.”

You nearly choke on your food. “Yuki!”

“She’s doing this on purpose. Look at the other bridesmaids.” She shows you four silk, Grecian like, gowns with subtle and elegant designs. “See? And I get stuck with that.”

You chew on your burger. “Could it be a joke?”

“No. Not unless my mom’s in on it which wouldn’t surprise me. She’s always been like that with us.” Yuki sips on her pop.

“This may be bad advice but go for it. Be the belle of the ball.” She laughs. “Yes, yes, yes! I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Now that you think about it, yesterday was her sister's wedding if you remember right. You wonder if she went through with it.

You stretch and get ready for work, looking forward to the possible talk you'll have with Leo about the promotion. Not only will you be accomplishing a goal, but you'd also get higher pay which would make Em, your roommate, happy.

"Morning, Em." She gives a light wave, clearly not fully awake yet. Confused, you look at the clock. "Shouldn't you be at work? It's seven."

"Hired a morning worker, remember? So, I shouldn't be working at four in the morning everyday thank God."

"Amen." You say and start making coffee. Although she is the owner of an excellent cafe, you usually make the coffee in the morning. It's your way of giving her a break from it even if only for a moment. You start to lightly chuckle as you notice the green jar.

"Don't you even think about it. I'm serious!" Em warns. You shake it a little. "You don't want decaf?"

She puts her hands on her hips. "It's seven in the morning. I need the hard stuff." You put the decaf down and grab the regular. "I wanted the hard stuff, too, remember?"

Em looks at you questioningly. "When I applied for the apartment? You served me decaf."

"Ha! That's the same jar too."

The house was of a decent size and clean. The outside didn’t look like much but the inside was decorated nicely if not a little quirky. In front of the entrance is a rug that looks like the carpet in The Shining. A clock on the wall in the shape of an apple, throw pillows of different designs and some look homemade. The paint on the walls is different in each room. Could she not decide on which color?

“Alright, where are you from?” The woman who is about your age with long hair asks. Her eyes are warm, and she has a few freckles. They’re cute, you note.

“I wasn’t born here, if that’s what you mean. I was raised in Kyoto though.”

She nodded, taking in the information and understanding your wording. You don’t want to talk about that. Lucky for you, she’s easy going and aware. “Okay, I get it. I don’t like thinking of that shit either.”

You look around the kitchen, secretly looking at the corners and the trim, wondering if you’ll see anything. So far, there isn’t a big hitch. “What’s the catch?”

She hums and looks up at you. “It’s a little too good to be true. I mean, sharing a house for this price?”

She scratches her face. “No catch. My old job helped me keep up the place, then I got fired and was able to finally get my cafe together.” She takes a breath. “I make enough now to not rely on my savings so much but not enough to pay for and take care of a house.”

You nod. “I get it. Y’know, getting started late.” You truly understand. After high school, it took you a hot minute to get to college and get hired for jobs.

“Exactly. Everything is overwhelming so I decided to risk my life and take my chance on a potential serial killer. Anything to save a buck.”

“If it helps, I’m not one. I’m quite normal,” You shrug. “Terribly, boringly, normal.”

She pats the counter in an upbeat rhythm. “How unfortunate. Coffee?”

She holds a pot. “Sure. Thank you.” As she finishes pouring you a mug, she looks up at you. “It’s decaf by the way.”

You stop mid sip. “Why would you do that?” You make her laugh to herself.

“By your reaction, I already like you. You’re quiet but a go-getter. Don’t sell yourself short.” You don’t touch your decaf again.

Em scratches her head. "That shit's got to be expired, toss it." She stops scratching and studies you. "What made you so nostalgic this morning?" That's a good question, honestly. "There's something in the air, I guess."

"Well don't bring that shit over here. It's way too early to think about my past, hell. I need something a little stronger than coffee if that's what we're doing." You roll your eyes at her. "No, Em, that's not what's happening."

You pour her a cup and place the cream and sugar before her. "It's possible that I get that promotion, y'know? I'm not fully qualified but it's possible. I'll be making more money..."

"That reminds me, your half of the rent is due."

"Em! I'm serious." She nods. "I understand what you're saying," Em looks at the clock. "Can we table this? We both have to get ready."

As you exit your car and walk into the building, you notice a familiar looking vehicle. For the life of you, you can’t place it. So, you ignore it and continue on. “Good morning, Rue.”

You wave at the receptionist who has the phone against her ear. She gives you a quick wave before exasperatingly answers whatever was asked over the phone.

“Ah, (L/n). This is the new hire, Naoya Zenin.” The name sounded so familiar to you. His hair is distinct, and eyes are very catlike. You can’t pin it, but you know him from somewhere. The little tick in your mind is pushed back. If you can’t recognize him then it doesn’t matter.

The man pats Leo on his back. “Transfer. Nice to meet you.” He shakes your hand with a firm grip. “So, I was about to give him the tour, want to join?”

“Leo, I already know my way around.” Your boss looks at you incredulously. “I distinctly remember you having to ask for directions to the bathroom.”

“Fine.” You scoff, a little embarrassed that he knew that. Leo leads the tour. Naoya asks questions about the departments and officials. Leo answers with ease then adds, “Then again, you aren't in this department."

"You misunderstand, I am not in a department. I am the future CEO." Your eyebrows raise. Leo copies your expression sticks and his hand out. "Oh, well, nice to meet you!"

"Did you not know this, Leo?" You whisper to him. "No, one of the higher ups asked me to. I didn't think anything of it."

The transfer pays no mind to you. You didn’t get the vibe that it was intentional though. You break off and head to your cubicle. From the corner of your eye, he studies you as he and Leo walk away, with Leo explaining the company in his usual light tone.

“I did it!” Yuki runs up to your cubicle. “What?”

She pulls out her phone to show her selfie she did in a stark white wedding dress in a bathroom. The dress was studded and had a mermaid silhouette and a sweetheart neckline. In usual Yuki fashion, her makeup was elegant and had a dramatic lip stain to her full lips.

“I can’t believe you went through with it…” She slides through the photos. She had the gall to take a picture of her throwing peace signs as her sister cries in the background.

“Hey, you told me to!”

“Oh come on. You were planning this before I…well, encouraged it.”

“Uh-huh! See!” You roll your eyes at her flamboyant demeanor. “Anyway, I didn’t stay long or was dramatic about it or anything.”

You side eye her and raise a brow. “Really?”

“I wasn’t! I felt too much like a lady. Look at me with my opera gloves.” She points to one of her pictures in her gown.

“Since you weren’t dramatic, do you think your family will take that into consideration?”

“Nope. My mother sided with her through it all and my dad then walked me out.” Yuki and her father are close. So, to have him escort her out must’ve hurt a little. “He said I looked pretty then he shut my car door.”

“Are you okay?” You whisper, noticing that her gaze went a little far. She blinks multiple times and lightly slaps her cheeks. “Yep! Oh, here’s Junie the other day!”

You respect her wishes to drop the subject and go on to coo at the image of her daughter, who shares her name. Rather than calling her Yuki as well, it was decided to just nickname her Junior.

---------

At lunch, you, Yuki, and a few others decided to go to a small mom and pop pizzeria. It’s small and dingy but by the Lord in heaven, they make excellent pizza. Per usual, you argue about the toppings. No one can make up their mind or compromise. You groan at the thought of ground beef being on your pizza with no cheese.

“Rue, I swear to God-”

“What? I’m lactose intolerant!”

The chair next to yours scrapes, causing you to look up at the transfer, Zenin. “We’re getting separate pizzas. It’s the easiest way, don’t you agree.”

His tone and words rub you the wrong way. Getting separate personal pizzas is an easy route, but how he worded it sounds wrong. Like he’s telling you. Rue raises her brows in a welcomed shock. She elbows Yuki, who is still looking at the menu for her toppings. Your friends might see this as a turn on, but it’s off putting.

Leo joins the group and explains that he and Zenin were at lunch when they were told that you and your friends went to the pizzeria. The waitress looks at you. “Crap…” You look over the menu, having forgotten what you wanted. Unexpectedly, Zenin pipes up once again and orders for you.

“We’ll share. It’s on me.” Zenin tells you. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. Seriously.”

“Hear that? It’s on Zenin!”

“Should’ve got extra toppings…” Rue whines.

Thirty minutes after random conversation, the pizza is out. Zenin puts a slim slice on your plate.

You’re in mid bite when he talks to you. “It's a fitting size for you." What the hell?

"Meaning?" You talk to him lowly, not drawing attention from the rest of the table. He shrugs and answers, "Meaning, it's the right size."

That didn't clear up shit.

-------

Since Em has decided to hire new staff and use some of her extra time with music classes, you hang out at her cafe alone. As you sip on your drink and read a book, someone takes a seat in front of you. You perk up and look up at the person. You end up meeting Zenin's cat like eyes. You are still unhappy and uncomfortable with how he acted at lunch a few days ago.

"What're you reading?"

"A book." You cross your legs. He sighs like he's dealing with a child rather than an adult who just wants to be left alone. "Did you not like the pizza?"

"Barely remember it since it was basically bite sized." He scratches his ear. "I only did that because Rue said you were insecure and watching your portions. I was just trying to support you."

That never occurred to you. It's not like you hate yourself or think low. You're just trying to watch it. "I'd appreciate it more if you didn't do that."

He freezes for a second. "Me doing and saying that must've come out wrong. Let me buy your coffee." You shake your head no, denying his request. "It's fine. I already paid."

“No, no. I’ll get your money back and pay for you. My treat.”

You stare at him blankly. Honestly, you have no idea what the fuck is going on. “I already paid. I don’t want you to.”

“It’s the proper thing to do.” He lightly grabs your arm, rubbing circles on it.

You scoff. “I don’t want you to pay. Think of it as a thank you for covering the pizza.” You get up and leave. There is something deep that’s making you flinch as you walk away from him. This dread and anticipation from a predator.

“Stop, don’t be dramatic.” You whisper to yourself, shaking away the feeling. There’s nothing to be weary of. This is a colleague, for crying out loud! Not some man in a white van.

You don’t tell Em what happened at her cafe since it was nothing to worry about. At least that’s what you tell yourself. Through the night the encounter ran through your mind. For some reason, it’s not leaving.

-------

Nevertheless, you head on and go to work the next day.

You enter your office thirty minutes before your time. You flick on the lights and see Naoya sitting in your chair with a coffee in his hand. He gets up and gives you the warm drink. You notice that it’s warm, not hot.

“What are you doing here?” Figuring that it may not be best to come off as accusatory or aggressive, you ask him with a smooth voice. “Well, with that report coming up, I guessed that you’d show up early,”

He spots something on you, staring intently at it. Naoya isn’t the most imposing man physically. What he lacks there is replaced in his demeanor and behavior. Naoya touches your face.

