#please please expand this post I need you to see the 6-Headed Shark Attack gif

[microsuedemouse]

can you please explain spielberg’s master plan 👀

hello I somehow didn't see this ask until today I'm sorry!!

okay so. context. my younger brother absolutely loves terrible Syfy original movies, and others in that vein. bad creature features especially. he has watched literally like three quarters of them, iirc. you've heard of the big ones like Lavalantula and the Sharknado franchise, but there's so much more than that.

he also has some health problems that affect his metabolism and weight, and he struggles to keep his weight above a certain minimum threshold. when his weight gets too low, which also makes him feel generally pretty unwell, he’ll typically spend a few days doing basically Nothing but watching movies and eating as much as he can.

so anyway. a few years ago he was in the midst of one of those binges, and decided to catch up on some of the more recent Bad Shark Movies. for some reason, I sat down to join him, and we had one hell of a time. we also had this interaction, which I immortalized on twitter, because I tweet a lot about both my family’s nonsense and whatever I’m watching.

[transcription: a tweet from myself, @/MicrosuedeMouse, at 3:51 pm on 2020-11-16. it reads:

Corwin is having a Bad Shark Movies day, and we were browsing the suggestions after watching Five-Headed Shark Attack-

me: “do you think Spielberg knew what he was doing when he made Jaws? could he have anticipated this?”

Corwin: “this is all part of Spielberg’s Master Plan”]

we went on later to watch the fifth Sharknado movie, which is one of the most unhinged films ever made, I think. HOWEVER. I loved the phrase “Spielberg’s Master Plan” way too much, and it soon became a shorthand term amongst us and our other sibling for the broader canon of Shark Movies. every single sharksploitation film ever made is part of Spielberg’s Master Plan.

as an aside, we watched 6-Headed Shark Attack roughly five months later, and it is an absolutely galaxy-brained movie. I couldn’t explain it to you if I tried, but I HAVE had this gif saved to my phone ever since. there is rarely ever cause to use it, but I’m obsessed with it all the same. the scene it’s from permanently altered my life.

(you may notice it only has four heads. don’t worry. the fifth and sixth heads show up later.)

🦈🦈🦈