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go-ldy · 4 years ago

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I have zero self-control, so, if you're up to it: best and worst episode(s) of Riverdale?

I love this question! Sorry for the delay in answering, I have had to give this the deep thought and contemplation it deserves! Best episodes is easier for me tbh because there are only maybe one or two episodes of Riverdale that I did not like. I’ve decided to break it down into my best/worst for each season.

I’ve tried to approach this being as objective as possible but.... you know, I am only human, and I am easily swayed when Betty and Jughead make out a lot.

Season 1

Best

1x10 or 1x11 with 1x11 having a slight edge. Obviously, the bughead angst content in both is A++ and what I am here for, but I also think that 1x11 in particular does a good job of moving the plot along while developing the characters at the same time (Riverdale is not always good at this ok so it is important to remark on it when it meets this bar!). We have Homecoming, and the incredibly awkward Cooper-Jones pre-Homecoming dinner, and Varchie sneaking into FP’s trailer behind Betty and Jughead’s back, and Veronica desperately trying to determine if her father had a role to play in Jason’s murder, and FP’s arrest (!!!) and Jughead running off at the end in a funk. There is a lot that happens AND everyone goes to a dance! It is sadly rare to have a Riverdale episode where everyone feels intertwined to the main story and where the Core 4 get to interact and develop. Plus, Jughead is so adorably excited about his and Betty’s family meeting even though they are 16 and have been dating for like two months. MY HEART. He was already planning their wedding.

Worst

1x09. It is the only episode of season 1 that felt filler. And I would still rank it higher than the other “worst” episodes on this list. But the main plot of Archie being used by the Blossom family is ehhhhhh. And frankly uncomfortable given his all too real recent past of being used by Ms. Grundy with no acknowledgment from the show whatsoever that these gross adults keep using this 16 year-old kid to serve their own purposes. So yeah, probably the worst of season 1.

Season 2

Best

I have to go with 2x14. Okay, okay 2x05/2x06 are probably better written and better plotted and have less dialogue that makes me want to end myself, but hear me out. 2x14 is the absolute essence of Riverdale packed into 40 glorious minutes:

Each couple has a spat with each other and then against each other, we get Betty versus Jughead, Archie versus Veronica, Bughead versus Varchie, and it is great???? yeah, you all fight over Hiram’s nefarious plot to buy up all the newspapers in town.

Bughead listens to Varchie have sex and the vice-versa like an hour later as normal friends do.

Betty and Veronica talk about abuelita (I must know more about abuelita!).

An entire scene where Archie wakes up early to chop wood?? At someone else’s house? Even though he’s only there for a weekend?? Again, very normal, every day teenage behaviour. And Veronica pervs on him while sipping coffee. Get it, V.

Some of the worst, cringiest dialogue this show has ever had, and that is a HIGH BAR including: “A Vughead Kiss? Right now, in the present, might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” THIS IS THE WORST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN, LIKE OF ALL TIME, I CAN BARELY WATCH. IT IS NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD, END ME.

Archie doing push ups in his bedroom, because OF COURSE ARCHIE RANDOMLY DOES PUSHUPS BEFORE BED AND ALSO WHEN UPSET HAVE YOU SEEN HIM. And then Veronica propositions him for sex and Archie, still mad about Vughead, turns her down. And this is an actual scene that takes up time in a 40 minutes episode??? I love it.

Lodge Lodge

They play monopoly

And then get attacked by home invaders!!!

Who Archie chases into the woods only for one of them to be killed by Andre so that Hiram can later frame Archie for a murder he didn’t commit.

anyway 2x14 is the best episode of Riverdale maybe ever, tell your friends.

Worst

2x11 for the reasons @arsenicpanda has articulated before - mostly involving the clumsy way that the writers tried to parallel the Serpents to the plight of Native Americans. And Jughead’s awkward white saviour plotline, eugh. Although bonus points for Archie trying to wrestle to impress Hiram for some reason?? I can’t hate it.

Season 3

Best

Season 3 has a lot of contenders. I’m torn between the parentale breakfast club episode (which also featured crazy-G&G-Jughead, a fave of mine) and the Prom episode, but I’m going to go with 3x20, Prom Night because this episode is a sheer delight from start to finish. Hal Cooper fakes his own death by cutting off his hand and then he replaces it with a hook - legends only. CHONI FOR PROM QUEENS until the dream is killed by Edgar. U KNOW that is when Cheryl started reconsidering the whole Farm business even with the whole being able to talk to Jason’s corpse thing.

