#please euthanize me this is so funny

[multifandommadnessblog]

I uhhhh don’t have the means to do digital art but I’m still trying to draw soooooooo BAM

I don’t even know who to credit with the beginning of this… maybe @ghosts-and-glory ?

[jadelemonadee]

thought this one suited his personality so accurately so i had to draw it (black and white colored version + me yapping about him again under the cut)

okay so i love the annotation on the right since i love when people talk about his actual musical personality which people barely do because of how he got watered down so hard into a “innocent small soft shy pure cinnamon roll” by the 2017 - 2019 hamilton fandom era ☹️☹️☹️ it makes me so mad oh my god and it’s just because he doesn’t condone murder???? hello???? just because he has some pacifist views doesn’t mean he’s this pure soft man who needs to be protected IT WAS ONE LYRIC YOU GUYS (chaos and bloodshed are not a solution) a character doesn’t have to have some sweet angel personality for you to be able to enjoy them okay 😢 let him be a snooty annoying stuck up middle aged loyalist!!!!!!

[music-for-them-asses]

Depeche a la Mode

[jimingyue]

Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

🖋️ meowful-musings Follow

🕊️ birdwatching Follow

what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine

💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204

op wheres the natural feeding option

🌲 outdoorsy Follow

you guys are getting fed?

#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look

7,192 notes

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3

🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow

as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3

#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....

154,688 notes

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right

❤️ loving-paws284 Follow

um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...

🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow

OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD

🐟 tunafeesh Follow

also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks

anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse

#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now

32,456 notes

🍃 naturalliving Follow

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

猫神 Kill Em All 1989

I am trash cat

410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS

#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly

48,971 notes

🎣 salmonpurina Follow

can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther

#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks

34 notes

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!

🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow

evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

make your own pawst

💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721

umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...

👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow

Nyaverage shelter cat behavior

#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up

545,460 notes

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo

💡 discourse-meows Follow

hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

1. i was making. a joak

2. i'm literally gay???

#literally what's your pawblem

7 notes

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

i know you fuckers are lying

🍭 gaykittens Follow

this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

shut the heull up

988,653 notes

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise

🐁 ladymouser Follow

op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Feeling freaky and all I can think about is dave fucking you from behind with his arm around your neck choking you with those fucking biceps

Someone needs to euthanize me.

A/n: I was writing a different fic when I got this notification and it was really funny bc I had just been staring at the screen thinking about Dave’s fucking arms

Warnings: smut, choking, asphyxiation, spanking, degradation, muscle kink, sir kink, size kink, mirrorsex, belly bulge, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

I have never had such a hard time trying to find a picture of Dave and I’m pretty sure I’ve used this exact picture before but MY GOD I was struggling 😔

Dave had a you in a chokehold, occasionally his hand would come down to spank you. This was your punishment for walking in on him.

It wasn’t your fault, he was so fucking hot and you were sharing a hotel room together while Megadeth was on tour. Dave showered every chance he could and he’d always come out of the bathroom in just a towel.

Of course you ogled him, and he noticed, you didn’t think he’d mind if you just peeked into the bathroom while he showered.

He kept the curtain open, water spraying everywhere. You looked him up and down, eyeing him deliciously all the way from his thick thighs to his meaty cock you wanted to choke on, to have buried so deep inside you it gave you a lobotomy. From his cumgutters and happytrail all the way up to his wet hair before finally landing on… his eyes glaring daggers into you.

His palm landed on your already red ass again. “Fucking bitch, who the fuck said you could come in on me like that?” Your eyes crossed, face red from embarrassment, from how good he felt, a touch of asphyxiation.

“I-I did!” You moaned. “I wanted to see, wanted-wanted you to fuck me.” You moaned out, voice echoing off the tiled walls.

Again his hand came down on you. “This is what you wanted all along?” He demanded. “You could’ve just asked, but I guess I’ll have to train you, huh?”

You whined loudly, walls clenching around him. “Yes, please! Train me.” Dave smirked as you begged him to fix you.

“Such a fucking brat.” His hips stilled inside you, taking away the high you were so close to reaching. Another loud whine left you, tears filling your eyes. “Brats don’t get to cum.” He growled, tightening his hold on you.

You watched the muscles in his arm flex, shoulder and bicep so voluptuous, the veins in his forearm and hand as it clenched in a fist. You looked so weak under him, so small and fragile in his hold.

It got harder to breathe but you couldn’t think about that, too focused on the way he rammed into you repeatedly. Veiny cock hitting deep in you, a bulge forming with every thrust.

His grunts fell straight onto your ear, filling your mind and smoking it up like steam on a mirror. You were sure that if he let go of your throat you’d be screaming his name, creaming around his furry base.

His ball hit your thighs, pubes wet with sweat and your juices leaking from your abused hole, neglected clit pulsing painfully. “Need someone to fix your attitude.” He huffed. “Not gonna get that by getting what you want.” His thrusts stopped again, hold on you tightening once more.

