#playing sniper or spy just hits different

[sneeperspoi]

me when I play spy and the sniper I've been bothering starts to target me back (they don't like getting backstabbed): wait... could this be the blossoming of something new?? is sniperspy... real? 😳🥴👄💖😍🥰🥰

me when I play sniper and there's a spy that targets me so I get paranoid and become extra alert for spies: omggg this is so sniperspy coded 🥴😍😍💞💕🥰🥰🥰

[roygbivvie]

-TF2 MERC KINKY HEADCANNONS-

*This is like my first time writing anything on here so have mercy on my mortal soul*

Nsfw warning obvi, so 18+..but also it gets pretty damn kinky in here so beware.

- [x] Spy

Spy in my mind is absolutely a switch. He absolutely has a daddy kink and a knife kink, but he also wants more than anything for someone (scouts mom) (or you ;0) to yank him down by his tie and force him to his knees. He likes surprises. These can be sexual in nature or not. I feel he would also like blindfolds regardless of who’s wearing it. covers your eyes and says “guess who” ass motherfucker. He’d growl too i think.

- [x] Sniper

many thoughts are to be had about this man in particular. For starters, by no means am i one to kink shame. My blog would be more of a testament to that if my likes were public. However, i simply do not think he has a piss kink. I think he puts absolutely no thought into pissing in jars besides the fact that it’s purposefully insulting to his targets in game. With that out of the way, his kinks. Do i even need to say primal kink? This fella read most dangerous game and thought: damn.. that’s kinda sexy. He wants to set you loose in the woods and track you down to fuck you. he wants it outside. he wants it dirty, sweaty, covered in blood and mud. He wants it animal style but literally. Aside from primal stuff, he loooves roadhead and hitting that thang from the back.

- [x] Scout

Now scout is a tricky one. Unlike basically all of the other mercs, i don’t think he’s super kinky. Here’s some thoughts anyways. He’d definitely start out kinda preformatively domineering, but the man has no ability to bluff. he’d ask constantly if he’s doing ok / if there’s something you want him to do. He is an absolute sucker for any praise. Compliment him on literally anything, and he’ll be a puddle in your lap.

- [x] Pyro

The mask STAYS. ON. during sex. The only way i could see them removing it is if they first blindfolded you. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just refuse for absolutely anyone to see them. So i hope you have a mask kink, because they’ve certainly developed one. Other kinks they may have would be sensory play. I’m talkin hot wax, ice, feathers, incense, maybe even needles. basically the whole shebang. Pyro also has a love for fantasy, and i feel like Ovipositors would lend quite well to that. They probably have quite the extensive bad dragon collection.

- [x] Engineer

He absolutely makes you toys.. and them suckers are POWERFUL. He’d absolutely make a fuck machine, or several. I think he’s extra into having anything you use to get off be made by him. He’s mega into overstimulating you. He likes to watch his handiwork absolutely wreck you over and over. He may even want others to watch too. I think he’d have a size kink whether you’re bigger or smaller than him, I just think he’d like the difference.

- [x] Demo

I think he likes cuddlefucking and somnophilia. Nothin sobers him up faster than waking up to head. Now when he gets in the mood for it, it’s degradation BIG time. like so bad that he probably feels he has to apologize afterwards.

He also likes to spit on you. Also i don’t know how it would work, but there’s potential kink-ery with that ghost eye of his. I don’t know how, but the potential is there.

- [x] Medic

Oh boy this freak..

Did someone say knife kink? yea. yeaaaaah. And it’s pretty extreme. He’s not just threatening you, he’ll really do it. He likes to keep you strapped to a medical bed n shit too. I think he’d like to spoon-feed people. He gets off on giving you sugar pills to make you “feel better” wait.. were those really sugar pills? fuck. You’ll wake up sore with maybe an organ or two missing, but that’s the price to pay for those big sexy jugs he’s got. Don’t worry he’s a master at aftercare.

- [x] Heavy

Size kink outta the way, I think Heavy is into Dollification. He wants to take care of you, dress you in frilly outfits, and keep you on a shelf like a little collectible next to Sasha. He might even share you with medic.. take you in to get “fixed” if he ever brakes you..

……….. fleshlight position 0////0

- [x] Soldier

WAM!!! (wet and messy) for sure. I mean the honey in the comics certainly did something for him. wearing red, white, and blue? you won’t be wearing anything in no time. I feel like degradation is also a certain for him. Don’t tell anyone but he secretly wants you to put him in his place .. he definitely doesn’t want more than anything to follow someone’s orders..

[justgrey]

Hello! I’d like to request the mercenaries with a fem mercenary reader who is a shapeshifter and has a pretty chaotic personality? Basically Nimona from the movie Nimona lol

Watched the movie finally, and now I'm gay for ballister. Thanks for that xoxo. be on the lookout for something on him because i want to chew him and hit him like a tennis ball

Also, it's safe to say I got a little stupid with this one 💀

Mercs with a chaotic! reader

Warnings : swearing, light mentions of gore, talk of body parts, medic.

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨���

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Overall, some very mixed experiences. But a fun concept either way.

[sneeperspoi]

One of my favourite aspects about Sniper and Spy's relationship (platonic or romantic) is how they both have a mutual understanding of like, quiet time and what it's like to genuinely feel this certain flavour of solitude:

Sniper has a lot of his work done completely alone; hiding, playing the waiting game, and all that jazz, while Spy has a somewhat similar experience. Sure, his espionage lifestyle has a more active role at times, but his job still requires maintaining distance (physical and emotional) from both clients and targets. Both are dedicated to their work enough that they'd avoid getting genuinely personal with people altogether— even if they wanted to, they know it'd negatively impact their abilities to perform. Sniper having the mindset of having "a plan to kill everyone you meet" and to just "take the shot", and Spy being described as a "puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles" is telling of how much of a wall either can put up and any given time.

Now, I'm not saying that the other mercs don't know what it's like to be isolated or that they could never relate to Sniper or Spy in that regard, but their roles aren't necessarily fundamentally built around it, y'know? They aren't required to hide away or to work solo (you could make the joke of "then why are there always 5+ snipers and spies on my team at any given time??" but shhhh this is more in the context of the lore/comics lolol).

I feel like this concept of them realizing their niche similarities and how "hey, maybe I'm not really alone in this world" has so much potential. Like... the idea of them not really participating often in team activities or usually hiding away (in a van and smoking room perhaps?) is great, but to add on the angle that they now have someone who finally understands?? To finally have someone that you don't have to explain anything to?? It hits differently. They could have a smoke together, not saying a word the whole time, and consider it a successful hangout— they don't expect anything from the other, or feel the pressure to act differently because they just get it, and know why things are the way they are.

There's so much angst potential too, forbidden friends/lovers who both know the consequences if things go sour. Maybe they've suppressed so much of that desire to have a relationship (platonic or romantic), that when they finally admit that this is the case (realizing they both feel the same way), something clicks and they try to make it work. Don't even get me started on the potential "hey, maybe I can trust you" aspects either lmao. Regardless of what direction you take though, their relationship growing feels special and unique.

