#placed a completely unrelated comment on. especially someone who has blocked me

[purpurussy]

ok sry i know i ranted about ppl falling for obvious bait earlier today but insisting that dnp could be in a qpr after being sent a whole ass paper about why they aren't + the quote where dan says they are in a normal gay relationship has to be troll behaviour. there is no other explanation

[namor-shuri]

Did you see that recent post about your page? Antis are so funny 😭

I’m crying because after I posted that meme post yesterday, I was scrolling through the Nashuri tag and then saw it 🥴 I literally made a dumb meme joking about Antis saying we need to be locked up, and didn’t realize someone literally said that hours prior. It doesn’t get better than that rofl. What’s sending me was their initial outrage of Nashuri [which babe, have you been living under a rock?], then the assumption that I romantically ship Tenoch & Tish from a quick bio glance, THEN after all of the “horror” and “shock”, they proceed to not block me. You’re telling me you posted screenshots of you blocking my page to ultimately not…..block……me? Righhhhhhhttttttt *rubs temples*

- - - - - - - - o o O o o - - - - - - - -

I literally don’t owe anyone this BUT this is for the folks that are new to my blog/Nashuri fandom/etc:

#1. Hey 💜 This is BOTH a Nashuri [Namor x Shuri] blog AND Tenoch Huerta + Letitia Wright appreciation blog. What does that mean? It means my blog is about anything related to A. Tenoch Huerta + his life/roles etc B. Letitia Wright + her life/roles etc and C. Their adorable dynamic together. It’s a hodgepodge of random stuff. One big ice cream shop where you can pick your flavor of choice. So Nashuri shippers interact with me, Namor fans, Shuri fans , Letitia, Tenoch and so on. You get the idea. I love how open-ended my page is and that’s why I made it that way in the first place. Everyone is welcome here and can walk away with a little bit of something. For being such a miscellaneous page, I would say the only “agenda” I push is Nashuri [it’s in my name]. The rest of my content is up to your own personal interpretation/assumptions. What you think I’m pushing or trying to say is all your take and your take alone, beloved. It has nothing to do with me.

#2. I admit that my mouth has gotten me in a little bit of trouble over the years lol. I was literally that little kid that came back with a report card with straight A’s that had a teacher’s note on the side saying “Talks too much in class”. I think and say shit ALL. THE. TIME rofl Yes, I sprinkle in deep rants and knowledgeable takes on my blog but I made this page to be a menace. I’m only here to be entertained. A majority of my page are jokes and tomfoolery. The complete opposite of “be for real”. How can I be when I’m literally shipping a fictional fish stick and a fictional woman in a cat suit?? 🤣 I’ve spoken about it before but I’m also an artist [my professional work is 1000% unrelated to this page/content lol] so alot of my page is also random graphics and stuff like that too. I love making y’all and myself laugh and it’s been enjoyable af interacting with you, especially the Nashuri fandom. Y’all are straight up comedians and say the funniest shit, which then makes me want to say even more wild shit and then it becomes a snowball effect lol. Thankfully I can tell a majority of you who do follow/interact with me are grown so you’ve picked up by now that most of my blog is A BIT. But unfortunately there’s always going to be a sprinkle of people who are clearly young, new here or just folks that don’t get my sense of humor whatsoever. And whichever category you fall under it’s okay, but babes there are a lot of 18+ jokes/comments on my page so if you are someone that is underage and or gets easily offended, please do yourself a favor and stay clear. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

#3. I wrote this on a reblog to someone’s post recently but I have a large portion of blogs blocked on the tags that I follow on here. Life has been ✨𝒷𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓈𝒻𝓊𝓁✨ ever since and it only takes .2 seconds out of your day to do it. So when I don’t see people utilize the block button, I just know their not being fr and are clearly bored. If you don’t like my content, block/mute me. Simple as that. Because chances are, I’ve probably already blocked you by now. And to the people I haven’t, I either A. enjoy/interact with the content you make or B. don’t care for it but you usually stay out of my lane and I stay out of yours so we just coexist. It’s that black and white. You don’t have to like what someone posts but what isn’t cool is bothering/targeting someone on an app strictly because of that. What are you five? This feels like a lesson we learned in elementary school. It’s not rocket science and it’s never that serious. The world does not revolve around you nor adhere to things only you deem okay. It’s much bigger than that. Get a grip, go drink some water, eat something and make sure to touch some grass today while you’re at it.

- - - - - - - - o o O o o - - - - - - - -

Shout out to that page tho! I literally gained new followers after that, so…..thank you? 😅 What a time to be alive. But for real, ya’ll have been coming out of nowhere to support and it’s been super dope. I really appreciate all the love, especially for being such a new page. I’m looking forward to future shenanigans, continuing the fun and not taking shit too seriously per usual. Live your best life, folks. Don’t let anyone rain on your parade. Life is WAY too short for that.

Ps: To my new followers, check out the post pinned to my page here. It’s a great “intro” into the Nashuri fandom and or actors Tenoch Huerta / Letitia Wright. Some things might be a little old but it’s pretty useful for the most part. My old poll results post gives you a slight idea of me as well. See y’all around ✌🏾💗

[tanoraqui]

Hey the second to last addition in that post about Minimum Wage is by Ga*ud

I’m mildly fascinated by the fact that not only do you assume I care about the (I assume) Terrible Opinions of someone who made a single comment in a long-thread post I reblogged several days ago - meaning a) I’ve already forgotten most of what it was about, but b) I more or less agree with its conclusion - not necessarily every comment on it! (which probably don’t represent every view each commenter has ever had, but are the only things I know about them), then at least its general conclusion... Not only do you think I care about this, but you also I assume I will recognize on sight a partially censored version of one of the random, forgotten commenters’ names? Because I, what, spend my time learning the Terrible Opinions of every single user of this website?

Anon, buddy, listen. I’m sure you mean well, but I earnestly exhort you to do something better for your mental health than obsessing over the failings of others. Pet a cat. Read a new book. Block some people on social media and immediately forget who they are because they literally do not matter to your life.

Also, general note: if I express, or implicitly express by reblogging, a sentiment that actively hurts or can hurt someone - something TERFy or racist or w/e - feel free to politely tip me off! As a rule, I like to be able to rethink my opinions! But if there’s content in a post from even someone who legitimately espouses harmful ideas - not someone who, like, ships a 19yo with a 17yo or whatever we’re screaming about this week, but legitimately harmful rhetoric - but the content in the post in question has nothing to do with their harmful messages...a) I truly do not have the time nor energy to care what’s the villainous backstory behind every post on this website, but more importantly, b) so many people who espouse harmful, hateful ideas, especially online, are doing so because they’re been dragged into echo chambers of these hatreds until their whole personality has become wrapped around them. So maybe the first step of pulling such people out of such hateful thought patterns is to encourage them to care about other, unrelated things, and so unwind their self- identification from the hateful beliefs. Encourage them to interact outside the echo chamber, including on tumblr posts about random topics. Because if they’re slapped down endlessly for even “good” opinions, or completely innocuous ones, the only place they’ll go is back to the hate-filled echo chamber. 

...But mostly it’s the time and energy thing. There are just better things to care about my dude. Block this “ga*ud” person and move on.

[tea-with-veth]

Q&A with Teahound!

It is I, the author of and as he fell (you walked away) here to answer all your questions. Thank you for reading and asking questions for me to answer! Slight spoilers ahead, so be warned if you haven’t finished. 

S E Q U A L? Do you have any other fanfic plans? (This is the one the most people have been asking about, so I’ll answer it first.)

Yes, I do have an idea (who am I kidding, it’s a whole, insanely detailed outline) for a sequel to this story. It would be a longer story, and bring in a bigger cast, including the sleepy bois inc, Eret and Nikki, Tubbo, Schlatt, and a bunch of other characters you know and love. It would take place a few months after the events of and as he fell and would answer questions like “what happens to Dream when he leaves the forest?” “where does Bad come from?” “why is there a war?” “will George ever actually use those goggles I mentioned him having at least twice?” “Will we see more of Technoblade? (the answer is yes obviously)” 

When will you write it/will you write it? 

I’d love to write this, honestly. However, I definitely need to take a break to focus on schoolwork, especially now that finals are right around the corner. RIP. Also, it will be good for me to take a break from writing so I learn to stop checking my email every twenty minutes to see if someone has left me a comment. If I end up writing this story, it would begin sometime around thanksgiving break. If I decide not to do it, I’ll let y’all know, but it’s the plan, at the moment. In the meantime, I might do some one-shots, so keep an eye out.

What was the inspiration for this story? 

Last summer, when I was watching the Minecraft Manhunts with religious fervor, alongside the incredible animatics (Toni Tonight, if you’re reading this, this might be all your fault) I went “this would actually make a great animated show.” I then proceeded to tell my completely uninterested sister about my idea for a 3 season anime that started off as a creepy thriller and then ended with the Dream Team coming together as a found family. 

I never imagined that I’d actually write that story. But (and this is where it gets weird) I went to college. And I had to present a paper for my English class. I really love writing, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t do a good job. It gave me massive writer’s block. I couldn’t put a single word on the paper. So I decided to write something, just for fun, and share it with everyone on the internet to get past that hurdle. 

And then it turned into a part-time profession and obsession and was a ton of fun. The end.  

What is your process? Did you plan out everything before you posted this story, or have some sort of plan? 

I’ve been writing with an outline for the last five years or so, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. I start with paragraph-long synopsis of the story, which I break up into chapters, and expand on whenever inspiration comes. Occasionally I’ll improvise things as I write, but for the most part I stick with the outline, even if it’s very basic. For example, for chapter six I literally just wrote “healing/bonding montage,” and listed a few words describing different moments, like “apple picking,” and “swimming.” 

As for the actual writing process itself it looks like. “Sit down, say I’m going to write, check social media for an hour, write three sentences, cry, watch youtube, drink a cup of tea, eat a box of cheez-its, write four more sentences, go work on a completely unrelated project and be super productive at that, cry, check tumblr eighty times, and put off the rest of the story until the last possible second, or until I really need to focus on something else (aka, homework). 

How do you write fight scenes?

Okay, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback on my fight scenes, which is super encouraging because they are hands-down the hardest things for me to write. I usually have a handful of moments I know need to happen, like, “Sapnap gets disarmed,” or “Technoblade gets stabbed in the stomach,” but the in-between moments are a lot harder. When I get writer’s block, I’ll watch scenes from movies I like (or Sad-ist’s animations) read battle scenes from other pieces of literature I like (my motto is “when in doubt reread green&gold”) or run around my room crying. For the final battle against Technoblade, I got really stuck, and ended up storyboarding the entire thing on two sheets of paper, which actually really helped.

The Question No One Asked But I Must Share: Is there a playlist for this project?

Yes! There is! I have incredibly in-depth reasons behind every song on the playlist because overthinking things is my greatest skill, but I’ll settle for listing them for brevity’s sake. Be warned, it is mostly Cavetown. 

Plant Life by Owl City

Telescope by Cavetown

Lemon Boy by Cavetown (a classic)

Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots

Somewhere Only We know by Keane

Home by Cavetown 

How are you doing? 

Thrilled, thankful, and over-the-moon with happiness. Thank you everybody, and have a lovely night. My inbox is always open, so feel free to stop by and say hi :) 

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DoA megapost (22 confessions)

Mod: So https://true-bjd-confessions.tumblr.com/post/189300138511/mod-due-to-excessive-offtopic-arguing-in-the

All you guys’ pending DoA confessions presented in no specific order, before we move into the hold, as announced above.

To be clear: I think this is a feature DoA should have yesterday. It’s completely inappropriate to force people to use deadnames and names which are related to traumatic life experiences, or be banned. 

However, *weary sigh, gesturing at the multiple 70+ reply confessions on this topic* people told me they were finding the rapidly escalating discussion to be upsetting and offputting, and that’s not my goal for this blog. ❤️

1.

