#please im desperate to add more songs

[bruisekiid]

you want to give me your griddlehark playlists!! you want to give me your locked tomb playlists and ur gideon playlists and ur harrow playlists!! please...

anyway here's my playlist for the saddest girl in the universe

i had a griddlehark playlist but it's back under construction and my harrow playlist is too unserious

[wewere-here]

it’s cool and all that we got more maps added to Just Dance+, but WHERE ARE TRAVELER & SI’HA NOVA’S MAPS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[wonho-ssi]

[hwasoup]

Tale As Old As Time

Playlist !!

songs to listen along with: the beast, etc..

art credit goes to Marbipa

OMG guys, I literally hat to let this one sit and marinate for a while even though I typed it out like so long ago. AND I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO ADD THE SONGS FOR LAST CHAPTER, DW I DID THOUGH. Ugh and I literally also just found out that i had a textbook for a class, i didn't deep dive into the syllabus. AHHHHH regardless I hope you guys enjoyyy !! our favorite characters have finally met!!

like always tell me if you’d like to be tagged !!

prev | ch.4

warnings: wrongful incarceration, bargaining, yelling, really bad british slang, mexican spanish (im sorry y’all im venezuelan ☠️)

word count: 3.3k

Chapter 3: The Beast

After going through the thick woods, trusting Felipe to take her to where she needs to go…

Y/N makes it deep and far in the woods and stops Felipe from galloping when she spots her father’s wagon. She looks at all of the scattered food, items, and even his invention. In worry, she clutches on Felipe’s reins tightly and directs him to keep on going. After riding Felipe some time, the air gets thicker and fog covers the entirety of the forest. She then notices Felipe starting to trot and make his way down a gravel path. She looks around the dead trees and notices the large gates and the grand castle in front of her. “What is this place…” she says nervously. Felipe then starts nickering and anxiously moving as he didn’t want to go inside the gates. Y/N had to get off to comfort the horse and calm him down. After a few moments, she turns around and peeks inside the gate to see her father’s hat. She opens them and she reaches for the hat and holds it tightly in her hands, her worry now increasing for him. “Come on Felipe, we have to go inside” 

She mounts the horse once more and goes inside the gate, going through the garden until she makes it to the steps of the castle. Y/N then gets off Felipe and carefully goes up the stairs, grabbing a large stick from the stairs as a weapon incase if she needs to defend herself. She then makes it to the top and carefully opens the door. Peering inside she walks in hesitantly, as she looks around. 

“Look Jess…it's a pretty girl” 

“I can see that Miles, I lost my hands.. Not my eyes” 

 Miles then peeks at Jess and whispers “but what if she’s the one who’ll break the spell ?” Y/N turns around confused at the sound of whispering “Who said that ?” She looks around to see nobody except for a candelabra and a clock. She quietly approaches the two of them looking at the inanimate figures confused at what she heard. Her thoughts however were shunned as she could hear her father’s cough from a distance. In her desperateness to find him, she takes the candelabra and goes to look for him. Jess looks at Miles being taken and she simply sighs. 

Y/N follows the sound of coughing to a set of stairs, as she gets closer she then peers into a hall that goes up a tower. She anxiously walks up the stairs as she yells out “PAPA ??” She walks up the stairs faster as the coughing gets louder “ERES TU PAPA ??”  Y/N then gets to the top of the tower and gasps seeing her beloved father inside a dungeon. She throws the stick to one side and places the candelabra on a nearby shelf and places it there. Y/N then gets on her knees as she looks at her father in relief after searching for him “Oh papa, que paso?? what happened to you, your hands are ice cold..” she says holding him tightly through the metal bars. Mauricio looks at her in awe and simply says “how did you even find me ?” 

“That doesn’t matter, we need to get you home !” 

“Y/N please…listen to me it’s not safe here, you must leave at once! This castle is alive !” he says in a whisper, tightly holding onto Y/N’s hands. Y/N looked at him confused until she heard a deep growl echoing in the distance. She grabs her stick once more from the floor and looks around the dungeon. She firmly grips onto the piece of thick wood, as she gains the courage to look around and protect herself and her father. “Who’s there, WHO ARE YOU ?”

“Who Are YOU?” 

The voice of a man echoes throughout the dungeon, his silhouette appearing in the distance. “I’ve come for my father..” Y/N says with determination in her voice. The sound of someone coming down the stairs is heard in the dark dungeon. “Your Father….is a thief”. Enraged, Y/N yelled out “LIAR!” The silhouette has now fully come down the stairs and standing before her, his silhouette still only seen “He stole a rose..” Y/N raises an eyebrow appalled at his words “I asked for the rose, punish me not him !” Mauricio looks at his daughter and shakes his head “No, Y/N don’t… he means forever, apparently that’s what happens around here cuando uno elige una bendita rosa” 

Y/N even more appalled turned to her father and back to the silhouette “A life sentence for a flower ?” A loud roar is heard as it approaches her even more, she steps back a little but not entirely to stand her ground despite the small shivers down her leg. “I received eternal damnation for one” the figure said, the growl in his voice becoming deeper. “Then take me instead” The figure growls and looks away and angrily says “YOU-” his expression then softly changes as he was shocked at how willing she was. “Tú....Tú tomarías su lugar?”

Y/N bites her lip and nods a whimper coming from her lips releases in her voice “If I did…would you let him go ?” The silhouette’s voice became a bit softer but still gruff in its dominant position “Yes, but you must promise to stay here forever” he says. Y/N looks down and blinks thinking of what to do next, she notices there’s a light right between them, separating the two from fully seeing each other. “Come into the light” she demands. The silhouette becomes smaller as she starts to see two large paws, she then looks up to see not a man but a beast with the horns of a goat, a thick mane that covered his entire body and crimson red eyes that peered into hers.  Y/N covers her mouth in shock and turns to her father dropping the stick yet again to hold his hands. “No, Y/N to te puedo permitir que hagas esto” 

Y/N kisses her father’s hands and approaches the Beast, her voice faltering to a whisper “you have my word..” The Beast then growls and opens the door dragging Mauricio out and pushing Y/N in, not even letting the two share a proper departure. He then drags Mauricio all the way out of the castle and throws him inside a carriage “Take him to the village” Mauricio cries out to him “SPARE MY DAUGHTER PLEASE!” The Beast ignores him and growls as he closes the carriage door “She’s no longer your concern…” Mauricio cries out to him to let him out, but The Beast was already walking back inside his castle. 

After a moment, The Beast is seen walking back inside the castle on all fours with an annoyed expression on his face. Miles had already hopped down halfway to meet him. “So, Uh Sir ?” 

“WHAT” the Beast growled out. Miles cowered a bit but then adjusted himself “soo uh since the girl is going to stay with us for quite some time, erm umm” he rubs his other two candles together “I was thinking that y��know you wanted too uhh, bring her to a more comfortable room” he says with a sheepish smile. The Beast growls at him and keeps walking up the stairs ignoring what he said. “Or not” Miles says. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Up in the tower after a week ….

Y/N wept as she whispered comforting words to herself. She thought about all of those times with her father, how he told her that home is where the heart is. But she wasn’t home, she was lonely and locked away. Her face drained as she thought of making the tiny dungeon her home, tears kept on spilling out as she thought about her poor father, all alone with nobody to lean onto in her terrible village.

She then sees a shadow loom over her and notices its The Beast. “You didn’t even let me say goodbye..I’ll never see him again..” her tears taint her cheeks that have been stained from the grime of the dungeon. “I-I’l never..see h-him again..” she says in between sobs. The Beast then looks at Y/N and a bit of guilt plagues his mind. He scratches his head and then considers what Miles told him earlier.. “I’ll show you to your room..” he says softly as he walks out the dungeon. 