The media too often depicts the whole "can't get close to no one. I don't need friends" attitude as mostly negative and something that needs to be fixed... but with these guys, they're just allowed to be like this. Not saying that there are no cons to this attitude ofc, but it's not necessarily a thing they have to change about themselves or each other or anything. I guess it's refreshing to see that there are still characters out there who can be loners and just be content about it. Unless of course, you want to go down that route. Love that type of angst, but it's nice to have that option without it feeling too OOC. Ugh, there's like so much to explore and deconstruct and so many directions to take this fr fr

((Also, I realize now it's kinda like being an art kid and that moment when you finally meet someone where you don't have to explain why you keep drawing the same old soggy men who shoot each other cuz they just understand. Artist to artist communication lol))

[king-casino]

hellooo,,, ur art makes me very happy 😭

ummm,, if u want to share,, do u have any either sniperspy or dad!spy headcanons???

Dad!Spy:

-scout and spy make the same face whenever they kill someone in a particularly sadistic way

-scouts name is actually spelt the french way, Jérémy

-once it was revealed that spy was scouts dad, they tried to do "father son bonding" activities. Scouts idea was playing baseball, but that just ended in scout hitting a ball directly into spys face. Multiple times.

-spys idea for bonding was drinking scotch by the fireplace and not talking. Which. Is not scouts strong point.

-eventually they found things they can do together. One of which is cooking! Spy loves to make fancy french food, and scout helped his mom out in the kitchen a lot.

-spy taught scout how to make french omelettes. Scout had a hard time with the rolling at first, but when he got the hang of it he was very proud of himself

-scout basically forced spy to listen to Tom Jones' entire discography. But in return scout had to listen to spy talk about his knife collection.

Sniperspy:

-sniper is totally autistic and semi-verbal FIGHT ME. He talks with sign language sometimes when he doesn't wanna talk, and for a good while Pyro was the only one who understood him. But once spy and sniper got together, sniper taught spy sign language at spy's request.

-spy likes sneaking up on sniper and taking his hat before saying hi to him. Sniper acts angy but lets it slide because spy looks pretty cute in his hat.

-in fact, sniper loves seeing spy in his clothes. Possessive animal instincts.

-they exchange small gifts a lot. Spy gives sniper fancy rings and other small shiny things. Sniper makes spy little nick-nacks. He made spy a necklace out of a crocodile tooth and a leather cord. Spy wears it everyday. Sniper wears the rings spy got him, choosing different ones each day.

-sniper deffo does wood carving in his spare time, and gives the random things he makes to spy. Spy loves them and displays them in his smoking room

-both of them tend to get caught up in things and forget to eat, so the other usually brings food when they do.

-sniper was definitely touch starved before getting together with spy. At first he was very awkward and stiff about affection, but after awhile he was all over spy. He's like an octopus when they're alone.

-in regards to PDA, spy is more likely to engage in it. One of his favorite things to do is rile up sniper while they're in public. Like standing super close to sniper and putting his hand in sniper's back pocket, basically groping him! Spy's a little pest, and pretends like nothing is wrong while sniper looks like a frickin tomato next to him

-scout is good friends with sniper, and is absolutely horrified that sniper is dating his dad. Whenever he sees them kiss or whatever, he makes a big show of gagging and saying "EWWWWWWW" like a little kid

-spy is polyamous, but sniper is not. In the way that sniper only wants to be with spy, but he's fine with spy dating other people. He's a little possessive, but ultimately all he wants is for spy to be happy. Their dynamic is that spy won't have casual sex with people, like one night stands or friends with benefits type things. But if he wants to go on dates and have a serious relationship, he will.

-spy is still in a serious relationship with Scout's mom, who's also polyamous. Though she prefers casual relationships with other people that aren't spy.

OK SORRY FOR THE LONG POST I JUST THINK ABOUT THEM A LOT

[coyotejone-s]

i'm insane. rubber rats and such. here's my thoughts on who the reds and blues would main in tf2 vs whose place they would take in a potential au. spoiler: they ARE different. and also i'm not making the au, but if you wanna do it feel free to use this as a guideline.

disclaimer: i'm a walking tf2 encyclopedia... for the lore and comics. i HAVE played it of course, but i'm by no means an expert on strategy and such, so contesting my knowledge on that end is more than welcome.

RED TEAM

Grif

Main: jumps around a bit, but always comes back to heavy because he's got high health and decent damage rates. mostly follows simmons around because no one wants to fuck with the battle medic. that being said, he CAN hold his own (he's actually REALLY good at the game) and watches simmons' back like a hawk. and his other teammates' too i guess (silly).

Place: heavy. big dude, cares for his family, wouldn't be doing this in an ideal world. also he deserves a big gun. RIP the grifshot.

Simmons

Main: as mentioned, he'd be a battle medic, and a fucking TERRIFYING one at that. definitely puts a lot of time into it, and it absolutely pays off. has one of the best k/d ratios purely because he's just fucking going for it. it looks like luck but every second is strategized to an embarrassing degree. this makes him feel powerful. god forbid someone kill grif, because he'll hunt them down for the rest of the match.

Place: medic. he deserves to be unhinged. we've all seen how he is on the warthog turret.

Sarge

Main: soldier. he's got rocket jumping down to a perfect science. he is defying gravity. he has discovered some sort of secret technique to perfectly optimize speed and distance while minimizing damage. he will never tell anyone what it is and he will show it off at any chance for the rest of time. thus, he never fucking plays any other class.

Place: soldier. there is nothing to be said that hasn't been said already.

Donut

Main: this one's tough actually. i think he'd flip between pyro, demo, scout, and soldier. he likes the fast-paced gameplay, and is pretty decent at all of them.

Place: scout! he's got a hell of a throwing arm! i'd be willing to bet he was in little league as a kid. i could have better reasoning but i had to switch him when i switched tucker.

Lopez

Main: engineer. it's familiar, trying to keep things fixed and running while a bunch of idiots run around and fuck things up. can often be seen rancho relaxing next to at least 2 fully-upgraded sentries like 30 seconds into the match.

Place: engineer. same reasons, same play style.

BLUE TEAM

Church

Main: good god, he tries to main sniper, but he's so fucking bad at it. gets backstabbed all the fucking time. he's too stubborn to stop. to his credit, though, he's pretty damn good with the melee and smg.

Place: sniper. again, he's not GOOD at sniping, but he's good enough with the subweapons that he qualifies.

Tucker

Main: probably scout. he likes being fast and annoying. it's not really that deep LMAO. i think he plays like me: running directly into the line of fire and just trying to hit as many people as possible before dying. a tried and true strategy. unfortunately, as such, his k/d ratio is impressively terrible.

Place: demoman. initially i wanted to place him as scout, but then i thought about eyelander and the energy sword and it won me over because i love eyelander. i think he'd try to demoknight and be really bad at it GHSJASKHGSA.

Caboose

Main: listen to me. you can put him in any class and he'll kick fucking ass. he has every perfect strategy mapped to muscle memory or something. he's a fucking enigma. no one can beat him. if caboose is on your team, you are almost guaranteed a win.

Place: pyro. it's the whimsy.

Kai

Main: i think she'd main spy purely so she can cloak and watch everyone else run around like idiots. occasionally she gets a kill in, but that's mostly when they stumble close enough to her. she can be very efficient when she wants to be, but mostly she's here for the drama. she has a screenshot folder of grif and simmons doing gay shit. it's... massive.

Place: spy. she gets to serve cunt, be bisexual, and kill people. what more could a girl want???

MISC

Disclaimer: Locus and Felix do not have a place to take due to a lack of main-enough characters. Sorry!

Wash

Main: look at me. i think wash is exceptionally bad at most of the classes. he does his best, but they just escape him. he's pretty good with pyro, but he sees pyro as overly easy with little challenge (no offense to caboose). against all odds, i think he's best at engineer, and surprisingly good at it! usually he follows lopez around (because lopez knows what he's doing), but about half the time he'll be on his own and tentatively killing it.

