#pink wants to also mention that zombification plays a bigger role in this version of the story
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bloodboonfic · 5 months ago
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So you have done a few bullet point AUs? Curious what would a Bloodboon role swap AU look like (Philza kidnaps Techno at the very start but Techno wants to return to nether)?
Me and Pink had a lot of fun with this one :D
Techno doesn't have anything on par with Philza's kids, so the circumstances need to be different: a full on war between the Nether and the Antarctic empire. Techno is King Ashthorn's top warrior/general. The Nether is loosing the war, and when talking terms of peace, the Antarctic council comes to the grim decision that The Blood God is too dangerous to let live.
Philza, however, has respect for his enemy, and doesn't think someone deserves to be executed just for being on the wrong side of a conflict. He manages to talk his council down to taking Techno as a prisoner of war/hostage.
Ashthorn is stoked to have a scapegoat for everything that went wrong with the war and pins it all on Technoblade, the dishonourable war prize. As a last chance to take advantage of this, he even promises Technoblade an honourable return home, on one condition: successful assassination of the Antarctic royal family.
A grim plan forms. Technoblade must endear himself to emperor Philza and his sons, get their guards down, and strike when it's least expected. It shouldn't be that hard, right? As the emperor's war prize, he'll be expected to serve him in all ways, right?
Philza promptly puts Techno is a palace wing as far away from his own courters as possible and tells him to stay away. Techno is a guest, for all intents and purposes, and he'll be treated with decency and respect, but he is still a dangerous enemy agent who will not be trusted. As the whole situation is quite awkward, Philza would prefer to forget Techno is even here. This is very confusing to Techno, who was under the impression he'd be used as slave labour. Philza is appalled at the very notion. Prisoners of war as slaves, what savagery!
Techno then makes the quick calculation that the fastest way to Philza's good graces is through his sons. Bad news: Philza has forbidden his sons from interacting with Techno is any way, shape, or form. Good news: Tommy doesn't listen very good.
Techno never even attempts an escape. Instead, the large conflict that leads to actual friendship building comes from secretly training Tommy, because that's what the prince wants and Techno needs to befriend him, but then Tommy accidentally injures himself. Philza walks in at just the wrong time, immediately sees red, attacks Techno, and would have killed him if Wilbur hadn't intervened quickly enough. Techno does, however, break a tusk.
Philza, after having the truth explained, feels bad, and invites Techno over for a fancy dinner. Techno is perplexed! He's been eating bread and cheese this whole time, what could be fancier than that!?
Philza also gets Techno an iron prosthetic tusk later, which is really badass from a piglin cultural point of view.
Random assortment of things that could also happen at some point:
Techno half-accidentally breaks into the royal library and has a grand old time. This might be how he meets Tommy in the first place, who was hiding from his dumb boring tutors
Techno discovers reading glasses, significantly improving his quality of life
Not seeing any signs of Techno actually doing his mission, Ashthorn sends more assassins: Witherbrand and Thornwhip. They're lured into defecting by the promise of bread and cheese
The happiest ending, I imagine, would be Philza arming Techno to the teeth with the best armour and weapons the Overworld has, and Techno returning to the Nether to duel Ashthorn and take the throne.
And thus, we come full circle. Technoblade rules the Nether as a wise and just king, with the bonus of excellent trade deals with the Overworld established early on in his reign. Also Techno and Philza can visit whenever they want ^^
-Anchestor
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