I am exceptionally weary of all the DoA hate over the person who got banned over making a new account after not being allowed to change their user name. DoA isn’t the only doll forum out there. If you don’t like their rules, don’t join. I for one find their rules about on- and off-topic dolls to be unfair and arbitrary as hell, but in the end it comes down to their house, their rules. Move on.

~Anonymous

2.

Us: Sure would be nice to maybe be able to change your name on DOA.

Some of y’all: Are you asking for anarchy?? If we allow this, what’s next?? A reasonable review of outdated rules??? The rules are there for a reason!!1! The reason may be antiqued because technology has updated and changed since then, meaning there are better solutions available, but it’s still a reason so we DEFINITELY should NEVER change!! Change is too scary for me. :( You’re bullies who want to be special :((( Stop that :(

~Anonymous

3.

I love seeing people get so offended at anon saying “bigots”. How do you know it was about you ? Guilty conscience? DOA could allow name changes if they really wanted to. There are other hobbies where they forbid certain people from entering forums while still allowing name changes. It’s not hard if you really care.      

~Anonymous      

4.

Honestly the way people fall all over themselves to defend DoA against any sort of criticism (regardless of how you personally feel about the validity of said criticism, reader) makes me glad I never got into the community aspect of this hobby. It's just... stressful.          

~Anonymous  

5.

The transphobia in the comments on this blog in particular are so gross. Being a bigot makes your dolls instantly hideous. And no, I’m not saying everyone who is defending DOAs decision is transphobic. I’m talking about the one who thinks trans people transitioning is wrong and their friends. You’re gross and so are your dolls.

~Anonymous  

6.

scammers can & will get around DOA's no name change policy, it's really not that safe. also, DOA isn't the only website which allows the sale of high-value items.

~Anonymous  

7.

First it's "if you want name changes coded in DoA, offer to do it yourself!", then it's "why tf would DoA accept some rando to help code their site?" make up your goddamn mind, your argument is falling apart. 

Also when did this issue become "DoA vs trans people"? Like, I like DoA yet I also recognize it should be more accessible and updated for the modern userbase. I want it to become as good as it can be because I like the community and would hate to see it die out like so many other forum sites do. Yes, it has flaws- and believe me, the folks who get extremely upset about the idea of admitting that embarrass me- but I liked the format since I was new to the hobby. I just wish it was more inclusive!    

~Anonymous    

8.     

girlisav3rb: "this isn't about exclusion or leaving anyone out". Also girlisav3rb: "I'm just kicking your punk ass off [obvious metaphor for DoA]" yyyyiiiiikkkees      

~Anonymous    

9. 

The DOA username debate is really starting to feel like 4 people's personal beefs against each other. It isn't really about dolls and I wish it wasn't dominating all the confessions here. I don't really care about watching pomoaples, pupkinspce, aigisthewlve and tellmeifthursday make fools of themselves daily.        

~Anonymous      

10.

Say it louder for the people in the back: IF YOU INSIST ON NAME CHANGES FOR DOA, THEN VOLUNTEER YOUR CODING EXPERTISE. Don't know how to code and are just squawking about something you can't directly contribute towards? Then shut up or offer up money so the mods can hire a computer programmer to make the changes you're DEMANDING from a FREE service.        

~Anonymous

11.

God it's so painfully obvious to see how many of the people defending DoA on the grounds that name changes would destroy the integrity of the website have never ever worked on or even been part of a forum or really any website of any kind in their lives. Seriously arguing that "the database" would break if you changed a name like?? No??? Have you ever seen a server backend before? You can automate this shit, you know, keep a log of former names, just... it's not some big huge challenge??? 

~Anonymous 

12.           

I don't have a horse in the trans name change race but calling DoA one of the friendlies communities around is abject bullshit lmao. There's not a more elitist, paranoid, abusive community this side of comic books -- but that kind of goes for this hobby as a whole, let's be honest.           

~Anonymous     

13. 

THE RULES ARE IMPORTANT WE CAN't cHANGE THE RULES IT WILL LEAD TO CHAOS IF WE CHANGE ONE RULE WHERE WILL IT END THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! In my town it used to be THE RULES that POC have to go to separate schools and use separate bathrooms, but sure, the rules are the most important thing, not the people. And before anyone says cOmPaRiNg DoLlS tO rAciSm, 1) shitting on trans people IS a form of prejudice you smoothbrains, and 2) my ass is POC and I call it like I see it. Check yourselves.            

~Anonymous   

14.   

I personally think DOA should just.. go away? It’s been around for years, most people use it as reference rather than a community anymore. Everything is on FaceBook and Instagram now, DOA is pretty much just a glorified Dolly Dictionary at this point. Besides, if they aren’t going to change an Incredibly simple, easy thing to change just to accommodate transitioning people, it’s not the best place to be.

~Anonymous  

15.

I mean about the whole rules is rules is rules thing about doa: the thing is, some rules are there for a reason and obviously do need to be respected whether you agree with them or not, like don’t block fire exits, murder is bad, etc. but some rules eventually become outdated and need to be changed to keep up with society, and that doesn’t make the people pointing out that they need to be changed evil or entitled or spoiled. Imagine if we all still had to drive 10 mph everywhere because when someone pointed out that car technology had improved since 1915 and the speed limit should be increased accordingly everyone had just shouted them down with “BUT TEH RUUULLLEESS!!!” You’d be pretty interested in getting some of this “special treatment” yourself so you could get to work on time, huh?

~Anonymous  

16.

Honestly the easiest solution would be let people change their names only once and have it trackable.. as a trans dude its NOT that deep.     

~Anonymous        

17.

I notice that the unrelenting attacks on DoA are now even using the same phraseology along with the name-calling and implications of sinister motives. These are textbook bullying tactics. Next is the boycott, except that most of these people already say they don’t use the forum because they are just too “21st Century” for it.

Luckily this is just a confession board and no matter how many folks you manage to rile up here, it’s not going to affect DoA. Now, this is why I love DoA–you can’t go on their own site and spew this nonsense. They have Rules. They are Strict. They attempt to avoid drama, especially off-topic drama, and they don’t allow meanness, vulgarity or obscenity. If you’re looking for a pleasant, safe space, it’s your best bet.

~Anonymous

18.

Easy to lay bigotry, laziness, stupidity and worse on DoA mods for not just accepting tales of trauma and pasts to erase.  But the internet has always been full of lies by people trying to get their own way or escape consequences. Not just pro scammers. People who cry things like illness, trauma, disaster, family or pet problems over and over to get sympathy for demands or as all-purpose excuses. Recast ownership lies. People who never got a no before, and don't like being turned down no-how.

~Anonymous

19.

I just realized that no one understands the people saying DOA can allow name changes are the people who have actually modded forums before, most forums unless they’re running a totally outdated system use user id numbers that are linked to display names, which can be changed, and you can write a simple string of simple-baby-code to show old display names on a profile, to explain it in simple terms.   

~Anonymous                    

20.

Honestly I think that the anti-name change people are mostly just shilling for DoA because they can't believe that their precious forum with its volunteer mods could be anything but flawless. Or something like that, given how indignantly these people have *always* reacted to confessions criticizing DoA, even before the trans controversy was a thing. There have definitely been some obvious transphobes as well though, whose bile is really more suited to conservative FB pages or something. Go away!          

~Anonymous

21.   

the DOA mods can obviously change people's usernames because it's 2019 and basically every other site in existence can do it. they might have to change the site slightly to accomplish this. maybe there are reasons for them to choose not to do that, but let's stop pretending it's some technological impossibility.

~Anonymous

22.

How about this: Implement a system on DoA that indentifies users by a unique code and allow users to have a changeable display name. Changing the display name could become a paid feature to pay for the technical changes. Think of a system like discord has. It's a win-win situation. Thoughts?            

~Anonymous

[legionnaireslover]

Inspired by doctortwhohiddles' excellent post!

Here's my contribution to answering @thoroughlyskeptic...

-sending threatening asks to anyone who likes a blog’s posts, even when unrelated to the fandom : I've never seen any of these so-called "threats" either. But I have seen Haters threaten Sophie with harm. I have seen Haters try (and sometimes REPEATEDLY try) to follow anti-hate blogs - has happened repeatedly to me. And I have REPEATEDLY told them I don't mind them reading my blog (unless they become abusive, which a few of them have, so I have had to block them... but only a handful) but I don't allow known Haters to be followers of my blog.

And YES Aeltri HAS a habit of jumping all over positive posts about Sophie and Ben (so have other Haters), especially on her Twitter account! She literally went into a Twitter rage during the Flourishing Diversity event, calling Sophie a whore, cunt and a criminal!

-ostracizing someone for saying ANYTHING not completely positive about your Queen : NOT ostracizing - just NOT letting them get away with sneaky, hypocritical behaviour... having their "Sherlock/Ben fandom" cake, and yet all the while supporting and enabling disrespect and hatred for Ben, his wife and his children.

All I want from these people is honest TRANSPARENCY. If you are going to show total disregard and respect for Ben's choice of wife and their children, then at least own your petty hatred. Don't sneak around the fandom pretending to respect BC. Just come clean and stop pretending to be something you're NOT! The most likely motivation for these people to HIDE their true nature is NOT fear - it's done because they are ASHAMED of their hatred and don't want others to know about their pettiness and small-mindedness. BTW most anti-hater bloggers don't care if someone doesn't LIKE Sophie - all they care about is that they don't spread HATRED AND FILTHY LIES ABOUT HER, BEN AND THEIR CHILDREN!

-blocking people and DEMANDING others block them too, if they don’t follow your “rules” : I don’t ever remember anyone DEMANDING that someone block a Hater either. I ABSOLUTELY remember telling Haters that unless they UNFOLLOWED ME I would block them from MY blog because I don't allow Haters to follow my blog. But if they did unfollow me I DON'T BLOCK THEM. And I remember other blogs saying the same thing... but demanding others block them... nope!

-DOXXING : I think Gator PURPOSELY misuses the term "doxxing". She KNOWS that she and other Haters have exposed personal info on the internet and then she cries about doxxing when she want to play the victim card.

And I remember all too clearly that it was GATOR AND AELTRI who tried VERY hard to publish personal information about someone's address on their blogs (thank goodness they're complete incompetents and they got it wrong).

-MAKING MULTIPLE SOCK PUPPET BLOGS TO DOXX : Oh please, Aeltri is the fucking QUEEN of sockpuppet accounts!

-POSTING A MAP TO SOMEONE’S PERSONAL HOME TRYING TO INCITE OTHERS TO HARASS : Ditto to Doctortwhohiddles response! As for inciting others to harass... that's practically a national pastime for the hater crowd on Twitter!

-having people blocked from other chat sites : just show us ANY real evidence of this! If it has happened (I don't visit chat sites) these people probably decided to block Haters because their obsessive insulting of Ben's wife and their children more in likely disrupted the chat.

-trying to have blogs on Tumblr shut down JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THEM : No, it's not just because we don't LIKE them... PLENTY of Hater blogs exist and no one reports them EVER. The few that are reported are ones like Aeltri who post outrageous hatefilled and dangerous comments. Like the latest diatribe from Aeltri stating that people SHE labels "defective infrahuman subspecies" be FORCIBLY STERILIZED! Is it any surprise that some are HORRIFIED by this and demand that some restrictions be put on this kind of hateful talk?

-TRYING TO GET PEOPLE BANNED FROM EVENTS : like Doctortwhohiddles said this is specifically about ONE person... Aeltri - and that was a case of due diligence because Aeltri was hell bent on seeing BC in person and all that was done was notify the organizers of the event about who she REALLY WAS and THEY decided to take that action to protect Ben. Honestly, what did you expect them to do once they read Aeltri's blog??? Welcome her with open arms? AELTRI GOT HERSELF BANNED FROM THAT EVENT BECAUSE OF HER OWN BEHAVIOUR on her blog!

TRYING TO GET PEOPLE FIRED FROM THEIR JOBS : Well the one that comes to mind where someone had proof of it actually happening is when a person published the incident in full on the XOJane site. And that was someone who was HARASSED BY A HATER because they posted that they had seen a pregnant Sophie with Ben. As for the Haters being hounded by others... never seen ANY proof or FULL accounting given - just accusations slung out by Haters and NO receipts EVER given! The XOJane incident... I remember reading the tweets AS IT HAPPENED, so I KNOW the harassment took place. Sooooo, who are the bullies???

