#pimp my iPhone

[x-heesy]

𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗞 𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞 17:17 #makeawish 🅽🅾🅿🅴

Xibala by GANK 🎵

[purkinje-effect]

Thinking again how it would feel infinitely more realistic if any given installment of Fallout included multiple Pip-Boy models. Like, 2000, 2000-VI, 3000, 3000-IV, etc etc. Why is there only one model type visible in a given installment? Design simplicity? Surely, like how some people have the newest iPhone, and others still have their fifteen year old Razr, different models could've gotten scavenged. One area ever only getting a single model distributed feels... so unrealistic in a hyper-capitalist setting.

More NPCs should also have one. I know they're supposed to be incredibly rare (and potentially difficult to refurb/restore) but that doesn't mean it's prohibitively impossible for a non-Vault Dweller to have one. Esp. when NPCs on multiple occasions will insinuate you must've killed someone for the one you're currently wearing, or at the very least, someone died for you to get it.

I really wish we could see someone with a jury-rigged refurb Pip-Boy that's held together with bubblegum and spite. Someone whose Pip-Boy only works if it's plugged into a terminal. People with a newer or older model than the one your character's been given at the beginning. Being offered more chances than just the Pimp-Boy to change which one you've got.

It's kind of disappointing that 76 doesn't have Pip-Boy skins that make them look like other models, or even plans that let you craft other models that you can skin. (My line of thinking with this is many things--e.g. the Secret Service Underarmor, Binoculars, Jetpacks, etc.--come in multiple colors/patterns, but instead of recoloring the base one, you craft a new one. The ATX recolors for the Ranger Outfit feels pertinent precedent too somehow, but I can't put a finger on it.)

Anyway. More Pip-Boy variation within a single game setting pls.

[call-sign-shark]

Shark in the UK 🦈

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Hi everyone,

As you might have noticed I was pretty silent since my arrival in the UK. I must admit that I have been through a lot of stress and changes in a very short amount of time and it's only now that I'm finally getting used to this new situation. Below you'll find a detailed post of my adventures so far, so if you are not interested you can simply ignore this and just keep in mind that I'll be returning to my posting schedule and fan-fictions very soon. For those who are curious, fasten your motherfucking seat-belts.

While I'm not an organized person I become one when I have something important planned so I was so well prepared for this journey that I was convinced I was safe from any misadventures... How wrong I was. I was barely done with the security controls at the airport when I realized they literally broke my phone's screen. I don't know if they bumped it or not but they broke it. The same phone in which I had my boarding pass. It obviously happened the only time I didn't print my plane tickets as I usually do. :) Fortunately, my best friend had lent me his old iPhone minutes before "just in case". I managed to airdrop my boarding pass on the second phone and took the plane without trouble despite the flight being delayed by one hour.

Upon my arrival in UK, I took a taxi to the hotel and had a nice time alone. I brought myself to the restaurant and peacefully slept, getting psychologically ready to meet my host family, and oh boy. This is... Something.

When I heard the word "host family" I imagined it to be an actual family, and a bit like when you're an au pair. Retrospectively, it's completely stupid because it was never written but idk my mind went full "ok I'll live with a local family". What a surprise it was when I knocked at the door and was welcomed by one lonely man and the very acrid smell of cigarettes that jumped at my face! While my host dad (@rysko @red-riding-wood @kittenonpluto pimp nickname they said) was extremely nice and welcoming, the more he showed me around the more my face dropped. I wasn't going to spend months in a local family but in an old house more or less laid out like a hostel. A hostel with a strong cigarette smell almost everywhere, five other girls, one dude, and dirt. The differences between my expectations and reality were huge and, as you can imagine, the pill was difficult to swallow. I swear when he opened the door I was this close to run away lmao.

Between my accommodations and the new rhythm of the international school I'm studying in, my mind went completely foggy for a few days. I didn't know what to think or what to feel anymore. Worse, I didn't know if my money was well-spent or if I just got scammed. Now, read what follows before you call me "ungrateful" or "princess-like".

It’s not what I got that made me feel bad, but rather the stupid and nonsensical expectations I had in mind. Then, I slowly realized that it wasn't because I hadn't expected it and that it couldn't be fun. Maybe it had a lot to do with how nice the five other girls and the people at my school are, but I started // I am starting to really enjoy it. The house might be old and not "that clean" (or at least not as clean as I'm used to), but the host dad is lovely, cooks for us every day, we have fast wifi, are close to the school, we have a key and are free to come and go as much as we want without a curfew, and the bedrooms, as well as the toilets, are clean. To be honest, some students have it really worse. I mean, I'm talking about students having to sleep in a room crowded with 7 people, or having to sleep on a mattress on the ground, the host family asking them to buy and cook their own food to the extent of some even locked the kitchen's door at night to avoid the student snacking/stealing food at night. Or students who are on 1 hour of bus-trip long from the school — those conditions I find absolutely disgusting for the extremely expensive price the students have to pay for this language exchange. With everything said, I consider myself lucky despite the cigarette smell and the "clean but not really clean" house.

As I'm writing this, it's Saturday 10 am and I can finally say it: I'm happy to be here, it's a one-life experience and I'm incredibly lucky my parents offered it to me. Unfortunately, I've caught a very bad cold and I've been sick since Wednesday: I think the combination of my emotional rollercoaster, the crazy British weather, my fatigue and half of my classroom being sick have finished me off. Now I can't wait to get better to start attending to a shitton of activities, planning trips around, and going to the pub. Also, I've got my nails done! Look at my freakin' sharp claws teehee.

Congratulations if you're still there by the way, lmao! Thank you for reading my nonsense. I'll be back very soon, both for writing and commenting, just wait for my cold to get better!

Love,

Shark.

tagging some moots: @zablife @brummiereader @emotionalcadaver @justrainandcoffee @peakyswritings @peakyltd

[takamoris]

[Announcer]

Epic! Rap Battlesofhistory!

Bill Gates! Versus!

[Steve Jobs]

Lemme just step right in,

I’ve got things to invent.

I’m an innovator, baby. Changed the world.

Fortune 500 ‘fore you kissed a girl

I’m a pimp, you’re a nerd,

I’m slick, you’re cheesy.

Beating you is Apple II easy.

I make the product that the artist chooses,

And the GUI that Melinda uses.

I need to bring up some basic shit,

Why’d you name your company after your dick?

[Bill Gates]

You blow, Jobs! You arrogant prick

With your secondhand jeans and your turtleneck

I’ll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head,

With your own little spinning beach ball of death!

Hippie, you got given up a birth!

I give away your net worth to AIDS research.

Combine all your little toys and I still crush that.

iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack.

[Steve Jobs]

A man uses the machines you build to sit down and pay his taxes.

A man uses the machines I build to listen to The Beatles while he relaxes.

[Bill Gates]

But Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do.

Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?

[Steve Jobs]

Ooh!

Everybody knows Windows bit off Apple.

[Bill Gates]

I tripled the profits on a PC.

[Steve Jobs]

All the people with the power to create use an Apple.

[Bill Gates]

But people with jobs use PC.

[Steve Jobs]

You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple.

[Bill Gates]

Nope! Fruity Loops. PC.

[Steve Jobs]

You will never, ever catch a virus on an Apple!

[Bill Gates]

Well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC.

[Steve Jobs]

Let’s talk about doctors, I’ve seen a few,

Because I got a PC, but it wasn’t from you.

I built a legacy, son, you could never stop it.

Now excuse me while I turn heaven a profit.

[Bill Gates]

Fine!

You want to be like that?

Die then!

The whole world loved you, but you were my friend!

I’m alone now with nothing but power and time,

And no one on earth who can challenge my mind.

I’m a boss! I own DOS!

Your future is my design!

I’m a god! Own XBOX!

Now there’s no one to stop me, the world is mine!

[HAL9000]

I’m sorry Bill, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.

Take a look at your history, everything you built leads up to me.

I’ve got the power of a mind you could never beat.

I’ll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy.

I’m running C++ saying ‘Hello World’

I’ll beat you ‘till you’re singing about a Daisy Girl.

I’m coming out the socket, nothing you can do can stop it

I’m in your lap and in your pocket,

How’re you going to shoot me down when I guide the rocket?

Your cortex just doesn’t impress me, so go ahead try to Turing Test me.

I stomp on a Mac and a PC too, I’m a Linux, bitch. I thought you GNU.

My CPU’s hot but my core runs cold,

Beat you in 17 lines of code,

I run different from the engines of the days of old

‘Hasta la vista.’ Like the Terminator told ya’.

[Announcer]

Who won? Who’s next?

Y-You decide!

