#pioneer���s pizza

[thornyrose463]

National food tag game 

I decided to create a tag game. 

Rules: Say which country you’re from. Make a list of foods from your country that you think everyone should try. Write a description of each food. Tag as many people as you like. 

I’m from Canada. Here’s my list of foods from my country that I think everyone should try. The pictures are not mine. I found them on Google. All credit goes to the rightful owners. 

Poutine

Poutine is a dish consisting of French fries, gravy, and cheese curds. It emerged in the Canadian province of Québec in the late 1950’s, though its exact origins are uncertain and there are several competing claims regarding its invention. 

Donair

The donair originated in Halifax (the capital city of Nova Scotia, the Canadian province I’m from) in the early 1970’s. Donair meat is made from spiced ground beef sliced off a rotating cone. The toppings typically include chopped onions and tomatoes, while the distinctive sweet sauce is made from condensed milk, sugar, vinegar, and garlic powder (optional). All of these ingredients are wrapped together in a soft white pita.

Garlic fingers

Garlic fingers are an Atlantic Canadian dish, similar to a pizza in shape and size and made with the same type of dough. Instead of being cut in triangular slices, they are presented in thin strips, or "fingers". They are often accompanied by pizza and dipped in donair sauce. 

Lobster roll 

The lobster roll is a dish native to New England and Atlantic Canada. It can be served hot or cold. It is typically made with lobster knuckle, claw, and tail meat. The meat is served on a grilled hot dog bun. The filling may contain butter, lemon juice, salt, and pepper, with some versions replacing the butter with mayonnaise. Other versions may contain diced celery or scallion. Coleslaw and French fries are the typical side dishes.

Hodge Podge

Hodge Podge is a stew consisting of milk, cream, butter, and green and root vegetables. It’s essentially a vegetarian chowder, but it occasionally has meat in it. The version of Hodge Podge that I like consists of milk, cream, butter, potatoes, green beans, and carrots. 

Maple syrup

Maple syrup is a syrup made from the sap of maple trees. In cold climates, these trees store starch in their trunks and roots before winter. The starch is then converted to sugar that rises in the sap in late winter and early spring. Maple trees are tapped by drilling holes into their trunks and collecting the sap, which is processed by heating to evaporate much of the water, leaving the concentrated syrup.

Nanaimo bars

Nanaimo bars require no baking. They have three layers: a graham cracker crust with shredded coconut and cocoa powder, a sweet custard filling, and a chocolate coating. They have been a mainstay across Canada since the 1950’s. They were first made in the waterfront city of Nanaimo in British Columbia. They became even more popular in the late 1980’s after being featured at Expo ‘86, the World’s Fair in British Columbia. 

Butter tarts

A butter tart is a flaky pastry with a filling consisting of sugar, egg, corn syrup or maple syrup, and butter. It’s baked and has a crunchy top. Common add-ins are pecans, raisins, and shredded coconut. 

Butter tarts were common in Canadian pioneer cooking. The earliest published recipe for a butter tart is from Barrie, Ontario. It dates back to 1900 in the Women’s Auxiliary of the Royal Victoria Hospital Cookbook. Another early published recipe was found in a 1915 pie cookbook.

BeaverTails

BeaverTails is a Canadian restaurant chain, specializing in pastries known as BeaverTails, that is operated by BeaverTails Canada Inc. Its namesake product are fried dough pastries that resemble beaver tails. They are topped with sweet condiments and confections, such as whipped cream, banana slices, crumbled Oreos, cinnamon sugar, and chocolate hazelnut. They are also made in savoury variations, such as poutine and hot dogs. 

The chain originated in Killaloe, Ontario in 1978 and opened its first permanent store in Ottawa two years later. By 2018, it had 140 franchise locations in six countries: Canada (the Maritimes, Newfoundland and Labrador, Ontario, Manitoba, Alberta, British Columbia and Québec, where the franchise is called Queues de Castor), the United States (New Hampshire, Michigan, Wisconsin, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Utah), the United Arab Emirates, Mexico, France, and Japan.

Ketchup chips

French fries and ketchup have gone hand-in-hand since the early 1800’s, but the combination really took off in the 1940’s with the rise of fast food and drive-ins. 

Inspired by this classic combo, adding ketchup-flavoured seasoning to potato chips came to be sometime in the 1970’s. Each chip was dusted with tomato powder, garlic, onion, and spices, infusing smoky, salty, and sweet flavours with a tart bite into every crunch. Since then, millions of chip bags have been torn open and devoured by hungry Canadians. 

Although a quintessential Canadian snack, the origins of ketchup chips are mired in mystery, with no one stepping forward to officially take the credit. At its simplest, it’s believed that this snack was invented by Hostess Potato Chips in the early 1970’s and sold exclusively to the Canadian market.

Digging deeper, it appears that the story could be more complicated. An American company in Pennsylvania, Herr’s Snacks, has reportedly been making ketchup-flavoured potato chips since the early 1980’s. A decade later, the Heinz Ketchup company got on board. They’ve since blended the brands to create Herr’s Heinz Ketchup Flavoured Potato Chips.

The bottom line? Although ketchup chips likely hold dual citizenship, it’s definitely a Canadian classic to the core. While the flavour tends to be scarce south of the border, it can be found in almost every Canadian grocery store. Millions of bags are produced each year by Frito-Lay, the parent company of Hostess. They are also sold by smaller Canadian-owned companies like Covered Bridge.

All-dressed chips 

All-dressed is a popular potato chip flavour in Canada. It's a combination of four other flavours: Ketchup, Barbecue, Sour Cream & Onion, and Salt & Vinnegar. 

While the consensus is that the flavour originated in Canada, it is unknown who introduced it first. Yum Yum, a Quebec-based company, is known to have created a variety of the flavour in 1978. The term "all-dressed" and its French equivalent toute garnie originally applied to pizza, meaning "everything on it", “deluxe”, or "the works". The term "all-dressed" extended beyond just pizza and found its way into the world of potato chips. Many early references to the flavour all-dressed are linked to pizza-flavoured potato chips. 

An all-dressed chip called The Whole Shabang is produced by American prison supplier Keefe Group. It became available to the general public in 2016. Frito-Lay began selling all-dressed Ruffles potato chips that same year. In 2024, Co-op Food in the United Kingdom began selling a limited edition all-dressed variety crisp as part of their Irresistible range.

Tagging: 

@gnarly-love

@miyagifangkai2

@freehaydenradio

@fireladybuckley

@fakesocialmediaa

[lacuna-lunax]

02/12/24

uhhh merry whatever I guess, 'tis the freakin' season.

Monday 2nd 799

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Relentless Raspberry Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Tomato & Basil Pasta Ready Meal For 1 354

Fulfil Peanut Butter Chocolate Flavour Vitamin & Protein Bar

Terry's Chocolate Orange Minis

Tuesday 3rd 666

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Stamford Street Co. Macaroni Cheese Ready Meal For 1 487

Barebells Raspberry Cream Protein Bar

Milkybar Giant Buttons Raspberry Ripple

Wednesday 4th 736

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Stamford Street Co. Cheese & Tomato Pasta 417

FULFIL Chocolate Salted Caramel Vitamin & Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Orange Chocolate Giant Buttons

Thursday 5th 714

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Relentless Raspberry Zero Sugar

VFC Chickn Fried Rice One Bag 439

Cadbury Dairy Milk Orange Chocolate Giant Buttons

Munchies Milk Chocolate & Caramel

Friday 6th 703

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

VFC Chicken Curry One Bag 450

Misfits Cookie Butter Flavour Plant Based Protein Bar

Cadbury Crunchie Rocks

Saturday 7th  734 – 2 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Vegetable Tikka Curry with Rice Ready Meal For 1 443

Lindahls Kvarg Stracciatella with Chocolate Pieces Protein Yogurt 150g

Lindahls Strawberry Sundae Pro + Kvarg 150g

Ritter Sport Nut Selection Pistachio, Limited Edition

Sunday 8th 790 - 8 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Plant Pioneers Vegan Meat Free Lasagne 363

Hartley's Lemon and Lime Jelly Pot

Lindahls Pro Kvarg Lemon Cheesecake Protein Yogurt 150g

Cadbury Dairy Milk Wholenut

Monday 9th 799

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Relentless Raspberry Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Tomato & Basil Pasta Ready Meal For 1 354

Barebells Caramel Choco Soft Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Caramel Nibbles

Tuesday 10th 688

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Spinach Ricotta Cannelloni, Taste the Difference Ready Meal For 1 465

Fulfil White Chocolate Cookies & Cream Flavour Vitamin Protein Bar

Aero Melts Milk Chocolate

Wednesday 11th 703

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

VFC Chicken Curry One Bag 450

Barebells Coco Choco Soft Protein Bar

M&M’s Salted Caramel

Thursday 12th 714; 525

Coffe

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Relentless Raspberry Zero Sugar

VFC Chickn Fried Rice One Bag 439

Battle Bites Dynabar High Protein Bar Chocolate Hazelnut Flavour

Aero Bubbles Peppermint Mint Chocolate

Dunkin' Jelly Donut-Flavored Filled Chocolates 210

Friday 13th 607; 555

Coffee

Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Strawberry & Yogurt Crunch

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Chicago Town Sub Cheese & Tomato Pizzas 546

Hartley's No Added Sugar Orange Jelly Pot

Lindahls Pro+ Kvarg Blueberry Muffin Protein Yogurt

Milkybar White Chocolate Giant Buttons

Twix Caramel & Milk Chocolate Fingers Biscuit Snack Bar 246

Saturday 14th 734 - 2 Fizz (+10); 600

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Vegetable Tikka Curry with Rice Ready Meal For 1 443

Jutrzenka Be-be Biscuits

Kellogg's Rice Krispies Squares Marshmallow

Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate Fruit & Nut

M&S Food Victoria Sandwich 284

Sunday 15th 724 - 2 Fizz; 585-600

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Relentless Watermelon Zero Sugar

Young's Salmon Pie 430

Hartley's No Added Sugar Raspberry Jelly Pot 115g

Sainsbury's Double Chocolate Brownie

Wedel Milk Chocolate with Raspberry Filling

M&S Moist Carrot Cake Slice 274

[funny-arcade-lizord]

About

Fun-World Pizza & Pub was a rinky dink pub owned by Frankie Paraki back in the 80's. Frankie was an ambitious inventor better known now for being the pioneer of games, as he was the maker Fun-Time Blast. A game that only his place had, until later both were bought up by Warren Vitur after Frankie's Freak Accident. And I, Willow plan to find out what actually happened- I find the whole thing odd...