Bughead investigate shit and make great faces. Varchie go to prom as the least platonic “friends” ever and it is adorable. Everybody somehow wears the best outfits even though Bughead changed the Prom theme the night before. Betty being chased through the school by the Black Hood/her dad is legitimately terrifying. 10/10.

Worst

3x09, hands down. I have a lot of beef with this episode. My main beef is that 3x08 ends on this great cliffhanger and there is zero payoff? Jughead and FP come home to find the town is under QUARANTINE, no one is allowed IN OR OUT, and then in 3x09, he is snuggling in bed with Betty and it was like????? but what about the quarantine?? how did you get back in?? honestly the first time I watched 3x09, I thought I must have skipped an episode, but NOPE, the quarantine cliffhanger was waved off and I will never forgive them for this.

Secondly, most of this episode is spent in Archie’s feverish dream/hallucination and I just find dream episodes real dull, sorry Archie. I love that Archie tried to box a bear, I mean good for him, but the the dream sequences are boring.

Season 4

Best

A tie between 4x14 and 4x15. I just love these two episodes. The Preppies are legit the best villains this show has ever had (especially Donna, my love <333). There were real stakes for the Core 4, and even though I was pretty sure Jughead was not dead, I was still insanely happy to see him again in 4x15. Betty threatening Donna in the woods while wearing Jughead’s sherpa is a total bamf move, MARRY ME, BETTY COOPER. Jughead’s faux funeral is a+. Even the BA fake dating scheme (before it went horribly awry in the following episodes) is hilarious to me. Like, what kind of horrible plan is this?? if Betty seriously dated Archie following Jughead’s death, she would need therapy STAT, but the town of Riverdale is just like “oh ok I guess Jughead is dead.” Okay, sure. Plus Donna taunting Betty over the fact that she apparently can’t go two hours without needing to bone Jughead and therefore Betty’s plan was doomed to failure. How was this a real scene that happened. Oh my god, these episodes are so great.

Worst.

4x17. I mean, obviously. Please don’t make me have to explain.

#arsenicpanda #riverdale #riverdale discourse #bughead

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twilightofthe · 5 years ago

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In celebration of Mutual Acquaintances.. Satine: 5, 6, 7, 8, 28, 31, 42, 47, 48; Obi-Wan: 7, 8, 12, 14, 27, 31, 33, 47, 48; Padmé: 4, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 19, 28, 33, 34, 39, 42; The Disaster Boi: 10, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22, 28, 29, 31, 33 and bc we all need more sexuality headcanons, 13 for ALL of them

Whooo-WEE here we go, thank you! Get ready for VERY VERY LONG Rambling!

SATINE

(5) Cleanliness habits: Oh, she’s a total neat freak. Everything in her office is minimalist style and organized to a T. If someone moved something even an inch, she’ll be hounding everyone about who was messing with her stuff. Constantly washing hands, very clean, doesn’t like dust on stuff at all (has a bit of a dust allergy, actually. Lily pollen getting everywhere is a Problem for her). She’s practical, however, and if she HAS to get down and dirty, she will-- of course not without a suitable amount of icky faces made plus a side of complaints xD

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu: Ok so we’ve got canon showing her eating meat, but don’t tell me Super Pacifism Lady wouldn’t IRL be that one ubervegan friend of yours on Facebook who’s constantly posting weird things about it and you gotta be like “aight Katie chill”. ANYWAY, so I’d say Satine in canon eats healthy-ish? She’s not the biggest fan of breakfast foods and is always up in the morning doing stuff, so she sometimes forgets to have anything besides black coffee. She’s not a particularly picky eater so she’ll eat whatever the cook is serving that day, but she prefers simpler meals, and can cook for herself (which came in handy during the Year On The Run because neither Obi Wan nor Qui Gon can cook for shit (my canon is no one in that line besides Anakin can cook and I’ll die with it) and eventually Satine was like “guys, I’m sorry, but no, u can’t try and protect me and then poison me at dinnertime. I’ll cook”). She does like to pair her evening meals with whatever drink she’s having that night. I also h/c her as a functioning alcoholic, so she’s always got SOMETHING to drink, but she is trying to work on restraint and control because when she was younger it got... Not Good at one point. She also has a sweet tooth though, and she really likes chocolate!

