#please im geniunely curious about some of these flavors

[analexthatexists]

Witches' Guide to Baking Cookies 101

Gather everything you need to make the starting batter

Once the batter is done, add your special ingredient to make your Cookie unique, some common ingredients us Witches like using include:

Fresh strawberries

Dark chocolate

Vanilla

Custard

Avocados, carrots, onions, any vegetables you'd like!

Caramel

Gumballs

Hot sauce

The most diabolical brand of carbonated soda you can find

Fermented grapes from a musty old barrel in case you want your Cookies to make you tipsy

Edible glitter

Non-edible cotton

Some coral from the closest coral reef, for crunchiness of course

While you're at the ocean, grab a jellyfish or some oysters, because those work well in cookies

Pancakes

Blueberry pie

Crepes

What's that? Why not just make a separate dessert instead of baking all that into a Cookie? You don't ask questions around here, Gertrude, you bake Cookies and play God.

Clovers

Mala sauce

Blackberries

Famous BTS members

Cheese

Cherries

Sonic The Hedgehog

Burnt cheese, because you're terrible at time management.

Cosmic stardust from a galaxy far far away, for texture of course

Yams

Pomegranates

Licorice, because you're a tasteless monster, what is wrong with you, that's not supposed to go in a Cookie, GERTRUDE. You've been baking cookies for as long as you've had that stupid wart on your nose and you choose to add LICORICE into your COOKIE BATTER. Someone's meant to EAT THESE COOKIES, you know, and you put LICORICE in the cookies. You're going to disappoint the unfortunate soul you deliver these cookies to, and you can't say a thing about it because YOU chose to add the LICORICE into the cookies. This is why you can't find love, Gertrude. This is why the Cookies we bake find love faster than you ever could. I hope that sinks in.

Espresso

Mint

Chocolate

Mint chocolate, oh how bold of you.

Squid ink

Lemons

Sawdust from a Christmas tree, because you saw that Food Theory video about Mat Pat eating his Christmas Tree and/or the video about Rice Krispies and sawdust and wanted to try it out for yourself

Pinecones from the forest

Wolf hair from the forest, for taste of course

Prune juice, because you're old

Every spice known to man, because surely your brittle bones can handle Scoville levels higher than the gate to Heaven

Bananas

Chocolate bananas, because you wanted to be bold like mint chocolate

Mangos

Red velvet

Milk

Flour

Butter

You're pouring too much flour

Matcha, not to be mistaken with tea

Tea, not to be mistaken with matcha

Why are you adding this much flour to the Cookie

Peppermint

Olives

This isn't even a Cookie anymore, you've made a mess of flour

Macarons

Caviar

There are consequences for your actions, yet you chose to act with discernment. Your sins are piling up, and the flour is the only thing left remaining in your vision that is bright and pure. The descent from here will be known.

Raspberries

Almonds

Chili peppers, because you're daring

Black pepper, because something's genuinely wrong with you

Pitayas, also known as dragon fruit

And of course...

A poisonous and toxic flower, because you wanted to actually kill someone with a Cookie.

And that's the Witches' Guide to Baking Cookies 101. I hope you were able to perfect your batch of cookies with this stunning information. Now if you excuse me, Gertrude is offering me a very lovely looking green and pink cookie, so I'm going to have a quick snack before I pull my Sardine Cookies out of the oven.

(send this to someone who doesn't know a thing about cookie run kingdom /nf)