Rules

Don't steal our hard work! (Especially for Ai >:V )

Respect the Cast! (And creator, I am human like you.)

Ask questions! BUT- don't be shocked if you have to hunt for answers!

Do not the lizord.

Quick Q&A

Q: Why are you talking in 3rd person or as "Willow" A: Because she is the protag, and being me is overrated!

Q: Where can I find more? A: Toyhouse & Youtube

Q: What is your inspiration? A: Welcome Home, Fnaf, 90's/2000's nostolgia.

Q: Can I send an ask? A: Sure! (Make sure to address to whom!)

Q: When? A: When I feel like it-

Socials Toyhouse Discord Server

[tingobarbara]

Preserving the Flow: A Water Conservation Crusade

Definitions:

Story: a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader.

Tales: is a comparatively simple narrative, either fictitious or true, written or recounted orally in prose or in verse.

Science fiction: is a fictionalized story wherein the setting and plot are centered around technology, time travel, outer space, or scientific principles, with or without the presence of aliens. 

“Save Earth's Waters"

In a world threatened by water waste and scarcity, an unlikely team of heroes emerged. Comprising singer, the iconic Paulo Londra, my parents, close friends, and myself, we embarked on a unique journey aboard a cutting edge time traveling airplane. Our mission was present innovative solutions to the global water crisis. As our plane took off, we found ourselves in a time when water was revered as life's elixir. Our first stop was ancient Mesopotamia, where we admired ingenious techniques that harnessed the Tigris and Euphrates for agricultural abundance. We knew we had to learn from this ancient wisdom.

In 2050, we witnessed a world struggling with water mismanagement. Nonetheless, Paulo Londra introduced us to a café where we enjoyed pizzas and tacos, a moment of culinary camaraderie that unified our spirits. Then, after we were already Reenergized, we unveiled state of the art solutions, from rainwater harvesting to smart metering. Paulo Londra’s with a chocolate bar in hand, serenaded us with his soul stirring melodies, obviously,inspired the masses to embrace these transformative changes.

In 2075, we face a world besieged by water pollution. While, we finding our inner peace, we delved into yoga, introduced pioneering filtration and purification techniques, revitalizing polluted water sources. Communities enthusiastically adopted these methods, erasing the scars of pollution.

In 2100, we entered a world on the precipice of international water conflicts. As a result, our knowledge of diplomacy from kindergarten games and international relations classes guided us as we mediated peace talks and brokered international agreements to ensure equitable water distribution.

Our final destination was 2150, where sustainable practices had become the norm. Inspired by conservation principles, we embarked on a wildlife safari to observe pristine ecosystems. Above all, we marveled at self-sufficient cities efficiently managing water resources through advanced solutions. Such as, decentralized desalination and nanotechnology-based water purification. Borrowing these ideas from the future, we returned to our own time, armed with knowledge that could reshape the world.

Back in our present, we arrived with wisdom and solutions to confront the impending water crisis. Moreover, our mission had an immediate impact as communities worldwide embraced responsible water management and adopted the innovations we had presented.

Our time traveling odyssey had been a resounding success. By the way, Paulo Londra's harmonious tunes, combined with the collective efforts of our team, driven by the wisdom of the past and the innovations of the future, had set the course for a more sustainable world. As a result, The Aquatic Avengers, as we came to be known, left an indelible mark on history, ensuring that water would be treasured, safeguarded, and cherished for generations to come.

References:

Definition of «Tale». (s. f.). https://www2.hawaii.edu/~davink/MYTHOLOGY%20CLASS/DEFINITIONS/tale.html#:~:text=Tale%20(defined)&text=A%20tale%20is%20a%20comparatively,%2C%20marvelous%2C%20or%20even%20supernatural.

Research guides: Children’s Literature: Science Fiction. (s. f.). https://libguides.uttyler.edu/c.php?g=357600&p=2542706#:~:text=Definition,and%20explained%20by%20scientific%20means.

Story Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com. (2020). En Dictionary.com. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/story

To create this image I used the artificial intelligence provided by the website Canva, typing the prompt: "Group of people traveling in time by means of an airplane".

[fishfraud]

A contribution to the over-under debate

The debate is almost as old as time- over or under? Not, of course, that anyone would confess to belonging to the latter camp, the position being almost universally reviled, certainly moreso then even the slight defense of pineapple on pizza by despicable degenerates and liberal-minded individuals convinced that as long as they don't have to eat it, the toppings of another's pizza are inconsequential. No, the over under debate is not a fair fight, but more of a beatdown of a defenseless strawman. But progress marches on, and soon even the Over school will be entirely obsolete.

Progress now demands a new, modern method of placing toilet paper. After all, when the toilet paper holder was patented, could the founding fathers of the shithouse have foreseen the girthy rolls now available? Could the immediate descendants of the brave pioneers accustomed to wiping their ass with corncobs and the bits of the sears-roebuck catalog that didn't have the underwear models, could they have appreciated the exquisite and mathematical madness of 17.5 rolls of toilet paper crammed into only 6 rolls?

No, and neither could the 1970's designers of my apartment, who furnished toilet paper holders sadly inadequate to the task of holding the new products of a new and revolutionary age. The massive rolls that wipe the ass of progress must be accommodated. Consider this Ex cathedra-

[regrettablewritings]

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

[victorl0]

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[wwasnorkel]

Things to do in Lahaina, Maui

Looking for things to do in Lahaina, Maui? “The west side is the best side”, that’s what we say here in historic Lahaina Town! Shopping, food, activities, the list goes on!

We created a go-to guide so can make your most out of your vacation to Lahaina!

Originally the capital of Hawaii from 1820-1845, historic Lahaina town was once a pit stop for whalers and now sees an estimated 80% of all tourism that comes to Maui! Lahaina’s iconic Front Street runs through the heart of Lahaina Town, connecting Lahaina Harbor, shops, restaurants and historical landmarks. Traveling to Maui is not your bargain vacation due to its desired tropical climate as a U.S. territory, but with AirBnB’s available at all time lows right now and lots of free outdoor activities you’ll find yourself easily content on this little island in the Pacific!

Lahaina is a small town with half the crime rate of Los Angeles and New York. You can walk or bike almost anywhere to shops, beaches, activities and dining, making it a go-to for Maui’s visitors!

Free Things to do in Lahaina

If you’re looking for free things to do in Lahaina, check out the Lahaina Walking Tour for a fun historical walk through along Front Street, which has been rated one of the Top 10 Greatest Streets by the American Planning Commission.

Across from the Wharf Center is the historic Banyan Tree. Planted over 100 years ago this tree is a gathering place for visitors, locals and arts and crafts fairs! If you walk toward the ocean you will find Lahaina Harbor, the busiest tourism harbor in the state!. You can check out the historic museum right under the banyan to learn more about this harbor that was once a pit-stop for whalers and sailors! The historic Pioneer Inn now houses dining and shops, as well as a photo ops with parrots and breakfast at the Inn itself. Art galleries, clothing stores and Hawaii inspired jewelry shops line this quaint little ocean front town!

Surfing is always free, you just need a board and some waves! Lahaina town fronts two popular surf spots, Breakwall and Harbor! Breakwall has a slower softer wave great for longboarding and Harbor’s quick steep drop in waves make it a great pick for shortboarders!

If you’re in Maui during Halloween, be ready for a festive night to remember! Front street hosts a Halloween bash that brings the whole island to it’s little town. Hundreds of amazing costumes, contests, live music and dining! Many restaurants along Front Street offer ocean view and oceanfront dining, here are some of our favorite places to eat in Lahaina!

Dining & Shopping

Starting at the south end of Front Street, you can walk past local shops and good eats. Paia fish market opened their Lahaina location a few years ago and specializes in fish burgers and more! Stop and check out Down the Hatch, one of our favorite places to eat fish, this bar and grill was even on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives! Down the Hatch also has live music at night and game nights! Best burgers in town can be found at Cool Cats Cafe across from the Pioneer Inn and a stop in Captain Jacks Restaurant for salads, fish and philly cheese steaks is a great option! Sunrise cafe is a quaint local breakfast cafe, nestled behind the corner ice cream shop!

At the north end of Front Street, Waikiki Brewing Co. and Tommy Bahamas Bar and Grill are new additions to our Lahaina Town Dining! Further down (maybe a drive more than a walk), behind Safeway shopping center, there is a trio of ocean front dining that are must trys!. Star Noodle, known for it’s asian fusion dishes offers outdoor dining and a contemporary setting! Honu has indoor and oceanfront outdoor dining, seafood dishes, gourmet pizza are their specialities. Mala Ocean Tavern, rated best oceanfront dining in 2019, offers a more elevated dining experience and just recently bought a delicious brunch to the table!

Do you have dietary restrictions and want a dining experience that caters to your needs? Lucky for us, Lahaina is home to a few delicious vegan restaurants! Moku Roots is our top choice, serving amazing vegan dishes made with local ingredients like coconut, kiawe flour, macadamia nuts and tons of fresh fruits and veggies. You won’t even know it’s vegan when you taste it, it’s just good, and grab a dessert on your way out! Choice Health Bar is another great veggie option, their veggie bowls, acai bowls, smoothes, soups and desserts are all made locally and with your health in mind!

Looking for dessert? Banyan Tree gelato and Lamperts Ice Cream (home of the Dole Fruit Whip) are your next stops on front street! Breakwall Shave Ice (located inside Down the Hatch Restaurant) even serves Hawaiian Shaved ice Adult Style (must be 21) and an assortment of other shaved ice desserts, acai bowls, ice coffees and smoothies!