You were in for a long night of choking and edging, your ass stinging. “Plea-please, sir…” you stammered, the lack of oxygen hitting your brain, “I-I’ll be good, I’ll be- I’ll be better, sir, promise…”

Dave’s smirk only widened further. “That’s a good cocksleeve, but sluts don’t talk.”

[doctorcurdlejr]

Okay reviewing my top 10 from 2023

1. 39,674 notes - Aug 12 2023 I can be normal about things. Don't look at my blog.

I have no fucking recollection of what prompted this post but according to the posts I made promptly after this it was NOT about Gerard Way OR Riverdale, but a secret third thing.... (Paramore Thick Skull). Knowing this makes me feel like I have a little secret everybody in the tags is wrong about so 6/10

2. 11,970 notes - Aug 14 2023

4/10. I like that it's about Riverdale (intrinsic good) but I accidentally molly whopped the hive of annoying people who hate Riverdale. Read Archie Horror and Grow Up.

3. 10,980 notes - Nov 29 2023 2023 LOVE WRAPPED you briefly fell in love with 100 strangers in passing this year Top 5% of lovers

6/10. I love love. Also this wasn't about Hozier but I love Hozier so I'll accept it

4. 10,331 notes - Nov 2 2023 sometimes I get sad when I think about all the people who are missing out on the pleasures of life only because they've decided...

8/10. Not at all my usual type of posting but Please Love Being Alive And Having Fun It's Really Awesome

5. 7,638 notes - Aug 24 2023

10/10. DID YOU KNOW I CRIED REAL ACTUAL TEARS THIS NIGHT I LOVE RIVERDALE YOU SOARED HIGHER THAN THE SUN

6. 5,038 notes - May 14 2023 best American fast food chain? Whataburger In N Out Cook Out Five Guys White Castle Steak 'n Shake Shake Shack The Chains...

4/10. It's like none of you want to eat at my highly regional fast food chain called Cook Out... what's up with that? Sorry to the Midwest for forgetting CULVER'S I don't live close to one and frankly I thought it was a custard place more than a burger place. Listening and learning

7. 3,975 notes - Aug 24 2023

10/10. FEATURING RIVER AS DALE

8. 3,257 notes - Jul 18 2023

8/10. SOOOO true scan from my copy of dykes to watch out for that I had hidden under my mattress for a day because I thought it was a funny reference to a post I made about Betty Cooper

9. 3,077 notes - Aug 23 2023 tonight they're euthanizing my beautiful wife for her visions of a bisexual world. her name is Riverdale. please keep her in...

9/10. Riverdale post but it's about how my beautiful wife is now DEAD which personally not a fan of. I did make this post on the clock at my job where I did 0 work because I was so stressed about Riverdale ending I just had Tumblr open instead and had what amounted to a public breakdown online (not really but You Know What I Mean) but I was typing so much everybody thought I was doing so much work

10. 2,982 notes - Nov 11 2023

10/10. Ayo you are like a cherry on my milkshake

Created by TumblrTop10

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #7: “Bloodcorn” | December 17, 2007 - 12:00AM | S01E07

Xavier sees an ad for a popular mass-produced cookie which is advertising cookie-tampon combos. Xavier takes the ad’s claim that there was a “mix-up” at the factory, at face value, and becomes overly concerned. He travels there and when he realizes how much pollution comes out of the plant he plugs up a drainage pipe. Toxic sludge backs up into the factory and causes the plant to close. 

Xavier decides to help one of the now jobless workers by going to his farm to perform various dances (a rain dance, which he forgets, a memory dance, which he also forgets, and an irony-neutralizing dance that only works if it’s raining). Fed up, the farmer shoots into the air at god. Blood pours from the sky, which invigorates his crops but turns them into monsters. Xavier saves the day by launching copious cookie tampons into the sky, plugging up the blood rain. 

This one is only hampered by the fact that two episodes ago we had blood Indians and blood cowboys fighting in a similar blood-meets-soil vein. It’s no big deal, really. Both episodes are very strong. It really only makes things confusing in conversation if you were trying to recall which episodes were which. It’s a shallow complaint. For my roommate and myself this was appointment television for us, and I still remember the parts where we laughed hardest. Xavier’s panic when the ad’s “mix-up” claim happens had us in hysterics. I’m not sure if the “mix-up at the factory” trope has aged any since this episode aired. Just in case it has: please know it was a thing. Um... look it up!!!!

There’s another moment that’s notable for perhaps requiring additional context: a sequence where Adult Swim style text supposedly replaces a dream sequence that is too mind-blowing to render. It looks a little bit like the Adult Swim bumpers of the era. The text looks rather large here, and I’m guessing that’s because I’m watching this on HBOMax. The show originally aired letterboxed in a 4:3 image, so I’m guessing the font size was effected by that in the conversion. NOTE: Nobody is allowed to make fun of me for typing the previous paragraph.