“Women shouldn’t wear so much makeup. It’s unbecoming.”

“What I do is none of your business, Naoya.” His eyes darken ever so slightly then clear up.

“Just be careful. People might get the wrong impression.” He touches your chin slightly. His eyes move to your lips and wipes them with his thumb. You stop breathing. You want to jerk your head away and fight but God…

“Enjoy the coffee.”

You can’t stop shaking.

-------

At lunch, you tell your friends what happened. “What?”

“Yeah. The coffee was warm, too.” You tap your foot.

Rue smacks her lips. “So what? He thought you liked warm coffee.” She takes another bite of her sub. You rub your temples. “No, I mean he was there for a while. It wasn’t warm like hot but lukewarm. He was there, in my office, in the dark, without my permission. He was waiting for me.”

The two of them stop eating. Speak of the devil and he’ll appear, the man walks in with a group of his colleagues. You couldn’t help but glare and make an annoyed face. Yuki points it out first.

“Honey, if you keep staring at him like that he won’t pay for your coffee anymore.” She says teasingly.

“I say take advantage of it, personally.” You roll your eyes at Rue and turn to Yuki. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

Leo comes up to your table. “What are you three clucking about?” You scoff at the man who seems to never get rid of his smile. “Rude. But to answer your question, (Y/n) over here has some news.”

Rue, you discover cannot hold water to save her life. Suddenly, he gets serious after she spills.

“You can take this up with HR. They can take care of this.” You sigh. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.”

After work, you head home. Nothing’s different or out of place in the routine. The neighbors still wave at you and the dogs still bark. Em isn’t at home, like normal at this time. Everything seems fine.

You get out of the car and lock it. Before you can even take the first step, another car pulls up. It’s sleek and black, clearly expensive and well taken care of. Out of the car is Naoya. You can’t hide the shock from your face.

He followed you home. You didn’t even see him.

He comes stomping towards you with a cup in hand. “I assume you didn’t drink the first, right? Here. Since you’ve acted like a brat all day and need coffee to behave.”

“This is seriously inappropriate! What are you doing here?” You don’t take the coffee from his hand. “If you don’t take it, I’m not leaving, I swear to God.”

You take it hesitantly. It’s iced and is slowly melting. “Since you don’t know how to act, I’ll have to teach you. Lucky for you, I’m a forgiving and patient man.”

He pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Read it. And drink.” He turns around and leaves you and slams his car door.

Dear,

When I provide, let me. It is not an option to deny a protector his darling and for you, my Summer sweet, to reject what I give. This letter is for you to know that the innate primal instinct is forever in your name even though you disrespected me.

Nevertheless, I will be here. Let me show you what a man’s supposed to do a few times. Denying an advance of a beautiful relationship speaks volumes of your pain that I wish to heal. One date at a time, one night at a time. All that is needed is your obedience.

“This letter…baby this is a threat. It’s…what’s the word? Crazy? Obsessive? You have to do something about this.”

“Rue said something about his position that worries me. His superior is his father. He’s got me over a barrel.”

“Yeah, he seems like a spoiled ass. What's this about your obedience? A night at a time? The guy’s a pig.” She tosses it on the counter. “This man can’t be reasoned with. He followed you home, broke into your office, followed you to my cafe-this is serious!”

You know that. You know that this guy is growing scarier. “I can handle it. I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

“Baby, he asked you out in a threatening letter. Love? Being a provider and protector? This is insane. You have to tell your boss. Go to HR, something.”

“Leo knows of how he’s acting. But he’s out of the loop about Zenin following me home,” You walk through the kitchen for a mug. “Besides, HR is going to think we were together! They won’t believe me. Not when he’s sitting in a fancy chair that daddy gave him. I’ll handle this.”

"Why would HR think you're together?" She puts her hands on her hips. "Because it's a romantic poem-"

"There is not a damn thing romantic in this trash. At all." She rubs her face. “What’re going to do? All you did was not drink a coffee and he followed you home and wrote a threatening letter. This is serious!”

You pour a cup of coffee, not even wishing for the one Zenin gave you. “I can do this. Trust me.”

--------

At lunch, you tell your friends what happened. “What?”

“Yeah. The coffee was warm, too.” You tap your foot.

The two of them stop eating. Speak of the devil and he’ll appear, the man walks in with a group of his colleagues. You couldn’t help but glare and make an annoyed face. Yuki points it out first.

“Honey, if you keep staring at him like that he won’t pay for your coffee anymore.” She says teasingly.

“I say take advantage of it, personally.” You roll your eyes at Rue and turn to Yuki. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

Rue, you discover cannot hold water to save her life. Suddenly, he gets serious after she spills.

“You can take this up with HR. They can take care of this.” You sigh. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.”

He followed you home. You didn��t even see him.

He comes stomping towards you with a cup in hand. “I assume you didn’t drink the first, right? Here. Since you’ve acted like a brat all day and need coffee to behave.”

“This is seriously inappropriate! What are you doing here?” You don’t take the coffee from his hand. “If you don’t take it, I’m not leaving, I swear to God.”

You take it hesitantly. It’s iced and is slowly melting. “Since you don’t know how to act, I’ll have to teach you. Lucky for you, I’m a forgiving and patient man.”

He pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Read it. And drink.” He turns around and leaves you and slams his car door.

Dear,

“This letter…baby this is a threat. It’s…what’s the word? Crazy? Obsessive? You have to do something about this.”

“Rue said something about his position that worries me. His superior is his father. He’s got me over a barrel.”

You know that. You know that this guy is growing scarier. “I can handle it. I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

“Baby, he asked you out in a threatening letter. Love? Being a provider and protector? This is insane. You have to tell your boss. Go to HR, something.”

"Why would HR think you're together?" She puts her hands on her hips. "Because it's a romantic poem-"

You pour a cup of coffee, not even wishing for the one Zenin gave you. “I can do this. Trust me.”

--------

At work, you avoid him like the plague. You even go as far as to change your schedule, much to your friends' dismay. Anytime he was conveniently on your floor for some fake ass reason, you leave. This behavior is becoming suspicious to your friends. They know of how he acted towards you but not to the extent that it has gotten.

Hopefully, he’ll stop coming towards you. He’ll stop breaking into your office and leaving coffees. If this continues on, you will go to HR.

You park your car and head inside the shabby little building. The lights flicker outside, fighting the dark. Its bold red print on the sign is fading and the parking lot only has a few cars. It is a writer’s class that you found with an excellent and self published writer for a teacher. All of your peers eagerly wait for her to come in.

“Hey! Did you get something down?” You ask Ren. His thick hair gets in his face before he moves it. His dark eyes trail to find yours and have a sparkle of excitement in them.

“A chapter! Like, a whole chapter. I couldn’t believe it.” You gasp and pat him on the back. “Getting out of your slump! I can’t wait to read it.”

Suddenly, the door opens and reveals a devil. Naoya Zenin waltz’s through in his casual clothing. The teacher introduces him to the class. You are the only one that doesn’t welcome him, earning a curious look from Ren. The teacher goes on and asks for anyone to present. Zenin stands up with his catlike eyes gleaming and a smirk on his face. This can’t be good.

He clears his throat. “My dearest dream weaver, my heart’s sake divine. I’ve wondered about these streets for years, hoping for a moment of clarity from you. Alas, there isn't a thing to make you go away. Did you know this when you saw me, you with a beautiful face?

You, my nightmare who keeps me up, a ghost of a heavenly past. I gave you words of my declaration yet you turn away from me. The turn of your face and hidden eyes aren’t what’s terrible in my mind. It is the question of what’ll happen after.”

The class is silent until the teacher praises his poem. He stares into your soul, a cold wash scaring you. After class, you get up and practically run outside. “Hey, let me drive you home!”

“No!” You shout at Zenin. You need to get out of here. To run into your home and hide. “Don’t be difficult!”

You drop your keys on the pavement right as you try to put them into the slot. Your hands shake. “Shit, fuck!”

“I just want to talk!”

You hear a car and see bright lights. No one drives a fancy car like that except for him.

“Please, please…” You get inside and lock the doors. Wasting no time that God has given you, you drive like a bat out of hell.

“I need to go…” You come to the decision.

--------

You tap your foot, nervous about this meeting.

“What are you talking about? Naoya Zenin is the son of Naobito Zenin. It is said that out of his brothers, he'll be the one to inherit,” HR is an older woman with pristine white hair in a bun. Her lipstick is a bit dry but otherwise impeccable. Her voice is so proper it makes you want to take classes to clean yours up. "This is not some run of the mill employee. What happened?"

“He’s followed me home twice that I know of, to my writer’s class, given me coffee and letters. He even read one in the class.”

“Perhaps you misunderstood the writer’s class letter. It could’ve been his genuine assignment.” She sits in her chair and gestures for you to follow. You sigh as you sit down. “No, it was his first time. He couldn’t have known about any assignments. Ma’am, please. He stares at me while I’m working and hovers through the entire floor until he finds me. I’ve even had to change my schedule to avoid him.”

She brings out a paper, a form for her to fill out. You begin to smile when you see that. “Did you have a prior relationship?”

“No, no. I don’t know him.”

“Spend time outside of work at any point?”

“His first day, I think?” She writes in perfect writing. “But everyone went. Actually, Rue and Yuki were with me at the time. We were already there when he and Leo showed up. He paid for the meal, but that’s it.”

Her eyes don’t look right to you. You smile anyway. Once she moves her eyes from the paper to you, a perfectly trimmed eyebrow raises up. “Do you always smile like that?”

Your face drops at the question and your heart aches when she writes it down.

You cry in the bathroom. Seeing your makeup smudging, you desperately try to save it at the same time.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Yuki comes in. Looking at her concerned face, tears start to shed again, relentlessly trailing down your face. Without hesitation, you spill everything. You don’t have the letters with you at the moment, but you insist on the legitimacy.

“I believe you.” You throw your arms around her neck and hug her. Her vanilla scent has always been fragrant and sweet. Yet never has it been sweeter and more welcomed than now.

“Come on, let’s go out to lunch. How about your friend’s cafe? She makes excellent muffins.” You chuckle and wipe your tears. “How can you think of food at a time like this?”

“Easy,” She looks you over, inspecting your state. “Oh honey, you’re a mess. No way am I going there with you.”

“The hell?” You look into the bathroom mirror and see what she means. Your mascara is running, foundation is suffering and various other things. You laugh as you side eye her.

“Come on, let’s fix you up.”

You bring out the only touch up makeup you have in your purse and do the best you can.

At the cafe, you see Em and wave. She hurries to you and Yuki. “Is everything okay? Is it the creep again?” She rubs your back gently.

“We’re just hungry and here for a ‘pick me up’.” Yuki smiles. Em pats her chest. “I was about to say. That creep is a menace. Do you know?”