Activities

Whale Watching in Lahaina

Whale watching is the top activity in Lahaina, Maui! Because the Maui Nui Basin is the choice spot for our humpback whale visitors, it became a protected sanctuary for whales in the 1990’s. You can whale watch from shore, your hotel or better yet, on a boat! You can find all styles of vessels to choose from! Large sailing vessels like Trilogy Excursions depart from the loading dock, while smaller rafting style boat like ours leave from Slip 17!

Snorkeling in Lahaina

You can snorkel from shore most anywhere in Lahaina! Mala Boat Ramp is our top spot to snorkel from shore in Lahaina, followed closely by Oluwalu Reef! Mala has an artificial reef made from the old boat harbor that sank into the ocean, creating an underwater home for everything from tropical fish, lots of green sea turtles, octopus and even reef sharks! Olowalu reef is one of Hawaii’s oldest and largest reefs, hosting unique pinnacle style reef structure, lots of marine life and the home to many manta rays! Snorkeling by boat is also a great adventure! Most snorkeling tours that depart from Lahaina Harbor will take you to the island of Lanai where the reef is in pristine condition, and we often see the resident spinner or bottlenose dolphins!

Fishing in Lahaina

If you’re wanting a fishing experience, best to pay for a charter where they can get you on the ones that are biting! Finest Kind and Die Hard are our top fishing company choice for Lahaina!

Luas in Lahaina

Luaus are back in action, with tasty local Hawaiian cuisine and traditional dance! Most luaus are located on a beach front location where you get to enjoy ocean views with a sit-down dinner and Hawaiian style entertainment. If you’re looking for Luaus located in Lahaina Town, Old Lahaina Luau is the go to spot! This luau is located right on front street and has an authentic styled venue with ocean front dining!

Whether you’re staying in Lahaina, or will make the short drive from Kaanapali or the day trip from Kihei or Wailea, it’s definitely worth the stop for some fun shopping, ocean activities and ono food!

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, November 30

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The palace lured Princess Diana into death trap 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Sienna Miller shooting Anatomy of a Scandal, former soap star Wanda De Jesus and longtime partner Jimmy Smits take a walk in Brentwood, Mama June Shannon gambles on plastic surgery 

Page 3: Billy Dee Williams may walk with a cane but he doesn’t let that stop him from taking the wheel in West Hollywood, Joey Fatone at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival, Ariel Winter lugs around a massive roll of bubble wrap in L.A. 

Page 4: Courageous Al Roker has battled health problems for years and now his new devastating prostate cancer diagnosis seals his rep as the unluckiest man on TV

* Patrick Duffy and Linda Purl are proof that love can be just as wonderful in your golden years and now pals predict their whirlwind romance will lead them to an elopement -- the former Dallas star was heartbroken after his wife of 43 years died of cancer in 2017 but Happy Days alum Linda brought joy back into his life -- the greying sweethearts plan to spend the holidays with both their families and then go house hunting for their own place

Page 5: Kanye West thinks he’s so smart and wonderful and creative he’s showering bucks on a project to make a posse of his own personal mini-mes and he sees his clones as his gift to the world claiming it’s his duty to keep himself on the planet at all costs long after he’s gone so death doesn’t have to be the end of Kanye -- Kanye’s wife Kim Kardashian has given Kanye permission to double down on himself -- he’s also fascinated by cryogenics and no one would be surprised if he arranges to have himself stored in a chamber when he dies so he can be revived years later 

Page 6: Britney Spears is having another family feud because she wants her dad Jamie Spears suspended immediately from his role as co-conservator of her estate claiming he installed a new business manager to run her $60 million fortune without consulting his daughter in what she brands a blatant attempt to get full functional control of her assets and books and records in the face of Britney’s objections

* Ryan Seacrest is turning into a bloated recluse as career and personal problems have worried pals thinking about an intervention -- he’s so devastated by his breakup with Shayna Taylor and the end of cash cow Keeping Up with the Kardashians that he’s shutting himself away for days on end and ignoring calls from friends and co-workers and only responding to texts and he’s stuffing his face with junk food and sloppy takeout and pizzas and he’s come close to belching on camera a few times 

Page 7: Devastated widow Paulina Porizkova who her bitter husband Ric Ocasek cut out of his will even though she took care of him in his final days suffered a shocking collapse -- she had gone to Costa Rica with her sons for a change of scenery following the death of Ric who was divorcing her -- she says she had a total nervous breakdown in the airport and they had to put her in a wheelchair to take her back to the plane

* Abby Lee Miller is learning to walking again -- the former Dance Moms star had been using a wheelchair after undergoing chemo for Burkitt lymphoma and having life-saving spinal surgery but she’s now cancer-free and recently underwent an elective operation to help regain mobility -- even though Lifetime canned her plan spinoff Abby’s Virtual Dance Off over charges she’s racist she claims to have a scripted show and two reality series in the works 

Page 8: Mike Tyson says he once used a prosthetic penis loaded with his infant son’s pee to pass a drug test during his hard-hitting heyday in the ring and although he swears he never took performance-enhancing drugs he has been blunt about his history of toking weed and snorting cocaine 

* Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond reveals she has a foster son named Jamar -- Ree who has four children explains she couldn’t talk about Jamar until he turned 18 and state agency restrictions no longer applied 

Page 9: Beloved Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek went to his grave harboring a bitter grudge against talk star and game show rival Regis Philbin -- Alex and Regis began their feud in 2000 when Alex slammed Regis’ Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? as a game show for dummies and Regis was deeply hurt by the dig and shot back that face to face if Alex says anything about Millionaire he’d just look him in the eye and say is that your final answer, Alex? 

Page 10: Inside the modern Mafia -- blogs and blunders and killer cops

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Adam Brody shows off his bod in Malibu (picture), Lamar Odom was seemingly back on a marriage track to wed fitness instructor Sabrina Parr next year but Lamar’s engagement was abruptly called off amid ominous sparks of ongoing trouble for the athlete and Sabrina sad she’s no longer able to be by Lamar’s side while he seeks the help he so desperately needs, Mina Starsiak of Good Bones wants a postpartum tummy tuck pronto, things got bristlier than an old broom for Anne Hathaway groveling her way out of massive fan backlash for her appearance on The Witches remake for the insensitive way she portrayed a three-fingered witch with split hands, behind the scenes at The Tonight Show where Jimmy Fallon recently extended his lucrative contract to host the struggling late-night talk show past 2021 but his head writer Rebecca Drysdale lasted six months of butting heads with Jimmy and his cronies before getting dumped 

Page 13: Katie Holmes and boyfriend Emilio Vitolo Jr. (picture), Sean Stewart in a leg cast in Beverly Hills (picture), Busy Philipps puts on lip gloss on the NYC set of Girls5Eva (picture)

Page 14: Dave Grohl got scared stiff recording an upcoming album in an eerie L.A. home reportedly rocking with paranormal activity and when he got nosy about the place’s past he apparently got answers from the landlord along with an NDA form meant to keep him from spilling secrets, RHOBH star Kyle Richards’ half-sister Kathy Hilton is joining the show; socialite Kathy cold-shouldered Kyle and her husband Mauricio Umansky when he left her husband Rick Hilton’s real estate company to launch a rival biz 

* Fashion Verdict -- Jana Kramer 7/10, Michelle Dockery 4/10, Gretta Monahan 3/10, Charlize Theron 2/10

Page 16: Ailing pop star Phil Collins is being so publicly humiliated by his two-timing ex-wife Orianne Cevey who dashed his dreams of a permanent reunion by secretly marrying another guy pals now fear for his life -- Phil is currently battling Orianne in court over his $38.6 million waterside Miami mansion which she and new husband Thomas Bates have now agreed to vacate but Orianne is demanding half of the home insisting Phil promised her a 50 percent share when they moved into it in 2016 -- Orianne also claims that Phil became a hopeless addict in 2017 hooked on booze and pain pills and after two years of drug hell he was incapable of having sex and he stopped showering and brushing his teeth and had become a hermit 

Page 17: Troubled Jonathan Rhys Meyers crashed his car in Malibu and failed a field sobriety test and was slapped with a misdemeanor DUI 

* Teresa Giudice has found new love with business man Louie Ruelas just two months after divorcing deported jailbird Joe Giudice -- the Real Housewives of New Jersey star who has four girls with Joe hooked up with the dad of two and digital marketing whiz and both are very happy 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About David Giuntoli 

* Sophia Loren says early in her career she told a director to buzz off when he suggested she surgically alter her nose -- she recalls telling the meddling moviemakers her nose is going to stay there forever and it has a lot of personality 

* Parkinson’s patient Michael J. Fox admits he may be forced to say goodbye to Hollywood because his short-term memory is shot and acting is getting tougher to do 

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 21: Desperate to salvage his tarnished reputation and career Johnny Depp is hoping to hook up with another Hollywood outcast in former co-star Angelina Jolie -- Johnny and Angie first flirted while filming The Tourist in 2010 but at the time Johnny was with Vanessa Paradis and Angie was with Brad Pitt -- Johnny recently reached out to Angie to jumpstart their friendship and he’s been sending her poems written with her in mind and suggestions for book to read and music to listen to and they’ve exchanged a series of emails and texts and talk on the phone quite a bit so Johnny has hope to win her heart and they’re making plans to meet in L.A. very soon but the ball is in Angie’s court and she’s open to having a little fun but don’t count on anything getting too serious 

* Johnny Depp’s career has taken another hit as he’s been axed from the Fantastic Beasts film franchise after a British court determined he beat ex-wife Amber Heard at least a dozen times

Page 24: Cover Story -- Princess Diana was lured to her death by a twisted dirty tricks campaign orchestrated by the palace -- acting at the direction of Queen Elizabeth’s hard-case husband Prince Philip British intelligence officers mounted a clever operation to drive Prince Charles’ emotionally fragile wife to the breaking point and they knew she was frantic and suicidal and vulnerable and played on her worst fears -- Diana’s own brother Charles Spencer has also broken a 25-year silence to expose a plot against the People’s Princess and he reveals forged documents and a whisper campaign hinting at treacherous betrayals fueled her paranoia and desperation and despair and pushed her into a decision that ultimately cost her life 