“My room? But I thought -” 

“You, YOU wanna stay in the tower ?” 

“No..” she says softly.

 “Then follow me..” The Beast says.

The Beast then guides her out of the tower and back into the castle, taking Miles with him along the way so that he could light up the hallways. As Y/N is escorted, she looks around the castle and its statues and notices how dark and lonely the place seemed to be. Her eyes stare fearfully at a statue of a hideous gargoyle and speeds up to catch up with The Beast. 

The Beast heard her gasp and looked behind to see a single tear falling down her cheek, he looked back in his direction as he felt a bit more guiltier. “You should say something to her y’know” Miles says softly. The Beast nodded and turned to her “I..uhh…I hope you like it here” he looked back at Miles to see if it was ok. Miles then looks at him encouraging him to say a bit more. “The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you would like…except the west wing.” Y/N’s curiosity perks up and she asks “what’s in the west wing ?” He growled out “IT'S FORBIDDEN”. His voice echoed out into the empty halls of the castle. He then takes her to a suite and opens the door for her. “If you need anything…my servants will attend you.” Y/N walks in and looks around the room. She then turns back to him and softly asks “but what’s your name ?” The Beast looks down as he didn’t want to remember his name, as he isn’t human or anything similar to his name. “It’s Miguel..”

Y/N nods as she looks back to the room and looks around. Miles then in a corner of Miguel’s viewpoint whispers “dinner, go invite her to dinner” Miguel nods and he tries to find the best way to speak to her “YOU WILL JOIN ME FOR DINNER…Th-THAT”S NOT A REQUEST” he says gruffly as he slammed the door. Y/N in shock of his words looked back at the closed door and back to the room. Spotting the bed she runs towards it and throws herself onto the pillows and cries her heart out. She hasn’t even realized that it has already started snowing outside signifying the start of winter.

About a couple of hours later, There was a soft knocking on the door. Y/N who was too busy crying hears it and softly says “who is it ?” She then hears a man’s voice “Its, Peter” Y/N approaches the door and quietly opens it and peers outside. She didn’t see anyone until she saw a serving cart with a tea pot and a small cup. “Oh wow you’re very pretty ma’am” he says politely with a smile. “I thought you would like a small cup of tea” Y/N backs up surprised at the sight and bumps into the wardrobe. Hearing a voice from the wardrobe she looks at it in shock “ooh, watch it ‘ere mate” Y/N backs up to her bed and sits down surprised. “B-but, this is impossible!” 

“I know mate, but ‘ere we are. Oh and the name’s Hobie” Y/N looks around in awe and surprise and just sits, processing the whole situation. The little teacup then spoke, “I told you she was pretty daddy!” Peter chuckles and pours some tea into his daughter “alrighty May, go and hand it to her, gently without spilling” Mayday happily hops to Y/N and waits for her to pick her up. “Why… Thank You” Y/N takes it softly. She then takes a sip of the tea and hums softly, enjoying the taste. “Wanna see me do a trick ??” Mayday then giggles as she breathes in and blows bubbles into the tea. She gets scolded quickly by her father though.

Peter chuckles and looks at Y/N. “Y’know, that took guts kid,” Hobie nods and agrees with him “the whole castle’s buzzin ‘bout it.” Y/N sighs in disappointment “but, I’ve lost my father, my dreams, I’ve lost almost everything..” Peter smiles and gives her a warm smile “aww, don’t worry kid, things always turn out better in the end.” Peter then realizes that he’s still supposed to be in the kitchen “oh crap, i forgot i’m supposed to be helping in the kitchen.. Anyways it was lovely meeting you” he says as the serving table wheels away from her room and leaves.

“Well now, let's get somefink good for youse to get dressed for the old geezer ‘ere.” Hobie then opens his drawers and sees some moths fly out “m’bad dovey” He then pulls out a nice dress for her and says “ ‘ere ya go, somefink pretty for you dovey” Y/N looks at the dress and smiles softly “oh, that’s very kind of you Hobie, but i’m not going to dinner” Hobie then shrugs and puts the dress back inside his drawers “aight then, youse definitely gonna make that geezer more laughable” he says. A small pattern is heard walking inside the room, Jess walked in and took a breath. “Come on honey, dinner’s waiting” she says trying to lighten up the mood. 

Down at the dining table however, Miguel is pacing back and forth anxiously waiting for Y/N’s arrival. He then growls annoyed “What’s taking her so long ....I told her to come down…” He then looks at Miles and a smaller candle who’s named Lyla. “aww come on Miguel, you do realize that she’s literally lost her freedom and her dad like last week” Lyla says, stating the obvious. Miles then nods and says “soo uhh, Sir, Haven’t you thought that this girl.. Might be the one who could break the spell ?” MIguel looks up to the two candles “OF COURSE I HAVE..I’M NOT STUPID” Miles then smiles and says “Then you fall in love with her, sheee falls in love with you, and POOF! We’re human! We should be back to normal by midnight !” he says with a confident smile. Peter on the table however, digresses on the situation. “Miles buddy, it's not that easy y’know… these things take time” Miles then frowns and softly says “but, Peter ...the rose is already starting to wilt..” 

Miguel then looks down and sits on all fours and grumbles “Oh, it’s no use..” he runs a paw through his large mane “it's just that she’s just so beautiful, and i’m well.. WELL LOOK AT ME” he says with a snarl. Peter then sighs and looks at Miguel “aww come on Miguel, you have to help her see through all of that” Miguel then growls lowly “I don’t know how” he says as his ears flatten to the sides. Lyla then grins and pitches in “then how about a quick lesson on how to be a gentleman 101: Sit up and try to be kind.” Peter smiles and also shares a few thoughts “oh then don’t forget to give her a sweet smile, come one show me one Migs” Miguel then proceeds to give the most toothiest and quite horrible smile, even Lyla had to step back a little out of surprise. “Now don’t scare her, charm her” Peter says. Miles then blurted out “Oh, OH and impress her with your intelligence!” Miguel looks at all four of them trying to absorb the information, his mind whirling at almost everything that he has to do, that just seemed utterly impossible. The quartet continued to bombard him with a whole bunch of manners until they all said at the same time “and the most important of all, CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!!!” Miguel wipes his face from the small bead of sweat that was forming. 

Then, the sound of a door is heard opening, Miguel looks up in anticipation but is met with only Jess coming inside. “SO, evening everyone..” she says nervously. Miguel then raises an eyebrow “Well ? where is she ?” Jess takes a deep breath in, just knowing how Miguel is definitely going to react “soo, she’s…yea she’s not coming”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAT ??!!!!”

Outraged, Miguel leaves the dining room and runs as quickly as his legs and hind legs could take him, all the way upstairs and into the east wing. Peter yells out “Nononono, WAIT MIGUEL !” 

Miguel manages to outrun them and make it to Y/N’S door and basically smacks it as hard as he could “ I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO COME DOWN FOR DINNER” y/n behind the door responds to him “I’m not coming” she says with a little huff in her voice. Miles, Lyla, Peter, and Jess just facepalm and shake their heads in disappointment. A sigh was even heard from behind Miguel from the huge letdown. “YOU BETTER COME OUT, OR I’M- YO VOY…VOY A ROMPER LA BENDITA PUERTA !”

Miles whistled and just said “so, just a quick suggestion , but uh….that really isn’t the best way to impress a girl..” Jess nods and sighs “Miguel just for once, can you actually just be polite to her?” Miguel gestured to the door “But, she is being so DIFFICULT”  Peter then comes beside him and softly says “gently Miguel, you’re spooking her..” Miguel groans and lowers his tone at the door “Will you come down for dinner ?” he closes his eyes hoping that she would say yes to this tone in his voice. “No!” Y/N says. 

