#please have a fabulous wednesday anon bb!!

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari! I was reading back on some of your Touya-nii universe asks and it got me curious, how would he handle it if reader struggled with prolonged periods of severe depression? You’ve said he himself would NEVER consider getting help but would he let reader? Would he get upset at her if he wasn’t able to change her behavior through his normal routine of just telling her what to do and having her listen? I can’t imagine he’d react well to reader going through a serious depressive episode

that is a very, very interesting question, anon. be warned, my answer is LONG!! <3

tw: mentions of mental illness, therapy + medication

touya isn’t stupid, he understands the difference between her being (what he’d consider to be) disobedient and her having a legitimate depressive episode. he would absolutely get her help, bringing her to each and every session and sitting out in the waiting room until she’s finished. it would take some coaxing; she can’t say anything that will endanger their relationship or put them in the eyes of the law, but ultimately (at this point in their relationship) he trusts her. he doesn’t and wouldn’t ever want her to be sad, you know??? never—the thought absolutely breaks his heart. that being said, he’d absolutely try some other methods before ultimately giving into therapy, but he definitely won’t bar her from going and would never refuse her the help she needs to feel better. his first instinct might be to get upset, his initial reaction being a mix of annoyance and confusion, but he wouldn’t necessarily be angry. he knows her very well, can practically read her thoughts, her feelings, her everything, through her expressions and mannerism alone, and she is always abundantly honest with him, thus he would realize very quickly that something is off, something is gravely wrong. as a result, his reactions to the situation would change almost instantaneously, the moment he realizes that this is more than just simple disobedience or misbehaviour; that this is bigger than him.

touya-nii is a sociopath, meaning he has a very weak—albeit existing—moral compass, and he has trouble feeling compassion etc for anyone except his mother, reader, and natsuo. as i’ve said before his ‘love’ is toxic and twisted and full of thorns, but he still does LOVE her, in some sense, even if it isn’t in the conventional sense, even if it bleeds very heavily into obsession and infatuation, even if it is unhealthy and selfish. he’d still never want her suffering from a mental illness—something they can fix or learn how to cope and manage together. for the most part, he wants what he thinks is best for her—this doesn’t always involve her best interests, obviously, because if it did, he wouldn’t be abusive and manipulative; he would’ve let her free a long time ago. but when it comes to something like mental illness, that’s different in his mind.

after the coaxing and touya moving through his hesitancy, when they finally decide on therapy being the right choice, they’d need to sit down and discuss a few things first, such as topics not to mention, details to be weary of during sessions—because she wants to be good for her niichan, right? she doesn’t ever want them to get separated or in trouble, does she? no, of course not—and he would certainly need to fully vet and background check every potential doctor before she attends any session at all, just to make sure that they are the most perfect match for his princess. after all, niichan knows best, right? <3

if reader wants him to, and if the doctors allow it, he will even sit in on sessions with her. despite the fact that his emotions—and his iron grip on them—go a little haywire whenever his baby is involved, he promises himself that he won’t say a single word during the sessions, that he’ll be the one to sit pretty and perfect and silent as she talks for herself, no matter how badly his palms itch and his throat burns, all in an effort to keep them both safe, to keep from raising any sort of suspicions in the eyes of the doctor. this also enables him to fully and completely listen to what she has to say and attempt to understand better what his little baby is going through—so he can be of more efficient help. however, regardless of how sharp the gnawing teeth of his incessant curiosity is, regardless of how he knows it’ll devour him from the inside out, he will only sit in on the sessions if reader wants him to—if reader feels too anxious to do it alone, if reader feels like she needs her niichan there with her.

admittedly, it does piss him off a little that he can’t do it all by himself, that he can’t abolish this anguish completely on his own, because he feels like he should be able to—he should be able to banish, to defeat, to kill this thing, to make it go away forever—but he wouldn’t be angry at her, he’d be irritated at his own perceived weakness and inferiority.

so in sum: yes, he would absolutely allow her to get help if that’s what she wanted, if that’s what she needed, aiding her in that process in any way he can, either it be financially or otherwise, and ensuring his princess gets the best care in the fucking country—though it definitely would take him some time to fully understand the situation; to really comprehend the magnitude and realize that, begrudgingly, this isn’t something he can fix on his own, as much as he wishes it was, as much as he wishes he could just bundle up her anxiety and agony and whisk it all away, eventually accepting that it just doesn’t work that way, no matter how badly he wants it to. he’d do anything—except letting her go, of course—to alleviate her immense suffering, to take all that pain from her and make her feel better, feel lighter. and if that means therapy + medication—even though that poses potential risks to their relationship—then so be it, that’s okay with him. he trusts her, and he just wants his baby smiling again, he promises <3 touya-nii won’t ever get himself help because, to him, there is nothing wrong with him. but he would notice almost immediately if there was something wrong with his precious little girl, and he would exhaust any and all of his options to make it go away <3