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Satine is a... twitchy.... individual with a stressful job, so she is kinda conditioned into stressing the heck out if she’s got too much free time. Therefore, a lot of her free time is spent trying to relax. Cleaning is theraputic for her, so she does clean (yes, there is a cleaning droid but it is nOT GOOD ENOUGH) when she can. She likes that Mando sword box game we saw Sabine and Fenn Rau playing in Rebels, it clears her head and lets her practice problem solving. She likes going for walks too. She’ll sneak down to the kitchens and just make a bunch of sandwiches. She does enjoy beautiful things, so I’d say shopping for dresses or browsing art galleries is good too. I also think she’d be the type to read and write poetry, then save bits she likes.

(8) Indulgences: Look, Satine likes Nice Things, ok? She does consider fancy wardrobe and buying nice paintings a bit of an indulgence, but she adores color so she excuses that as promoting happiness for the people. As so she does a fancy ship and other fancy trinkets around the house. She’s not a huge fan of most people touching her, but she allowed a massage once... she would be amendable to perhaps another in the future......... Scented candles are nice too, clears the head. She refuses to consider chocolate an indulgence because it is obviously the gods’ gift to humanity, excuse you. Are we calling lusting over her secret forbidden boyfriend an indulgence????

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy? The sad thing about Satine Kryze is that canon wise, she is extremely lonely. Literally everyone she trusts betrays her at some point-- which also makes worst enemy pretty hard too. In my verse, this has led to her kind of shutting away from friends because people always leave her-- though I’d say she’s always been close with Padmé; she sent aid to Naboo after the Federation Blockade and got to know and became extremely impressed with the young Queen, and they kept in touch afterwards. Whether they could be together or not, I’d always say Obi Wan was her best friend too because that’s ALWAYS necessary in a relationship, and they clearly stayed in contact and knew each other like the back of their hands. I’d honestly say her worst enemy is herself, cliché as it is, because girlie makes a LOT of mistakes-- and then never learns from them or even acknowledges they exist besides an “oh whoops, that happened, we fixed it, everyone as you were”. I get it wasn’t meant that way, but she legit committed ethnic cleansing against her political opponents. I hate to say it, but there are very valid reasons for a lot of people to Not Like Her (none of the guys who attack her on the show count because they’re literally all douchecanoes fuck them), and she kind of shoots herself in the foot trying to fix the problem but making it worse. I h/c her as having a lot of self-loathing problems because she is trying to fix things but nothing ever works and that must be her problem so she must try harder without ever confronting what exactly her problem is.

(31) Most prized possession: Woah, never really thought of that. As much as I want to say “pressed flower from Obi Wan”, that’s a little too sappy. I’m going to go with this. There is a famous Mandalore version of The Art of War, and Satine has an uber-extremely-rare first edition copy given to her from her father, who was a master strategist and had the wealth and power to collect nice things like that. Satine may be a pacifist, but she has her family’s warrior’s spirit, and she enjoys adapting the book’s battle strategies to her own political fights and how she shapes her own life. It’s an actual old paper book, so she keeps it in a locked box under her bed and only ever reads it by candlelight with special gloves on to protect the pages.

(42) Hobbies: Like I said before, cleaning, writing poetry, the occasional cooking. Oh! Whenever she has Korkie over, she lets them pick the activity they do. This may or may not lead to Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore getting very invested in Space Mario Kart. She’s good at it too! So yes, gamer girl, and she also likes looking at art and she’s also also pretty good at dancing and yoga, which she does a bit of both for exercise. She also enjoys watching shows at the theater, but she’s weird in the way where she refuses to watch TV or movies because they’re “not as good”.