“Yeah, she told us that he was in her office. I just now found out about the legit stalking when I found her in the bathroom. I knew he was being weird, but this is crazy.”

Em nods and turns to a barista with bright blue eyeshadow and full lips. “I need muffins, coffee, chamomile tea, cookies-”

“That’s not necessary, Em.” You touch her hand to get her to stop since she is still going. After she’s finished, she sits down and asks you, “So what happened? Why were you crying?”

Yuki nods and thanks the barista who sees your red, puffy eyes and gives you a sympathetic smile. You take a sip of your coffee and then clear your throat. The thought of the meeting that you just had makes your lip wobble.

“Apparently, I smile too much.”

---

The next day you attend work, the elevator door opens to a bouncing Leo. “You’ll never believe the news I have for you.”

You step out and walk alongside him, passing your colleagues and unattended Dahlia plant on a random desk. The receptionist on the floor scrambles to his phone and answers it with a professional, yet tired, tone. It matches Rue’s perfectly.

“What’s the news?”

“You’re up for the promotion.” You halt and gasp. “Me? Are you serious?”

“Dead. Come with me.” You follow him earnestly with questions on your tongue. “Why? There are people who’ve been here a lot longer. Surely, there are people who are better.”

You knew that you were talked about, but for you to be put in front of the line is crazy. He opens the door for you to enter his office. “Enough with the questions. Listen, this is a prime opportunity and you are way better than you give yourself credit for.”

You sit down on one of his chairs. “Leo, I’m serious. There must be a mistake.”

“Nope!” He sits behind his desk. And turns his pencil holder twice.

“Who would take that risk? Yes, I work hard. Yes, I am driven. But I’m not experienced enough. I knew it was possible for me and I’m excited! But for me to be actually getting it?” You bounce your stocking covered leg. “Something’s wrong. What is it?”

Leo turns his pencil holder again. “It’s a promotion with numerous benefits. Higher pay, a better office-”

You interrupt. “Who’s taking that risk, Leo.” Your suspicion is growing. Not just because of the proposition, but the way he turns his clay pencil holder with his daughter’s sunflower painting on it. The way he avoids the answer and has a wide smile on his face that is now looking forced.

“A promotion is a promotion…right?” He sounds so unsure, almost as if he’s asking you for the answer and permission. The answer to this riddle is right there. A name and a face deep in your gut. “Zenin?”

Leo and the whole office knows about him now. It was Yuki’s form of being petty. No one has said anything to him or the higher ups, though. “Yes.”

“Leo! No, no I won’t accept something he has to offer. If I get promoted it will be fair and square.”

“I know it’s not ideal, but the rest agreed on you. Even though he brought you up, it was unanimous.”

You shake your head, now completely disgusted. “Leo, I won’t. I’ll never owe him a damn thing.”

Leo stands up. “I’m with you then, kid.”

------

You go to H.R. again. “Ma’am, look into it again. He’s now getting in the way of my job.”

She scoffs and takes a deep breath. “This promotion-”

“Isn’t right. I take pride in my work, absolutely so. What Zenin is doing isn’t fair to anyone. If I get a promotion, it’ll be on my terms. I won’t win unfairly. I won’t let him bypass all the others that deserve a chance at getting this position.”

She studies you and your conviction. “I will never owe him a thing. Here are his letters,” You slam them down on her desk. The thick wad of paper slaps against it, showing just how bad it has gotten. “And these aren’t even the ones he’s written in my class.”

She licks her lips. “I know this is odd. But men in his position are a bit eccentric anyway as far as I can-”

You interrupt her. “I also wrote down all of the witnesses including those on my floor. He walks through it and stares at me, following me. Tries to make conversation even when I say no. He’ll touch me in harmless ways that have more meaning than they look. He’ll break into my office! Lord only knows what sensitive information he’s touched."

You put your hands on her desk. "Ma’am, I’m unrelenting on this. He’s still following me home. You have to do something.”

She nods subtly. “I can suggest counseling to the higher ups and show how this has become. I cannot guarantee what’ll happen.”

It’s better than nothing. “What if they say he has to go and he doesn’t? He has a high position, also.”

“Yes, he does. But a unanimous decision trumps him anyway. May I keep these?” You say yes and push the letters to her. “And if there are any photos, emails, phone calls, anything, give them to me.”

---

When coming home, you decided not to go to your writer’s class. You haven’t dropped out, though. Breaks are good. They’re exceptional even. Perfect for mental health. This is the lightest you’ve felt in a while. Things were being taken seriously and the ball is rolling. You exit the car and are met with a furious Zenin, who comes from behind your home.

“How dare you. How dare you!” He stomps over to you. His hair is still in place and his suit is still pressed. “I hand you the answer to your prayers and you bite.”

“I’m not taking that promotion, Zenin. I want to get it fairly, without help.”

“Naoya. Call me Naoya.” There's a lilt in his voice. He stands perfectly straight and unbothered. He takes a deep breath. “Perhaps you didn’t understand me to begin with. (Y/n),” His voice is back to a serious tone. Zenin clasps your hands gently and stares into your eyes with sincerity. “Our relationship is simple. You are my woman; all I require is your obedience.”

He caresses your cheek. You can’t breathe.

“No.” Is all you can muster. You run inside to find the door unlocked and Em sitting in the living room. Quickly, you lock it securely. “Is the back door unlocked?”

“What?” She props herself up. “Is it unlocked?!”

“Don’t yell at me!” She drops her magazine on the coffee table. Your breath is ragged, too scared to work properly. Em makes her way to you and is gentle. “Everything’s locked up. Why? What’s wrong?”

“He’s out there. He thinks we’re together. It’s not a crush. He genuinely believes we’re in love.”

Em peeks out the window and sees him in his car, clenching his cellphone. The home phone that Em insists on keeping, rings. She answers it, not bothering to look at the ID. Suddenly, a wicked voice speaks through.

“Put her on the fucking phone now!”

“How the fuck did you get this number?” Em is way calmer than you. Way, way, calmer. “Put her on-”

“No!” She hangs up. The black corded phone rings again and again. “I can’t stay here, Em.”

“I’m going with you. No arguments.”

The two of you quickly found a new apartment with new numbers. Even the cafe’s number changed. The apartment isn’t the best. It’s a cheap one with bad neighbors and a shady landlord. All of it is temporary and honestly, you feel safer here. What you feel bad about is Em’s house. She still owns it and is trying to find new renters or if it comes down to it, buyers.

-----

It has been days, weeks, since you have had to be subjected by Naoya’s presence. Although the first day was refreshing, you can’t help but wonder if this growing anxiety is from his absence or from impending doom.

“Okay, you guys. I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.”

Your friends, Em, Rue, and Yuki sit at a little round table waiting for the loaded nachos appetizer. You head to the bathroom and dodge the plenty of people in the popular bar. The smell of cigarette smoke and cold beer is slight. The dim lights still work and help you find your way.

Finally in the bathroom, you touch up your makeup. Not just for yourself but for a man at a table who has been eyeing you since you came in. Strange thick white hair, sparkling blue eyes, and perfectly sized lips. His long fingers gripped the beer glass, completely wrapped around it. How his round eyes peered over the glass just to look at you made your face incredibly warm.

It has been a while.

You finish swiping your lipstick when a loud bang shocks you. A furious Zenin charges towards you. His eyes are bolder and eyebrows so furrowed that you could swear they’d stay there. He is growing redder by the second and his hands twitch with anticipation.

“What did you do? How could you?”

“I need to go-” You try to brush past him.

“Don’t take another fucking step, I swear to God.” He comes a little closer. “How could you? Lie about me to the office and my colleagues? Force me into counseling to talk to a quack about our relationship? After all I’ve done to show my love, this is how you act. You embarrass me?”

“I never wanted to embarrass you. I just want you to leave me alo-” He smashes the mirror with his bare hands and yet has no scratches. You shriek when the impact occurs, your instincts realizing that you may die here. That he really is a man on the edge.

“Is everything okay?” A woman with dull red hair and bright green eyes enters. She looks at the two of you curiously and gasps at the mirror.

“Get out!” He screams at her. She screams and takes off. “Help me, please!” You yell before the door closes. You pray she heard you in time. To get some kind of help or to at least come back to save you.

“How far do I have to go? For you to remember our love? To accept it and how much of a man I am? Why do I even have to prove it?!”

“You don’t have to prove anything! We are not in love!” He backs away slowly. “Don’t make me lose my temper. Do not push me there. Take the promotion, work with me. I have to keep you on a leash since you won't behave on your own. Your rightful place is by my side, (Y/n). As your fiancé, I demand it.”

“I’ll go to the police, Zenin. I swear I will.” Tears stream down your face. You slowly back away. He opens the door. “If you do, I’ll show you what I’m capable of, God have mercy on you and me.”

When the door closes quietly, you faint, hitting the pink tile.

You walk to HR with the red haired woman’s number and statement in your hand. Along with it is the manager’s, and multiple people who heard your cry and saw you being carried out unconscious by the white haired man.

“Here. You wanted evidence. All of these people are witnesses on how far he will go. He trapped me in the bathroom, threatened me, broke property and-and-” Air is being slowly taken from you as you try to talk. A clenching feeling in your chest threatens to burst.

“This. I’ve had to move, change my number, I can’t go back to my writer’s class without him being there, convincing everyone that the letters are from his love rather than his psychosis.”

Her eyes become wider by the second as she reads everything. “I encourage you to get a personal restraining order. I’ll bring this to the higher ups but I cannot guarantee a company one. He has already been told to stay away from you unless necessary.”

You shake your head as tears fall. “I can’t. He’s threatened-”

“That matter is up to you. I will go by company protocol. This alone will not be enough, (Y/n).”

---

“What are you saying? Do you know who I am?” Zenin bounces his leg slightly, determined to not show that this is getting to him. The bright room with several elders at the rectangular table stare at him. Not a single thing in this is comforting.

“You do understand how serious this is, don’t you? Phone calls, stalking-”

“We’re in a relationship. We have been since we were kids. Our parents arranged our betrothal. I’m merely acting as a man should with his future wife.”

“No, no that’s not how it goes, Naoya.” A woman sits straighter, observing his behavior, catching every little thing. Naoya taps his fingers on the wooden table. “That’s the proper way a married couple acts. This isn’t stalking, this is making sure she stays in line.”

“She isn’t some fiance of yours. She’s an employee. Our employee.” A man with greying hair gestures between the higher ups. Naoya sits straighter. “Am I not a part of that?”

“Depends.” The woman states. He can’t help but glare at the woman. “As a shareholder, a man of the future position of CEO,”

“This will halt that, Naoya. That’s what we’re telling you.”

The world stops. He can only hear the faint buzzing noise. “Are you taking this company, my inheritance, away from me?” He’s burning hot.

“We want you to stay, Naoya. But this behavior has to stop. This is serious.”