There is an early part where Xavier is watching “Darfur Doodles”, a presumably tasteless/wacky program starring malnourished war orphans. An announcer says “Darfur Doodle will be right black”, a joke that I love so much. It’s the kind of thing only a nihilistic POC could write and get away with. This is why we need more nihilistic POC writing comedy. 

Another incredible joke that I think often: I didn’t even really remember that it was in this episode or scene: During one of the cookie ads, they are showing a montage of people giving various testimonials about the new product, and among them is just some dude in a red convertible saying “what do I care?” and driving off while flipping the bird (some of you know what I mean!!!!). So fucking funny. This another joke I can remember bustin’ up laughin’ at. Lookin’ glorious.

More jokes I liked, only because I’m in a mood to remember about jokes: “she’s 14” “nice and legal”. Also the part where the evil blood cloud uses a smokestack to blow cigarette-style smoke onto a bunch of people, causing them to become soot-covered, immediately causing them to be beaten by police officers. Also one last last thing: there is a brief bit where they use a small bit of footage of a dog-faced humanoid looking anguished. This is from the 1981 Clash of the Titans, and this clip was repeatedly over the course of Wonder Showzen, so much so that I almost consider this to be a cross-over.

MAIL BAG

Your Katrina/Soda Pop joke would have cost you your job if you were the Aflac Duck.

If I were the aflac duck I would’ve contracted terminal angel wing from eating all the popcorn and euthanized by the haven humane society (the same people who forced us to kill our dog for being too noisy)

[joni-witchell]

My detestable son Gnerfbert who has many diseases but is SOOOOOOO funny so we let him kinda do whatever he wants. Often, when we have guests over , we give him a STRONG tranquilizer so that he is less bloated and less likely to rut someone to death again (sorry grand pap) but anyway we found out he's allergic to bananas recently because we kept feeding him peels (wife went through a troublesome banana bread phase please don't ask about it) and he would get SO engorged he would tear RIGHT through whatever anti-copulatory sheath we put on him...anyway,long story short, we commissioned my son's girlfriend to build a "horse sized i-pad" so that we could teach him how to speak in a human's tongue but he just kept pushing the "kill me" buttons and the " me need pussy" buttons so we had him put down...anyway,long story short...he came back to the barn, alive, walking upright but he was missing his eyes and he had several teeth more than when we had him euthanized and now he can't stop drooling whenever he perceives any mammal ovulation within twenty kilometers of him

L.O.L.

Sent from my i-pad

[inkedinfusions]

I had a physics exam.

Let's hope I got at least above 70(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Anyways! The key

Yes....yes...YESSS!!

Sorry I sound demented,but the point is YES

AHHH WE GOT GABI,FALCO AND WE MET THE WARRIORS,ZEKE WAS UNEXPECTEDLY LIKE A BIG BROTHER FIGURE AND IT FEELS SO IN CHARACTER IN ALL HONESTY (he has to let out those big brother energies somehow and Eren isn't here :))

Oh and we met Yelena....yey.

AND HOW READER WAS HANDLING EVERYTHING WAS SO SAD! AND UNDERSTANDABLE AND HOW NERVOUS SHE WAS GETTING WHEN WAITING FOR ZEKE MADE ME NERVOUS TOO AND IT FELT LIKE A JUMPSCARE WHEN ZEKE DID CAME AND I WAS LITERALLY ROLLING IN MY BED FROM SIDE TO SIDE WHILE NERVOUSLY READING AND JUST WAITING FOR WHAT ZEKE WILL SAY TO READER

Reader is honestly so hilarious at times though XD

Zeke: so you know my euthanize plan,so you agree with what am doing?

Reader: Yes (what he doesn't know is that am agreeing with him sticking with canon so I can predict his actions and deal with him)

And then we got on the boat to go to paradis and reader got smuggled like she's contraband XD

PLEASE AND HOW SHE WAS WAITING FOR EREN TO LIFT THE SHIP UP LIKE 'eren lift it up buddy,you're killing me here' 'i get motion sickness so better hurry up'

AND THEN WE LEAVE THE SHIP AND MEEEET EREN!! (Before reading all the chapters I've actually only read 8 9 10 but I still want to talk :))

I swear that no matter what timeline,what universe.eren will always have the worst first impression ever it's almost a talent (his first meeting with armin which I've talked about before,his first meeting with Mikasa where he kills two people ect)

The guy standing there like slenderman, being ominous and then saying

Eren: I know you 🧍‍♂️

Reader : ????? Yes?????

Eren: you know me too

Reader : wh-!?

Eren: don't try to deny it

Reader: ?????yes???

WE HAVE HANGEEEE!!!! AND LEVI TOO AHHHHH I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEE HOW THEY WERE WRITTEN AND THEN THE MEETING WITH THE 104TH CADETS MADE ME GENUINELY NERVOUS

jean: no last name?

YES JEAN,NO LAST NAME WHAT'S IT TO YOU???? WHAT IF I WAS AN ORPHAN JEAN?? EVER THINK ABOUT THAT??? WHAT IF THE SHEER UTTER TRAUMA COMES BACK FROM YOU ASKING??? THEN I GO INTO COMA AND THEN THE FUTURE IS RUINED,DID THAT EVER CROSS YOUR MIND JEAN?????