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal: I’d say trust is the most important thing for her, given how many things go wrong in her life. Someone she can trust to be herself around instead of The Duchess and can both support her when she’s falling but also call her on her bullshit (or try to, anyway) when needed. Again, she likes nice things, so she tends to fall for super attractive people lol. Another thing is, she likes to feel safe. She goes for the protectors, those who fight for everyone and can come back and hold her tight in a hug if she feels like she’ll fall apart because she sometimes needs someone to protect her too. They also have to be as smart as she is (only smarter if they’re not a dick about it) so she can have intellectual conversations (indignant yelling matches), and she needs someone who can match the firecracker she can tend to be, someone who can jump right in after her. Not a weakling, basically xD

(48) How do they express love: She just says it (”I love you”), if they’ll let her. If they don’t let her or she can’t for some reason (*coughOBIcoughcough*), she becomes frustrated because she isn’t always the best, emotion-wise, and she worries she’ll make the wrong gesture or do something to mess up, so frustration can build towards the other person so she can also be very snappy at them. In general though, familial or romantic or platonic, it’s just lots of soft smiles that no one else sees, letting them see her in casual clothing, teasing them or telling jokes, trusting them enough to tell them about the confusion and stress inside her head.

OBI WAN

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Obi Wan is of the opinion that time enjoyed is never wasted, so he only views wasted time as exactly that: time that could be spent doing something but is instead being wasted not doing anything or doing something he doesn’t like. His favorite things to do when he has time to himself are read (he’s not picky, he’ll read most things with an interesting plot, though he does enjoy a good mystery or historical nonfiction), watch trashy tv shows (he’s only watching them to judge how bad they are, it’s Anakin’s fault, really, he watched them first, and Obi Wan just needs to know what happens next--), sketch random objects (he’s a pretty good artist, and it’s relaxing), do research on stuff because he is a NERD, go bug Anakin and/or Ahsoka because he honestly delights just sitting in their company and hear them talk about their day, drink with friends, spar (with Anakin, preferably, he’s the most of a challenge because he knows him so well, and he’s the only one who doesn’t hold back at all), sit in the Temple gardens and check on Qui Gon’s favorite flowers he planted there and bask in the serenity of it all.

(8) Indulgences: Ooooohhhh this is hard because Obi Wan is so Obi Wan about that sort of stuff, it can be difficult to read what he would do xD I’ll say he indulges in food? That while Jedi probs have a pretty strict health food diet, on the weekends or once a weekday he indulges in getting nice stuff for breakfast, ice cream for dessert, fried food at Dex’s because why not, it tastes good and Anakin did a good job today or he did a good job today and that deserves something, so oh well, he’ll just work out harder tomorrow. He’s also has some very nice old teas he saved from Qui Gon The Absolute Tea Snob he’ll have when he feels he needs it, and he’s got a cabinet with like four bottles of different really good, expensive alcohols that he’ll drink when he REALLY feels he needs it. I’ll also say this, boi is vain about his hair. Will never admit it in a million years, but he is, so he’s probs got at least some sort of haircare products that aren’t exactly necessary, ya know xD. He also does like his creature comforts when available, so I’d say he’s got a couple super fluffy blankets and maybe the thread count in his sheets are a bit higher than average cuz hey, soft things are nice. He also indulges in being lovey and mushy to the people he cares about

(12) Favorite book genre: Hey, I kinda talked about that! So yeah, I’d say he’ll probs try anything, but he likes mysteries and thrillers since with a book the Force can’t give you any Bad Feelings about anyone, so the surprises are genuine surprises. He also likes historical nonfiction because he is a NERD, but he’ll absolutely pick up whatever’s at the top of the Galactic Times Bestseller’s List if it’s there and give it a chance

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies): His right hip acts up in the cold from an old slug wound there (Anakin does indeed tease him about being an old man), over half of his teeth are fake or replaced because come on, have y’all seen how often he’s been hit in the face? Scars literally everywhere because everyone and everything has tried to murder him at some point or another. I h/c him with ADD, depression, anxiety, and dyscalcula (he had to really work to be good with numbers) as well as PTSD because basically all of the Jedi do at some point (someone HELP THEM). He also has TMJ, which I also have and I project my issues. It gets worse when you’re stressed and grind teeth, so it’s valid. Idk whether it’s canon or fanon that he has some food allergies, but I am ALL FOR IT with him just... forgetting about them??? And then eating some food and be like “hwoops I’m dying lol” while Anakin is like seriously Master again? and legit ends up the Mom friend with a list of foods like “is there gonna be this food in it? Cuz he can’t eat it” and then he’ll eat it anyway cuz it looks good and Anakin is all “what do you have in your MOUTH” and he’ll be like “uh” and yeah, that sounds funny

