#pisses me off she had to state what was pretty obvious

[iwatcheditbegin]

I think it was already clear that was the reason why she said nothing. I’m more frustrated that some ‘fans’ continue to immediately attack and assume the worst about her 18 years in, when she’s never given a reason for this.

​she’s human. She’s allowed to be scared or traumatized, expecting her to brush that off (and put others in harm) to validate you is so out of touch

[deathsmallcaps]

I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.

1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.

Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.

2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.

3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.

4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.

5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.

6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.

7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.

8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.

9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.

A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.

B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.

C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.

10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.

Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.

Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.

Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.

[yujisgirl]

Toji NSFW Links / Visuals ᥫ᭡

... with short fics <3

These are real ns//fw links btw! Human bodies etc not animted! Need to be signed into Twitter / X to see these videos ♡

These stories happen in chronological order! ... ! afab reader

Next: Toji + Choso + Gojo + Nanami + Shiu + Sukuna + Higuruma... so stay tuned!

TW : Gun play for the fourth fic! . . . @ my friend, tysm for that <3

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 Itadori Yuuji's Visuals: Click Here ❤︎

"Toji, Can you help me sneak out?"

you grinned.

"Doll , you know that goes against my job. Thats not why your dad employed me" your bodyguard Toji sighs. He knows you well and he knows that you'll be able to convince him eventually. "Please Toji, it's just this one night. Plus its my best friend's birthday, I cant let her down" You pout as you twirl the ends of your hair, "Besides, I already got ready for it."

Sneaking out wasn’t the main problem. What pissed Toji off the most was how you were mindlessly grinding on some random stranger you met at the club.

Toji's grits his jaw as he watches the guy's hands travel down your waist to your ass. The guy leans in and whispers something in your ear before taking your hand and walking towards the VIP rooms. Toji grabs his arm "Hands off. She's with me".

What happened when you got home was just a blur: One moment you were pleading with toji, hoping to make things right with him again, the next moment your knees were on the floor and you were choking on his cock.

Punishment? I wanted this.

જ⁀➴

"Fucking brat"

His anger had barely subsided with that blowjob. It was obvious from his relentless thrusts and the hand around your neck that he wasn't done with you.

Fucking with Toji Pt.1

Fucking with Toji Pt.2

જ⁀➴

"Toji, can you come pick me up from college?"

was all you said. How did it end up with you sucking him off in your dad's own car?

"Is this why you called me? To suck me off?"

જ⁀➴

"You never use your gun"

you tilt your head as you stare at the weapon pocketed deep inside Toji's pockets.

He looks down at it before answering, "Yeah, just havent had the chance to use it yet"

"...Unless?"

જ⁀➴

"Why dont we go for a picnic?"

you knew what you were doing with that sundress. You didnt even bother to wear a bra, Toji could practically see your nipples staring right back at him.

Needless to say,

the picnic ended right how you hoped it would end.

જ⁀➴

"Such a pretty little whore for my cock"

he grunts.

You had suggested to take a shower together to save time.

He knew what you meant from the very beginning,

He just loves to see you on your knees for him.

જ⁀➴

"Do you have a breeding kink?"

you asked.

"I do love seeing my cum drip down your cunt" He answered.

He pauses before speaking again, "...we should take a video of that next time"

and you guys did.

જ⁀➴

"Wh- Is that your worm??"

you said.

"Yep" Toji stated bluntly as he stared at the TV that was playing one of your sex tapes with Toji, "Dont know how the little guy got there to be honest"

"!! I told you to lock the door before we start"

[chloe-skywalker]

Bulldog's Or Sister - Sweet Pea

Sweet Pea x Jones Fem!reader

FP x Daughter Fem!Reader

Jughead x Sister Fem!Reader

Fangs x Toni x Fem!Reader (Friends)

Warnings: mention of near death bullying

Word count: 966

Summary: Reggie beat’s up Y/n and Sweet pEa isn’t ok with it. Neither is Fangs and Toni or FP. BUt Jughead her brother thinks there must of been some type of misunderstanding. Which makes things wrose between him and the Serpents. Y/n’s been one of them way longer than him.

Masterlist

Riverdale Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“This is going to far.” Sweet Pea shakes his head trying to control his anger.

“Agreed.” Fangs stated crossing his arms.

“They hurt Y/n. I don’t know about you but I want revenge.” Toni all but growled in defense of her friend.

“I’m right here Toni.” Y/n smiled gratefully at her best friend before turning her attention back to everyone. “And I want revenge to.” Y/n stated from her seated position, still hurting all over from the beating.

“We’ll get it princess. We will. We all will.” FP promised his daughter as he walked over to her, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

Seconds later the door to the Wyrm burst open and in walked the beanie wearing teen that everyone had been trying to get ahold of.

“What happened?” Jughead said once she was fully in the bar. As he looked around he noticed pretty much everyone was there.

“Where have you been?” FP turned to his son, fuming in rage.

“I was with Betty, we had to look into something. I came as soon as I could.” Jughead shrugged his shoulders, not getting the urgency.

“We called and texted you hundreds of times.” Toni spoke up glaring at Jughead. How could he just ignore everyone trying to get a hold of him.

“Not to mention hours ago.” Fangs joined Toni in glaring at the beanie wearing boy.

“Sorry. I was busy.” Jughead furrowed his eyebrows in confusion on why everyone seemed so passed at him.

“To busy to come to the aid of your bleeding sister?!” Sweet Pea yells enraged, he took a step forward. How could he not care about his own sister then again Sweet Pea felt he shouldn’t be surprised. Jughead always seemed to only care about his Northsider friends, more than he cared about anyone else.

“We had to take her to the hospital.” Fangs added, he to stepped forward off the wall. Fangs stared at Jughead, pissed off. “You didn’t even get here till she was already discharged.”

“Do you even care?” Toni narrowed her eyes as she put the question out there.

“Of course I care.” Jughead scoffed looking over to his sister seeing her all bruised and bandaged, cut’s littered her face and neck. He could only imagine what was under her clothes. “What happened anyway? Who hurt you?”

Jughead’s lack of concern on his face and in his tone were shocking to everyone.

“Reggie and the rest of the bulldog’s. That’s who.” Y/n spat at her brother. How could he be so nonchalant about this?!

“Are you okay?” he asked although there wasn't any concern in his voice. That’s obvious.

Do I look okay?!” Y/n yelled not believing her brother just could stand there in front of her looking at her all injured and not seem to care at all. “I’m hurt, bruised, bleeding and broken. I’m in pain and one of the people I wanted here for me was my brother and he couldn’t even bother!”

“Why’d they attack you?” Jughead asks, pointing at his sister.

“Why?” Sweet Pea copied Jughead’s words while clenching his fists.

“Yes, why? I’m sure it was a misunderstanding.” Jughead himself narrowed his eyes at the taller serpent.

“They targeted me, Jughead.” Y/n spoke up, getting more upset with her brother by the minute.

“Did they think you were someone else?” Jughead was trying to find a solution as to why the Bulldogs would do this.

It shocked and amazed all the serpents and not in a good way that Jughead instead of seeing his sister and caring or wanting revenge he would try to defend the one’s recognizable for almost killing his own sister.

“Stop trying to make excuses for them!” Sweet Pea yelled, slamming his hand down on the nearest table. Which happened to be the table Toni and Y/n were sitting at.

Y/n reached for Sweet Pea’s hand, hoping to calm him down. To reassure him she was there. Before Y/n turned her gaze back to her brother.

“They followed me, they conquered me and they attacked me. They knew it was me, I was the intended target for their attack… And you don’t even care.” Y/n had tears welling up in her eye’s at recalling what had happened to her and that it seemed her brother could care less about her.

“What happened to my son that loved and protected his sister? Cause that’s not what I’m seeing.” FP shook his head, eyes filled with disappointment.

“Dad-” Jughead start’s with wide eyes at his father’s words.

“They hurt her and you're defending them, trying to find an out.” FP stated raising his voice, anger and pain obvious in his words as he spoke. “Get out Jughead.”

Jughead loaded at his dad like he was crazy. He wants him to leave! “What?”

“Get out of my home. Get out of my serpent den. Till you can care about your family again, get out.” FP had made his decision. He didn’t recognize his son right now.

Jughead looked around seeing how no one is opposing his fathers statements of kicking him out.

“Not that you care but they did this to send a message.” Toni tells Jughead before he turned to leave.

“They left a letter with me when they left me to wither in pain and almost die. It was a threat, and doing this to me was only the beginning.” Y/n told her brother with anger and sadness in her eye’s. Letting out an unamused laugh shaking her head. “Hope you enjoy your Northside friends Jughead. Since you apparently care more about them than your family.”

A tear ran down her check as she looked at her brother like a stranger.

taglist: @padawancat97 @gruffle1

[bambiilooloo]

Return to Samos AU

odysseus is not the captain, eurylochus is. because epic the musical got me fixated on this guy. the au is very etm specific and for fun!! so no judgy comments or asks please. i got some of those that i had to delete. just be nice thanks.

my first post on this concept

the character's personalities have not changed just (most) of their roles. I hope this post makes sense, i am not good at typing my thoughts down

@imheretocausechaos25 add on with ur take on the plot! i think the way i see it might be different to urs but that's what makes it fun :D

characters

eury <--> ody

ctimene -> penelope

perimedes <--> polites

ares <--> athena

poseidon <--> zeus

pegasus -> polyphemous

aeolus <--> hermes

scylla <--> circe

war saga

so it's not the trojan war. epic doesn't reference the iliad much and with ares as eurylochus' mentor, it just does not make sense. but everything that happens, still happens.

there is no trojan horse. they do a traditional ambush to suit ares' style of fighting more. the vision is given to ody by poseidon and the place they're attacking is by the sea. he kills the baby by thowing him into the water (baby drowns)

full speed ahead is the same but, the lotus eaters is very different. perimedes is not going to be singing about the hope left in the world. bro is living in denial and in his cut song, he uses the lotus to numb his pain and depression. the lotus eater island, instead of being a quick break with sunshine guy, is a harsh reminder of what war does to someone. and eury ultimately makes the promise to perimedes smth like 'i know it's hard but we WILL get home and things WILL get better'

and uuh that doesn't...happen

ares shows up to tell eury to stop sugarcoating reality or smth. ya know like embrace war and the life they live instead of telling people things will be fine cuz he wants to keep the peace. face the reality!! or smth. i think the flashback would show a rational, younger eury and ares bonding.

pegasus saga

pretty much what happens in cyclops but it's with pegasus. perimedes dies :(( he doesn't get home ands things did not get better. rip.

(so does elpenor. he had some of the lotus wine before battle or smth dumb dumb. they're gay in the underworld now yippie!!)

now, ares is very much hoping they just kill pegasus because while he knows that will still piss zeus off, leaving him with no wings in a dishevelled state is worse. but eury says no and doxxes himself. and ares leaves to get that milk.

thunder saga

ok so, zeus is pissed and is sending lightning storms and stuff. they end up on an island that has some clear hermes imagery all over and as they are travellers, ody has the plan to ask him for help after calling eury out on his doxxing of self. both eury and ody go to ask hermes for help and hermes gives them a bag of moly. (funny idea that it's crushed up and they snort it but u don't have to accept that hc)

all you gotta do is not open this bag

um so most of the moly when eury wakes up is gone. um weird, i wonder why that is. and they send up stuck in another lightning storm with just a little bit of moly. zeus shows up and kills people and eurylochus uses the last of the moly to make a big pegasus to blow zeus away or smth.

nice one bro i'm sure that wont piss him off further.

scylla saga

they get aeolus' help to go to scylla's island. idk how or why but yea it happens.

then, scylla's island!! she turns men into mutts cuz i hear in the myths, she has dog heads? thought this was a fun nod to that.

now odysseus is not talking much to eury - no idea why - but polites is like 'captain, i have something that i must confess. something that i must get off my chest-' but ody is like 'yo let's go explore the island!!' they do that and they get turned into dogs.

polites is the only one who manages to escape and he, gives eurylochus the moly he had (in the case it wasn't obvious ody and polites took the moly) and is very guilty. well, you can't be mad at polites for long and the stealing of moly was only a minor inconvenience anyway.

polites doesn't tell eurylochus that it was ody's idea to steel the moly. eury has no idea ody has moly on him.

scylla vs eurylochus blah blah i miss my wife whatever. underworld time!!

underworld saga

tirisias is female presenting. that's really the only change i think.

ocean saga

so the sirens are cut. (that's the funniest thing mr jalepeno's done. i love his little jokes sm) and they end up in a cave (ooh scary cave)

this is the circe's cave. 'odysseus light up six torches' 😬

then, mutiny!! but, while i had the idea that poli and peri have a direct swap and poli stabs eurylochus. i prefer the idea he's killed by circe and that's what triggers odysseus to mutiny. i like that. that's fun. unionise!! and in the battle, ody uses the moly to make chimera - like circe is - and knock eurylochus out.

ody kills selene's horses and she tells poseidon and he shows and ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves but also someone's gotta die today and you have got the final say. the 'i have to see her' would be very painful cuz he is talking about odysseus' sister.

i'll update as the rest is released. hope this made sense. tagging ppl who's takes have helped and have expressed interest: @naori-is-nidaime-hokage @luminescence110 @awnrii

thanks for reading this :D hope u like!, i! send ask about itf ur interested, i'll try and answer

i wanna draw for this au but i do not have the motivation and get distracted lmao

this is the best thing i've made for it i think. it might be the best thing i'll ever make 😔

[elliespassagerprincess]

i literally read ur five everyday i love them sm and i was wondering if u could make a angsty with a happy ending ellie x reader inspired by bubblegum by clairo

Bubblegum - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank youuu sm!! i hope you enjoy this fic... i tried something new:)

This story is based off the song Bubblegum by Clairo! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: none

Summary: in which you fell in love

authors note: the good doctor season 7 has me in tears man, like bro why did they have to kill Asher????

masterlist

You never thought this day would come. You thought this would only be a fantasy.

If you told 15 year old you that you would be standing in front of Ellie Williams at the alter, she would've laughed.

Both of you wanted this day to be perfect, and it was. The flowers, your dress and her suit, the seating arrangements, everything was perfect.

She looked at you with such love, love that you have only seen in Disney movies.

The two of you held hands as it was time for your vows. Her hands felt soft, and she held you so gently.

Ellie had to go first. Her palms were slightly sweaty. She was nervous.

Very fucking nervous.

You gave her hand a light squeeze and you gave her a small smile. That was all she needed.

"Sorry I didn't kiss you but it's obvious I wanted to"

You smiled as you remembered the awkward memory.

It was a sleepover at Dina's house, the two of you were only 15. It was you, Dina, Jesse and Ellie.

Oh Ellie.

Ellie Williams.

When Ellie and Joel arrived in Jackson you were immediately drawn to her.

She was pretty.

Really pretty.

Very early on you developed feelings for her. You liked the way she drew pictures, you liked the way she cut her hair, you liked her sense of humor. You liked Ellie for her.

When Dina invited you to the sleepover, you almost burst with joy. This was your moment.

Ellie was anxiously packing her bag for the sleepover.

She needed to impress you. She packed all her best outfits. She really fucking liked you.

The four of you played 7 minutes in heaven and the bottle landed on you and Ellie. Dina squealed knowing the two of liked each other.

You were pissing yourself, and Ellie was wondering how she smelled.

She was going to make a move. She needed to let you know how she felt. The two of you walked into the closet, and Dina locked the door behind you.

"Hi" you muttered softly

"hey" Ellie said back.

The two of you sat in awkward silence.

C'mon Ellie make your move

"What's your favorite color?" She suddenly blurted.

A smile spread onto your face before you answered "pink".

The two of you spoke so many things in that few minutes you had together. You learned so much about her.

"You have 2 minutes!" Dina yelled from the other side of the door.

"This was fun" you smiled

"it was... we should talk more often"

She was so close to you. So fucking close. You could feel her breath on your face.

'C'mon move Ellie' she thought to herself.

But before Ellie could make her move, you leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were so so soft. You've been dreaming about this for months.

Ellie's eyes widened at the sudden feeling. She wanted to lean in. She wanted to kiss you back but she was in a state of shock.

Ellie pulled away, and she started at you with a blank expression.

"Times up!" Dina opened the door with a smile.

Ellie got up and she ran out the closet.

You felt embarrassed. Humiliated.

You thought you had a connection, but clearly you were wrong.

Fuck you hated yourself

Ellie would probably never look at you again.

You were so fucking embarrassing.

"Bubble gum down my throat and it's a curse

But my luck couldn't get any worse

'Cause I swallowed the bubble gum

Oh, and these seven years will be pretty dumb

Pink flowers grow from my skin

Pepto Bismol veins and I grin"

It felt like seven years had gone by.

Its been 4 years since the kiss, but it felt like its been longer. After the kiss situation with Ellie, she avoided you like the plague. She never spoke to you again and you hated yourself for that.