Miguel’s eyes widened and his ears shot up in surprise and he gave a look pointing to the door as he tried to prove his point to the servants. Miles then says “suavemente y gentilmente…” 

Miguel then takes a deep breath and tries again, “It would give me a great pleasure, if you would come out and join me for dinner.” He looks up to the door slightly hoping that she would come out this time…although his temper is starting to boil. 

Jess coughs “COUGH- we say please- COUGH” 

Miguel rolls his eyes and softly says please

Y/N simply says “NO, THANK YOU !” Everyone watching the interaction watches in shock as they know he’s going to blow. 

Miguel then belts out “YOU CAN’T STAY IN THERE FOREVER”. 

Y/N on the other side of the door yells out “QUE SI!”

Miguel snarls and roars out “FINE THEN GO STARVE FOR ALL I CARE PINCHE DESGRACIADA”

He looks down to his servants “IF she doesn’t eat with me, then she doesn’t eat at all” Miguel then growls out and runs off away to his room into the west wing. He opens the door annoyed and just grumbles to himself “I ask nicely but she refuses, like que quiere?? que yo hago? BEG ??” In a flurry of rage, he goes to a table where the enchanted rose is encased in a glass dome. Beside it is his magic mirror that was gifted by the enchantress. Miguel then grabs his magic mirror and looks into it “ensename la niña” 

The mirror then glows a greenish blue color and shows him y/n sitting in bed being comforted by Hobie. “Aww come on Dovie, the old bloke ain't so bad..” Y/N however was sitting in bed dejected and not too convinced. “I don’t want to though...I don’t even want to do anything with him!”  Miguel, shocked, puts down the mirror as he feels that same familiar feeling of hopelessness takes over his mind “who am I fooling…she’ll never see me as anything other than .... than a monster” he says as his voice shakes. He looks at the rose and sees a petal that slowly fell down and wither making the castle shake and crumble a bit.

“It’s hopeless…”

taglist: @cupcakeinat0r , @miguelhugger2099, @mcmiracles, @xxsugarbonesxx,@codenameredkrystalmatrix,@deputy-videogamer,@lxverrings,@miguelzslvtz,@itsameclinicaldepression,,@ricekrisbris,@loser-alert , @thedevax, @uncle-eggy, @m4dyy, @freehentai, @synamonthy, @razertail18, @s0lm1n, @badbishsblog, @faimmm, @opalwitchart,

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Wait For Me (Hadestown)

I hear the walls repeating/The falling of my feet and/It sounds like drumming/And I am not alone/I hear the rocks and stones/Echoing my song/I'm coming!

"There's hope and longing and need, there's fear and pain and anger. I can't really articulate how this works so well but it really sells Orpheus's journey down in a single song. Also if you've seen an IRL production of hadestown the light work is just amazing."

No Children (The Mountain Goats)

I hope that our few remaining friends/Give up on trying to save us/I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot/To piss off the dumb few that forgave us/I hope the fences we mended/Fall down beneath their own weight/And I hope we hang on past the last exit/I hope it’s already too late

I hope it stays dark forever/I hope the worst isn't over....And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out/You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning/There is no sign of land/You are coming down with me/Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die/I hope we both die

"The song of all time. It's the soundtrack for countless bad vibes ships (affectionate). The phrase 'hand in unlovable hand' has immutably altered the brain chemistry of thousands with its underlying sentiment and launched a hundred accompanying memes. 'I hope you die, I hope we both die' crams such incredible rawness and depth of feeling into all of nine words. It also makes for a great singalong."

"I need to leave. I need to LEAVE. I need to get out of this situation and I'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I need to leave. Please. Let me out. HAND IN UN FUCKING LOVABLE HAND"

"Just. Man. These two are so broken. They want to be in love. They aren't. They hate each other so much. They are the only ones who understand each other. They wish that they weren't so close but all they can taste is ash when they think of leaving each other. Just, mutually assured destruction tastes so sweet when you can taste the blood on their tongue."

"It's No Children."

"goddd man this song is about being an irredeemable freak with another irredeemable freak and i think that's beautiful. there's something so fuck you up ish about the person you hate and despise the most in the world also being the only other person who is like you, who gets you. im going down, but youre going down too. we can be terrible people together... even if i hate you... even if you're the fucking worst. because we don't have anyone else. there's always a sort of comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who's as terrible as you are, and maybe you only hate them because you see yourself in them a little, too. anyway clay and bloberta from moral orel"

"The sheer emotion packed into the way it’s sung, the lyrics themselves, all of it just screams ‘clinging desperately to someone you hate because you don’t have anyone else and you burned those bridges yourself’ and I find that painfully relatable"

"It's a song about both virulent self-hatred and virulent hatred of someone else and yet you see yourself intertwined with that hated person forever."

Poll runner: Do I even have to add anything? This was the tournament's most submitted song.

No Children submitted by @leovaldezdefender + @diogenescynic2288 + many others

[dearest-painter]

Time for a little angst. With all the pressure of being the eldest child of Lucifer and hair to the throne Morningstar!Reader doesn’t really let there own feelings show. They always smile to come off as in control(literally taking Alastor’s advice) but I feel like they’d have a breaking point and just breakdown in private. Lucifer finds them and Suddenly there that little kid again clinging to there dad for comfort. You can’t tell me Lucifer won’t wrap his wings around them and gently sing to them. Morningstar!Reader is so close with there dad that they always go to him for reassurance and comfort.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR3aprTB/

^defiantly the song he’ll sing.(May this please be a one shot? Even if it’s short? If not that’s ok I really enjoy your work!)

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship, pretty fluffy and not Yandere but still Yandere AU, IM SO PROJECTING BECAUSE I NEED SOME FATHER FIGURE TO REPLACE MY BIO BIYCH ASS ONE!!, also very shitty attempts of me changing the lyrics, tell me if I need to add more

Summary: Don’t worry little one, dad has arrived finally :)

Y/N morningstar, eldest child of Lucifer and Lilith, the heir to hell if both parents die. That is what you are, that’s who you are. You are perfect. You have to be perfect. There is nothing you can do to change it, that’s what you have to be. Laying in front of the fireplace, you finally stopped smiling and started to cry. You were sobbing into your favorite stuffed animal while your fluffy blanket was wrapped around you.

You act like a child when you know your completely safe and alone so you could be free yet this is the first time you’ve ever sobbed, not even when you’d get upset during your little…days where you’ll act like a kid you only sniffle and let out a fear tears before stopping. You were sobbing, you didn’t hear the door open.

Lucifer’s eyes widened when he saw you sobbing. He rushed over to you and hugged you. He softly shushed you while you sob into his chest. “Shh” he softly said. You were his little baby right now, not the eldest child, you were a little boy/girl/kid who needed their dad desperately. He knew this. He sat down as he brought you closer to him and rubbed your back.

“Hush little baby don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be alright. I know mommy’s not here right now and we don’t know why. I promise mommy’s gonna be alright. If you ask me then I’ll buy you a mockingbird and buy a Diamond ring for you. If the mockingbird doesn’t sing and if the ring doesn’t shy, imma go back to the jewelry and make them pay me back so you’ll get what you want” he softly sung. You were sniffling now.

“…you suck at singing dad” you mumbled as you chuckled as he dramatically gasped. He was happy you weren’t crying anymore so he’ll take it. “I sing wonderfully!” He replied back as you shook your head in a ‘no’ gesture while you giggled.