-SENDING THREATENING LETTERS TO THEIR HOUSE : Just post the letters please! Otherwise it's just more imaginary delusions of the Aeltri ilk - "Sophie is making PHONE CALLS to me and hanging up!! Sophie has been making harassing phone calls to me PERSONALLY!! Sophie is HAVING ME WATCHED!! She's READING my blog!! She's hiring people to harass ME!" Sure Jan!

-SAYING YOU WANTED PEOPLE WHO DON’T AGREE WITH YOU TO DIE HORRIBLE DEATHS : Well, let's look at the timeline, shall we? If I recall correctly it was the Haters who started that sort of shit talk.

THEY were the ones who started with talking incessantly about harming Sophie, slapping her at events like red carpets and Letters Live, and then that escalated quickly into wishing her to have a "sad life event" (dead baby), wanting her to miscarry, saying they wanted to punch her in the belly to PROVE her pregnancy was a sham, posting photoshopped pics of her being run over by a train, posting allegorical pictures of dead octopuses (because their nickname for her was "octopus"), and then finally this culminated in Gator's horrible "warning" post to Ben about how he, Sophie and the children would be killed for PR. So, who wins the "Horrible Death Wish Crown"???? I think it's the Haters hands down!

And this doesn't even touch all the other vile lies that certain Haters have been spewing out over the years including accusing Sophie of sex trafficking, being a drug addict and a prostitute, killing and eating babies (!!) in satanic rituals (!!!), torturing Ben by scaring his head with secret cult brands, starving him to kill him, poisoning him... all under the guise of just partaking in innocent celebrity "gossip"!

So, the question is - why should we believe ONE FUCKING WORD ANY HATER SAYS if they readily partake in this sort of outrageous discourse?

Let's stack up THIS kind of rhetoric the Haters use ON A REGULAR BASIS, against the reactions of some people who are absolutely disgusted by the blogs of Haters, and see who has a CREDIBILITY PROBLEM, shall we? I don't think the Haters would come out on top!

[kane-and-griffin]

Hey! So I know that you're the most famous person of the kabby fandom (and I love you btw) so there's something I need to tell you. I've seen a lot of people from the kabby fandom (which I am a part of it) getting mad whenever someone on twitter doesn't like Kane or Abby, saying that it's because they are ageist which I think is really annoying (like they start going off on them almost every time ) 1/2

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if they don’t like a character it’s not necessarily bc they’re ageist. I think that this is the reason a lot of people don’t like us so (if you agree with me ofc) could you maybe pass the word? I love you btw you’re an amazing person and your ff are the best 😘 2/2             

Okay.  So.  

There’s a lot to unpack here.

I have a lot of thoughts, some of which may notbe the thoughts you were hoping that I would have.  I do want to thank you for your very sweet words, but I also want to address a few things about this askI find extremely frustrating, not with the intent of making you feel bad butbecause I think there are some big conversations here worth having in a broadercontext.

First and foremost, and this is something most ofyou have heard me reiterate many times, I am a strong advocate of peopleaddressing their problems with each other directly.  If you saw someone on Twitter accuse someoneof being ageist and you disagree, that’s fair to say!  Social media is a free and open exchange ofideas.  Also, if you’re a member of theKabby fandom, and you witness another member of the Kabby fandom engaging inbad internet behavior, call them out!  It’salways better for communities to go collect their own people when they crossthe line rather than expecting others to do it. If your fellow fan tweets something mean, call it out.  We all need to do our part to shut that stuffdown and make the fandom a better place. But the right forum for that is to bring it up with the person whoactually said or did the thing you’re upset about, and not to bring it to acompletely unrelated party.

Which brings me to my second point: I’m extremelyuncomfortable being addressed as though I speak for the entirety of the Kabbyfandom.  I don’t.  No one person does.  Fandoms are communities made of individualpeople who have shared interests, but there’s no hierarchy. I don’t want to bethe Bad Fandom Behavior Police. This is especially frustrating when I getasks where one member of the fandom comes to Kabby Mom about something anothermember of the fandom did … especially when it’s something I wasn’t part ofand didn’t witness.  

And that, my dear Anon, is the big problem that I’mhaving with this request.  I don’t haveany idea what incident you’re referring to, what was said, by whom, to whom, orwhat the context was.  You’re asking meto agree with you that somebody was out of line, and that, quote, “that’s whypeople don’t like us.”  But I can’t grantthat premise without knowing what you’re talking about.  

(Also, by the way, I would urge you to let go ofspending too much time caring about whether other fandoms like us.  I can assure you, most of them honestly probablyaren’t thinking about us that much.)  

If I understand the situation correctly, and ifwe’re referring to a real incident and not a hypothetical, you’re saying that PersonA tweeted something negative about Kabby and Person B said “that’s ageist.”  You, Anon, believe that Person A was not being ageist, that Person B overreacted,and that B is the one whose behavior is the problem.  And that’s certainly one possibility.  But the other possibility is that maybePerson A was being ageist but neither Person A nor you have recognizedit.

And I cannot make that determination for you,because you haven’t told me anything concrete, and I wasn’t there.

I am also a thirty-six-year-old woman in a fandomfull of teenagers and if you are not thirty-six then it is entirely possiblethat you and I are seeing the concept of ageism from two very different andincompatible points of view in the first place.

That being said, if you want my opinion, here is my opinion.

First, there really is no excuse for being a jerk onthe internet, no matter what you disagree about.  There will always be people who love thingsyou hate and hate things you love and ship things you find incomprehensible andreject headcanons you treat as gospel, because we all fandom in our ownways.  So if you’re asking me, shouldKabby shippers get a pass on being jerks to non-Kabby shippers just because I,personally, ship Kabby, my answer to that is, “of course not, that is insane.”  Disagreement and discussion are always okay;Twitter is a public forum, and if someone voices an opinion, you get to haveyour own opinion about it.  But being ajerk is never okay.  

In general, I am a strong proponent of stayingin your lane. I’m a pretty ruthless curator of my Twitter and Tumblr feeds, soI don’t follow anyone who talks shit about Kane or Abby (I have a one-strikeblock policy with this), and I recommend this approach to everyone.  Make your social media feed your happy place.

Now, there are lots of people in the fandom who don’tlike, or simply don’t care for, Kane and/or Abby.  There are probably plenty of reasons forthis, and not, not every single one of these reasons is inherently ageist. HOWEVER!The fact that you did not see the comment in question as being ageist does not actually mean it was not ageistor that the person who called them out was wrong for doing so.  

Ageism is hardwired into the very fabric of oursociety – like misogny and heterosexism and racism – and just like with thoseother -isms, most of the time when we serenely think that we are guiltless ofit, we are lying to ourselves. And that goes for internalized prejudices,too.  This stuff is ingrained in us from birth. In general, the sameway I am inherently suspicious of white people saying “I AM ZERO PERCENTRACIST” and men saying “I AM THE MOST FEMINIST MAN TO EVER MAN”, I tend to takewith a grain of salt the words of people much younger than me talking about ageism in this fandom because I actually see it a lot.

And fam, we need to talk about the differencebetween fandom discourse about Abby and fandom discourse about Kane.

Now, your mileage may vary, but I will say thatin my personal experience, when I stumble upon someone who does like Abby but doesn’t likeKane, I agree that it frequently has its roots in reasons which are notinherently, automatically ageist.  Ittends to be rooted rather clearly in plot. More often than not, they’re still tripping up over something he did in aprevious season that they can’t get past. (We should probably save the conversation about our fandom’s selectiveforgiveness problem for another time.)  Theycan’t get past the Culling, or arresting/shocklashing/attempting to float Abby,or being too hard on Bellamy, or losing the election to Pike by choosing toally with the Grounders, or floating Aurora or Jake, or just in general being amega-dick in the pilot.  And that’sfine!  I mean I feel like you’re missingout by giving his four-season character development arc short shrift andignoring the way all the terrible things he’s done in the past shaped him intoa better person once he confronted them, but whatever!  The point is that, you’re right, thatreasoning is not, in and of itself, inherently ageist.  That’s not to say that there aren’t any fanswho straight-up just don’t like him because they think old guys are boring, forthe most part, when I see people dislike Kane, it’s a reaction to something that he did.

But we actually do need to talk about ageism andAbby in this fandom.  Because it is a big fucking problem. 

The problem with ageism and Abby is that moreoften than not, from what I’ve seen, when people dislike Abby, it’s a reactionto who and what she is.  It is absolutely impossible to separate itfrom internalized misogyny and the way older women are systematically devaluedby our culture in ways that sometimes we can’t even see as ageist, because they’rejust hardwired into us. 

Sure, every once in awhile you get an easy one,and someone whines on Twitter about “gross old person sex,” and then you canpoint to it very clearly, and nobody will dispute that we’re talking aboutageism here.  But it’s often so muchmurkier than that.  Ageism can look likea lot of different things, many of which you’ll believe are completelyunrelated.

Ageism can look like fans who show up in thecomments of the writers’ room Twitter and Instagram when they post pictures ofthe adults to say “nobody cares about them, post [whoever I personally stan themost] instead.”

Ageism can look like gifset after gifset featuring “leading ladies of The 100″ where they include Fox and Maya and Charlotte, but not Abby (who has second billing in the cast after Clarke).

Ageism can look like a blanket refusal, under inany situation where Clarke and Abby are at odds, to grant that Abby might havea point, even when the narrative is clearlytelling us that Clarke is the character at fault. The tendency within thisfandom for young girls who closely identify with Clarke to graft their own momfrustrations onto Abby is virtually never-ending, and it can be hard to sift throughthe the complex intersection of ageism and misogyny that makes it impossiblefor them not to see mothers as human beings who are interesting, who are wise,who are right, who know things their children do not, who are sexual, who areallowed to make mistakes, who deserve screen time and plot agency, who are justas vital to the story as the teenagers.

Ageism can look like giving Clarke sole creditfor establishing peace with the Grounders through Lexa, when in fact it wasKane who made the first contact with her and got her to offer the treaty in thefirst place, and it was Abby turning Lincoln from a Reaper back into himselfagain that cemented the alliance.

Ageism can look like shutting down Kabby shippersgleefully enjoying headcanons about bunker baby theory because Abby is “too oldto have a baby” – a misconception that has permeated so deeply into our culturethat we have all internalized the belief that no woman is supposed to have ababy over the age of 35 as though it is inarguable scientific fact, even thoughit may interest you to know thatis a myth.  (“What? How did I notknow that that was a myth?” BECAUSE OUR ENTIRE SOCIETY IS AGEIST TOWARDS WOMENAND THE STUDY THAT GAVE US 35 AS THE MAGIC STOP NUMBER IS FROM LIKE THE 1700’S,THAT’S HOW FEW FUCKS THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY GIVES ABOUT UP-TO-DATE RESEARCH ON THEHEALTH OF OLDER WOMEN)

Ageism can look like a fan who ships all thenon-canon ships … except Doctor Mechanic, because it’s “gross” and “Abby isbasically her mom.”  The inherentdesexualization of age-difference relationships is often rooted in ageism.  You don’t have to ship it!  But if you insist that no one should ship it, then there may be some ageism in the rootsof your ship-shaming.

My point here, dear Anon, is that if you arelooking for someone to tell you, “you’re right, Kabby shippers overreact aboutageism in this fandom,” you are barking up the wrong tree, because from where Istand, as a woman far closer to Abby’s age than Clarke’s, I’m going to venturethat we don’t talk about ageism enough.  And like many -isms in our society, if itdoesn’t appear to you to be that big a problem, that may be because it doesn’tapply to you.  (Yet.)