Not only did you lose the girl you felt so deeply for, you lost someone you considered a best friend.

Little did you know she was beating herself up too. She was mad at herself for walking away. She was mad at herself for not kissing you back.

She was too embarrassed to look at you.

Ellie never tried again with any other girl, her heart belonged to you. Even though she wasn't sure what she would do to win you back, she knew one day you'd be hers.

Every time you would walk into a room where Ellie was she stopped breathing. If was as if bubblegum was stuck in her throat.

She wanted to talk to you, but the words were stuck.

Every time you were close to her, she'd always imagine all the things she would say, how you'd react, all the possibilities of what could have been.

But she was too pussy to say something about it.

As if her luck couldn't get worse Joel died. Everyone in Jackson could see how it affected her.

Ellie was sad but she was soon filled with rage. She had to go after whoever killed Joel. When she decided to leave Jackson, she had to say bye to you.

Ellie walked to where your house was and she knocked on the door. You opened it and she remembered you were wearing a pink flower dress.

Why was she here?

"I'm leaving Jackson"

Your eyes widened and you stayed silent for a while.

"I'm coming with you"

You stayed by her side the whole time. You were there for her the whole time.

One night you woke up to voices talking downstairs. Cautiously you walked down the stairs and you saw Ellie sitting with Tommy.

"Hi Tommy" you smile.

He gave Ellie a serious look before he walked out, not even saying bye to you.

Ellie turned to you with a sad look, and you could feel the tension in the air.

"You look so nice in your shirt" you say hoping to ease the tension.

It didn't work.

She told you about Abby. She told you that Tommy found her. She told you that she was leaving you to find her. You stayed silent as she explained everything to you.

"Say something" she begged.

"This is sad"

"What is?"

"It's sad because it just hurts"

You stayed silent before speaking up again: "I understand you miss Joel, but killing her wont bring him back. You're choosing someone else over us."

"We're not even together" Ellie hissed.

"I never forced you to come with me"

"Fuck Ellie don't you see?" You yelled "I'd do anything for you, but would you do that for me, too?"

She stayed silent at your words.

"I left my life for you, i wanted to be with you. I loved you Ellie! Open your fucking eyes"

She never responded, she got up and she walked out the door.

"Run like you always fucking do!"

She left you. She was gone for 3 months. You were going to give up hope.

Until you heard the front door opened. You ran down the stairs and you saw her in all her glory.

She was bloody, dirty and she had a few fingers missing.

"You're still here" she said with relief she fell to her knees and you ran to her.

Tears fell from both your eyes before Ellie muttered "killing her wont bring him back"

You smiled as Ellie retold the story in her vows. The officiant cleared her throat "i now pronounce you... wife and wife! You may now kiss your wife"

Ellie immediately grabbed your face, and the two of you shared a passionate kiss.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and you felt her smile into the kiss.

This is what you've always dreamed of.

<3

[avelera]

I’ve been enjoying the Wondrium course, “The Birth of the Modern Mind: The Intellectual History of the 17th and 18th Century” much more than I expected to (based on the title). It certainly helps that the lecturer is extremely passionate about the subject. He also has a thick Jersey accent which makes it feel a bit like being lectured to by Danny DeVito.

But what really enraptured me about the course was its focus on how historical peoples thought differently than us, through the lens of how ideas we take for granted today were first introduced.

For example, one might think it obvious that, ideally, the pursuit of philosophy (as in literally “the love of knowledge”) and intellectual pursuits should be with the overarching goal of bettering the world. But that wasn’t a given, necessarily, before Francis Bacon who pioneered and championed this idea. His views became central to the later established British Royal Society, which formed a backbone of intellectual pursuits in England to this day, and likely plays a large part in just why this philosophy is deemed central to the sciences to the point of being self evident (at least, again, as an ideal).

Now, the reason I’m interested in this beyond basic curiosity is that I write historical and fantasy fiction. One goal I have when writing other times and places (real or imagined) is to capture or at least suggest and invoke a different thought process from our own. So this course is very useful in understanding how early modern people (in Europe) thought but also by extension how to create other, fictional ways to depict a different thought process. One of my favorite quotes already from this course, paraphrased, is that if we were sent back in time to a totally foreign, perhaps ancient era, we’d probably grasp pretty quickly what the rules for survival are. Like, how to make a living. Or how to not piss off the powers that be.

However, why everyone is doing what they do, how they think about the world, what basic assumptions they take to be self-evident and immutable, might be harder to grasp. For example, why do they simply accept the divine right of kings? Or that a deity makes the sun rise and set? Because they just do. That might be quite hard for a modern person to reckon with or accept.

(This particular question is quite close to my heart because I once disagreed with my Classics advisor about whether we’d get along with Bronze Age people if we ever got the chance to meet them. My advisor stated that ancient people would be utterly alien to us. Perhaps all she and I really had was a failure to communicate nuance, but I was baffled and outraged by the notion. Ape mothers with their babies have been able to recognize and on a basic level, identify and communicate with human mothers holding their babies sympathetically. Both understand they were mothers with babies and bonded over this. You’re telling me that I, as a fellow homo sapien, couldn’t communicate and understand a fellow homo sapien from a mere 3,000 years ago?? However, if the nuance instead was, “You could figure out quickly how to work within their society but you’d struggle with the rationale of the why of their society, it would be utterly alien to you.” That I would much more readily accept.)

Anyway, I highly recommend this course, especially for fiction writers who want to capture and understand that the way we think has evolved (speaking for the predominantly “Western” Anglosphere) and by extension, how to understand and portray other more archaic forms of thinking.

[fuckingyrs]

The sound of a body throwing itself onto one of the infirmary cots echoed through the mostly empty room, followed closely behind with a dramatic, but melodic sigh. “Can I say something mean?” 

“Probably not in front of the baby.”

Will groaned, looking up from his pile of patient reports he had been sorting for the past… year. “I hardly think eleven still counts as being a baby.”

Lee, who had been refilling first aid kits for the past two hours, contemplated this for a moment. “Maybe, but that’s besides the point. I’m six years older than you. You’ll always be a baby.”

“I’m going to say something mean. Will, cover your ears.”

“I’m not covering my ears, Taylor. Unlike you, I’m working right now and I need my hands.”

“Oh,” Taylor dragged, a taunt evident in her voice, "someone's grumpy.”

“He’s mad I put him on infirmary duty during arts and crafts.”

“Will, you aren’t good at arts and crafts.” Lee slapped her arm. “And you like working in the infirmary, you are constantly taking my shifts. It’s why I love you.”

Lee slapped her arm again. “Taylor, what the heck.”

Taylor groaned, “Fuck. Just say fuck. I’m begging you.”

“That’s besides the point. I had it with Cecil. We were going to finish our board game.” Will turned to Lee, pointing an accusing finger at him, “You knew this.”

Lee let out a long-suffering sigh and Will almost felt bad for causing a fuss, but really, Lee brought this upon himself. “Taylor, stop pawning off your shifts to Will. Will, stop letting Taylor’s pawn off her shifts to you. Also: I’m sorry about arts and crafts. The last few days have been hectic and I needed your help. I’ll make sure to not schedule you over arts and crafts next week.”

“I’m going to be home next week! Mama is picking me up, remember?”

Lee had the decency to look ashamed when he said, “Heck. I forgot. I’m sorry, Will.”

Taylor got up from her self-designated cot and walked over to Will, ruffling his hair once she was close enough. “I’ll take over the rest of your shift, buddy. You go have fun.”

Will shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m already here. Arts and crafts is half-way done anyway. We wouldn’t be able to finish.”

“If you’re sure,” Taylor sighed as she pressed a kiss to his forehead and Will let out a cry of protest because he could feel the lipstick stain there. He tried rubbing it away with his fingers but by the look on Lee’s face and the snickers Taylor was making behind him, he only made it worse.

Lee graciously handed Will a wipe before glaring at their sister. “Taylor, what are you even doing here?”

“I think I made that pretty obvious when I threw myself onto a bed and stated I was gonna say something mean. I came to gossip.”

“You should be at archery right now.”

“Mike was being a piss-baby. He wouldn’t let Josh and I try to hit one another. What’s the point of being in advanced archery if you can’t shoot at your brother? Moving targets!”

“So you left?”

“Yep. I found Silena and she offered to do my nails before I came by.”

Lee pinched the bridge of his nose in a way that resembled an old man at the end of his rope. Will suppressed a giggle at his brother’s anguish as Lee said, “You can’t do that.”

“Do what? My nails?”

“Leave Michael like that.”

“Why? He’s not in charge of me.”

“But I am. And he’s my second in command, so yes he is.”

Taylor groaned, flopping back onto her cot. “One, he’s like three weeks older than me, unfair. And two, none of that is important right now. What is important is that our father was here and didn’t say hi to any of us. Who does that?”

“Our father, apparently.”

Taylor flipped Lee off, showing off her new manicure. It was baby pink, like her lipstick, with a little sun in the center. “He gives those kids a ride, none of them his, and has the audacity to leave before saying hi? Hell, Will over here has never met him. He has time to bring a group of kids to camp, but can’t spare a lousy minute to check in on us? And I can’t say this to Michael or he’ll claim I’m “on the other side”.” Taylor sighed, a faraway look in her eyes. Will had only seen this look on her face a few times before: every time Luke was mentioned. “I’m just tired of feeling abandoned and I’m sick of feeling like it’s bad to think that.”

Lee stepped towards her, a soft, “Tay–” passing through his lips, before she sat up and shook herself out of her stupor.

“Instead of saying hi, he just causes chaos and disappears! He brings Percy back, which is never a good sign. Thalia is driving the sun chariot, and crashes it! Oh, and he brought that new weird kid that keeps bombarding everyone with questions.”

Will saw through the change of topic, and Lee clearly had to as well, but he allowed it to happen. He slapped her on the arm for the third time, “He’s not weird. He’s, like, eight. The kid is just excited. You were excited about camp once upon a time.”

Taylor turned to Will, jerking her head at Lee, “I think he’s finally lost it. When have I ever been excited by anything ever?”

Will grinned, “Yesterday, you beat Madi at Josh’s song quiz and you danced around the cabin for ten minutes.”

Taylor gasped loud and dramatic, clutching at her chest as she fell back onto her cot, chestnut hair falling all over her face in her fall. “William! How dare you accuse me of such things!”

[sturniolo04]

Road Trip Embarrassment C.S.

Bf!Chris x Gf!Fem!Reader

Summary: in which Kailey and Chris take a road trip to the Cape.

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

Kailey and Chris through out your relationship was known for taking at least a getaway road trip to the Cape just about once a month which was your guys normal. you loved doing it and chris loved doing so it was even, so here it is now the middle of March and you were finally on spring break from college and Chris decided now was a perfect time to take your once a month trip to the Cape this week in March.

"you ready to go my love"

he asks you as you smiling as make your way to him dressed in fresh love from top to bottom.

"yes i am"

you cheerfully state as he walks you over to the passenger side of the car getting ready to open it for you but halting his actions to ask.

"did you use the bathroom before you lock the door"

he chuckles. See over the many road trips you guys took to the Cape, chris has learned that you have a small bladder to say the least so he always made sure you guys made multiple stops dedicated to bathroom breaks.

"yes chris i did"

you giggle as he finally opens the door for you, you hopping in.

The ride staring out was very chill so far, your guys shared playlist playing from chris phone on aux connected to the care Bluetooth system as you casually hum along. Chris as comfort places his large palm on your thigh as you get the memo resting both hands on top of his. Throughout the whole entire trip Kailey has been downing and consuming water from her waterbottle which was abnormally huge but that is only because kailey promised herself she was going to do better about staying hydrated, chris noticing this grows worried at how many bathroom break you would actually need to make.

"baby slow down dont drink all of that at once"

he chuckles reaching his hand over to tip your waterbottle downwards to prevent you from drinking more.

"chris i have a headache so i have to stay hydrated"

you whine lifiting the bottle to your lips again.

"okayy well we are going to stop in a minute do you have to pee"

he trails off questioning you as he fixates his focusing fully back on the road.

"no babyy i dont"

you chuckle reaching a free hand to his hair threading you hand through it.

It was about a hour and a half after you and chris made the stop at the gas station and you got sidetracked with snacks and forgot to use the bathroom, which was the whole purpose of the stop. kailey was mentally face palming herself in the forehead feeling her bladder squeeze which was a sign she had to pee. Kailey knew she couldn't ask chris to stop again because they just stopped.

"how much longer till the next stop"

Kailey asks trying not to seem obvious as chris glances over to you.

"um another couple hours im pretty sure"

fuck

"why"

he questions

"no reason just wondering"

you lie attempting to shift your focus to something to take your mind off of the fact you had to use the bathroom.

time skip

it was now only 40 minutes into the two hour destination being the bathroom and it was getting harder to hold it. kailey was bouncing her leg up and down which was serving as a distraction from her not pissing on herself, which caught her boyfriend attention quickly.

"you okay K"

he asks reaching his hand out to placing it on your thigh to stop you from bouncing it not realizing why you are doing so. Kailey didnt respond to him but rather just fluttered her eyes closed deeply inhaling and exhaling. Chris quickly glances at his girlfriend trying to scan her face to see what is going on.

"K whats going on talk to me"

he ask rubbing his hand gently up and down your thigh making continuous shifting eye contact from the road to her.

" chris i hate to do this but-"

you trail off still bouncing your leg looking out of the front windshield making fixated eye contact with the road ahead.

"i really have to use it like bad"

you continue looking over at him with an uncomfortable expression painted on your face from holding it for almost and hour at this point.

"you have to pee"

he exclaims asking you still making shifting eye contact.

"mhm"

you groan out tipping you head back to rest again the head rest in the car.

"baby we still still have another hour to go till the next bathroom"

" i know but im going to piss my pants chris"

you state straining a chuckle out.

"do you want me to pull over"

he asks but not giving you time to answer already doing so.

"oh my god! ih my god! oh my godd!!"

you exclaim as you push the car door open, unbuckling your seatbelt climbing out of the car to squat down.

"there is no way"

chris chuckles out, not trying to focus on the fact his girlfriend was currently peeing on the side of the freeway.

"dont look chris"

you exclaim embarrassed enough as it is.

"im not trust me"

he chuckles out as a few minutes pass.

"are you done K"

he questions still looking away from you making sure there was no one being nosy.

"yeah"

Kailey sighs out pulling up her panties and sweat pants, climbing back into the car, looking at her boyfriend.

"feel better"

he giggles.

"so much better"

you sigh out putting hand sanitizer on your hands

"i cant believe you just pissed on the side of the freeway"

"stop chriss i had to pee really bad dude"

you whine out shoving his arm playfully as he chuckles. This was definitely a road trip you two wouldn't forget.

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @adirtylittleheart @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03 @aaliyahstrn

[hysteriamodes]

The thing with the Alice x Bumby ship and people who support it not only don't understand the ramifications of what Bumby did to Alice and that it's pretty obvious he was continuing with his obsession with Lizzie.

Alice looks very much like her older sister and shares personality traits with Lizzie. So Alice would have ended up the same as Lizzie, assaulted and murdered. Because in terms of the type of serial offender Bumby is, the likelihood of him repeating the same crime was extremely high.

But also they don't understand that Bumby was not only targeting Alice but children, something that you can see in actual, real-life serial offenders like the Golden State Killer, Ted Bundy, or even Richard Ramirez. These were sexual sadists, Bumby is also a sexual sadist. Not to mention, Bundy worked in a suicide prevention call center so I don't know how you cannot draw the comparison.

So, I have had the term "anti" thrown at me, and normally, genuinely, I'm of the mind "I don't like this ship, so I'm not going to read it" because policing people over fictional ships is a waste of time. And I'll be the first to admit I especially hate this ship because I HAD several Bumbys in my life. I was sexually abused as a little girl, so I especially hate this character. And we do have several CSA survivors in fandom, they have had the same feelings. If you're writing a ship that mirrors our trauma, yeah, it's gonna piss people off. But I'm not gonna be mad enough to throw out death threats.

However.

And this is a big HOWEVER.

Largely, the biggest reason as to why I don't like it because anyone who dabbles in this ship cannot manage to keep it IC (in character). They fundamentally don't understand Alice's characterization:

1. Alice is an extremely guarded individual, literally anyone around her treats her like a burden, object, or belittle her sense of being.

2. It's highly unlikely Alice is going to romantically gush over someone, much less someone she put into a position of a mentor, so the swooning doesn't make any sense to me. If you're writing Alice in a romantic relationship, you have to keep in mind that it probably took a WHILE. When I write Alice in romantic relationships, it's a slow burn build up.

3. She likely is very reluctant to share the burden of her mental illness (unless slow burn, see above), so, again, Alice is not going to be the how to open up to people so easily.

4. Alice is extremely independent, most times. You can see she'd rather do it herself, without help unless it's a necessity, and she puts more trust in herself than in people. So, it wouldn't make sense for Alice to open up to Bumby, a doctor, outside of a patient.