Naoya stiffens then with the calmest tone says, “I have weapons like you wouldn’t believe. If I lose my job, my heritance, because of my woman’s dramatization, I’ll end it. Not just me but everyone.”

“Are you saying, if you lost your job, you’ll kill us?” The woman stiffens. “Everyone. I am Naoya Zenin, a man who will not be rejected.” The air is sucked out of the room.

----

“Naoya Zenin has been fired.” HR comes to you personally. “I want you to take a couple of days away. Not just to your home, but elsewhere. Just for a few days.”

“What’s happening?” Leo asks. He stands next to you, curious and cautious.

“It’s been handled. (Y/n), this is not our problem anymore. The ball is in your court.”

You stand up, smoothing your pencil skirt. “Thank you.”

“For your safety, I suggest a restraining order immediately.” She leaves. Leo looks at you with a frown on his face. "What the fuck happened?" You shrug, not wanting to know the answer.

“Mother?” She’s the first thing you see when the door opens with a suitcase in your hand and a forced smile on your face. “What’re doing here, child?”

“I just need to sleep here for a few days. Is that okay?” You didn't want to bring Em, Rue, and Yuki into this. You thought it was best to leave the apartment for a bit, so it didn't disturb anything.

“No. Not after all of this,” She closes the door and steps onto the porch. “Why now? After your independence.”

She crosses her arms and looks at you condescendingly. You want to scream. “A man at my job is stalking me. He just got fired because of it and they suggested I hide.”

“What?” She uncrosses her arms and gently touches your arm. “It was one of my bosses. He’s completely delusional.”

“W-well, who is he?”

“Naoya Zenin? You probably never heard of him. He was a big shot at the company but he assaulted me-”

“Child, who did you say?” You repeat his name that tasted foul on your tongue. “Why would you do this? He was almost-”

“What? You know him?”

“You do too. Then again, it has been a long time. Back then, he was smitten with you and we tried to set the two of you up. Never did I think he’d go this far. Especially when it was denied. Both of you went your separate ways.”

Your mouth falls as you process her information. “Mom…this can’t be. I don’t remember him at all. Did he know of your plans?”

“Yes, he did. His father was joking about it. Nothing was to come of it.”

You drop your suitcase. Is this why? He deluded himself or possibly love you in a psychotic yet childish way? “What do I do now?” You whisper, totally flabbergasted that he remembered you and held onto this. Something that was to never be. “Ha, actually, you’re the one who rejected him-”

“Mom! What do I do?” Her lips go to a thin line, contemplating your problem. She looks up at you with an intense stare. “Get a restraining order. It was a bad idea to do all of this but now you have no choice.”

The way she put it stings but the answer to the problem is a restraining order. It’s exactly what you did. Called a lawyer and got a temporary restraining order until trial.

It goes downhill from there.

The trial is set for this week, which you prayed that the day would come soon. Only for it to be met with gunshots. The first floor is the first to meet him. You hear them clearly while in your office. The window looks great to jump out of right about now. Before you can think anymore, Naoya bursts the door open with a bang. You stand up, terrified of not only the gun but how blank his expression is. Like this isn’t fazing him in the slightest.

There's no air in the room just pressure. Time is frozen as the two of you have a stare off. A buzzing noise comes from the broken lights in the hallway, the metallic scent of blood is too much. There are red splotches on his clothes and on the large gun. He carries more on him, more disgusting violence and stupidity.

“Naoya, no!” You grip the edge of your desk, hurting your finger. Perhaps the pain from it will wake you up from this nightmare.

“As my wife you should’ve known better. A restraining order? Against your husband!”

“I didn’t remember-”

He curses at you and fires a shot. Your body topples back from the impact. He stares at your unconscious figure, then goes to leave. "I know you're not dead yet. You better live because I'm not through with you."

When you awake, the shots are still firing. Screams are still heard, and the nightmare continues. “No, no, God, please…”

Your upper arm was hit, the bullet clean through. The blood is all over your shirt and even on your bottoms. You take your jacket off and press it onto your wound. Shakily, you stand up and slowly walk out. Reo, the receptionist on your floor, is the first you see. Slumped over his desk with a phone in his hand. The red dahlia plant is shattered.

Next, are two colleagues who worked at the other side of the floor, shot in the back. You quickly walk away, doing it as quietly as you can.

With every popping sound you flinch harder and harder. The phone on someone’s desk is untouched with blood or a dead hand. You pick it up and call for the police, somebody, anybody. “My name is-”

A smooth and stern voice interrupts. “This line is for-”

“Please, please save us. I’ve been shot.” You whimper. His tone changes to one of complete sympathy. “We can’t storm in right now. Just sit tight and hide. Where are you? What’s your name?”

You tell him what he wants to know. “He’s on the third floor I think? I can still hear him.”

“Thank you so much. Now, (Y/n), you have to hide. Put pressure on the wound and hide.”

“I’m doing that already. Please get me out of here-” You hear another shot that is closer. You duck behind a barrier, hearing the devil enter. The phone rings and Zenin answers with annoyance in his voice. “Before you say anything, you need to know that this is all because of her. My wife.”

“Who?”

“(Y/n) Zenin. Had she just listened, accepted me as her husband and a man, we wouldn’t be here. It’d never have come to this. This is all her fault.”

You silently cry at the truth. It is true right? Maybe if you just caved and went to him, accepted his love and left everyone out of this, they’d be alive today. “I will blow this building to hell if you don’t back off.”

Not bearing to hear it anymore, you crawl out the best you can. Worried for your friends, for everyone. "She's missing. I think she's walking around or escaped. If you see her, tell her I'm coming for her."

You hit the stairs as quietly as you can. He’s still ranting about you to the policeman. Hopefully the love of his own voice overpowers the sound of your footsteps. You see the sign for the lobby and push the doors open to it. Glass is everywhere in the lobby and blood coats the walls. To your right is Rue, laying on the floor with her eyes open in horror. Her red lipstick matches the blood on her chest. You touch her face with an apology on your tongue.

“Forgive me, forgive me…” You leave her and exit this hell you created. You pray that everyone else escapes it. You pray that time rewinds and you alone are punished with this. For Rue, for everyone.

The ambulance hauls you in. The corner of your eye Yuki stands with an officer, desperately hanging onto him, crying. You’re on the bus before you can apologize.

It takes hours of surgery to fix your arm. You’re ordered to stay for a little while. The small white room smells of bleach and cleaner. You can't close your eyes, or you will see Zenin, standing at the door waiting for you. It changes every time you blink. He'll have a gun and another he'll be completely unarmed and leaning on the door frame, smirking. You can't get rid of his image.

In the room comes Em and surprisingly, Yuki. Right as you see them, you beg for forgiveness and your apologies fill the room. You look Yuki in the eyes and are reminded of Rue’s death. Her bloodied corpse and horrified face will stick with you forever.

“Enough!” Yuki yells. She sports a cut on her eyebrow but otherwise looks alright if you don't count the slight shaking. “It’s over. All done.”

“He’s not out there anymore. He can’t hurt you.” Em says sweetly. She comes to your side and holds your trembling hand. Her warmth tries to bring you a comfort that you reject. “It’s all my fault. All of it. Every single-”

“No! This is on him and him alone. You have the right to say no. You did what you had to. It’s no one’s fault but his.”

“Yuki…” You can’t finish your sentence, choking up. Yuki’s eyes are watering. “We’ll survive this. He won’t win.”

“Ever.” Em affirms. Yuki grabs your hand, too. The guilt will always be there. But his hold will fade away one day at a time, and every time you will spit on his grave.

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tacomedli · 2 months ago

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Tainted Hero - Chapter 1

Sooooo I'm gonna try to start writing this story again, it was started in 2021, posted to ao3 in 2023, aaaaannnnd I never got past the first chapter. But here's to hoping! Anyway this chapter is already on ao3 obviously but I figured I might as well post it here too as something to get me started again.

Sneak peek:

Warriors barely glanced at them as this was happening, but in the split second that he was distracted he heard another cry--this time coming from none other than Legend. The captain watched in horror as vines of a black something crawled up the vet’s body, coming from--coming from his shadow.

“LEDGE!” Wars ran forward, not really having a plan but knowing he had to reach their veteran. The other heroes were shouting behind him, and he heard the thud of boots running in his direction, but he ignored it.

“I’m fine,” Legend bit out, then grabbed one of his legs and yanked. “I just can’t move.”

Warriors wrapped his arms around Legend’s torso and pulled. No luck.

The black grew steadily, now climbing up his waist. This was not good.

Full chapter under the cut!

The monsters were infected, of course. It had been a while since Warriors had seen any that hadn’t been. In fact, the last time had probably been back before he’d met the other Link’s. What had caused all this strengthening black blood, anyways? Probably Dark Link, as he’d appeared in battle a few times to watch them from afar.

The heroes had grouped off into pairs, watching each other’s backs, with Wolfie helping out where he could. Twilight was nowhere to be seen, as he’d been off fetching more firewood when the ambush had happened. Hopefully he hadn’t been caught by monsters himself.

Warrior’s train of thought was interrupted by a particularly heavy slash from the lizalfos he was currently fighting against, and he almost staggered under the weight.

Keeping his balance was difficult on the uneven terrain, reminding him that they still had no idea whose time they were in--if anyone’s at all. Wars gave one final stab through the flesh of the lizalfos, piercing it through the heart. With an agonized squeal and a puff of purple smoke, the enemy was gone forever. The hero took a deep breath and turned around, looking for anyone who needed help.

His eyes widened when he saw the Shadow himself, the despicable Dark Link, sitting lazily in the branches of a nearby tree, his expression somewhere between amused and bored.

“Time!” Warriors shouted, throwing a look over his shoulder at their unofficial leader. “The Shadow is here!”

Eight pairs of ears (though one covered in fur) perked up at that. If only these monsters would give them a break so they could face the real threat!

Time grunted in response, unable to move away from the two stalfos that were currently circling him. Wolfie bounded up to him, snarling and making to bite the ankles of one of them. Time spared the wolf a glance, his grip on the Biggoron Sword tightening. “Wolfie, I got this! Go help Warriors!”

Wolfie gave a sharp bark in return, then turned around to scan the battlefield for royal blue and midnight black.

It wasn’t hard to spot. War’s blade flashed silver in the sunlight; scarf billowing out behind him. Dark Link’s grin was eerily wide as he slipped down from the tree limb, not bothering to equip any sort of weapon.

Wolfie’s eyes narrowed as he sped toward them. If the Shadow was unconcerned with the danger surrounding him, then he must have something up his sleeve yet. Wolfie wished briefly that he was human right now, so he could shout some sort of warning to be cautious in Warriors’ direction.