[m1ng1ology]

breaking dishes

jaehyun x fem!reader

song : breaking dishes by rihanna

"is he cheating? man, i don't know. i'm looking around for something else to throw. im breaking dishes up in here all night, uh huh."

warnings: angst, throwing glass, yelling, cheating, slight manipulation, toxic relationship mention

wc : 1.2k

synopsis: y/n uncovers a painful truth about her relationship with jaehyun. as emotions escalate, a confrontation ensues, leading to broken trust and broken dishes. despite his attempts to justify his actions, y/n realizes it’s time to let go of a relationship that’s no longer healthy.

the clock on the wall ticked louder than usual, or maybe it was just the pounding in your head. the room was suffocating, filled with the quiet tension that hung in the air between you and him. you sat on the couch, your phone in hand, your eyes burning as you stared at the door. he was late again. your fingers tightened around your phone as the memory of that damn picture flashed in your mind once more. 

“isn’t this jaehyun?” your friend’s message echoed in your head, followed by the image of him at the bar, his arm around her, laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world. you knew. deep down, you knew something had been wrong. the late nights, the excuses that didn’t add up. how he’d flinched when you came close to his phone. how he’d promised that everything was fine when you asked, only to keep pulling away. but seeing it—seeing him with her—was the confirmation. the door clicked open, and you instantly tensed, gripping the couch tighter as he stepped inside, his usual smile plastered on his face. 

“hey, baby,” he said, dropping his bag by the door. his voice was too warm, too familiar, like nothing had happened. you stood up sharply, fury building in your chest. 

“don’t ‘hey baby’ me, jaehyun.” he looked at you, clearly confused. 

“what’s wrong?” he asked, but you could hear the unease creeping into his voice now.

you didn’t answer right away, the words catching in your throat. you were trying to calm down, trying to keep control, but it was all too much. how could he do this?

 “why were you at the bar with her, huh?” you finally spat, your voice trembling with anger. “you think i wouldn’t find out?” his eyes widened.

 “what are you talking about?” he stepped toward you, but you stepped back, heart racing in your chest. “baby, please. listen to me, it’s not what you think.” you scoffed, grabbing your phone and shoving it in his face.  “don’t even try to lie to me, jaehyun. I saw the picture. I saw everything.” he paused, his face faltering for just a moment before he reached out, trying to take the phone from your hand.

“y/n, it’s not what you think. you know how the media blows things out of proportion. that picture doesn’t mean anything.”

“doesn’t mean anything?” you laughed bitterly, shoving the phone back into your pocket. “don’t insult me like that. i’m not stupid.” he sighed, clearly irritated now, but his voice softened in a way that almost felt manipulative.

“come on, y/n. don’t do this. you know it was just a moment. just one night. it doesn’t mean anything. you mean everything to me.” the words stung, but they were designed to make you doubt yourself, to make you second guess everything you knew.

“it doesn’t mean anything?” you echoed, shaking your head in disbelief. “you’ve been lying to me for months, jaehyun. i’ve known something was off. and now you’re telling me this was just a ‘moment’? just one mistake?” he stepped closer, his eyes filled with desperation.

“y/n, listen to me. you’re the one I love. I always come home to you, don’t I? I always come back to you. please, don’t do this.” the tears that had been threatening to spill finally broke free as your voice wavered.

“yeah, you come back home, but you don’t come back to me, do you? not really. not the way I need you to. he was right there now, his hands on your shoulders, his fingers lightly caressing your skin.

“baby, it was a mistake. but you and me? we’re real, okay? you know that. i would never want to hurt you.” his voice was a soft whisper, and for a moment, it almost felt like he was telling the truth. but then, in that fragile moment, you saw the flicker of guilt in his eyes—a flicker quickly masked by his practiced smile. “i didn’t want to hurt you, y/n,” he said again, and his voice lowered to a pleading tone. “but you’ve been so distant lately. we’ve been growing apart, and I didn’t know what to do. i was just trying to feel… something.” his words hit like a slap, but there was something more behind them—manipulation. guilt-tripping you into thinking this was your fault. you shook your head, backing away from him.

“you think this is my fault? you really think i pushed you into someone else’s arms?” he reached out again, grabbing your wrist to stop you from walking away.

“y/n, stop. i didn’t mean it like that.” his grip tightened. “i’m sorry, okay? but don’t make this worse than it is. we’re not done. you and me, we can fix this. we just need to try harder.” you wrenched your wrist free, taking a step back.

“fix this? how do you plan to fix this, jaehyun? you can’t just throw a couple of apologies at me and make everything better. you ruined it. you ruined us.” he frowned, his brow furrowing in frustration.

“god, y/n, don’t act like this. you think I don’t care? you think I don’t feel bad? this is hard for me too. you’ve been pulling away, not giving me what I need, and I was looking for something...anything...to feel alive again.”

“so you thought cheating was the answer?” you snapped, your voice trembling with disgust. “you think that was the answer to your problems?” he took a step closer, his voice low, almost pleading now.

“y/n, please. don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I made a mistake, but I love you. don’t throw that away because of one stupid mistake. you’re everything to me. I don’t want to lose you.” but it was too late. the damage had been done. the weight of his betrayal pressed down on you, and no amount of empty promises would undo it. you didn’t want to hear it anymore. without warning, you grabbed a nearby plate and hurled it at the wall, the crash of glass sending a shock through the room.

“i’m not your fucking doormat, jaehyun,” you screamed, your voice cracking. “don’t think for a second I’ll just take you back after everything you’ve done. you don’t get to destroy me and beg for forgiveness like it’s that easy.” his face twisted in guilt, his hands raised defensively.

“y/n, please! i’m sorry. I never wanted this to happen. i just—” but you didn’t care anymore. you grabbed another dish and slammed it onto the ground, shattering it in pieces.

“i’m done,” you spat, every word heavy with fury. “just get out. get out of my house. i don’t ever want to see you again.”

“y/n, don’t—” he began, but you cut him off, your voice cold and resolute.

“leave, jaehyun. now.” you could see the way he was struggling to stay calm, to hold onto the illusion that he could still fix things. but you weren’t buying it. not anymore. he looked like he might say something more, but he didn’t. with a frustrated growl, he stormed toward the door, but not before glancing back at you one last time.

“i love you, y/n. don’t forget that.” you didn’t answer. you couldn’t. as the door slammed shut behind him, the silence felt heavier than ever.

[tsukasalover]

wxs song wishlist!1!1! dont take this too seriously

(i may elaborate on these in the future though. who knows. )

slowmotion - fullgroup. maybe js emunene though idk

ultimate senpai - tsukasa (+ could add emu and miku Im not fully sure about miku but. Please this song means everything to me We need even more pinop songs in game. because i said so)

dream eating monochrome baku - ruikasa. add on 3dmv (Or 2dmv thats fine) and MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!

jitterbug - ruikasa (this might be much less likely. i dont expect them to cover it)

popipo - full group. A 3dmv would be quite beautiful. I can already imagine the look on ruis face

chubyou gekihatsu boy - ruikasa (a 2dmv for this would be funny. i want to see tsukasa do one of the weird ass poses)

positive club vs negative club - nenekasa

ohedo julia night - emurui

this fucked up wonderful world exists for me - i can handle another full group if they cover this 🫡

iya iya iya - emurui ? i wouldnt mind full group or len & rin being in the cover too but i just Really want wxs to cover it. 

nee nee nee - ruinene (still thinking abt this one. id be fine with vs only if it gets added but idk)

death shall not have taken thee - emukasa

isnt it “a” - nenekasa (im reaching and desperate)

role-playing game - FULL GROUP PLEASE!!!! IVE WANTED THIS AND ULTIMATE SENPAI IN GAME FOREVER Im desperate…��.

apple dot com - emurui 

baka tsuushin - ruinene

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO im also chronically online this is a safe space for the chronically online dw (i also respond at chronically online speeds sooo) but FR THE UNHOLY TRINITY LMAOO if we add Raichi it’s the four horsemen of the apocalypse (bro has never played anything other than defense though and we like. NEVER see him touch the ball basically so uh sorry bro no sexy soccer time yet)

Honestly I don’t know why more people can’t just let people exist?? Like fr just leave them alone and live your life why make it so miserable for everyone sheesh…also please those twelve year olds on tiktok can’t even tie their shoe laces nor should they be on tiktok learning “potty mouth phrases” LMAO I think they need a reality check DESPERATELY

Never apologize for writing too much Karasu.