Now, to be clear – before someone sends me anangry rebuttal to this – not in a million years am I saying that it makes you inherently ageist if you don’t shipKabby.  Just like it doesn’t make you inherentlyhomophobic if you don’t like Lexa or inherently racist if you don’t like Bellamy or inherentlymisogynist if you don’t like Clarke.  Butall squares are rectangles, even if not all rectangles are squares.  By which I mean that, contained within thegroup of people who don’t ship Kabby, there is a lot of ageism, just as,contained within the group of people who hate Bellamy, there’s a lot ofproblematic racial shit, and it means we need to have a clearer understandingof where those lines are so that we recognize the ugly stuff when it shows upon our timeline and call it out when we see it.

[especialty]

‼️Submission Saturday Rules & Guidelines‼️ #naaruletag • how to submit: 1. read all of the rules & make sure your photo is following all of them. 2. once you’re positive that it qualifies, dm me your picture. all submissions go to @nudityasart on Instagram PLEASE don't post your submissions or send them to any other account, only dm'd submissions will be posted!! PS: when you send in your dm, make sure to add in which SS it is for (themed or regular), as well as your pronouns if you'd like, especially to my trans friends, to prevent being misgendered! ‼️RULES!!‼️ I have two accounts now. @especialtys being my main (educational/informative/selfcare), and @nudityasart being my second account (bodypositivity/submissions). Unlike previous account(s), all submissions will be sent (and posted) to @nudityasart. 1. when submitting, remember that it is completely anonymous, meaning I will not tag you and no one will ever know it’s you, UNLESS you yourself choose to state otherwise in the comment section. (If you’d like to thank people for compliments or just let people know it’s you, you can do so by commenting but besides that the only two who will know who is is, will be you and I) but this is for body positivity ONLY and a majority don’t want to be named, therefor it remains anonymous on my part. Please don't DM me asking who a submitter is, I know sometimes you want to ask where they got their clothing but I want this to remain confidential so just comment asking and maybe they will reply or someone else who knows will! Another thing, before sending remember that I am not at fault if someone gets upset about your submission, but I will kindly delete it if necessary (this has happened quite a bit, actually, between protective partners and rude friends. just send me the picture as request the deletion of the photo. only the person who sent the photo can request for it to be removed, btw) 2. PICTURES: for your picture quality; I ask that it be high quality and trust me, I know sometimes phones don’t have the best quality, but here are the easiest ways I've found to match my theme: -use natural lighting, like in front of a window, outside, or a naturally lit room. - camera flash (especially if you have a low quality camera) I know it's hard using your back flash, so place a mirror in front of you to help get a good picture! these are the only two ways I know of to get a good picture, but outside/natural lighting is the best way to go to ensure your photo matches and gets posted on my account! (ps. if you need ideas, use other submissions (posts on @especialtys could help too) as reference to how the  photos should look, and pose ideas and picture ideas. I LOVE creativity!!) 3. censoring; this is a big issue with submissions because of Instagram so I need to address it. I can’t allow full nudes or any sexually explicit submissions because instagrams rules and regulations (and once again, this is for body positivity not send your genitalia to mooma. keep ya genitals covered. I, nor Instagram, want to see that so keep it away from me thank you) but as for nipples, yes you can send uncensored ones and I will censor them for you, (by putting light glares/stars on them. If you want to do it yourself but don't know the app: star/glare app is LINE camera! the sticker is "shine" last one with the saturation turned down so it's white) but I have to be extremely cautious with what I post on my account  in order to not be deleted so I would appreciate it if you covered them with something, but if you don't that's okay too! I'll censor it for you! btw, your gender or sex doesn’t matter when censoring. I will censor any and ALL nipples! I’m censoring everyone's as a way to get some form of equality on my page. If one should be censored, shouldn't they all be? But, you can also use your hand to cover your nipples or use something else like paint, real or fake flowers, candies, (real) stickers, leaves, sea shells or pretty rocks/gems, small toys, (this will hurt coming off) tape, fruit/other foods, slime, compact mirrors, little pumpkins, small plushies, glitter, or anything of your choosing!! be creative and have fun with it, there's really no wrong thing you could use except for (basically anything digitally added except blurring or star/glare) emojis, or any type of edited sticker as well as coloring them out with the snapchat pen or any other type of pen, this includes background blurring because it doesn’t fit my theme at all and won't be posted. sorry! 4. no filters of any kind; I know!! a lot of you enjoy using the black and white filter or some other filter because it makes you look good but it doesn’t match my theme and it doesn't send a good message, I’m sorry!! please send it without a filter, because I won't post it on my account with a filter. 5. Although you don't have to be completely bare to submit, I would ask that you not have too much clothing covering yourself since this is for body positivity and it's hard for someone to compliment your body if they can't see it. If you aren't comfortable with nudity, you can always just take a cute picture of your tummy! or if you don't want to do that, a picture of your collar bones or your thighs? whatever you're comfortable with! 6. Don’t be rude to any submitters; I will not tolerate any form of negativity on my account. this is a SAFE place and I won't let anyone ruin that for me or anyone else on my page. do you know how much confidence it takes to post some of your greatest insecurities? a fucking lot. this is for positivity and appreciation!! don’t be a dick to anyone who posts, your comment will be deleted and you might even be blocked. Be kind to one another. Bring everyone who submits up, not down. prove to them how beautiful the skin they are in is. It isn’t that fucking hard and it’s free to be a decent human being!! 7. Please be patient; & don’t get upset when I don’t post yours right away. I receive many dms and pending dms, that it takes me a while to post them all. but occasionally, I don't receive dms so please if I haven’t posted yours and it’s been two weeks+ just send me a heart (sometimes you'll need to unsend and resend it) or ask if I’ve saved yours yet, and I’ll make sure to do so ASAP(: • AND REMEMBER: if you have any questions or comments regarding SS, feel free to contact me via dm or ask them on qoohme (the link is in @especialtys bio) and also via my remindapp (text "@mooma" to 81010, or get the remind app and add "@mooma") and I will get back to you as soon as I can! I love you all, don't forget to check the FAQ before asking a question x ‼️FAQ: • do I have to be following you to submit I don't see why you wouldn't be following me if you were trying to submit but yes, you MUST at least be following @nudityasart to submit. • when are submissions posted? every other Saturday for regular submissions. and once a month for themed submissions, unless I & the people who help post submissions have something come up that prohibits us from doing so, from twelve am Friday night to twelve am Saturday night! (CST) although sometimes it's started sooner than that. • how many submissions do you normally post? there isn’t any given number that I post. once I post a submission I won’t post another until that one gets twenty five or more comments. I do this so each submission gets a good amount of positivity. I don't want anyone feeling left out! for people who comment and the comments, please don’t put some unrelated comment such as emojis or something, actually take time (if you have it) to write a positive message about how a feature that caught your eye, or how strong they must be, or how wonderful their completion is or how you adore their freckles, etc. it doesn’t take much of your time and I promise you it will make someone’s day so much better. just say things that you’d want to be told about your own body  but a little ps, saying "goals" or "i would die to have this body" or "I wish I looked like this" or  "why can't I have this body" or any other self degrading comment is NOT a compliment and never will be a compliment. it will be deleted. bringing yourself down isn't what I consider a compliment, sorry! not only that, it could end up hurting someone rather than helping them! • when can i send you my submission? any day of the week! most send on Saturday while I’m posting submissions and that’s cool and all but sadly, you cut the likelihood of it actually getting posted that day by half because I post the ones I didn’t get to post last week, and then the ones sent throughout the week, first(: (I recommend sending them Thursday because I save them on Friday) • is there an age limit to submit? sort of, I’d ask that you’d be at least thirteen+ because although this is only for body positivity I am not dumb and I know some people may see it in other forms. so since instagrams age limit is thirteen I guess so is mine. although, if you’re underaged please do not send me full nudes (keep your genitals covered please. tummy pics, thigh pics, etc are fine, but I would be careful not to have full nudity so undies/bathing suits are a must) this puts me in a very awkward position. remember that your nudes are often considered child pornography depending on your state/region. and depending on your age. be careful kiddos. • if I send you a caption to post with my pic, will you post that too? yes yes! all you have to do is specify that you want your caption posted and bam! posted along with your photo ! • do I have to be naked to submit? not persay, no. not everyone is comfortable being completely naked, and I understand that 100%. but since this is body positivity, you can't exactly receive compliments about your body with full clothing so I would ask that you have minimal clothing. if you aren't comfortable with showing your stomach, show off your thighs or collar bones! • can I send you a selfie to post? no. sorry but this isn't a selfie positivity account, it's a body positive account so no picture with your face in it please. covering it with your phone is okay though and having your lips in it if yore doing a collar bone photo but otherwise no, please crop your face out. it isn't really anonymous if your face is in it.

[ievani-e]

Random Rant Regarding Ignorance (Originally posted 2013)

When I write, I do it both to simply capture my thoughts down on paper (or, in this case, a computer program) and also in order to show someone else the world through my eyes. I pour my own thoughts, feelings and emotions into my pages; but the important thing is giving those things a context, so that someone else who isn't me can still come to understand my thoughts, feelings and emotions. A story is simply a backdrop for delivering ideas: it's a stage to present concepts in a way that people can understand. Simply saying “love one another” is too abstract for us to truly understand until we learn as many details as we can: about other people, about the situation, and about ourselves. When we know people, we can love them; but it's hard to love out of ignorance.

I've been struggling with writer's block recently because I've felt like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I didn't have a clear message I wanted to portray: I simply liked painting a pretty backdrop and getting caught up in the characters. I liked just listening to their conversations, watching them live their daily lives and seeing what happened next. Writing is, for me, just like reading is for you: you don't know what to expect until you actually read the next word. Paper is a blank canvas where you can add to it, bit by bit, until you have a coherent picture which is actually kind of decent to look at.

But lately, I haven't felt like I've had a blank canvas. There's been so much buzzing around my head, I haven't been able to get into the heads of my characters. I feel like I've lost faith in humanity: something that happens quite often, actually, but I always manage to get it back. In my stories, I tackle issues such as sexual abuse, neglect, and people simply standing by and doing nothing even when it's clear someone needs help. But I've never tackled them with the intention of teaching anyone anything about them: I've simply been exploring my own feelings in a way I could resolve them and that hopefully other people could understand. I don't write with a message in mind, or a “lesson” I want to teach my readers: though of course, if they do take something away from my work, I'm happy.

However... there are times when I feel like I can't just break away from the world and hide away in my “happy place” and focus on my own novels and nothing else. Every day, I read stories about rape, sexism, racism, discrimination and hatred and intolerance in general. Now, I'm a sensitive person, and these issues are so upsetting I used to just stick my head in the sand and cover my ears and hope that these things would go away. I hoped that, by the time I pulled my head back out of the sand, these things would just magically be gone. But they're not. And I'm actually part of the problem, by refusing to acknowledge it exists and speaking out against intolerance and inequality in all its forms. I think the main part of the problem is that people simply don't understand each other. We rarely take the time to think about the world through other people's eyes. We rarely think about what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes, think the way they think and feel the way they feel. We assume that whatever we think is right and that anyone who disagrees must be stupid. We don't think about the myriad of ways people are different, yet similar. We don't think about people as individuals: there are simply people “like me” and “unlike me”.

I hate making generalisations, which I realise is an ironic statement to make given the many generalisations I just made, but I do have a point: I'm using my generalisations as a way to exaggerate an issue simply to make it more noticeable. Problems of hatred and discrimination exist. The majority of people are kind and decent and treat each other with respect, and I truly believe that. But there are those who abuse and exploit others, who seem to lack empathy and understanding: and for them, generalisations are not used to innocently place a magnifying glass over a problem to see it clearer, but as malicious justifications for self-serving, prejudiced behaviour.

Rape and sexual abuse is particularly a sensitive topic for me, and one I have explored in various ways (though by no means fully) in my writing. But so far, my stories haven't really offered me a plateau to discuss other kinds of issues. My stories are now at a point where I must keep the plot moving forward and make it consistent with what has already happened: I can't just go off on a tangent to discuss feminism and equality. When I read articles everyday about how people are mistreated, misunderstood, shunned and ostracised, I feel powerless and I have no clue how to get my feelings out in a productive and constructive way (other than getting into political debates with my friends). And it's interfering with my ability to write.

