#please forgive my dumbass for messing the lyrics up but it was too late to change it when i saw it

[nekohrine]

part 2

(masterpost)

[danieljseavey]

Regret // Jonah Marais

Request- Can make a Jonah x reader were he cheats on her, then she does a cover of Kesha's praying then he realizes that he made a mistake? (Sorry that was really straight forward) u can finish the ending.

A/N- okay so i read this and decided to change it bc sooooo many people write fics about jonah cheating and i just cant see him doing it. so i switched the roles. also this sucks rip

~~

Three days. Jonah had been ignoring you for three days. Ever since he found out. It was only a one time thing, but it still happened. And you regret it, but you can’t change it.

“What’s this?” Jonah asked calmly as he handed you his phone.

You looked at the screen and your heart stopped. It was a picture of you and a guy kissing. A guy that wasn’t Jonah. 

“Can we not do this here?” you looked around at the four other boys who were now clearly listening in on the conversation.

“No. Tell me it’s fake.” he said, his anger beginning to rise.

“Jonah, please.” You begged.

“It’s fake isn’t it?” He asked, snatching the phone away. “This is fake, right?“

You began to cry, “I’m so sorry.”

Daniel jumped up from the couch and grabbed Jonah’s arm, “Let’s go outside.”

“No!” Jonah shouted, ripping his arm away from his band mate. “I want to hear her say it.”

“Please don’t make me do that, Jonah. It was a mistake,” you body was numb. He found out that you had cheated on him.

“SAY IT!“ He screamed at you.

“Jonah, calm down.” Zach stood up.

“Just say it Y/n,” he was getting annoyed.

“It was one time,” you blinked away the tears, hoping he would calm down.

“I don’t give a fuck how many times you did it, I just want to hear you say that you did it. C’mon say it. It’s not hard.” He spat at you.

“I cheated on you.”

And here you were, three days later sat on your couch crying because your dumbass thought it was okay to kiss another guy while Jonah was on tour.

You had logged out of all social media because you knew everyone was going to attack you. Not that you didn’t deserve it though.

Your phone dinged, signalling you had just gotten a notification.

Jonah Marais uploaded a new video: Praying- Ke$ha

You clicked the notification and your heart broke. Jonah was sat at the piano and he looked like a mess. A mess that you caused.

Well, you almost had me fooled Told me that I was nothing without you Oh, but after everything you've done I can thank you for how strong I have become

His voice floated through your speakers and you began to cry.

'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

He closed his eyes and his face contorted into one that resembled pain. You had caused this.

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'

You stood up and went to the bathroom. His face softened as he sang the next line.

I'm proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come

You sat on the floor next to the toilet. 

'Cause I can make it on my own And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh When I'm finished, they won't even know your name

He quickly wiped a tear and that’s when you broke. You leaned over the toilet and puked. You couldn’t handle that you had caused this.

You brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

After you were done puking, you sat back down with your back against the tub. You wiped your mouth and continued watching the hurt boy on the screen.

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'

Jonah had put a b&w filter on the video, but you knew his face was red. There were tears streaming down his face, but this time he chose not to wipe them.

Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night Someday, maybe you'll see the light Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give But some things only God can forgive

He didn’t try to hit the whistle note, but he did hit a really high note. You wiped your eyes yet again. He was so talented. 

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'

After he finished the last lyric, he stood up and walked out of frame. The screen went black and the video ended. 

You shut your phone off and cried. You cried until you had no tears left. You had lost the greatest thing that had ever happened to you. And now you had to learn to live with yourself, because you hurt Jonah. But that wasn’t the worst part. Because in time, Jonah will heal from this heartbreak and go and find someone who won’t hurt him. But you, you’ll never forget Jonah. He treated you like a queen. And you took him for granted. and you regret it. But its too late.