At that moment, Warriors risked a look behind his shoulder. He’d heard Time’s yell, so it didn’t surprise him when he saw Wolfie coming closer. What did surprise him was the blur of red and green that matched an arrow’s speed, and the fierce battle cry as the Tempered Sword was raised high.

Legend.

Dark Link didn’t move until the last possible second, whipping out a blade that was black as coal to counter golden orange as Legend slammed into him. Warriors didn’t even know where the black sword had come from--but knowing Dark Link, it was probably summoned by dark magic or some other evil spell thingie.

Said Dark Link was unharmed from the attack, but even so, the force with which Legend hit the Shadow’s blade sent them both skidding forward a few feet--or backwards, in the Shadow’s case.

The latter still grinned as he pushed against the interlocking blades with a shove, forcing Legend to jump back. By this time Warriors had reclaimed his wits, and after taking a deep breath, charged the Shadow head on.

Dark Link was light on his feet, however, if the next minute proved anything. He barely even used any sort of magic as he alternated between defense and attack with his opponents, Wolfie included.

Neither side was gaining, though the heroes seemed to be the only ones growing tired. They’d been battling a camp of monsters up until now, after all, while Dark Link had only laughed to himself as he watched from the safety of an oak.

Upward swing, jump back. Spin attack, shield. Dodge, jump back. Swing again--

Warriors could feel the beads of sweat rolling down his temple, and was all too aware of a surprisingly painful pebble in the bottom of his right boot. How much longer was it going to take before someone else came to help? He’d like to think the three of them could take the Shadow on themselves, but he’d learned long ago that underestimating the enemy was no small mistake.

Wolfie jumped to bite Dark Link’s arm, but as he’d done countless times before, the Dark side-stepped him while simultaneously clashing swords with Warriors. That eerie grin was finally gone, but there was a glint in his eyes that Wars didn’t like one bit.

Legend threw himself forward yet again, hoping to get in an attack while the Dark was occupied. However, Dark Link vanished into thin air just before Legend could reach him, causing Wars to stumble from the sudden lack of pressure.

“Argh!” Legend whirled around. “Where are you, you--”

Warrior’s eyes widened. “Leg, look out!” he yelled as the Shadow reformed behind the veteran.

Legend knew exactly what Warriors’ warning meant, and that if Dark Link was truly behind him, there wouldn’t be any time to turn around before he was quite literally stabbed in the back. So instead, he opted for a spin attack.

Which probably would’ve worked--if Dark Link wasn’t insistent on showing off his teleportation magic. Or in this case, his ability to merge with the hero’s shadow. Legend stepped back quickly as soon as he realized what had happened, but of course, his shadow followed.

Wolfie snarled, but heard an indignant yelp as Wind was disarmed by a stalfos a few feet away from them. He sprinted to the boy’s rescue, clamping his teeth down hard on the culprit’s neck as Wind hurried to retrieve his blade.

“I’m fine,” Legend bit out, then grabbed one of his legs and yanked. “I just can’t move.”

Warriors wrapped his arms around Legend’s torso and pulled. No luck.

The black grew steadily, now climbing up his waist. This was not good.

Suddenly, Sky was there. “I have an idea,” he said, looking to Wars.

“Well, let’s hear it,” the captain replied, voice clipped. “Doesn’t look like we have much time here.”

Sky nodded, then held up the Master Sword. Sacred light climbed the blade, preparing it for a Skyward Strike.

“Oh, none of that, please,” came the disembodied voice of Dark Link. “If you’re going to be so rude, I think I’d best take my leave.”

Legend inhaled sharply as the black vines grew higher with increased speed, beginning to cover him—

“NO!” Without a second thought, Warriors lunged to grab ahold of his friend, unsure of what this strange magic would do and not really wanting to find out.

His fingers barely grazed Legend’s shoulder when there was a sudden flash of light, and he was no longer in the middle of a battlefield. His stomach grew nauseous and he was light-headed, and before he knew it he was keeling over and everything hurt and something felt wrong and—

Warriors’ eyes peeled open, and he blinked a few times. He immediately noticed two things: one, they were in a very dark and ominous prison cell, and two, Legend, who was slumped on the ground next to him, wasn’t moving.

Great. Just great. This was wonderful.

#medli talks #medli writes #linked universe #linkeduniverse #tainted hero fic #tainted hero au #lu legend #lu warriors #one thing that's been a block for me in writing chapter 2 is i kinda want to get really dark with it - more vivid with injuries and such #big angst big whump and such #and i know this fandom is no stranger to that since i've read PLENTY of heavy lu fanfics like that #but i guess since i've never personally written it before i'm scared i'll upset someone? or that i don't have the skill to do it well? idk #writer self doubt i guess #if people who have read this far have any tips lmk #and if i should tag this post with any trigger warnings please tell me! <3

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josephquinnswhore · 21 days ago

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DEAD MEN DON’T KISS - Arthur Morgan x female OC!

chapter one ; an opportunist.

summary: Mrs. Simmons has exhausted all of her leads, and reluctantly agrees to the offer of two rugged cowboys with a mutual interest; killing Colm O’Driscoll.

content warning: mentions of violence, blood, suggested murder and brutality, interrogation, threats.

word count: 1.6k

How many O’Driscoll boys would you have to beat bloody until one of them finally cracked? Over the years, you’d developed a pretty effective interrogation system. One that had worked all through the mountains and valleys of almost every town you’d encountered.

But the O’Driscoll boys that had been sent to monitor the area of Strawberry were different, perhaps Colm was actually managing to recruit men that had half of a fucking brain. Decent with their aim and unfortunately for them and you, tight lipped.

Wiping off the remaining evidence of the last O’Driscoll boy you'd once again failed to get answers from onto your jeans, you pull a stool up to the bar. It sure did raise some eyebrows, but no one dared to ask. These folk in Strawberry, if good for nothing else, minded their own business.

Tossing a few dollars onto the sticky bar, you usher the bartender. “Whatever’s strongest on the shelf.”

The man obeys, pouring a small shot glass of whiskey. “Our finest, miss. Enjoy.”

The glass hadn’t been polished properly, the sight causes a grimace on your irritated features. But the whiskey slides down your throat with its coursing burn that, perhaps; loosens your tightly strung limbs.

“Mister.. what’s your name again?” Calling to the un - busy bartender, pointing to your empty glass as you slide it back to him. Although, as it seems, the glass was now stained with your smeared cherry red lipstick.

“Alden, miss. Alden Pensor.” He greets, re - filling your shot glass and sets it back down in front of you.

Shuffling in your seat the gaze you shoot the man from under your wide brimmed black hat is menacing. “Now, Alden. Would you say this is a fair town, a safe town?”

Alden is weary of how things had turned stiff so quickly, he doesn’t want any fuss, the sheriff was gettin’ mouthy about Alden’s complaints of patrons as of late. He was reminded that if he kicked everyone out of the bar, that he would have no customers and no money. Most of the time it saves all of the mishap of folk searching for illegal drink, like moonshine and causing the entire town havoc.

“I would like to think so, miss. I done lived here all my life and ain’t had much trouble. Save for a few youngins stealin’ from my wife’s garden.”

At that, you slide off your stool and lean against the bar. “That’s how this town should stay, wouldn’t you agree, safe?”

He merely nods. “Anyone would be a fool to deny it.”

The shot glass is shattered against the wooden bar as you slam it down in seething rage and lurch over the bar to grab onto his collar. “So god help me, Alden. Help me understand, friend. Why are there O’Driscoll boys camped at every damn corner ‘round here?”

In an attempt to diffuse the situation, the middle aged man raised his hands in surrender. “I ain’t sure, miss. This is the first I’m hearin’ about any of them boys ‘round here. I swear!”

You shove the man backward, and point your finger at him. “If I hear as much as a whisper that Colm O’Driscoll has been in here all friendly like with you, you’re done, you hear me Alden?”

“I’ll write to you if he shows his face here, I—I swear miss.”

Satisfied with his answer, you fix his collar that you’d just roughened up. “I’ll be in touch, friend.”

Goddamn saloon was full of cowards, entire building full of half drunk patrons that didn’t have the gall to stand up to you, or even give a shout of any word about Colm, surely one of his men were amongst the yellow faced crowd of drunks. They, with any hope, would send word to Colm. Perhaps if the man himself managed to grow a spine over the next week, you’d face off with him yourself.

All you wanted was to look that sack of sorry shit in the eye and make him pay, make things right—

“Miss?” A deep voice calls to you. He’s an odd looking feller. Tall, dark hair and a strangely styled moustache.

Pausing your steps on the creaky and ever splitting wooden steps to your hitched horse, taking a moment to inspect the man. Armed, of course, and it seemed he had a friend with him. Taller, broader, probably his first hand man.

“The hell you two fellers want?”

The older man raises his hands. “Just to talk, that is all. I couldn’t help but overhear you speaking of Colm O’Driscoll.”

Every limb in your body reacts, muscles tighten, every hamstring pulled taut. “If you are one of his boys, this ain’t gonna end well for you.”

The man laughs. “You are sorely mistaken, miss. That man and I.. have an extensive past, but I assure you, it is not favourable.”

He's gained your attention, and a few seconds to explain himself before you drop him with a bullet in the middle of town. “So who are you then, hm? Some rich prick he’s stolen from? I don’t work with no goddamn law neither.”

“Let me ease your mind, miss. My name is Dutch Van Der Linde. This is my associate, Arthur Morgan.” He gestures to his buddy, who finally steps out from behind Dutch.

Younger, burly, goddamn handsome bastard.

“I heard a bit about you lot. So what’s all this got to do with you, or me? This Colm business.”

Arthur piped up this time. His hands sliding into his Jean pockets as he leans against a wooden foundation pole to look down at you. “Maybe we could help each other out. We’ve even havin’ our own issues with Colm for years.”

A huff escapes you. “That so? Why ain’t you killed him yet then? Suppose you recruit buffoons from the doomed circus from Saint Denis?”

Dutch laughs, putting a hand on your shoulder as he steps down the saloon steps to attempt a more personal proposition.

“You sure seem like you know how to manage yourself, miss. I suggest joining forces to kill that bastard once and for all.”

Looking between the men, perhaps this was a stupid idea. But they clearly weren’t Colm’s men, in simple regard to intellect and presentation.

“Try anything,” you warn lowly, lowering your hand to rest on your holstered pistol.

Dutch pats your shoulder. “Come now, if nothin’ else we are men of our word, wouldn’t you agree Arthur?”

“Sure,” Arthur replied with a sigh.

Real reassuring, damned jackass.

“Lead the way.” Nodding your head at the men, you unhitch your horse and mount the sturdy beast. The men go ahead and you follow on behind, keeping a deadly eye on them, and your surroundings.

“It’s alright girl, I know.” Marbelle whinny’s as you kick your spurs into her side and accelerates to keep up with the men.

It’s a short journey on a main trail way until you reach their camp.