How can I use writing to express my feelings about the intense debates on sexism and homophobia when the events occurring in my story are completely unrelated? How can I use my characters to portray my astonishment at the lack of empathy and compassion some people show, especially when they are granted anonymity by the internet? How can I focus on weaving a fantasy story about make-believe characters when the real world has so many problems that need to be sorted?

I don't have the answers to those questions and so, instead of continuing my story, I'm writing this. I have written about depression, psychopathy, abuse and neglect. I have gotten into the head of rapists, murderers and the criminally insane... yet I'm just completely at a loss of words at the sheer amount of ignorance and intolerance displayed by people who comment on online videos and articles who claim that the status quo is fine the way it is and anyone who says otherwise doesn't even deserve to live. Politicians and judges who overlook situations they aren't even involved in and suggest it's somehow the victim's fault. People who mistake genuine suffering for attention-grabbing. A society which defines “gender” by its basest trait and divides humanity into arbitrary categories. Religious and non-religious people alike who think homosexuals are inherently evil.

Let me just say one thing: we are all individuals. You. Me. The person sitting next to you at work or at school. Even the creepy guy no-one likes. We are all different. We are all similar. We all have our own likes, dislikes, interests, skills, hobbies, abilities, dreams and aspirations. But the thing is: it's all completely random. Our entire existence is dictated by chance. Even when we were first conceived, we were made by one of millions of sperm cells: each one would have resulted in a different combination of DNA. We are all unique. You can't tell what someone is like just by the colour of their skin, their religion, their sexual orientation, their gender or their biological sex. You can't tell what they will like, what they will do and what they will be just by looking at them and categorising them.

So please, let's stop all this hatred and discrimination. While prejudice is born out of ignorance, I think that ignorance can actually be a beautiful thing if we embrace it. If we admit that we don't know what other people are like based on heuristics, biases and logical fallacies, it means we have an opportunity to genuinely get to know people. And learning more about each other is always amazing.

I still think that, at their core, all humans are good. All humans can love. But first, we have to stop judging books based on their cover. We have to stop letting fear and ignorance get in the way of love and acceptance. I don't want to hear any more generalisations or stereotypes lumping every man or woman into a single category. Nor people of a certain sexuality, nor race, nor religion, nor anything else. No more categories. No more assumptions or pre-conceived notions. Let's just admit that we don't understand other people very well, but — and this is the key difference — let's try to.

Thank you for reading.

[my-trashy-writing]

Instead of hanging out with Yamaguchi, Tsukishima spends his time with random girls. Hinata, Yachi and Kageyama investigate.

Here goes the winner of the last poll. It was a really exciting poll since there were only two options and, even though the winner started with around 80% of votes, right now it has only 56%.

And if we're talking about the poll - it's the last one for some time. My writer's block is really severe this time. Apart from the one fic I'm posting I have only one TsukiYama finished and one almost finished Klance. And that's all. Sadly. I have a lot of ideas and around seven more fics started so I hope that by the time I run out of the two left there will be something more. I'd really love to continue with the regular schedule of posting.

Buy me some coffee?

SFW, TsukiYama Words: 1919 Also on ao3.

(Because of reasons - I’m posting this again.)

“Oh, it’s Tsukishima,” Hinata exclaimed and caught the ball. He, Kageyama and Yamaguchi were playing around with it during the lunch break. “With a beautiful girl,” he wrinkled his nose, following the pair with his eyes. “Reminds me a bit of Kiyoko-senpai.”

“Isn’t it a different one this time?” Kageyama commented.

“Eh? You’re paying attention to such stuff?” Hinata gaped at him. “You’re right, though. It’s a different one, last week it was a short girl with fluffy hair. Is he actually going out with all of them or just hanging around?”

“Hell if I know,” Kageyama shrugged. “Ask Yamaguchi,” both him and Hinata looked at Yamaguchi.

“Eh?” Yamaguchi flinched. “I… don’t know,” he said quietly, his head hanging low.

“You don’t know?” Kageyama echoed.

“Shh, shut up, Kageyama,” Hinata shushed him, noticing Yamaguchi’s shoulders tremble.

Some time ago, Hinata realised that something changed between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. He decided to not come between the two of them, he was sure that they will deal with it themselves, just like they did during one of the training camps in the past. But now he understood that the situation was completely different. A lot of seemingly unrelated and not important details suddenly fell into place. And Hinata knew that the problem won’t disappear without any help from the outside.

*

“So, yeah, the thing is, that there’s something weird going on between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima,” Hinata said to Yachi and Kageyama, his face serious.

“Whatever,” Kageyama grumbled.

“Um… yes, they don’t really spend much time together anymore. I think that maybe even not at all?” Yachi sounded worried. “I mean, they ended up in different classes this year so it’s somehow understandable but…” she fell quiet.

“Yeah! This! And Tsukishima is constantly hanging out with girls! Even though he was always annoyed when girls tried to get close to him!”

“About that… I heard some girls talking about him and all I understood from their excitement about Tsukishima-kun is that the situation is somehow weird… He’s not exactly going out with any of them. Not officially. It’s just like… hanging around together for some time? He’s nice and all, you can even say that he’s going on dates with all the girls but… he’s still distant. He’s accepting anyone who comes and he doesn’t care if a girl stops hanging out with him. He’s not reaching out to them himself.”

“Asshole,” Kageyama butted in.

“Could you try to contribute more to the discussion, Kageyama-kun?” Hinata huffed at him.

“I don’t care about Tsukishima, really. As long as it doesn’t-” he suddenly fell quiet.

“What?” Hinata asked.

“Does all of this stuff has anything to do with Yamaguchi messing up during practice lately?” Kageyama answered with a question.

“Maybe?” Yachi hummed and Hinata nodded his head.

“I’m going to bash Tsukishima’s face in,” Kageyama got up and left to search for the blond. He found him on the rooftop, quietly listening to a chatter of some random girl.

“We need to talk,” Kageyama stood right in front of them and glared. It startled the girl and she left almost immediately, while Tsukishima only raised his brow.

“What?” he asked, though he didn’t sound interested.

“I don’t have the slightest idea what happened and I don’t really care. But it’s completely different case when it’s affecting the team.”

“Huh? What do you even want from me? Just like always, I don’t get what’s going on in your stupid head,” Tsukishima stood up and glared at Kageyama. They were staring each other down until Kageyama broke the silence:

“A long time ago, I’ve said to Hinata that Oikawa-san has even worse personality than yours. But now I see that I was wrong. You’re more of an asshole than him. Even while fooling around with girls - “ Kageyama didn’t notice how Tsukishima’s brow twitched at his words, “ - Oikawa-san didn’t forget about his childhood friend. And he always gives his all when it comes to volleyball.”

“What do you even know?” Tsukishima growled, taking a step towards Kageyama. “You don’t know a thing, since your head is filled with volleyball and nothing more,” if it was someone other than Kageyama, they would curl up in themselves, intimidated. There was a tense silence between them and then Tsukishima turned around, leaving Kageyama alone.

*

Hinata stormed out almost right after Kageyama. He was running around the whole school but he couldn’t find either Kageyama or Tsukishima. Before he caught a glimpse of the setter, it was already too late, their lunch break ended. Hinata decided to confront Tsukishima sometime later.

When Hinata noticed Tsukishima taking a break during practice, he slowly walked up to him and sat beside him.

“What do you want?” Tsukishima grumbled.

“Eh?” Hinata flinched. “Um… how it’s going?” he smiled but it seemed forced.

“Huh?”

“Well, aren’t you a ladies’ man now?” Hinata laughed quietly. “Even though you hated that?” he glared.

“Get off my case. First King, now you,” Tsukishima waved his hand as if Hinata was some annoying bug.

“I wouldn’t care if it was only about you! But it also concerns Yamaguchi!” Hinata got angry. “What the hell is with the two of you? Aren’t you friends? For the longest time I was wondering why Yamaguchi even bothered being friends with someone like you. When you were a complete asshole. And he was so worried about you during that training camp last year! When you were the only one dragging his feet!” Hinata raised his voice. “And now you’re ditching him for some random girls?!”

“Why all of you run your mouths even when you don’t know shit?” Tsukishima got up, looming over Hinata.

“Then maybe do tell, huh?!”

“I’m not obliged to.”

“What’s going on?” Yamaguchi appeared right beside them.

“Tsukishima is being an asshole,” Hinata grumbled.

“Yeah, he does that a lot. You should be used to this already, Hinata,” Yamaguchi chuckled, not looking at Tsukishima.

“But Yamaguchi…” Hinata whined.

“Don’t mind him and go back to practice, Kageyama was glaring in this direction for some time now,” Yamaguchi pushed Hinata lightly towards the court. He didn’t say anything to Tsukishima, he just briefly glanced at him and left him alone.

*

Yachi felt really troubled. She wanted to help her friends but she wasn’t sure how to approach them. She was observing Yamaguchi and Tsukishima closely during the practice. Just like she feared, they weren’t talking with each other at all. She wondered, dumbfounded, how no-one noticed this before. In the past, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were like a set, it was rare to see them apart.

Before the short confrontation between Tsukishima and Hinata, Yachi noticed something. She wasn’t sure yet, she thought that maybe she was reading too much into the situation, but Tsukishima’s reaction after Yamaguchi interrupted the fight, made her sure - even though Tsukishima was avoiding Yamaguchi, he still was observing him from afar. And the pained expression that flashed on his face when Yamaguchi turned his back on him without saying anything, made her gasp.

Yamaguchi wasn’t any different, actually. He also wasn’t approaching Tsukishima but he was constantly stealing glances at him. Yachi knew that both of them didn’t really want to be like this.

“Um, Tsukishima-kun…” Yachi started when the practice ended and she managed to catch him alone

“So now it’s you, Yachi-san?” Tsukishima sighed.

“I’m sorry for Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun. They are too hot-headed. But it’s not like they didn’t mean well. We’re all worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry, Yachi-san,” Tsukishima cut her off sharply.

“I think that’s what you want to believe, Tsukishima-kun. You aren’t hanging around with girls because you want to, right? And you definitely aren’t having fun,” she stated matter-of-factly. “You’d rather spend time with Yamaguchi-kun.”

“I…” Tsukishima wasn’t sure what to say. He might have been able to brush off Kageyama and Hinata but Yachi was a completely different case.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you distancing yourself from him? Even though you don’t want to?”

“It’s better for him like this,” Tsukishima finally said, his voice quiet.

“Better? I don’t understand how it's better. Especially that he doesn’t really seem to be happy about the whole matter. Have you talked about it with him? Or are you just deciding all by yourself what’s better for him? If you care about him then why? Tsukishima-kun...”

“I care too much,” Tsukishima whispered.

“Too much?” Yachi echoed, weighing the words on her tongue. There was a long moment of silence before Yachi finally gasped.

“Do you understand now?” Tsukishima asked. He sounded so helpless that Yachi had to fight the urge to pull him into a hug.

“You should tell him,” Yachi stated firmly, to which Tsukishima only shook his head. “No, you have to tell him. You can’t mess up more than you already did. And, no matter the result, you will feel better, I promise you. Yamaguchi-kun would be at peace too, at last knowing what’s going on.”

*

Tsukishima was beating himself about what he should do now. All he did before backfired. Everything went too far already and he was sure that there was no turning back. Reluctantly, he agreed with Yachi. He already destroyed the friendship that was between him and Yamaguchi, so a little love confession wouldn’t really make any difference.

Tsukishima was standing in front of the door to Yamaguchi’s place, nervously fiddling with his fingers. He rang the bell and waited, repeating different scenarios in his head. Tsukishima flinched when it was Yamaguchi who opened the door for him. The other stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, and then slammed the door shut, without even saying anything.

“Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima tried to open the door.

“What do you want?” Yamaguchi shouted from the inside. “Go away.”

“I want to talk with you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!”

“I have something to tell you!”

“I don’t want to hear that.”

“Yamaguchi, please,” Tsukishima leaned his forehead against the door. “I beg of you.”