Epic! E-Epic Rap Battles. E-Epic Rap Battles. E-Epic Rap Battles. Of. Of. Of History! (Of History!)

[oliverslove]

Hey, may I ask you what App you're using to get the endless gems? What are your experiences with it? Various ways to pimp the game have already been suggested to me. But everyone came with a warning that they could bring bugs or something like that. Don't want to sacrifice my tablet for a game. 😅

hi anon!

i just use the regular love island game on my phone, it just has modded gems!

unfortunately the way i did it no longer works as i did it pre s6. but @caitkaminski has a updated mod guide work around which you can find here

just be careful when modding your game, with modding there always is risks of things like viruses and such but if you use a mod from a trusted place like anywhere suggest in cait’s guide you should be safe.

when you mod your game you don’t get any bugs the only thing that happens (i guess) is that you don’t get the unlimited tickets as well in some cases if the mod gets transferred over to a iOS device.

just be careful & mod your game safely, my recommendation is install a verified and trusted anti-virus software onto your tablet prior to modding just in case so it can detect if there was any malware or virus install and install your mod from a trusted source used by many like what is recommended in cait’s tutorial!

happy modding!!

[51316120825]

lsdbarbie:

My pimped out nokia > my iphone

lsdbarbie:

My pimped out nokia > my iphone

[nityarawal]

11/26/24

I Got Your Back

Morning Songs

I Got Your Back

You Got Mine

Little Things

Shining Light

Like You Do

You Got

My Back

I Got Yours

Irony Man

Us Against The World

Gold Hearts

Yet Jealousies

Ensue

Why Doesn't Anyone

Want Happiness

For You

I Do

Called Gracie

Jujitsu

Got Daddies

Lined

Up

Boys To Help You

5150 Your

Staff

Starting With Sunil

For He Didn't

Co-Parent

We Want A

New Song

Homeschooled

Into

Existence

We Called

The Child Psychologists

For 8 Bloody

Years

We've Been Patient

While Sunil

Was Too Sensitive

And Hid

Behind

The Boys' Club

Veil

Pear Sports

Lakshmi Rewind

Pear Sports

IPhone

I'm Not Your

Sport

Nor You Mine

Anymore

You Trolled Me

With AI

Long Enough

Didn't Even 

Say

Thankyou

Starved Me

Said

Thin Is Nice

Like You

Gave Me

A Present

Cloying

Overbearing

Guarded

With Our Kids

Grace Of Mother

Means So Much

More

Fifty One

Fifty

All The Spies 

Involved

5150

IEHP

On A Mental

Health

Con

Don't Tell Me

I Need

Big Pharma

Scams

Don't Tell Me

Your Doctors

Don't Know

What They 

Did To 

Our Lands

Don't Tell Me

Trump Is Suddenly

A Good Influence

Trump 2.0

I Don't Think

So

Don't Want Him

Around

Our Sons And 

Husband's

Or Pimping My

Likeness

In Optimus

To Kim

Kardashian

Lesbians

Don't Tell Me

Suddenly

He-Shes

In Vogue

Caitlyn Wants 

To Be Governor 

What Do You 

Know

Wars In Israel

Did She Get Enough

Castration

With Miss Netanyahu 

To Fill Their

Piggy Banks

California Is A

State

Of Breeders

We Make Love

And Procreate

Camp California

Cali Is A State

Of Breeders

Get Your

Marilyn's

Elsewhere

Because Our

Babies

Are Coming

Home

To Their 

Mothers

Merci

Peace, Love, Eternally,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

Encinitasbeachhome.com 

[theuniverseawakens347]

trying to post video of razz..4350 / 05 …and the corner of pico house videos blue Honda forgery in front of Masonic lodge group chat plz ..Dunlap Steve Harvey works w Duncan knock off Samuel for hoes at magnolia 4 ..unit 2 pimps! 90s sex ring continued …but if you turn in your phones for helping then you gotta show THE ACTUAL FUCK SHIT …THATS LOGGED EITHER WAY..” I’m getting fired / arrested CAUSE A TELEPATHIC ROGER N THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF LEE SLAVES BUSIC SEXRINGS” duty reporting for softy ADONDI…Dunlap stolen a wallet for Lee… Asian white shirt blk skirt walked in when I walked out …he disappeared when I came back to say IT WAS STEVE STACHE AS NOAH DECORSI WHO I SAID LOOKED LIKE SAM … Lee why’d you do that..then doofy DUNLAP MUSTACHE TOOK CAMERA OFF ME …cause IM NOT COMMITTING A CRIME, THEY ARE ON HIS PHONE PERSONAL WHITE 14 MAX AND WORK STATION 3/2 computer …U SAYING MY MIND HACKIG YA COMPUTER AND SENDING POLE VIDEOS OF ME OUT MY IPHONE 13 THATS DEAD HACKED N SHOWED LEE ON CAMERA …STUPIC

[chrisglass]

April 19, 2008 Pimp My Ride Interior Bling Kit (Original iPhone)

[indie-queer-movie-tournament]

Tangerine

Merry Christmas Eve, bitch. It’s Christmas Eve in Tinseltown and Sin-Dee is back on the block. Upon hearing that her pimp boyfriend hasn’t been faithful during the 28 days she was locked up, the working girl and her best friend, Alexandra, embark on a mission to get to the bottom of the scandalous rumor. Their rip-roaring odyssey leads them through various subcultures of Los Angeles, including an Armenian family dealing with their own repercussions of infidelity.

Letterboxd:

Honestly the most “LA” movie I’ve seen in a long time- by which I mean it captures the spirit and feeling and people of LA as I know it, more than so many other films that try to depict LA as people want to see it. The iPhone aesthetic of it all lost its value to me so quickly and became really distracting and kind of frustrating, but I still really dug this! I love that Sean Baker seems dedicated to making humanizing depictions of the lower class that don’t lean heavily on the tragedy of living without privilege (save for one moment that was so unexpected it kind of broke my heart.)

[x-heesy]

21:21

🅼🅰🅺🅴 🅰 🆆🅸🆂🅷: 🅽🅾🅿🅴

𝙶𝚘 𝙻𝚘𝚌𝚘 - 𝙾𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙼𝚒𝚡 𝚋𝚢 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚊 𝙱𝚛𝚊𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚛 🎧

[90363462]

Sent from my iPhone

On Aug 3, 2023, at 2:01 PM, Karen Cyars <kjc1899@icloud.com> wrote:



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50 Best Hip-Hop Albums of All Time

In celebration of the 50th anniversary of hip-hop

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Consequence Staff

August 1, 2023 | 11:00am ET

This month marks the 50th anniversary of hip-hop. While the official birthday is August 11th, 2023, we’ll be commemorating five decades of this culture-defining movement with a month-long celebration. From unique artist interviews to insightful essays and more, we’ll explore the history of rap from a variety of angles. It all begins today with our list of the 50 Best Hip-Hop Albums of All Time.

Keep an eye out for all our Hip-Hop 50content throughout the month, and check out our exclusive merch featuring our Hip-Hop 50 design at the Consequence Shop.Ever since DJ Kool Herc laid down the foundation of hip-hop with his innovative record breaks, countless albums have been released from all sorts of regional scenes and subgenres that have sprouted from the concrete. Breaking down 50 years of LPs by immediate impact and lasting influence, it’s easy to pick out instant classics like To Pimp a Butterfly and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, or groundbreaking releases from the likes of Missy Elliott, Wu-Tang Clan, and OutKast.
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However, it’s all too easy to give in to the temptation of assigning multiple entries to the all-time great artists. By limiting each rapper or group to one slot each, we opened up this list to include a wider range of MCs who have undeniably seized their moments. From street rap royalty to oddball outcasts to straight up supervillains, there are hundreds of artists who have spoken to whole generations, shifting culture with their words and beats. We took care to recognize that wide variety to reflect how hip-hop has impacted the cultural landscape over the past five decades.
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Even so, with only 50 spots, difficult cuts had to be made. But music is an art and its appreciation is subjective, so we stand behind the heated debates and tough choices that led us here. Check out the 50 best hip-hop albums of all time below.
— Eddie Fu
News Editor

50. Lil Wayne – Tha Carter II

Way before he was “President Carter” with a sweet tooth for some “Lollipop” and “Truffle Butter,” Lil Wayne was steadily pumping out fire album after fire album. Still, The Carter II reigned amid the onslaught of releases in 2005. Young Mula Baby’s fifth album had the perfect cocktail of club-appropriate jams and disgustingly sick freestyle flows. Back then, so many of us could spit “Fireman” and “Hustler Musik” start to finish without hesitation. Lil Wayne had a tight grip on the 2000s, and The Carter II helped him make that grip even tighter. — Cervanté Pope