And like. These shippers tend to "woobify" Bumby. He's not gonna be chivalrous.

1.He's a sociopath, so his empathy is non-existent. He didn't see Lizzie as a person, he saw her as an object he was entitled to.

2. He showed little regard to Mr. Liddell, his superior, someone he kept going to see, as his mentor. He exploited that dynamic only on the account of Lizzie.

3. The man has a superiority complex, so he won't see anyone as his equal. His ego was too big and he was so full of himself and he underestimated Alice (like everyone else) and doesn't care for her, at all.

So, every time I see this ship pop up, these characters are so woefully OOC (out of character) and that shows me you didn't understand the source material.

If you're into a dark ship, that's fine, but you're essentially re-writing characters so far from the original source material that they may as well be your own characters. You can find a dark ship with Alice, but pick someone better than Bumby. Like, guys, Bumby would have done the same thing he did to Lizzie to Alice and Alice found out at the last minute before he had the chance.

Just saying as an Alice RPer.

[webfics]

Hurt

f!reader x natasha romanoff 

genre: mostly angst and also some fluff I guess 

warnings: mentions of blood/injuries, mentions of death 

word count: 778 

A/N: Haven't written in a while so please let me know if there are any mistakes.

You dragged into the infirmary, clutching the gash on your side. Not only were you bleeding profusely from your lateral, but you had also managed to sprain your ankle during the mission. Nat rushed in after you, focussing on grabbing any medical equipment that would be required and then ushering you to climb up onto the cot. The silence between the two of you was becoming deafening and you didn’t know if you could take it anymore.  

“You looked pretty hot out there” you state trying to lighten the mood, but Nat just ignored you and continued searching for the bandages. She was also injured but no where near as badly as you. She had a small cut above her eyebrow and most likely a few bruises from the hits she had taken but overall, she was fine. Well, physically at least. You could tell by the look in her face that she was pissed off, so you decided to stay silent for a little while. 

Once Nat had readied everything she needed, she got to work on your scarily deep wound. You knew it would scar but you didn’t really care, you were practically made of scar tissue at this point. Nat started by cleaning the opening of the wound and you winced as the alcohol-soaked cloth met your laceration. Natasha looked up instantly and that’s when you noticed the obvious pain in her eyes. 

“Nat..” you started but she looked away, grabbing the needle and beginning her stitches. You watched as her hands intricately sowed your skin shut. It only took her a couple minutes as she had experience in first aid, but it felt like an eternity. “Natasha please…”  you pleaded, hoping she’d answer. She sighed and looked up at you, removing her gloves. “What do you want me to say, Y/N?” She paused, running her hand through her hair. 

“Once again you put yourself in danger and for what? To show off in front of the enemy?” she said in a harsh tone. You scoffed, sitting up on the cot and reaching for a new shirt to put on. “If it wasn’t for me ‘showing off’ you never would’ve been able to get the files” you practically shouted, and Nat couldn’t believe you were saying this. “Oh please...” she started but you carried on. “If I hadn’t distracted those guards with my super cool fighting skills you would’ve been hurt just as badly, we completed our mission and stayed alive, it’s a win-win”  

“You were supposed to stick to the plan, Y/N, but instead you were reckless and acted on impulse” she countered, and you rolled your eyes. “I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, Natasha, and look, I’m not dead so I don’t get what your problem is”. You’re fully aware that you could have died today, in fact if it wasn’t for Natasha practically bashing the dudes head in you probably would be dead right now, but there’s no way you’re going to admit that to her.  

“My problem is you, Y/N. You think you can do whatever you want and have no consequences, but guess what, you’re not immortal.”. She ranted and your annoyance increased. “God Natasha, stop treating me like some idiot who doesn’t know how to look after themselves, I’m your girlfriend not some kid you need to babysit.” She laughed and you couldn’t believe her audacity. “Stop doing stupid shit and I won’t have to treat you like an imbecile.” she mocked, and now you were pissed. “I don’t need you to protect me Nat, I was perfectly fine before I met you and I’m perfectly fine now.” You spat at her angrily. You noticed a hint of guilt in her eyes but she’s quick to hide it.  

“Look… I’m sorry okay, I-” she starts, and you watch her intently, scanning her face for any hint of anger but its melted away. “I can’t watch anyone else I care about die, especially not you” she looks up at you, her eyes fixed on yours. You don’t respond, encouraging Nat to go on. “You may not realise it, but you are everything to me, Y/N. If anything, ever happens to you on my watch, I wouldn’t be able to cope.”  

You grab her hand and look at her in her now slightly tear-filled eyes. “I’ll be more careful, I promise.” You reassure her and squeeze her hand tighter. “You’re not getting rid of me any time soon, Nat.” She smiled and leaned her forehead to rest against yours. “I’m sorry” she whispered, and you smiled. “I love you, Nat” you said. “I love you, Y/N” 

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2023 Part 1

Hello all you happy people! It's now 2024, and with 2023 behind us it's time for my faviorite yearly thing on this blog: my top 20 episodes of the year list!

For those of you new to this tradition or needing a refresher, each year I take 5 episodes each (or less if the show had less), from the various shows I watched that year, and then slowly wittle it down from a massive pile to the 20 best, split into two digestible parts, and let you all enjoy the results. It's one of my favorite things as it gives a nice, personal, wide berth of what happened in that year, gives this blog something unique to do, and allows me to touch on shows I haven't covered yet or may simply not get to for some time, if ever.

2023 was a mixed bag for me, both professionally and personally: It started.. with a kick in the teeth as my cat Stewie died after living a long, fufilling life of looking mildly pissed at everything but still being cute.

He was a good cat and his loss is something I still haven't fully gotten over a year later.

It was a harbringer of change: with Stewie's death we finally moved out of the house I lived in pretty much my whole life, and into a smaller, nicer and far better apartment with my own mini office in my room even and all my children/books/children returned to me. It's taken 6 months but I feel like i've fully settled into my new, wonderful home.

And towards the end of this year as the loss of Stewie still stung all this time later, I got another great change with the addition of Maddie

Maddie was the dog of a close friend of the family who had to go into a retirement home. She needed a home, and now has one in my room looking morose, licking my face and occasionally going under the bed for hours at a time like the cave goblin she is. She was a much needed bolt of sunshine in this storm of a year. I do metaphor good.

So with all these c-changes, how did this blog fair? Suprisingly great but not entirely in tact. Quality wise I do think I did some of my best work this year: I tackled the first apperances of every spider-man, woman and pig in into the spider-verse, the movie itself, finally web swining around a bit thanks to kev with a little more spidey planned for this year, with a tie in for Kraven later this year that's exactly what you think it is. I finally got to do an x-men month, covered rocko's modern life static cling for pride month, and in one of my finest hours, got to do a retrospective on one of my faviroite fairly recent comic strips breaking cat news with the help of my friend emma. Her sponsorship meant I got to cover something great and while few people have read it, i'm happy just to have it out there.

In addition to that I covered Tugs, an osbcure UK series and spirtual brother to thomas the tank engine that involved state mandated death dates for boats, pirates, and eleven minutes of explosions. I finally got to enjoy the madness that was the Telltale Sam and Max Games, with Save the World in the pocket and Beyond Time and Space wrapping up next week. And biggest, best and brightest of all I did a retrospecitve on little shop of horrors, finally seeing both the stage play and original corman film, as well as little shop. And someday i'll have recovered from seeing little shop.

The delay on that though brings me to the other shoe.. this year my productivity was in the basement and my week was at an all time low. Several reviews got delayed, from stewie's death leaving me unable to work for a few days for damn obvious reasons, to the move frequently taking my time or leaving me off balance. Not only that I didn't plan my time off for the move well, so I was left having to rearrange my whole schedule. It's why both pirate month and pride month, proud institutions on this blog, were reduced to a week and a three part special, something I wasn't remotely happy with. Things kept slipping by, and in general it wasn't my best year for getting shit done. I realized i'd simply taken WAY too much on, and thus have scaled back to ten reviews instead of 12 a month, and may scale back further if necessary: i'd rather these reviews be their best and get put through a spellcheck than be glad it's done only to realize I have nother thing that's due yesterday.

Not helping were towards the end of the year, a massively loud noise from my computer fan that made it hard to concentrate, something that's hard for my adhd ass in general let alone with a giant whirring fan that nothing can out loud, and having finally solved tha tproblem thanks to my dad's help.... then having my wrist go out, and while it's recovered now, it meant an extra week off, which sounds nice and was in places.. but was mostly spent in pain or asleep to escpae the pain till I got things to help with that. Then after a nice christmas, a lovely few days after... I got a cold, which spent up a large chunk of my vacation in a sick coma.

I apologize a bit for all the venting as you can tell this year's been a long one. I came out the otherside well with a loveable dog and a great new work/living space, but it was a bitch getting to here.

Thankfully animation wise, the industry wasn't in as MUCH turmoil this year. It still wasn't great: We got more cancelations with Lumberjanes and Phoebe and Her Unicorn announced formally dead before arrival had even started, and cancellations for Inside Job, Star Trek Progidy and Praise Petey, the last two seemingly in limbo as a result, with only one getting saved. While it wasn't the cancelnado of last year that wrecked many a service and nearly ended me, it was still pretty bad and Warner showed zero signs of learning from their lessons: after taking a few months off thinking the heat died down they tried canceling coyote vs acme.. only to then nakedly start a bidding war, making what they were really doing with most projects obvious: making them unaviliable.. and then starting a bidding war for other streamers. I'm not upset many of these shows are on other streamers as their safer from Zaslav there, but it shows just how nakedly greedy, transparently corrupt and blatantly fraudlent Warner Bros Discovery has become.

While the sales of the brilliant Merry Little Batman and sure to be great Batman: Caped Crusader to amazon are GOOD as Amazon has learned what animation means, it unmasks warner as simply doing all this tax writeoff shit to make money.. and then often forgetting to even sell the shows, not carring if no one's buying and just shrugging off someone's heart and soul being cast into the void. The loss of Final Space and Close Enough STILL stings and hasn't gone away even with the maker of the former both having found a way to finish the story and move on with his life.

The cherry on top of this shit sundae is Zaslav, no shit, saying the decision to shelve Batgirl, a movie that was entirely done and could've had the elseworlds label slapped on it if they didn't want it in the DCU, BRAVE. Yes that.. really happened.

It wasn't just Zaslav fucking up this year though, as other execs certainly tried their hardest or were arm and arm with him: The biggest blunder is obviously the strikes which while not affecting animation for the most part, was still a long dark night of the soul that was entirely the fault of executives not wanting to give up the precious theorietical money they could make once AI gets to the point it can create actual things, nor the likenesses of DEAD PEOPLE they should have no right to. Exec behavior was at it's most disgraceful this year... I don't know how that bare somehow got lower but that's the hellscape we're in with both zaslav and iger beign part of the corprate hydra that kept rejecting any deals presented and tended to flip the table and leave in a huff , leaving the negotations for weeks at a time till it became apparent that no amount of veiled threats of starving them out.

That said the strikes... were a net positive: they were long, brutal and threw tv off and delayed a show or two.. but it was well worth it. It helped show just how much actors and writers of all pay levels are needed, got them badly needed pay increases and protections and left the door open to help fiddle with AI protections as while AI isn't remotely good at creating scripts, that's never stopped execs from promoting something anyway. Despite MANY attempts to demonize the strikers, frame them as hollywood elites despite the fact the bulk were just trying to live on and were putting their liveleyhoods at stake to make sure they had one, or paint them as the bad guys.. it never worked. The public held firm, the strikers held firm and deflected most attempts with solidarity, with said big fish they tried to use as propoganda.. instead gladly donating to help the strike keep going. Fran Drescher and co fought hard, and the result is a slightly better hollywood.

And that hope for a brighter future really radiated this year: while Animation is still in flux in places, a lot of the networks hit hard by corprate dumbfuckery last year started to regrow: Netflix, after a year or two of rapid cancellations and baffling decisions, finally regrew it's animation divsions: Outside of Inside Job, most cancelations were shows that really weren't the best idea or execution to start with, and most hits got renewed, with them even picking up Star Trek Prodigy for another season and likely as many as they can carry. They pivoted more to adult animation with hits like Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Pluto, Castlevania Nocturne, Carol and the End of the World and Blue Eyed Samurai, the latter three I wish I got to but i've heard are incredible.

While WBD was still BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSEEEE, it snuck in a few hits with My Adventures with Superman and tons of great stuff I did'nt get too like Scavengers Reign, the beginning of the end for Craig of the Creek, Fired on Mars, and Hair Love, while having a suprise banger in the form of Tiny Toons Loonveristy, proving just how to reboot a classic property once again. Not only that the finale movies for Venture Bros and Metalocalypse came out, which given the last year was a huge fingers crossed thing. But both came out, I got both on blu ray, and got neat posters with them in the bargin and both closed up two of adult swims best series in the way they richly deserved. We also got an Urkel Christmas Movie. I guess.

Amazon continued it's own building: in addition to the dark knight picups mentiond, Invincible and Legend of Vox Machina both had amazing season 2's, with Vox Machina picked up for two more seasons to close it out proper and a Mighty Nein spinoff, with a Belles Helles Spinoff all but guarnateed at some point, and Hazbin Hotel after a truly agonizing year of waiting for someone to announce they had it, finding a perfect home for the happiest place in hell.

Finally, the indie scene, already thriving blew the fuck up. For the first time I nominated six diffrent pilots from various indie creators who all did a fucking great job: Godspeed, Lackadaisy, In Limbo, Atlas and the Stars, and Swift Spark and the Defensive five all had impressive showings and I regret not watching Lackadaisy in time to support it, but I can't wait to see what it brings to the table and to see all of these shows make it to series, not to mention up coming ones like ToonrifiqTariq's "Hey" that are likely going to come out next year.

It's a strange time for animatoin.. but one tha'ts proven you can make your own way, that the big coprations are trying and that in film.. is at one of i'ts brightest: while there ere some stumbles we had masterpieces like Nimona, which also made disney look horribly stupid for homophobically canceling it, Across the Spider verse (which needed to treat it's animators better but still deserves mention), and TMNT Mutant Mayhem.

It was a hell of a year and I can't want to share the best of it with you. And as a result of such a good year there's a few firsts: This is the first year with Anime included and if you want to know why i'ts taken so long it wasn't snobbery.. I just.. plain forgot to watch the ones I DID want to watch the past few years. That's... really it. I usually prefer reading the manga, as it's both faster and less time consuming, and Some of the best often aren't on the streaming platforms I do have. Pluto and Scott Pilgrim got by by being adaptations of something I love with all my heart a piece and thus coudln't bear myself to miss, but I might try to vary up my viewing more next year. I do want to check Zom 100 out at some point.

Anyways the other is that I allowed two dtv movies in here. Now this is with a caveat: It has to be directly linked to an existing animated series, a sequel, a prequel, etc. It's something I never really thought about before, but makes sense: While Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart and Army of the Doomstar were both considered for my film list too and are films.. their the proper conclusion to their stories. Not only that with Pluto's inclusion on this list, we have a series that had episodes only about ten minutes or so shy of both films runtime, so I figured fudging the rules like this was fair. I would've included Craig Before the Creek, but I want to wait to watch it when it comes on HBO Max next month.. and buy it on Physical as I don't remotely trust WBD to keep digtial copies up forever anymore. And really it feels in the spirit of things like operation zero back in the day or in both metalocalypse and venture bros own histories, all this and gargantua 2 and doomstar requieum.

Okay now that's settled this years list is intresting as while there's a decent amount of returning shows most haven't been on this list before. Of the nominees the only returning shows are The Legend of Vox Machina, Invincible, Helluva Boss, The Great North, Miraculous and Big City Greens, with mainstays like Tuca and Bertie and Close Enough sadly gone thanks to WBD being pralines and dicks. Thus our shows competing are an eclectic mix of returning combatants, one for sadly the last times, revivials of old shows, reboots of old shows, two limited series, and a handful of spectacular pilots

These are the shows that I got to see this show and thus entered the running, all sorted by platform since.. there's a lot.

Amazon Prime: The Legend of Vox Machina Invincible

HBO Max: YOLO: Silver Destiny Clone High Tiny Toons Looniversity Adventure Time : Fionna and Cake Aqua Teen Hunger Force My Adventures with Superman Disney+: Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur The Owl House (Final Year) Kiff Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir Big City Greens Hulu: The Great North Futurama Bob's Burgers The Simpsons Netflix: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (Limited Series) Pluto (Limited Series) DTV: Venture Bros: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Special) Metalocalypse: Army of the Doomstar (Special)

YouTube: Helluva Boss Godspeed Lackadaisy In Limbo The Amazing Digital Circus Atlas and the Stars Swift Spark and the Defensive Five

So with our nominees in clear view, who shined the brightest, who didn't and whose going to yell at me over my choices? find out under the cut!