Page 26: Health Report

Page 30: Rock legend Jerry Lee Lewis vowed to keep wailing ‘til the end but the 85-year-old stroke victim now spends his days listening to his old hits and staring out the window and his health has taken a tragic turn for the worse since he was clobbered by the stroke last year -- he’s hunched over and seems confused and he’s forgetful and can’t remember some of the lyrics to his oldest hits; he tries to play the piano and just can’t because his hands are so stiff and don’t move the way he wants them to 

* Mel B claims she’ll go bankrupt if a judge doesn’t lower the $500,000 she’s been ordered to pay her ex-husband and if the sum isn’t modified she will in all likelihood have to file for bankruptcy -- Mel and ex Stephen Belafonte divorced three years ago and have been slugging it out in court ever since

Page 44: Straight Talk -- lifestyle queen bees Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow are at each other’s throats but their furious feud is hard to understand because they’re not really in the same business -- Martha is the ultimate homemaker peddling recipes and furnishings and decorating tips while Gwyneth’s New Age-style Goop website is a sleazy sex shop with items normally found in tacky joints along West Hollywood’s sleazy Santa Monica Boulevard 

Page 45: Sinead O’Connor is taking a break to enter a one-year trauma and addiction treatment program after losing a loved one and she admits she’s been addicted to weed for 34 years but became briefly addicted to another drug following her loss

* Sean Connery’s wealthy widow Micheline Roquebrune could end up behind bars and fined a whopping $28 million if convicted of stiffing the Spanish taxman -- the tax-cheat case spans back to 1999 when Sean sold their Marbella mansion on the glitzy Costa del Sol; Connery’s lawyer and the mayor of Marbella and six other elected officials were jailed over a tax-cheat scam involving the property but in 2014 Sean was told he wouldn’t be prosecuted but now Spanish bigwigs say the case has not gone away and want to indict his widow for tax fraud

[lacuna-lunax]

05/10/24

BIG BIG YIKES

05/10/24 - 2 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Cookie

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Afternoon Tea - 600

Hartley's No Added Sugar Strawberry Jelly Pot

Misfits Caramel Fudge Flavour Plant Based Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Mini Snowballs Milk Chocolate

06/10/24 - 10 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Oreo

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Peachy Keen Zero Sugar

Plant Pioneers Vegan Meat Free Lasagne 363

Hartley's 10 Cal Apple & Watermelon Flavour Jelly

M&S Dessert Menu 12 Mini Macaroons

Maltesers Milk Chocolate & Honeycomb

07/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Tomato & Basil Pasta Ready Meal For 1 354

Fulfil Peanut Butter Chocolate Flavour Vitamin & Protein Bar

Terry's Chocolate Orange Minis

08/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Stamford Street Co. Macaroni Cheese Ready Meal For 1 487

MyProtein Impact Dark Choc Sea Salt Flavour Bar

Cadbury Caramilk Crispy

09/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Stamford Street Co. Cheese & Tomato Pasta 417

Fulfil Peanut Butter Chocolate Flavour Vitamin & Protein Bar

Cadbury White Giant Buttons Chocolate

10/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Oreo White

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

VFC Chickn Fried Rice One Bag 439

Misfits Cookie Butter Flavour Plant Based Protein Bar

Lindt Classic Recipe Caramel Sea Salt

11/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Whole Creations Dairy & Gluten Free Roasted Tomato & Basil Sheesy Pizza 617

Lindahls Pro+ Kvarg Banoffee Pie Protein Yogurt

Aero Melts Chocolate Neapolitan Ice Cream

12/10/24 - 2 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Cookie

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Strong Roots Veg Thai Green Curry 329

Mr Kipling Mini Battenbergs Cakes

Maltesers Milk Chocolate & Honeycomb

13/10/24 - 2 Fizz

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Oreo

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Plant Pioneers Vegan Meat Free Lasagne 363

Hartley's Raspberry Jelly Pot

Sainsbury's Free From Chocolate Cake Slices

Maltesers Milk Chocolate & Honeycomb

14/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Tomato & Basil Pasta Ready Meal For 1 354

Barebells Protein Bar Cookies & Cream

Cadbury Bitsa Wispa

15/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Spinach Ricotta Cannelloni, Taste the Difference Ready Meal For 1 465

Jutrzenka Be-be Biscuits

Lindahls Pro+ Kvarg Blueberry Muffin Protein Yogurt

Ferrero Raffaello White Chocolate with Coconut & Almond Bar

16/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

Sainsbury's Vegetable Tikka Curry with Rice Ready Meal For 1 443

FULFIL Chocolate Salted Caramel Vitamin & Protein Bar

Cadbury Darkmilk Chocolate Giant Buttons

17/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Oreo White

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

VFC Chickn Fried Rice One Bag 439

Hartley's 10 Cal Cherry Bakewell Tart Flavour Jelly

Barebells Raspberry Cream Protein Bar

Reese's Peanut Butter Bar

18/10/24

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Drink Ultra Zero Sugar

White Rabbit Margherita Gluten Free Pizzetta 399

FULFIL Chocolate Salted Caramel Vitamin & Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Giant Buttons Chocolate Pouch

[weaverlings]

Time Works

Poorly, or not at all. Like love. Unscientifically. In mysterious ways, mostly.

Night Vale has changed, whether or not its citizens know.

god idk I did this all at once tonight because I’m emotional?? about tomorrow?? year 8 yeah okay!!!!!!

this is extremely post episode 150, 100% pure hypothetical but I had fun playing with some concepts

content note for anxiety, accidental pregnancy, alcohol, spiders

AO3 Link

- - - - - -

Three o'clock in the morning. That meant something now. 

Time, lost sleep, sweat, dreams. All soaked into the sheets. It felt like the AC was off for some reason. Why would the AC be off? It was not Pioneer Day again, yet. The clock was still on, red digits leaking onto Cecil's lacquered night stand. 

Three-oh-one, now. His shirt was damp against his back. His arm was trapped under Carlos' back, so he couldn't really roll over to see the clock. He could only lie there, and glance at it, and not fall back asleep. He tried to ease his arm free, as Carlos' warmth had broken into the heat of deep sleep, the heat of a summer night that contradicted every lecture on desert safety and survival from his boy scout days.

Almost forty years ago now. That meant something. 

Carlos made a sound. An abrupt sigh, a heavy breath. His lungs catching up with the rest of him. Cecil thought that this meant he had not been gentle enough, although Carlos would not have understood it that way. 

"Ceec?" 

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Mmm? Mmm-no, hold on..." Carlos protested, and rolled onto his side. 

Cecil caught Carlos' hand as it slipped over his stomach. He squeezed, kissed Carlos' knuckles, and then, delicately, tucked his husband's hand between them so that he could sit up. He whispered, "I just need a drink of water."

He closed the bathroom door behind him, and thought, this is what mirrors are for, and his heart quivered in his throat, but his thoughts were running away from him now, his thoughts were heat-haze-

This is a moment that belongs to a mirror, I should lean on the countertop, and I should look, look in and really see- 

He did not touch the black drape. It hung, still and opaque. His heartbeat throbbed in his skull, rushing in his ears, eating into his perception of space. He did want some water. That had been true, still was. He had frightened himself now, and if he grabbed the tap, then his knuckles might brush the cloth behind it. He might touch the mirror. Well, he couldn't, but he might come as close as he could. 

Nearly forty-five years ago, his mother had warned him. She had looked into his eyes, and he had looked back, wide, grinning, knowing only the attention of someone who loved him. She had looked into his eyes, until he giggled, but she had never laughed. 

That meant something now. He had been too young to understand then, but he had broken the moment. A moment, a mirror. And he was old enough to understand now, it hadn't been his fault.

He just, he needed some water. That was all. He reached for his glass by the sink, a novelty glass with fading paint: S  my's Ultima lic ria. Half the S was gone, too, worn away by his thumb over the years. There was a knock on the door. He dropped the glass. 

It shattered. 

The door opened. The glass shattered under the sharp, orange light, and now what had been maybe three-quarters of a pizza slice were fragments of cartoon eyeballs on fragments of lumpy yellow background. 

Carlos leaned in through the doorway, speaking past a hand over his mouth. "Aww, honey! Are you okay? Oh, I'm so sorry, I know that glass was your favorite, I didn't mean-"

"I know," Cecil said, too quickly. He reached out over the shards. Carlos took his hand tightly, and Cecil's pulse softened, or at least, throbbed less behind his eyes. And then Carlos let go, and blew Cecil an apologetic kiss. 

Carlos said, "I'll go grab a broom. And some slippers. Closed-toed footwear is very important for safety. So you stay right where you are until I've got some, okay? Don't move!"

Cecil did move, but it was to lean back and brace himself against the counter. It had been around ten minutes, probably. Three-eleven in the morning. That meant he was never getting his glass back. It had lasted him over thirty-five years. He felt something pulling in his chest, testing the connection between his heart and its vessels.

He would just have to find a new one. 

------

The house was quiet without Roger. 

The house was quiet with Roger, but it was a different kind of quiet. There were ripples: traffic through the open window. The humming fridge. The sound of the traffic coming in through the open window tearing out the doorway that he had thoughtfully left open for them. But otherwise, the quiet had settled, with no young voice to ask Earl about lunch, or to drive him to meet his friends in the sand wastes. 

Roger was at his mother's. Roger's mother had once been Earl's girlfriend, and now they had a custody agreement. It was all amicable.

What had happened was this: Earl had been nineteen for exactly one year. During that year, he had dated a young woman, and they had sex. They used birth control. It worked. They'd graduated college and gone their separate ways. Several years later, after Earl had established himself in an upscale kitchen, they tried again as adults. As independent adults, anyway. 

They had sex. They used birth control. It failed. They talked about what to do - if they wanted to let the pregnancy become a child. If she wanted that, most importantly. 

She did. And then, they did. They had decent means and familial support. They could make their life work with a child in it, they thought. They turned out to be wrong. They could not make their life work at all, but, in the end, they had made their lives work with a child in it. They were better co-parents than partners. 

It was all perfectly amicable, as long as they both remembered that the other existed. It had been that way for as long as Earl remembered now, too. Their lawyers had both had a lot to say to him, regarding the fact that he had picked Roger up for the school year a few years back and never returned. 