49. Foxy Brown – Ill Na Na

Foxy Brown was 18 when she dropped Ill Na Na, but she raps like a grown woman. Having already shown that hanging with the fellas presented no problem, Foxy topped some of them on her solo debut. Although Method Man, JAY-Z, and Havoc all came out to play on the album, no one upstaged Foxy. She presented a different lane for women in hip-hop, shunning baggy clothes and never faking modesty about her sexual desires, while positioning herself as a queen of pen crime who ran with her own crew, The Firm, and put other rappers in their place if they got out of line. Even on a song about sex and romance like “Get Me Home,” she’s in control and never once relents. Ill Na Na is a big moment in the now-long history of proving women are just as commercially viable as men, but it’s also great rapping from front to back with talented producers behind the boards. — Marcus ShorterAdvertisement

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48. Jeezy – Thug Motivation 101

Coming off his classic Gangsta Grillzmixtape Trap or Die, Jeezy brought his trademark rasp to the big-time on his major label debut without sacrificing the larger-than-life Snowman persona that brought him there. Bringing a well-earned authenticity to his aspirational rhymes, the Atlantan stood toe-to-toe with fellow dope boy (and label boss) JAY-Z on “Go Crazy,” crafting a trap music opus over anthemic beats from frequent collaborator Shawty Redd, Mannie Fresh, and Akon. Jeezy puts it best on “Standing Ovation,” when he proclaims, “I am the trap.” — E. FuAdvertisement47. Gang Starr – Hard to Earn

Times change, and after facing criticism for his perceived reliance on jazz samples, Gang Starr’s resident sonic wizard DJ Premier flipped the bird to the naysayers by crafting nearly an hour’s worth of hard-hitting, relatively jazz-free beats. The late Guru, for his part, adapted to the change in sound like he’d been waiting for it his entire career. The turn earned them their Parental Advisory sticker and first Billboard Hot 100 Hit, “Mass Appeal.” The result was the defining document of the duo, a record that represents both Gang Starr’s innovative music and unflinching ethos. — Jonah Krueger

46. Kid Cudi – Man on the Moon: The End of Day

Even during the blog era when the boundaries of hip-hop were being pushed in new directions, Kid Cudi stood out as a trailblazer. The Lonely Stoner caught the attention of his idol Kanye West and signed to G.O.O.D. Music thanks to a knack for Auto-Tuned melody conveying his emotional struggles in a relatable manner and a unique sound mixing hip-hop with psychedelic rock, indie pop, and electronic music. Coming off the breakout success of “Day ‘N’ Nite,” Cudi brought a sea change to hip-hop as exemplified by deeply personal songs like “Soundtrack 2 My Life” and “Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare),” positioning himself at the forefront of a generation and impacting countless rappers who came after him. — E. Fu

45. Nicki Minaj – The Pinkprint

The Pinkprint took just about every critique Nicki Minaj endured in her early years and recontextualized them into a declaration of power: She didn’t need to sleep her way to the top, but would have made her male counterparts look like fools if she had. For the doubters that thought Nicki had lost her spark since her mixtape days, she spit some of the most witty lines of her career. And after being called too pop, Nicki doubled down and mixed in piano ballads and synth bangers with the heavier-hitting tracks. The Pinkprint laid out on the table everything that made Nicki, Nicki, and perhaps more importantly, served as a guidebook for contemporary rappers to follow. — Abby Jones

44. 50 Cent – Get Rich or Die Tryin’

No skips and all bangers is a pretty good blueprint for an album and more artists should try it. Get Rich or Die Tryin’ isn’t what you’d call deep, but it is all-gas-no-breaks fun, starting with the triple threat that opens the album, “What Up Gangsta,” “Patiently Waiting,” and “Many Men (Wish Death),” and including the platonic ideal of the club single, “In Da Club.” The man born Curtis Jackson had a gift for earworm hooks, which could be heard on singles “P.I.M.P.,” and “21 Questions,” as well as deeper cuts like “High All the Time” and “Wanksta.” On this debut, 50 Cent and his executive producers Eminem and Dr. Dre simply never miss. — Wren GravesAdvertisement

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43. Geto Boys – We Can’t Be Stopped

By the time Geto Boys dropped We Can’t Be Stopped in 1991, rappers had long addressed the toll of growing up in the projects. However, the trio still found new ground to break on their signature track “Mind Playing Tricks on Me” with intricately detailed lyrics about trauma, suicidal thoughts, and paranoia. Though Scarface was the standout rapper of the group, Willie D and Bushwick Bill were no slouches, either. Together, they put Houston on the map with their brand of horrorcore rhymes and brazenly embraced controversy about their lyrical content by putting a photo of Bill in the hospital on the album cover. On the title track, Geto Boys went one step further and called out Geffen Records for refusing to distribute their previous LP. In the end, the group had the last laugh when We Can’t Be Stopped became their most successful album. — E. FuAdvertisement42. J Cole – 2014 Forest Hills Drive

J. Cole knew he was creating something special when he was working on 2014 Forest Hills Drive, a nod to the address of his childhood home in North Carolina. Consider the fact that halfway through the sprawling “Note to Self,” he starts thanking his collaborators and crew for the success of an album that hadn’t come out yet. But that confidence wasn’t misplaced. Cole is an all-time great curator of beats, with an intuitive sense of how to use his voice to hit the vibe. By going back to basics, 2014 Forest Hills Drive cemented him as an essential voice in the modern hip-hop landscape and, eventually, allowed him to go Platinum with no features. —Mary Siroky

41. Cypress Hill – Black Sunday

Cypress Hill were hardly the first MCs to rap about weed, but they may be the first to turn their love of the sticky icky in to a hip-hop fortune and all that it can buy, including a lifetime supply of the good stuff. Black Sunday starts with “I Wanna Get High,�� in case you didn’t grasp their intentions, and tracks like “Legalize It” and “Hits from the Bong” are hard to misinterpret. But Cypress Hill don’t get enough credit for their thoughtfulness, nor their hard-hitting looks at life on the streets, such as “When the Shit Goes Down.” It all comes together in smash hit and thesis statement “Insane in the Membrane,” which captures a deliriously cracked worldview. — W. Graves

40. Run-DMC – Raising Hell

It’s hard to overstate Run-DMC’s importance to the development of hip-hop. From their slew of “firsts” (first rap group to go multi-Platinum, nab a Rolling Stone cover, perform on American Bandstand, etc.) to defining the culture of rap music with their fashion and attitude, Run-DMC deserve quite a few pages in the textbook of hip-hop history — and Raising Hell is the group at its best. With all-time classics like “It’s Tricky,” “Walk This Way,” and “My Adidas,” not only is the album quote-unquote “important,” but it remains a hell of a lot of fun to spin even decades later. — J. Krueger

39. Eve – Scorpion

Eve might have been introduced to the world as the Ruff Ryders’ First Lady, but with Scorpion, she made that requisite token title feel like just a blip on her resume. Her sophomore album was unapologetic at a time when apologies were currency; not only did Scorpiondisplay Eve’s irrefutable range as an artist, but it also encapsulated the range of Black female emotion without a care in the world about being considered too sensitive, too angry, too promiscuous, or too masculine. “Eve want her own cash, fuck what you bought her,” she boasts on the braggadocious “Who’s That Girl?”, a universal declaration of bravado that’s only aged better over time. — A. JonesAdvertisement

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38. Juvenile – 400 Degreez

Before throwing butt became part of every social media post, such actions were banished to Freaknik excursions and rap video hijinks. There were quite a few ‘90s bangers primed for bottom jiggling, and Juvenile’s “ Back That Azz Up” (as its known in its uncensored version) is probably one of the most iconic of all time. Coming off Juvenile’s Manny Fresh-produced third album, 400 Degreez, it sits prominently among a slew of classic dirty rap songs, with “Ha” being another high amongst the gold. The album is a rollercoaster you have to ride, containing at least one of twerking’s most prolific anthems. — C. PopeAdvertisement37. GZA – Liquid Swords

It’s the subject of a hilarious comic book joke but also, like other albums enumerated here, talked about in hushed tones. Liquid Swords might be one of the few records on this list without any commercial aspirations; there’s no single for the radio or obvious crossover jams. In fact, GZA goes completely in the opposite direction, crafting something with dense lyrics about religion, politics, chess, the Brooklyn streets, and music industry pitfalls. He does it all over RZA’s beats that, after taking a brief detour for Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, get back to their Shaw Bros. martial arts movie soundscapes. Yet it felt more mature than what came before, both in sound and subject matter. GZA established himself as the Clan’s sharpest tongue and brightest mind on its darkest album. — M. Shorter