Place: ms pauling. in season 10, he mostly follows carolina around, dragging the reds and blues with him and following the majority of her orders. remind you of someone?

Carolina

Main: also tends to jump around, but prefers support classes. she'll join whichever team she thinks needs the most support at the time. half the time she'll be on the sidelines, cloaked and watching her idiots fuck around.

Place: the administrator! she's the most properly take-charge of all of them. i'd imagine she inherited the position from the director.

Doc

Main: medic, what did you expect? he's surprisingly good at offense, but prefers to stick to healing. in the event of an o'malley switch, he battle medics. he's not good at it.

Place: merasmus. he deserves wizard powers.

Locus

Main: spy. suits his style PERFECTLY. will occasionally play sniper if needed. absolutely cracked at both even though he says he doesn't play video games (this is a lie).

Felix

Main: he doesn't play tf2 because he thinks the people who play it are annoying nerds. this being said: probably either scout or sniper. scout when he feels like being an asshole, sniper when he feels like actually being efficient. either way he gets to show off.

[blubushie]

what would they show of each merc to turn you gay in TF2style Gay Conversion Camp, even? yeah this is me asking for your professional opinion. i know what you are (joke)

Scout: Him playing baseball. I wanna see him at bat on an actual field and also I wanna pitch for him. 10/10 would intentionally hit him and clear the dugout for an on-field fight

Soldier: Nothing he reminds me too much of my dad it's weird

Pyro: Hear me out. You know those fucken firie pinup posters...?

Demo: Just recreate that "they may never take our freedom" scene from Braveheart. Hot bloke on a horse in a kilt with a big fucken sword? I'm sold.

Engie: Wrangling cattle. That's it send tweet

Heavy: Cleaning Sasha. You can tell a lot about a man by how he maintains his weapons and equipment

Medic: Any clip of him performing surgery. I'm curious if he has a surgeon's grace or if he just goes at it like he's butchering meat. Both are hot for different reasons

Spy: Get rid of that shitty pinstripe and put him a velvet-lapelled tux, give him some scotch, a cigar, and have us work the same black tie formal. Bonus points if he's there to kill me. We'll go from there

Sniper: My first gay childhood crush was Steve Irwin when I was like. 8. My second was (and remains) Paul Hogan at around 9 and John Jarratt from 17 on so. Y'know. Nothing's necessary for Sniper I'm already there (though that said we're so alike that sometimes it feels weird for me to be attracted to him cuz it's like wanting to shag your clone or something—same brain different body or some shit)

[legodcsupervillansbiggestfan]

throwback to that time I made different stages of players for each TF2 class (all direct quotes from what I wrote):

Spy:

Sphee: the newest of the new. A literal baby who has no idea how to play. Embodiment of an f2p and honestly very adorable to see in the wild. Adorableness scale: infinity/10

Spo: more experience than a Sphee, still rather new though an still pretty inexperienced. Adorableness scale: 9/10

Spu: a decent Spy that needs more training. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Spi: good Spy but lacks in skill. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Spa: very good at Spy though needs to get more convincing when disguised. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Spy: THE Spy, an absolutely great player, bested by only one other. Adorableness scale: 2/10

S: The ultimate lifeform, unbeatable. Gets ubered, might have pocket Medic. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Spycrab: hon hon hon funny french crab!!!! Adorableness scale: 100/10

Sniper:

Shiper: Totally new at Sniper, most likely only has the confidence to go for fully charged body shots. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Spipper: A tad bit more experience, but still not too good. Still most likely mainly body shots. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Snip: Getting more confident, probably using a different rifle now. Misses a lot though. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Skyler: Wowie, this guy's good! 99% chance this one uses bazarr bargain. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Sniper: The Sniper. Awesome at headshotting. Beware of them though. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Spisser: jarate. EVERYWHERE. TOO good. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Huntsman: STOP THE ARROWS! GO PLAY MEDIEVAL MODE!! Adorableness scale: 0/10

Medic:

Meem: New to Medic. Either tries to constantly recreate the Über scene in Meet the Medic or pockets no one. Adorableness scale: 11/10

Meddy-Man: has now discovered the art of pocket Medic. Soldiers and Heavies will abuse this new player's innocence. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Meedick: despises teammates. Innocence ruined. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Med: doesn't hate team as much. Nicer, more willing to heal. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Madic: HATES Scouts. Also might have become a woman by now. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Medic: Heals everyone equally. Pretty nice. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Pocketee: Pocket Medic. Turned to dark side. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Battle Medic: DEAR GOD STOP I BEG KF YOU!! Adorableness scale: -2/10

Engineer:

Egg: Sets up sentry nests in strange places. Doesn't build teleporters. Uses mainly the pistol. Adorableness scale: 14/10

Egoneer: Too confident, not much skill. Might get a Pity-Pybro. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Fearfulneer: started using teleporters. Spies will target these guys because while they're easy to kill, they still provide a small challenge. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Smartgineer: getting smarter. Better sentry nests and better at detecting Spies. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Enginear: Outside your spawn. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Engineer: Pro Engie. HATES Spies, Demomen, and direct hit Soldiers. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Engineer Gaming: Help he's IN my spawn. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Battle Engineer: Gunslinger, frontier justice, and perhaps wrangler? Satan fears him. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Heavy:

Heevee: Stop spraying bullets at EVERYTHING! Okay, but they are sweet. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Hoovy- Has discovered the art of friendly, will be in this stage for a while. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Hefty: uh oh he's found out about pocket Medics. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Weight: oh no he's sedist and homophobic now. Some Heavies may skip this stage, thankfully. Adorableness scale: -100/10

Hevky: Aw he's so nice :) yay sandvich!! Adorableness scale: 9/10

Havvy: My god how he's improved... Adorableness scale: 7/10

Fat Scout: JUST USE YOUR MINIGUN!! STOP SHOTGUNNING ME!!! Adorableness scale: 0/10

Demoman:

Dimmyman: Why would you give an f2p ONLY bomb projectiles?!! Adorableness scale: 8/10

Damemale: Sticky spam grenades for emergencies. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Dunkoman: uh oh, a parachute. He dunks on people from the skies. Adorableness scale: 7.5/10

Damnoman: God he's good. Help. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Demomemo: Man, I can't get past a single choke point without dying. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Demoman: That's it, I'm going Pyro. Prepare the be airblasted. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Alphaman: I'm gonna go play Portal. He's too good. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Demoknight: HOW AAAAAAAHHHHH!! Oh wait, I'll just go Heavy or Pyro or Scout or Soldier. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Pyro:

Photo: Picked by f20 because promise of fire is quite appealing. My first main. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pierow: this guy rarely uses airblast. Very much w+M1 but that's fine because that's literally how they use their fire and move. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pyruse: Uses airblast a lot! Spychecks CONSTANTLY. Or: Phlog user. Two options. Adorableness scale: 8/10 or 3/10

Piroo: fire everywhere. Has discovered the degreaser, panic attack, and powerjack combo. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Pyrule: real life pyromaniac by now. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Pyro: uses both airblast and fire. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Pyrbro: loves helping Engineers. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pyro Shark: not even the water is safe anymore. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Soldier:

Slurdur: desperately trying to rocket jump. Fires rockets at anything that moves. Adorableness scale: infinity/10

Soulger: still hasn't learned NOT to fire rockets at good Pyros. Adorableness scale: 11/10

