#please imagine this sung in the gruffest most macho middle-aged action hero voice possible
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The Twelve Labours of Heracles
In my first year of penance my cousin set for me
A lion with invulnerability
In my second year of penance my cousin set for me
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my third year of penance my cousin set for me
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my fourth year of penance my cousin set for me
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my fifth year of penance my cousin set for me
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my sixth year of penance my cousin set for me
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my seventh year of penance my cousin set for me
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my eighth year of penance my cousin set for me
Horses that eat people
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my ninth year of penance my cousin set for me
The Amazon queen’s belt
Horses that eat people
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my tenth year of penance my cousin set for me
The cows of a giant
The Amazon queen’s belt
Horses that eat people
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my eleventh year of penance my cousin set for me
Dragon-protected apples
The cows of a giant
The Amazon queen’s belt
Horses that eat people
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
In my twelfth year of penance my cousin set for me
The Underworld’s guard dog
Dragon-protected apples
The cows of a giant
The Amazon queen’s belt
Horses that eat people
A havoc-wreaking bull
A fearsome flock of birds
VAST AMOUNTS OF SHIT
A huge raging boar
A deer with super speed
A many-headed Hydra
And a lion with invulnerability
#please imagine this sung in the gruffest most macho middle-aged action hero voice possible#that is also increasingly weary and bitter#he just misses his wife and kids#and understandably wants to murder his cousin#and stepmother who is unfortunately the untouchable godess protecting her cousin#he’s Tired#heracles#hercules#greek mythology#the twelve days of christmas#song parody
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