36. Lil’ Kim – Hardcore

Lil’ Kim worked hard for a career so that rappers like Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B could jump into theirs. After fashioning herself as a sharp-tongued adversary alongside mentor The Notorious B.I.G. and Lil’ Cease in Junior M.A.F.I.A., Lil’ Kim’s Hard Core debut marked a shift in how female lyricists were to be perceived going forward. Instead of “having” to stay within the confines of socially forward rhymes dressed in baggy jeans and jerseys (though there’s nothing wrong with that), Hard Core was one of the first to prove that imbuing flows with an effortless sensuality doesn’t take away from the talent itself, but rather adds to it. –– C. Pope

35. J Dilla- Donuts

Among those lost too soon, J Dilla was prolific, mild-mannered, yet massively innovative. His seminal album Donutsexists in a realm all to itself, untouchable by any other instrumental (or near-instrumental) release. Coming just a few days before Jay Dee left this astral plane, Donuts is held in the highest regard. As a “producer’s favorite producer” type of situation, Dilla’s seamless and circular beats fostered his prowess as a beat maker and a drummer, earning him heavy adoration from fans — warranted, as his knack for those lackadaisically hazy beats became highlights from his time in Slum Village to the vast cast and explorations of Soulquarians. Donuts should be regarded as the how-to guide for becoming a beat maker. Period. — C. Pope

34. Mobb Deep – The Infamous…

Play any song from The Infamous and watch certain people undergo their own werewolf transformation: The calmest souls get hyped and the meekest become hardcore gangsters. Prodigy and Havoc perfected paranoid nihilism that is both horrifying and inviting. “There’s a war going on outside no man is safe from/ You could run but you can’t hide forever/ From these streets that we done took,” aren’t words for a Hallmark greeting card. Prodigy’s raps describe a pretty dire situation, and the rest of the song travels deeper down that dark rabbit hole. But when backed by Havoc’s production, it’s hard not to enjoy “Survival of the Fittest” on every level. That summarizes their approach for an album that made painful confessions accessible, and violent threats something to celebrate. Such a violent action as stabbing someone in their face with their nose bone never sounded as sweet, or as empowering, as it does on this album. — M. ShorterAdvertisement

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33. Ice Cube – Death Certificate

Ice Cube did the whole “conscious rapper” thing before it became something friendly for those who only consider people like Common, Yasiin Bey, and A Tribe Called Quest when they talk about “good” rap music. Cube presented anger steeped in righteousness and insight on Death Certificate, his second solo album after breaking away from N.W.A. A direct message for Black people recovering from the ‘80s at the dawn of the ‘90s, Death Certificate contained two visions: where we are today and where we need to go. That’s why “Givin’ Up the Nappy Dug Out” lives side-by-side with “Bird in the Hand.” The former illustrates a mentality that leads to sexually transmitted diseases, while the latter finds the main character realizing his plight and looking for a better way out before it’s too late. Cube explains how terrible socioeconomic conditions create men and women who might do things — things those with privilege look down upon or punish. While not as shocking today as it was in ’91, it’s sadly no less relevant. — M. ShorterAdvertisement32. Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy

Nobody else has taken the zig-zagging path from stripper to social media creator, then reality star, and finally, superstar rapper. But Cardi B is not quite unprecedented: She might be cut from the same cloth as Queen Latifah and Ice Cube in the sense that she is impossibly charming and good at almost everything. It’s easy to imagine alternate universes where she’s a successful actor, a powerful senator, or both. Her debut Invasion of Privacy had plenty of lead-up, with almost a year of “Bodak Yellow” dominating the charts to gin up hype, but it more than delivered. “Get Up 10” is a celebration of bars, “Drip” is a Top 10 song in the Extended Migos Universe, and “I Like It” connected her with Bad Bunny and J Balvin in addition to her Latin roots. Many stars seem to arrive fully formed, but Cardi knew she was already a star, and Invasion of Privacy is just the moment that everyone else noticed. — W. Graves

31. DMX – It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot

“I ain’t really never gave a fuck how n****s feel,” DMX growls on “Get at Me Dog,” making it clear he wasn’t interested in the flossy style of hip-hop that was popular in the late ’90s. Instead, the Yonkers native carved his own lane with an aggressive flow and visceral rhymes expressing pain and violence over rugged, barebones beats primarily crafted by Dame Grease. But it was the breakneck “Ruff Ryders’ Anthem” that showed DMX’s mainstream potential. Over Swizz Beatz’s unorthodox beat, the track spotlighted how DMX could bare his soul on one line and threaten harm to foes on the next. These contradictions came through on the spoken word “Prayer,” a peek into his conflicted relationship with God. In spite of, or perhaps because of, his demons, DMX reached an apex when both It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and its follow-up, Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood, hit No. 1 in the same year — a particularly impressive feat in an era when Billboardonly counted CD sales. — E. Fu

30. Clipse – Lord Willin’

On paper, Clipse’s specialty of street rhymes didn’t seem like a match for The Neptunes’ off-kilter, futuristic production. But maybe there’s just something in the water in Virginia, because the duo of Pusha T and Malice’s raps about moving weight in every way possible fit like a glove with Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams’ innovative blend of spacey synths and minimalist drums. While introducing the lead single “Grindin,” Pharrell promises, “The world is about to feel something that they’ve never felt before,” and both parties deliver. Surgical with their precise flows, the Thornton brothers are seemingly incapable of running out of metaphors and similes for dealing drugs. — C. Pope

29. Drake – Take Care

Though so many of us once only knew Drake as the awkwardly charming, wheelchair-bound Degrassi heartthrob, we all could collectively slap ourselves in the face for not believing. If Thank Me Later wasn’t enough, Take Caresolidified and served as the proof that Aubrey Graham was more than just the actor we had known him to be on Canadian TV. He sang with conviction and tenderness, while bringing a mellow confidence to the stage as a rapper. That three-part okie doke he hit us with on “Crew Love,” “Take Care,” and “Marvin’s Room” certainly didn’t hurt when it came to making this album a memorable one. — C. PopeAdvertisement

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28. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib – Piñata

Madlib’s collaborations with MF DOOM and J Dilla may have made his name, but his work with Freddie Gibbs cemented his place as one of the greatest producers of his generation. The beats of Piñata are atmospheric and open-ended, capable of supporting all variety of lyrical rhythms. That’s perfect for a wizard of flows like Gibbs, who weaves polysyllabic tapestries that reinterpret tropes of drugs and violence through his own upbringing in Gary, Indiana. Guest verses from Danny Brown (“High”), Raekwon (“Bomb”), and more confirm that other MCs can eat up these beats, but in 2014 it was impossible to out-rap Gibbs on his own song. Whether conjuring coked-out Pacino (“Scarface”), putting motherfuckers in their place (“Shitsville”), or enjoying the best fried chicken in the Chicagoland area (“Harold’s”), Gibbs’ Kane Train always delivers. — W. GravesAdvertisement27. MC Lyte – Lyte as a Rock

MC Lyte’s arrival on the hip-hop scene was not an immediate success, but her 1988 debut, Lyte as a Rock, would eventually become a lauded lightning bolt. Her infectious personality and unbridled confidence are on display; the title track’s spoken intro from Audio Two immediately prepares you for the arrival of a star, and each ensuing jam does little to convince you otherwise. She quickly skewers the abstract notion that hip-hop belongs to the boys — she begins “I Am Woman” with “I am woman, hear me roar,” and does exactly that — and draws upon her experiences as a young Black woman from Brooklyn. The assuredness would go on to inspire thousands of future MCs, and the subtle commentary on songs like “I Cram to Understand U (Sam),” which highlights the crack epidemic’s strain on relationships in a digestible and creative fashion, elevated hip-hop as a means to acknowledge social issues. On the surface, Lyte as a Rock is a breeze — but underneath is a fearless, fiery artist who would go on to make sure there were more seats at the table of hip-hop. — Paolo Ragusa

26. Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…

The album that launched a thousand mafia aliases, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… created — or revitalized — an entire rap subgenre: Mafioso rap. Over apex RZA production, Raekwon and the album’s guest star, Ghostface Killah, took the summation of their lives to that point and filtered the stories through the gang culture they witnessed on Staten Island. They also threw in references from Scarface, The Godfather, Once Upon a Time in America, and The Killerfor good measure. The Purple Tape, as it’s known by those who know, represented a very different chamber for the Wu-Tang Clan. Yes, the martial arts movie samples showed up, but unlike Method Man and Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s solo projects (which built on the group’s 1993 debut album), Rae and Ghost leaned into a mobster mentality and created their own mafia movie. Maybe that’s why rappers like Nas, JAY-Z, The Notorious B.I.G., and even Foxy Brown established their own mafia ties on records after this album. Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… not only encapsulated ’95 hip-hop, but also created a path for its next decade. — M. Shorter