(I love jean,but he legit made me so sad because reader got sad :'))

Eren is so funny here too XD

The 104th cadets looking at Eren when reader says something she definitely shouldn't know

Eren: she knows stuff :)

AND THEN WE GO TO SLEEP,OUR NIGHTMARES AND SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON GREETS US AND WE SPRINT OUT! AND EREN...please eren

Eren: I heard something happened (my guy is just waiting for anything to happen just so he'd get an excuse to talk to reader)

AND I LOVE HOW EREN HELPS READER,AND THEN THEY TALK ABOUT WHAT HE KNOWS AND STUFF

At least even Eren seems surprised at what reader knows,watch her one day knowing stuff that is irrelevant to the future but also she must know it for a reason right?? (No Eren she just went to the wiki and trivias to know more and understand your character more,and that your blood type is B)

All in all I enjoyed the key very much :D

Physics and I have a toxic relationship lmao. Like,,, in theory I love it! but for a grade? 0/10 do not recommend, but I'm never probably taking a physics class again. I hope you get that above 70!

Im surprised about Gabi tbh lmao, at the beginning I didn't expect for her to come so naturally to me. Reiner too! Somewhere theres a post about me lamenting that I can't write him well - although that was probably because he wasn't planned. He just kinda appeared in the middle of a chapter and I was like... ok, ig we are doing this now?

Yelena! She scared the shit out of me when I watched the anime lol. Def interesting to think about her and her future role heehee

Zeke!!!! Love that man hes my favorite but I also don't like him a lot HHAHAH theres just something that makes me want to put him in a jar and shake him around to see how he reacts

Eren continuing with the trend of creepy first introductions. Wait I just realized that Y/n has a very bad track record. First creepy Yelena, then Eren standing there

LMAO SORRY I love Jean but he would

Everyone sideyeing y/n after she references something from their cadet days she DEFINITELY shouldn't know

Just leaving on the table that y/n didn't tell Eren everything lol

Thank you for your ask!! Im so glad you enjoyed it despite,,,, yknow,,, zeke and yelena HAHSA

[inn0cencestrained]

*ANIMAL ABUSE TW*

If you’re triggered by animals abuse please don’t read this but for those who aren’t I need some advice.

First off I need to mention that all of the animal shelters around here are overwhelmed with cats and dogs. I live in a tiny community and the largest town/city with over 50,000 people is 3 hours away. A city with over 100,000 is 6 hours away. There are zero shelters right now taking in animals. They can’t. They’re so full as it is. Unfortunately any animals that are taken in are taken to a vet to be euthanized. It’s so sad but that’s just situation right now.

A quick backstory. I live on the edge of a very small town- right next to a cornfield. Our town has a lot of stray cats roaming around. This summer a mama cat and her three babies showed up on my porch. I already have 3 dogs who live inside and 2 cats that live in the connected garage and outside. Those two are supposed to be our mousers but they both have brain damage and while I love them to death- they are the dumbest cats I’ve ever seen in my entire life. So basically what I’m trying to say with that is that these are just my animals here in town- not to mention my horses and other animals out at the farm. I’ve got a lot of animals and I didn’t want four more cats. But. I’m a huge animal lover and they were all soooooo skinny that I started feeding them. After about a month of caring for them my neighbor saw me put them in my garage when a tornado was coming in our direction and suddenly they were “her cats”. Which bullshit. But I wasn’t going to argue and I figured it’s best to let her take them- well she only took the kittens. She gave one to her son and kept the other two. And honestly that was fine, the mama cat is an AMAZING mouser and rodent hunter and she makes up for what my two are supposed to be able to do. A week later the male orange kitten was suddenly back at my porch which once again I just said whatever to because mama was depressed after her babies were taken from her and I’d just find a home for the little guy before winter hits. (Get this though. He’s an orange cat- which means he’s a little psychopath. He wasn’t this cuddly little kitten so she just tossed him back outside without any care about him being fed or cared for- funny how that works huh?).

Fast forward, two days ago my neighbor asked if I wanted the white kitten inside her house. My response was no because mama is pregnant (I have homes lined up and she’ll be spayed immediately after the babies are weaned. Basically I thought that because she was the neighbor’s cat that maybe the neighbor would step up and actually care for her- nope- so mama will be my grandma’s (she’s building a home next to mine) and she will be loved and cared for. But she’ll have her babies here and live here until the house is done. Not to mention I’ve also got the orange little shit (he is adorable and funny, but again orange cat) until winter comes.

She then started begging me to take this kitten because her grandson (HERE IS THE WARNING AGAIN FOR ABUSE) has been putting this little kitten in the washing machine and dryer then starts it to try and see what will happen for over a month. He chases her around the house with a knife to stab her and has repeatedly tried to drown her in the tub. He also has taken her legs and tried to rip them off of her body. He did this even before the lady claimed she was hers and still living at my house. I never knew what happened but the kitten’s leg was completely turned to the side. I had booked an appointment for the vet but canceled it when the woman took the kitten. He also will beat the kitten and chase it just scare her.

