#please point to where i said that none of what you said isn't real btw?

[momett]

you realize ramcoa isn’t “secret satanic illuminati shadow organization”.. right? it’s a way to describe a very specific type of abuse. are you saying cults aren’t real? human trafficking isn’t way? institutionalized abuse isn’t real? be so fr

you realize that is exactly what the chairman/president of the RAMCOA SIG, michael salter, believes.. right? in 2008 he tried to claim that a certain preschool had tunnels built under it that he implied were used for satanic ritual abuse... he is a conspiracy theorist, and one of the biggest proponents of RAMCOA.

he believes that the satanic temple is after him, the RAMCOA SIG, and the ISSTD. he believes he is being stalked by satanists who want to literally kill him.

[arabellameyer]

AN INTRODUCTION TO ME (plus side blogs/other places you can find me)

Hello everyone! How are you? I'm Arabella, and I love to worldbuild, learn about nature, draw, and a bunch of other stuff. If you have any questions about my worlduilding, let me know! Please keep conversations appropriate (no sexting or asking extremely personal questions). Here there will be reblogs of/art of some stuff you might find disturbing (body horror/gore), but I will label it as such (gore, blood, tw, nsfw, etc). It's part of my worldbuilding as you'll see here over time. But it isn't the only part of my worldbuilding, so don't worry about missing out on much. I do not tolerate any porn so none will be here. I've heard too many stories of people dealing with porn addictions and how debilitating it is, so I'm not even going to chance looking at it, lead alone reblogging it.

Filing system down below v

When I reblog stuff, I'll put it in a file system that is similar to my pinterest pinning system (same titles and such). Here's how it'll go...

(btw if any of these tags are of no interest to you, then feel free to block them)

Art:

Animal reference

Animal pose

Animal behavior

Art reference

Human pose

Guide or Art Guide

Landscape

Procreate

Ibispaint

Aesthetic/pattern:

It just looks pretty - I like it because it looks nice :)

Storytelling or Cinematic - the way it sends a message is interesting, and I'd like to use it as inspiration

Worldbuilding:

(BTW level 1 animals are animals found irl)

Level 2 - Like irl animals that have one little thing changed about them, like their color or number of eyes.

Level 3 - Mix of 2 or more animals that is hard to distinguish what the original animal is (like a cat/snake mix, was it originally a cat or originally a snake).

Level 4 - A change in the original species causes a majority of people to fear it, like deep fear it. Creepy

Level 5 - Like levels 2-4, but with a horror aspect to it (like snakes that look like intestines).

I've made guides for my leveling system and I'll post them soon, so don't worry if you're confused ;)

Dragons

Elementals

Hybrid

Scene idea - idea for a plot point or fun story in my world

Characters:

Characters - catch-all

Johann the discoverer

Damien

Mama nova

Void deer

(I'll add more as time goes on)

Memes:

Memes - general tag

Remember - has some relevance to it, whether or not it's a meme (just sorta a catch-all for anything that I want to remember. You'll see what I mean if you search through there.)

Scenario - meme that describes a scene, and I don't know where else to put it

Food for the funnies - this is where I put the stuff I actually laugh at. Not just a breath out of my nose, but a true laugh.

Derpy - •u•

Fever dream - lol those memes that make no sense or come out of left field

And that's how babies are made - I'm not even going to explain this one lol

Stay flexy - exercise ideas

Cute:

Cute - catch-all for anything adorable :3

Cute animal - specifically cute animals

Cute plant - specifically cute plants

Misc:

Recommend or Recommendation - smth I should check out (to buy or look @ again)

Pins or Enamel pins - enamel pins I like the look of.

Watch later - if I like the look of it but don't have the mental energy to completely peruse it, then I'll put it here.

Ok so that is my filing system lol. I know it's pretty long but I plan on using the references and stuff I find here.

I know I said this before, but I love talking (raging extrovert), so if you wanna chat or dump a writing idea or creature idea on me, then go for it! Heck, my commissions are also open (not getting them done immediately, tho) if you're interested (no guarantee on the quality. Just know I am still learning the fundamentals of art). Anyways, if you're reading this far, then you're one of the real ones (also, what's your favorite color? Mine is blue, but I like them all tbh) 💪. Thanks so much for reading this. I'll have a side blog here shortly where I'll post only my art so that you don't have to go through all my reblogs, lol. Anyways, thanks so much, and have a blessed day <3

P.S. this is my art-only side blog and deviantart. Here, have a mouse 🫴🐁

[jeonjk0504]

Hi! I admire your open minded responses and ethics. You have said in some posts that you believe Taehyung and Jungkook are mutually attracted to each other but that they haven't confessed or consummated. (Please correct me if I got it wrong!) I was wondering why, in your opinion, Taehyung and Jungkook wouldn't just take the leap and be together after being on a journey of so many years? Is it your opinion that homophobic society is holding them back? Is it the risks to the band? They seem like two rich, empowered men to me. Taehyung seems like a very honest and authentic person. And Jungkook tweeted a drawing he made of a famous line from Love Simon. These guys would know that being in a committed same sex relationship is an option, right? I am not saying they could necessarily be open about it but I find the idea of them wanting it but not acting on it challenging.