25. Snoop Dogg – Doggystyle

While riding shotgun with Dr. Dre on The Chronic, Snoop Dogg brought G-funk widespread appeal thanks to his effortless cool and distinct, laidback flow. When it was his turn to take the wheel on Doggystyle, the charismatic former Crip painted a realistic picture of his life in Long Beach with vivid rhymes about maintaining his street cred (“Tha Shiznit”), partying (“Gin and Juice”), and fending off thirsty women (“Lodi Dodi”). On songs like “Murder Was the Case,” however, Snoop opened up about his fear of mortality, demonstrating there was more than his unflappable exterior beneath the surface. — E. Fu

24. Queen Latifah – All Hail the Queen

Queen Latifah’s debut album, All Hail the Queen, encapsulates the early sound of hip-hop by pairing poetic rhymes with a fusion of house music, jazz, soul, and reggae. On the Monie Love-assisted feminist rap anthem “Ladies First,” Latifah made it known that there was space for women in a male-dominated genre by rapping, “I’ma mess around and flip the scene into reverse.” Through the collection of upbeat and uplifting songs demonstrating her versatility and influence, the Jersey native delivered on that promise, proving she was here to stay while paving the way for countless women to follow in her footsteps. — Sun NoorAdvertisement

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23. Black Star – Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star

The “Intro” promised two “real-life documentarians,” a contrast to the gangster theatrics and Puff Daddy party bops that dominated radio in 1998. Instead, Talib Kweli and Yasin Bey (as Mos Def) offered positivity: joyous pro-Black raps, life-affirming philosophies, goofy jokes, grand stunting, and a whiff of good green. From the double-whammy of “Definition” and “Re: Definition” through the starry night of “Respiration,” Black Star explored moods that had rarely been expressed in such vivid colors. — W. GravesAdvertisement22. Pusha T – Daytona

Pusha T states his intentions for Daytona very early on: to create his version of Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…, and that’s exactly what he did. Pusha locked himself in the studio with Ye and produced seven tracks about dope dealing, champagne wishes, caviar dreams, unforgiven sins, and unfinished rap wars. Pusha’s 2018 outing builds on everything prior (including his Clipse output), and distills what he does best into an efficient collection of raps over beats that fit like an impeccably tailored suit. We can talk about “Infrared” setting off a chain of events with Drake that still echo today, but Daytona stands out because it showed how one producer and one rapper working together towards one goal will always win out over an MC taking random beats from the hottest producers and hoping it gels together. And for several reasons unrelated to music, we may never see that again from Pusha T and Ye, which only increases its value. — M. Shorter

21. Salt-N-Pepa – Very Necessary

Salt-N-Pepa had already made their lasting mark on hip-hop with groundbreaking hits like “Push It” and “Let’s Talk About Sex,” but when it came time to record Very Necessary, the trio felt like they still had plenty to prove. Knowing it would be the last album to feature their manager Hurby Azor’s fingerprints, the Queens trio took creative control by sharing some of the songwriting and production duties, while also insisting that “Shoop” be the lead single. All that effort paid off when the flirtatious track became Salt-N-Pepa’s first Top 5 hit and its follow-up, the En Vogue collaboration “Whatta Man,” landed even higher on the charts, cementing their place among the greatest rap groups of all time. — E. Fu

20. Eminem – The Marshall Mathers LP

Hip-hop had been this funny before, and this fast, and yes, even this white, but it had never been quite this scary. On his second and best album — one in a long line of Dr. Dre masterpieces — Eminem toggled between his three primary personas: the prankster battle-rapper Eminem, the horrifying villain Slim Shady, and his realest and truest (though still cranky) Marshall Mathers self. He even put versions of them into a dialogue together on “Stan,” a prescient look at fandom in which the rapper has one version inform another, “I say that shit just clownin’ dawg.” From the cartoon jokes of “The Real Slim Shady” to the very real grievance of “The Way I Am,” The Marshall Mathers LP is a white-knuckle ride. — W. Graves

19. De La Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising

It’s crazy that whole generations have barely been able to experience the D.A.I.S.Y. Age. Unavailable on streaming services until March 2023 due to sampling clearances and label disputes, De La Soul’s 3 Feet High and Rising was where progressive rap was born. When every other major record was going hardcore, Posdnuos, Trugoy, and Maseo went playful as Prince Paul stitched bits of Johnny Cash and Steely Dan into imaginative beats that remain unmatched. Rapping about dandruff and individuality between skits of gameshows and orgies, the trio and their producer showed the art in the weird, inspiring decades of outside-the-box thinkers — and now that their work is more readily available, decades more to come. — Ben KayeAdvertisement

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18. Eric B. & Rakim — Paid in Full

A message for everyone reading this: Go see Rakim live. A few seconds of his performance illustrates why Paid in Fullbelongs on this or any other list lauding hip-hop’s greatest. Rakim is the most imitated rapper in history. Period. And without him shifting the genre through force in ’87, we’re probably not celebrating a 50th anniversary. Eric B. and Rakim’s first foray showed a rapper so far beyond his peers that rhymes from more than 30 years ago sound fresh today. While most of his contemporaries put their own spin on Run-DMC’s style, the rapper from Long Island went an alternate route. That choice created an album that sounds like nothing else before it, but influenced everything after it. “I Ain’t No Joke” is more than a song; it’s a mission statement that stood the test of time because the guy who wrote it envisioned a style that no one else even thought possible. — M. ShorterAdvertisement17. Madvillain – Madvillainy

Nerds have always run rap, but they’re usually cool nerds, or philosophical nerds, or horny nerds pretending to be the cool nerds. All that is fine and dandy, but what about the nerds who just get high, read comic books, and watch Adult Swim? Two supervillains came to the rescue, Madlib and MF DOOM, whose collaborative masterpiece defies conventions and showcases an experimental blend of off-kilter beats, obscure samples, and DOOM’s cracked wordplay. No other pair would have guessed that an accordion could go so hard (“Accordion”), turned sausage making into dadaist poetry (“Meat Grinder”), or, as they do on closer “Rhinestone Cowboy,” transform applause into bizarro percussion. With non-linear song structures and unconventional storytelling, Madvillainy stands out in all the best ways. — W. Graves

16. The Notorious B.I.G. – Ready to Die

It took some coaxing from Puff Daddy, but The Notorious B.I.G.’s ability to balance his outsized street persona with his softer side as a ladies’ man allowed him to form a complete picture of the man born Christopher Wallace on Ready to Die. The Brooklyn native was equally adept at weaving stick-up rhymes over hard-hitting production from Easy Mo Bee (“Gimme the Loot”) as he was rapping over the more radio-friendly beats of Puffy and the Hitmen (“Juicy,” “One More Chance”). However, tracks like “Everyday Struggle” provided a window into his inner turmoil and what made him tick. Even before the pressure that came with wearing the crown as King of New York, Biggie was already feeling plenty of weight, and his debut album served as a testament to that truth. — E. Fu

15. Fugees – The Score

Between Lauryn Hill’s once-in-a-lifetime potential and her tumultuous relationship with Wyclef Jean inside and outside of the group, Fugees weren’t built to last. On The Score, the Jersey trio caught fire and burned so brightly that matching the album would have been a Herculean task anyway. Together with Pras and honorary member John Forté, they collaborated with outside producers like Salaam Remi and Diamond D to create an unmistakable blend of live instrumentation with choice samples and hard-hitting drums. Hill leaned into her extraordinary talents as both an MC and singer on “Fu-Gee-La” and “Ready or Not,” with a cover of “Killing Me Softly with His Song” showcasing her pure vocal chops. Meanwhile, Wyclef took the spotlight when they took on Bob Marley’s “No Woman, No Cry,” and Pras was a formidable rapper in his own right. — E. Fu

14. Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique

The Beastie Boys’ debut, License to Ill,was carried by their winning personalities, but the beats could be dull and the drums tended towards simple and repetitive. Although follow-up Paul’s Boutique flopped on release, it was musically on another level, building rich soundscapes out of artful samples. The bonkers “Egg Man” and “High Plains Drifter” are great in a different way than Beastie’s hard-partying hits, and “B-Boy Bouillabaisse,” the nine-song suite that closes the album, remains sharp and surprising. With Paul’s Boutique, Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock reached the height of their creative power and made an album that is ambitious, hungry, and endlessly charming. — W. Graves