[thingsiwasafraidtosay]

This is a text I sent my guy friend about what happened to me. Austin, my first love, Evan, a guy who really hurt me.. Yeah idk if I said this but when Evan started hurting me, Austin was really there, showed me he changed. Actually became a good person. He was a good friend to me for 5 months. I didnt just forgive him easy, but during all that time he really proved he became a good person. I don't think I would be here right now if not for him. He got me to stop self harming, and forced me to eat cause I wasn't. It was 2014 when Evan did some shit to me and then just said he was done with me forever via text and never replied and I was waiting for him to reply but he wouldn't. I start freaking out and begging him to reply. Idk it felt like I just mentally blacked out. I threatened him I'd kill myself and then really cut a lot and sent him a pic. I wanted to say goodbye to Austin though before I really.. Yeah. He kinda stopped me from doing it and then after that he was there for me for those 5 months till he had to move. Idk maybe he was freaked out by it or something. He'd tell me I was strong and I never really believed it cause he literally always saw my weakest. He also knew how I was abused as a kid and bulled a lot and just a lot of shit. I could kinda tell he felt sorry for just making it worse for me when we were together and really wanted to make up for it. Idk he was something. Even when he did hurt me it was like he did it because he cared. Idk. But yeah he really tried to help me stay away from Evan and move on. But my stupid ass kept running back. I read some stuff about it, about emotional abusers who manipulate people to stay, and just make me cry how much it sounded like Evan. He seemed so innocent but. Yeah no one could have stopped me I guess. Even the article said that. Not till the abuser is "through" with the person. So just gotta be glad he decided he was through with me. And yeah looking back I do feel stupid and even though the signs were hard, should have seen the warning signs. Idk. I always felt he didn't care and he didn't love me. I didn't want to believe it. He never showed it either, that he gave af About me. Always did what he wanted. Never gave af about my feelings. He'd always be right. And when he'd cheat or do shit, he'd flip it to look innocent and like it was my fault he did that. And I even believed it. And he'd keep leaving and coming back. Always had some dumbass excuse. He'd be upset all the time that I didn't believe him and even tried to force myself to believe him. Hard to believe I thought he was innocent and Austin was bad. The tables really flip and turn. The article also said, people take like years to recover from that. Cause they're still under the abusers spell, thinking he's innocent. And yeah when I think about him, I think about how he seemed so innocent and that he didn't mean to hurt me. But if that's true then why would he rub it in my face when he started dating that other chick. Tell me how much better she is than me. Never cared when I hurt myself. Made it seem like it was no big deal. Tell him shit like "I wanna die" he said "I do too". Got me to stopped being friends with all my friends so he could own me. Some of my friends were tryna reach me I guess but he told them off. Cause he wanted it to be "just us". While he'd have a ton of female friends. Idk and apparently he said "Fuck you" to this one friend. Which kinda scared me since he never swears. He never Ever gets mad. I've never seen him mad. Even when we would fight, he never got mad. Even when I wanted him to. He'd just act all sad puppy. So I was legit freaked out when I heard that. I asked him about it and he said nothing. Idk I think he's insane. Always acts all happy and laughs about everything. Laughed about me a lot. Like "she wanted to marry me 😂😂😂". I'd get upset about him for cheating and go off and he'd be like "you're making me feel awful about myself. Happy?" So yeah like I was just supposed to let him do shit behind my back. I have to keep reminding myself of the shit he did all the time, every day. Because my mind still thinks he was innocent. And even that we could be friends again. I wrote myself a List of all the shit he did. But still I keep forgetting. So I have to literally drill it in my head every day. Like something healing and you gotta keep putting shit in there just so when it heals you got that shit under your skin. Idk that's why I say I shouldn't be dating anyone. I'm still cleaning up the mess he left me in. Lyrics to a song my guy friend sent me. "When I asked you if you're happy, I didn't see a smile. Your pretty brown hair, you always loved it. Guess he didn't like it, so you just cut it. And that don't sound like you, that ain't the girl I knew. You always sounded like, truck tires on a gravel road, laughing at the world, blasting my radio, cannon ball, splashing in the water, doing whatever whenever you wanted. What did he do? Cause you don't sound like you, anymore." ••• I'm sharing this because if I had read something like this, I might have been more aware of what was going on. If someone hurts you, don't allow them to. I no longer do. It doesn't matter what excuses someone has. How innocent someone seems. Trust your gut feeling. That guy never would have told me the truth. He kinda did at the end, when it was too late. He admit to using me. But no matter how many times in the relationship I asked him to tell me the truth, he never did. That's what your gut feeling is for. Please please please don't let anyone hurt you. Please walk away from anyone like him. It's not worth your time or your long term health. I was young and blind. Nobody deserves to go through that kind of hurt. Please talk to someone about it. I didn't until it was too late. A relationship isn't supposed to hurt you. Be strong. Trust your gut. And walk away from someone like that, and don't look back. Because if you do, you might not be able to walk away again.