Sillyder: Rocket jumps are pretty good. Mainly relies on splash damage. Has started sparing friendlies. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Sulldier: Sanity hanging on by a thread as the pressure of NOT relying on splash damage and hitting airshots is a lot. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Soilder: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO!! It's a rocket jumping Soldier! Adorableness scale: 6/10

Soldier: Can You Airblast?!!?? Very good at Soldier. Has become Patriot. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Slurpdor: help. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Trolldier: Market gardens but cries when fails. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Scout:

Scot: Annoys Snipers, double jumps everywhere. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scoot: Oh god they've got the Atomizer. "Now we're all sons of bitches," - Soldier TF2. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scut: Has learned NOT to pick fights with those stronger than them. Still slips up every once in a while though. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Soot: if this was real life, my skull would be caved in from how many times I've gotten beaten to death with these guy's bags. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Sot: no comment. Adorableness scale: negative infinity/10

Scout: okay, these guys are all right, do some funny things. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Scooter: he's in my WALLS. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scum: makes me wanna yell, please go away I have no money. Adorableness scale: Stop/10

That's all, let me know if any thoguhts! P.S. I wrote all this originally when I first got into tf2 in 2022 lol so my humours changed since then

[lieslab]

Introducing: N0 B0DY, N0 CRIM3

As the leader of a mafia, known as Stray Kids, Bang Chan's most important job is protecting his investments. As the presidential election rolls around in the United States of America, it's nearly the same as every other year. The only difference? One of the presidential candidates has promised that he'll do whatever it takes to get rid of Stray Kids if he's elected. After winning the election and getting put in office, tensions continue to rise between the president and Stray Kids.

Kiera Campbell, daughter of the newly elected president, hates her father. Having to obtain the perfect public image, her life is filled with lies. A grand illusion created by her parents, all she wants is to be free. She'll do anything to attempt to have a normal life. It's a hazy dream that she's been chasing since she was a child. She'll do anything, even if it means putting her life in danger.

Exposed secrets, a fraudulent assassination, pointed fingers, a kidnapping, and a twisted romance between two people who come from incredibly different backgrounds, what's the worst that could go wrong?

The answer is everything and so much more.

_ _ _

N0 B0DY, N0 CRIM3 is a fanfic that is currently on Wattpad and Ao3.

Starring:

Bang Chan: A mafia boss with an incredible amount of parental issues that isn't quite sure how to handle his emotions, so he comes off as cold and emotionless.

Lee Know: An undercover spy/interrogator who knows exactly what to say to manipulate people. (He also makes delicious food that everyone loves.)

Changbin: An ex-military sniper with anger issues that happens to be in a hit-man group. Sometimes he tortures people, but to be fair, they usually deserve it.

Hyunjin: A nepo baby with an art gallery. When he's not painting, he's laundering money, when he's not doing that, he's being dramatic as per usual.

Han: An undercover spy/interrogator with crippling anxiety. It's not easy going undercover when your brain is against you.

Felix: Chan's right hand man who has so much trauma that it's turned him into a mixture of the joker/the mad hatter. He's a sucker for lollipops.

Seungmin: A sarcastic hacker that is so good at his job, he probably knows all your secrets even if you don't know. Email? Social media? Government office page? Just tell him what you want and he'll do it.

I.N: A pyromaniac who accidentally discovered his love for fire one day and never looked back. When he's not creating homemade bombs and blowing shit up, he's putting his fashion degree to good use and designing clothes.

May also contain:

*Changbin and Lee Know with motorcycles (and a police chase)

*Explosions

*High stakes and adrenaline pumping scenes

*Female rage

*Parental issues

*Chan's father as America's most wanted criminal

*Felix playing cupid

*Forbidden love

*A slow burn romance

*The crippling realization that maybe you shouldn't trust any of the characters

*Murder

*Violence

*Screaming, crying, feet-kicking, and giggling scenes (or so I have been told)

And my personal favorite:

No happy ending

[spyborg-au-official]

As The Sun Beats Down

tw: gore, depictions of panic, and angst.

Spy could almost feel his body failing him. Every step was forced, and hurt immensely.

Engineer had been controlling him from a distance, watching in from the small camera installed onto the metal patch covering his heart. every button press calculated, and every flick on que.

Spy had stalked up on the BLU Sniper, who'd been distracted-trying to shoot down the RED heavy. He'd managed to get a headshot, Heavys head exploding into a fine red mist. bits of gore splattered about as his body fell forwards. Before he could even turn around, Spys knife had been plunged into his spinal cord, killing him instantly.

His scream made Spy cringe in disgust.

He swiftly turned, and walked out, activating his cloak and dagger. Every move he made was calculated, and played out by the Engineer. Like he was a sick puppet master of sorts.

and it sickened Spy more-so that this was only the first.

-------------------------------------------

Scouts breath hitched as the enemy Heavy noticed him. He'd attempted to start making a run for it, when he'd run into the RED Soldier. In a desperate attempt to escape, he'd swiftly ran around him, and pushed him over as a distraction. He continued running more a moment longer, screaming out for Medic.

He'd come across a small area, where no one could see him. His lungs stung from the running, and his arm was bleeding profusely.

Medic must've been busy doing something else.. unfortunate.

Scout shuffled further inside of the space, before he shoved himself against a wall. He let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"that.. that was extremely close.." He said with a huff.

Maybe he could wait here until everything...

he heard footsteps approaching him, followed by the sound of a spy uncloaking. within an instant he had been facing the sound, pistol raised. it took him a moment for his eyes to adjust until he realized who he was looking at.

"..Spy?"

at first, he was relieved to see him. but not long after a wave of frustration came over him.

"Where the HELL have you been man?! You can't just-" he paused.

Spy looked.. different, to say the least. much paler than he remembered.. and were those tubes?? what happened to him?

"Spy what.." he paused, swallowing hard. "what are you doing..?"

He watched as Spy pulled out his revolver, and shot him point blank. Scout fell over dead, blood pooling underneath him.

-------------------------------------------

everything had gone so fast.

he couldn't remember when he'd last been anywhere near the cart. he'd been so far behind enemy lines.. his original teams lines. while it normally would've made him feel safer, but in this case.. it was the exact opposite.

he blinked awkwardly as he walked under the overhanging bridge. He could hear so much happening, but see nothing. He flinched at the sound of light sound of boots hitting the sandy rock.

His cloak and dagger activated, and he moved closer to the wall.

Danny?..

it took him a moment to recognize the shorter man passing by him. He had a tool box slung over his shoulder. with every step, his helmet bounced around.

he'd placed it down, and started building a teleporter.

Spy's heart sunk in his chest, as he was forced to take steps towards Daniel. he'd pulled out his knife, cloak fading away.

In an instant, Danny had turned, wrench inches away from Spys face.

"Spy 'round-" he paused, expression faltering. "Evan?"

Before he could think, the Spy had grabbed a hold of Daniel, one hand on the other man's shoulder as his dominant arm thrust forward, piercing into the Engineer's chest. The blade was sharp, delicately honed, and it slipped cleanly between the other man's fourth and fifth ribs, just left of the sternum.

Daniel's quivering hands rose to the fresh wound, the blue fabric of his coat staining a deep crimson, callused fingers grasping lightly at the wound before his legs gave out, and suddenly, he was falling... Weakly grasping at the man he had missed so dearly as the life quickly seeped from his body.

-------------------------------------------

SPECIAL THANKS TO @paranoidginger FOR HELPING ME WRITE THIS!