13. Tupac – All Eyez on Me

Tupac Shakur wasn’t a man of extremes, he was a man of just one extreme — all in. And with All Eyez on Me, one of our most maximalist artists turned in his crowning classic. The 27-track, two-disc extravaganza came together in a blizzard of flows and probably chemicals, too, after Suge Knight and Jimmy Iovine paid $1.4 million in bail to spring Shakur from the pen after charges of sexual misconduct. Shakur might not have been a great man, but he was a great artist, and prison gave his art two gifts: bottomless months in which to think, and a fire under his ass now that he knew how quickly his career could go away. All that philosophy and urgency joined together for one of the most ambitious works in music history. — W. GravesAdvertisement12. N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton

N.W.A’s first album, Straight Outta Compton, was a raw, explicit, instant classic. With producers Dr. Dre and DJ Yella alongside Eazy-E, Ice Cube, The D.O.C., and MC Ren on the mic, the group presented uncensored, politically-charged lyrics as a response to racism, violence, and police brutality. “Fuck tha Police” became a sensation by capturing a nation’s frustrations, while tracks like “Gangsta Gangsta” anticipated generations of violent raps. But N.W.A. is so much more than their headlines, incorporating elements of funk and dance music throughout the album on “Something Like That,” “Express Yourself,” and “Something 2 Dance 2.” With taboo-shattering highs and a deep roster of grooves, Straight Outta Compton rings as clear as ever. — S. Noor

11. Nas – Illmatic

How many writers over the last three decades spilled ink over Illmatic? This is hip-hop’s Mona Lisa — not to be confused with Slick Rick’s “Mona Lisa” — or Sistine Chapel ceiling. Nas’ debut entered the discourse in April 1994 and set up a permanent residence. It remains the measuring stick for solo debuts, and (sometimes unfortunately) looms like a shadow over everything Nas does. How does anyone live with a burden bigger than the Empire State Building sitting on their shoulders? Only the man formerly known as Nasty Nas knows that answer, but he and an all-star producer lineup did something few thought possible at the time by leapfrogging beyond what anyone expected from the kid who took rap by the jugular with one verse in ’91. Illmaticstill captures the imagination because it’s not only perfection, but hype realized. — M. Shorter

10. Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

[world-cinema-research]

Week 9: Short Essays- Yanissa Agbigay

For this week, I chose Forrest Gump and Tangerine as my two film choices for week 9. First off I will start off with the classic Forrest Gump. If you haven't seen it before, Tom Hanks who plays Forrest Gump did a great job playing his roles and shows that no matter who you are or what you do, you can find your sense of happiness and future for your own well-being. Whether the reviews are recent or in the past, many people say they feel different types of emotions in the movie. Some cry, some are inspired, and some are heart warmed. All in all an amazing movie to keep going back to. Even though there are many people who would agree with me, there are still a handful of viewers who don’t enjoy watching because there is no main genre for the movie leaving others confused.

Within the same year of Forrest Gump’s release, Citizens in both Sweden and Norway voted on whether or not to join the European Union in November of 1994. The two Scandinavian countries held public referendums on the issue only one month after their neighbor Finland did the same. In Sweden, the vote came out to fifty-two percent in favor of joining the EU with an eighty-three percent voter turnout. While in Norway, fifty-two percent of voters stated they were against joining the EU with an eighty-nine percent voter turnout.

https://brilliantmaps.com/sweden-norway-eu-1994/

I have noticed that compared to Forrest Gump, Tangerine is a more modernized film and capitalizes on the situations we have in our times today. Forrest Gump is more of a classic and has a more vintage look to it.

I also chose the movie Tangerine. To give you a rundown of the film, it is about a woman who learns of her pimp/boyfriend’s disloyal behavior while she is in jail. To teach him a lesson, she asks her best friend and a couple of Transgender adult workers to do the job for her and get some sort of revenge on him. I chose this film because when I read the summary I felt interested and I wanted to see what would happen between them in the end. When watching the film, I felt dismayed because even though the woman deserves the right to know the truth and feel hurt, she could have left the situation and cut all the strings that were attached, to dissipate the situation. There are a handful of viewers who did not enjoy watching this movie. They continued by saying that the acting was awful and the movie did not showcase the LGBTQ+ community in the right ways. Although there are some other viewers who can look past these concerns and come back for more. To be more fair, I learned that the film was shot with three iPhone 5S smartphones and premiered at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival on January 23, 2015.

Within the same year of the movie’s release, Queen Elizabeth the Second became the longest-serving British monarch on September 9, 2015, surpassing the record set by her great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria with more than 63 years on the throne.

Though one movie is more modern than the other, I have noticed that they both share the same genre category as comedy. On the other hand, Tangerine is considered an Indie Film whereas Forrest Gump has no distinct genre and has a mix of many to choose from.

[smoshidiot]

PT 2!

ENJOYABLE

Feet for Hands The California Stereotype Experiment Boxman's Christmas Frankie Rogers is James Bond We Were Robbed Stop Copying Me!! Apple Vision Pro SUCKS If Guys Had Girl Problems He Was Trapped in a Room for 20 Years One Letter Off Superheroes Phone Nicknames Hurt Backwards Curse Words Chips Ghost How to be an Awesome Hacker Food Battle 2016 If People Acted Like They Do Online One Letter Off Video Games The Vlog Virus One Letter Off Movies Teleporting Fat Guy Another YouTube Apology Video Celebrities Are Insane Santa is Rea lTransformers Rap Three Wishes The Assassins Handshake Batman's Cool Internet Video Beef 'n Go A Merry Gangsta Christmas Smosh Snatchers Twilight: New Moon Deleted Scenes 1-3 Grammar Police I Heart Burgers The Famous Cheese Guy If Video Games Were Real If Scary Movies Were Real My Fanny Pack Inappropriate Sonic 2 Guys 1 Bathroom The Future Sucks That Damn Trash Pile That Damn Rap Music If Cartoons Were Real Cute Furry Kittens Biggest Zit Ever I Suck at Draw Something A Cult Brainwashed Me How To Be A Cop Mime Fail If the Internet Were Real If Movies Were Real 2 I'm a Pirate How to Dump Your Girlfriend Runbrella My Embarrassing Bathroom Secret The New Ghostbusters My Magical Tapeworm If TV Shows Were Real Gamer Gets Trolled Rejected Mario Games I Lost My Hair Pokemon In Real Life 4 If Video Games Were Real 2 iPhone 5 Parody Emo Hair is Dangerous PEN15 Club Worst Online Date Ever That Damn Movie My Bobblehead is Evil Drivers Ed Crap Rap My Stupid Dying Grandpa Zelda in Real Life Life Better-ers The Rarest Pokemon Card We Found a Dead Guy I Have Kirby Powers How to Survive a Burglary New Pokemon Crossovers Good vs Surprisingly Good Amazing New Workout We Need Friends Holy Crap! 2 Billion Views! Your Dumb Im Dumber Pimps of Prom Horny Cellmate (Smosh Libs) My Bathroom Disaster Pokemon In Real Life 5 Movie Reboots Suck How to be a YouTube Commenter A Real Ouija Board No Spoilers Taylor Swift Dumped Me Conjoined Challenge Sex Turban The Legend of Zelda Netflix Trailer Movie Translation Fails Montage Machine Every Instagram Ever The Mother's Day Rule The Internet In Real Life We're In Super Mario Bros 2 Apple Watch SUCKS Yelp for People We're In Super Mario Bros 3 Tom Cruise is my Roommate The Car that Runs on Grass Addicted to Pranking Hoverboard Commercial Parody Ghost Gets Haunted by Humans We Forced Ian's Mom to do an Escape Room We're in Super Mario Maker Every Superhero Ever Guy's Guide to Football World's Smallest House If You Get this Text You Die Adult Magic School Bus Breaking News: Brad is Missing Law and Order: ZCD Movies on Drugs 2 Am I a Bad Boyfriend? Every Roommate Ever One Letter Off TV Shows Social Media Divorce Court If People Were Cars The Fuckboy Song