(27) Biggest regret: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. ok so we all know how literally everything about Obi Wan’s life is a mcfreaking nightmare. We ALSO know he blames himself for literally everything. So yea, he’s got a looooot of regrets. I’d say his biggest though is not being a good enough Jedi (in his opinion) to save those he cared about (Qui, Satine, Anakin, Pads, the entire dang Jedi Order, etc.). Maybe just not a good enough person, in his eyes. If he hadn’t screwed up somehow, everyone would still be here and fine and omg someone help him

(31) Most prized possession: Luke Skywalker. Ok, not actually, but y’all can’t deny Luke was Obi Wan’s greatest treasure. I’d say actually tho it’s holos, of people he loves and cares about, in a kind of album he keeps to himself. He hates having his own picture taken, but he loves seeing the smiling, laughing faces of everyone he knows (and is reminded of them when they’re no longer here).

(33) Concept of home and family: He always feels like other people overcomplicate this. Home is where you feel safe to always return, where you belong, and family is those you love and wish to spend your life with. Now, the fact that he only really allows himself to acknowledge the Jedi as a whole as his family and doesn’t exactly allow himself to dwell on specifics like what Anakin means exactly to him, what Ahsoka means, what Qui Gon meant, because he does love everyone as a family, why does he have to define it? That’s a whole ‘nother basket of his issues lol

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal: Obi Wan Kenobi has always been attracted to chaos and danger like a moth to a flame, so anyone he loves is gonna be a whirlwind of an individual. He likes someone who can challenge him, who can test him. He likes someone who’s loud and bright, the stars at the center of solar systems that everyone else can’t resist orbiting around and Obi Wan is no different. He likes snappy humor and the amusement he can get from playfully bugging them into hissing at him. They have to match him as a team, they have to be able to work with him (and he knows he’s not always the easiest to work with) and have his back. He likes passion, he likes dramatics, he likes the kind of strange ones that other people find a bit hard to get along with, but he couldn’t love them any different from themselves.

(48) How do they express love:

PADMÉ

(4) What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy: Assuming the people in the kitchen were not making food, Padmé would fix them with a firm Senatorial Scolding Face and ask them politely if they could move it somewhere else. She can easily outargue any protests; the kitchen is for cooking and she needs to make dinner! If ppl were making food in the kitchen, Pads would roll up her sleeves and ask what she could do to help so it would be done faster and she could get started. She grew up with her mother insisting her and Sola help out with all the household chores, kitchen duty included, so she’s a fine cook. Anakin learned to cook from his mother too, so sometimes their husband/wife bonding time will include just making dinner together and enjoying each others’ company. In an OT4 situation with Obes and Satine, Obi Wan is the only one out of the four of them who Cannot Cook and is legit banished from the kitchen except for making drinks/certain desserts, so it ends up with Anakin, Padmé, and Satine all talking and laughing while preparing food while Obi Wan pouts sits in the doorway and talks from there

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu: Ok, so you know how I said Satine can sometimes get distracted by work and skip breakfast? Well Padmé is like that but worse. She gets so busy with duties, she just forgets to eat for very long periods of time, and then she’ll be doing something and be like “woah, I’m hungry, I don’t think I’ve eaten today,” and Sabé/Anakin/Bail/whoever she’s with will just be like padmé nO. When she does eat, however, she is one of those crazy people who Does Not Like Sweets. Like, at all, they just don’t agree with her. Anakin is scandalized. Satine is scandalized. Everyone is. She just doesn’t like them. She’ll eat fruit, but that’s as sweet as it gets. So when she does remember to eat, or if she’s going out for a dinner, it’s usually something pretty healthy-- though Pads will confess to a weakness for nice cheeses. There’s also this one really greasy bad fried chip thing that she’s got a secret weakness for. Padmé’s also not a huge alcohol person; like, she’ll drink when others do, she’s not a lightweight or anything, but she won’t seek it out herself, just, something about the taste, and she doesn’t like not being in control of her head.