It is a sentiment that I see in a lot of cis het female dominated spaces that revolve around queer men, or the idea of queer men. It's love, it's attraction, it's everything but the relationship. And the sex. It strikes me as a heteronormative overlay on what queer men can and can't do, as if the relationship is allowed to be sexual and romantic only in y'all's minds. It looks like shipping but it also looks like erasure.

Personally, I do not think that Taekook are together but I could be wrong. Anything is possible. I admire the way you stand up for what is right and role model that it is never ok to be a bully. What people consider 'harmless' is relative. I don't buy any 'ships' in BTS as purely aesthetic relationships. I am a gay person and can't take away my identity while seeing this content. Hovering between the space of 'they are real' and 'I just want them to be real' is a safe space for bloggers to be. But it isn't a great representation of genuine LGBTQ+people. A 25 yr old and a 23 year old aren't nuns.

You don't have to answer this question if you prefer not to, of course. I didn't mean to try to make you defend your interests. Your points of view are as valid as mine.

Hey anon!

Thanks a lot for your interesting questions! :)

My personal feeling of them being mutually attracted to one another but not being in a relationship, stems from the dynamic they have. But i got to say, i‘m never 100% sure. I don‘t think you can tell at the tip of their noses if people are in a relationship, because it‘s mostly based on „what would i say/do/act like in a relationship?“ and that can never be copied onto people, even less if you don‘t know them personally.

What makes me say that though is a mixture of reasons. The biggest of them is simple: their friendship. My personal impression is often, that they feel drawn to each other but they also have a good eye on their responsibilities and possibilities. This is less of something i can „prove“, it‘s simply a feeling i get based on various situations and how i see them act, none in specific. I also imagine to cross the line of friendship, might be a lot harder in a conservative country while being in this wide reaching spotlight in contrast to other spaces. And all the other things you took as an example, can add to that they don‘t have to though (the popularity, the band, the family, …).

Also when i say i get the impression it‘s unspoken, i refer to them talking about that attraction or establishing a mature understanding, i have never said they haven‘t acted on it. Their body language feels like they have, actually. To me at least.

I know they both support LGBTQIA Artists and Art. But supporting it and identifying with it are two different pair of shoes.

And while Taehyung seems very, let‘s say adventurous to me, he has always had a strong affinity to a self-image based on his father. Which might mean you can indulge in something for fun (same sex intimacy) but when it get’s serious (same sex relationships) it‘s better to follow conservative ideals, like a lot of oppressed or erased homosexuals in Homophobic countries do.

This is just a connection i keep thinking about though, not a fact. It‘s only a fact that he views his dad as a role-model, visually and also in the role that he performs. His strong wish for children supports that as well. And i‘m not saying it‘s impossible for same sex couples to start a family with children (at least not where i come from) but in SK it‘s sadly not an option as of now. They‘re neither allowed to marry, nor have a legal partnership which will definitely have an impact on how you approach relationships in any case.

And i keep questioning myself: would you share such a sensitive wish like having kids, knowing fully well that it‘s not an option while being in a serious same sex relationship? Or would you share it in the belief that laws will change in the future or you will („somehow“) end up with a woman to make it happen? It may be nitpicky of me to question that, but i see it as a possible indicator of Taehyung not being in a serious same sex relationship as of now, because i feel like his desire to have children in some way, has always been noticeably strong and if he shares his wishes in such a carefree way, maybe his wish is in no danger.

Btw i know a lot of TKer i talk to disagree with me on this and they don‘t think it has to mean anything! 😌 and to be fair: we have the same amount of possible indicators that speak in favor of a relationship. I feel like i‘m talking a lot about why i think they‘re not, rather in what way they could actually be… (very ironic, looking at my blog)

Jungkook on the other hand is a little romantic to me, but he seems very careful too not like someone who just takes the leap (i‘m not saying shy, pretty sure he got over that a few years ago for the most part..).

There is a lot more, but it would take up too much space to elaborate so i hope it‘s okay i only gave a small reason for now.

Concerning your criticism on cishet spaces, they are of course valid and it‘s important to keep an eye on that and call out people who hurt the community. I don‘t feel comfortable with you associating me in that space though, because i doubt you actually know from what perspective i am sharing my opinions. I also use BTS neither for hetero nor LGBTQIA representation because i don‘t know what they identify as. It goes both ways. You might see it as hovering in a safe space, but for me that safe space is mostly there out of respect, not because i don‘t feel brave enough to take a stance.