“Everyone listen up. We have found ourselves an ally, one that is going to help us succeed in killing Colm O’Driscoll. Once and for all!” The unfamiliar faces cheer at Dutch’s hollow promise, although you wish it were true.

Arthur puts a hand behind your back, hovering above the material of your shirt to assist you in dismounting, which you sent a steely glare. Like you hadn’t dismounted your own damn horse before. “Come with me. Spose I’ll get you settled in.”

Reluctantly, you follow the man. The camp was nice, Horseshoe Overlook, many times had you followed the trailway past but never through. These people had some sense, camping off the trail, onto a flat near water. A decent camp set up with a boiling pot of.. whatever the hell that sloppy brown substance is.. and a pot of coffee.

Naturally people stare, which you don’t reciprocate the smiles, you’re not here for a goddamn social calling.

“I’ll set you up next to me, got a fire nearby an’ all so you should be fine through the evenin’ with it cooling down and such.”

Eyeing the man, you huff. “Thank ya, don’t plan on stayin’ long though.”

“Course not, not like that’s what these folk said too,” he laughs in amusement.

A deep rooted sense of anger gnaws at you. “I ain’t like them.”

He studies you, helping string up the material to a pole with some rope creating a makeshift tent for you. “If you say so. What’s your name anyways.”

A lurch in your heart, the name you haven’t uttered in months, now surfacing with all of the rotten, supple and corrupt grief you’ve tried to suppress for years. “Mrs Simmons.”

Arthur seems to recognise some of the deep rooted resentment as you speak and hums in acknowledgment. “Well, Mrs Simmons. Best get some rest. I’m sure Dutch will be botherin’ you first thing tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Mr Morgan.”

“Don’t mention it.” He doesn’t walk far off, his bedroll is on top of a small cot on the other side of a wagon that also supports the quick makeshift tent for you.

Being surrounded by people again was odd.. almost made you yearn for more company. Most of the evenin’ you lie awake, the breeze is cutting through the thin bedroll of yours and the fire had snuffed out long ago. The locket on your skin felt heavy, burdened with the image, the root of your suffering.

How could you sleep? When all that was on your mind was that coward Colm O’Driscoll. If Dutch was any use to you at all, perhaps you’d be seeing justice sooner than you anticipated.

#arthur morgan x female reader #Arthur Morgan #Arthur Morgan fic #Arthur Morgan rdr2 #chapter one #rdr2 series #Arthur Morgan mini series #read the trigger warnings please

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42spideys · 2 years ago

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— good dog

you don’t need to use your brain, you don’t need to do anything but listen to the only person that matters. leon s. kennedy.

warnings: m.reader, dead dove, yandere! leon, dark content, reader literally doesn’t know how to think without leon helping, abuse, mentions of scars, leon is loving towards reader, mentions of whipping, i might continue this later on but im not sure

enjoy (ㅅ´ ˘ `) !!

leon has had you to himself for months now and he’s so happy about it, he loves having you around. he’s so proud about how well you have adapted to your new home, he hated hurting you like that but you just kept fighting him….so he had to teach you how to be good.

“l-leon! let me go! why are you doing this!?” you screamed, thrashing around in your binding on the cold floor of leon’s basement. you couldn’t read leon’s face at all and it scared you, he stole you from your own home and kept you in his basement. why? what did you do wrong? was he mad? did he hate you? was he going to kill you? these thoughts brought you to tears, you started sobbing profusely while begging leon to let you go.

“shh shh….don’t cry angel. if you keep fighting me i’ll have to hurt you, i don’t want to hurt you baby.” his voice had a dark sense of sympathy, he took you into arms and started rocking back and forth. you thought this was a great attempt to escaped, the only thing that he bothered to tie were your arms. you nuzzled his arm and peppered it with light kisses, he smiled softly thinking you have finally listened to him. he felt a sharp pain in his arm and let out a scream, you bit him. you bit him? are you fucking crazy?

you desperately tried to run up the stairs screaming, trying to get anyone’s attention, you were didn’t know how it happened. your head stung, it burned, your vision was blurry. you saw leon standing above you and his stare was dark, he was breathing heavily in dangerous excitement. he crouched down and grabbed you by your hair, he pulled you close to his face and spat on you.

“bad dog. are you that fucking stupid?” you whined at his words, they were so cruel. you shouldn’t want him to praise you, you need to leave, you need to escape. you tried to pull away from him which was meat with a harsh smack to the face, you cried out in pain. “m’sorry! please no more…i-i promise i-i’ll listen i’m sorry..” you cried trying to convince him you were serious, you didn’t want to be hit anymore. leon looked at you for a moment before smiling, the smile made you feel safe for a moment…. he leaned towards your ears.

“fucking liar. i’ll beat it into your head that you are just a fucking dog, and bad dogs get punished.”

now look at you, you’re being such a good dog for leon! you have graduated from basement to doggy bed right next to leon, instead of not eating at all you get delicious food and snacks in your pretty dog bowl, no more hitting, no more whipping you until you bleed, no more choking till you pass out. you’re a good dog now! so you get spoiled all the time, like a good dog.

“puppy, come here please.” he hears the quick jingle of your pretty leash and collar coming towards him, it makes him smile to himself. you crawl to him with a dazed look in your eyes, ever since you the first couple of weeks of him teaching you to be a good dog you now don’t know how to function without him. you nuzzled his leg im admiration, you melted into him when he started to rub your head.

leon was the only thing that you could think of, leon was your perfect owner! he gave you everything now, belly rubs, kisses, good scratches, cuddles, everything. you just had to be good for him, that’s was it, that was all. if you were a good boy you god a happy leon, if you were a bad boy you had to stay in the basement for a month.

“such a good puppy, you’re all mine yeah?” you let out a soft noise of approval “you only think of me, right pup?” you let out another noise of approval “should i kiss you? do you think that you deserve it, pup?” you say upright and nodded frantically while letting out pathetic whimpers, he smiled at your reaction and leaned down but stopped right before your face.

“i love you, pup.”

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jojosgaylittleadventure · 7 months ago

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This is the fourth fic in my Josuyaus series that takes place while they're still in high school You can find my series here I also have a master post of all my Josuyasu writing here

Summary: After a study session gone wrong, Josuke finds himself needing somewhere he can feel safe and at home and that some where turns out to be Okuyasu. Tags: Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, the following tags are not from/between the ship (just an fyi), Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Side Character/Main Character Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Victim Blaming

#I LIIIIIVVVVVEEE!!!!!!!!#sorry for going missing for like 500 years and then coming at you with a heavy ass fic #this is one of the longest fics i've written so far and it took so long because i wanted to do it right #any of my regular readers please read the tags as this is a heavier fic that might cover topics that some people might find triggering #i know that's not my normal thing so i just wanted to give an extra warning so no one get's jump scared tho a lot of it is rather mild #in my opinion #anyways...#Jojo Part 4 #jjba Part 4 #Diamond is Unbreakable #Josuke Higashikata #Okuyasu Nijimura #Josuyasu #Sophia Writes #Part 4 #Josuke #Okuyasu #Tomoko #She's in there for a scene or two lol #Fic #i'm low-key nervous about posting this one because it feels like it really took a lot of me to write it >.>#it was emotionally taxing but i really wanted to write it

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rockingrobin69 · 1 year ago

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Tiny snippet from imperfection, sad and a little sweet.

When Draco was twenty-one years old, he went to buy new towels.

Harry had his eye set on this purple monstrosity, extremely fluffy and very soft and terribly, horribly over-priced. Draco’s allowance hadn’t come through that month (or the one before), but more important was the uncontrollable urge to give Harry everything: anything he could want, ice-lollies and royal-blue pyjamas and another jumper, why the hell not. To spoil Harry rotten, the way he was always meant to be, to surround him with so much love he’d forget for a moment he was ever without it.

Draco wasn’t new to loving someone. Not, even, to doing so obsessively, inexorably. What was new was the look in Harry’s eyes, was being able to hold his hand in public (in—most places in the city). Was the way Harry said his name, the way his courage was stupidly infectious and his heart so big it didn’t fit in his chest, kept coming out in his smiles and in his hands, warm and soft and always generously offered.

Harry was only visiting. He didn’t, technically, live in Draco’s flat, but he didn’t, technically, have to return to Glasgow for another three weeks.

They made do with the time.

And Draco insisted that Harry must have his own things: his own bathrobe, his own pyjamas, his own toothbrush (fucking—gross, Harry!) and his own towel. Bringing them here, to the shopping centre with the terrible, tacky shop with the terrible, tacky things Harry wanted that terrible, tacky Draco would give his life to get for him.

Not in a dramatic way. In a—subdued, quiet way. In an utterly devoted, hopeless way that shouldn’t have felt nice, that still did. Everything felt nice about Harry. Everything but—

No, that wasn’t Harry’s fault, not even a little. Draco being disgusting and horrible was always meant to be kept secret. And it worked, when Harry lived in Glasgow and Draco in Oxford, it worked when they didn’t spend all their time together, but summer was long and tight and close and… and… and Draco didn’t know how to do this. To bare himself without fleeing, to give what he previously thought wasn’t in him, what couldn’t have been.

(Such as: his heart. Strange, no, that it actually belonged to him, when it never felt like it before. When it was wrapped so tight in strings upon strings, tying it to—other places, other people).

And Harry gave back. Everything Draco wanted to hand him, Harry insisted to return. To hold with care all of Draco’s sharp edges. And Draco was worried that he’d keep holding, even after Draco started to crack, and end up with hands full of shards of cutting Draco, end up—hurt.

Harry held the towel very close to his body. A bit like he worried someone might try to snatch it from him. Draco hated the people who raised him (a familiar, anchoring anger) and, out of spite, took his hand.

“Hey,” soft, like the towel. Harry looked up, his smile focusing, turning un-lost.

“Hi. Sorry. Fuck, you’re cold! C’mere.” Wrapping himself around Draco (uncaring for sharp, sharp edges). “It’s a bit expensive, though. There’s another set at half the price in—”

“Harry,” Draco said, “shut up. It’s from me.”

Meaning: it’s not enough for what I want to give you, for what I wish I could. (And Draco’s sad bank statement would be a worry for another day. He could do more hours at the book shop, if Father didn’t… if he stayed in Beijing for a little bit longer).

Harry squeezed him tighter. “You’re so sweet,” he said, and when Draco scoffed, “no, really,” and when Draco scoffed louder, “you are. You’re so—shut up, you’re maybe the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and—”

“Have you? met me, I mean. There’s not a single thing about me that’s sweet.”

“Your lips are sweet,” Harry said slyly. Draco refused to blush.

“Your hand is sweet,” Harry said, and brought it to his mouth for a chaste kiss.

“Your—”

“We’re in public, you fiend,” Draco said breathlessly, when Harry did no more than kiss the inside of his palm. Harry, being a fiend, laughed.