[averagedilflover]

some of my favorite tf2 things listed in no specific order:

toxic spy mains leaving after being ubersawed

the way hoovies can communicate so perfectly with like 5 words at their disposal

medics healing each other/ one medic ubering the other whos ubersawing the entire enemy team

youre medic, your entire team is dead, you see a scout running at you with the entire enemy team behind him, you put your heal beam on that mf and SKEDADDLE

pybro <3 (i am one)

pyros "thanks" with the thumbs up

playing scout and missing every single shot on a mf whos standing absolutely still, they say "nice shot" and you killbind

when the enemy team has one kickass sniper and the entire team is just hiding until your sniper takes out the enemy one

reflecting a crocket at a mf

killing a cloaked spy as any other class than pyro (just hits different)

ACCIDENTLY killing a cloaked spy

thats it for now

toodles

[pysoch]

Good evening losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have more headcanons because I am awesome. As always, spoilers for both comics and videos. This one is gonna be miscellaneous and with all the mercs to pardon the hearts I broke with my last one 🗣️ love you guys!!!1!1 :3

(t/w for the mention of sensitive topics)

==================

- Sniper has horrid hearing. Constant "huh"s and "what"s from him due to the volume of his gun. For some reason, he's real good at small noises though.

- Scout sleeps with a fan because sometimes his thoughts get loud and white noise drowns it out.

- Engie suffers clinic depression, and since methods back then weren't really humane nevertheless good, he deals with it by doing non-bloodshed ways of s/h. This includes forcing himself to stay awake, sometimes skipping meals, overworking himself, or clenching his teeth really hard.

- Medic has seven different pairs of gloves for different days of the week, and two extra for major holidays! His halloween ones have embroidered blood stains, and little webs on the edges. His Christmas ones have a mitten design on the edges.

- Soldier wears earplugs but forgets to take them out, and henceforth why sometimes he doesn't have a grasp of an inside voice

- Heavy actually can't get pickle jars open. It's not that he lacks strength, but his palms are usually sweaty and he lacks grip. Designated opener is actually Demo.

- Spy always opts to sit in solo chairs no matter what. If there's only couches available, he stands.

- Demo isn't "ace" persay (since that wasn't really seen as anything but a mental disorder back then for some reason), but he feels significantly less sexual attraction than the other mercs. Doesn't keep him from jesting about it, though!

- Medic goes to events like weddings, bachelor parties, birthdays, family gatherings, etc, just for food. He sneaks into each and every one and puts on a fake name and persona. Always turns out the life of the party, and has made quite a few buds from a white lie of being a distant relative.

- Pyro sleeps without his optic mask, but has his upper body bundled in blankets and sheet, so he truly doesn't ever be seen.

- The mercs once played a prank on Heavy and Soldier by telling them they were both meant to be on guard of the base for the night together. They butt heads often, so through the cameras, it was a fun watch.

- Engie keeps Pyro's drawings in his hardhat. Sometimes even looks at em mid battle.

- Pyro drinks only a tiny bit less than demo, but still loves to be drunk. Throws down mad hard with dance moves when he is, too.

- Scout squeezes his bat extremely hard. He had to get a different grip tape on it because he splinters his hands real bad. It's partially because of battle anxiety, and otherwise because he wants to hit real hard.

- Spy has prescription glasses, but doesn't wear them because he thinks they're stupid. Sometimes he'll budge and put them on to read, but only when he's alone.

- Sniper hates the sounds of birds. He always snipes them, much to Medic's dismay. He keeps his doves inside now, because of that.

==============

(If you didn't know on behalf of the Engie one; these are actual signs of nonblood self harm. If you do these, it's always a good thing to reach out to professionals or family. You're not alone in this battle.) 💙

Hope you guys liked them blee3h

[sheepyazi]

Ok, I have a little head canon here, so bear with me.

So, the mercs fight with each other sometimes over silly things, they're passionate, eccentric and completely different from one another, so they're going to end up having differences of opinion on things they like or have arguments over who broke the latest appliance. But one thing that sparks fights without fail is losing a match.

As soon as that "You failed" message plays in their base they immediately start pointing fingers. Scout, Soldier and Demo usually blame Medic, Medic would point the finger right back at them for expecting him to be able to keep up with them and their special mobility methods, and if it was a really bad loss, everyone else as well for expecting him to be in 100 places at once.

Heavy doesn't usually blame anyone, he just sees losses as a learning experience, same with Engineer, although he'd still have a go at Pyro sometimes for not helping him with the enemy Spy or a sapper. Pyro just doesn't understand what's happening, but if someone tells him he did a whoopsie he'd still apologize and try to not repeat the mistake.

Sniper usually stays out of these fights, he doesn't really care since he was just doing his own job and what the others do doesn't really affect him.

And then there's Spy. His immediate response is to just blame himself for everything. His usual bravado and "I'm better than you" kind of attitude he has just vanishes like smoke as soon as shit hits the fan. He hyper focuses on his own mistakes and almost refuses to believe anyone else could be at fault.

It could still be seen as egotistical to just hoard all the blame like your the center of the universe, but he doesn't like seeing his team fight about this. And usually as soon as he opens his mouth everyone else stops arguing. Most just don't want him to put himself down like that, since they're all friends despite all the arguments, but Scout just wholeheartedly agrees with him.

Everyone knows Spy is a weak link in the team, nothing admin has done to balance things out within teams when it comes to class strengths and weaknesses has ever been in his favour really, at least not lately. And Spy himself is very aware of this, so whenever the blame game for losses comes around he'll shift blame onto himself, everyone can agree that the weak link is usually the one at fault.

Even when he hadn't done anything wrong, he'll still find something. Maybe he didn't get the right kills? Maybe he got into an accident and wasted too much time in respawning? Maybe he just spent too much time with his boyfriend in his little sniping spot rather than on the ground with everyone else? Maybe he just wasn't good enough in general? In his mind, there's always something he did wrong.

And since it usually immediately ends the argument and the only one that speaks up agrees with him, he gets stuck in that mindset, and isolates himself a little without really realizing it until Sniper or someone else pulls him back in to join whatever it is they were going to do. They weren't going to leave their friend all alone to sulk while they had fun to forget about their crappy work day. That just ain't right.

Usually chocolate and some wine is enough to liven him up again, but a bit of retail therapy and cuddles from his beaux are a bonus and speed the process up a little.

[guarshroom]

Redoing my TF2 Loadouts: Pyro

Kicking things off is my first and most played of my 3 mains, Pyro. They were pretty easy to put together due to the smaller variety of weapons to work from, here's what I got.

Playstyles: Flares and Shotguns; pretty straight forward, I'm not a big fan of Pyro's utility secondaries (Thermal Thruster and Gas Passer) so that easily narrows it down to the 2 other categories.

For a flare gun I'm definitely going for Scorch Shot, because A) it's the one I use the most already and B) Flare Jumping with the Detonator feels kind of niche enough to me to the point that the extra effects of the Scorch Shot are preferable. There are plenty of interesting flank routes to be found where a normal or powerjack jump is just barely not enough and a flare jump with the Scorch shot will cover it. (Also for the Scorch Shot haters please refer to my earlier post on the topic)

For Shotguns it's just gonna need some testing, while I do use the Panic Attack a lot, it has been some time since I've used stock shotgun and it's worth revisiting.

Easy mode: Stock Flamethrower; the ol' tried n true, consistent damage output and the air blast to tell enemy explosive classes to fuck off.