FULL SPOILERS FOR MOST EPISODES ON THIS LIST. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

20. The First Episode (Atlas and the Stars, Pilot)

"Sorry for dragging you into this man. You don't have to trust me but I promise to make this up to you, I swear."

Coming in just under the wire as the last released episode on this list, it's placing is just a fun concidence, we have The First Episode... the pilot for new series Atlas and the Stars. You can watch it here

So it's come up soon but the reason I put MOST episodes on the spoiler warning.. is this pilot and another on the list, I really DON'T want to spoil much as both rely on you watching it, this one in paticular not revealing what the show's premise will be from here on out, instead telling the parallel tales of Atlas, a human from a dying planet who hyjacks a space ship to acheive her dream of endless freedom in the stars, Atmosphere, a shy loveable alien embarking on his first day regestring ships at a space port, and Quasar, the lord of a mysterious planet who keeps having to sacrifice.. somethign to a portal to keep it alive... and it can't keep up forever and his beligeured assitant nebula. ALl of this comes togeter in a beautifully animated, well active and creative sci fi adventure with one hell of a hook from where it goes form here, awesome character desgin work and some neat sci fi tek in Atlas' googles. Miranda Toomey used every inch of whateve rbudget she had to make this and it turne dout gorgeous, and I can't wait to see the next episode in this and how this story progresses. It's well done, gorgeous, heartfelt and engaging and I recommend you go watch it before we move on to our next entry.

19. Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Venture Brothers, Finale Movie) "All you need to know is the person who gave birth to you loves you, I promise you that"

From a start to a finish we have Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart, the long awaited and thankfully came out with a dvd and everything ending of the Venture Brothers. It's shockingly low on this list, but as much as I love this series.. it came out in a tight year with some even better finales, and had the burdern of having to cram in a season's worth of content, even with the cuts they made, into an 84 minute film.

The results are still excellent: Radiant is a fun, frantic race to the finish line that satisfyingly answers a lot of the series biggest questions: Who the boys mom was, how Monarch and Rusty are related, can HELPER fire a shot gun, will Hank and Dean reconcile... all the closure we needed in a tight 88 minute story that also includes classic hip hop traick it's takes 2, magnetic shenanigans, Hank using giant novelty checks for money, dermott using a piss filled super soaker, dean thinking he's a vampire, a halfway house for supernatural heroes, and Mantilla, one of the series most delightful villians and one I really wish we'd gotten proper time with. It's a joyous reaffermation of what this series is about, has nice moments for most of the best cast members, including Brick Frog my beloved, and ends on a mostly satisfying note. It also gives us a golem made entirely of pants and isn't that the greatest adventure of all?

18. "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!" (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Episode 5)

"You've known him for three f***ing days!" "Is that all it's been?!" Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was an easy faviorite this year and given my longstanding love of the Scott Pilgrim comics and like of the movie, it wasn't a huge shocker i'd love whatever the anime turned out being. I was pumped from the announcement, worried it'd just be "the movie but animated" when the cast was announced.. and then over the moon when it turned out that no, the cast was all coming back but the take on the franchise was all new.

What we got wasn't the straight adaptation that was pitched.. and was all the better for it. If you haven't seen Takes Off.. please do it's fantastic, I did a whole review on it, go, and if you won't then this is your last warning as I can't really talk about the episodes of it on this list without getting into spoilers as it's one of those series where the first episode twist.. defines the rest of the show.

Okay we good. So the first episode progresses as normal, a few tweaks to let you know this is it's own universe, enough character moments to show that even with the film voice actors the main cast is closer to the comics..... then Scott seemingly dies.

From there things go off the rails, and that's where the magic kicks in: While Scott's still key to the story and turns out, naturally, NOT to be dead, instead kidnapped by a mysterious portal, Ramona takes the lead, with us getting to know her better now she's the pov character instead of the guy worshipping the ground she skates on. While Ramona was fleshed out in the comics, the series gives her more to do as she solves this mystery. It's intriguing, it's fun, and it gives Mary Elizabeth Winstead the chance to play a more fleshed out version of the character with more sides to her than "aloof".

What the series also does well.. is go the fuck off the rails. Matthew uses his newfound confidence to punch gideon out of all his companies and fancy suits, Gideon becomes the best worst couple with julie, and Young Neil becomes a spacey moron who assumes the mysterious person writing a script based on how the story originally went is his sleep paralysis demon. The series has a lot of great character, animation and development as Ramona's forced to .. talk with her exes instead of her new boyfriend punching most of them for her.. but it can't be forgotten it's also delightfully nuts, easily the goofiest this franchise has gotten and i'm here for it.

That brings us to "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!", easily the biggest shit post of the entire series, and one of the funniest episodes of the year easily. While the previous ones are a bit melancholy in tone with the goofy stuff as a nice side dish, fitting how scott pilgrim rolls, LCS is just one long farce with Ramona struggling to get any detective shit done while Wallace wrecks envy and todd's relationship, Edgar Wright but voiced by Kevin McDonald slowly looses his mind, and Neil gets into various shenanigans while only being a quarter aware of anything going on, including what was in the script his sleep paralysis ramona from the future wrote.

The setup is simple: Toronotwood is making a film based on how scott's story usually go, again ghost written by a mysterious sleep paralysis demon, and hired Lucas and envy to play scott and ramona. Lucas got can...something for dating a 30 year old who looks like a high schooler, so now i'ts todd clumisly shoved into Scott's clothes. Wallace is also there, having throughly humilited the notoriously straight actor playing him out of a job and letting his ego grow 15 sizes that day.

What follows is a mocumentary masterclass as Envy and Todd can't stop being horny for two seconds, Wallace making out with Todd and being his bi awakening reading them to constantly "run lines in his trailer", Neil is hilaroius and you will repeat everything he says and Ramona is left bobbing around unable to actually get any answers.

This all leads to a delightful explosion as Todd falls in love with Wallace, Wallace is a callous dick, Wallace sicks his stunt doubles on Envy, Ramona is sicked on them, and everyone is confused, all cumilating in todd binge eating poutine and crying, an option I wish americans had but alas we are poutineless while Matt shuts down the production then sputters like a kid who got a lucky punch in on his bully when he finds out Scott is alive. Also Knives and Stephen get a meeting with him leading to the greatest musical of all time.

As you can tell this episode is very stupid and I love it. It's just 100% nonsense the whole way through, letting Wallace do something since the only main character who isn't Ramona he interacts with is in the future right now. There isn't much to disect, i'ts just pure comedy gold with props to both Kirean for really nailing a more douchestastic wallace and especially Brandon Routh who has shockingly deep comedic chops. A great episode and a nice break before we dive full speed into just where Scott went.

17. Lackadaisy (Pilot Episode)

Old Man River! That seems far too austere a name for something made of mirth and rage. O, roiling red-blood river vein. If chief among your traits is age, You're a wily, convoluted sage.

Is "old" the thing to call what rings the vernal heart of wester-lore? What brings us brassy-myth made kings. And a preponderance of bug-type things.  To challenge titans come before!

O, demiurge to a try at Avalon-once-more?

And what august vitality in your wide aorta stream. You must have had to oversee alchemic change of timber beam to iron, brick and engine steam!

Your umber whiskey waters lance the prideful, sober sovereignty of faulty-haloed temperance, and wilt her self-sure countenance; Yes, righteousness is vanity.  But sport's for imps, not elderly.

So if there's a name for migrant mass of veteran frivolity That snakes through seas of prairie grass and groves of summer sassafras; a name that flows as roguishly as wild waters, fast and free, It's your true name: Mississippi.

That beautiful poem opens up Lackadaisy, thank you wiki so I didn't have to transcribe that whole glorious thing, as a roustabout cat in 1927 St. Louis names rocky spends the first few minutes playing fiddle, basking in the glorious moonlight and waxing poetic about the mighty missisipi. It's a beautiful opening that shows off the series deft animation and MIssouri setting, something that makes me want to learn more about my own state's history. It's clear from the word go a LOT of love and research went into this setting, and given creator Tracy Butler had started Lackadaisy as an even MORE lavishly drawn webcomic.

Lackadaisy has a simple setup: three cats working for the titular saloon, Rocky, our dreamy narrator and mild loon, Freckle, his grumpy sidekick whose perhaps a bit TOO good with a gun, and Ivy, a peppy girl who takes jabs at Rocky and flirts with Freckle. I .. I ship the fuck out of it. These two are adorable. The three are robbing a body for canadian hooch but have to deal with the deathly serious and deathly hot, Mordecai Heller and his much more excitable, jokey and bloodthristy associates Serfafine and Nico Savoy.

The short is mostly a tense back and forth between both parties as our heroes barely surivive, we get a lot of good Ivy and Freckle content and Rocky saves the day by hyjacking a goddamn steam shovel and loading it with dynamite while waxing poetic and laughing madly. If that's not enough to get you to check it out if you haven't, I have clearly failed in some way as Lackadasiy is excellent and like Atlas and the Stars, leaves me wanting more of this cast. I'll defintely be reading the comic and plan to at least try to get the print editions coming up soon, as the pilot does a good job of showing who these characters are simply by action.. but leaving you questioning WHO they are and how they all ended up in a failing saloon, and why say Mordecai spares Ivy towards the end. Whatever it is I only want more of this, and am so happy those of you who weren't late adoptres like me helped get us a full season 1. Thank you so much and I can't wait for this show to show up here again. It's gonna be a riot and Micheael Kovach steals the show any time Rocky speaks, while SunWongCho is just... amazing as Mordecai and gives us a great antagonist to work with, a classic mystery man whose side your not sure who he's on, you just know he's a threat when he shows up.

16. Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake, Season 1 Episode 2)

Does somebody jump for joy? Does somebody cry? Now that I'm not part of that sadness? Does somebody want me now? Now that I can’t fly? Now that I'm not part of the madness? Part of the madness?

Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake surprised the hell out of me in the best way possible. See while I never stopped caring in SOME way about adventure time, my dropping off mid series after ... THAT happened in Breezy, only coming back occasionally for an episode or two, the orgalorg arc and the finale, I really wasn't interested. I did enjoy the two episodes of Distant Lands I saw, Stakes was excellent and Together Again felt like a more fitting final chapter to the series. Both didn't feel like continuation of the story: Stakes was a coda giving us the Bubbline content CN denied us and Together Again is an Epilogue, set at the very end of Finn's story.

So I was kind of.. Meh on Fionna and Cake's announcment. I wasn't against it but I'd just never really cared about these two, with the series having made two great episodes about them (and two more I hadn't seen at the time), but the whole "created by a creepy old guy" part of it always held me back from fully embracing these two. I was badly hoping they'd throw away the whole fanfic conceit and just move on.

They didn't do that.. but Fionna and Cake not only found a way to revitalize that, but reminded me WHY the original series was so strong. Fionna and Cake grew up with the original audience, a piece about metafiction, fandom, growing up, and depression all made wonderful and really stretching the property as far as it'll go and i'ts unexpected season 2 greenlight makes me all too excited.

The thing I was most excited for though.. was still greatly done. Alongside Fionna and Cake getting a slice of life makeover thanks to Simon going back to "normal", we get some closure for Simon who ended the series seemingly fine: Betty is gone, but he's sane, Marcy gets her real dad back, job done right?

Adam Muto, Adventure Time's ep from season 6 and the archeticht of most things from Rebcca Sugar's leaving till present day, disagreed, planning a simon special for distant lands before rewriting it for this series. And it points out something a lot of fans noticed about this ending: it's.. not okay. Simon lost betty AGAIN, and is now trapped in a world he never made.

And the series makes this into his arc, how does he fit into this world, and what he tries to do to escape it instead of dealing with it. Simon Petrkiov paints a picture of where Simon's been in the 10 year time jump between Come Along With Me and his debut in this series, Simon Petrikov.. and it's a deeply depressing picture.

Simon's a living exhibit on the humans floating island, unable to connect with his fellow humans as he can't relate to them in any way shape or form. He's a 20th Century man and their 24th century men and women. Not helping is an overzealous, or sweet fan girl he keeps shooing away who just CAN'T understand that the man who wrote Fionna and Cake.. ISN'T the same guy making toast in a fake apartment and watching Cheers every day. The Ice King was PART of simon, but they were never the same person and every reminder of the hell the poor man went under, the things he did, the people he hurt just reminds Simon how far away he is from home.

Not helping is something all too common with depression and trauma, something I know all too well... Simon won't open up to people. He doesn't get help (and as we learn via a minerva bot in the finale Therapy was ALWAYS there for him), and he keeps space from the surrogate family he does have. He dosen't want to "ruin" marcy finally being in a good place and thus barely calls her, content to just visit and pretend things are okay. Finn TRIES reaching out.. but while he's older, wiser, and beardier now, and to my delight still with Huntress Wizard (and in headcanon in a throuple with Flame Princess, but that just me. ), but he's still an adrenline junky raised by a loveable manchild who can't quite relate to someone like Simon, who just wants his old life back.

All this is punctuated by the return of Rebecca Sugar, who sings the beautiful and tragic "part of the madness" which sums up where Simon is: he's normal, he's who HE wants to be.. but the world simply feels like it rejects him, when really he's just as much rejecting it. Instead of trying to find some calm in the storm of this life and admit he needs help.. he chases betty, trying badly to get her back even though it just.. isnt' possible.. and causing this series as a result. He just can't let go.. but the series shows him he has to if he wants to truly live.

15. Miraculous World Paris : Tales of Shadybug and Claw Noir (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir World Special 4) | In the daytime, I'm Gabriel Just a normal man, with a normal life But I have a secret I must keep at any cost Or all hope will be lost. Miraculous! Fear is a cage! Hear the message, answer the call! Miraculous! Yes, you can change! The power of love will free us all! Miraculous!

Yeah after two years of watching it, Miraculous Ladybug actually made this list. I'm shocked i'ts both this high AND this good. See while i'm a fan of Miraculous Ladybug, most of the fandom is more a fan of what it could be, the potetial it'd have if Thomas Astruc hadn't been the one mostly running it for 5 seasons and running it straight into the ground into the molten core of the earth. The Recent film, while far from perfect, felt like more what the series SHOULD'VE been, with the secret id bullshit resolved by the end of what's essentially movie/season 1, Gabe given more depth etc.

So i'ts ironic that in the same year the show itself, via it's spinoff specials gives us ANOTHER universe that's way better than the mess they've made of the main timeline with Miraculous World Paris. Mirror Universes are nothing new, to the point Kev and I have a whole series on mirror universe episodes featuring this very special planned, starting later this month.

With Ladybug's lack of subtley, misuse of good ideas and goofy incompetence, I assumed this special would be at best goofy fun with overblown multiverse and mirror universe tropes. Instead... it's the single best episode of the shows run, a truly moving piece that made me enjoy mirror universes again the same way Fionna and cake has made me enjoy AU's again

Miraculous knows just the right way to make evil counterparts: instead of the earth 3 versions of Marinette, Adrien and Gabriel the complete opposites of our heroes or just "Evil, Evil and less of a prick", Shady Bug, Claw Noir and Betterfly are all the same people we've come to know, simply gone down a diffrent route. Gabe is a better person, having STARTED as his earth 1 shitheal self working with his earth's eviil shadow overlord supreme... the loss of his life somehow changing this course. Instead of using the butterfly miraculous to try and bend the world in shape to get his wife back, he honors her legacy as Betterfly, helping others, something that seems IMPOSSIBLE for our gabe to consider without an ulterior motive.. but all too plausible if he just let go of his ego and his wife and let her die in peace instead of holding her in a dome coma and fighting teens. If he accepted he can't control something

Likewise Shadybug is Mari if Alaya hadn't befriended her, if Chloe just kept bullying Mari and Mari never stood up to her, the bullying just made her worse. If her parents WEREN'T there to support her: the bakery and her room is.. but it's very clear her alternate parents just aren't the loving duo our Mari's are. This is the kind of Mari that would've easily become an akuma.. but instead becomes something WORSE thanks to Supreme, a mysterious entity linked to the guardians, very heavily implied to be earth 3 Master Wu, who gives out the miraculouses to those who can tighten his grip on earth, and selected Mari and an Adrien who never went to school and thus never got out of his shell and is even MORE distant form his dad due to Gabe's new job as his pawns.

It results in a tearful battle as our heroes are both forced to TRUST the best life version of their nemisis, and battle what easily could'e ben them, while their counterparts find out , after Shadybug tries the wish thing, that supreme was using them and their lives are being drained by overusing their powers, explaning why the regular miraculouses limit our heroes to one use of their powers and limited timing. This is what happens otherwise and Monarch is all too happy to take advantage of that. There's more to this special, a lot more I can't wait to explore in april, but needless to say Miraculous World Paris.. is what I wanted from this series: a creative, tightly told, heartbreakingly well done superhero story with tense action, creative uses of the kwamis, and good character stuff for BOTH versions of our protagonists. I'ts a true masterwork and I wish THIS is the show we got more consistently.