But there had been a custody agreement, and Earl had always adhered to it perfectly. Hadn't he? He'd asked Roger's mother. Didn't she remember all the time she had spent with their son over the years?

She did. No one asked Roger what he remembered. Earl didn't ask, because he couldn't bear to. He couldn't guess his co-parent's motivation, and it was better not to try. Better to just leave things as amicable. 

The Faceless Old Woman had been disappointed by just how amicable it was. She'd wanted some drama. Humans were good at drama, but all that had happened was this: Roger's mother rang the doorbell. Earl clapped his son on the shoulder and asked if he had everything. Roger nodded silently and shrugged his duffel bag up on his shoulder, and he left without saying anything.

The house was usually quiet, even with Roger. 

But there was texture, or tension, or there was something, anyway. The Faceless Old Woman had opened the window to let the traffic in as a kind of protest, and to disrupt the specific quiet that settled over the house. Earl closed the window before he left, so that he could lock the door on his way out. 

He was an adult with a social life, and time to spend. He had plans that afternoon with an old friend and his husband. They would provide the groceries, the knives, and some labor, because cooking together could be a joyful labor as long as no one was paying you to do it. He would provide the rest of the labor, and his choice of wine. 

Several hours later, there was a roast in Cecil and Carlos' oven, gleaming with lead-free glaze that Earl had brushed on just so. Potatoes topped with pencil shaving crust and casserole dish of green beans waited in the warming drawer underneath. The bottle of wine was down about halfway, although not all of that had actually been drunk yet. All three men were feeling pleasant and companionable, not watching a movie while they waited for the roast to finish. 

Carlos volunteered to get up to check on it. It took him a minute and three kisses to untangle himself from his husband. 

"So, how are things back at your place?" Cecil asked, draped over the armrest of the couch to face Earl. "Enjoying some peace and quiet?"

Earl sipped. He said, "It's quiet."

Cecil straightened. "But you're not enjoying it?"

"Well, I'm not… not enjoying it. But it's different. It's like, I'd just gotten used to things being one way, and now it's another…"

"Oh, yeah, I totally know what you-"

"But that's not true, either. It's been like this for a long time. I mean, I've shared custody of Roger for… for most of my adult life."

"Well, of course. But that doesn't mean it can't be tough," Cecil offered sympathetically. 

"Of course?"

"Well… Yeah. Yeah, of course?"

"No. Not of course. Because it's new, isn't it? It's always been this way, but not for long."

Cecil was silent. Cecil was watching the movie, Earl realized.

Earl leaned forward in his chair. "You know what I mean, right? Don't you, Cecil? I can't… That's the only way I can describe it, but you… How would you describe it?"

Cecil picked up his glass, but did not drink. He twirled it between his fingers, and closed his eyes. "I wouldn't. I wouldn't describe it, Earl."

"But that's what you do, right?"

Cecil treated him to an odd half-smile, as if there had ever been a normal one. Here, he saw an out. "Actually, that's more Carlos' territory. I'm just a humble reporter."

"Oh, really?" Earl looked over Cecil's shoulder, as Carlos came back into the room. Cecil looked behind him, and then to Earl again, shaking his head minutely. Earl hesitated as Carlos came around to take his seat. In the end, he took a gulp of his own wine and caught Cecil's eye defiantly. "Hey, Carlos. What do you think?"

Carlos nodded, and began ticking off items on his fingers. "The roast isn't done yet. The sky is a perfect, cloudless blue, and how often does that happen? I'm pretty worried about it. This movie has a lot of scientific inaccuracies, so maybe we could try another?"

Carlos had not heard what they were talking about.

Earl said, "Uh, sure! But that's not what I meant. I meant, what do you think about the fact that, things haven't been the way they've always been for long."

"Always is a fallacy."

"He's right, you know," Cecil marvelled, and kissed Carlos' cheek. "My brilliant scientist…"

"Okay, fine. But, like… Things have been this way for a while. You know, just things. Life. Except, actually, it's been… two months, at most. No. Almost a month and a half."

Carlos took stock of his current sensory input. He could see Earl, still forward in his seat, eager in an almost biting way. He could also feel his husband, the body pressed against his, the fingers wrapped tight around his shoulder. 

"I haven't studied that yet, so it would be irresponsible of me to say," Carlos said carefully. "But I think that I like how things are now. I think that maybe I'll study it, but I'd rather enjoy this state of being, this... right now, you know? Than pick it apart." 

"I think this is far more entertaining than the movie," the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lived in their home crooned from somewhere above the couch. "But lay off on the insect treatments, okay? I'm running out of snacks." 

She was just glad they hadn't gone to a restaurant, or somewhere that was not a home. She'd hoped to keep tabs on the fidgety one, the one who was a mass of sloshing darkness inside, and she could do that just fine here. She could do that in all homes at once. Time had never been her problem.

------

Maureen still lived with her parents, so she joined Michelle at her apartment after work most nights. It was a small place, capturing perfectly the idea of bare bones. Most of the decor that there was, was skull themed. Skull-patterned cushions on a built-it-yourself couch. Skull-patterned bedding. 

All the mugs were just skulls with the jaws removed. There were mostly mugs in the kitchen. One plate, a scattering of forks, and Michelle hadn't even filled the hot milk drawer yet. That was millennial life: a floating existence, easy to uproot. She'd have a hot milk drawer one day, if she ever settled down.

Maybe it would be their hot milk drawer. That'd be nice, they both thought, but they didn't know how to approach such a personal subject with each other yet. So they kept bouncing on Michelle's carpet. They were recording a hopcore album together. That was a subject they could handle. 

They could also handle the neighbors below them, who were throwing shoes and rocks and occasionally fruit at their ceiling to express their displeasure. Maureen had brought over a tube of wolf spider insulation that night. She had poured it down the vents, and then super-glued the vents shut. 

It'd take a few days, Maureen promised, but soon they'd have a lot less editing to do. Maureen was pretty good at editing - she'd had a lot of experiencing working with auditory media, which was exactly why she hated it. So Michelle handled that, but Maureen didn't mind pitching in to lighten the load. 

Michelle wouldn't have minded, either way. She liked editing what they made together. She heard it more closely than anyone that way, even Maureen herself. She'd select a tiny clip of their breathing and loop it, under a second, again and again and again and. Until it had been several seconds, and then she pressed delete, and their breathing was gone forever. 

Michelle didn't know how to feel about that, but it curdled in her chest, and as long as Maureen stayed with her, she'd have time to figure things out.

They'd just kind of been doing this. Michelle had just locked up the shop, like always, when her phone buzzed. It was Maureen, asking if Michelle wanted to hang. Michelle did, and invited Maureen over. Michelle had gone home, like always, just letting her feet deal with the problem of navigation. 

And then, like always, Maureen had been waiting by the door to the apartment. 

It had never happened before, and one day, Maureen would have a key, and also not live with her parents anymore. But until that day, meeting Maureen outside was what it meant to come home.

------

The bleachers of the Night Vale High School gymnasium were mostly empty. The Night Vale High wheelchair basketball team was in its off-season, but they were holding a scrimmage that day to stay sharp. It wasn't something that demanded any audience, but it had one. A loose collection of bored siblings tagging along with supportive parents. A few peers trying to look bored, like they were only here for want of anything else to do, although they obviously had crushes on team members. 

Cecil, Carlos, Steve, and Abby sat together in the front row. Steve, as assistant coach, occasionally called out encouragement, or a suggestion here and there. Cecil, as a doting uncle, did the same. Whenever a husband jumped up to offer their input, Abby and Carlos, leaning back on the bleachers, shared a smile. 

Congratulations were in order after the game, of course. Janice high-fived her parents and uncles before heading to the locker room. Carlos volunteered to grab some snacks from the vending machine; it was still early and warm, and the gators would be too busy sunning themselves by the doors to be an effective barrier. 

Abby left to bring the car around, in part just because she could, just to enjoy the knowledge that she could leave her husband and brother in the same room, and no one would get hurt. 

"Hard to believe she's gonna be graduating in a year." Steve shook his head. "They grow up so fast."

Cecil was actually silent as they left the gym. "Oh, god! She is. Wow. Well, she's growing into a great young woman."

"Uh-huh. She's got a lot of great people to look up to. Her mother's a real winner. And her uncles aren't half-bad, either." Steve chuckled. He often did this. 

"Yes, well. Her dad is also… a good guy." Cecil said, after clearing his throat. Steve often chuckled, and this still annoyed him. God, it was so annoying. But Steve was a good guy, and more importantly: "A really solid dad, yup."

"We do the best we can with the time we've got. Just gotta hope it's enough." 

"Is it ever?"

The hallway was empty, choked with the absence of students and teachers. Their steps echoed off the lockers. 

Steve got the point. "No. I guess not."

Cecil thought about Janice. She had grown and changed so much. That was what childhood was. There was no stillness in childhood. She was hurtling, always, at speeds that would have made him sick now. He had done the same thing, but. 

It just all felt impossible. He'd been a community radio show host since before she was even born, and he would stay that way until someone pried the microphone from his cold, dead hands. Probably, this would happen literally. That was exactly what he wanted. 

It had been what he wanted, once. He had been a community radio show host for twenty-five years, and yes, he would stay that way. So, nothing changed. Or, everything did, and he couldn't understand or follow along in any meaningful way. He just reported on it. 

Soon, his niece would be graduating high school. But he would still be a radio host. His purpose would not change. His identity would not change. There was something in his chest, pulling. Something testing the connection between his heart and its vessels.

He could just say: nothing will change. This is how it is , until that was true. 

"Hey, are you doing okay? You're pretty quiet."

"What?" And then, realizing the question left a gap Cecil did not want to fill, he said, "Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay. You're just not usually quiet."

"I am perfectly capable of being quiet, Steve."

He was. He could be quiet. Sometimes, he even liked it. Curled up on the couch next to his husband, Carlos pressing idle kisses over his collarbone, his head tipped up to invite them. Quiet in the middle of a movie, or when they read on their phones before bed. 