There was a moment of silence before Yamaguchi slowly opened the door and let Tsukishima in without saying a word.

“Your mom?” Tsukishima asked, as they were awkwardly standing in the entrance.

“I’m alone at the moment,” Yamaguchi answered quietly, not looking at Tsukishima.

“Ah… that somehow makes it easier,” he took a deep breath. “Um, Yamaguchi I… I like you,” Tsukishima finally said, bracing for whatever was coming his way. And, just like he expected, Yamaguchi started to talk fast, his voice raised:

“What did I do to make you hate me? Wait, what did you say?” he fell quiet, snapping his eyes at Tsukishima.

“I like you,” Tsukishima repeated, feeling embarrassed.

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie?”

“Because you wouldn’t avoid me for such a long time if you liked me! You wouldn’t start going out with so many girls if you liked me! You wouldn’t make me feel like this!” Yamaguchi sounded bitter and his voice was breaking. Tsukishima felt so guilty that it was physically painful for him. Especially when he noticed tears in Yamaguchi’s eyes.

“I don’t hate you, I couldn’t ever hate you,” Tsukishima said quietly, not sure what to do.

“Then act like it!” Yamaguchi was glaring at him, desperately holding back tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I really am sorry,” Tsukishima moved fast to hug Yamaguchi tightly. “I never wanted to hurt you, I thought it would be better like this.”

“It wasn’t,” Yamaguchi sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“What should I do now?”

“Like me properly.”

[the-wellbeing-warrior]

Wellbeing responsibility & Social Media

I am an avid user of social media, it does of course get a bad press, in particular these days, and of course there are some bad eggs with some questionable behaviours on it but overall, it is not too bad and the one thing that it can do is allow us to see what content we want but also block out what content we do not.

However, one of the biggest problems for me Is the practice of sharing or retweeting stuff we do not agree with. Now I am not saying people who are say homophobic, or racist or whatever else should not be called out on their ignorance but one thing I cannot fathom is the unrelenting desire of people to call people out while simultaneously giving more milage to the problem they were disturbed by in the first place.

One of the biggest examples of this is a recent video of Gemma Doherty, former journalist turned conspirator, failed politician and whatever else. There is a short clip of her talking about gay people being unhappy or something like that. Gemma is well known for being controversial, and while it is not an excuse, I am convinced she is struggling mentally and has done since the death of her husband. The reason I believe that is that here is a well-educated person, someone who’s career was based on being gifted with words, if she were genuinely well and a complete bigot, you would think she would be smart enough to preserve her social media accounts after all that is where the bulk of her audience comes from. But she remains banned and thus her exposure remains low.

But back to the video at hand, it was shared by a @aciquestion account. Since it was first published it has been retweeted 181 times and quote tweeted 3276 times and has 904 likes and some people highlighting it are well known people with large follower lists. Now yes you can tweet an opinion on something, even have a discussion, but with this, it is a video that did not deserve any publicity but has now been shared thousands of times to a much wider audience. Gemma is banned from social media, yet she has been trending for days because of it.

For risk of repeating myself, I in no way think there is not a problem with her comments, but I do take issue with this desire to retweet crap we do not like and how people generally get in nots over something they have full control in not seeing and in which they certainly have full control in not furthering that hatred. But instead, they must tell the world their disgust, which is fine, but instead of retweeting why not take that hatred and tweet something positive. Yes, her words are vile, but it is only mentally draining on yourself to get wound up by it.

For me it comes down to a basic behaviour that as a modern society we seem reluctant to adopt and that is responsibility. Yes, we are responsible for calling out hatred, but we are also responsible for not giving it further mileage either. To me it is of zero consequence if Gemma is all the bigoted behaviours, she so inelegantly displays but if you do not support her, it should be of zero consequence to you too. What do we have to gain by what we already do not know, but she has so much to gain and that simple 7 second clip has probably given her more exposure than she would have ever gotten if she was still on social media in the first place?

One of the basic principles in recovery is responsibility. I had to take responsibility for my recovery, fundamentally no one can face my mental illness demons but me and I wholeheartedly believe when it comes to wellbeing and social media, we also must take responsibility for not just the content we share but also how we allow content affects us. There is momentum right now to hold social media companies like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook solely responsible for the various forms of abuse especially of famous people and while I do think they have a role to play in combatting it, society must play its own role. How something affects you is your responsibility, but there comes a point where balancing the ignorance with ignorance becomes important too.

Manchester United footballer Marcus Rashford spoke of 70+ race laden comments on his social media accounts post a recent defeat. While they are wrong, I am convinced the consistent highlighting of it is just adding fuel to the fire. It is like a school yard bully, if they see that you are affected, they will continue to go for the jugular, because what they are doing is having the desired effect. But I do not think the intention is to be racist but more so to be controversial. People get a kick out of watching something spread. I do not believe there is a bigger race problem now, certainly not akin to that of the 70’s and 80’s, and it is important to remember that any written form of social media does not allow for context. I can send say a monkey emoji to Rashford, the action can be perceived as a racist action, but the intention is to cause controversy and not be deliberately racist. I can say to my mate “F57k off you asshole” in a conversation where say my mate is slagging me, I am not being aggressive but I am using words in a different context, but in another case, I can mean it aggressively, the intention to be as aggressive as possible, but which ever way its read on a say a tweet comes down to perception and context.

And thus, it comes back to responsibility and how we perceive things. You will never eradicate the idiots, the provocateurs intent on causing upset just because they can, and while it is important to call out hatred and bigotry, it is also vitally important that we do not inadvertently give the vile content we are perturbed by further mileage, and that responsibility starts with ourselves. How we are affected is up to us, sharing provocative content because we are outraged serves no purpose. Yes, we can call people out, but our energies would be better served in highlighting the great things about the subject that had been so maligned in the first place. However wrong or bigoted she is, Gemma is entitled to an opinion, but we have a responsibility ourselves to the wellbeing of those being targeted as well as ourselves to not give these bigoted views any further mileage. Most of all we owe it to our own mental wellbeing.

[ouraidengray4]

Being a Woman Runner Can Be Scary As Hell. Here's How to Keep Going

Content Note: Assault and Sexual Harassment

I run to escape the day-to-day stress, the kind that grinds us all down: unanswered work emails, dishes that somehow pile up in the sink, the general lack of hours in the day. It feels so freeing to literally outrun my stressors, even if just for 30 minutes or an hour.

I run to feel human. I stop thinking about myself in relation to my work or my relationships, and simply connect with my body. I run to feel the physical pain, the self-doubt, the impulse to give it all up and call my husband for a ride home—and to feel the accompanying ecstasy when I run through the pain and out the other side, then keep on running.

I run to feel powerful. Mostly, I run to feel free.

But I'm never really free when I run.

Because I'm not just human—I'm a woman. And as a woman, I can never feel fully, totally, entirely free. When I run, I can relax into the sensation of freedom for a little bit... until I hear a catcall, sense a car creeping behind me for blocks (or even miles), or become overly aware of every snapped branch as I speed down a forest trail. Since I'm a woman, when I run, I can never fully escape—inevitably, I'm removed from the moment.

Running presents itself as one of the most democratic sports around.

To be a runner, you don't need fancy gear. You don't need a gym membership (or even the courage to step into a gym). You don't need professional training or a rare body type—provided your body is equipped for running, odds are good that your body knows how to run. And for so many women, this is part of the appeal of running.

According to Statista, running is one of the most popular sports worldwide. In the U.S. alone, a whopping 60 million people engaged in running, jogging, or trail running in 2017—and the majority of these runners are women.

"Two things I've grown to love about running are that you can do it anywhere and it's an amazing way to explore a new place," says Katie Sullivan, director of brand and marketing at Swerve Fitness in New York City.

Samantha Baron, an education coordinator at Sentergroup, Inc., who lives and runs in downtown Chicago, agrees. "Running's something I can just go and do," she says. "It's something that's so seemingly gender-neutral."

But the experience of being a runner isn't gender neutral.

The average runner of any gender deals with standard safety concerns, like getting lost or avoiding traffic. But runners who present as women are much more likely to face a host of additional issues on their runs, most of which revolve around physical safety.

Harassment is so pervasive among women runners that it's practically become normalized. "My immediate reaction is to say I haven't been harassed," Sullivan says. "But then I realize that I can't actually remember a run in NYC—day or night—when I wasn't peppered with catcalls and sexual comments. They were all what I'd typically characterize as 'harmless,' but the recent shift in our culture has made me rethink the way I tolerate them."

Cultural conversations about sexual assault and gender inequality can help women validate their own experiences. They can also make women more cognizant (and perhaps more fearful) of the potential threats lurking outside their front doors.

"Recent events definitely have an influence," says Colleen Elrod, a nursing student who has run primarily in suburban environments. "Now, no matter what time it is, I feel like I'm taking a risk every time I go out for a run."

EDITOR'S PICK

And this isn't paranoia.

A 2016 Runner's World survey of more than 2,500 female runners and approximately as many male runners uncovered the extra concerns that weigh on women who run:

The majority of participating women runners reported they are sometimes, often, or always concerned about being physically assaulted or the recipient of unwanted physical attention while on a run.

43 percent of all women surveyed experience at least occasional harassment while running—compared with only 4 percent of men. That number increases to 58 percent among women runners under the age of 30.

Of the women who reported being harassed, 94 percent said their harassers were men.

30 percent of women respondents have been followed by someone on foot, on a bike, or in a car while running.

18 percent of women have been sexually propositioned mid-run.

3 percent shared they have been physically grabbed, groped, or otherwise assaulted while running.

And just as the #MeToo headlines surfaced, so have stories of women runners who have experienced assault.

This October, well-known runner and safety advocate Kelly Herron was 12 miles into Vancouver's "Girlfriends Run for a Cure" half-marathon when she was accosted on the course by a male bystander. Herron made the split-second decision to abandon her record race time and pursue her assailant in order to press charges.

Sadly, this wasn't Herron's first encounter with assault while running. In March of 2017, she fought off a brutal attack in the public bathroom of a popular Seattle park. These experiences prompted Herron to create the platform Not Today Motherf***er (NTMF), which brings awareness to the topic of runner safety (especially for women runners) and provides personal safety tips to women.

But harassment and assault aren't even the worst that can happen.

In the summer of 2016, the running community reeled as three joggers were killed in the span of nine days. Those cases were deemed unrelated, but they all shared one thing in common: Each victim was a woman.

Just as our culture tends to blame women for being sexually assaulted, people searched for ways to explain away these deaths as evidence of the women's poor judgment. Even though all three women were running during the day on routes that were familiar to them (which is not to say they would have been responsible for their murders if they'd made different choices), the armchair advice poured in from social media: Women shouldn't run alone. Women shouldn't run in the dark. Women shouldn't run with headphones on. Women shouldn't run too far from where they live. Women shouldn't…

Freedom, meet constraint.

The fear of harassment or assault doesn't just affect women while they run. By its very nature, harassment is meant to communicate to its targets that they are not safe.

Research into the consequences of street harassment has found that people who are harassed tend to experience body-image issues, increased depression, heightened fears of rape, and internalized shame. These are consequences that extend far beyond a ruined workout.

EDITOR'S PICK

In an attempt to avoid harassment and assault, women runners tend to alter their behaviors: They change their running routes, alter their schedules, and adopt new habits in the hopes of feeling safer.

Many women choose to be strategic about when they run.

"I started training for a marathon back in July," Elrod says. "In order to get my long runs in, I'd have to start running between 4 and 5 a.m. Even though I live in what I consider a very safe part of town, there have been so many recent stories about people being harmed while running that I never felt fully safe unless the sun had completely risen and I was on a two-way, busy, double-yellow-lined road."

Sullivan also modifies her runs. "I rarely run at night, but when I do, I wouldn't venture on the West Side Highway (fewer people, fewer eyes on you) or into a park," she says.

And they're not alone. Sixty percent of women respondents in the Runner's World survey said that potential threats cause them to limit their runs to daylight hours.

Many modify what they wear too.