14. The Amazing Rudy (Bob's Burgers, Season 14, Episode 2)

"I kinda walked away on dinner with my dad and her boyfriend and dad and his vicky for the first time which I guess how family dinners are gonna be from now on and I guess technically... I ran away"

It's weird but despite my deep love of the Great North (Which for the first time since it's debut missed the list this year, but damn did it have a good one, even if season 4 had to wait for 2024), until this year I wasn't consistently watching it's sister show Bob's Burgers anymore. I liked Bob's, I loved the movie, I had nothing against it. But any time I tried to get back there'd be an episdoe that just took me out. So now while I won't watch every episode, I still watch most, as the show is good as ever, if not on a comeback after a few seasons apparently felt (if TV Tropes is a good indciator) as very hit and miss. Season 14 is fantastic and it's no surprise it's second episode ended up being one of the series best.

The Amazing Rudy is something completely different in tone and staging, with a more melancholy peanuts style soundtrack, a somber tone and more muted humor. It fits perfectly, as the episode isn't centered around the Belchers this time but Louise's best friend, future husband and morality pet Rudy. The show has had secondary character spotlights before, Rudy getting a few himself, but usually the Belchers are still front and center and one of them still plays a major role in following this character around. For instance a few episodes later we get "bully-leive it or not" a zeke spotlight episode, but one where the other three kids are still very present: Zeke and his shameful past are the focus, but Louise and Tina still figure heavily into the plot, louise nearly bullyign Zeke's former bullying victim thinking the guy bullied zeke and that's why zeke freezes up seeing the guy, while Tina guiding the kid around is what kicks things off. The two aren't the focus, but it still feels like a bobs burgers adventure, helped with a bob subplot where he grapples with Jimmy Pesto, now played by Eric Bauza after a long absence thanks to his previous actor being an insurrectionist which lets face it Jimmy totally also was or at the very least thought about before finding the air fair was too much.

Here the focus is on Rudy to the point it feels like an episode of a Rudy spinoff show that does not exist but we now all want it too. It's still in Seymour's Bay (Which I forget is the name of the town this show takes place in as mostly people we know are in wonder wharf or on ocean avenue), just following Rudy as the lead instead. The Belcher's show up, in the middle of a bob's burger's episode we'll never see about Gene getting good grades and thus getting baked potato lasagna, a recipie he made up and assumes "everyone else must enjoy" is part of the reward, with the payoff him realizing he can't force someone to love his abomination, but he CAN have their portions. Being Rudy's closest friends and future wife it makes since there the ones he talks to when he goes to the mall with his dad to get a magic trick for the night and a snappy hat when he crosses them.

The Belcher's presence also hammers home what Rudy's dealing with though and that's.. a loss of family. Rudy's Parents are divorced. This isn't a new fact as it's come up casually in the past: being the kids Teddy, i.e. the person closest to them in their age group to be clear, not the person who defintely has passed by the restraunt at night every night and just.. stares in the window. But being the kids most prominent supporting character, with Jimmy Junior and Zeke a close shared second, we've gotten to know him: his parents divorce is amnicable, he alternates weekends, and they've both moved on. We haven't really seen his mom but Rudy seems just fine with her and with his dad being his primary caregiver, is a bit closer to him, as shown in this ep as the two are adorably in synch and have their rythm.

See Rudy didn't LOOSE his mom or dad, both are still very present.. but he lost the three of them as a family and until recently had their monthly "We're still a family' dinner", what, as we learn in a heartbreaking montage i'll get too shortly, was a monthly family dinner and became a way to show that both his parents still loved him and still liked each other even if they weren't together. The problem is while a well meaning gesture, both parents have started bringing their partners, which is fair but makes it less a family dinner.. and more Rudy stuck with four adults having a hangout who accidently forget he's there. While I never went through one of these as a middle schooler when my parents broke up, I know the type of event Rudy deals with all too well: it's mostly adults, there's no one to talk to and your alone. Granted I was fine with it because I just.. read whatever book I brought anyway, but rudy is a social butterfly, an awkward awkward butterfly, so he has no idea how to handle this, or really deal with it.

His one ace in the hole is a magic trick, from his faviorite shop, the same one we saw in the magic episode way back. See while Rudy's love of being a magician is another character trait that's come up, this episode gives weight to it: Rudy got into magic not just because he dearly loves it and the person at the shop gladly mentors him and supports his talent, but it's seen in a montage of previous dinners that any time his parents started fighting, before and after divorce, a simple trick reentered the night and reminded them what's important.

Naturally the trick, done using a glass of drinking water and some tablets, goes wrong, and while Rudy's parents encourage him to try again and no one really is mad at him or upset it went wrong and spilled everywhere, he feels utterly humiliated, something we all went through as kids: you screw something up and while your parents don't make a deal out of it, you just can't. Hell I still have that problem. So combine that with already not wanting ot be here and Rudy bounces, his parents not aware he's gone.

Naturally, given the earlier setup, he bounces to the Belchers. And it's easy to see why: The Belchers are a loving, wonderful family, and Bob and Linda not only gladly let Rudy join, but engage with him in a way Rudy's parents simply forgot. Rudy's parents aren't callous... adults simply make mistakes and in likely trying ot make sure rudy's okay with both their partners being there, their partners feel good, the million other things they got going on.. they talked over Rudy. It's what makes this work: we feel for rudy, but it stings more that this isn't some problem with an easy fix. There will be plenty more dinners where he's wallpaper and plenty more times they likely forget him without meaning to. The trick COULD'VE helped.. but it failing was a reminder it was just a distraction from the fact his parent's aren't a family anymore, just two people who share a kid, loving him and caring about each other.. but what little bit of what he had before the divorce is just gone.

Brian Huskey's voice as he gives the monologue I used for this episode's quote is just heartbreaking.. you can feel the kid just.. relaizing he can't just run away from it. It's just.. how things are. HIs sad revelation of this just hits, Louise's "Oh boy", and Rudy sounds on the verge of tears.. we've seen him mad, we've seen him kinda sad.. but never like this. Just a child realizing things won't be the same and he has nothing to do but go back to it.

Thankfully as bob and linda mindly panic after realizing "oh god this child just ran and his parents don't know oh god", Louise knows what her best friends need and offers to walk him back. not only is the moment shiptastic.. it's sweet. Louise gets Rudy is having a hard time with all of this and needs some support, needs someone his own age there to talk with and to help deflect attention. And to punch out anyone on the way who tries to hurt them with brass knuckles, which naturally linda gave her as santa. After all he IS from the streets. It provides a pretty morose episode an utterly sweet ending as the two walk back, Bob couldn't be prouder, and Rudy.. for now at least.. isn't alone among his own family anymore. He may never have what he had back.. but he's gained someone pretty good along the way.

13. Watching and Dreaming (The Owl House, Season 3 Episode 3, Series Finale)

"Eda, King, Thank you for Everything" "Right Back atcha kiddo" "Weirdos?" "Weirdos"

The Owl house was the best show of the 2020's and while it had some stiff compettion this year, it still hasn't been surpassed. It was hilarious, had a wonderfully built messed up world with lots of thought, deep character arcs, and was sadly cut short way too soon, but will never leave the hearts of those of us who loved it.

So thankfully they stuck the landing, as Watching and Dreaming was a worthy conclusion to the series. After the decent but easily weakest of the three season 3 specials "For the Future", Watching and Dreaming is a nicely packed finale that wraps up the series wonderfully and while it leaves me wanting only MORE, MORE DAMN YOU MORE, as the series always had, it's a good note to end on while Dana gets the hell out of mouseton for a while.

It was also the last episode of a show I covered as it came out, with an attempt to do so with legend of vox machina adding way too much to my work load this year to really work out, and as a finale to that.. it was just as welcome.

Watching and Dreaming spends it's first third on the Collector, and while there is a bit of disconnect between what he puts our heroes through and where he left off, with Luz once again hving her anxieties reinforced via a horrifying puppet show, the show quickly recovers as the big three are reunited after two long episodes and several long months in and out of universe: Luz has her other mom and little brother back, Eda has her kids back and King has her family back. We also get a quick show of just how far they've come since the pilot as each one easily bodies the collector's games... and leaves him wondering why they won't play fair, why this isn't working. It takes three people who had to learn their lessons the hard way through tears, isolation and learning their life was a lie, to teach the boy god empathy and unveil that at his heart.. he's just a kdi who REALLY didn't know what he was doing was awful.

Unfortunately just as the collector learns friendship, belos POSSESS THE TITAN'S CORPSE ITSELF and plans to do .. something.. genocidey and after an attempt to just forgive him fails, the only thing our heros have is each other, with Luz's friends aka our other heroes busy saving allt he puppets with their new starry pjamaed pal.

Luz gets a last minute somewhat asspully upgrade, but it's all three together that defeats belos. It's an epic finale but one that nicely focuses on who Dana intended as the core of the series: a child who found her place in another world and learned responsibility and to forgive herself, a witch who learned to forigve and let others in, and a titan who learned empathy, all kicking that blobs ass. And then curb stomping it. It's a moving, fast paced, excellently animated finale with a fun time skip epilogue to tie it all together. Owl House may be gone... but it'll never be forgotten.

12. Army of the Doomstar (Metalocalypse, Finale Movie)

"I am a wheel in the gear of the Klok. I feel not my mortality".

The other adult swim finale movie this year and the one that had the harder road. While Venture Bros got it's movie offer at the same time as cancelation, it took Brendon Small a decade, a whole ass album designed to be as close to a finale as he could get without a lisence and a LOT of campaning to finish his story to get here. Metalocalypse ended just as the final verse of blood, metal and stupidity was about to be written, and it was thanks to Small and the Fans themselves that we finally got it with this movie.

Army wraps up 4 seasons and another movie, a movie I dearly loved when it came out and still do, with an epic. It's darker in tone as the metalocalypse that begun at the start of the series is almost here and Nathan Explosion has a full on existential crisis trying to write the song that will save the world, having no idea how and not helped by his disasterous attempted propsoal to abigail while on a lot of wine and xanax (Props to small for ending a pretty disliked subplot exactly the way it shoudl without just.. tossing it out for time or some shit AND making it tie perfectly into the plot). The films dives into the overexpecations we put on creatives to MAKE US MORE DAMMIT, and how hard that actually is.. but also how fans.. are something to treasure and not spit in their face as our heroes have the whole series, seeing them more as parasites than people.

It maintains the series ballance of having an epic story.. but not sugarcoating that these guys are fucking morons with Nathan charging into a funeral on xanax and telling everyone, Pickels having ot literally be everyone's mom, and Pickles ordering a last meal fo rnathan of cool ranch diritos and choclate milk. The shows as goofy as ever, but adds a heart that's been only glimpsed on occasion as our heroes are allergic to feelings, as our heroes must save the world. We also get some kickass metal music as always, with SOS being a standout, giving us one last awesome dethklok performance and song as our heroes rally the world to show them their not alone.. and they never were. An epic, hilarious, and well done film that manages to cover all the bases it needs to and wrap everything up in 96 minutes. Pretty brutal.

11. The World Vs Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim Takes off Episode 6, Series Finale)

"Hey, because I'll have a lot of trouble saying it later, let me say it now: I love you, Scott. And I run away from the thing that I love. But what I've done in the past doesn't have to define me. Help me keep remembering that, okay?"

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was a thrilling watch but there was one worry I had as it went.. sticking the landing. It set up a compelling mystery, to the point I genuinely wasn't sure who would kidnap scott as while the twins DID have to show up and were likely involved.. it just didn't fit that it was them. It being their robot who being a robot has never eaten anything, thus never eaten meat and would have none of the bilogicial weaknesses of a human, was brilliant as it is hilarious bonkers.

Who sent the robot.. was even better as it turned out to be Scott himself, a twist that told me everything was going to be alright. Specifically this is a scott who lived what this story would've been: Scott beats the exes, gets the girl, and they have a happy relationship and then marriage for 15 years, having become their best selves. The thing the series challenges though .. is if they can STAY better versions of themselves. It's something the other versions didn't really WANT to poke at because it makes the ending less happy: if they don't end up together, what's the point of all this. Yet.. relatoinships break up. Hope Larson, the real life inspriation for Ramona, divorced Brian Lee O Malley. The relationship COULD fail and where would that leave them.

As it turns out.. not great as Ramona bailed when it got hard while being vauge as usual, and Scott spiraled hard into his worst habits, moving in with wallace, again, and rather than figure out where he wen twrong.. wanted to hit undo on what he felt was a sunk cost, a relationship he put his heart into only for it to seemingly fail, even if he still had a chance to save it. Hence the brilliant and only not making this list because this year was paccckkked with good episodes, 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim before this. It also helps the takes off scott spedrun his charater development as future him is everything Scott tries to ignore about himself, his laziness, selfishness, short sightentess and very stupid brain, as a person he really can't ignore because that person kidnapped him because he took a joke Wallace made seriously.

So Scott naturally motors with the help of Future Wallace and Older Ramona, who was indeed the sleep paralysis demon and like her ex husband really sucks at plans, but gives Scott a lift home. So.. everything good? Ramona Grew, Scott Grew, Scott acknowlegeds he never should've dated a literal teenager... we goo dright? Right?

Thing is as this episode reveals midway through... Older Scott REALLY didn't want his past self to take the gamble that he could do it the right way and instead of giving himself tips.. gave himself anti kissing nanites so he and ramona can't kiss, the two naturally thinking it's the exes. We get a great opening here as scott confronts each of them, having only kinda witnessed their changes.. and most don't care. Even Gideon's moved on to Julie, his perfect match and a pariing I can't belivie I love and fits perfectly: their both the worst, and together their awful. Brilliant.

The two seemingly don't solve things.. but thankfully Old Scott is more than willing to show his hand.. as even older scott. Even Older Scott is terrifying, taking some of Scott's good traits.. and making them into something nightmarish. After his failure to change the future, not considering that

Instead looses his mind, training himself in video games and the martial arts for 10 years, all to counter everything his friends and the exes can do... all so he can KILL EVERY LAST ONE. Scott's worst nightmare across all realities has come to past, he's an evil ex.. and the evilest ex of all. Well in terms of power and madness, Gideon still put a bunch of women in jars because they broke up with him who Matt hopefully let out in this timeline.

We get a great fight as the utterly jacked, utterly terrifying even older scott, who nicely resembles evil ryu from street fighter and has pixel effects ala movie!gideon, cleans house, with Ramona wondering if she should just.. leave all this. It's only realizing that's literally all she does that gets her to realize she want sto fight for this, even if it ends poorly, and Scott, already all in, helps her.

Ultimately it's not the duo who win their future this time.. but Ramona's own future, what could be, even older ramona, saving her past self via fusion, a super mode (Just like Sonic 2.. or 3.. or dragon ball.), and some words of encouragment, giving EOS another chance and Scott the beautiful words above.

It's a powerful message and one that's real: it's hard to change.. but it's even harder to get change to stick. You just have to keep remembering it.. and keep trying. No matter how bad things seem.. you can make it better.

This is all helped by the beautiful ending, a pixel version of god only knows as everyone, exes now included, gets to live their best life and we last see Ramona as she dons what we finally find to be her natural hair color, blond (with some highlights because, hey, it looks badass), ready to face the future)... and the best worst couple hyping a sequel that will never happen, but frankly it'd be werider if they didn't, A truly spectacular finale to what may be the best version of this story.

[phobia-sweets]

BTAS Dork Squad

He gets threatened but Y/N (who is kinda his rival/enemy) surprisingly steps up to protect him.

Y/N:"You will leave him alone."

Guy : "Says who?"

Y/N : "Says me."

After that she just gives some lame excuse like "There's a level to how much of a dick person can be" or "I'm the only one allowed to threaten you."

this was fun to write :D

I'm slowly getting back in my...groove? i suppose? For riddler, reader is a vigilante. For the other two, a criminal.

BTAS! Riddler, scarecrow and Mad hatter x reader

Warnings & Notes: None! :D not proofread again

RIDDLER

 Honesty, if you were told that hey. Riddler’s gonna try to reform, work for wacko toys and you were going to attend their party, you’d laugh in their face.

 Sure, you wanted him to stop his criminal ways but… This just did not seem… right? Almost like he was planning something. The Batman seemed to agree – he was almost certain this wasn’t the end of his crimes.

 Watching people laugh and chat away at the party, you sat on your seat sipping at your drink. You could hear Edward talking somewhere behind you, probably with Charles Baxter. The party so far had been quite uneventful. It was nice to be in the middle of civilians, it was much more calming than your nights as a vigilante on the corrupt streets of Gotham. You did feel out of place, though. 

 Turning around, you saw Edward, but not Baxter. Instead, chatting with Edward was someone else. You didn’t recognise them, and it looked like Edward didn’t, either. You couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but judging from Edward’s nervous smile and apprehensive body language, he did not like the situation.