Quiet at the dinner table, as he and Carlos delighted in Earl's cooking too much to compliment it right away. 

Quiet listening to Michelle's newest apiary arrangement, which she most certainly did not want his old-fashioned opinion of. 

Quiet, rapt in the audience of Janice's third ballet fight, the last before she'd given it up for basketball captaincy. 

And even in his studio, waiting for the weather to finish. 

They left the high school, and stepped into the bright afternoon. Carlos was already waiting outside with packages of gator jerky and orange juice. Cecil took some snacks, mostly to free his husband's hand for holding. He kissed Carlos on the cheek, and thought, I want this , so he kissed Carlos again, and then Carlos kissed him, and that frantic pull in his chest snapped. There was something spreading inside of him, a liquid sensation like internal bleeding, but freeing. 

His identity would not change, nor would it be limited. He could be a radio host, and not only that. With time, he would learn what else.

------

Cecil cleared their table at Big Rico's while Carlos settled the check. When the scientist came back, he set down something new. It was a novelty glass. The paint was crisp and bright. The motto, "No one does a slice like Big Rico. No one," was printed on it, where Big Rico was written in the logo font.

"Here, babe. I got this for you."

"Ooh, Carlos! I love it, aw! Thank you!"

"Of course. I mean, it's just to replace the one that broke."

"Yeah, but it's from you. That means… everything."

Actually, he could find a metaphor in it. That was his territory, more than description. He could draw a line, a narrative arc, from what had broken to what he held in his hands now. Something old and faded and certainly serviceable, but just not representative of where he ate lunch anymore, much less who he was. 

Also, Carlos had gotten it for him. So, seriously. Cecil loved it.

"As long as you like it."

"I do. I love it." Cecil held the gift to his chest in both hands, and kissed Carlos with it still between them. 

Then he thought the better of it, and broke off long enough to set it down. It needed to at least make it home with them. They kissed again, not for long, but embracing fully this time. They gathered up the leftovers, and Cecil held the door for Carlos on the way out.

"After you, Doctor!"

He really did have a brilliant husband, after all. Always was a fallacy. They were now, and that was enough. 

[amortm]

      *  𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒  𝐔𝐏  ,  pretty  kitties  !   i'm  terribly  sorry  abt  my  absence  on  the  dash  alongside  you  angels  ,  &  trust  that  i’m  fully  embarrassed  of  my  slow  ass  ,  but  i  finally  typed  this  baby  out  ,  &  i  can’t  wait  for  y’all  to  meet  my  love  ,  𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔  !

*  ╰   it’s  an  absolute  dishonour  to  meet  you ,   julianna  /  jules  .  at   twenty - one  ,  you’ve  disgraced  the   peralta   family  name  &  failed  to  carry  on  their  legacy  as  an  elite  .  as  a  result  ,  they’ve  requested  that  we  at  the  academy  do  our  best  to  rid  you  of  your  venality  ,  & seeing  as  though  they’re  worth  86m  ,  we  dutifully  obliged  .  while  your   pleonastic  &  inexorable  attributes  have  always  promised  failure  ,  it’s  your  spar  with   pride  &  ghosting  your  breakout  acting  role  after  you  found  out  your  daddy  secured  it  for  you   that  got  you  committed  .  before  we  take  possession  of  you  ,  it’s  imperative  that  we  know  that  you  are  a   cisfem  who  prefers   she  &  her  pronouns  ,  &  you  resemble   diana  silvers  .  your  birthday  is  on   april  26th  ,  making  you  a  recalcitrant  taurus  ,  &  you  were  transported  to  us  all  the  way  from   vail  ,  co  .  at  the  present  time  ,  you  work  off  campus  at   seaside  florist  .  go  ahead  &  purchase  that  extra  large  suitcase  ,  disgrace  .  you’re  going  to  need  it . 

your  name  /  age  /  pronouns  /  timezone  /  etc  .

hiya  loves  !   i  go  by  blue  &  she  /  her  pronouns  ,   i’m  9teen  ,   &  i’m  a  pst  baby  !   i’m  one  of  the  six  lovely  admins  @  #unholy  ,   &  they’re  all  superstars  ,   so  imagine  my  daily  awe  !   anyway  ,   i’m  beyond  excited  to  finally  get  the  ball  rolling  ,   &  share  the  dash  with  you  babes  !

 muse  inspo  .

noora  sætre  ,   the  goldfinch  ,   ella  of  frell  ,   neil  perry  ,   charlie  dalton  ,   claire  saffitz  ,   monica  geller  ,   carla  lalli  music  ,   mia  thermopolis  ,   adam  parrish  ,   blue  sargent  ,   anna  ou  !

 character  details  :

    💐 :   sweetly  judgmental  ,  adoringly  vindictive   /   vindictively  adoring  ,   witty  ‘n  gritty  ,   bitingly  tender  ,   expressively  stubborn  ,   softly  feral  !

    😈 :   hershey’s  chocolate  ,   brooklyn  pizza  ,   baguettes  ,   collector  edition  copies  of  wuthering  heights  ,   selfies  ,   her  mom  ,   richard  siken  anthologies  ,   twilight  (  #teamedward  )  ,   crowded  movie  theaters  ,   english  gardens  ,   the  air  in  new  york  ,   the  air  in  vail  ,   snowboarding  ,   her  hair  ,   hot  chocolate  (  no  whipped  cream  ,   half  a  bag  of  mini  marshmallows  dumped  atop  )  ,   andrew  garfield  ,   her  discover  weekly  playlist  ,   german  shepherds  ,   harry  potter  ,   lord  of  the  rings  ,   comedies  ,   horror  movies ,   nude  lipstick  ,   chocolate  chip  toffee  cookies  with  sea  salt  drizzled  on  top  ,   mamma  mia  franchise  ,   dissertations  ,   driving  ,   any  typa  jacket  /  coat  ,   being  the  big  spoon  ,   her  father  ,   coca  cola  ,   lilies  ,   disney  t - shirts  ,   her  father’s  films  ,   take  out  ,   farms  ,   italy  (  every  single  crevice  of  it  )  ,   the  plaza  hotel  ,   mint  chip  ice  cream  ,   hats  ,   trains ,   monthly  horoscopes  ,  ancient  history  ,   greenwich  village  ,   maggie  rogers  ,   mating  ritual  ,   vampire  weekend  ,   mitski  ,   the  wombats  ,   magic  bronson  ,   jade  bird  ,   hockey  ,   pretending  to  be  a  fairy / witch  /  mermaid  as  a  child  ,   naruto  ,   avatar  the  last  airbender  ,   stepping  over  state  /  country  lines  ,   hot  water  with  honey  ,   amazon  prime  !

    👿 :   the  marvel  franchise  except  for  the  captain  america  &  thor  trilogies  ,   coffee  &  tea  ,   shorts  ,   sweet  potatoes  ,   layovers  of  any  length  ,   socks  ,   soy  milk  ,   her  arms  ,   chihuahuas  ,   a  song  of  fire  &  ice  novels  ,   super  fudgy  /  rich  cake  &  brownies  ,   cooking  for  herself  ,   being  told  what  to  do  ,   being  wrong  &  having  everyone  know  it  ,   people  who  are  rude  to  employees  ,   bad  tipping  ,   margaret  atwood  ,   her  first  grade  teacher  ,   plastic  coke  bottles  ,   too  much  pepper  in  a  dish  !

 upbringing  &  family  life  ,  life  before  the  academy  ,  etc  .

     julianna  rachel  peralta  was  born  to  a  beauty  -  charmed  family  of  three  ,   with  a  new  yorker  mother  &  italian  father  birthing  the  healthiest  &  happiest  girl  parents  can  dream  for  .    her  mother  ,  susanna  ‘ susie ’  peters  ,   was  coined  the  model  that  pioneered  90′s  fashion  ,  a  la  kate  moss  ,   &  met  julianna’s  father  ,   elio  peralta   (  think  the  francis  ford  coppola  of  this  verse  )  ,   whilst  she  was  briefly  on  set  for  jack  to  see  friend  fran  drescher  .    their  love  stemmed  from  there  ,   after  she  made  a  mocking  comment  &  he  overhead  &  mocked  her  in  return  for  it  ,   &  the  whirlwind  romance  that  captivated  their  world  for  the  next  few  years  led  to  miss  jules  being  born  .    neither  of  her  parents  desired  marriage  from  each  other  ,   rather  believing  that  their  love  knew  no  bounds  ,   even  those  of  matrimony  ,   but  never  did  it  dim  the  bond  held  between  the  small  family  of  three  .    once  jules  was  in  their  arms  ,   they  relocated  from  new  york  to  colorado  ,   into  the  quaint  town  of  vail  ,   surrounded  by  pristine  mountains  &  crystalline  air  ,   where  susie  &  elio  found  a  pocket  of  indisputable  peace  after  a  small  winter  trip  in  their  first  year  of  romance  .

        it  was  there  that  jules  grew  up  ,   &  there  that  the  love  of  her  parents  faltered  .    her  mother  missed  the  world  of  fashion  ,   the  rhythms  &  rhymes  of  the  space  she  knew  as  well  as  in  maintaining  the  fame  that  spotlighted  her  so  ,   while  elio’s  passions  for  turning  out  film  after  film  dwindled  .    &  when  the  offer  from  vogue  came  in  ,   waxing  poetic  about  a  fresh  position  as  a  fashion  editor  ,   both  she  &  elio  knew  that  their  paths  would  veer  .    their  love  was  no  less  ,   but  integral  factors  of  their  relationship  were  now  fractured  ,   &  they  each  desired  after  different  things  .    this  was  all  said  to  julianna  ,   in  soft  tones  &  with  assuring  words  .    yet  ,   never  was  it  promised  that  everything  would  be  the  same  as  it  was  ,   for  the  truth  was  in  something  unsaid  .    susie  moved  to  new  york  ,   while  elio  &  jules  stayed  in  that  mansion  in  the  mountains  ,   &  all  was  as  fair  &  well  as  it  could  be  ,   with  julianna  staying  with  her  mom  during  the  fall  season  &  discovering  every  little  piece  of  italy  in  the  summers  .    christmases  &  hanukkahs  were  always  shared  in  vail  ,   &  susie  tagged  along  european  dives  when  her  schedule  allowed  for  it  .    it  was  as  if  their  relationship  &  subsequent  uncoupling  were  trivial  details  no  one  could  bother  to  account  for  ,  until  ,   in  the  worst  spot  she’s  ever  seen  her  mother  ,   it  came  out  that  elio  peralta  found  a  new  woman  to  share  a  life  with  ,   &  that  their  new  life  together  would  be  housed  in  the  same  home  that  susie  &  elio  specially  chose  &  ,   in  emotional  terms  ,  truly  built  themselves  &  carved  their  family  in  its  foundations  .    it  was  a  betrayal  of  the  deepest  caliber  ,   &  from  there  the  small  peace  that  still  was  at  the  core  of  their  little  family  was  forever  severed  ,   &  it  became  obvious  to  jules  that  those  few  years  were  lucky  .