But LMAOO OK IM GLAD HAHA so real for that I can’t do what Reo or Barou do for him like I will not be the Anri to your Ego!!! Please put your socks in the laundry!!!! But this isn’t irl so he’ll still be a squishy bear to me

LMAO REALLL side character supremacy >>> Honestly I didn’t hate the animation either although I did notice some funky scenes it wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone made it seem…I’m glad to hear that they’re putting their eightbitussy into it though

He’s so captain it’s literally insane (quick we gotta talk more about this and manifest Karasu captain for u20 World Cup) Aiku honestly a good option too (I wanna see my man in action though) if it’s Isagi I’ll lowk riot

BESIDES AN EROTIC LEFT LEG GOODBYE that made me snort as I read this

I LOVE READING THE REFERENCES LMAOOO if they fit into the story keep them coming!!! (KARASU DROWNING SHDGSHSH IM NOT READY)

Ok yeah I also kinda ballparked that amount in my mind LMAO I forgot to mention this more in my last response but the ON SALE THING >>>> I laughed it was so goofy too like she caught him red handed THE NEXT DAY like bro those were NOT on sale…$50 for advice boy you’re not slick

Chefs kiss mc written wonderfully WITHOUT the typical overly used cliches as much as I love a stupid mc sometimes it’s quite an overused trope I feel where it’s the teehee dummy reader so again, this was refreshing LOL (I always love how you give your y/ns substance as characters and like humans..?? Like they all feel like actual people and aren’t your just your average w*ttp*d UwU MCs…I mean writers have to start somewhere so maybe I should stop bashing them like this but uh)

Honestly it’s such an interesting language which is why it takes me a bit to translate/transcribe sometimes because I can’t capture the underlying meanings or emotions as well in English LMAOO (the first time I tried was the hiori light novel and finding the correct phrasing was definitely a learning curve LOL) but omg slay you’re outperforming people living in the motherland!! That’s honestly really impressive, do you get to speak it frequently?

Snuffy’s backstory is actually so sad I can’t :(( also the SONG CHOICE??? Bye. But this is why I can’t even say “no one dies in soccer anymore” man

NO FR you know it’s bad when I’m impressed by a healthy family in bllk shdshhs HAHA FAIR TRADE INDEED o7 I have chapter 2 ready it was longer than I expected but I sped up the process using dictation as I read it LMAOAO so again if you catch any typos or weird punctuation lmk LOL (when I tell you I almost died dictating this I LAUGHED and reacted like omfg and it caught me saying that and wrote it down but ANGWAYS I’m not sure anything is beating this chapter) I know I said summary earlier but I don’t think I’m capable of doing that LMAOA so this is basically just the entire chapter I just reformatted it in a kinda summary like format because I don’t wanna keep pausing to type so many quotation marks HAHAHA anyways enjoy! I’ll come back to discuss after you read it so I don’t spoil anything yet hehe

Signing off early so it doesn’t weirdly attach to the end of the LN section LOL

-Karasu anon

2-Honor Student:

In elementary school, Kenyu was an honor student. Although he was a little cowardly, he was first and foremost, a kind, hard-working kid. he always did his homework and happily greeted everyone. Got along well with his peers and never fought. He was someone that both his classmates and teachers could rely on. When it was time to choose class president, Tomoda nominated him, and everyone joined in agreeing to nominating Kenyu. But after half a year, something shocking had occurred.

Little by little Kenyu had become better friends with his seatmate Tomoda, frequently going to his house after school. Tomoda had a kind sister three years their senior. She would often give them candy and play games with them. One day, Kenyu had gone over to play with Tomoda, to be told by his older sister that he hadn’t gotten home yet and was possibly taking a detour. She told Kenyu to go ahead and wait upstairs for him, but he wondered if maybe he was meeting with other friends in the park. He wondered if he too should go to the park, but it’d be troublesome if he had assumed incorrectly. While he was lost in his thoughts, Tomoda’s sister suddenly came up to him and brushed away his bangs. His hair had always been soft, and his mom had always helped him style it, so the Tomoda’s sister had always complemented him, saying his hair made him look so handsome like a model. It wasn’t unusual for her to touch his hair, but that wasn’t all that happened that day. In addition, she kissed his forehead. His eyes widened as his brain was left short-circuiting. “Huh?”

“My beloved Kenyu, let’s play together” she had said with sparkling eyes. Kenyu could feel his heart racing. “…I’ve gotta go to the park..!” His face turned bright red and he ran out. He didn’t end up, going to the park, but instead of ran back home to his room, waiting for his racing heart to still.

“My beloved Kenyu” He had repeated her words in his mind. he didn’t really understand it all, but he was happy that she said she liked him. He was a bit embarrassed, though that she had kissed him. He thought himself, “I’m never telling anyone about this.”

The handsome class president and honor student. By the time he became a second year, he had grown taller, adding to his versatility in giving him athletic potential. as he continued growing, he came to be one of the tallest in his grade. He was fast at running, and he was always the last one left in dodgeball. Then, of course, came Sports Day. After comparing all the times in their PE Class, Kenyu’s high ranking had gotten him chosen for the relay race. Everyone was in agreement. He was tall, fast and the perfect fit for the job. He was to be the anchor for the relay race. Was it really all right for him to play such an important role? he felt a bit uneasy, but he would give his best once again for the people relying on him. Until the day of the sports festival, Kenyu would run every day. He’d wake up early to run and practice dashes on the field after school. Every Sunday, he’d have his father time him. Finally, it was time for the class relay. Under the clear sky, the fastest runners would compete while the cheer squads cheered them on. Kenyu’s class, 2-1, however, would compete in vain. After each grouping, members of his team would slip down the ranks. By the time Kenyu got the baton he was in last place. There is a huge gap between him and the top, all the people running in front of him are the fastest in their class after all. But Kenyu had to try his best. Everyone had chosen him as anchor after all. He steadily started accelerating, passing by another player in just a quick moment. With his large physique moving vigorously and his feet firmly stomping against the ground, he gradually closed the gap between the other runners. His classmates all cheered for him, and as they continued supporting him, he continued gaining speed. Even the announcer from the broadcasting club got caught up in the excitement. With the loud cheers under the blue sky, Kenyu passed the final goal, bursting past the four other racers and finishing first. It’s the first time he’d ever run so fiercely. His chest heaved as he caught his breath. Kenyu had finished first for the sixth graders. His classmates had showered him with praise, wearing a big smiles on their faces as they crowded around him. Kenyu thanked them for their support, feeling that their cheers had powered him on. Kenyu was honest and sincere. He didn’t know he could run that fast. It’s because everyone had believed in him that he was able to discover a new part of him. To Kenyu, it was an incredibly joyous moment. A few days after that, when he got home, a shiny soccer ball was waiting for him in the doorway. Kenyu was surprised and had wondered what it was for. His parents had thought it would be good for him to give soccer a try, seeing how he was so fast. It would make him more popular too. After seeing that their child had such amazing speed they suggested that he try out a sport and bought him a soccer ball. Of course his mother also wanted to see him popular. Immediately, Kenyu went outside and tried kicking the ball. As he ran with the ball, he found that he couldn’t stop. He’d kick it forward and chase after it continuing on. “This is fun!”, he thought to himself. In all honesty, being able to dribble without losing speed is a technique that’s difficult for beginners, but Kenyu, blessed with incredible athletic ability, was able to do it from the start. That’s how Kenyu “met” soccer, his parents had blessed him with the opportunity. As if it was fate, Kenyu found himself absorbed in soccer.