 “Leave him alone.” You commanded, eyeing both of them. Tapping your fingers against the table, you were growing impatient with the man. 

 “Says who?” The man mocks, turning to look at you, walking closer.

 “Says me.” You stated nonchalantly, looking up at the person who had walked up to your table. Their smile faded when they met your eyes, recognising your face. From where, you didn’t exactly care. They muttered a quick ‘whatever’, walking to the exit quickly. You watched them leave, not noticing Edward sitting next to you, adjusting his jacket. 

 “Well, Good evening [Hero Name].” He smiled smugly. “May I ask what brings you here tonight? Didn’t take you for a toy collector.”

 “Am not. Just… enjoying the atmosphere, I suppose.” You sighed, leaning back in your chair.

 “I should thank you for earlier. I wasn’t exactly sure how to get them to leave. They were rather persistent about staying-” He explained, “But still, I wasn’t expecting you here. Especially not defending me. I apologise if I’m mistaken, but you do not like me, correct?”

 “As much as I doubt you’re actually trying to ‘reform’, there’s still a limit as to how much of a dick someone should be. Take it as a… I don’t know, an apology for all the times I’ve punched you.”

SCARECROW

 Having rivals or enemies in Gotham wasn’t that unusual. The city’s high rate of crime and, well, criminals made it easy to gain them. You’d considered yourself rather lucky for not having one despite having a fair share of your own crimes, mostly robberies, with an occasional extortion – Sure, people didn’t exactly like you, but those were mainly the people on the other end of your schemes. It was like that for a quite long time, until you’d managed to piss off Jonathan Crane – also known as the scarecrow, by destroying a batch of his toxin ACCIDENTALLY when you were being chased by the police. You had crashed your vehicle into the wall of an abandoned building, which then exploded in a cloud of red smoke, giving you a great chance of losing the police on your tail, but not without a more than healthy dose of toxin.

 Losing a massive batch of toxin had made him angry. It was honestly pretty obvious, considering when you met him after that and he promptly attempted to gas you. From that point onward, whenever the two of you crossed paths, it ended up in a fight of some kind. 

 So, the last time you two met, he had successfully gassed you. A revenge was in order, so here you were, behind an abandoned warehouse, where Jonathan was working on a new batch. How did you know this? Well, people talked when they had a knife to their gut.

 Sneaking through the broken window into the dark warehouse, you eyed your surroundings. Dust covered a majority of the surfaces, aside from some tables and bottles of various chemicals. The sound of yelling and clanging caught your attention, making you peek from behind the boxes in front of you. Jonathan was there with someone else. Jonathan was lacking his scarecrow get-up – wearing a labcoat instead, probably had been working on toxin before the man had interrupted him. 

 Jonathan wasn’t weak. But the man in front of him was… threatening, to say the least. Watching them interact made it clear that Jonathan wasn’t exactly prepared to fight him. Once the man walked closer to him, you took a deep breath, taking your knife from its holster.

 “You leave him alone – Now!” you stood up from behind the boxes, keeping your other hand hidden with the blade, just in case the man tried something. 

 “Says who?” He mockingly asked, walking towards you, surprised by your appearance. You kept your eyes on him, but saw Jonathan grab something at the corner of your eye. 

 “Says me!” You declared, pulling the knife from behind your back to stop him from coming closer. He didn’t stop though. Not until a cloud of red gas came from behind him, surprising him and causing him to inhale it immediately. You covered your mouth with your sleeve, stepping back. The man started screaming, as they usually do when under the influence of Jonathan’s toxin. He ran, and you turned to look at Jonathan as he watched the man scream in terror with a smile on his face. 

 “A thank you would be nice, y’know. If I hadn’t shown up, he’d have bashed your head straight through that desk. Probably. I don’t know.”

 He turned to look at you, his other eyebrow slightly raised, as if evaluating you. “Well, then, tell me, why help me?”

 “I mean, as much as I want to punch you, I don’t want to see you all bloody on the brink of death.”

MAD HATTER

 Ah, yes. The mad hatter. You weren’t exactly sure how to feel about him. As a fellow criminal, yeah, sure, you had a sort of respect for him, but god, did he sometimes get in your way. 

 Like that one time you were planning on robbing a jewellry store. You hadn’t told anyone about it! Yet somehow when you got there, Jervis was there with his mind-controlled… henchmen? When he noticed you, he proceeded to call you Cheshire, and rambled on something about a teaparty. You just left without saying anything. You made it your mission to avoid him from that point on. Sure, tea sounded nice, but you had a job to do! Steal, run, sell. 

 It wasn’t much of a surprise you spotted Jervis from far away. The hat was usually a giveaway. Not many people wore tophats in Gotham. It was the man next to him that surprised you. Usually Jervis’s henchmen wore a mask, an outfit or a hat related to, well, alice in wonderland. Had to keep the theme. Walking closer, it became obvious the man was not one of Jervis’s henchmen. Jervis looked quite distressed, the man towering over him. 

You sprinted towards the two of them, yelling, “Oi! You stop right now!” You stopped a few meters behind them both, just in case.

 “Says who?” The man turned to look at you, not reacting in any other way.

 “Says me.” You challenged, taking out your pocket knife. The man immediately backpedaled, hands raised to show he didn’t have a weapon.

 “Wow, wow, relax, relax. I’ll go, ok?” He reasoned, walking away from the two of you. You put your knife back when he turned the corner and you couldn’t see him anymore. 

 “Thank you, thank you, let me thank you with a brew!” He exclaimed, holding onto your arm. You thought about it for a minute. It wouldn’t hurt, right? But then again… You had a job and a tight deadline. You turned to look at him again when you heard him question you with a quick ‘cheshire’, and you took his hands off from your arm. 

 “I’m sorry, Jervis. I can’t. But remember; I’m the only one allowed to threaten you, ok?” 

[natriae]

chapter 9

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"Is he my dad…is that why you called him?" Isa asked in a small voice, like he was scared he'd be yelled at for asking such a question. Isa was smart. You knew that he already knew the answer to his question, but he wouldn't have come to the conclusion himself. Someone told him, and that someone was still making his way over even after seeing Ushijima's nasty face glaring at him. Ushijima was stoic and it was hard to tell his emotions, but if you riled him up enough his eyebrows would draw together and his jaw would clench, unable to hold in his anger.

The two adults looked down at the child in his mother's arms, and you quickly said no out of indistinct. On the other hand, Ushijima calmly answered yes. So he does know. Someone told him too, and you're sure you know exactly who. "Who told you that," you asked Isa, knowing damn well who the answer to the question was; however before the boy could respond, another deep voice answered.

"I did," Sakusa stated, now behind you but to the side. Instead of looking at you he watched Ushijima in nothing but disgust. His voice. You can add that to the list of contrast between him and Ushijima. Although both men were stoic and confident in their actions, Ushijima's rich voice would have a guilt to it if he knew he did something wrong. Sakusa however held no remorse for his actions.

Ushijima's voice sounded like a waterfall that lead into a mystical area of the woods. Cherry blossom flowers falling into the crystal lake, and the most pretty flowers surrounding it. Sakusa's voice now sounded like the broken rocks falling down the hill, and then plopping into the water. The water would drown out the rocks. It was clear. Ushijima would always drown out Sakusa in your mind. Be calm in the pain, and protect you from harm.

Ushijima left a kiss on Isamu's forehead and then yours. Handing you his keys, and telling you to go quickly to the black BMW. "What about you?" you asked, not wanting to be alone.

"i'll be there before you know it," he told you, there was something in that statement that held so much more than what was said. I will always be there for you. I should have told you that a long time ago, and I know I can't change the past, but the least I can do is make up for all the lost time. You turned back and walked to the fancy car that was parked in between two parking spots. Hazards on, uncaring to everyone around it. You unlocked the car and hopped into the passenger seat. Isa was still on your lap with his head now hiding in your neck. His sobs were still strong, and you hoped Ushijima would be quick. So much has happened in such little time, and can't slow down now. You adjusted your arms so that one would hold his back while the other massaged his scalp. Leaving small kisses on the side of his face making sure not to press too hard. Everything will be okay. Let your mom and dad keep you safe.

At the front of the park, once Ushijima noticed the two of you were in the car he looked back to see Sakusa still standing there shaking his head. "I told you to stay away from them," Sakusa yelled. His anger was obvious, and Ushijima knew exactly what to do to piss him off more. He wouldn't do anything terrible to him. He knew Sakusa was able to compose himself enough that he didn't lose his job.

"Yeah, but she called me, so clearly she doesn't want you. She'll never want you," Ushijima stated standing tall, "I got an offer to play in Poland," Ushijima continued.

"Why are you telling me this," Sakusa asked confused.

"because I make much smarter choices than you. In more ways than one," You know she'll come with me. You know she wants our son to be happy. You know she would want to have joint custody. You know she would move to Poland even if she doesn't want to be with me. You know damn well that she will not let you get within five feet of her. Sakusa's face said it all. Ushijima had gotten to him with only two sentences. Turning around, Ushijima began jogging over to his car ready to prove to not only his ex-girlfriend but to his son that he is the man he should be. He will take care of them, and dedicate his whole life to them if that's what it took. If he had to leave volleyball then he would.

Getting to the car he quickly turned over to you after quickly buckling in his seat belt. Your eyes were still watering, but watched him in worry. Years later he could still read your mind, and you could read his. He nodded his head once at you and watched the worry disappear. He drove quickly to the hospital, and before you knew it Isa was admitted to a room to treat his wounds. When you guys were getting out of the car Isa had reached out to Wakatoshi, and let him carry him into the hospital. It was clear how much that affected Wakatoshi. From the outside his face remind unmoving, but if you looked closely enough there was a small twitch in his eye that revealed the love and sadness he had towards his son. That was the first time he got to touch his son. His son was already ten, and he just finally got to touch him. The guilt was eating at you knowing what a big deal that is as a parent. You thought about when the nurse brought you your son. 19 years old. You were 19 years old holding the tiny human you created in your arms. Nothing could ever replace the joy you felt in the moment. Something clicked on a spiritual level when you felt your baby boy's small hands reach out to you, and now 10 years later Ushijima is experiencing that for the first time. You couldn't help but imagine a 20 year old Ushijima in that hospital room with you. Would he have cried? No, probably not.

While waiting outside the hospital room to see Isa you grabbed Ushjima's much larger hand.

"i'm sorry," you said in a small voice. Immediately the lump in your throat built up, not allowing you to continue talking. Your eyes shut trying to stop the tears, and soon enough you feel buff arms wrap around your body and pull you into an even stronger chest. He still smelled the same. Tears started to flow more at the revelation.

"don't apologize. You did what you thought was best," I don't blame you for taking my son away. Knowing how I treated you I would never want to inflict the same pain on our son. Let all your tears out. I'm here now, and I won't let you out of my sight. He lifted your head up and leaned down a bit for his nose to bump with yours. Yeah he definitely got taller, or maybe you shrunk. You let a small smile escape as the tears dropped down your cheeks. He would always do this when you were in highschool. Every panic attack or cry he would move your head so your noses were touching, and you could look in his eyes and see just how much he loves you. The moment didn't last seeing as the two of you were still in public. Your tears started to slow, and you remember that there was still blood covering yours and Isa's clothes.

"i should probably run back to the apartment and get us new clothes," you said looking at the blood covering your shirt.

"I'll do it," Ushijima stated, "you should stay here, for Isamu," he finished. You hesitated thinking about what his reaction would be seeing your sad apartment. He drives a god damn BMW for god's sake, but he made a good point. You nodded your head, and handed him your keys. You told him your address and he walked out of the hospital not before telling you he'll make it quick.

At the apartment Ushijima opens the door to see a small open plan. A kitchen on his right, and a small living room in front of him. The first thing he noticed was the lack of decorations. The complete opposite of the y/n he knew. Your bedroom was always full of some nicknacks, and pictures of the ones you love. Taking a few big steps he was already in the living room, and saw one singular photo of you and Isa. Isa was much smaller and had big glasses that made his eyes huge. He smiled at the picture. You were kissing Isa's cheek while he had a big smile at the camera. A small tear had fallen from Ushijima's eye, and he quickly wiped it away. Turning around, the only thing in the living room was a beat up couch and one small table. To his left there was a door that he was sure led into another room. Opening the door he saw another small, white room filled a little more with small MSBY toys that were clearly from a gachapon. On the ground there was a power rangers coloring book with only 3 crayons. They looked to be from a restaurant. In the middle of the room there was a beat up twin bed. There wasn't any light in the room other than the window. There was a small lamp that was hooked on the wall next to the bed. Ushijima imagined you sitting there reading a bedtime story to an even smaller Isamu. Turning he walked over to the dresser to find several different Sakusa merch displayed on the dresser. He quickly found the trash can and put each different thing in there. Once he was done he opened the drawer to find very limited items of clothing. He picked up a red t-shirt, and then opened another draw to pull out black athletic shorts. Once he was done in Isa's room he walked out and turned down the small hallway. There was a door on the side that opened to a small closet. It had one blanket on a shelf and one pillow on top of it. Below the blanket there was a rack with two winter coats. One larger, white one and a smaller, black one next to it. It only took him two steps to reach the end of the hall. He opened the door to find a bathroom. 'Where do you sleep' he thought, 'and where are your clothes'. He opened the bathroom closet to find your also limited number of clothing folded up on the shelf. Your clothing took one small shelf up. He made a mental note to take you on a shopping spree. While looking for a basic t-shirt he found a familiar purple shirt folded up and seemingly hidden. Pulling it out he saw the 'Men's XL' on the tag, and when he was unfolding it he saw the big 'Shiratorizawa Boy's Volleyball'. This was his shirt. He spent years looking for it, wondering where he could have misplaced it, but all of that time spent was a waste because you took it with you. He smiled at the shirt, and left the apartment to head back to the hospital.

Once he arrived he noticed you were now in the hospital room holding Isa's hand. He contemplated knocking on the door or just walking in. It was now an open fact that he was Isamu's father, but he was still technically an outsider. Choosing to knock in the door he waited until he saw you signal him in through the glass. Walking in he held the clothes in his hands waiting to hand them to you. You immediately eyed the purple shirt lying under the much smaller items of clothing. Oh, he found it. You stood up and walked over to the man grabbing the clothes. Your demeanor has become much more awkward. You didn't know how things would go now that Isamu knew that Ushijima was his father.

When you first walked into the hospital room. Isa was lying on the bed with an eye patch, and a large band-aid on the side of his face. He turned to you, but waited till you got closer because he still couldn't see well. Seeing that it was just you, panic flashed through Isa's eye and his first question was if Ushijima had left. You shook your head no and grabbed his hand.

"momma…you're not mad at me right," he asked, not looking at you.

"Of course not baby. I'm not mad at you at all," You said while brushing some of his hair out of his face. You guys had continued to make small conversation till Ushijima had knocked on the door.

Ushijima took notice of your awkwardness, and thought it would be best to leave. Nodding his head once at you he turned around to walk out the door. But the sweet voice of his baby boy stopped him.

"dad…" Isamu called out, looking at Ushijima. The small boy looked over at you to see your panicked face and immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry i-i mean Mr. Ushijima," He said looking back down at his hospital gown.

Ushijima had turned towards the small boy and told him, "I don't deserve the title of dad yet, so let me work for it. Only if your mom is okay with that," At his last sentence he turned his head to you. He saw your face contort in thought and your mouth open slightly. Unable to believe everything that was going on.

Once your brain had caught up you had slowly nodded your head. "Good, now Isa, may I talk to your mom in private. I have somethings I need to apologize for," The little boy smiled and nodded his head once. Ushijima nodded his head once and began walking out of the hospital room into the hallway.

Your brain started lagging again seeing just how similar the two were. Seeing Isa jerk his head over to the door you quickly speed walked into the hallway. Ushijima had quickly gotten on his knees mid hallway and brought his body low to the ground to apologize. Still panicked, you looked around the hallway to see that yes Ushijima was in fact doing this in public, and everyone can see, and two, you brought such a large man to his knees. You decided you will take this as a small win.