The grandson is 5 years old.

I knew I couldn’t leave her there. Regardless of the cat situation here, I couldn’t let her die in that house. So. She’s back. Her and her brother are playing together and she’s actually eating food and it’s been good. Mama is really pregnant and just not in the mood for anyone but me and the dogs (who love her soooo much!) but I do know that I have to find her a home before winter. As much as I enjoy having them here, she and her brother have to be able to have a home before winter comes because I just don’t have ability to care for all these animals and neither will my grandma. They deserve a good home.

My dilemma is do I go take this girl to the vet to repair her leg before giving her away or not? She moves remarkably well on it and I’ve pushed and moved her leg and there zero signs of pain. She just looks at me like what the hell are you doing? I have spent so much money on these cats- food, shots, pregnancy care, a upcoming spay, etc-

Like what would you guys do in my shoes? I feel like I have done the best I can do in this situation but I think everyone always things they could do more. The surgery thing for the girl’s leg is my biggest question though.

Here’s a picture of the little princess

[jaguz123]

short poem/letter series about dog

dog about to get euthanized ... bro doesn't know it

enjoy

tw for euthanasia , basically

---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---

AWAY, TO THIN AIR

———————————

I got in the truck today

You let me bring my toy,

There I sat confused- despondent-

as you went back inside

Because why weren't you going with me?

But boy, you were right!

Hesitation fades fast as the car begins to move

You always said I bounced back real quick, even when I got older and sicker

The breeze free to ruffle my fur, grayed with age

Muzzle lifted up to sniff the air

Yet I wonder why your tears stained my back.

They evaporate fast

Just like the worries in the world when you're going somewhere new!

A LETTER OF LONGING

——————————————

If only you were here!

The sights and sounds are immaculate 

I don't remember that type of bird being there at our house

Nor do I remember the grass being this green

Do you know how many toddlers wave at me?

They look so happy!

But their parents quickly hush them, point at the vehicle and whisper the words ‘pound truck’

I wonder what that means…

What a funny sounding new word!

It must mean something grand

If those young children can't speak in my presence!

It's funny to think about though, imagine:

King Max! Riding through town, with his royal escort, the ancient king of ages long gone!

It makes me feel mighty

But I also don't, because the best kings never have that aching pain in their hips

Do kings have ‘arthritis’, as you called it?

Maybe this supposed ‘pound’ can make me feel better.

Best of wishes to me…

LETTERS, TOLD TRITE

—————————————

I haven't eaten in a while…

But that's alright, these new places are enough to fill my empty belly

But at the same time, I want to choke these words wafting through my head down my throat

Because sometimes they feel so useless.

Do your words ever feel like that? 

Like they hang suspended in the air, never to reach home again?

But it can't be true

Not in this wonderful world.

Dreams come true, I think.

MEADOWSIDE DAYDREAMS

—————————————————

I got some kibble, because for the first time in a while, the big scary man driving the truck let me out for a bit!

Sure, I had to bark and scratch at the walls 

And he yelled mean things at me, like ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid dog’...

But it can't be that important.

I don't feel hungry anymore!

I'm sure I'll be back home soon.

Can we play a new game when I get back though? I've called it “King Max”!

I've decided, alongside chasing butterflies in the meadows, that I have a new dream! I wanna be a king!

You can do that for me when I get back, right? After they fix me?

After my joints don't feel old and creaky anymore?

They can take all that away, right?

FREE TO MAKE PROMISES

————————————————

The pound isn't all that it's cracked up to be, is it?

Because I think the wind passing by gave me a new sense of clarity

Told me things I didn't wanna accept yet

I can't be leaving home forever, right?

Is it because I scratched your couch too much? I promise I'll stop.

I really will.

Just please take me home

The trees don't seem so kind anymore

I think they're mocking me

Because how can a chunk of wood be more free than me?

Will I ever see home again?

Wish you were here.

GOOD DOG

———————

I'm a good dog

Please, tell me I'm a good dog

I'm so hungry, but the man won't be letting me out again

You can give me some treats, right?

The joke's been funny so far- you can come out now!

But you're not here, are you?

I'm never gonna be seeing you again, I think.

Dreams come true

Or maybe dreams die.

Maybe they die, like I will soon

Please don't let me die. I'm a good dog.

I'll be a great one, if you want me to

I can do everything a young dog can do

I'm a good dog.

JOURNEY'S END

——————————

I think it's over. The car stopped.

Should I refer to you as ‘you’ anymore?

You're never gonna see me again.

You'll never hear what I had to say.

Why did you let me go so easily that day?

Why didn't you hug me for just a bit longer?

You could've at least told me that it was over- why not?

Do you hate me? Is that why you did that?