i wonder what sexy soccer even is 😭 like what does it entail yk…HAHA chronically only gang rise 🤩 tumblr truly is the site for people of our kind i love it

the craziest to me is when they freak out about non-teenagers watching shows and writing fics meanwhile they are openly thirsting for old ass characters?? why are you at fourteen writing paragraphs abt every position you want to fuck toji and nanami in 😭😭😭 look i’m not going to judge too harshly because wtvr i get it but also like some of them need to realize that those in glass houses should not be throwing stones

the karasu tabito tag is basically mine atp DJSKDK i think every karasu fan has probably seen at LEAST one or two of my posts (whether it’s a fic or just one of my karasu shitposts)

EXACTLYYYY YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME BEING AN ANRI there’s only room for one high maintenance person per relationship and that role is fulfilled by me 👆🏻 that’s why my other favs are karasu barou and reo…you know those kings are NOT letting their partners suffer 😫 however in fiction nagi is my squishy cuddly fluffy dog bf so he is still number one in my heart 😩

if it’s isagi i’ll be mad because he doesn’t even feel like he has any interest in being captain 😓 i think aiku could work but agreed we def have to see more of him plus i don’t think he’d be made captain as he’s not an og blue locker yk?? OMG but if the trend continues we should be able to manifest karasu as captain…holding a prayer circle now 🕯️🕯️🕯️ (lowkey it would be funny if ego made like kurona or niko captain just because they’re the only ones that aren’t batshit insane and typically keep their speeches and vocab relatively normal 😭)

the way eita didn’t think she’d check if they were actually on sale too is so funny like she’s been dying to go there did you think she wouldn’t go and ask if the sale was still going on?! SO not slick omg i love him though…but $50 FJKSKS idek where he got that type of money from

i do enjoy writing a good old dumb/oblivious reader every now and again but i do think they have to be done right to feel believable!! personally all of my y/ns and mcs are based off of aspects of my own personality — some closer to my actual self than others ofc — which i think makes it easier to flesh them out because it’s just like “okay what would i do in that situation” LMAOO most of my side character ocs are based off of people i know too which again makes it easier to make them feel complex because it’s like “right so how would ___ react to that happening to them”…sometimes they end up not even being that similar (tullia in pomegranate ink is NOTHING like my irl best friend that she’s “based off of”) but just thinking of them as real people helps me treat them as such in the narrative!!

haha yes everyone does start somewhere so i never try to hate to their faces but i think it’s okay to acknowledge a general trend/pattern!! like there’s a difference between saying “your specific fic sucks i hate how you wrote your main character” versus being like “i think a lot of fics in x fandom have this problem with characterization”!! to me it’s not hate because people can decide whether that applies to them or not yk?? and yeah the wattpad uwu mcs are truly smth…or the ones that are meant to be “badass” but are really just loud/rude/make overly sexual jokes and swear a lot 😭 a lot of the times at first it’s easy to make characters as stereotypes/caricatures of themselves or have them composed of cliches but i do think most people grow out of it i quickly!! just a phase we must all go through i suppose…i will be the first to say i was cringe when i started writing that’s why half of my old works are private now 😩

HAHA OUTPERFORMING INDEED it’s so funny whenever i visit india my relatives tell me it looks like my voice is being dubbed over because i speak such good hindi but i’m very pale by indian standards so i look like a foreigner 😭 which omg ik that’s such a stereotypical thing to be saying like “no i don’t look like my race” when you very obviously do but just this last january i visited india for the first time in six years and people IN INDIA (including literally people i’m related to) thought i was either irani, afghani, or from spain 😓 they’d get jumpscared when i’d speak to them in hindi KSDJKSAN their lives would flash before their eyes as they tried to remember if they had talked shit abt me 😩 i speak it a bit at home and with all of my extended family that’s kind of the only language they know so when i call them i speak it!! i also just have a really really good memory (hence the lack of studying) so i don’t forget things which helps me pick up languages rlly quickly

SNUFFY’S BACKSTORY KILLS ME it’s so sad yet also realistic??? like it really feels like smth that could’ve happened irl yk (idk if it’s based off of smth or not) but on the other hand yuki’s is so normal i love it 😍 the fact that he got into soccer in such an average and chill way too LMAOAOAO my unproblematic goat!! although the sister thing is so funny…i’m assuming this is a different friend’s older sister than the one he fell in love with at age 10 because according to egoist bible she was 16 😭 and this girl is only three years older than him so they must be diff?? lowkey crazy as hell omg even in elementary school yuki was pulling 😰 i always interpreted those two facts (his first love was his friend’s 16 year old sister and his first confession was when his friend’s sister kissed him on the forehead) as being abt the same person and it being like the 16 year old sister was just kissing him because he was a cute little kid and he misinterpreted it/got embarrassed because he had a crush on her if that makes sense?? but ig they’re different people entirely!!

[vialae]

6 Songs - Kaidos Escaris

i was tagged forever ago by @vestigialpersonality for this xx

also i gotta preface this with like. i dont have a very good taste in music. if its fast and manic enough, i will like it, then play it for weeks on end. the current focus is new wave and rock music ur dad probably listens to. so.

1) An event that defines your character's past

Sometimes - Nick Lutsko The main reason for Kaidos to keep going is to 'repay his father' for accepting him into his temple when he was at his most desperate and vulnerable, no matter what. He has to prove himself. He has to show he is grateful and worth it.

2) How your character sees themselves

Psycho Killer - Talking Heads Yes, very on the nose, but if it works then it works. Also yes, Kai isn't as cool as he maybe thinks he is (and maybe undeserving of a song like this) but hey. He's at least self aware that he could crumble and/or snap at any moment.

3) How others view them

Kai wouldn't agree, but it would be safe to assume most people see his Urges + being a Bhaalspawn (understandably) before anything else about him, and therefore, like a puppet for Bhaal (please imagine bhaal talking to his child for this one to make the most sense)

4) Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

Something Isn't Right - Oingo Boingo Who would have guessed that when I first set eyes upon your face History would be rearranged and nothing would ever be the same Who would believe that in my heart is a piece of burning coal Slowly turning from a fire to a raging blaze without control (i dont think i have to say who this is about) (also im not going to add it but Violent Love also by Oingo Boingo was also a strong contender for this btw)

5) A major fight scene

On Edge - CRX I guess this would be better for more of a chase rather than a fight scene, but I could personally see both working. A mixture of desperation and anger feels like a good way to describe Kaidos, especially if the fight was, for example, to protect Gortash or something.

6) End credits song

Paint It, Black - The Rolling Stones Anything with Kaidos in it would not have a happy ending to it. Also I can really just imagine a scene of him just walking away, covered in blood, in a trance-like state with this playing.