"y/n, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. If you give me the chance I promise I will be the best boyfriend. I want you to call me toshi. Hate me, please do. I deserve it, but please just let me prove to you I've changed. I will quit volleyball if that's what it takes. I've gone to therapy, and I've worked on my emotions more. Please," If he had lifted his head off the ground you would have seen his flushed face and the tears fall from his eyes. "There's so much I want to share with you and tell you. I want you to watch me grow, and I wanna watch you grow," Your heartbroke a little at his statements finally realizing just how much pain you caused him. That morning both of you remained with a missing piece in your hearts for 10 years, and if it wasn't for Isa you're sure you would have stayed stubborn and never heard his side of the story. "I spent years looking for you. I went to your parents house everyday for two years, but then Tendou told me I should move on... Did your parents not tell you?" He finally looked up and you could see his red eyes. All the emotions he had been holding in are finally being let out. Getting down on your knees too you grabbed his face, and explained to him that your parents cut off contact with you after they found out you were pregnant. They too didn't know where you were. You could tell there were too many thoughts going on in his head for him to handle, tears fell out of his eyes every few moments and he kept looking away from you. His deep voice no longer held confidence, but it was shaky. The fallen rocks had built up and began to block the water fall from flowing freely. "There were so many rumors about you, and I had to listen to so many people tell me such terrible things about you," finally looking into your eyes he said, "I'm sure you can guess who was the biggest one," his Adam's apple bobbed before he could continue. "So I convinced myself we never broke up, and the only one who fed into my delusions was Atsumu. He believed we would get back together," You hands tightened on his face so he had no option, but to look you in the eyes. You couldn't believe how much everything has destroyed him. Everyone successfully broke the one man you thought couldn't be broken. He looked like a kicked puppy. His big boba eyes stared into yours, and you could tell that he meant it. He doesn't lie. It goes against his morals. Leaning in you gave him a small peck on his lips.

"jima," he perked up at the name, and the little emotions inside your head went haywire, "i need to know, are you mad at me for not telling you about Isamu,"

He shook his head back and forth with your hands still holding it. "you did what you thought was best for your son, and that's all that matters to me,"

"our son," You corrected. He nodded his head once and brought his lips in to hide his small smile.

The two of you stood up and you wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. At that time the doctor had come over to tell you Isa could be discharged as soon as you paid the fees for the visit. Walking over to the desk the lady had told you the total for the visit and the stitches. You couldn't help but widen your eyes at the price. Ushijima took note of this and immediately stated that he would pay. Grabbing his hand before he could reach for his wallet you let out a soft no that you knew would be more than enough to convince him. Handing the lady your card, you bit your lip trying to think of a way you could pay your bills and not be thrown out of your apartment. "Miss, I'm sorry but your card declined. Do you have another," Taking it back you quickly grabbed your credit card for her to use. She swiped the card and immediately made a sorry expression. "this one won't work either. Usual credit cards don't work if you didn't pay for your last spending amount," Your bank had made accommodations knowing your situation, but it seemed they had enough. Embarrassed, you took the card back. He had already seen your apartment, but the last thing you need is your ex, or whatever he was now, to see just how poor you were. Ushijima quickly handed the lady his card. His black card. You had to quickly remind yourself that you will not become Ushijima's sugar baby. Even though it sounded so good. If possible another wave of embarrassment washed over yourself. He probably has never had to use food stamps before. Once the lady handed him his card back he grabbed your hand, and began to walk back to Isa's room. No words were spoken between you guys till you got back to the room.

"Isa and I should probably go home now," the little boy shuddered, probably thinking about how his room was decorated with stuff that would remind him of the man he was now scared off. Noticing this Ushijima was quickly reminded of how he threw most of the merch into the trash can but not all of it.

Without thinking, Ushijima asked, "Would you two like to come to my apartment? I have an extra room." Right away Isa perked up at this and started shouting 'please's at you.

Looking at Isa while he pleaded at you, you couldn't believe your day was just about to get longer.

" I guess so," you said quietly. In a much contrast to your voice the 10 year old boy let out a loud yes.

tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98 @ssc7514 @megumuro

one more chapter guys 😭

[hazarambling]

its 2024 we need to put some respect on baiheng's name

please quickly before any analysis look at my lovely wife i really like her my wife is soft and i like her... look at her she's so pretty WAHH ok analysis time

ok so i was reading the wiki a few days ago and i saw this:

and oh my GOD it pissed me off BECAUSE SHE FOLLOWS THE HUNT!! SHE FOLLOWS THE HUNT!! SHE FOLLOWS!! THE!! HUNT!! like is this not common knowledge?? its almost certainly the driving force to her central conflict as a character, whether to remain with the xianzhou and risk her life for the hunt or to abandon it and become a nameless

like in those bits we see that she, like her parents, was a nameless, but also that she had great luck and used that luck to help the xianzhou in combat, and also she joined the hcq and the hcq were all labeled as outcasts, so maybe her long absences from the yaoqing/the orbit fleets drove a divide between her and her duty to the xianzhou because she just wanted to trailblaze, and this divide between her allegiance to the hunt and the trailblaze is what made her an outcast

also that line from blade always sticks out to me because baiheng is depicted as the one to bring wine to the hcq

so baiheng is bringing them (and consistently, jingliu, but we can assume since nobody else is mentioned to bring wine to them that baiheng is bringing wine to all of the hcq) wine which they used to "drown [their] sorrows"... i wonder who introduced that habit to them, considering she also introduced wine to them... but regardless this isnt directly stated in cannon so i wont focus on it

ok tldr

like just from the fact she fought with the xianzhou (and chose to return even after she'd go trailblazing) shows that she follows the hunt, i dont understand why her lore path is listed as just the trailblaze when its so clearly the main conflict of her character that she follows both the trailblaze and the hunt

ok enough yapping next point

SHE IS LITERALLY ONLY APPRECIATED INSIDE OF 1 SHIP. (LIUBAI) BUT SHE EXISTS AS HER OWN CHARACTER!!! but nooo instead we must have arguments about her because she "ruined the lore" no she didnt, the lore is fully coherent! ofc we dont have all the details but who cares! dan feng and yingxing tried to revive her thats all we need to know in regards to parts of the hcq's lore that had widespread consequences!! im whipping out my passerby analysis im sorry if the image is very small but tldr the beloved FRIEND cant be any other than baiheng its 2024 we need to stop arguing about passerby ok fellas

like im so sick of people only bringing her up in relation to ships, i am like one of like 5 other people who actually like baiheng for being baiheng and not just inside of a ship. baiheng is super cool!!! and so integral to the hcq story!! and also she's really pretty!! and we should talk about her more and appreciate her more!!

also i hate the thought that yingxing making the flask for her and "finally" making up his mind to give it to her has to imply something romantic, she was his beloved FRIEND and even those small words of encouragement she gave him on the zhuming gave him some confidence and optimism. them being friends and these words affecting yx (bearing in mind baiheng seems to be one of the first people to give yx encouragement, because he "seems to have a brighter expression on his face" after baiheng talks to him, why would he react like that if he was praised often) so deeply show how important they are to each other.

and also his choice to do the sedition with df can also be way more impactful because baiheng changed yingxing's life so much for the better, and now he cant stand the idea of her not being around and was grieving so much that he agreed to commit a major crime with dan feng just for a chance of bringing her back

ok now let's wrap this all up and put a bow on it (baiheng would look so cute with a bow in her hair omg)

the fact the WIKI cant even get this right when its so obvious baiheng followed the hunt is just crazy to me and people really need to appreciate baiheng as baiheng!! yes liubai is an amazing ship but she exists outside of it and her platonic relationships with ALL of the hcq are so important! people need to appreciate the hcq as a platonic family-esque quintet and also recognize the individual characters and dig into them all!! ok boom, take the hcq again i love them i hope we get stuff about them in 2.4 i really miss them

[burninlovebutler]

29 - Be My Mistake* // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 5.9k-ish

summary: austin finds himself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with his chosen distraction. as his addiction worsens, the rose colored glasses begin to fog & his grip on control begins to wane.

warnings/notes: aspen lol, agitated!austin, smut, p n v (unprotected), pulling out ~toaster strudel vibes~, fluffy?, exchange of fun words, hints at SA (past, vague), substance use (weed, pills), addiction, short time skips, inherently saaaad u know the drill, plsss don’t be mad at me🫣, 18+ ONLY MDNI

previous chapter -> 28 - Temporary Fix*

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

And be my mistake, then turn out the light She bought me those jeans, the ones you like

I don't want to hug, I just want to sleep The smell of your hair, reminds me of her feet

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

-AUSTIN-

I pressed my back against my front door to click it closed and let out a heavy sigh. My middle finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the tension headache building behind my skull.

What the fuck had I just done?

I did what I set out to do. What I agreed to do.

If I wanted to keep my dirty little secret from her, I needed to follow through. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much – I didn’t think I’d hurt her that much. But the band aid was ripped off and I didn’t want to think of what would come next. The mere idea of losing her - my best friend – it was too much. I needed to numb it out.

Using my right foot, I kicked myself off the door and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk into.

“What the fuck was that about?” Spreading my arms out in exasperation when I walked back to Aspen in my bedroom. “I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are.” She confirmed, dropping her arms to her sides. “I don’t care who you fuck, but it just pissed me off how hypocritical she was being. It’s fucked up of her to show up here jealous over you, when she’s the one with a boyfriend.”

“Did what she say upset you?” I asked, ignoring her accusation of Elsie being jealous.

“The fact that you ditched me at the party to hook up with your best friend then called me afterwards?” Her voice not nearly as pissed as you’d think. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucking shitty Austin. But just as basic decency – not because I'm in love with you.”

“Look – you’re right. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do.” I stepped towards her and took her hands into my own. “Okay? I’m sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”

Chocolate brown eyes glanced up at me, anger flowed into playfulness, “Sure Aus.” She cooed with a wide smile.

The nickname sprung another tinge of pain in my stomach, nicknames were something only Elsie was ever allowed to use. Hearing another girl say them felt forbidden, as if it was some vile curse word you would only hear in snuff films.

“You’re not gonna chase after her?” She questioned, unfazed, crossing the floor to pluck an orange pill bottle from my nightstand.

“What?” I replied, surprised that she’d ask such a thing. I’d never met a girl like her, nothing seemed to really bother her. She must’ve been just as fucked up as me.

“Elsie? The girl that just ran out of your apartment?” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She scanned the pill bottle she picked up, then set it down for another one.

I wanted to run after her, I really fucking did. My insides felt like they were being ripped to pieces, like I ran my intestines through a paper shredder. But I accomplished exactly what I set out to do – push her away.  “No, why would I do that?” I made my way over to her, curious as to what she was analyzing.

“Because you’re in love with her.” The words left her mouth effortlessly, not a hesitation, stutter, or hiccup. She twisted the white cap off the prescription bottle with a crack and poured two white bar-shaped pills from the container. She lifted her hand with an offer, “Want one?”

It took a moment to wrap my head around what she just said. She spoke it with such conviction, like it was a well-known fact. Like it was as obvious as the sky being blue or grass being green. A terrifying thumping pit fell into my chest, similar to one you’d get as a kid when you were on the verge of getting caught misbehaving. I shook my head with a small laugh, waving away the mere suggestion, “I’m not in love with her.”

“Whatever you say buddy.” She shrugged, taking a bar and snapping it in half with her front teeth, swallowing it dry, offering me the other half again. “If you’re not in love with her, then she’s definitely in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stole the half pill, using an overnight glass of water to swig it down. “She’s not in love with me, you must still be high.”

She let out a chuckle at my words, “See? You can’t even say her name.”

“I’m not-” I mentally winced at the involuntary stutter and let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not in love with Elsie”

She gave me a skeptical ‘sure’ look with raised brows, “Mhm, whatever ya say babe.” Plopping on the bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “Just means I get ya for a bit longer.” Her full lips curled into a content grin.

My first instinct was to ask what exactly that meant, but I didn’t want to prolong the unnecessary conversation.

“Wait a minute,” Her brows furrowed, some realization clicking in her head and picked up another pill bottle, reading it once more. A booming laugh erupted from her, “Your last name is Butler?”

My eyes rolled again already knowing what was coming, “C’mon get it out of your system.”

She kicked her legs and fell back onto the bed, “You gonna fetch me dinner Butler?”

“Yep.” I nodded and sucked my teeth, hearing the same thing I’ve heard my whole life. “Mhm, let it out.”

“What about my laundry? You better separate my lights from darks.” She giggled, deep dimples denting her cheeks.

“Alright alright,” I readjusted on the bed, flipping to be on top of her, “That’s quite enough don’t ya think?” Pinning her arms at each side of her head, she reflexively tugged her head to the side to yank the blonde strands I had landed on.

She continued to laugh, “Ya know, an act like this might get ya fired.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Her laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

She stilled beneath me, her giggles fading, and hazelnut eyes lined with long lashes blinked up at me softly, “Make me.”

My gaze lingered on her. She was so beautiful when she was completely stripped down like she was then. Her features were so soft and feminine, gentle slopes for cheekbones adorned with deep valley dimples and a button nose. If she wore less glittery makeup and didn’t want to dye her hair pink, she could easily be a Victoria’s Secret model.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I voiced my thoughts.

She blushed and waved me away, “Oh shut up.” She giggled.

“Make me.” I turned the command back on her like some sort of power game.

She took the bait, taking my face in her delicate hands, seemingly analyzing my face the way I did hers. She drew her thumb across my cheekbone before pulling me down into a kiss. The more I kissed her, the less guilty I felt. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever not have some inexplicable guilt looming in the background.

Her fingers tangled into my wavy locks that were in desperate need of a trim and took the initiative of swiping her tongue across my bottom lip for entrance. My fingertips grazed under her thighs bringing them around my hips as our tongues danced together. She locked her legs around me pulling me against her core which I forgot was still only covered with lacy panties. I pulled from her lips and dropped my head into the curve of her neck to let out a low groan from the friction against my hardening cock. My hands trailed up under the borrowed shirt along her sides and he whined softly, “Aus.”

I drew away to look at her when she covered her face with her arm shyly, a stark contrast to her usually confident sex appeal. “Hey,” I said softly, trailing my fingers up her sides, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

She moved her wrist to cover her forehead, blush feathered across her cheeks. “Yeah… I don’t know, I don’t think I’m high yet.”

“Oh, um,” I pulled my lip between my teeth, “Well we can stop if you want or I don’t really…”

“No no, it’s okay.” Her smile pulled a little too tight, “It’s okay, we can keep going.”

Something about this scene gave a sort of, déjà vu moment. It reminded me of that New Year’s Eve night with Elsie, where she didn’t want me to take off her dress but told me to anyway, if that’s what I wanted. But this was a side of Aspen I’d never seen, she was never shy with sex or with her body for that matter. “Did I do something wrong? I really didn’t mean to upset you.” My hand found her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, no you didn’t. I just – I don’t know, it’s hard for me to um,” She cleared her throat, “Sex is hard for me when I’m sober. I just,” She pressed her lips together and diverted her eyes, “It’s- actually, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.” Waving away the topic, her grin wide but her eyes dim.

“No, no because it’s obviously a big deal ‘Pen, what’s wrong?”

She propped herself up on her elbows, blonde strands cascading down her shoulder, “It’s really not a big deal we can just continue, it’s fine.” Her tone light and rather dismissive.

“’Pen there’s obviously something wrong I’m not just gonna keep going if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me, okay?” I brought my hand to her face and gently placing a knuckle beneath her chin. “I wanna know so I can be more careful.”

Aspen exhaled deeply, “The guys at work can sometimes be… forceful.” Her eyes trailed off, focusing on the wall behind me. “And some of them don’t like the word no.” She stated quietly before reaching my eyes again, “It can be kind of triggering? I guess? To do stuff when I’m sober. Being high really helps with that.”

It took me longer than it should’ve for me to really understand what she was saying. It made me so sad for her. Since I was always Elsie’s plus-one to parties, clubs or bars, I’d seen my fair share of inappropriate bullshit from random men. They’d cross boundaries with her, even right in front of me, even when most people would just assume that I was her boyfriend. Of course a literal strip club would be worse, I just never thought of it that way. She never complained about work or any of her clients. I felt like an asshole for it not even crossing my mind. “Oh my god Aspen,” I felt myself involuntarily loosen my grip on her thigh, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that I just I didn’t I don’t-”

She giggled, “Sh sh.” Placing a finger on my rambling lips, “It’s not you, you never make me feel like that.” She said quietly, “It’s okay,” Moving her hand from my lips to cup my cheek, “I feel safe with you.” Her eyes soft and genuine. “I will let you know if I’m having a bad time, okay?”

I nodded, suppressing the urge to ask her once again if she was sure, “Okay, sounds good.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. “I would never do anything like that to you. I promise. Never ever.”

She folded her top lip over her bottom, “I know. I believe you.” Then dragged her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’ve got such a beautiful soul, you know that?” Her voice was so quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear her. “You’re really beautiful on the outside too.”

Her words took me by surprise, it’s not every day that a guy gets a compliment like that. I’d never had anyone tell me they think I’m beautiful, nonetheless my fucking soul? There was a small, unexpected flutter in my stomach. “Well, thank you.” I replied softly, pressing my lips to hers, “You-” I began but she cut me off with a deeper kiss.

I pulled away again to return the compliment, but she promptly placed two fingers against my lips before I could speak, “You don’t need to say anything back.” Her chestnut brown eyes locked with mine and her voice stern beneath a slight tremble. “When I say things to you, it’s because I mean them – not because I hope you’ll say them back.”

Her words loomed a heaviness that my increasing high couldn’t begin to comprehend. As soon as I nodded, she reeled me back into the kiss, deepening it almost immediately. She wrapped her legs around my hips and drew me down against her core. She disconnected from the kiss, “Please fuck me.”