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Honey, Padmé is from Naboo. The luxury planet. They know how to lazily waste time in style. She loves long baths and listening to classical music, walking in nature (she loves flowers), practicing new hair styles, facials and manicures. She also reads the gossip columns (no she doesn’t, you never heard that) because she needs the tea. She just do. She likes to read and study new languages (because she is Queen Overachiever) or just add to her bucket list of Ways To Improve The Galaxy. Padmé totally has a Space Pinterest. In reality, she trained herself from a young age how to relax so being a teenager in planetary politics didn’t literally kill her.

(12) Favorite book genre: ROMANCE! It’s canon that Pads is just such an ushy, gushy romantic of a person, so she likes stuff like Space Jane Austen and all the other romantic books. She refuses to associate with Anakin’s trashy dollar romances, she thinks they’re bad writing. He does not agree. He also called one of her faves boring once. They do not discuss books. But also Padmé likes political history and civilization books cuz politician, and she’s pretty into the mysteries like Obi Wan is. She likes religious texts too, learning about different ones, she finds it interesting. Reading can be hard for her because I h/c her as dyslexic, but she loves it too much.

(18) Favorite beverage: Spiced cider. She could get it homemade back on Naboo; cool and refreshing when iced but warm and tangy and perfect when heated.

(19) What do they think about before falling asleep at night: If Anakin’s not with her, she always thinks about him not being there. She can’t help it. If he is with her, she thinks about how much she loves him. She also tends to do a mental to do list every night of what she needed to do before bed and if she’s gonna allow herself to sleep now or not. She also has another mental to do list so she knows what she’s gonna do when she wakes up in the morning. With the damned war dragging on, more and more nights are spent going to bed troubled and worried for the future. She also daydreams, though, of what she can do after. Her happily ever after.

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy?: This is hard because Pads is so friendly with everyone!!! Queen’s Shadow really made me fall in love with Padmé and Sabé, but I’ll always be a sucker for the canon and fanon where Padmé’s best friend is Bail Organa. I’m sorry, but Bail is just a cinnamon roll of a human being, and he’s such a calm, levelheaded friend for Pads where she can be a bit overeager and chomping at the bit sometimes, but he’s also ALWAYS got her back and she can talk to him about stuff and ahhhhh and he literally raises her daughter as his own and gahhhhhh. Is it messed up if I almost want to say Padmé’s worst enemy is Anakin? I mean to be more general: her worst enemy is the Sith, as they destroyed the Republic and her entire life’s work and corrupted her husband and depending on if you believe the “draining life forces” theory (which I do) they killed her. But Anakin was the one who got past her defences, took her by surprise, and unknowingly ended up playing the most active role in her destruction, which is immensely tragic for both of them because all he ever wanted to do was love her (*crying*).

(33) Concept of home and family: For Padmé, home isn’t so much a place, but an idea of where you can feel closest and most at one with those you’ve decided to share your life with. Yeah, she’ll always love Naboo, but you saw how choked up she got in that TCW episode where Anakin called her Coruscant apartment “home”; for her, home is a state of mind. Family is a bit different; she’ll always have a bit of an idealization towards her own parents’ marriage and how she’s seen Sola’s, and how families developed from that. Canon shows she’s envious because she can’t have that, the 2.5 kids and a dog with a white picket fence outside and a large backyard mentality. She has issues over being separated from family; she had to drop the Naberrie name to go into politics, so I’m guessing there’s some distance felt there, and she can’t even publicly acknowledge her own husband as her husband, so she’ll cling to the idea of a “perfect” family as a someday, as a maybe, and working towards that someday and the long goal she can forget just how complicated and messy her real family-- her parents and sister, her husband, her husband’s new adoptive sister, her husband’s boyfriend, his weird side of the family --is. It’s even more pronounced when everything is falling apart in Revenge of the Sith and it’s obviously falling apart and Anakin is obviously Not Fine, she tries to retreat and take her comfort in “oh but when the baby comes and we can be a Family, things will all work out perfect! It’ll be okay!!!”