I think you're right, I did deserve to be yelled at like that

But you can't hate me, can you?

Otherwise you wouldn't have cried on my pelt that day

But maybe it was out of joy.

I think you hate my guts.

BARGAINING

————————

Please. Please let it be over already. The dread is too much. The cage is too small. My body hurts so bad.

The food is there, but I don't wanna eat anymore

You're not there anymore.

If you ever really were

I think I learned all the nice terms for it

like ethical murder 

putting to sleep 

mercy killing

but I think my favorite is euthanasia!

It's not a happy kind of favorite though

If there's one last thing you could give to me

Spare me with

Just tell me that it'll be over soon.

EUTHANASIA

————————

I think it's time- finally

yes, they have the needle ready

They say it'll pinch 

Then they laugh

because they realize they're talking to a dog.

A dog unable to see its owner one last time

But that's okay

They're gonna fix me. For good

I won't be any trouble to you anymore

I won't hurt anymore

I won't whine anymore when I have to stand up

But when you join me too

Can we play King Max?

I promise we can play Queen Sammy after that, too, if you want some attention.

Just one last question before I finally let my eyes close

Are there any dog biscuits in the great beyond?

haha, just kidding- I think

I'll bring my own

But I think I'd much rather bring you, if I had the choice!

There aren't many curtains falling when you die, though, are there?

In the end, I guess I really was just a dog

The world goes on. So will you. Keep the planet bright for me while I'm gone, alright?

-Max

[nebulations]

[ID: Trigun 98 and Trigun Stampede screencaps overlaid with text posts.

98 Wolfwood drooping + A post by @/wrender that says "Heavy is the chest that wears the tits or whatever"

Tristamp Wolfwood grinning + A tweet by ass @/drill that says "if a doctor tried to euthanize me I would kick the fucking needle out of his hand at 99 mph"

98 Wolfwood smoking + A post by @/dead-god-dreaming that says "Excommunicated from the catholic church for sexy reasons

Tristamp Wolfwood grinning while wielding the Punisher + A post by @/lakevida that says "you missed it because you were looking at your phone but an angel just appeared to me with a flaming sword and told me that god decided there's nothing wrong with day drinking"

98 Wolfwood grinning on the airship + A post by @/cock-dealer that says ""I like my fruit firm" I say before slapping your twink ass in the farmers market , instantly horrifying someone's nana to death"

98 Vash grinning while eating a donut + A post by @/nightmaredad that says "you hate me because you know i am funnier and sexier than you. when i jingle my little clown bells and do my silly little jester dance it fills you with anger that i can be so funny and also so sensual in my big, big clown shoes"

98 Wolfwood and Vash laughing very obnoxiously + A tweet by ASMR is fake @/singingflesh that says "(kisses the back of your neck while you're peeing at the urinal) Oh sorry I thought you were my wife"

Tristamp Vash yelping + A post by @/scaldingwater that says "cant get over how cool i am when im not acting like a neurotic prey animal"

98 Vash crying with his head in his hands + A post by @/beacon-lamp that says "[white knuckling the bathroom sink] but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay sil"

Tristamp Vash smiling nervously + A post by @/generalgrievousdatingsim calling me a "people pleaser' is so misleading. absolutely nothing i have done in my life has pleased anyone." End ID]

Woe vashwood be upon ye

[brainpandrogeny]

Nellie McKay - Identity Theft

Because I'm tired of maturity, airport insecurity Runnin' from the Thought Police, fightin' with the go-betweens Hold up, let me steal a breath 'Cause we're dealin' with identity theft (You need an education) I don't see why I got to (You need a good degree) As to assimilate So little time, so much to be bored by If no one trod along Harvard lawn, no one'd make a nuclear bomb They don't teach you how to care, empathisin' if you dare Euthanize your sense of fair play, better to obey No child is free, oh, why, it's queasy to see Is that an elementary or a penitentary Huh, geez, get off my back Beat it, take it to town, man Idiots go to college to get dumbed down Ooh, it leaves you bereft Ooh, identity theft I may be wrong, I don't know why I may be wrong, but I'll try You might also likeGalleonNellie McKayLivin’Nellie McKayLight & NightTally HallBecause I'm sick of the insanity, watchin' horny manatee Feelin' like a libertine, dealin' with the death machine Hold 'em up, it's a street arrest And we're dealin' with identity theft (You need a publication) I don't see why I got to (You need a press release) As to assimilate Journo-fascist profiteers, pornotastic pioneers Bonbonbastic puppeteers, get away from me How can you write what we read, that ain't my reality You disabuse humanity, humility and fealty Oh, you guess you got an edge Hiding your hedge from the feds Puttin' down the little veg (Ignorance is a right, not a privilege) I'm finished, done, and had it And while you fucks are at it As far as I'm concerned, Pluto's still a planet Ooh, you die a quick death Ooh, identity theft I may be wrong, I don't know why I may be wrong, but I'll try Because I'm sick of all the sabotage, where's my female entourage Lookin' for some kind of closure, all I'm findin' is Ray Bolger Hold up, hell yeah, I'll confess 'Cause we're dealin' with identity theft (You need an occupation) I don't see why I got to (You need a boss to please) Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're late Yakety yak, don't look whack, Nellie, you're a heart attack Murder, murder, on the wall, who's the butchest one of all (Where'd you get that vegan dress, a flea market) Oops, I forgot, you design for Target Shun violence and religion, don't ever play with nuns But I punched a man on Broadway just to watch him cry Every guy I went to try said I fight him but I can't think why Bent unhinged and singed I cringe to watch the main event But in the end, there's no success like revenge Ooh, it leaves you bereft Ooh, identity theft I may be wrong, I don't know why I may be wrong, but I'll try Because I'm tired of hypocrisy, is it them or is it me If Jesus Christ is left in ruin, Satan, buddy, how you doin' Hold 'em up, it's a street arrest And we're dealin' with identity theft Because I'm tired of being sweet and nice Fuck you once and fuck you twice Show your passport, get that stamp Funny like a nazi camp Hold 'em up, hell yeah, I'll confess 'Cause we're dealin with identity theft