     she  was  thirteen  when  famed  actress  lily  taylor  (  aka  jennifer  connely  lmao  )  moved  into  her  family  home  ,   bringing  her  adopted  eleven - year - old  twins  with  her  .    in  a  sense  of  loyalty  to  her  mother  &  her  own  hurt  over  the  despair  that  her  father  caused  their  original  trio  ,   jules  was  heartily  &  positively  prepared  to  hate  the  new  additions  to  her  family  with  a  vindictive  fidelity  .    her  plan  was  promptly  overturned  ,   however  ,   when  she  spent  day  upon  day  with  her  new  fam  &  steadily  allowed  them  into  her  heart  .    this  ,   of  course  ,   was  paired  with  doubtless  guilt  ,   spurred  on  by  her  own  mind  whenever  she  flew  to  nyc  to  see  her  mother  ,   but  soon  enough  this  was  caught  by  each  of  her  parents  ,   &  susie  was  insistent  in  her  assurance  that  whatever  frigidness  she  still  held  for  elio  &  his  new  beau   (  which  julianna  didn’t  bother  to  correct  with  wife  )   ,   it  in  no  way  extends  nor  should  be  mimicked  by  her  .    elio  ,   in  turn  ,   was  quick  to  promise  to  jules  that  his  love  for  her  mother  flamed  in  his  heart  to  this  day  ,   but  each  of  them  are  happier  living  their  lives  in  the  lifestyles  they’ve  chosen  ,   with  the  people  they’ve  chosen  .    

      there  really  wasn’t  anything  to  do  but  swallow  their  words  ,   &  live  by  the  sentiments  they  expressed  .   jules  was  both  a  mama’s  &  daddy’s  girl  in  one  ,   so  to  take  their  words  as  fact  was  an  ignorance  she  allowed  herself  ,   even  when  the  hurt  look  on  her  mother’s  faced  inevitably  shone  through  in  hidden  moments  .

     but  when  jules  turned  seventeen  ,   susie  fell  in  love  with  a  musician  /  designer  named  tommy  lever  she  met  while  interviewing  his  collection  for  vogue  ,  &  the  two  fell  deep  ,  far  enough  to  sway  susie  into  moving  to  brazil  during  the  spring  season  ,  away  from  her  beloved  manhattan  loft  ,  to  be  with  him  in  his  home  (  the  link  is  crucial  to  his  characterization  lmao  ,  as  lenny  kravitz  is  essentially  tommy  lever  )  .   when  she  can  ,  jules  visits  as  often  as  she’s  allowed  (  always  )  &  has  gained  a  room  herself  .

      after  that  ,   however  ,   the  cycle  between  her  various  homes  continued  ,   well  into  her  slipping  teendom  ,   &  when  the  prospect  of  college  crunched  down  on  her  ,   the choice  seemed  inevitable  .   nyu  gained  a  classics  &  theater  major  for  its  class  of  2019  (  she  skipped  the  third  grade  ,  a  fact  she  didn’t  stop  bragging  about  at  that  age  )  ,   but  in  her  senior  year  of  university  ,   the  walls  came  crashing  down  .

 what  sin  are  they  categorized  under  ?  why ?

jules  belongs  to  the  sin  of  #pride  through  &  through  .   after  all  ,   if  there  was  one  damning  trait  to  send  her  straight  into  the  pits  of  burning  infernos  ,  her  prideful  sense  of  self  would  be  it  .   that’s  not  to  say  she’s  arrogant  (  nor  am  i  saying  she  isn’t  )  ,  but  it’s  more  that  she  can’t  take  being  undermined  or  allow  the  supposed  undermining  to  go  unpunished  .   she  has  a  great  deal  of  #pride  in  her  own  self  worth  &  capabilities  ,  though  she’s  usually  loathe  to  make  it  known  in  plain  terms  ,  &  if  she  feels  attacked  in  that  manner  ,  she’ll  completely  close  up  .   this  often  ,  as  you’ll  surely  be  able  to  tell  ,   beckons  problematic  shit  .

 what  got  them  sent  to  the  academy  ?

      during  jules’  senior  year  at  nyu  ,  she  was  contacted  by  her  agent  (  shared  with  her  father  )  &  offered  an  audition  for  a  leading  role  in  a  major  hollywood  studio  film  .   throughout  the  years  ,  she  dabbled  in  theater  &  attracted  a  starring  role  or  two  along  the  way  ,  especially  in  school  productions  ,   but  the  plan  for  success  was  always  envisioned  after  college  .   when  she  got  the  call  ,  however  ,  she  handled  it  with  a  happy - go - lucky  fuck  it  sort  of  approach  ,  &  a  week  later  ,  when  she  received  the  good - bearing  call  ,  there  was  no  backing  out  ,  or  so  she  thought  .   tentatively  dropping  out  of  the  semester  in  which  she  would  graduate  ,  jules  modeled  the  next  few  months  of  her  life  around  the  film  ,  happily  doing  so  .   

      yet  ,  the  first  week  into  rehearsals  brought  down  a  cloud  so  dark  she  thought  she’d  choke  under  it  .   she  overheard  a  few  producers  on  their  lunch  break  ,  talking  about  this - & - that - esque  bullshit  ,  but  just  as  she  was  passing  ,  one  of  them  made  a  comment  about  the  peralta  girl  ,  &  how  hollywood  legacies  are  the  roaches  of  the  industry  .   how  directors  from  the  middle  ages  should  just  stick  to  ruining  things  behind  the  camera  ,  not  forcing  a  disaster  in  front  of  it  .   

      that  day  ,  jules  walked  out  of  set  &  never  took  a  step  back  in  .   effectively  ruining  her  future  career  in  the  process  ,  she  ghosted  all  contact  from  the  production  &  even  went  as  far  to  jet  off  to  brazil  to  regenerate  with  her  mom  as  an  escape  .   she  couldn’t  even  pick  up  where  she  left  off  during  the  semester  ,  &  simply  had  to  sit  back  &  witness  her  classmates  of  four  years  graduate  without  her  .   her  parents  were  furious  ,  but  the  only  thing  she  gave  in  return  was  a  steely  silence  ,  refusing  even  turn  a  glare  to  her  father  .   now  ,  she’s  been  shoved  into  the  hands  of  the  academy  ,  biding  the  days  until  she  could  return  to  nyu  in  the  fall  .  

what  do  you  think  they’ll  struggle  with  the  most  at  the  academy ?

tbh  ,  the  biggest  issue  for  jules  is  the  resentment  curling  at  her  core  .   at  her  father  ,  the  film  ,  the  academy  ,  herself  .   right  now  she’s  just  in  a  foul  mood  &  sick  at  being  forced  into  glitterati  rehab  ,  but  her  #pride  won’t  allow  her  to  fail  ,  even  if  she  wishes  to  do  it  just  to  spite  everyone  .   she  is  a  people  person  ,  however  ,  &  will almost  definitely  warm  up  ,  even  if  it’s  just  for  appearances  sake  .

extra  details  :  links  you’d  like  to  incorporate  ,  wanted  connections  ,  literally anything  else  you  want  to  include  ,  etc  .

wanted  connections  will  be  coming  soon  !   for  now  ,  please  enjoy  this  authentic  video  of  jules  chillin  in  her  fav  corner  of  the  world  ,  aka  italia  ,  taken  by  her  bff  eli  😔✌️

[recentanimenews]

Why "Bad" Dubs Are Good

When it comes to translating and adaptating anime, most people don't even know where the process begins or ends. Enter the world of dubbed anime. From the mid 1980s up to the early 2000s, dubbed anime experienced a transformative boom via the transition from video-only releases to cable syndication. Back in the day, you walked six miles in the snow to a sketchy video store to get your Neon Genesis Evangelion tapes supplied by only a handful of distributors.

  Among these early birds were the dubs produced by licensor Manga Entertainment, which included the original VHS tape release of Oh! Production’s classic Devilman OVA dubs based off the popular horror manga by Go Nagai. Other notable early dub projects included Cyber City Oedo 808 which delivered perhaps the crowning achievement in anime dubbing history (warning: explicit language). All of these dubs have one thing in common: they deviate so much from their original scripts, they may actually be some of the best dubs ever made. They're so "bad" they redefine what we think of as good.

   Devilman OVA (1995)

  Let’s go back to 1995—Manga Entertainment had acquired the first Devilman OVA, The Birth, and had enlisted the voice talents of Alan D. Marriott as Akira Fudo and Adam Matalon as Ryo Asuka, two young men caught in the middle of some very angry and lewd demons. The dub was released on VHS tape and was definitely the sort of thing you wouldn’t see on front shelves at video stores.

This was a time before Pokémon, where anime was still a niche genre with a dedicated, but significantly smaller fanbase. For context, Fox Video had only just released My Neighbor Totoro’s English dub in 1993. Even earlier than that was the notorious 1985 home video release of Warriors of the Wind, a Frankenstein'd “adaptation” of Nausicaaä of the Valley of the Wind that promptly led to Studio Ghibli adopting a “no cuts” policy in future film dubs. Any future competent dubs were going to have to be better than that.