(34) Thoughts on privacy (are they a private person, or are they prone to TMI): Padmé is an extremely private person. She’s been in the public spotlight since she was thirteen years old. Everyone’s always staring at her, what she’s wearing, what her opinions are, how she acts, who she’s with. Padmé has nearly nothing she doesn’t have to share with the public eye, so what she does have to herself she tends to hoard and not show anyone except for those she implicitly trusts. Now, whether she’s any good at keeping secrets is a whole other story, but she certainly tries!!! xD

(39) What recharges them when they’re feeling drained: Anakin can make things better or worse for her depending on the mood he’s in and the mood she’s in, but he usually makes her feel better just by showing up and being a dork. She likes her greasy chip snacks and a good book, but she’s a sucker for a good spa day complete with fluffy, comfortable clothing. Also, Padmé loves cat naps, and is the queen of setting an alarm and taking short power naps that actually have her waking up refreshed.

(42) Hobbies: Is creating new outfit designs via Space Pinterest a hobby? Because Padmé does that. Padmé is also the type of person to have a Space Candy Crush problem, and I completely believe that Satine got her into Space Mario Kart (Satine’s actually pretty good at it and Pads isn’t good at it at all, so it’s in no way fair, but they have fun xD). Padmé loves creating flower arrangements too, just creating beautiful things makes her happy. She loves calling one of her handmaidens over and having martial arts practices because she needs to stay ready to defend herself, but also it’s just fun and she’s a good fighter. Padmé’s also into scrapbooking, she makes a bunch of adorable books she puts together, and she gave one to Anakin on their first anniversary and he cried (she hides them, don’t worry).

AHHHNAKIN...

(10) Neuroses: Hooo boy, there’s a lot! Okay, so Anakin is a very handsy person. When he’s nervous or uncomfortable or stressed, he’ll always need something to do with his hands, whether that be fiddling with his clothes, tugging at his hair, messing with the digits on his mechanohand, poking at the wall patterns or other objects. In general, he hates sitting still and has a tendency to fidget if he has to for too long. He will also either stare you directly in the eye or dislike making eye contact at all, depending on his mood. Fiddling with machine parts gives him something to focus his mind and his hands on, so that’s a real big help for him if they’re available, often times he just keeps scraps in his pockets for specifically this purpose. He’s sort of aware he does this, but he doesn’t like to think about it much because that would mean thinking why, and if you try and point any of them out to him he’ll get embarrassed and probs just snap at you.

(12) Favorite book genre: Anakin really isn’t much of a book person. It has to do with his focus issues (I h/c him as ADHD), they just aren’t really able to draw him in enough to keep his attention. It frustrates him because that’s another reason why ppl imply he isn’t smart, which is dumb, he can read just fine, he just doesn’t like to. He does like the trashy penny romances I mentioned before. What can he say? He’s a sucker for the drama and swooning and Epic Proclamations of Love. He’ll read books about the latest ships and speeder models too, because he’s interested in that. He’ll also read tactical strategy books too, because of the war and all. It’s just not his go-to form of entertainment.

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies): Metal hand. Eye scar. At one point is one big giant asthmatic burn scar who’s like 80% robot. But we’ll focus on Anakin as of now. When he was a child, some brute in the market cracked him hard across the back with something heavy. It damaged his spine, and Shmi was terrified for a while he’d never walk. Thankfully, he recovered, but now his spine is funny as in it is super flexible. Like backbends where it looks like he’s snapped in half, that flexible. It gives him fantastic advantages in acrobatics and combat, but it also means he can do that creepy walk the girl from The Ring can do. He has managed to successfully scare the living piss out of Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka, Rex, and multiple others on different occasions by emerging from the shadows in the middle of the night doing the Ring walk. No one was pleased. Yoda thinks it’s hilarious though. Anakin gets hit in the face just as much Obi Wan does, so he also only has like less than half of his real teeth still in his mouth. Is also covered in various scars from people trying to kill him dead. In total, I project many mental illnesses onto him, so I say he has anxiety, ADHD, BPD, and PTSD. His super strongness in the Force means he is a complete lightweight, so alcohol is an uh oh for him; the only positive is that he never gets hangovers. It also means that Force sensitive objects may suddenly go flying at his head when he’s just trying to casually stroll through a creepy old temple. I also h/c that Anakin is allergic to tookas/lothcats. No other animals, just them. And it’s hilarious when on one occasion some kittens made their way into a briefing room and he just bursts into a sneezing fit, which, why are you all laughing at me? and then Rex points out the little kitten just perched on the top of his head. Poor baby actually does chafe pretty badly from sand too, so his hatred isn’t completely unwarranted.