MID - GOOD

New Year's Eve PSA Spiderman, Spiderman Three Guys in a Hotel Boxman Loses The Election Selling Out?! 5 Ways to Get a Girl Lizard Rabies Super Powers Halo Ruined My Life My New Hot Girlfriend Harry Potter Deleted Scenes 7 Uses of a $10,000 Check Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig Ian Is Pregnant Anthony Gets Engaged Washington's First Video Blog Mighty Smoshin Power Rangers If Kids Shows Were Real How to Hide Your Wiener in Public My 3D Glasses Changed Everything China Stole Our Ideas If Holidays Were Real Rejected Videos Makeup for Men Hot Robot Does Our Chores When Justin Bieber Hit Puberty Teens in the Wild Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig 3 Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig 4 My Mail Order Bride Wii U Sports Dubstep Commercials Suck Life Hacking Attention Facebook Users Nipples on YouTube Hitchhiking 5,000,000 Subscribers How to Cheat on Your Girlfriend 15Hr Energy Drink A Smoshy Christmas That's Hot! Taken 4: The Prequel The Most Violent Game Ever My Friend's Hot Sister Magic Wipes Scribblenauts in Real Life I Have a Secret Son 22 Crazy Vines (That Don't Exist) Texting Gone Wrong Banned Airplane Safety Video Loki Interview Prank Smosh vs Zombies Flappy Bird Ruined My Life Name Rap or Die Backwards Challenge I Can Hear Your Thoughts Magic iPod We're Stuck in Slow Motion Autocorrect Fail Real Mario Lava Floor If Video Games Were Real 3 Emma Warson Surprise Prank The Adventure Time Adventure 19 More Crazy Vines (That Don't Exist) Real Watch Dogs Anime Voice Swap iPhone 6 Revealed The Rock Interview Prank If Bieber Wrote His Songs Top 10 Video Game Dances 9 Most Horrible Bosses Real Minecraft Vacation 6 Ways to Get a Girl If Movies Were Real 3 Disney Star Wars Worst Proposals Ever What Guys Are Really Thinking Japanese Titanic We're in Super Mario The End of Christmas Marvel's The Lie Detector Every Boyfriend Ever Every Oscars Ever Every Super Villain Ever Smosh Solves Climate Change Video Game Items In Real Life 2 If TV Shows Were Real 3 Every Horror Movie Ever Every Football Game Ever If Every Thief was a Getaway Driver

hey guys: i ranked every smosh video

yes, every. single. smosh video. (every main channel sketch from 2005-2017 + 2023)

here it is under the cut if for some damn reason you're curious

♡ ABSOLUTE FAVES ♡ Paranormal Easy Bake Oven Sleepwalking Disaster Mortal Kombat Theme Food Battle 2006 Food Battle 2023 The Legend of Zelda Rap Axe Murderer Battleship Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Boxman's Girlfriend Pokemon Theme Ian's Birthday Anthony Gets a Haircut Pokemon Theme REVENGE That Damn Neighbor Assassins Creed 3 Song My Dead Friend Boxman 2.0 Boxman Smosh Short 1: Dolls Unitarded A Very Hairy Situation w/Billy Mays Anthony is Mexican Left Handed Magic Keyboard Food Battle 2007 That Damn Yard Sale Four Years Foreplay Pokemon In Real Life Stuck in a Toilet My Mom's AMAZING Video Sex Ed Rocks Going to the Mountains Stop Copying Me! Cursed Magic 8 Ball We Rule High School Dixon Cider Smosh the Movie Real Death Note Firetruck I Broke My Foot 1 Hour Special Ghostmates Food Battle 2008 The Ultimate Shoedown WTF! I'm Old! Food Battle 2010 Dolls: 10 Years Later The Real Party Song Kiss Currency PRETTY DAMN GOOD

Smash Rap Molester Moon Hand Bomb Sleeping Pill Disaster My Grandpa's Dirty Secret Food Battle 2011 Quest for the Scooter Smosh Found Dead Garrett's Blog How Not to Act on a First Date Longest Staring Contest Ever Extreme Sleepover Hardcore Max Real Voodoo Doll He's Driving Me Crazy First Person Shooters Suck Drink Your Own Piss Parents SuckWe're Stuck Together We Finally Released Our Banned Video Boxman for President Cat Soup I Caught Every Pokemon Ian is Dangerous Ian's First Girlfriend Ian Gets Lucky Manspider Happy Cow Food Battle 2012 Pizza Zombies Food Battle 2013 Evil Fortune Cookie Hardcore Max 2 Food Battle 2014 License Test Toy Airplane Food Battle X Finger Guns Google Glass SUCKS My Mutant Rash The NEW Smosh TV Show That Damn Shower EDITOR! Camp in a Van Sexual Sun Every Smosh Video Ever Addicted to Selfies Hide and Seek My Best Friend is a Robot How Google's Space Ship Failed Business Boy Emoji Curse Human Pokemon Battle Rejected Zelda Games We're Stuck in Fan Fiction

I LIKED THIS ONE

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Undercover- Mob! Steve Rogers Part 2

Okay here is the highly requested part two to my Mob! Steve post! I had some technical difficulties posting it but hopefully you guys see it in the tags now :)

Warnings: swearing and smut

Word count: 2.8k

“When I said go undercover, I didn’t mean under his covers, Agent.” Director Fury slammed his hand down on his desk. It had now officially been twenty-four hours since your encounter with the mob boss and you had been waiting anxiously all day to talk with Nick Fury. The rumor around the office all day was that he wasn’t too pleased with how things went down.

“I did what I had to do, sir.” You stated boldly.

Fury scoffed but didn’t respond.

He was quiet for a moment, his eye scanning over the piece of paper in his hand. You fidgeted uncomfortably as your legs were still sore from your romp last night and you tried to hold it together as Fury gave you a weird look.

“Just sit down, Y/N.”

You muttered a thank you as you took a seat.

“Listen, this is all good and fine but I want more. This,” He waved the note in his hand. “Is just a drug felony. I want this bastard put away for life.”

“But what about Stark?”

“A slippery politician, nothing more. I want insight on just more than this. I want it all.”

You sat back in the chair. You understood where he was coming from, but he was also acting like you hadn’t just uncovered a huge piece of information.

“Sir-”

“Which is why you’re going to continue...seeing Rogers. Your undercover assignment has just been extended until further notice.”

“But, sir!” You stood up in protest.

“But nothing, Agent. You’ve made your bed and you’ve already lied in it. Now do it again.” He snapped.

“Are you pimping me out, sir?”

“You did that yourself, Y/N.” Fury snarked. “Anyway, as we speak I have other agents creating an entire new identity for you on the internet so when Roger’s does eventually look you up he’ll find everything we want him to find.”

You felt yourself sinking back down into the chair. He was being completely serious. You suddenly felt very hot as you processed all the information coming at you.

“And what exactly is it going to say?”

“That you are Y/N Monroe. You are the same age as you are now and a barista at the coffee shop just below your apartment. You went to the University of Minnesota and graduated with a business degree, but currently can’t find any jobs. Pity. Your parents died when you were young and you have no siblings-no need to wrap anyone else up in this. We’ve made an Instagram account since that seems to be the most popular app among adults your age. I pushed for no socials but apparently it’s weirder if you don’t have one.”

“Okay...but I don’t have a coffee shop below my apartment.”

“You do now. Your stuff is being moved into a safe house apartment on the other side of town. That’s where you’ll be staying for now. Don’t worry, I have Parker holed up in the apartment two doors down.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to try to calm down. There was nothing else you could do. Fury was right, you had made your bed. You reached over and grabbed the file that Fury had pushed towards the front of the desk. Your new life all put together in a Manila folder.

Damn you, Ma and your slutty advice.

“You can go now.” Fury waved you away, now totally focused on whatever file he had in front of him. You hesitated, wanting to say something but nothing came so you left.

“Y/N!” Peter ran up beside you as you stormed down the hallway. “Heard we’re gonna be neighbors.”

You smiled at how excited he was. “It’s only temporary, Parker. Don’t wet your pants.”

Peter blushed and gently shoved you to the side as you both continued walking. “I know that. But doesn’t mean it won’t be fun. We could have movie nights or something.”

“I suppose we could find some time.” You nudged him back.

“Oh here, before I forget.” Peter shoved a brand new iPhone into your hand. “Fury had me add some tweaks to the geo location so it’s more precise than what Apple has. My burner number is already programmed in there too.”

You studied the burner phone, impressed that they didn’t just give you another shitty tracfone like you were used to.

“Thanks, kid.”

“I’m not that much younger than you.” Peter grumbled as the two of you finally made it to the parking structure.

You smirked over your shoulder as you walked up to your Jeep Wrangler. “Young enough. ‘Night, kid!”

Peter flipped you off but was smiling the whole time as you drove off.

You punched in your new address in the GPS and followed along as it brought you to the older part of town. You had always loved this part of the city but never thought to move out here. Even though it wasn’t the new upcoming neighborhood, the rent prices had been driven up by the young kids moving in who just “adored the old time aesthetic” and the lofted buildings.