Hard mode: Dragon's Fury; kind of a no brainer since most other flamethrower options are mechanically almost identical to stock in how they work with minor differences and it definetely requires more thinking and skill to use over the normal flamethrowers with it being a projectile. My biggest worry is how well it works with the secondaries but I think I've figured out how to utilize each to have some benefits.

How it all fits

Easy Mode Flare: What I usually play already, use the scorch shot to harass enemies outside my flamethrower range, secure some kills on low health enemies trying to escape, mitigate some medic combos etc. I like the Scorch Shot's knockback effect using it to great effect to hold choke points and mess up snipers as well as to set up poor suckers for my Demo main brother to Donk into oblivion. Keeping it brief, the Scorch Shot is even more annoying when you can land the flares.

Easy Mode Shotgun: Probably will be my main Spy hunting/Pybro loadout and thus, will probably be the only loadout not running Powerjack for melee. Pretty self explanatory, spy check and vibe check.

Hard Mode Flare: As a rule of thumb the hard mode loadouts are gonna be more aggressive since the Dragon's Fury is not good for spy checking and the repressurization makes it so I need to pick n choose my reflects. That being said, this loadout will function similarly to its easy mode counterpart. Harass enemies outside the range with the scorch shot and shred anyone who gets close. The initial ignition from the flare should help me, personally, land the initial shot since I won't be so focused on landing that first hit since I will know I'm doing damage anyways.

Hardmode shotgun: the shotgun will be mostly for when I panic reflect or make a bad decision reflecting in the middle of a fight and my flamethrower is disabled for a few seconds. It's a loadout that lets me be more liberal with my reflects with less fear of being deleted because I have no access to burst damage.

So that's my thought process for my Pyro loadouts, generalized for the most part but can fill multiple roles as needed

[teakookssi]

Before I Leave You [Eren/Levi x Reader FF]

[ curated playlist ][ full story can be found here or here ]

[Overview & prologue]

➺ pairing: levi ackerman/eren jeager x fem!reader

➺ status: continuous

➺content: mafia au, crime, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, angst, lol so much angst

➺warnings: SHIT. IS. DARK. YO. violence, blood, strong language, guns/weapons, and illegal activities are all mentioned but hey, that’s attack on titan for you, so if you can handle that, you can handle this (:

Chapter 2: in the company of killers pt 1

“He’s a spy,” Jean states matter-of-factly, turning his head to where Eren Yeager's unconscious body is being held against a metal pole in the basement of one of your father’s manufacturing companies.

It’s not your area of choice. The smell of the fumes from the factory floor above is strong, but it was the closest place from Red Rose that sustained enough security for you to interrogate Eren without interruption. It was also within quick reach of your cadre. Once word got out of what had happened, the remaining members of your inner circle arrived at your location like soldiers called to action.

They surround you now as you lean against the pole opposite of where Eren is tied up near the center of the room, your arms crossed over your chest in a seemingly poised manner. You remain quiet as they all continue to assess the situation amongst themselves, but your calculating eyes never leave Eren’s face, watching him with a detached gaze as blood drips down the side of his head from the blow Jean dealt to his head.

“He’s probably working with the sniper,” Jean goes on to add bluntly. “Trying to play the hero so he can get close to Anya. To her father.”

Historia stands beside you and she frowns at Jean sternly, disturbed by his accusation. “We don’t know that yet.” Her voice softens as she eyes the harmless looking boy in front of them. “You seem to forget not all people run on an agenda.”

Connie scoffs. “So what? Is he just some unlucky lad who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

“If he weren’t such a newcomer I’d buy that,” Mikasa admits, “but there’s nothing on him we can go by to confirm he doesn’t have some ulterior motive up his sleeve.” She flicks her eyes over to your stealthiest of spies across the room. “Sasha would need to dig deeper into him to be sure — if he is to remain alive.”

Sasha glances curiously down at Eren. “I don’t know,” she begins to say, sounding none too convinced by his demeanor to consider him a potential threat. “Anya does have a way with men. They’ll seem to do anything for her, as long as it’ll win them her attention. Whether they love her or fear her appears to make no difference.”

“Regardless of his intentions,” comes Armin’s voice of reason, “he saved Anya from the hit. She’s alive because of him.”

The muscles along Jean’s jaw twitch, still sulking over the fact that he hadn’t been the one to save you. “All the more reason why he shouldn’t be trusted,” he points out bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No one is saying to trust him, Jean,” Armin clarifies. “But we can’t just dispose of him either. Not after everyone in the pub saw what happened. The townspeople know how well her father rewards those who serve him faithfully. If people find out she killed off the person who saved her, House Ymir’s reputation as protector of its town, of its people, will be the one taking the hit.”

You note the tension in Armin’s muscles. At the feeling of uneasiness in the room. Your cadre are on edge. You nearly died on their watch, despite you not giving them the chance to protect you as well as they could have, given your rash behavior this morning. They hate that they’re in this situation, that they don’t know what to make of the boy who saved your life.

In that sense, you’re right there with them.

The most plausible situation here is that Eren is being used as a pawn by one of your enemies, as a spy or assassin—pretty faces like his can get away with just about anything. No one would question them. But what has you most vexed is whether he had been sent in as a means of diversion. To distract you while your enemies concocted an attack behind your back.

You narrow your eyes at your so-called savior. Was Eren someone capable of following along with such a ploy? Could his behavior at the pub all just been a ruse? To get to you? To your family?

Your chest tightens at the thought.

If only you were certain. It would make it easier to kill him.

You force yourself to stand upright. “My guardian angel has been out long enough,” you drawl out, unable to prolong this any further. You signal for Connie to wake him up. “Let’s just hope Jean hasn’t given him a concussion.”

Connie laughs, pointing at Jean behind him as he makes a grab for Eren. “What, horse-face? With his punches? Doubt it."

Jean bristles, ready to pounce.

“Oi,” you shush at them halfheartedly. “Play nicely.”

They settle down as soon as Connie’s rough handling begins to stir Eren awake.

You watch with a cold, hard gaze as he slowly comes to his senses, letting out a groan in pain—from the hit to his head, most likely—before panic settles across his features at the sight of you and your cadre, at the ropes restraining him in place, rendering him defenseless.

“What’s going on?” he musters out. “Where am I?”

You ignore the unsteadiness in his voice. It sounds no different than that of your enemies. But it’s the newfound fear in his eyes that makes your jaw clench as he turns to you, picking up rather quickly that you’re the one in command.

The sight of it bothers you, and you don’t know why. Seeing your enemies down on their knees with fear in their eyes, begging for their life, knowing that their fate rests in your hands, is what you live for. You relish every second of it. But Eren looks nothing like your enemies. And you feel no triumph as you stand over him. Only defeat and exhaustion.

Yet your expression conveys none of this as you slide out of your coat for Historia to take, revealing your gun tucked away in your holster under your left arm and the blades strapped to your thighs. You move slowly, calmly. As if you’ve got all the time in the world.

“You’re in the company of killers,” you say plainly, carefully folding the cuff of your sleeves from your white button-up shirt until they’re tucked neatly up your forearms, granting him a full view of your tattoos. Your piercing gaze slides over to him. “But you already knew that, didn’t you.” A statement, not a question. “You can’t possibly be so blind, working at a pub like the Red Rose, and not see how the men you served drinks to were not of the most virtuous kind.”

He gulps, taking you in and finally realizing just how lethal you really are. You see him steal a glimpse to your cadre behind you, to the door behind them. The only exit in the room.