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.30-31: An Emotional-Whiplash Commentary.

-for the record. usually when i read manga, i'm like, 'aww, i want to see how it ends, but also i don't, because characters might die and then it'll be over, and then i'll miss it UwU." with this one, i'm like, "PLEASE, PLEASE JUST GIVE ME ANSWERS AND LET IT END, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" XD

-listen, i'm calling eren devil child for distancing reasons, for coping, don't show him all long-haired and beautifully drawn and emotional, i get soft

-LISTEN TO ARMIN, HE SPEAKS! FINALLY HE SPEAKS! HE STRATEGIZES!

-...i don't like seeing eren frightened. this devil child... i don't. i don't.

-JUSTICE FOR FALCO DAMMIT

-noooo :(((( they turned into titans

-MIKASA AND ARMIN ARE STILL SAVING YOUR ASS, YOU DEMON CHILD YOU!

-for real, it was to save falco? i thought galliard just happened to be there, wrong place wrong time

-i don't like seeing eren frightened, i don't, i don't

-FUCK YOU, EREN, JEAN AND CONNIE ARE SAVING YOU, EREN! ARE YOU SEEING THIS, EREN

-i know eren can't die like that, but heh. gabi.

-I DIDN'T NEED EREN'S CUT-OFF HEAD ON A SPREAD PANEL! CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE HIM!

-eren. please. i don't know what i'm pleading for. just please.

-I CAN BREATHE! I CAN BREATHE AGAIN! EREN DOES NOT AGREE WITH EUTHANIZATION! NOW DO YOU HAVE A PLAN? or must i renounce you again

-FUCK YOU ZEKE, GRISHA LEARNED FROM HIS MISTAKES AND LOVED US!

-oooh okay. so owl DID say mikasa and armin, but didn't know what that meant.

-generally i don't vibe with timey-wimey stuff, but i'll go along with it, that's the least of my issues rn

-yeah, how much of the future do they know? and can they see THEIR memories? i mean. grisha saw eren's future. can eren see HIS future via grisha? 

-okay wait so, eren was able to influence grisha in the past because zeke brought eren into grisha's memories in the future? :O

-oh okay so eren did see his future through grisha

-devil child what do you mean by putting an end to this world, are we going to be okay

-mikasa's blushing her heart out at eren's 'what am i to you?' do you really need an answer, eren

-that spiky skeleton thing isn't devil child, right...? oh. it is. oh. oh boy. i regret not reading any spoilers. i regret everything. i suffer.

-armin once again being relatable, 'eren's on our side, he must be.'

-oh. and we're back to world destruction. hello devil child, i hoped you were gone, and yet. how do we stop eren from killing the entire world but paradis. how. h... DEVIL CHILD ARGH

-one brother was like, ‘i'll kill all of us’, the other brother is like ‘i'll kill everyone but us on this specific island.’

-but what was the point of seeing those refugees that made you cry, then?! what about the innocents, why destroy them? can't we talk

-okay, i'll give you that, it's amazing how at moments you side with... everyone, basically. like, now reiner is like 'eren is going to destroy the world' and it's like YES MAN DO SOMETHING

-i think eren sacrificed *his* humanity along with all of humanity to protect you all, jean

-bb armin, who cares if it provokes any conflict with any titan, eren controls the titans. is he not all-knowing though, why are his subjects attacking us

-yaaay, go gabi go! save kaya! save in general! just save!

-it's so funny that we've hit pause on the massacre and we're just focusing on interpersonal stories. like yes the world's being destroyed, but carry on

-i have the same question, gabi, can't eren turn titans into humans and vice versa

-well... eren yeager didn't NOT kill his own people...

-yes mikasa lil bb, think for yourself and shine, yeah? <3 but little bitch armin, you didn't have to phrase it like that

-oh. if even armin calls eren a lost cause...

-demon child trusted floch with the plan?! and not us?!