(18) Favorite beverage: Coffee with a gazillion lumps of sugar in it, protein powder because he’s all about the grind, a hint of space chili pepper, and like a dozen other ingredients that should Not Go In Coffee (one of the ingredients Is Bugs). Obi Wan claims he tasted the concoction once and had hallucinations. Ahsoka says she saw a drop melt the edge of the tabletop. Padmé won’t go anywhere near it. Anakin says they’re all cowards; it’s the only thing that can get him up and focused in the morning.

(20) Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?: I h/c that amongst the slaves, Shmi was the local medicine woman. Therefore, Anakin as a child was constantly getting first exposure to all the local sicknesses and building up immunity, so besides one bout of food poisoning, he never got sick as a kid. Once he got to the Temple... well, he was past the age where all the other kids had gotten vaccinations, Obi Wan, bless him, hates dealing with medical and was distracted by everything else and kind of forgot to make sure Anakin was up to date with everything, so he caught EVERYTHING. EVERY LITTLE THING WOULD MAKE HIM SICK. HE HATED IT. OBI WAN HATED IT BECAUSE THE ONLY SICK PATIENT WORSE THAN ANAKIN IS HIMSELF. IT NEVER ENDS. ANAKIN IS TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD AND STILL CATCHING SHIT LIKE THE SPACE CHICKEN POX. THIS ISN’T FAIR.

(22) Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?: Lots of writings of stuff like “Padmé Skywalker” or “Anakin Kenobi” cuz Ani is at heart a 12 year old girl. Ok ok ok, but actually, there would be lots of different stuff on the page. Mathematical calculations for ships and designs because he is a canon engineering nerd and I h/c he’s a whiz at math. Also little doodles. Anakin’s not a bad artist himself; his style is much more cartoonish than Obi Wan’s, but it means he can do cool little actions scenes of different ships or pods, him being a badass, Yoda getting attacked by space seagulls, etc. Maybe designs for another japoor carving (I h/c he keeps the hobby). Or, the page might be folded up as Anakin turned it into either a boat or a hat or an airplane that actually flies, or just a ball of paper he set on fire because he was bored.

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy?: OBI WAN KENOBI FOR BOTH OF THEM DAMMIT ANAKIN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. Alright, alright, in reality, his worst enemy is probably more of a combination of himself and his own fears, Sidious for being an evil, manipulative asshole, and society for creating his fears and traumatizing him (though mostly it’s himself because he absolutely had the choice to do the right thing, but he didn’t). Obi Wan is absolutely his best friend though. No competition.

(29) Reaction to extrapersonal disaster (eg Oh no, the house is on fire! What do we do?): For Anakin “I burned down the Republic because you left for an afternoon and I panicked” Skywalker? “Ok, no problem, I got this. I’ve got this. No, wait, I don’t got this. I defiNITELY DO NOT GOT THIS, I MADE IT WORSE, HOLY SHIT, NO ONE PANIC, I NEED AN ADULT-- (Ahsoka: You are an adult) --I NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT.”

(31) Most prized possession: His loved ones ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And we’ve got at least six movies and a tv show telling us exactly how that did Not Go Well For Anyone

(33) Concept of home and family: Hmmm. I’d say where he feels safe and comfortable. Again, it’s stated in the show he feels at home at Padmé’s, but honestly? He refuses to acknowledge Tatooine cuz ya know, the slavery, so he never really had a strong childhood home, and while I want to say he considered the Temple home at one point, , I’m not sure he does because I feel he’s always on red alert for things to get worse so he never really lets himself get comfortable anywhere-- not even Padmé’s. Family is a bit easier for him; a group of people who love each other-- and for Anakin, it doesn’t have to be blood relations but if you ARE related by blood, you’re a family member by default and he will be Very Offended by blood relations who cut away from their families because he feels if you’re connected like that, you should love each other.

#that took a WHILE but i had fun!#hope y’all agree or at least thought ‘hey that makes sense’#feel free to tell me your own!#one (1) hot mess #our only ho #queen of my heart #peace out #team hot mess #star-crossed lovers #when we were young #political wives #the big 4

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