“You’re gonna drive me insane.” I muttered under my breath before dropping my head in her neck, leaving sloppy kisses behind. I tugged her skin into my mouth with a suck as I began rutting my hips against her heat. She let out small moans every time my cock would roll up against her clit. She dug her nails into my back, “Fuck, Austin, I need you to fuck me.” She mewled.

I continued leaving messy kisses on her neck, focusing one on her sweet spot just below her ear, “I want you to beg for it.” I muttered against her neck and dug my nails into her hips.

“Austin please, please.” She whined, “Fuck, I need your cock so fucking bad.”

My cock twitched at her words, it was almost painful how hard I was. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled back from her enough to slip my shorts off, letting my cock spring free. Aspen’s eyes tracked my member as she trailed her hand down and slipped beneath her panties, beginning to rub her clit.

The sight of her was driving me crazy. I precariously pushed her panties to the side and slid my tip up through her deliciously wet folds before gradually dipping into her entrance. The minute she felt me inside her, she let out a loud gasp. I slid into her slowly, inch by inch, just to torture her. I let out a groan once I felt myself reach the deepest part of her, “God, you’re so fucking tight.”

The hand that wasn’t working on her clit pushed open the button down she’d borrowed from me, revealing her lace covered breasts. She began kneading her right tit and playing with her hardened nipple over the sheer noir lace.

Control was slipping through my fingers already and it was reflected in my speed. “Fuck.” I muttered, as I propped up her thighs with my hands, using them as an anchor to keep her in place as I slammed in and out of her. Moans and curses poured from her lips the faster I went and the quicker she worked on her clit. “You feel so fucking good.” I groaned, squeezing her thigh and fucked her faster.

“Yeah?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I like being a cock slut for you.”

In all the time we’d been well, fucking, we’d used words like that plenty before but in light of the information she’d just given me, it made me feel almost guilty for using them. “You do?” The question came out significantly more transparent than intended.

She brought her free hand to my own that was holding up her leg, “I do.” She replied softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “I like it. You know that.” And gave a small giggle reassuring me that it was the truth.

“In that case,” I bent down to continue my work on her neck, trailing short sucking kisses up to her ear. “You like being my little cock slut huh?” I whispered and smirked when I could audibly hear her enjoy the words.

“Yours?” She squeaked quietly.

Thoughtlessly I replied, “Mine.”    

Her breathing accelerated, “Aus I’m close.” She whined, wrapping her fist in the excess sheets.

Her moans got louder as I continued to ram into her, “C’mon baby, I want you to fucking cum all over my cock.” I hummed against her neck, but I could feel her still teetering on her own ledge. I gripped her legs tight, “Be a good girl and cum for me, will you?”

It didn’t take much after that for her to reach her finish line, her back arching away from the bed sharply, “Fuck! Austin!”

I pulled myself back upright, tightening my grip on her thighs and drilled into her as she was still riding her high. The knot in my stomach was already threatening to unravel but when her walls began to contract around me, I knew I was dangerously close, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” It felt like I was dangling from a string that was about to snap, “Fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum on me,” She answered quickly, brushing her hair off her chest, “Please cum on me?”

“Fuck,” I slammed into her trying to hold out for as long as possible but abruptly pulled out when I felt myself about to cum, “Fuck!” I groaned, pumping my cock until ribbons of cum coated chest and stomach. I rode out my high, leaving her completely covered. “Fuck.” I breathed out, using the back of my clean hand to wipe off sweat from my forehead. “You look so fucking good covered in my cum.”

“Yeah?” She giggled, dragging a finger dangerously close to one of the patches.

“Don’t.” I warned her, with a propped brow.

She slid her finger through the puddle, then plopped it in her mouth. “Mmm.” She teased, “You should fill my mouth instead next time.”

My jaw nearly fell, “Cut that shit out or I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”

She bit down on her thumbnail with a mischievous smile, “Would that be so bad?”

-weeks later-

Aspen and I walked hazily through Manhattan, my arm slung over her shoulders, our steps synced up. It was a rare morning where we weren’t high, just remnants of weed in our system. She had all but moved into my apartment from how often she stayed over. We were on one fuck of a roll. It was so refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t hound you about your choices, someone who made those choices with you.

The blonde leaned into me as she walked, “I’ve been having so much fun with you Aus.”

‘Aus’

No matter how much fun we had, I still hated it coming out her mouth.

“Me too ‘Pen.” My arm curled her closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”

It was the truth; I hadn’t felt happy in so long, nonetheless have fun. Probably the last time I let myself have fun was Thanksgiving with Elsie. And even then, it was so tense. But Aspen made it so easy, I didn’t have to hide shit from her or tip toe around anything. It wasn’t complicated or painful, it was just fun.

“Guess we’re just meant for each other then.” She joked, nudging into me. We were on such a high that I didn’t wanna risk having to break her heart. I liked her sure, but I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I liked the casual dynamic we had.

“You haven’t talked about Elsie in a while?” She stated innocently.

I let out a sigh, “Yeah I know – I haven’t spoken to her since…everything.”

She hummed, nodding, “There’s something special about her isn’t there?” Her voice was casual, not happy, sad or jealous.

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes, “I told you we’re just friends.”

“You don’t gotta put on a show for me Austin, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.” Not a single trace of anger in her tone. “Hell, I can see it even when I just mention her name.”

I took a moment to gather my answer. I had gone over me and Elsie’s relationship a million times in my head, but each time it was like an ever-growing equation. The more I tried to solve it the less it made sense. “It doesn’t matter,” I stated plainly, keeping my eyes focused on some skyscraper in front of us. “She doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Sure she does. I can see that too.”

“What are you, some all-seeing oracle?” Shaking my head, “No you just don’t understand, there’s nothin’ there.”

“Austin, if there’s anything I know, it’s girls.” She let out a giggle, “And there’s definitely something there.”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It doesn’t matter, we’re – doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking.” She clarified with a playful grin.

I laughed nudging back into her, “No, I really like my time with you. It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Her tone dropped slightly, “I’m just a lesson girl.” Her eyes fell down to the pavement.

“Huh?” Looking down at her.

“You know,” She shrugged, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. “I’m always that girl. The girl you have fun with but not the girl you settle down with. I’m just a lesson; a bridge to that bring-home-to-mom girl.”

The words took me by surprise, and they made me sad for her.

Maybe I could be that for her. Maybe I wanted to be that? The one that doesn’t use her as a lesson.

Or maybe I just felt guilty, seeing as I too planned on being a temporary fix. This all started as a fucked-up game of blackmail after all.

My hand trailed down her arm and tangled our fingers together. I gave her a nudge, “You’re way more than a lesson ‘Pen.” Her girl-next-door brown eyes flickered up at me, “Not to me you aren’t.” She offered a sweet smile, looking like no one ever really gave her the chance to be more than a fuck buddy.

Once back at my loft it took no time for us to go another round. We flipped over on the couch with her propped up on top of me. She bounced on my cock sending a buzzing flare across my skin.

“Fuck.” I groaned, gripping onto her hips, helping to guide her rolling motions.

Small whimpers escaped her each time the head of my member embedded into the deepest part of her core. Her full tits bounced as she rode me, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around her midsection to keep her place as I rolled my hips up into her, reaching new depths with the angular position.

“Austin!” She cried out, taking my control and took over the riding, this time even more frantic and messy.

The heightened sensation from the weed and whatever else she gave me earlier kicked in driving me dangerously close. “Fuck - you’re gonna make me cum if you don’t slow down.” I grunted through labored breath.

She nodded and fell onto me, her face and whimpers in my neck. “I want your cum baby, cum inside me please.” She begged, her hand working quickly on her clit chasing her own orgasm. From her rapid breathing it seemed she was close too.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I moaned out, stealing control once more with my arms keeping her in place as I hammered into her in such a heated primal manner, for a brief moment I thought I might split her in two. Her moans and speed on herself matched my own, “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I grunted, my thrusts into her sloppy and desperate.

As I reached my climax it seemed she did too, now taking over and fucking herself on my twitching cock as it spilled seed into her. Somewhere weaved amongst our curses and moans she uttered words I didn’t expect.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened immediately, and I expected her to stop but she kept going, riding out our highs together. She rode me until I had nothing left to give her. Until she finally fell on the couch next me, breathless.

“God that never gets old,” She exhaled then glanced over me with hooded hazel eyes. “Your dick is too good.”  She joked.

I forced a smile in an attempt to act normal, “You ride me too good.” My own chest rising and falling rapidly.

She used the back of her hand to wipe off a layer of sweat from her forehead. “Dickmatized.” She chuckled.

She was pretending nothing happened. Maybe it was just the “dickmatization” – whatever the fuck that means - or the drugs that made her say what she said. Hopefully that was the case.

The words scared the shit out of me.

She stretched over behind us to pluck a half smoked blunt from and ash tray, promptly lighting the end causing a burning crackle. As she put her lips and inhaled it sizzled red at the end. Her back landed next to me again, exhaling a thick puff cloud of smoke above us.

I plucked the brown roll from her fingertips and mimicked her actions. As the puff cloud seeped from my lungs, my eyes followed the swirls of smoke. Aspen’s mention of Elsie from earlier rang like church bells in my head. God, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, our jokes. Even when I was high, I’d want to bring up our inside jokes, jokes that Aspen would never understand. As fucked up as it was, I wish it was Elsie here doing this with me. She stopped smoking with me after my breakdowns and she’d never do the things Aspen and I do. Not that I’d want her to – well, I guess in a selfish way I did. But I’d never let her.

It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t want from Elsie, I ruined everything. She wouldn’t take my calls and I didn’t blame her. Once I get my shit together, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll get sober and I won’t have to hide it from her anymore, I wouldn’t have to stay away anymore. We could go back to normal. I just needed to get this out of my system, like a last hurrah. This would be it. Forever. I’ll get sober and I’ll never touch anything ever again. But right now, I had it under control, and I was just having fun.

“Hey you okay?” The blonde nudged me obviously picking up on my dissociation.

“Yeah, yeah,” I snapped out of it, sitting up a bit. “Just uh- I think I’m coming down, we got anything over there?”

She stretched back over to the side table, holding her tongue between her lips while she focused. I heard a rattle of a bottle and just the noise relieved whatever internal struggle raged inside me. “A client gave me these, but I didn’t like them.” She shrugged, handing me the orange prescription container, “They made me sick, but you might like ‘em.”

I swiped the pad of my thumb across the label, “Thomas George” letting out a chuckle, “What kinda name is Thomas George?” I squinted reading the smaller print to see what exactly she handed me. “Oxycodone.” I read quietly exhaling when I realized what I was holding. “I’ve never tried these.” Looking up at her.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that shit’s strong,” She slumped next to me, “But I think we only have coke left.”

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear, so far I liked coke, but I liked pills so much better. “Fuck.” I held the bottle up to my eyeline and shook the pills, the bottle half full.

How different could it be from anything else I’ve taken? It couldn’t be that different, right?

I nodded, “Okay, I’ll be fine right?”

She grinned, tucking a strand of pink behind her ear, “I mean, if it feels good, it can’t be bad right?”

Aspen wasn’t like me – not fully at least. She did drugs for fun, she had an inclination for some and really got stuck on others. But she had some way of not getting fully addicted to anything. I didn’t know how she did it, but it was hard to keep up with her.

But I had kept up so far and I didn’t want her to catch on that I might not have the same talent her. I couldn’t have her be another Elsie, especially after what she just said to me moments ago. I could handle myself, I had it under control, and I didn’t need someone monitoring me. And I didn’t want to end my fun with Aspen prematurely.

“You sure?” I propped a brow up at her.

She shrugged, “It’s up to you babe. I won’t be able to see him for at least a week.”

Just the mention of him, even without his name boiled my blood. I furrowed my brows at her, “Wait why not?”

“O-Oh,” She faltered like I just caught her in some secret, “Um, he’s on a business trip!” Her annunciation peaking up indicating there was something she was hiding.

“I know you’re lying, what is it?”

“I-I well u-um-“ She stuttered.

“Spit it out Aspen!” My voice louder and harsher than I intended, the Xanax comedown was beginning to hit me.

She flinched, “Um, they went on vacation.”

My brows lowered and I felt my pulse rising, “Vacation?”

“Um, yeah it’s uh-“ She looked down playing with her thumbs, “It’s their one year.”

I clenched my jaw, “And where did they go?”

“Uh- I think they went to Cabo?” She winced pulling back from me.

“Cabo!” My voice booming throughout the loft, and I could feel a vein pulse in my forehead.

She shuddered, “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew it’d upset you.”

Letting out a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry ‘Pen.” Softening my tone, “I didn’t mean to yell like that. I’m coming down, okay?”

“It’s okay. I understand, I get like that too.” She kept her eyes down, playing with a stray thread on a pillow.

“Hey,” I picked her chin up to catch her eyes, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care about Cabo, I’m just pissed we have to wait for him to get back.” Lying straight through my teeth.

She relaxed her tensed body, “I can try to get something from the girls at work?”

“I’d really appreciate that.” The panic of our low stock and the vision of them on vacation began to overtake my mind. I needed to get it the fuck out. “You got water over there?” I winced at the thumping sound of my new upstairs neighbors, only worsening the pounding in my head.

She nodded and reached over, holding a cold glass of water for me. “Thanks.” Cranking the cap off the bottle with one hand and dropping a white pill in the palm of my hand. I tossed the pill back, taking the cup and swallowing it down with water.

“Now, how can I make it up to you?” I stretched behind us to place the glass down on the wooden side table.

The edges of her mouth curled into a soft smile, “Well we could-”

“Oh my god! What do they have a fucking elephant up there?” Pressing fingers into my pounding temple.

Aspen’s brows furrowed, “What?”

“The neighbors upstairs, it sounds like they’re playing Just Dance with cinderblocks for shoes.” I groaned spreading my digits across my eyebrows trying to ease the ache behind them.

She let out a small chuckle, “Babe I don’t think they’re even home.”

I rolled my eyes, “Are you serious? You haven’t heard them banging around and yelling for the past week?”

“No?” She laughed and nudged me, “I think you’re hearing things silly – or maybe you got...” She wiggled her fingers ominously, “ghosts ooooh.”

I curled my eyebrows together at her words thinking over the past week. “Yeah… maybe. I think I just have a bad migraine right now.” Shaking my head, thinking how the fuck she couldn’t hear the loud bustle from above. “How about we play some music?”

Aspen pulled herself up, “You have a migraine but you wanna play music?” She giggled, “You’re being so weird today.”

I stifled the kneejerk reaction to glare at her but just reached between us digging out my phone from the couch cushions. As soon as she saw me open Spotify and connect to my Alexa, she leaped over me. “Play something fun!” Tugging at my arm like a toddler, “We can dance!”

I knew if I didn’t give in to her, she wouldn’t drop it. I groaned like an annoyed boyfriend being dragged onto a dancefloor – which I guess, that’s exactly what it was. I begrudgingly peeled myself from the couch, mindlessly hit shuffle and dropped my phone on the couch cushion. The music lagged a bit before I finally met Aspen in the middle of my carpeted living room. She was clearly riding on her own high by the way she was bouncing around before the music even began.

An eerie calm began to wash through my veins and slow my brain. As the calming high from the pill ebbed in, I hadn’t even realized what song started playing until Aspen excitingly exclaimed, “I love Elvis!”

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach as the intro of Suspicious Minds creeped through the speaker. The nostalgic lyrics flashed memories of me and Elsie in my old dorm. Our impromptu performances were some of my favorite memories – they were innocent, careless, full of a forgotten hope that had long slipped from my fingers.

I could barely remember my life before Elsie, and I never thought there would be a life after her. I guess I always just assumed we’d always have each other. I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t have her in my life or where we weren’t “Austin and Elsie” - nonetheless because of me. It wasn’t until that moment that the reality set in, that she may not forgive me. I wanted to believe that we could make it through anything, but this was uncharted territory. 

Seeing Aspen spin in Elsie’s place felt like a cheap replacement, like a knockoff designer bag or a low-quality pirated movie. The truth was that I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. 

Thankfully, the new drug seeping into my system began to numb my racing thoughts. The foreign feeling of it surprised me, it was reminiscent of Xanax but better - which I didn’t think was possible. If Xanax was a fluffy cloud, Percocet was an endless sea of silky fluff. The aching remorse faded into the background and the room seemed lighter than before. Aspen took my hand in an effort to get me to dance with her and for a split second I could’ve sworn it was Elsie. The initial excitement of the error didn’t disappear though and the music helped soothe the turbulence in my brain. 

If this was the bed I chose to make, maybe one constructed from sugary marshmallow fluff wouldn’t be so bad. 

Next Chapter -> 30 - It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

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sorry this took so long - highkey this chp was so difficult for me to edit/finish for some reason, so, sorry if it’s not the best :/

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