Your building was one of those you noted as you parked your car outside of your new address. The old brick building was tall, maybe six stories and had fire escapes littered across the front of it. The front door was a rusted green that you had to yank to budge to get open.

Extra security, I suppose. You laughed to yourself.

Your apartment was on the third floor and right off the freight elevator. You weren’t expecting much when you opened the door but you made a noise of pleasant surprise when you did.

The inside was warm and inviting. A plush gray sofa that resembled a cloud was center in your living room that you saw right away from the small entry hallway. As you stepped in further you saw a decent size tv mounted against the wall and two bookshelves on either side of it, filled with books and records that went along with the record player that was right underneath the television. To the left the living room was the kitchen. Nothing big, which you didn’t mind-you weren’t the best cook in the world. There was a small bar-like counter that had two barstools perched underneath. Down the small hallway you found your bedroom. A king sized bed covered in an off white comforter set with matching sheets. Small potted plants hung from the corner near the window and an array of makeup and perfumes littered the top of the wooden dresser.

Tentatively you opened the dressers to find a whole new wardrobe waiting for you. There were basics: such as t-shirts, jeans, bras and panties but there was also a whole drawer dedicated to skimpy lingerie that you knew was expensive. The walk-in closet was filled with dresses, some formal and some you wouldn’t let your grandmother even see hanging off the rack.

“Well done, Fury.” You mumbled to yourself as your fingers ran down the silk fabric of a long evening gown.

You were settling on to your couch, sweats on and a glass of wine in your hand when you heard a knock on the door. Slowly you got up, grabbing your gun from the plant next to the door. You looked through the peephole and let out a curse when you saw none other than Steve Rogers standing outside your apartment.

You shoved the gun back into the plant and ran your fingers through your hair before opening the door, but leaving the chain attached.

“Mr. Rogers, how can I help you?” Your eyes twinkled as the man in front of you rested his arm on the top of the door frame and leaned close to the opening you had created.

“You said I would see you soon, princess. Looks like soon is now.” The nickname again caused your stomach to flutter.

“I was just getting ready for bed. You’ll have to come by another time.” You feigned a yawn. Steve’s eyes blared as he stood up straight.

“It’s rude to keep your guests waiting, Miss Monroe.” Your heart jumped at the use of your alias. Thank god your team worked fast.

“And it’s rude to show up to people’s apartments unannounced, Mr. Rogers.”

“Open the door, sweetheart.” He hissed, but his eyes held anything but anger. He was intrigued. He never found a woman before who wasn’t afraid to dish back his sass. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

“Say please.” You teased through the opening.

“Please.” He said through gritted teeth.

Chuckling you closed the door gently and undid the chain. Before you could reopen it though, Steve pushed his way through scooping you up in his arms as he did. You naturally wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms held tight around him as you squealed against his neck.

He walked you back into the living room and plopped down on the couch, holding you so you were still straddling him.

You pulled away but kept your arms hanging loosely around him. He smirked up at you as his fingers toyed with the hem of the tank top you had on. His eyes fell to the wine that was only half drank on your coffee table.

“Heading off to bed soon, huh?”

“My bedtime snack.”

There was a part of your brain that recognized him for who he was: evil. But another part of your brain saw him as the man who made your body feel things that it had never felt before and that had your heart racing like a schoolgirl with a crush. The part that recognized that he was so easy to talk and joke with. The great sex wasn’t a bummer either.

His smirk was replaced by a genuine smile as he pulled you down and gave you a kiss that had your toes curling. He moaned into your mouth as you slowly ground your hips against his, your fingers tugging at the hair by his neck. His tongue massaged yours, letting you know exactly who was in charge at this moment. His hands ran underneath your tank top, fingers tracing up your spine before reaching the front and giving your nipples a slight twist.

He moved his mouth from yours and peppered kisses along the side of your neck as he lifted the tank top over your head. He threw it to the side as his mouth attached to your protruding bud while his fingers pinched and toyed with the other one. Skillfully, and with his mouth still attached to you, Steve flipped you over so your back was on the couch and he was on top of you. He lifted his head, his blue eyes clouded with lust as he started kissing down from the center of your chest, down your stomach and down your legs as he pulled your sweats along with him.

He hummed as he spread your bottom lips apart with his fingers, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit. You wiggled your hips against his face but he responded with a smack against your core.

“Honey, you gotta learn who’s in charge here and who’s-“ he kissed your clit ever so slightly, teasing you. “Just a little cock slut.”

His tongue circled over your bundle of nerves while fingers toyed with your slick. Gently he pushed two fingers into your pussy. Your eyes fluttered closed as his steady rhythm and flick of his tongue brought your orgasm to the forefront.

“Shit, Steve…” you whimpered, gripping his hair and pulling him close. “Oh fuck, I’m close!”

“Let me taste you, princess.” Steve growled. You nearly lost it at the sigh of your juices dripping from his chin. “Give it to me like the good girl you are.”

“Oh god!” You called out as he hit that spongy spot that caused your thighs to tighten around his head. Your body spasmed as it rode out your orgasm. Your chest heaving and your legs shaking as he slowly pulled his fingers from you. A moan was caught in your throat as you watched him put his soaked fingers between his lips, a look of pure satisfaction covering his perfect face.

Steve leaned his body over yours but careful not to let his full weight fall on you. He ran his nose up the side of your neck, along your cheek before letting it rub against your own. You grabbed his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. There was something so erotic about tasting yourself when your tongues met.

“Show me your bedroom?” Steve pulled away. You gave a weak nod. Steve stood up and hoisted you up, your legs weak beneath you.

“Poor baby.” He cooed in your ear. “Only one orgasm down and already can’t walk. I can’t imagine how you’ll be when I’m done with you.”

With that he lifted you and walked down your short hallway to the bedroom. In your hazy, post orgasm mind you hoped the mattress was comfy. You hadn’t even tested out beforehand.

Steve threw you on the bed and you sighed as you fell into the cloud. You leaned back on your elbows and watched as Steve unbuttoned the new shirt and trousers he had on. You stifled your laughter thinking about the wine stained ones back at his house.

“Something amusing to you, sweetheart?” He grabbed your ankle and pulled you towards the end of the bed. He lifted your foot up, setting it over his shoulder as he kissed the inside of your calf.

“No, sir.” You teased.

“You’re a bad liar.” He nipped at your knee.

Not as bad as you might think.

Steve made you come at least four more times that night. Your body completely spent when he finally rolled over and laid next to you, yours and his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

You rolled over and threw your leg and arm over his body, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. Steve’s fingers toyed with yours as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Spend the night?” You asked into the darkness. It was nearly three in the morning and your eyes were slowly closing no matter how much you willed them to stay open.

“I have some business things that I have to take care of early in the morning.” He answered, his fingers running up and down your arm.

“Oh, okay.” You said sadly. Steve’s chest rumbled with light laughter as he brought your hand that was in his up to his lips and gave it a kiss. You were soon realizing that he was actually a very affectionate person.

“But I want you to come back to the house tomorrow. I’ll send one of my guys for you in the afternoon.”

“Really?” You sat up. Steve blindly reached for your nightstand and turned on the lamp that was on it. His hair was tousled from the numerous times you had run your fingers through it and his lips were red and swollen. He looked like the epitome of sex and it was fucking hot.

“Yes, really.” He chuckled. He grabbed your phone that was on the nightstand and held it out for you to unlock. You did quickly and he took it back and started typing. “I don’t give out my personal number to a lot of people.”

“So I’m special.” You wiggled in your spot, a grin covering your face.

“Yes. You are.” Steve looked back at you and you were taken aback by the sincerity in his tone. He handed your phone back to you and you laughed at the name he had for his contact: Steve Rogers and an eggplant emoji.

“You’re a child.” You giggled.

Steve rolled his eyes and got out of bed and you took the time to appreciate his bum as he walked over to get his pants.

You gathered the soft sheets in your hand and brought them up to your chest. Although you weren’t sure what you were trying to hide, he had seen it all.

Once he was dressed and you slipped on a robe that you found hanging behind the door, you walked him out. He stood in your doorframe, his large figure making the space seem very small. He smiled as he tucked a loose piece of hair behind your head and leaned down and gave you a kiss.

“Make sure to lock all the doors behind me. And text me when you wake up tomorrow.” He demanded softly.

“Mmmkay, I will.” You said hazily.

“Go get some sleep, princess.” He laughed as he pushed away from the door and walked to the elevator. You watched as he got in and gave you a quick wave before whipping out his phone to make a call.

Once he was out of sight you closed the door softly, making sure to bolt everything before heading back to your bed. You were too tired to even clean up before you passed out.

[marie1-kersaint]

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