You tsk in dry amusement. “So there is some survival instinct in you, after all,” you surmise. “Good.” You look down at your boots to the small red puddle that has formed from the injury to his head. “There’s enough of your blood on my floor as it is.”

His eyes follow you as you crouch down to his eye level, his body visibly shaking.

“Why am I here?” he whimpers to you quietly for only you to hear, a small bit of hope still glimmering in his eyes, believing he can somehow reason with you. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just—” His mouth opens and closes, struggling to find the right words to say. “I promise to stay away. Please, just let me go. Please.”

You can’t stand the sound of his begging so you pull out a switchblade from your arsenal to silence him. “If you have nothing to hide,” you say, running your finger over the sharp end of the blade, “then you have nothing to fear.”

He glances nervously at the weapon in your hand as you begin to spin it around near his face. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“Then you won’t mind telling me: what business did you have at the Red Rose?”

He blinks a few times, confused. “What?”

Your eyes do not soften for him as you slowly draw your blade to his neck. He shivers as the cold metal meets his bare skin. You'd stripped him of his shirt when he was first brought in to search him for anything that might give away who he was, but his body had revealed no markings or tattoos pertaining to any of your rival gangs. Unlike your own, his body was free of scars and bruises. There was no part of him that showed any signs of being broken, damaged, or beaten down by the cruelness of the world.

It was mesmerizing. To see how beautiful that looked on a person.

“Tell me who sent you,” you say, sliding your blade slowly from his neck down to his heart with enough pressure for a white line to trace against his skin but not draw blood, “and I might just let you live.”

He shakes his head, his muscles tense at your touch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit!” Jean exclaims behind you, startling Eren as he takes a menacing step toward him. “You knew where the assassin was stationed. How else would you know when he would take his shot? When to jump in and save Anya. You needed to play the hero so you could—”

“Jean,” you warn, cutting a silencing glare his way. He knew better than to reveal any kind of intel amongst civilians. Especially hostages.

Eren’s emerald green eyes turn to you, beseeching. “Please! I don’t know anything! I swear! You have to believe me!”

Your face remains blank despite his panic as you study him closely in an almost bored manner, easing the pressure of your blade from his chest to trace random patterns delicately across his fair skin instead.

“How much did they offer you?” you bait him on. “Whatever it is, I can double it. All I need is a name.”

He shuts his eyes in anguish, a mixture of frustration and despair in his voice. “No, it’s not like that!” His wide, frantic eyes suddenly snap up at you. “I come from a small village in Shiganshina,” he begins to divulge, desperately rushing to rack up an explanation that will satisfy you. “My mother died when I was young and my father was a doctor, but he contracted a disease from one of his patients a few months ago. When he died—” The abrupt pause and dismal expression clouding over his eyes tells you the pain of his loss is still fresh, but he forces himself to continue anyway. “There was nothing left for me there. I had heard that the Ymir Sector had lots of work and the pay was good as long as we stayed away from…” He trails off, flicking his gaze to you and your cadre in answer.

Your mouth twists into a grimace. The last thing you had wanted to hear was his lousy sob story. You rise to your feet. “Listen, Eren—if that is even your name—”

Eren snaps his neck up at you with wide eyes, pained that you don’t seem to believe him. “Please! I swear—I didn’t lie to you!” he continues to persist. “I didn’t even know who you were until I saw—”

He glances at your forearm, to the centipede tattoo. But before he can say anything else, Sasha turns her head at attention behind you so sharply, you’re forced to revert your attention to the door across the room, to whoever she’s heard approaching. The rest of your cadre stand ready at your side.

A second later the door to the basement is swung open and a slim, but toned, dark-haired young man with an infamous undercut comes striding into the room. He carries an air of authority and intimidation that can only come from years of blood-stained service under your father’s name.

Levi Ackerman, leader of the Ackerman clan.

[thechickenthatdid]

bibliography

Video games:

First off I am a nerd, to be frank with you. I watch anime and play video games, it’s just that I do not look like one. One of my first ever video games that I like to play was called team fortress 2. To be honest this game was a starter game for most people who play team vs team games. At the time this game had fundamental characteristics you needed for a team vs team game. There is 9 classes with their unique weapons and passives. Scout, solider, pyro, demo-man, engineer, heavy, medic, sniper, and spy. The classes never had a personal name given to them, only a generic name. Some of these classes are simple, such as sniper who had a sniper or pyro who had a flamethrower, but there were also unique classes such as spy and engineer. Spy could turn invisible, turn into other characters on the enemy team to blend in, disrupt engineer gadgets, and he could insta-kill with a back stab. Engineer on the other hand had the ability to create three machines that would support the team: a turret with 3 levels of upgrading, a health and ammo replenisher and a teleporter. To me spies and engineer were revolutionary in the game since they had unique abilities and play styles. Addionatlley, team fortress 2 had multiple game modes and even custom game modes. The most common mode played is capture the briefcase (capture the flag), push the cart, capture the point, and robots vs human. The first three are simple but robot’s vs humans is something much different. In that game mode you and three other players try to defend against waves of robots who are trying to destroy your base. Robots in this mode could be simple, they could be robot versions of the classes such as scout or spy, but then there were custom robots. Some of these are a underwater mind with legs, a big tank carrying a nuke, flying robot heads, and giant versions of the classes as robots. I loved this game so much; it was something that I wished every gamer could experience once. To me it was like the founding father of Team vs Team games, since every game after this was based on the classes in team fortress 2. Mostly focusing on the idea of having a person who can create robots, a medic person with a healing stream and a scout who can run fast. To be honest though I was trash, and I cried a lot of cause of that game. People in games were always mean and tended to bully those who were called squeakers. Squeakers were people who haven’t hit puberty yet and had a very high voice. Even though there were mean people on the game, the community of team fortress 2 was nice. People there explained how to play the game, how to abuse game mechanics, and just win. The fondest memory I have of this game was in a special game mode called zombies which is only open for Halloween, but there is also a customed game mode as well. I remember the people in the game cracking jokes and laughing our asses off while we were being chased by zombies. Saying stuff like you got to be quicker than that, or why would you do this to me fatherrr, even though it was probably a 16 year old telling that to a 13 year old. I love the game and the community it truly is the founding father of team vs team games.

Anime:

The History of Anime: The Beginnings - Learn more at Japan Centric

Anime in its simplest definition is a Japanese cartoon which is hand drawn. Anime has been around for longer then most people believe it to be. The first popular anime that was created was Astro boy in the 1960s but were some Anime’s even before that time. Earliest anime ever recorded was a 50-frame roll of film that was named Katsudō Shashin. This anime is about 10 seconds long and it shows a Japanese boy writing kanji on a bored and tipping this hat to the point of view. Its interesting to think about how anime has gone from a 10 second film to now a modern age, where Anime movies are being made almost every 4 months. The comparison of anime movies and Katsudo Shashin just shows the differences in the skills of animating and of course the technological advance. Just like any other genre of things, there is a top three in anime. These three were given the name Big Three for their popularity around the world and the amount of profit they gained. Big three also known as some of the best Animes are One piece, Naruto, and Bleach. I personally have watched all three of these Anime’s and read the manga of bleach. One piece is the anime that is still going on to this date, being THE longest running anime in history. Naruto is a anime that almost most people start with and bleach is nothing too special. Currently, Bleach has been catching popularity recently because of a ark. Arks are like the season in Anime, each Ark focuses on a certain problem in the story and it shows character on character development. Bleach is in a thousand year blood war, which is ark that is seen to be one of the best ones in bleach. Besides the Big Three there are thousands of other Anime in the world. Each one with different genre and plot. There are some Anime’s with unique plots where the main character is a freaking vending machine, or other Anime’s where they focus on suicide and focus on the trauma to create weapons to protect others.