"I definitely consider the time of day when choosing my wardrobe," Sullivan says. "On a super-hot weekday afternoon this summer, I decided to run in shorts and a sports bra, and found myself running through several crowds of men spending their lunch break outside—I'll never make that mistake again."

And then there are the safety measures put into place.

Every woman interviewed for this article shared that she sometimes alerts a friend or family member to her intended route prior to a run and asks them to follow up if they haven't heard from her by a certain time.

Some women adopt more advanced measures too. For example, Elrod often runs with 911 queued up on speed dial and her phone in her hand. This mirrors data from the Runner's World survey, which found 73 percent of women respondents who are concerned about safety run with a phone rather than unencumbered.

Other women bring along weapons for physical protection. "When I lived in cities, I would run with pepper spray as well as with my keys between my fingers," says Caitlin Murphy, a critical care nurse who resides in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.

Baron brings along mace on every run. "It definitely makes me feel better to know that I have it," she says.

The 2016 Runner's World data found that 21 percent of women bring pepper spray on their runs at least some of the time. One percent have gone so far as to carry a loaded gun.

Of course, not every woman who runs is harassed, assaulted—or even terrified—every time she laces up her sneakers.

The odds of harassment often diminish outside of urban environments. "Because I'm living in a small mountain community, it just feels safer. And when I'm out, I see people I know," says Heather Hower, a trail runner who resides in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. "It's like everyone is watching out for each other a little bit."

Even in urban environments, some women are more concerned about vehicles or other roadside hazards than they are about would-be attackers. "Probably my biggest issue is cars," Baron says.

And of course, men are also sometimes the targets of harassment or assault. But as a general rule, the contrast between cis male runners' concerns and those of other genders remain stark. The Runner's World survey previously cited found that only four percent of male runners reported experiencing harassment while running—compared to nearly half of all women surveyed. Meanwhile, only one percent of men reported being sexually propositioned on a run (compared to 18 percent of women), and 93 percent of surveyed men reported they are rarely or never concerned about unwanted physical contact or assault as they prepare for a run.

The striking difference between the experience of running while male and running while female is even reflected in Google search results. Type in "male runners stats" and you'll get pages and pages of results pertaining to marathon finishing times, training guides, and other sport-related info. Search for "women runners stats," on the other hand, and stories about the dangers of running while female show up in the first few results and continue to spill onto the following pages.

While running may be a more democratic sport than most, it's still challenging for women to escape the realities of deep-rooted cultural misogyny—no matter where, when, or how fast they run. In order for women runners to be really free, our culture first needs to reconcile with its pervasive misogyny, and men as a collective group need to stop harassing and assaulting women.

"I always wish someone would go into all the high schools and say something to make high-school boys not catcall women," Herron says—pointing out that boys who learn to treat women with respect are less likely to grow into men who don't.

Until that day, Herron says there are several strategies women can employ to feel safer on their runs.

"The No. 1 safety strategy is just to be completely aware of your surroundings," Herron says. To that end, she makes a habit of continually scanning her surroundings and wears open-ear headphones that allow her to enjoy music while simultaneously hearing what's going on around her.

Herron does occasionally bring a weapon, but she's very selective about what she uses. "If you're going to carry a weapon, it should be something that you're very comfortable with, very skilled at, and have lots of practice with," she says. Her preferred option is a Go Guarded ring, which is a plastic, serrated-edge weapon that can be worn on any finger. She points out that it's also essential to keep your weapon in your hand at all times. "It's not going to be any good in your fanny pack," she says.

Herron also advocates for self-defense classes. "I would recommend a self-defense class to anyone," she says, crediting the skills she learned in such a class with helping her fight off her first attacker. "The fact that my self-defense class was brought in by my employers—that's something that I'd love to see more HR departments do. Taco Tuesday is great, but you can also give employees the tools that could potentially save their lives."

Finally, it's important to look out for each other. And that can happen in several ways.

"Men often ask me what they can do to make women feel safer, and I tell them to be on the lookout for creeps," Herron says. "Sometimes just making eye contact can be enough to deter them. I also think guys need to call each other out for harassment and misogyny."

Talking openly about women runners' experiences can be another form of solidarity. "In coming forward with my stories, I wanted to let other women who have been accosted or assaulted know that they're not alone," Herron says. "Sharing the stories and hearing that it's happened to other people can be very healing, so that you're not kind of caught in this spiral of shame and blame."

While having to think so much about safety may curtail women's freedoms while running, Herron says putting strategies in place can help women feel confident enough to continue heading to the streets and trails. "While I don't think we can ever get to a place of 100 percent freedom, I think we can do everything we possibly can to free ourselves of worry and fear."

from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2QedJX3 Being a Woman Runner Can Be Scary As Hell. Here's How to Keep Going Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ https://ift.tt/2RCCgS7

[my-trashy-writing]

Instead of hanging out with Yamaguchi, Tsukishima spends his time with random girls. Hinata, Yachi and Kageyama investigate.

Here goes the winner of the last poll. It was a really exciting poll since there were only two options and, even though the winner started with around 80% of votes, right now it has only 56%.

And if we're talking about the poll - it's the last one for some time. My writer's block is really severe this time. Apart from the one fic I'm posting I have only one TsukiYama finished and one almost finished Klance. And that's all. Sadly. I have a lot of ideas and around seven more fics started so I hope that by the time I run out of the two left there will be something more. I'd really love to continue with the regular schedule of posting.

Btw - I’ve made a ko-fi account so... Buy me a coffee?

There’s also Russian translation by @applemaple here.

SFW, TsukiYama Words: 1919 Also on ao3.

“Oh, it’s Tsukishima,” Hinata exclaimed and caught the ball. He, Kageyama and Yamaguchi were playing around with it during the lunch break. “With a beautiful girl,” he wrinkled his nose, following the pair with his eyes. “Reminds me a bit of Kiyoko-senpai.”

“Isn’t it a different one this time?” Kageyama commented.

“Eh? You’re paying attention to such stuff?” Hinata gaped at him. “You’re right, though. It’s a different one, last week it was a short girl with fluffy hair. Is he actually going out with all of them or just hanging around?”

“Hell if I know,” Kageyama shrugged. “Ask Yamaguchi,” both him and Hinata looked at Yamaguchi.

“Eh?” Yamaguchi flinched. “I… don’t know,” he said quietly, his head hanging low.

“You don’t know?” Kageyama echoed.

“Shh, shut up, Kageyama,” Hinata shushed him, noticing Yamaguchi’s shoulders tremble.

Some time ago, Hinata realised that something changed between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. He decided to not come between the two of them, he was sure that they will deal with it themselves, just like they did during one of the training camps in the past. But now he understood that the situation was completely different. A lot of seemingly unrelated and not important details suddenly fell into place. And Hinata knew that the problem won’t disappear without any help from the outside.

*

“So, yeah, the thing is, that there’s something weird going on between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima,” Hinata said to Yachi and Kageyama, his face serious.

“Whatever,” Kageyama grumbled.

“Um… yes, they don’t really spend much time together anymore. I think that maybe even not at all?” Yachi sounded worried. “I mean, they ended up in different classes this year so it’s somehow understandable but…” she fell quiet.

“Yeah! This! And Tsukishima is constantly hanging out with girls! Even though he was always annoyed when girls tried to get close to him!”

“About that… I heard some girls talking about him and all I understood from their excitement about Tsukishima-kun is that the situation is somehow weird… He’s not exactly going out with any of them. Not officially. It’s just like… hanging around together for some time? He’s nice and all, you can even say that he’s going on dates with all the girls but… he’s still distant. He’s accepting anyone who comes and he doesn’t care if a girl stops hanging out with him. He’s not reaching out to them himself.”

“Asshole,” Kageyama butted in.

“Could you try to contribute more to the discussion, Kageyama-kun?” Hinata huffed at him.

“I don’t care about Tsukishima, really. As long as it doesn’t-” he suddenly fell quiet.

“What?” Hinata asked.

“Does all of this stuff has anything to do with Yamaguchi messing up during practice lately?” Kageyama answered with a question.

“Maybe?” Yachi hummed and Hinata nodded his head.

“I’m going to bash Tsukishima’s face in,” Kageyama got up and left to search for the blond. He found him on the rooftop, quietly listening to a chatter of some random girl.

“We need to talk,” Kageyama stood right in front of them and glared. It startled the girl and she left almost immediately, while Tsukishima only raised his brow.

“What?” he asked, though he didn’t sound interested.

“I don’t have the slightest idea what happened and I don’t really care. But it’s completely different case when it’s affecting the team.”

“Huh? What do you even want from me? Just like always, I don’t get what’s going on in your stupid head,” Tsukishima stood up and glared at Kageyama. They were staring each other down until Kageyama broke the silence:

“A long time ago, I’ve said to Hinata that Oikawa-san has even worse personality than yours. But now I see that I was wrong. You’re more of an asshole than him. Even while fooling around with girls - “ Kageyama didn’t notice how Tsukishima’s brow twitched at his words, “ - Oikawa-san didn’t forget about his childhood friend. And he always gives his all when it comes to volleyball.”

“What do you even know?” Tsukishima growled, taking a step towards Kageyama. “You don’t know a thing, since your head is filled with volleyball and nothing more,” if it was someone other than Kageyama, they would curl up in themselves, intimidated. There was a tense silence between them and then Tsukishima turned around, leaving Kageyama alone.

*

Hinata stormed out almost right after Kageyama. He was running around the whole school but he couldn’t find either Kageyama or Tsukishima. Before he caught a glimpse of the setter, it was already too late, their lunch break ended. Hinata decided to confront Tsukishima sometime later.

When Hinata noticed Tsukishima taking a break during practice, he slowly walked up to him and sat beside him.

“What do you want?” Tsukishima grumbled.

“Eh?” Hinata flinched. “Um… how it’s going?” he smiled but it seemed forced.

“Huh?”

“Well, aren’t you a ladies’ man now?” Hinata laughed quietly. “Even though you hated that?” he glared.

“Get off my case. First King, now you,” Tsukishima waved his hand as if Hinata was some annoying bug.

“I wouldn’t care if it was only about you! But it also concerns Yamaguchi!” Hinata got angry. “What the hell is with the two of you? Aren’t you friends? For the longest time I was wondering why Yamaguchi even bothered being friends with someone like you. When you were a complete asshole. And he was so worried about you during that training camp last year! When you were the only one dragging his feet!” Hinata raised his voice. “And now you’re ditching him for some random girls?!”

“Why all of you run your mouths even when you don’t know shit?” Tsukishima got up, looming over Hinata.

“Then maybe do tell, huh?!”

“I’m not obliged to.”

“What’s going on?” Yamaguchi appeared right beside them.

“Tsukishima is being an asshole,” Hinata grumbled.

“Yeah, he does that a lot. You should be used to this already, Hinata,” Yamaguchi chuckled, not looking at Tsukishima.

“But Yamaguchi…” Hinata whined.

“Don’t mind him and go back to practice, Kageyama was glaring in this direction for some time now,” Yamaguchi pushed Hinata lightly towards the court. He didn’t say anything to Tsukishima, he just briefly glanced at him and left him alone.

*

Yachi felt really troubled. She wanted to help her friends but she wasn’t sure how to approach them. She was observing Yamaguchi and Tsukishima closely during the practice. Just like she feared, they weren’t talking with each other at all. She wondered, dumbfounded, how no-one noticed this before. In the past, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were like a set, it was rare to see them apart.

Before the short confrontation between Tsukishima and Hinata, Yachi noticed something. She wasn’t sure yet, she thought that maybe she was reading too much into the situation, but Tsukishima’s reaction after Yamaguchi interrupted the fight, made her sure - even though Tsukishima was avoiding Yamaguchi, he still was observing him from afar. And the pained expression that flashed on his face when Yamaguchi turned his back on him without saying anything, made her gasp.

Yamaguchi wasn’t any different, actually. He also wasn’t approaching Tsukishima but he was constantly stealing glances at him. Yachi knew that both of them didn’t really want to be like this.