[merakeeg]

hi tumblr im talking about how qifrey / orufrey is so never love an anchor core ( i merged my two fixations and now im not normal ) so therefore i will be rambling about it [ this is pretty much just a chapter 40 analysis so SPOILER WARNING ]

so starting with the first verse, I interpreted this as qifrey and how his "hands being clumsy, not clever" referring to how qifrey went out of his way to erase oru's memory despite how oru was willing to help qifrey. personally, i think qifrey DID want help, but seeing how much of a personal desire this was, he couldn't have help because he knows that oru would suffer as well . qifrey is so caught up in his own world where he hurts the people around him . despite olruggio wanting to protect qifrey, qifrey wants to protect olruggio from what would come from trying to protect him.

this verse can shift to olruggio trying to "do the best that i could / but try as i might i couldn't bring myself to hold you" since qifrey was always just out of reach.

second verse i think is pretty on the nose . the "secret i keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful" being qifrey's secret that he's losing his sight. he's worried that he won't be able to teach his students anymore. he would lose everything that he has worked so hard for. which is why he is so desperate and uses extreme measures to not lose what has driven him so far. sure, he feels guilty because he knows he has people who would follow in his footsteps. but this is a burden that has lived with him forever.

"there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders" once again referring to how oru and the girls at the atelier have love for qifrey, but it would crush him to accept the help since he knows that doing so would put them in far more danger.

the secret can also refer to qifrey knowing that the brimhats have some other ulterior motive that has to do with his right eye that would also put his loved ones in harms way.

this verse i think is more orufrey centered . specifically all that happens in chapter 40. my imagery is qifrey being the "ship" and oru being his "anchor" and trying to understand qifrey and not let him go to far and bring him back to earth before he gets hurt

BUT qifrey cannot allow this to happen . he knows what he wants and what he needs to do. and he cant accept the help others. he cant allow other people to interfere with his sorrows. yet he allows himself to open up and talk, only to "sever the rope to set him sailing from his harbor" and. you know what happens

um. Yeah! SORRY IF THIS WAS A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING i kinda just started rambling and hoping it made sense. i would go on with the rest of the song but i think i would just be repeating myself.

if anyone else has something to add (or if im just. Dead wrong) please please add more 🙏

[juicedbox1]

I made a spotify playlist for Hannigram. It's a work in progress.

It's filled with more rock/metal/alt music so if you like that, give it a listen (please im desperate)

I'm open to song suggestions to add.

uhhh yeah

[1d1195]

hi it’s me again!!! i’m so happy to hear you’ve been feeling more upbeat and i LOVED the song (thank you for acknowledging how gorgeous he looks in that cover photo cause if you hadn’t, i would’ve lol) the second verse feels like a warm evening with your friends and it just gives me really good vibes ahhhhh😭💞💞💞

i’ve been wondering for a while, are you a hozier fan? i feel like you would be and a lot of his songs are sooo good to picture stories with. because im SOOOOOO excited for the new songs hes releasing that were scrapped from his latest album, i keep hearing ‘too sweet’ everywhere and i neeeed the whole thing DESPERATELY !!!! (also if you aren’t i would love to share my favorites by him if you wanna listen to some!)

i read toothpaste and oh. my. god.😭😭😭😭😭 HES SO SWEETTTT I CANT

“call me harry, love.” BYEEE ID MELT INTO A PUDLE ON THE FLOOR.

I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU I SAW THE POST FOR DING AND IM SO PSYCHED!!!! just by the little synopsis on the masterlist, i can already tell this is gonna be one of my faves ever!!

i was just making a new playlist that’s more upbeat than my usual ones when i saw your post and i thought it was funny! maybe the weather is getting to us both lol.

as always, thank you for chatting and thank you for the song rec !!!!

~🎶

He’s so cute 😍 I gotta be careful I looked him up and he’s 5 years younger than me 😭

I’m not anti-Hozier at all! I’ve listened to a few of his songs. I’m def a fan of Work Song—the sound bite on TikTok that’s “when my time comes, around…” is perhaps one of the most beautiful lyrics in a song I’ve ever heard. Jackie and Wilson is my favorite by him though. Please send me your other favorites! I could use a new deep dive into an artist! Poor Noah Kahan has been getting a workout from me for the last few months 🤣

I’m glad you liked Toothpaste! I think it’ll be cute to add more in short bits. I hope I can handle short bits though. 🙃 as you can see I just start writing and then I can’t stop.

I think Ding will be one of my favorites too 💕

It’s cooling down in my neck of the woods again. I prefer cold weather but I’ve been enjoying longer daylight hours.

I’m so happy to hear from you and talk to you 💕💕

Xoxo

[boyfhee]

uh, UH?? u have a list of things he would write about, okay make sense... U WROTE A POEM??! excuse me?? me wants to read it. pretty please? 😳 "felt unnecessary"??!!!! i beg to differ!!! I WANT TO SEE ALL OF IT!!

im a sucker for heartbreak and things that will most likely make me cry!! ^^ so another heeseung angst, im waiting for it.. brought a blanket and everything

also, yeah the career switching stuff.. hit home for me.. cuz im not sure if what i chose was the right thing to choose.

taylor swift is a god. her sad songs are always hitting the rights spots!!! im worried... for myself!!

"So I wander through these nights

I prefer hiding in plain sight

My fourth drink in my hand

These desperate prayers of a cursed man

Spilling out to you for free

But darling, darling, please

You wouldn't take my word for it

If you knew who was talking

If you knew where I was walking

To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there

Where I pace in my pen and

My friends found friends who care

No one sees when you lose

When you're playing solitaire"

stop. he visits the memorial... *sobs*

LIKE DO U SEE HOW FUCKING HEESEUNG CODED THIS IS like for his poems but i could just be insane.

u think im interesting? im gonna pass out.....

- > swift anon ♡♡♡♡

I WOULD'VE ADDED IT BUT IT DIDN'T SEEM USEFUL FOR THE PLOT . but here's what i wrote ( i am Not a poet also this was inspired by a lot of songs and art works pls )

HALF OF IT ☝️☝️ doesnt make sense bc the fitzgerald in me in not fitzgeralding ( i mention him too much, he's my favourite poet ) ALSO ANOTHER REASON I DIDNT ADD THIS WAS BC OF THE QUOTE ON TOP OF THAT FIC . i typed it and went 'from red wine' but writing this poem i was like 'where do i add that thing' and i decided to not add the poem as a whole :>

AND ANON U GET ME angst is the superior genre in my eyes. u can serve me all the fluff in the world but i would still read the most heart wrenching angst before bed . and dw about the career thing! unless ure certain of choosing another line, don't make decisions on impulse. i'm still in med, i'm doing good, it was a moment of weakness bc my scores were kind of bad 😞 if u really like the field you've chosen, it won't disappoint u, and if u dont then i suggest u find interest in it or go with something that you enjoy ^^

SPILLING YOU OUT FOR FREE she's crazy for that line. how does she come up with these like im gna cry over that fic more by reading ur asks than ive cried while writing it ( i didnt even cry while writing it, i was having the time of my life ) but that line, the 'spilling you out for free' is so heeseung coded bc all his works are about yn, and no body asked for it. his editor probably begs him to write something that's not heartbreaking but who cares because ten years later, heeseung is still in love with you ( i am not okay typing this i dont like thinking the aftermath of angst i write . it never ends well for me )

BUT YES ALL OF SWIFT'S SONGS CAN GIVE A LOOK INTO HIS WORKS, WHAT HE WRITES ABOUT ohhh i have a love hate relationship with poets. and ure vv interesting swift anon i love u

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Little Talks (Of Monsters and Men)

You're gone, gone, gone away; I watched you disappear/All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart; there's nothing we can do/Just let me go, we'll meet again soon/Now wait, wait, wait for me; please hang around/I'll see you when I fall asleep

"It's such a happy song, in sound, but it's about a woman and her dead lover, both of them singing call and response to one another. missing each other, the dead having to watch the living grieve them. and the bridge is both of them at once and just. oh my god"

No Children (The Mountain Goats)

I hope that our few remaining friends/Give up on trying to save us/I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot/To piss off the dumb few that forgave us/I hope the fences we mended/Fall down beneath their own weight/And I hope we hang on past the last exit/I hope it’s already too late

I hope it stays dark forever/I hope the worst isn't over....And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out/You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning/There is no sign of land/You are coming down with me/Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die/I hope we both die

"The song of all time. It's the soundtrack for countless bad vibes ships (affectionate). The phrase 'hand in unlovable hand' has immutably altered the brain chemistry of thousands with its underlying sentiment and launched a hundred accompanying memes. 'I hope you die, I hope we both die' crams such incredible rawness and depth of feeling into all of nine words. It also makes for a great singalong."