“God. I’m so fucking into you. It’s—come here,” drawing his face up to be kissed, not letting him shy away. Kissed the tip of his nose and his cheek and his left eyebrow. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Draco couldn’t even attempt coherency. Outmatched, overwhelmed with the constant onslaught, Harry-Harry-Harry all the time, and so warm and so sweet and so there, for a whole week now he was there, staying for the month. What… how could Draco defend against him?

So he pushed away, rolled his eyes, hid his red-red cheeks in Harry’s shoulder and didn’t cry. Didn’t even wish to. It was very bright in the shop and the centre was overcrowded and too noisy, and inside it they were huddled together, a bubble of fluffy, purple towel, and them.

It had to be enough. This month, this—whatever Harry would give him, it had to be enough. Draco would be grateful and suffice with it, and not beg for more. And not be greedy, because greed was a punishable offence and terribly gauche and Draco was better than that, was a Malfoy, was a—yes, all that.

So they bought the fucking towel. Then went home, and watched a film, and ate ramen, and sat very close to each other, sharp edges and all.

#900-ish words #drarry fic #sweetness - mostly #fluff and a touch of angst #snippet of the whumpy one #considering reading the whole fic? please have a look at the TWs #they are plentiful and not at all exaggerated #this snippet is (miraculously) trigger warning free

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dropofbittersea · 2 months ago

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When the police uncover a hidden sub-basement in the home of criminal Alexander Pierce and find a tortured omega and his three pups, they bring them to the Stark Omega Clinic, a non-profit dedicated to rehabilitating traumatized omegas.

After dark in September 2005, fourteen year old Bucky Barnes vanished. Eleven years and three pups later, he is far from the boy that went missing from a suburban neighborhood outside of Denver.

Steve Rogers is an alpha of some means. When he came into money, he decided to use what he had for good and sign up as a candidate to be a support alpha for his close friend Tony's charitable clinic. When he takes on the task of helping reintegrate Bucky and his pups into the world, he doesn't expect to fall so hard.

#stevebucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #abo dynamics #omega!bucky barnes #alpha!steve rogers #tw: sa #please read the tags #and the trigger warnings

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amberjazmyn · 2 months ago

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it's quiet uptown💔

pairing : carlos sainz jr x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of its quiet uptown from the musical hamilton we learn about the devastating death of evangelina, the eldest daughter of carlos and aliona sainz and their grieving process.

warnings : mention of the death of a young child, loads of crying, loosely based on its quiet uptown from the musical hamilton, loose mention of terminal illness and brain tumour, grief, child loss

a/n : this will be very sad so please be warned and only read if you can. also, i've never been pregnant nor lost a child so, this isn't me romanticising it as it's a devastating thing that loads of parents go through. so please be warned that this will not be shying away from being upsetting.

a/n: the eldest daughter's name is evangelina and she has three other siblings, anastaysia, rosalia and santiago.

there are moments that the words don't reach, there is suffering too terrible to name.

it's always a parents worse nightmare, being told that their little kid is sick. especially when it was no longer in the control of the adults, the child's parents. but this was just getting cruel at this point. too cruel. the sainz's, carlos and aliona sat in shock as they were told the worst news that barely reached them. the suffering too terrible to name as it's finally revealed that their eldest daughter, seven-year-old evangelina, didn't make it through the surgery that was supposed to get rid of the rest of her brain tumour, killing her halfway through the surgery. of course, their first reaction is just silence, they didn't scream or cry, they didn't know how to react at first because, how are you supposed to react when you get that type of news. that sort of news that you've just lost the child that made you a parent and the older sister to your two other kids?

"...mr and mrs sainz, i am so sorry that we couldn't do more for evangelina to revive her. we truly did everything we could. if there is anything that your family needs, please let us know and we can make it happen for you as soon as possible," the doctor, dr alvez explained to the grieving parents as carlos nodded his head whilst aliona responded verbally

"thank you so much, dr alvez. we cannot say that enough to you guys, truthfully. you really did everything you possibly could for evangelina and we are ever so grateful! now the worst part is having to tell ana, rosie and santi..." aliona trailed off as the doctor gives a small empathetic smile

"the entire team of nurses and doctors that worked with evangelina are truly going to cherise your words, mrs sainz, so thank you! and, honestly, if it'll make things easier for you and your husband, i am more than ready to try and explain what has happened to evangelina to the other three if you aren't sure," dr alvez tilts his head as aliona smiles gratefully as does carlos as they nod their heads

"that would be amazing, thank you dr alvez! but, i'm afraid since they aren't with us and are back with their abuelo and abuela at home, i think it's best if we tell them. however, it'll definitely be a difficult conversation to have with them for sure..." aliona trailed off as dr alvez agreed, telling adults this sort of news was difficult but it was even harder telling this sort of news to underdeveloped children

"...of course mrs sainz. however, if you would like some tips, i'd say to create a safe space for the kids and ask them what they understand about what happened to their older sister. and then, from there, just keep on gradually telling them information rather than telling them everything straight away and also make sure to answer any questions they may have directly. and also try not to overwhelm them with details that are unnecessary. i also recommend you involve the other three as much as their young ages allow them to be and to make sure they are being supported. also, don't be afraid in showing your emotions to them because then, if they do see their mama and papa getting upset, it can really show them that it's okay to get upset. however, whilst it is good to allow them to see and feel comfortable with those emotions, try not to cry in front of them too much. because then that can cause fear into the other kids and they may worry and think that evangelina is all you can think about. which will make them think you've forgotten about your other three kids. but, all in all, just make sure you give anastaysia, rosalia and santiago age appropriate responses and don't neglect them now that evangelina's gone because they'll be relying on you to console them and take care of them when they miss their sister, okay?" dr alvez explained as aliona and carlos nodded their heads, understanding completely on how they were going to tell their remaining children that their older sister was now gone forever

so, that was what carlos and aliona did. after saying a final heartbreaking goodbye to their eldest baby, they left the hospital and got into their car and drove back to madrid. they always imagined the day they'd get to finally leave the hospital properly but never did they think they'd be driving back without their precious little baby girl, evangelina. and now they had to explain to the rest of the family and the kids why they had come back home with evangelina.

you hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable.

the moment carlos and aliona finally returned home from the hospital, carlos sr and reyes as well as some of carlos' f1 teammates and wags that had stayed back in madrid had noticed that they were missing little evangelina, it was obvious what had happened. that the sweet little seven year old evangelina sainz didn't make it through her surgery and it was devastating. the parents of carlos jr had lost the little girl that first made them abuelo and abuela and the f1 teammates of carlos' had lost a part of their own special little family that was the uncles and aunties to the little girl. but most importantly, anastaysia, rosalia and santiago had lost their older sister and they were none the wiser. anastaysia was the youngest at four years old whilst rosalia and santiago, who were twins, were five years old and had just started school.

after lugging his tired body into his house, carlos just watched as his wife was brought into so many hugs from his parents and his teammates and their girlfriends that he was kind of getting ignored. well, no, that's not true, carlos wasn't being ignored. that's the wrong word at all, he knew they'd make their round of condolences and consolations to him eventually but right now, it was all being focused on aliona because she was the one who looked like, at face value by just looking at her, that she needed to be comforted first.

however, he was just numb. unlike his wife, who was now weeping inconsolably, carlos wasn't able to cry at all. it was as though his tear ducts had an on/off switch right by his ear and it had just been switched off the moment dr alvez had told him and his wife about the devastating news that they had lost evangelina. he knew it was going to hit him eventually but he wasn't aware that it wasn't hitting him right at this second and that it could possibly take a while for it to properly sink in that he now had a missing piece of his family's puzzle. his eyes looked and scanned around the entire first floor of his home, it was so loud in the kitchen with the tears and condolences and then as carlos turned his head and looked into the lounge room, it was silent. the only noise from the lounge room was the television which was playing a movie that the twins had requested to their abuelo and abuela that anastaysia also ending up loving just as much. that was when he made eye contact with his little boy. his little santiago. his mini carlos and he felt his heart snap as the little boy bounded off of the couch and rushed over to his papa for a hug. as though the little boy hadn't seen his dad for months when really it had been coming up to a full twenty-four hours at this point. the little boy's joy at seeing his papa in this moment was the same as it was when papa was coming back from a race weekend. and when santiago went to jump for papa to pick him up, carlos caught him seamlessly as he always did.

"...papa! papa! estás en casa!" santiago squealed in spanish as carlos tried to smile as santiago's voice caused the adults in the kitchen to sush dad! dad! you're home!

heartbreak towering over them as they watched the pure innoncence of their little nephew and grandson, sweet santiago's excitement of seeing his papa again. with the little boy being none the wiser as to where his older sister evangelina is either.

"si mi amor, estoy en casa y mamá también!" carlos' voice came out quieter than he wanted it too as he gulped, hoping his little boy wouldn't notice the difference in his voice but he did yes my love, i'm home and so is mum!

whilst santiago was only five, he was really intelligent and emotionally wise for his age so, the little boy knew that something was off about his papa. as well as his mama when he made eye contact with her and noticed she had been crying.

"mamá está llorando papá, qué pasa? donde esta evangelina?" carlos wasn't aware at how gut-wrenching hearing his little boy saying that would be mummy's crying daddy, what's wrong? where's evangelina?

and carlos wasn't even sure on how he'd explain it to his little boy that evangelina was gone. so he stayed silent as santiago looked at him, his big brown eyes, identical to carlos', staring into his soul. just as carlos' mouth opened again to somewhat explain to santiago, the two girls, anastaysia and rosalia noticed that their papa and mama were finally home. a chorus of the two little girls screaming for their parents, their papa, especially was nearly the stick that broke the camels's back for carlos. however he managed to hold it in and he had no clue how.

"PAPÁ!" four year old anastaysia sainz yells as she sees her papa after she and rosalia went looking for their brother santiago as she runs over as quickly as she can

carlos' eyes tear up as he fights against it as he then picks up his littlest girl, hugging her close to his chest, "hola cariño, did you behave for your abeulo, abuela and aunties and uncles today?" he asks, grateful that for once he was able to once again keep his tears at a standstill for his youngest

nodding her head enthusiastically with the biggest smile on her face almost destroyed carlos, "si papa! of course i was!" she was so clueless and innocent, as were rosalia and santiago as they brought mum in on the group hug, as she responded to her dad's question which only made the parents hug their kids tighter

like mentioned already, aliona had since joined in, knowing that this news was truly going to devastate carlos, as it did her. carlos and aliona held their babies tightly as they tried to push away the unimaginable of the loss of their eldest baby.

"mama and papa love you so much you three, you know that right?" aliona spoke up, including all the kids, moving out of the hug as carlos and anastaysia hug tighter as rosalia and santiago hug their mum tighter as the three of them nod their head in confusion

rosalia the first to realise that something wasn't quite right with her mama and papa. so, she asked about it and it was gutwrenching.