  Artwork for Warriors of the Wind

The 1995 Devilman dub sat in-between this awkward era, a time where a “no cuts” was the established policy for Studio Ghibli movies, but adult-oriented anime was left to fend for itself. A story entirely about evil demons, horrification transformation, nudity, and heavy violence couldn’t be heavily edited or censored without destroying the final product. Hence, the 1995 Devilman dub is but a handful of dubs that take a wildly different approach to “adaptation” while still surprisingly remaining true to the source material’s intent. It remained true to the spirit of Devilman's intense themes and tone, but with its own truly biting twist.

Committing to the Bit

In the 1995 Devilman dub, as Akira and Ryo are being attacked by a demon crashing through a window, Matalon (Ryo) yells “f#%kin’ a run for it” in the less-than-impressed voice of a nineties young adult who just finished watching Clerks. While in the Japanese dub Ryo seems genuinely caught off guard, Matalon’s delivery of Ryo’s adapted lines sounds like something from The Evil Dead. The Devilman OVA dub did well enough to dovetail into a second volume, which continued this trend of believable yet totally different dialogue. Devilman’s awkward mid-nineties dub might be considered an early “gag dub” in the same way many consider the infamous story of Ghost Stories’ 2005 ADV release ten years later. When it comes to “committing to the bit,” this series adapted by Steven Foster truly challenged what it meant to be a “good” dub.

Ghost Stories

Despite being a commercial flop in Japan, the Ghost Stories dub found a much different audience with its definitely-not-for-broadcast adaptation. However, unlike the the Devilman dubs prior to it, cultural changes such as the rise of adult animation like South Park made potty-mouth cartoons slightly more acceptable. For example, Ghost Stories’ purple-haired schoolgirl Momoko is a reserved and quiet character in the original, but is transformed into a bizarre born again Evangelical Christian in the ADV adaptation. While this joke obviously wouldn’t make much sense in the original, the straight performance of the adapted script flies with these changes without pause. A dub that should be “bad” for the sake of technically being incorrect, in fact, excels in strange new ways that the original never could.

Although the Ghost Stories dub took full advantage of its artistic liberties, the spirit of the original characters and plot remain the same, albeit with a snarky bite maybe influenced from an era of MTV and Beavis and Butthead. For what’s now considered a “boom” in anime dubs and license acquisitions during the early 2000s, Ghost Stories took the risk of deviating from the norm and wildly succeeded. Like adapting a book to a movie or album to a musical, anime dubs too were finding their footing into a quickly growing market.

Broadcast Dubs and Donuts

As anime gained more mainstream acceptance (more notably with series like Pokémon and Sailor Moon meant for younger audiences,) this liberal use of colorful language drastically slowed down. However, the question of “how is anime accessible” still remained, resulting in a wide range of localization efforts from different licensors aiming for a demographic sweet spot. While many anime fans remember Brock’s strange description of “donuts” while obviously holding a rice ball, other less blunt localizations prevailed.

Broadcast dubs like Digimon notably changed little content, but made several script changes such as adding jokes and dialogue where there was once silence. While obviously different, these adaptations are still enjoyed as products of their time and lauded for the incredible hard work of the voice actors and script writers involved. These series, syndicated alongside the Americanized version of Super Sentai aka Power Rangers on Fox Kids, exemplify how much localization depends on the audience and the context in which they’re watching it. Digimon: The Movie—a Frankenstein combination of three different Digimon OVAs for theatrical release—even included a meta joke about the Power Rangers for good measure to drive the point home.

"Japanese donuts"

  While not as crude as the pioneering dubs coming from licensors like Manga Entertainment, these 2000s dubbed television anime clearly took a page from their predecessor’s adaptation handbook. This is obviously how we ended up with an extended Big Lebowski reference in the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX English dub. Rather than argue over “subs versus dubs” maybe we should judge our anime dubs by the number of jokes about capitalism.

So Bad It’s Good

Why do dubs like Devilman and Ghost Stories work, versus botched projects like the Warriors of the Wind movie? Anime fandom in the west was far smaller compared to today and it was much more difficult to know if your dub was technically accurate. “Gag dubs” as they’re occasionally called, aren’t so much “bad dubs” as they are a method of adaptation and localization—a challenging task that most translators find difficult on their own without outside help.

  Anime with strong visual cues, like ghosts and demons, can clearly tell a story without much exposition given a surface-level understanding of fiction tropes. This is how we get jokes about politics and Walmart in what was once a kid’s show about solving spooky mysteries. But much more often, the owners of the source material dictate the tone of any adaptations: funny, serious, or in the worst case scenario—losing the original scripts altogether (hello Samurai Pizza Cats).

   “Oh sweet Pipimi, is this really what you wanted?” “OH YAAS QUEEN”

  While most anime might not be fit for a drastically ambitious dub, dubs for recent anime such as Pop Team Epic continue this long tradition of changing the script for better comedic effect. Pop Team Epic throws in a healthy “yaas queen” from Pipimi (Luci Christian) and includes riffs that might’ve not worked in Japanese, but are a perfect fit for its loose and quirky dub. But the English dub stays true to the source material and is also recorded twice with different female and male voice actors.

  A truly purist approach might not always get the best delivery from a voice actor—Japanese grammar structures are almost entirely inverted from English’s and a rough translation can make a smooth dub performance difficult. Simple techniques such as changing the tone of jokes and a line delivery can quickly make a series more approachable. Anime, after all, is for everyone no matter how familiar they are with the genre, Japanese culture, or obscure sentai references only your uncle understands. 

  Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about jelly-filled donuts anymore.

Do you have a favorite anime dub? Let us know in the comments!

  ------

Blake P. is a writer who loves his cat. He likes old mecha anime, computer games, books, and black coffee. His twitter is @_dispossessed. His bylines include Fanbyte, VRV, Unwinnable, and more. His newsletter is Boy Toy Box.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[amcfuckintop-blog]

S&l;dinsel Rundreisen | Book holidays cheaply on e-kolumbus

>At the beginning of the consideration everybody asks himself the question - do we want to visit the North or the South Island? This New Zealand self-drive tour offers you the opportunity to travel cheaply and individually from place to place across the South Island. The intercontinental long-haul flights are not part of the trip but are charged separately at normal, daily rates e.g.

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We stayed for three nights in Nelson, a pretty little town with a very nice environment. We used Nelson as starting point for our day trip to the Abel Tasman National Park.

New Zealand travel guideDay 14 - Christchurch/Kaikoura

After a restful night, the next day you continue north.

Greymouth, the economic centre of the west coast with about 10,000 inhabitants today, experienced its heyday during the New Zealand gold rush in the 1860s.

After you have experienced a lot of beach and sea so far, today there is a completely different side to see on New Zealand's South Island.

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Along the way you will hear stories from the time when European pioneers settled the land, raised cattle, caught whales and ensured their survival through sheer ingenuity. From a distance you will see spoonbills with their curved beaks, herons and cormorants, about which your guide will also tell you exciting stories. But the Maori culture is also an expression of a deep inner knowledge. Alternatively, you can fly to the glacier by helicopter and hike on it. On some days there are also pizza evenings where you can buy pizza till you drop for a small price. From Lake Tekapo we drove on to Wanaka, passing Lake Pukaki and along the Lindis Pass. Read more about campervan hire New Zealand here. Sometimes even breakfast is included in the price. If you travel by bus, hostels are often recommended and you will be dropped off and picked up directly there. This also means that they can be full at peak travel time. Only 16 people per square kilometre live here. Although the Kiwis drive on the other side of the road, travelling with a camper van or motorhome is not difficult and with some routine it is no problem. Hopefully you should be lucky with the weather this time of year, but with New Zealand you never really know what you'll get. Warm clothing is not wrong - not even in "midsummer". On our first trip to NZ we started from Vienna, the second time we were in Asia. Even the fastest connection from Europe to NZ takes almost 24 hours.

[aquickstart]

i was tagged by @nickyklosed in these two games so i’m doing them together ok !!! also tHANK i love these

1. rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs!

a - age: twenty (20) years of age and nobody asked how i feel about that so we just tryina cope

b - birthplace: moscow, russia

c - current time: 10:02pm

d - drink you last had: black tea (duh)

e - easiest person to talk to: idk like my sister and my best friend i Guess 

f - favorite songs: wrong question i obsess over songs for days and then never put them on ever again, but i guess when we’re high by LP and pioneers by bloc party and seven nation army by the white stripes (aye) and wild heart by bleachers and house of gold and chlorine by top and you just cannot ask questions like that. it’s illegal

g - grossest memory: hmm idk maybe that one time someone actually kissed me. that was definitely gross would not recommend

h - horror yes or horror no: nope thanks

i - in love:  nah

j - jealous of people: oh yeah 100% definitely

l - love at first sight or should i walk by again: i can’t say love at first sight doesn’t exist bc it does for some people, but not for me. so the latter.

m - middle name: don’t have one

n - number of siblings: a whole three sisters

o - one wish: i wish they had at least one bottle of yellow hair dye somewhere in toronto right now because my sister’s been to at lest five different stores and so far none of them have it. i am so miserable

p - person you last called: my mom ofc

q - question you’re always asked: how do you like toronto (or canada) so far? and before that i don’t think a lot of people were concerned with me sbdjvbsd

s - song you last sang: fun fact i just lost my voice two days ago so that’s fun, but probably babylon by 5sos or something like that when i was packing in my dorm room

t - time you woke up: 11am #blessed

u - underwear color: dark grey

v - vacation destination: L O N D O N or just england in general but london would be perfect. i miss this city a whole damn lot

x - x-rays: wdym? like last x-rays i had? my chest probably, for my medical exam so they could make me a permanent resident (some fucking day lmao)

y - your favourite food: it’s almost scary how not picky i am actually. food is way down on my list of priorities in terms of taste, like sure i like sushi and pizza and russian food etc but i don’t think i have a favourite.

z - zodiac sign: aquarius

2. rules: put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs

victorious - p!atd

one for the money - escape the fate

whatever you want - p!nk

hurricane - halsey

i don’t know why - imagine dragons

daniel in the den - bastille

surrender - hurts

нимфоманка - монеточка

missing you - all time low

this town - niall horan

i’m tagging @minyxrd-03 @palmettto @minyardxva and also anyone who wants to do this !!!!!