"I need to leave. I need to LEAVE. I need to get out of this situation and I'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I need to leave. Please. Let me out. HAND IN UN FUCKING LOVABLE HAND"

"Just. Man. These two are so broken. They want to be in love. They aren't. They hate each other so much. They are the only ones who understand each other. They wish that they weren't so close but all they can taste is ash when they think of leaving each other. Just, mutually assured destruction tastes so sweet when you can taste the blood on their tongue."

"It's No Children."

"goddd man this song is about being an irredeemable freak with another irredeemable freak and i think that's beautiful. there's something so fuck you up ish about the person you hate and despise the most in the world also being the only other person who is like you, who gets you. im going down, but youre going down too. we can be terrible people together... even if i hate you... even if you're the fucking worst. because we don't have anyone else. there's always a sort of comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who's as terrible as you are, and maybe you only hate them because you see yourself in them a little, too. anyway clay and bloberta from moral orel"

"The sheer emotion packed into the way it’s sung, the lyrics themselves, all of it just screams ‘clinging desperately to someone you hate because you don’t have anyone else and you burned those bridges yourself’ and I find that painfully relatable"

"It's a song about both virulent self-hatred and virulent hatred of someone else and yet you see yourself intertwined with that hated person forever."

Poll runner: Do I even have to add anything? This was the tournament's most submitted song.

No Children submitted by @leovaldezdefender + @diogenescynic2288 + many others

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

8 fe bru ar y 2023 Wednesday 👰‍♀️11:55 am pdt

No one loves me. I don’t have friends. I guess I will go eat worms 🪱 11:56 am pdt

12:59 pmpdt the way they roasted me feels as if they are cooking 🧑‍🍳 me to death ☠️ I’m probably dead ☠️ on the inside. 1 pm

1:03 pmpdt I guess Nick won bcz he is a womanizer? Similar to Incubus. A man after incubus’ own heart ❤️. Nick was honest with his feelings to treat me like a whore, & since I was a kid I learned my feelings don’t matter 1:05 pmpdt right shoulder pain. All my life I felt cursed. Only now incubus wants to trick me into being friends? Similar to Nick trying to put on appearances!? Is that what it’s called? Even if you do the most horrible things it looks like incubus will forgive you if you do what you feel like doing bcz he controlled your feelings. He gives you those feelings bcz that’s what he wants you to do. Even if he put you through a weird relationship through possessing your family. Mother’s allowing weird men to rape. But bcz I ... incubus is yelling no! I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why? He wants me to feel guilty for not following through w/things I feel & trying to be better to people than I feel like being? He is trying to make me think 🤔 I did something wrong about lying 🤥 about my feelings? Trying to remember what that was & evaluate it but my head is roasting & I feel pain digging into my skull 💀. 1:15 pmpdt 1:16 pmpdt at same time he wants to make me feel guilty about my aunt & cousin. I never punched my cousin. My aunt was strong 💪 once I guess & she laughed about some things. I wish I could have laughed about all my painful experiences but it was TOO PAINFUL 😖. 1:19 pmpdt above, the stuff I wrote about incubus is very dangerous. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ every person, but sometimes it clearly looks like possession & then other times it’s harder/difficult to tell. 1:21 pmpdt I’m dying 😵 roasting. Some times I gave some people a hard time I guess. I could blame it on greed, or I can take a step back & remember my cousin hurt me & was desperate 4 healing & was a little harder on some people if they show the slightest signs 🪧 of trouble. 1:25 pmpdt

3:21 pmpdt I don’t like god I don’t trust god demon lord. 3:22 pmpdt upstairs neighbor thumped loudly. I am weird & maybe I am weird bcz of my brain 🧠 trauma? Or more curse? Or both? I wanted to straighten myself out please read previous posts I don’t feel like writing ✍️ over and over again. Unless I feel like confessing something new to add to previous topics. I had difficulty dealing with my feelings. And sometimes I did weird things & I thouroughly (3:30 pmpdt) regret a lot of things, big things & little things. I wish I dated around more instead of dating specific people, but my first real boyfriend was a really nice guy & im not sure if I could have found better. 3:28 pmpdt I guess I did him a disservice by hanging onto him for so long but I did hope feelings to return it grow into something good. 3:29 pmpdt but I was a problem & I had problems. 3:29 pmpdt

what does coo coo roo koo coo mean???? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ enough of any language to know. When I watch anime sometimes I question translations 😹😿🙀 5:47 pmpdt

translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation translation .... I got that from a movie 🎥 it’s a song 🎶 song 🎶 from 5 year engagement 5:50 pmpdt

Chan aka Chan ran Chan ranma 1/2 5:51 pmpdt

6:04 pm pdt incubus has been roasting my brain 🧠/skull. I really think I am not special to incubus for him to do this to my brain 🧠. Roasting = cooking 🧑‍🍳 = death ☠️ 6:06 pmpdt

10:01 pmpdt everytime I question him the incubus they burned my head. He’s using me. 10:03 pmpdt he’s a bad man.

10:48 pmpdt I’m questioning myself on another part that I too easily gave into to believing months ago. Also I was exhaling hot 🥵 air even though I didn’t feel anything hot 🥵 on the outside. I have never smoked a cigarette 🚬 in my life and I believe incubus is burning inside near the lungs 🫁 10:50 pmpdt after I thought 💭 this incubus started burning 🔥 me even more on the side I’m laying on & now he’s stabbing my pelvis/groin area. 10:52-3 pmpdt

10:56 pmpdt elbow = el bow 🙇 I bet it is easy 4 Nick & Scott to bow 🙇 to incubus bcz they have the same goals 🥅 🧐🤨🙄😵 10:58 pmpdt goals?: devirginze? Rape? Pimp prostitutes? Do easy work & live in luxury? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ what Nick is up to these days or how he’s doing. Scott’s living well it looks like probably bcz if his dad? In 2010 he told me he was “thinking about transferring to uc Berkeley.” I don’t think 🤔 he had a bachelor degree 📜 yet. He didn’t disclose much to me. 11:06 pmpdt he was working at a pizza 🍕 place & said he was manager. Now it says co-op. Don’t recall it being a co-op in 2010. I could b wrong 😑 though. He was still living w/ his parents, too. 11:09 pmpdt I think he started dating a high school 🏫 student 👩‍🎓 soon to be graduate 👩‍🎓 11:13 pmpdt incubus deleted some sentences & I had 2 hit “Done” to make it stop 🛑. He deleted that I believe they probably had an 8 year gap in age. 11:15 pmpdt