"papa, mama, where's evangelina?" the question that carlos and aliona knew was going to be asked was asked and it was painful

touching her husband's cheek softly, aliona takes her newly eldest daughter out of carlos' grip so he could take a breather whilst she explained a little bit to her three kids. anastaysia and santiago now wanting to know.

"carino, she's still in hospital, do you three remember how sick she was?" aliona spoke softly, rosalia, santiago and anastaysia all nodding their heads as they hugged their mama closer, aliona making her grip tighter as they off to find papa

after everyone left so they could allow the family to finally grieve their new loss properly, the sainz family then all slept togehter, hugging each other as tight as they could, trying to push away the unimaginable and the heartbreak.

the moments when you're in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down

since the death of evangelina, it seemed as though carlos had completely shut down whilst aliona started to force herself to do everything. they were on two separate ends of the grieving spectrum yet they weren't yelling at each other, hating each other, making an unsafe environment for their three kids nor were they miscommunicating with each other. carlos was just struggling a lot more than he let himself believe or thought he would. for days, he refused to let himself cry because he forced himself to go back to work. whilst, fortunately, formula one were so accomodating in regards to child bereavement, carlos refused to take the required time away that his team principal from ferrari, fred vassuer, had given him. but also because he was scared that if anastaysia, rosalia or santiago saw their papa cry then they'd ask questions, questions that one, he wasn't ready to answer for his own little safety circle and two, because he didn't know the real answers to said questions.

however, one day, on a monday when the twins were at school and anastaysia was with abuelo and abuela the day after a race weekend, aliona decided it was time to break into her husband's grief and see if there was anything she could to help him open up. it was breaking aliona's heart to see the way carlos struggled in his grief so deeply whilst still returning back to work, especially when his job is racing fast cars most weekends. it was clear that for carlos, the easiest thing for him to do was to just swim down, as deeply as he could and just try and ignore it.

walking into their shared bedroom, it shocked aliona to see her husband frantically getting his bag ready for the next race, thinking that he'd be in the right headspace to return. trying to pull him away was physically hard considering how much stronger carlos is in comparison to aliona but, that didn't stop her from getting her husband to stop and sit down next to her. as they sat down, aliona pleaded with her husband to talk to her so she could help him.

"carlitos, baby, please talk to me! i want to help you. do you seriously think you're ready to jump back into work, into that car as though we didn't just go through the worst thing a parent could go through?" aliona pleaded to her husband, grateful that their kids were at school and with their grandparents, not at home hearing this conversation

carlos stayed silent as aliona pleaded once more, "come on, carlos, why are you so adamant about going back to work? you need to grieve your baby! anastaysia, rosalia and santiago need you carlos and so do i! fred is so understanding over our circumstances, why can't you just stop worrying about work and start worrying about taking care of yourself?!" aliona begged as carlos' face screwed up as he softly sniffled

slowly, carlos started to break down as he spoke up, making eye contact with his wife, "it hurt, aliona," he whimpered as aliona moved closer as she nodded her head, urging her husband to continue as she didn't say a word

"it hurt so bad!" carlos sobbed, his voice high an octave as he tried to keep himself in control, ultimately failing though as aliona nodded her head

and carlos was right, it did hurt. it was the worst pain that aliona could have ever felt as well, having to outlive their seven year old daughter. it was a pain that was unimaginable to so many people, including aliona and carlos, right up until they went through it with evangelina's terminal illness as she rubbed her hand along her husband's arm as the other one held his back up.

"it...it was like my insides were being torn apart. i...i just, i couldn't understand why our little baby had to die! they had promised us that the surgery was going to help her and sufficently reduce the cancer! why did it fail, aliona? why didn't it work?" carlos sobbed as aliona opened her arms, pulling in her distraught husband for a hug, rocking them both side to side

"it's okay, mi amor, it's okay!" aliona whispered, hugging carlos tighter as he continued crying and struggled to be quiet as aliona whispered sweet nothings of comfort in spanish

carlos could slowly start to feel some of the heaviness that he had been carrying around throughout his body since getting the news just be alleviated and seep out of his body. he had been feeling so heavy because he had shut himself down and refused to acknowledge the grief and tried to push through it and go back to work. which ultimately failed him because, everywhere he turned, he was always reminded of his little baby girl, evangelina.

"mi amor, it's okay to cry! it's okay to grieve and it's okay to miss evangelina! hell, i talk to her every night and have since she was first admitted into hospital and i still cry! i know how much it's hurting the kids and the rest of the family, we just want to help you as we're also going through the same thing!" aliona spoke softly, her hand softly caressing her husband's wet cheeks as he nodded his head and sniffled quietly

"i know it's just so hard to ask for help! no one else i fear will understand just how much i miss our little baby! it's just so much easier to ignore it, pushing it down as far as i can," carlos' voice was small and almost childlike as aliona pouted at her husband's response as she ran her fingers through his messy hair

"just take baby steps, mi amor. just start with the simple things about evangelina, like your favourite photos of her and then go from there. you don't need to throw yourself into the deep end straight away. and another thing is just talking about her because i've found that i feel so much better after having a simple conversation about her because then it means she's still here and isn't being forgotten about," aliona explained as carlos seemed to like hearing that as it gave him a reason to look back at his favourite photos of his eldest baby not that he ever needed a reason

"gracias, cariño," carlos sniffled softly, wiping his tears away as he sweetly kissed his wife who smiled at him as he grabbed his phone

immediately opening his photo gallery, he was bombarded with photos of evangelina and at first it did make his heart hurt. but the more photos he looked through, the less the pain stung. whilst carlos was always going to miss his baby girl, he knew that not everything was lost just because she was gone.

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carlossainz55 evangelina elliana sainz was me and my wife's first baby and it hurts my heart as well as my wife's knowing that she's gone. these four photos only some of what we have left to remember her by. but these photos are how i want to remember our eldest daughter. remembering the hospital trips, the endless tears and screams, the hair loss, the sleepless nights, chemotherapy treatments and it's constantly side effects, the appointments that i would have to miss due to race weekends leaving aliona all alone with the kids was only just a slither of my daughter's life even if it was the most expensive and time--consuming, it's a part of life that i just want to forget because those moments do not reflect who our eldest daughter really was at all. she was a funny, sweet, gorgeous, kind, loving little girl that only wanted what was best for her younger siblings, her family and friends. she was the best big sister to anastaysia, rosalia and santiago and it breaks my heart more than anything that the rest of our kids have lost that guiding light in their life now. evangelina only seven, the twins, rosalia and santiago five and anastaysia only four when their older sister died in the middle of a surgery. a surgery that was confident in removing the rest of the brain tumour she had been diagnosed with, giving her a more fighting chance in beating her terminal illness. this past week has felt so long and strenuous that it has truly been a struggle but seeing all the love from everyone, within formula one and on social media has truly been really sweet and special for me and my family to be reading and we are very grateful for it. it was an honour to get to have the privlege to be evangelina's papa for seven years and i would do it all again just to see her again. mama and papa love you forever, evangelina 🤍

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alionasainz love you mi amor! evangelina will always be missed by all of us 🤍

carlossainz55 alionasainz love you more mi amor! and yes she will, she'll never not be missed 🤍

carlossainzofficial sólo desearía poder quitarte este dolor, hijo mío. i only wish i could take this pain away from you my son

carlossainz55 carlossainzofficial gracias papá, ojalá yo también pudiera. te amo thank you dad, i wish i could as well. i love you

charlesleclerc missing our sweet evangelina a little more today

carlossainz55 charlesleclerc there's never a day we won't miss her i don't think!

alexandrasaintmleux these photos are so sweet carlos! she was such a precious little girl and we miss her every single day

carlossainz55 alexandrasaintmleux thank you alex! she was truly a sweetheart and i do miss her all the time

sainzachu we miss her so much, carlos. thank you so much to you and aliona for letting us to have a look in at your family life with your children. they are all gorgeous and love you so much

carlossainz55 sainzachu thank you so much! and it was and still is a joy to share little snippets of our family with you guys and we'll continue to do so!

landonorris this was lovely, carlos. we miss her little face every single day and i have no doubt that she is protecting rosalia, santiago and anastaysia every single day

carlossainz55 landonorris thank you lando! and i appreciate you saying that, i do believe as well that we are being looked after by her

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alionasainz rosalia, santiago and anastaysia will never forget their older hermana, evangelina. and neither will mama and papa! please be safe up there, evangelina and i hope you're not scared! mama and papa love you forever sweet girl 🤍

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carlossainz55 esto me duele el corazón, mi amor! evangelina realmente completó nuestra pequeña familia this makes my heart hurt, my love! evangelina really did complete our little family

alionasainz carlossainz55 a mí también me duele el corazón, mi amor! pero estaremos bien, lo prometo it makes my heart hurt too my love! but we'll be okay, i promise

anasainzvdc mi pequeña evangelina! la extraño muchísimo my little baby evangelina! i miss her terribly!

alionasainz anasainzvdc yo se, verdad? era tan pequeña en estas fotos! y todos la extrañamos, ana i know right? she was so little in these photos! and we all miss her, ana

landonorris breaking my heart with these posts! evangelina is keeping you all safe, aliona, please never doubt that!

alionasainz landonorris these posts are heartbreaking lando, and you are such a sweetheart for saying that! we'll never doubt evangelina's love for us

lecachusainzachu i can't even imagine just how this grief must feel! it must be unimaginable! evangelina looked like she was a lovely and very sweet girl and she'll be missed by so many

alionasainz lecachusainzachu thank you my love! and i'm glad you can't imagine this grief because it truly is unimaginable!

maxverstappen1 sending every bit of love and hugs and kisses as i possibly can, aliona! evangelina will forever be missed and never forgotten

alionasainz maxverstappen1 thank you so much, maxie! carlos, the kids and i are really so appreicative of everything you and kelly have done for us along with the other drivers! you have made this grief feel so much lighter than it would have if we didn't have you guys so we really do love and appreciate you all a lot for what you've done for us!

there are moments that the words don't reach, there is a grace too powerful to name, we push away what we can never understand. we push away the unimaginable.

fin

well this was a depressing rewrite but it had to be done since you know what it means when i am recycling old fanfics: i have writer's block and am stuck in finding inspiration! like, i haven't forgotten about my original works, they are still holding it up perfectly in the drafts but i just don't know where the inspiration has gone to finish them! but i do promise they will be finished as soon as i am able to finish them because i truly was so excited about them but just lost inspo halfway through writing all of them.

#formula one #angst #carlos sainz jr #back at it with the depressing angsty fics #major character death #if any of these topics trigger you please do not read because it is not my fault if these triggers and warnings are ignored

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