“Um, Tsukishima-kun…” Yachi started when the practice ended and she managed to catch him alone

“So now it’s you, Yachi-san?” Tsukishima sighed.

“I’m sorry for Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun. They are too hot-headed. But it’s not like they didn’t mean well. We’re all worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry, Yachi-san,” Tsukishima cut her off sharply.

“I think that’s what you want to believe, Tsukishima-kun. You aren’t hanging around with girls because you want to, right? And you definitely aren’t having fun,” she stated matter-of-factly. “You’d rather spend time with Yamaguchi-kun.”

“I…” Tsukishima wasn’t sure what to say. He might have been able to brush off Kageyama and Hinata but Yachi was a completely different case.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you distancing yourself from him? Even though you don’t want to?”

“It’s better for him like this,” Tsukishima finally said, his voice quiet.

“Better? I don’t understand how it's better. Especially that he doesn’t really seem to be happy about the whole matter. Have you talked about it with him? Or are you just deciding all by yourself what’s better for him? If you care about him then why? Tsukishima-kun...”

“I care too much,” Tsukishima whispered.

“Too much?” Yachi echoed, weighing the words on her tongue. There was a long moment of silence before Yachi finally gasped.

“Do you understand now?” Tsukishima asked. He sounded so helpless that Yachi had to fight the urge to pull him into a hug.

“You should tell him,” Yachi stated firmly, to which Tsukishima only shook his head. “No, you have to tell him. You can’t mess up more than you already did. And, no matter the result, you will feel better, I promise you. Yamaguchi-kun would be at peace too, at last knowing what’s going on.”

*

Tsukishima was beating himself about what he should do now. All he did before backfired. Everything went too far already and he was sure that there was no turning back. Reluctantly, he agreed with Yachi. He already destroyed the friendship that was between him and Yamaguchi, so a little love confession wouldn’t really make any difference.

Tsukishima was standing in front of the door to Yamaguchi’s place, nervously fiddling with his fingers. He rang the bell and waited, repeating different scenarios in his head. Tsukishima flinched when it was Yamaguchi who opened the door for him. The other stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, and then slammed the door shut, without even saying anything.

“Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima tried to open the door.

“What do you want?” Yamaguchi shouted from the inside. “Go away.”

“I want to talk with you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!”

“I have something to tell you!”

“I don’t want to hear that.”

“Yamaguchi, please,” Tsukishima leaned his forehead against the door. “I beg of you.”

There was a moment of silence before Yamaguchi slowly opened the door and let Tsukishima in without saying a word.

“Your mom?” Tsukishima asked, as they were awkwardly standing in the entrance.

“I’m alone at the moment,” Yamaguchi answered quietly, not looking at Tsukishima.

“Ah… that somehow makes it easier,” he took a deep breath. “Um, Yamaguchi I… I like you,” Tsukishima finally said, bracing for whatever was coming his way. And, just like he expected, Yamaguchi started to talk fast, his voice raised:

“What did I do to make you hate me? Wait, what did you say?” he fell quiet, snapping his eyes at Tsukishima.

“I like you,” Tsukishima repeated, feeling embarrassed.

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie?”

“Because you wouldn’t avoid me for such a long time if you liked me! You wouldn’t start going out with so many girls if you liked me! You wouldn’t make me feel like this!” Yamaguchi sounded bitter and his voice was breaking. Tsukishima felt so guilty that it was physically painful for him. Especially when he noticed tears in Yamaguchi’s eyes.

“I don’t hate you, I couldn’t ever hate you,” Tsukishima said quietly, not sure what to do.

“Then act like it!” Yamaguchi was glaring at him, desperately holding back tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I really am sorry,” Tsukishima moved fast to hug Yamaguchi tightly. “I never wanted to hurt you, I thought it would be better like this.”

“It wasn’t,” Yamaguchi sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“What should I do now?”

“Like me properly.”

[especialty]

Submission Saturday Rules & Guidelines

(PS: this is for Instagram, please ignore if you don’t follow me there!)

#naasruletag

• how to submit:

1. read all of the rules & make sure your photo is following all of them.

2. once you’re positive that it qualifies, dm me your picture. all submissions go to @nudityasart on Instagram PLEASE don’t post your submissions or send them to any other account, only dm’d submissions will be posted!!

PS: when you send in your dm, make sure to add in your pronouns if you’d like, especially to my trans friends, to prevent being misgendered!

‼️RULES!!‼️

I have two accounts now. @especialitys being my main (educational/informative/selfcare), and @nudityasart being my second account (bodypositivity/submissions). Unlike previous account(s), all submissions will be sent (and posted) to @nudityasart.

1. when submitting, remember that it is completely anonymous, meaning I will not tag you and no one will ever know it’s you, UNLESS you yourself choose to state otherwise in the comment section.

(If you’d like to thank people for compliments or just let people know it’s you, you can do so by commenting but besides that the only two who will know who is is, will be you and I)

but this is for body positivity ONLY and a majority don’t want to be named, therefor it remains anonymous on my part. Please don’t DM me asking who a submitter is, I know sometimes you want to ask where they got their clothing but I want this to remain confidential so just comment asking and maybe they will reply or someone else who knows will!

Another thing, before sending remember that I am not at fault if someone gets upset about your submission, but I will kindly delete it if necessary

(this has happened quite a bit, actually, between protective partners and rude friends. just send me the picture as request the deletion of the photo. only the person who sent the photo can request for it to be removed, btw)

2. PICTURES: for your picture quality; I ask that it be high quality and trust me, I know sometimes phones don’t have the best quality, but here are the easiest ways I’ve found to match my theme:

-use natural lighting, like in front of a window, outside, or a naturally lit room.

- camera flash (especially if you have a low quality camera) I know it’s hard using your back flash, so place a mirror in front of you to help get a good picture!

these are the only two ways I know of to get a good picture, but outside/natural lighting is the best way to go to ensure your photo matches and gets posted on my account!

(ps. if you need ideas, use other submissions (posts on @especialitys could help too) as reference to how the photos should look, and pose ideas and picture ideas. I LOVE creativity!!)

3. censoring; this is a big issue with submissions because of Instagram so I need to address it. I can’t allow full nudes or any sexually explicit submissions because instagrams rules and regulations (and once again, this is for body positivity not send your genitalia to mooma. keep ya genitals covered. I, nor Instagram, want to see that so keep it away from me thank you) but as for nipples, yes you can send uncensored ones and I will censor them for you, (by putting light glares/stars on them. If you want to do it yourself but don’t know the app: star/glare app is LINE camera! the sticker is “shine” last one with the saturation turned down so it’s white) but I have to be extremely cautious with what I post on my account in order to not be deleted so I would appreciate it if you covered them with something, but if you don’t that’s okay too! I’ll censor it for you!

btw, your gender doesn’t matter when censoring. I will censor any and ALL nipples! I’m censoring everyone’s as a way to get some form of equality on my page. If one should be censored, shouldn’t they all be?

But, you can also use your hand to cover your nipples or use something else like paint, real or fake flowers, candies, (real) stickers, leaves, sea shells or pretty rocks/gems, small toys, (this will hurt coming off) tape, fruit/other foods, slime, compact mirrors, little pumpkins, small plushies, glitter, or anything of your choosing!! be creative and have fun with it, there’s really no wrong thing you could use except for (basically anything digitally added except blurring or star/glare) emojis, or any type of edited sticker as well as coloring them out with the snapchat pen or any other type of pen, this includes background blurring because it doesn’t fit my theme at all and won’t be posted.

4. no filters of any kind; I know!! a lot of you enjoy using the black and white filter or some other filter because it makes you look good but it doesn’t match my theme, I’m sorry!! please send it without a filter, because I won’t post it on my account with a filter.

5. Although you don’t have to be completely bare to submit, I would ask that you not have too much clothing covering yourself since this is for body positivity and it’s hard for someone to compliment your body if they can’t see it. If you aren’t comfortable with nudity, you can always just take a cute picture of your tummy! or if you don’t want to do that, a picture of your collar bones or your thighs? whatever you’re comfortable with!

6. Don’t be rude to any submitters; I will not tolerate any form of negativity on my account. this is a SAFE place and I won’t let anyone ruin that for me or anyone else on my page. do you know how much confidence it takes to post some of your greatest insecurities? a fucking lot. this is for positivity and appreciation!! don’t be a dick to anyone who posts, your comment will be deleted and you might even be blocked. Be kind to one another. Bring everyone who submits up, not down. prove to them how beautiful the skin they are in is. It isn’t that fucking hard and it’s free to be a decent human being!!

7. Please be patient; & don’t get upset when I don’t post yours right away. I have so many dms and pending dms, that it takes me a while to post them all. but occasionally, I don’t receive dms so please if I haven’t posted yours and it’s been two weeks+ just send me a heart (sometimes you’ll need to unsend and resend it) or ask if I’ve saved yours yet, and I’ll make sure to do so ASAP(:

IMPORTANT PART: when sending your submission, please send a bee emoji or a "I read all of your submission rules/guidelines" so I know you've read them all and are following them x

• AND REMEMBER:

if you have any questions or comments regarding SS, feel free to contact me via dm (I often don’t get a chance to reply to dms so if I don’t I’m so sorry!! try leaving a comment on one of my recent posts) or ask them on ask.fm (the link is in @selfcarecorner’s bio) and also via my remindapp (text “@mooma” to 81010, or get the remind app and add “@mooma”) and I will get back to you as soon as I can! I love you all, don’t forget to check the FAQ before asking a question x

‼️FAQ:

• do I have to be following you to submit

I don’t see why you wouldn’t be following me if you were trying to submit but yes, you MUST at least be following @nudityasart as well as @especialitys (on Instagram) to submit.

• when are submissions posted?

every Saturday, unless I have something come up that prohibits me from doing so, from twelve am Friday night to twelve am Saturday night! (CST)

• how many submissions do you normally post?

there isn’t any given number that I post. once I post a submission I won’t post another until that one gets twenty five or more comments. I do this so each submission gets a good amount of positivity. I don’t want anyone feeling left out!

for people who comment and the comments, please don’t put some unrelated comment such as emojis or something, actually take time (if you have it) to write a positive message about how a feature that caught your eye, or how strong they must be, or how wonderful their completion is or how you adore their freckles, etc. it doesn’t take much of your time and I promise you it will make someone’s day so much better. just say things that you’d want to be told about your own body but a little ps, saying “goals” or “i would die to have this body” or “I wish I looked like this” or “why can’t I have this body” or any other self degrading comment is NOT a compliment and never will be a compliment. it will be deleted. bringing yourself down isn’t what I consider a compliment, sorry!

• when can i send you my submission?

any day of the week! most send on Saturday while I’m posting submissions and that’s cool and all but you cut the likelihood of it actually getting posted that day by half because I post the ones I didn’t get to post last week, and then the ones sent throughout the week, first(: (I recommend sending them Thursday because I save them on Friday)

• is there an age limit to submit?

sort of, I’d ask that you’d be at least thirteen+ because although this is only for body positivity I am not dumb and I know some people may see it in other forms. so since instagrams age limit is thirteen I guess so is mine. although, if you’re underaged please do not send me full nudes (keep your genitals covered please. tummy pics, thigh pics, etc are fine, but I would be careful not to have full nudity so undies/bathing suits are a must) this puts me in a very awkward position. remember that your nudes are often considered child pornography depending on your state/region. be careful kiddos.

• if I send you a caption to post with my pic, will you post that too?

yes yes! all you have to do is specify that you want your caption posted and bam! posted along with your photo !

• do I have to be naked to submit?

not persay, no. not everyone is comfortable being completely naked, and I understand that 100%. but since this is body positivity, you can’t exactly receive compliments about your body with full clothing so I would ask that you have minimal clothing. if you aren’t comfortable with showing your stomach, show off your thighs or collar bones!

• can I send you a selfie to post?

no. sorry but this isn’t a selfie positivity account, it’s a body positive account so no picture with your face in it please. covering it with your phone is okay though and having your lips in it if yore doing a collar bone photo but otherwise no, please crop your face out. it isn’t really anonymous if your face is in it.