Fishing:

Fishing to me is where I connect with nature. I mostly fish for salmon specifically sockeye salmon, but I sometimes catch flounders and halibut. There are about three types of ways that I use for catching salmon. One of these ways is by casting at shore with a jig. Jig is a type of lure where you put bait, this case a herring, on a line and drag it in the water. This for me is my most trusted way in catching salmon. My Jig consist of cutting the heads off the herring and connected it to a plastic holder which allows the herring to circle around in the water. This circular motion attracts salmon nearby because the herring sliver scales shine in the water allowing salmon to see the sliver shine. Connected to the plastic holder, I have about eight inches of extra line with two hooks at the end. Salmon love herring, which is why most people use herring as bait, but there are two other ways to catch salmon. The other way is called fly fishing, this is usually used near the shore or in a river. Fly fishers tend to be lures that some way mimic a smaller fish or bugs. These lures can be composed of metal, plastic, string, bright colors and of course a hook at the very end. I personally do not like using these types of lures because I have bad luck with them. Lastly, the last way of fishing for salmon only works if you have some sort of boat. This type of fishing is called Trolling and one of my least favorited ways of fishing for salmon. In this case of fishing, you basically throw a jig into the water and then slowly move your boat forward. This to me is just a lazy way of fishing because you get no action of casting. Even though I do not like this type of fish, trolling is the easiest way of catching salmon since all you do is throw a lure and let it move. In Washington state laws you are only allowed to catch two salmon per day and must mark it down on a paper. This stops over fishing and allows the scientist to keep track of the salmon population

Crabs

Crabbing is a family tradition that I do at least two times a year. Recently I have not done crabbing because of the population. The two types of carbs that I tend to catch were Dungeness and red rock crabs. To me these are the best crabs to eat in Washington, Dungeness crabs have a sweet kind of meat while rock crabs have a thick meaty claw. There are two most common legal ways to catch these crabs either by hand or with a pot. Catching crabs by hand is most uncommonly used because the meaty crabs live deep in the water, but at low tide you can sometimes catch a legal-size rock crab. Pots or crates as some people call them, are traps that you throw into the water with a buoy attached to them. These pots are a iron cage with four one way in opening. Sometimes the entrances are doors and other times the entrance is at a angle so that you can get out. In the middle of these pots is the bait, which attracts the carb to go inside. Since these are crabs, the bait as I have seen can potentially consist of cat food, dog food, fish, pork, and my favorite other crabs which are rotten. After about an hour or two has gone by, you would start to pull up your pots. My favorite part of this is opening the cage and trying to grab the crabs out to measure them. The legal size in Washinton is 6.5 inches, but this is hard to measure when the crabs are trying to pinch you. Technique is everything and the technique to hold crabs is by holding it from behind. You must make sure you have a firm grasp on the crab because they will try to get out of your hold.

Clams

Razor clams are unique looking clams, but very tasty one. Buried deep in the sands of beaches, razor clams stay deep there until the ocean comes back. Once the ocean comes back after low tide, they peak their heads out of the sand to feed on the microorganisms in the water. To capture or gather these clams you must first wat for low tide and buy either a shovel or a clam gun. Clam guns are fire hydrant shape tools that you push into the sand and then cover a hole to create suction. To identify where the clams are you look in the sand and see if there is a small meteor crater. If you do see one, right below it in the sand is where the clam sits and waits. Razor clams can sense danger through vibrations in the sand so once you start digging you must keep going. Sometimes you must dig with your hands in the sand, but you much face your head toward the ocean while digging with your hands. If by any chance you dig any other way, you risk cutting your hand on the shell of the razor clams. That is why they got the name razor clams because the ends of the shell are like razor blades. The limit for Razor clams is 15 for each person for that day, but it is unlikely that you will go again for another limit.

Filipino culture:

Everywhere in the world you will find culture. You can go to all the countries in the world or the different communities in that country and you would still find some sort of culture. For me, I am Filipino and Japanese, but I know and celebrate more my Filipino culture. First off just like every culture Filipino culture is family based but family is term is given to everyone. For instance, let’s say I meet a friends family, instead of calling them Mr. or Mrs. I must call them either Tita/auntie or Tito/uncle. Even friends who are also close would be considered family by default. The term family is thrown so much that sometimes you do not even know who is related by food or by a relationship. To us though that is not a negative thing or idea, family is very important to us and will always have the backs of your family members regardless of bonded by blood or loyalty. Another majorly made about Filipino culture is that we love to party. I will not like parties can got anywhere between 7-12 hours which in retrospect is only half a day but trust me it is exhausting. These parties can be anything and I mean anything to a truing of sixteen (like a quinceañera), engagement, any major sport, church, birthday, wedding you get the idea of course. One personal thing that all kids at a party can understand is wanting to go home and parents say in a minute. I don’t know how this came up but it is just in the culture when your family or someone says we are leaving in a minute, that really mean 3 or 4 hours. You can ask any Filipino if this is true and they will agree with me. Food is also a main part of how we represent our culture. Since the Philippines has been invaded many times from different countries cultures are mixed into the Filipino culture. Even so we still have iconic foods, which to me are Chicken adobo, Pancite, lumpia, leche flan, and of course Halo Halo. I will only explain three of the five given because I believe you should experience the food to understand it. Lets start with Chicken adobo, this is a simple dish which the main part is of course chicken. Basic but most important ingredients is soy sauce, bay leaf and whole peppercorn balls. You basically just boil it with some other ingredients, which depends on which part of the Philippines you are at. To me this is the staple of Filipino culture regarding food because of how known and easy it is to make. The second food, leche flan, is a very soft dessert which is made up of sugar, egg yolk, evaporated milk and condensed milk. If you ever had a poached egg the softness and delicateness of the egg is like leche flan. But the sweetness you receive from each bite is something you just must taste. Lastly, there is Halo Halo. Halo Halo is a dessert that comes with beans, crushed ice, evaporated milk, taro/ube ice cream, sometimes leche flan, strips of coconut and jellies. All of this would then be mixed into one ice like smoothie. To me this is the best thing to have on a hot day in the summer because its like a popsicle but 20 times better but also 20 times as much sugar.

Japanese culture:

Japanese culture for me is something I do not know as well as my Filipino side, but I know that the culture comes from hunting and gathering. I am the only kid from the Japanese side of the family who knows the age-old secret of my family hunting and gathering. I have said this previously that I have been taught how to fish, how to get clam and crabs, but I was also taught how to hunt for mushrooms. This is a tradition that I have recently been taught. You need specific conditions for mushrooms to bloom and more importantly for it to be safe to gather. Washington is the best place for mushroom picking and my family realized this when they first moved here. Each family member has a certain place to find mushrooms, personally I have not found my own, so I must use my uncle’s place. The mushrooms that we pick is oyster, lobster and Matsutake. Oyster and matsutake mushrooms look very similar to mushrooms that will cause irritation or death, so my uncle has taught me to distinguish them. It’s been a pain because mushroom picking process sucks if it is not a warm day. That’s why I said earlier that Washington is good conditions for mushroom growing because it is, but you would still like to have a nice day for mushroom picking. One where you don’t bombard by hail or rain and not thrown off a Hill.