I thank you for your respectful questions! :) it was interesting to reflect on why i view them the way i do. Please always feel free to share your opinions with me 🥰 have a nice day!!

[bloommelon]

Everything Is Blue

WARNINGS: severe angst, suicidal themes, suggestive sexual content, eventual suicide, mental illnesses, eventual character death, unhappy ending, suicidal content, graphic suicide

A/N: please don't read if you're depressed, this is a very sad story but im proud of it because I actually finished something for ONCE. NONE of this is based on real life, it's all fiction. Jaehyun just fit my idea of this character, and I hope no one gets the wrong idea that I tried to glamorize suicide. And also, I do not feel suicidal and I am not depressed because of writing this, i simply got this idea while thinking I should try and write angst. On another note, I hope whoever reads this likes it or at least it makes you feel some type of emotion. Thank you. *i did not proofread at all btw*

Song: Colors by Halsey

✖✖✖✖

August 3rd

Jaehyun and I sat in a field of Nemophila by the river, the sun shining and clouds floating above us eating strawberries and our laughter filling the hot summer air. Jaehyun had taken me to the museum to see his favorite painting an hour beforehand, telling me it reminded him of me. It was a simple painting, blue sky with fluffy white clouds on a sunny day. I'd almost stayed home that day, not wanting to go anywhere due to a flurry of sudden panic attacks that week. "When you're feeling anxious, come here and call me and I'll come as quick as I can." At that moment, I'd been filled with happiness due to Jaehyun's caring nature but I should have been the one making sure he had somewhere to go when he was upset, but his feelings of sadness weren't noticeable back then. Giving him a hug wasn't enough to stop the pain he felt daily just from living. Laughter hurt, and so did seeing me smile making guilt rush through him at the fact that I brought him some happiness, but not enough for him to change his mind.

September 19th

Jaehyun wrote poetry about clouds and sunshine and the color blue. He would have  painted himself blue if it was socially exceptable. Most of the poems he let me read brought tears to my eyes, ruining my mascara. He always wiped the mascara off, then he'd kiss all my tears away telling me that's how poetry should make me feel. I told him many times how intense it felt, the emotions brought out by the poems he wrote and he'd stare at me and say" that's how i feel about you." Intense. Wildly. Airy. Bright and warm like sunshine shining down through clouds. Most people tell you to write when you're feeling blue to get whatever you're feeling out of your system so that you can feel yellow and bright again,but he still wished for the sun to poison him. He wished for dehydration and shock to take him away instead of writing useless poems.

October 13th

Friday the thirteenth. Bad omens were shown, I just didn't recognize them. I look back now and something had been off about Jaehyun that day. His smile wasn't the same. It was crooked in a way that it was almost a frown, but to outsiders it passed as a normal expression of happiness. He painted sometimes just like writing, and his paintings left me feeling blue just like the blue sky in august, like the painting in the museum, like the color of the walls in his room. It wasnt even a sad painting-he'd painted a red rose in a field of baby blue eyes by a river at night. It wasn't even sad, but when i touched the paper after it dried, I just wanted to cry. He'd held me telling me about the meaning behind it. "It's supposed to make you appreciate things and people that are different, but still appreciate the normal things and people too. No one should be left out. That everyone and everything is more than meets the eye, you just have to look deeper." The way he talked made me want to cry, and he could sense something was wrong, but the fact that I couldn't look deeper to notice his sadness made me tell him everything was fine. I pretended I was fine and I pretended he was fine, so that in the moment, I could feel like everything was fine when nothing about that day was fine. That night he'd went home and cried himself to sleep, and he'd almost done something heartwrenching but I couldn't ask him a simple 'are you okay?'. He would have lied anyways, but maybe if i would have pushed him to answer he wouldn't have cried alone that night or almost took a razor to his skin.

November 7th

Jaehyun and I would sit in my room for hours in comfortable silence, him drawing while i read books. He'd been noticeably upset on this day. To the point where I kept asking him what was wrong and was everything okay. He started rambling about death and blood to the point where fear bubbled up inside of me, spilling out into the world and when he noticed I was terrified, he had cried and apologized repeatedly. He'd thrown his drawing pad in the middle of all of this, it getting lost behind my bed. I'd held him for hours after that, hoping he would feel better and calm down. It worked on the outside, and I foolishly believed I'd helped him on the inside as well. He wasn't okay, and the way he had talked about blood and death so freely spoke volumes about what he thought of daily. If only I'd tried to look deeper. Most of us take what we see on the outside and assume that there's nothing more to see and we should look away as to not disturb the normalcy of the world.

December 25th

Christmas day was snowy and beautiful, the sun fighting it's way through the clouds to shine down on everything to try and melt the snow, but the snow was relentless and the roads icy. The gifts didnt matter that day as everyone was together and that made Jaehyun filled to the brim with happiness, which mattered a lot more. That night we lay together wrapped in nothing but the warmest blue blanket we could find, the snow falling against the window and the christmas lights above us in my room shining down us painting our faces in green and red. He was happy, but that didn't mean the pain had suddnely disappeared and that family made the bad thoughts run away, he was just hiding them. That night he whispered how much he loved me , lips against my temple. He told me I was the only gift he needed. He didnt know that he was the only gift I needed, and that him staying could have been so much better. Maybe that's selfish. On Christmas some people expect everything they want to be given but give nothing to others. That year, I was sadly part of the people who expect and was given everything I wanted but I gave nothing.

February 14th

Jaehyun's birthday. I had thrown him a surprise party that he loved, wearing a blue dress with pink hearts on it since it was also Valentine's day. Once he opened his gifts, which was a copy of the painting with the clouds on a sunny day that he absolutely adored and a necklace with my name on it in the shape of a cloud. His dimples stayed out all day, like I wish they would have stayed for life. As a Valentine's gift he gave me a blue rose and a painting of me by the river sitting in the field of Nemophila. That night I ended up in only his blue flannel with marks of his love on my skin the next morning,his whispers of "i love you more than anything" ingrained in my thoughts forever. I'd told him the same, but it didnt count as much since he said it first, and knowing now that that wasn't enough for him to stay breaks my heart all over again.

March 2nd

We spent the day walking around despite him being vocal of not feeling like getting out of bed, and he was a bit angry with me until I got him laughing by singing embarrassing 80's songs and dancing awkwardly. We both danced until we got tired, our legs exhausted and breathing was a difficult feat. I told him that he didn't deserve to be sad and he told me "i deserve whatever the world throws at me" which made me worry about him for weeks. I didnt tell him that, although maybe I should have. I just didn't want to make him feel bad when i started having panic attacks again because of it. He didn't know and didn't mean to, he just was in so much pain.

April 20th

He'd cooked for me on this day, telling me he felt a lot better. He appeared completely calm and peaceful like how some people get after doing things they love. Which he was good at cooking and enjoyed it, so I was extremely happy. He hadn't cooked in months-not like this. He was also baking. He wouldn't let me go in his kitchen. "It's a surprise, darling. Just be patient" Although he acted normal enough, whatever normal means, i sensed sadness coming from his being. After we ate, I felt nauseous. He turned into a concerning boyfriend rather than a happy one which made me upset since I knew he was keeping his sadness a secret. While he went to clean the kitchen after throwing a blanket on my cold body, I felt even more nauseous and after contemplating on whether or not to run to the bathroom my body decided for me. Vomiting isn't something anyone is fond of, and Jaehyun was even more concerned when he found me lying on the floor against the bathtub. He threw all the food away after that and blamed himself for me getting sick, though It was just a case of me eating way too much. Once in his bed, he kept apologizing and ended up crying but I held him and told him everything was okay. He didn't tell me that every small thing affected him so horribly it'd leave him wishing he'd never been born. He didn't know that those small things were things he couldn't help, but his brain told him that he ruined everything.

May 27th

Sitting in the field of Baby blue eyes with him felt different this time. More peaceful. We laid down side by side watching the clouds, he always said he wanted to float in the clouds but not anything about how he wanted to be buried like the roots of the nemophila we laid on. He didn't tell me he didnt want to grow anymore, not by himself and not with me-not with anyone. Instead he told me how much he loved me, that he'd die for me and told me it all day. He wouldn't let his hands off of me, never letting go of my hand or arm or hips. He wouldn't let go. He asked me to stay the night and keot me in his arms until I had to work the next day, getting upset when I left. He didn't tell me I'd only have a week or two left of this. Left of being in love, left of seeing his pretty smile and those dimples he was known for showing almost all the time. He didn't tell me he was looking for reasons to stay, trying so hard not to give up.

June 16th

When I'd woken up, a feeling of dread left me near tears all day. I hadn't seen Jaehyun in three days and it'd gotten late in the day without a word from him which was unusual. I pushed the uncomfortable feeling to the side until I'd decided to leave to go see him after calling him and texting him repeatedly. While walking out the door I remembered that day when he'd terified me with that talk of blood and death and him throwing his drawing pad. Worry filled my being, making me feel sick as I pushed my bed onto the side to find his blue drawing pad.

Tears stream down my face at the drawing I found. In my hands was the reason for all his weird behavior,all his guilt and all of his pain. He wanted to die. My Jaehyun wanted to disappear from this world forever. I throw the drawing pad in a random direction and run. I call all of our friends and his family, wanting to know if they had seen him. None of them had. I didn't want it to be true.

My legs carried me to the field of baby blue eyes by the streaming river, the sun shining down so brightly and the clouds reminding me of the painting Jaehyun loved so much.

My legs were already cramping but I pushed through that pain to find the love of my life laying in a field of nemophila, his wrists slit so terribly blood is all you could see. Flowing from his wrists to drip onto the plants under him, it was so red and gory I stopped breathing, running over to him to begin screaming while on the phone with one of his best friends. Johnny knew something was wrong, his voice got further away as he told Mark to call someone. To call 911, to get help.

In Jaehyun's hand was a a razor blade and I grabbed it, throwing the wretched thing far from us. I kept shaking him and screaming at him to get up. Nothing worked. Around his neck was the cloud necklace, and despite the horror I could see, he looked extremely peaceful, his eyes shut permanently. My Jaehyun was gone, and he'd died where he loved, but he'd felt so unloved to come to this place.

I'd never enjoy bright sunny days or museums again. I couldn't, not when I couldn't see Jaehyun's dimples or hold his warm hand. As much as he wanted to burn, he'd left the world cold. The sun still shined so brightly down on us as if nothing had ever happened in this place.

🌹

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Nancy is fun but she is so sad Buster: The fact that you're calling her fun, even if you retract it, shows me how gone you are Rio: How gone she is Rio: but she's home safe Buster: Well, cheers Buster: We all know she shouldn't drink. Can't like Rio: Not really a case of being good or bad Rio: not when needs must Rio: don't reckon my experience sneaking saved her from your 'rents but doubt they'll kick her whilst she's down, like Buster: They'll get over it Buster: Hardly the first or worst sin Rio: Ain't them I'm worried about tbh Buster: Be weird if you were, like Rio: What else is new Rio: Weirdo Buster: Shhh Rio: You love it Rio: what are you doing Buster: Talking to you now Buster: Telling you to drink some water Rio: I ain't the amateur Buster: Me either Buster: So listen to me Rio: You got anything worth saying tonight? Buster: Depends on what you wanna hear, babe Rio: How you been Buster: Standard Rio: Christ Buster: What do you want me to say? Buster: That I feel like shit? Is that better Rio: Least it's making conversation Rio: was hoping for better but you know take what I can get at this point Buster: Babe Rio: Forget about it Rio: talk to your sister Rio: not now Rio: but do it Buster: So what you're just gonna go back to telling me what to do like you never stopped? Rio: Yeah Rio: and what Rio: I'm right Buster: How are you right? Buster: What the fuck is trying to talk to Nance gonna do? Rio: For starters you can tell her you don't hate her Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Why would I do that? Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: cos that's what she reckons Rio: and i figure you want to put a stop to that no Buster: She doesn't reckon that Rio: Yeah Rio: she does Buster: Shut up Buster: She's just being dramatic. I can't blame her for that one Rio: You did fuck her bully Buster: Behave Buster: They were friends and they fell out and things got out of hand, like Buster: You don't have to join her in being dramatic Rio: Give me strength Rio: this is why you two need to talk Rio: not how it was like, remotely, not for her Buster: Leave it alone Rio: Whatever Buster: Not whatever. It's bullshit and the past and I'm asking you to Rio: Isn't going to make the problem go away Rio: but sure thing Buster: Yeah well it's my problem and she's my sister Buster: Not yours Rio: Yeah well act like it then Buster: What 'cause I'm not mothering and smothering, I ain't Buster: That's your way not the only way Rio: How's yours working for you? Buster: It's none of your business Buster: Act like it Rio: Is when I have to console your sister 'cos of the shit you've done Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: Was she begging you? No Buster: You put yourself in the middle of it 'cause that's where you wanna be Rio: Alright then, I wanted to 'cos I'm not a massive cunt Rio: Don't lash out at me 'cos you're angry at yourself and feeling sorry Buster: You wanted to 'cause anything not to deal with your own shit and how you feel Rio: My shit really ain't no concern of yours Buster: If that's how you want it Rio: Yeah Rio: keep telling yourself this is all how I want it Rio: not how you've got it Buster: It is how you want it though, babe Buster: We're stopped talking 'cause you wanted space and we're talking now 'cause you wanna have a go at me Buster: None of my choice in it Rio: Sure Rio: You're just a blameless angel who deserves none of this Rio: My bad Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I know what I did and if you wanna punish me forever you can, but I'm not gonna pretend that's how I want things to be Rio: Yeah 'cos I'm loving this Buster: I never said you are Buster: But you're doing it Rio: It's a reaction Rio: there's no want about it Rio: it is what it is Rio: deal with it Rio: i'm trying Buster: I'm here, aren't I? Buster: I am dealing with it Rio: Good Rio: I'm glad Buster: You should be 'cause if I wasn't dealing I'd be at your door Rio: that meant to make me feel better Buster: Yeah Rio: Fucking hell Rio: you're so clueless Buster: Fuck that Buster: I am not Rio: You are Rio: completely clueless Buster: I'm not having that Rio: Well I'm out here spitting nothing but truth and wisdom and you ain't having that either Rio: whaddya want me to do boy Buster: You wish, babe Buster: Truth maybe, but hardly life lessons Rio: Please Rio: just 'cos you don't wanna hear it Buster: No I don't Buster: I've got enough bullshit in between my ears without you adding to it Rio: If you fucking talk about it Rio: it'll clear some space Rio: 'nother hot tip Buster: Sure, I'll get Granddad to stick the kettle on so I can pop round and spit some truth at him Buster: Fuck that Rio: Priorities Rio: he's fine without your chat Rio: you know who you gotta chat to pussy Buster: Fuck you Buster: Just drop it Rio: Good luck you trying that approach yourself Buster: Go to bed, Rio Buster: You've done your good deed for the night already Rio: Shut up Rio: I'm not tired you wish Buster: I will if you will Buster: Like you said, it's a reaction Buster: Shut up to shut me up Rio: Nah Buster: Then get new chat Buster: You're wasting your time saying it Rio: idc Rio: slow night Buster: At least you can't blame me for that as well Buster: Wrong twin, like Rio: I told you she's a laugh Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I get it Rio: she ain't your biggest fan either, like Rio: which was fun, btw, fuck you Buster: Fun you decided to have Buster: I didn't twist your arm Buster: I didn't even know you were out so don't start on me Rio: it ain't a decision how many times Rio: i can't just ignore her when she's hurt like Rio: not got the distance Buster: You don't have to seek it out Buster: Not like you live with her Buster: Or go to school with her either Rio: She's family Rio: don't fool me Buster: So what? Buster: She's stuck with me, I don't have to make it worse for her by showing up and vice versa Rio: Impressive you've got it in you to do worse Buster: Cheers Rio: Very welcome Buster: Are mum and dad there still? Rio: Last I checked, yeah Rio: why Buster: 'Cause you said Nance was home Buster: You know her track record when she's had a few Rio: Yeah, they were there then Rio: she's fine Buster: Alright Rio: Yep, told you, not fooled Rio: leave you to your evening now though Buster: Fine Buster: Drink that water though Rio: Lame Rio: we're going on to another club Rio: or party idk Buster: Don't they have taps that far into the 24? Buster: Still doable Rio: Boring Rio: what can i get you darling Rio: oh a tap water Rio: sexy Buster: like you couldn't make it sexy Buster: come on Buster: try harder, babe Rio: fuck off Rio: need all the help i can get Buster: No you don't Rio: do tonight Buster: I'm not buying it Rio: good thing i ain't trying to get you to buy rn then Buster: Yeah Buster: Sure you'll still be a hit wherever you end up Buster: It's only the 24 after all Rio: Right? Rio: Always got Ryan to hit up when it gets real desperate ay Buster: That's not funny Rio: Neither are you Buster: I'm not trying to be Buster: If you're not fooled I'm not gonna bother playing the fool for you, am I Rio: Just a dick then? Rio: Fun Buster: Complain all you want now but you had your fun with that when it suited you Rio: Heaven forbid anyone ever calls you out on your shit Buster: You've been there and done it Buster: It's the same old shit Buster: Sorry to disappoint but I haven't actually fucked up again yet since we spoke last Rio: Sorry I ain't impressed when you're doing fuck all to sort what you did last Buster: Says you Rio: Sort of given yourself away Rio: even if Nance hadn't told me Rio: but go off Buster: What's a give away is that the only way to sort things between me and her is to leave each other alone Rio: Ignore the problem and hope it goes away Rio: especially if its her who does it right, you can feel left all over again Rio: brilliant Buster: Fuck you Rio: You could do better Rio: you both could Buster: So could everyone Buster: That's life Buster: I'm not gonna pick at wounds until they open up over and over again and pretend I'm fixing things Rio: What happened to the best? Rio: And I need to try harder Buster: You can always do better Buster: Truth and wisdom, babe Rio: You might be clueless but don't act like you're fucking hopeless and helpless too Buster: I ain't Rio: Of course not Buster: You want me to apologize for my high standards now? Rio: What standards? Rio: The ones you hold yourself to or your conquests, either way Rio: hardly aspirational Buster: Hilarious Buster: Well done on keeping it fun, like Rio: Like you said Rio: weren't complaining were you Buster: I'm still not Buster: You're the one dead set on it Rio: That's all you've done this entire conversation don't lie Buster: How do you work that out? Rio: Slow night or not Rio: don't need to sit here and pick out all the best insults Buster: Then don't Rio: Shame for your work to go to waste Rio: but there it is, no doubt i'll remember 'em still though Buster: Good luck with that Buster: All the best, like Rio: Piss off Rio: not above a reread anyway Buster: More fool you Rio: make it easier to keep ignoring you Buster: Like I said, good luck etc Rio: I hate you Buster: Understandable Buster: Stick with Nance, you're in good company there Rio: why don't you care Buster: I do Rio: then fucking show it Buster: I am Rio: if i can't tell Rio: and she can't tell Rio: then it isn't working is it Buster: You can tell Buster: And she doesn't want to Rio: you both just want it on your terms and won't budge an inch Buster: Yeah well Buster: Like you said, it is what it is Rio: For God's sake Rio: Buster Buster: What? Rio: Just.. why is everything fucked Buster: 'Cause of me Buster: It's that simple, like it or not Rio: No Rio: if only Buster: Yes. I fucked it. You didn't and Nance didn't Rio: Nah Rio: She's fancied her, loved her, whatever for years Rio: and same here so Rio: not like we didn't play our parts Rio: and its everyone Rio: all the time Rio: its all fucked Buster: You reckon? Rio: Yeah Buster: Then why bother. With any of it Buster: You still do though Rio: Someone has to Rio: What's the alternative? Rio: Be like Drew Buster: If it's all fucked anyway then why does someone have to? Buster: Why does it have to be you? Buster: It's cause you know it isn't Buster: Not everything and not all the time Rio: Just hoping to get into heaven still Rio: loves a trier, remember Buster: At least when you do you won't have to put up with me any more Buster: Worth it for that, yeah? Rio: Shut up Rio: stupid Buster: Not all the time Rio: Don't say things like that Buster: Like what? Rio: About you being gone Rio: 'less you really want me to have a panic attack in this car, like Buster: Babe Buster: Come on Rio: I mean it Rio: not even jokes Buster: Okay calm down Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Hmm Rio: better be Buster: I don't say things I don't mean, remember Rio: even the horrible things Buster: I mean them when I say them Buster: My anger does Buster: but Rio: Yeah Rio: it's alright Rio: least you're honest Buster: It's not really alright Buster: But bit late to try and change my ways now, like Rio: Dramatic Rio: not even 18 Rio: you won't be this twat for life, babe Rio: don't worry Buster: You've met my parents Buster: You can't say that with any certainty Rio: Rude Rio: and maybe they were even worse before Rio: shock horror Buster: Now that's funny Buster: I knew you were capable Buster: Sometimes Rio: Just gotta stop taking yourself so serious, McKenna Rio: trust Buster: Says you Buster: I saw your snaps, serious business trying to straighten my sister out Rio: 😂 Rio: there goes my conversion camp idea Buster: I don't reckon she'll be your poster child, nah Buster: But don't give up Buster: Plenty of gays in Dublin Rio: Spread the good word Rio: thank god we've left the gay club Rio: that's a bit brazen, even for me Buster: 😂 Buster: Your t-shirt slogan taking on a homophobic meaning like Buster: Even me, massive hero I always am, would struggle to save you there Rio: 😏 Catch me getting disowned forreal for that one Buster: Same Rio: Hoping you wouldn't see that snap though Rio: spot on with try harder but like 😬 Buster: Shut up Buster: You know you look good Rio: Ha Rio: only got Nance's skills with the 📷 to thank for that then Buster: Bullshit Buster: You look beautiful like always Rio: Now you can go to bed Rio: Your gentlemanly act outta the way too Buster: shh Buster: I'm being real Rio: Shh Buster: I don't want to Rio: If it's any consolation, I don't want you to either Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: You should go Rio: Right Rio: 'course Buster: Go have fun now you've ditched my boring sister, like Rio: Idiot Buster: I'm serious Buster: Lightweight and dead weight on a night out Rio: Want me to do you the favour of pretending you've got a clue? Buster: Don't do me any Rio: Yeah right Rio: If I was really in the business of doing you favours, I wouldn't be replying so Buster: And I'm the one who hasn't got a clue, yeah? Rio: Yep Rio: Getting tragic, honestly Buster: Fuck off, honestly Rio: See? Rio: You want it so bad Buster: Shut up Rio: Make me Buster: You wish Rio: 'Course Buster: Get a clue, kid Rio: Ain't sharing with you if I do Buster: Very mature and polite Rio: Never too late to change, babe Buster: If you say so Buster: Still a know it all, obviously Buster: That ain't changing any time soon then? Rio: Can't unknow shit Rio: Better or worse, like Buster: Good Buster: Pretty shit being clueless, not that I'd know, like Rio: You reckon? Rio: Ignorance is bliss, supposedly Buster: I don't buy it Buster: Happiness is expensive and how many idiots do you know with plenty of cash Rio: Can name a few, honestly Rio: but that's pure 🍀 Buster: Exactly Buster: And they know it so not so stupid, at least not entirely Rio: Would be the first time you've been on his side Buster: What? Rio: Talking about Drew, obviously Rio: he's made quite the life out of being an idiot Buster: Firstly, I thought you loved him again now Buster: and secondly, not that much of an idiot given he's still standing Buster: It's everyone else who gets hurt not him Buster: Some would call that a smart move Rio: Can still think, fuck it, KNOW, he's dumb Rio: people who don't know how sad and fucked up he is, maybe Buster: Yeah Buster: So most people, 'cause who's in his inner circle Buster: Nobody Rio: And why would you care what they think if they ain't even good enough to be in your circle? Rio: Irrelevant Buster: Exactly Rio: Are we agreeing now or what? Rio: I don't think that's allowed Buster: No takebacks Rio: Wow, coming for my gig being childish too Buster: It's a time for firsts, obviously Rio: Hmm Rio: Don't know if that's a bad or good thing Buster: Well, since we were being childish I was gonna ask if you wanna play truth or dare but fine Buster: It's a no from you Rio: Nuuh Rio: I wanna play Buster: Alright Buster: Truth or dare, babe? Rio: Truth Buster: Are you gonna drink your water or not? Buster: I'm invested here Rio: 😂 Rio: 'Course, this skin routine's worth shit if I don't get my 8 glasses Buster: Well that's a relief Buster: I'll be able to sleep easy tonight now Rio: You're ridiculous but it's your turn Buster: So ask me Rio: Truth or dare? Buster: Dare obviously Buster: Not an amateur Rio: Neither am I, for the record Rio: Hmm Buster: 'Course not, babe Buster: Such a pro Rio: I dare you to talk to your sister Buster: Seriously? Rio: Yeah, deadly, like Buster: Fine Buster: [sends a pic of the text so she knows he sent it] Rio: 👍 Rio: Impressive Buster: Don't act like I ain't always Buster: Which one do you want then? Rio: I'm picking dare so I don't have to confirm or deny the above Buster: Where are you first before I decide Rio: It was a house party in the end Buster: I dare you to go up to someone and tell them how you feel about me Rio: I don't know how you want me to document that bar sending you a picture of their utter confusion and horror but Rio: okay Buster: You'll figure it out Rio: [Sends video of random saying hi Buster] Rio: There Buster: For that you'll get a truth from me Rio: Okay Rio: Are you having a good night? Buster: I wasn't but now I am Rio: Good Rio: Truth me Buster: Why did you really go out tonight? Rio: Was a lot to cheer Nancy up, and she asked so, couldn't say no Rio: but being able to get wasted and not be alone is an obvious bonus Buster: Babe you're not alone Rio: A bit Rio: feels like it in comparison anyway, yeah? Buster: You don't have to be wasted to talk to me Buster: You know that, yeah? Buster: I'm still here for you, whatever Rio: At least I have an excuse then Rio: rather than just wanting to Buster: You never need an excuse with me Buster: You're not the one who did anything wrong Rio: But I'm doing it all wrong if I just forgive you, aren't I Buster: If it feels wrong to you, yeah Buster: But if not, I always wanna talk to you Rio: It feels wrong not talking to you Buster: Then talk to me Buster: Even if all you wanna say is something annoying Rio: Ha Rio: You've got that covered, babe Buster: Rude Buster: I was gonna say give me another truth but if you don't wanna hear it Rio: Okay okay Rio: one last one 'cos everyone's getting annoyed with me Rio: Do you still want to be with me? Buster: Yeah Buster: It's all I want Rio: Okay Rio: Now I know Buster: Did you honestly not know that I'd get on a plane in a second if you told me that's what you wanted? Rio: Hey, I didn't pick Buster: I know but you have to know that, Rio Rio: I do Rio: but I know you've got to focus so I can't tell you that Rio: it wouldn't be fair Buster: No it wouldn't be fair 'cause I'm sober and you're not Buster: And if I did come and see you I wouldn't want you to feel bad about it Rio: Babe Buster: Just tell me you want me tomorrow if you still do Rio: I will Rio: don't think I don't if I don't, alright? Buster: It's like you always said, I won't hold you to shit you say right now Buster: Except the truths, of course Rio: I said some mean things didn't I Buster: It doesn't matter Rio: It does Rio: I'm sorry Buster: Don't Buster: I've said and done worse to you Rio: Doesn't mean I get a free pass to do the same Rio: or does it 'cos might need to cash that in I can feel the regret already Buster: I think it means exactly that Buster: At least Rio: Good stuff Rio: I don't wanna go Buster: You can stay Rio: What you gonna stay with me 'til I fall asleep like before Buster: Yeah Buster: If you want me to Rio: I really do Buster: Tell me when you're home Buster: I'll call you Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too