-Levi levi levi <3. well if he didn't die NOW, i doubt anything else will kill him, it'll be pointless for him to go out wounded and not in a fight... right?

-yeah, by the way, devil child, i don't think armin's ever been controlled by bertolt, i think he's been haunted by erwin's ghost all along

-if armin feeds himself to connie's mum and dies here, i'll kick a bitch

-GOOD BOY CONNIE, DAMN YOU ARMIN SCARING ME LIKE THAT

-annie with her face stuffed with food is so cuuuute

-HEHE NICE, HANGE, COMING IN WITH THE PLANS, HANGE NEVER DISAPPOINTS

-i mean, listen. the world's gone to shit, devil child is slaughtering everyone, and i must say i enjoy seeing the new allied teams of eldians, marleyans, volunteers, whatevers. like, this is BIGGER. this is bigger than all else, this is above nations.

-reiner must feel like he woke up to one of his nightmares

-yes, connie, save the world babies, go out there and be safe <3

-but okay, wait. if, as jean says, eren is doing all of that for them (which i don't doubt), WHY did he push them away? not entrusting them with the plan i can understand, but why was he actively a jerk?!

-holy shit attack on school castes with eren is such a jarring contrast that it gives me whiplash. but okay yes, with these new alliances and with eren's notable absence that fortunately keeps my rage and sadness levels in check, i'm feeling hopeful again

[sleepknoot]

Mkay so according to TERFs, I'm not allowed to call myself "queer" but they're allowed to refer to themselves as the d slur and plaster it all over their blogs???? Okay.

[ceasarslegion]

Also the "well that large dog growled at me when I went to pet it!! It's aggressive and dangerous!!!" Attitude. Dude, growling is a warning, not the aggression itself. It's the dog telling you to stop whatever you're doing to it. And growling isn't even the first warning, it's the last. The first ones are often freezing up, panting suddenly stopping, whining, and/or trying to move itself away from you. Growling in a well-trained dog is "dude, I told you to stop. STOP." And trust me when I say you don't want to train growling out of dogs, because then they skip that step entirely and go right to actively getting them to stop (read: biting).

Dogs can't talk to you and tell you "excuse me, I don't like that very much, and you're a stranger so your unknown intentions scare me. Please cease that act, good sir." They have to communicate to you somehow that what you're doing is distressing to it and they want you to stop. "Well why is it fine with it's owner doing that but not me?? Clearly it's badly socialized!" Bro it knows and trusts its owner, it doesn't know you. What would you do if some fucking guy you've never seen in your life walked up to you in the mall and started touching your hair and making noises at you? You'd probably feel very different than if it was your best friend or partner. At least introduce yourself first

The funny thing is it's never the same attitude with little purse dogs. They could exhibit way more aggressive behavior and get "oh he's a fiesty one :))" but when it's a pittie or even a retriever it's "keep that wild dangerous animal out of the public >:(("

Large dogs really do get held to a way higher standard than small ones do. Large dog owners have to work twice as hard just to keep their dogs from getting seized and euthanized because God forbid some punk kid run up to your rottie in the park and pinch and pull at it's ears and tail and end up getting bit because they wouldn't stop bothering it and now the parents are flipping shit on you and calling the cops on a "dangerous animal" when their shithead kid was the one who wouldn't stop hurting your dog and it got them to stop in the only way it could

I know so many large dog haters on this site have never spent any amount of time with a large breed much less owned one because half the things they comment "this is so aggressive and dangerous!!" on are just regular dog play behavior. Like so many dogs have big ferocious personas they put on while playing games but it's all fake, they're doing a bit. They like to play at being big strong predators because it makes the game more fun. All my dogs growing up used to have a play growl/bite/snarl and a real growl/bite/snarl where the play ones meant "pull on my rope toy more! Wrestle harder! I'm big and scary and ferocious!! Look at me go!!! >:3" and the more you made them do the play ones the more fun they were having playing with you, and the play bites were these big fang-bearing chomps that ended in little nibbles and licks when they actually hit your skin, play bites were never real bites.

And like yeah I get that if you don't know that individual dog you don't have the ear for how their fake play aggression sounds but most of those comments I see are on videos of large dogs whose fur isn't raised and tails are wagging and they're not trying to get away or actually break skin and they're sneezing periodically (dog language for "im playing :3 I'm not really being mean :3")

And like yeah sometimes when you play with large dogs they can get carried away and accidentally bite or scratch or whatever for real. You know what else carries that risk? Kids. Cats. Small dogs. Birds. Hamsters. Leaving your house. Existing in the world. Large dogs are not uniquely more dangerous or aggressive just because they're big. Like any other dog you just let them know they hurt you that time when they're young or newly adopted so they learn their limits and when to stop in the future and it'll be fine. It's just the right training and socialization like any other dog.

Some of the folks here would look at this and go "WHAT A HORRIBLE MEAN AGGRESSIVE DANGEROUS DOG PUT A MUZZLE ON IT AND KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME"