#phuck meat

[lazyscience]

DCC Challenge, Day 12

Time To Floor Collapse: 18 days, 2.5 hours (give or take)

Time for the recap episode!

Crawler @quartzandsundry

New Achievement! You Bettah Werk!

Keep up on those heals, buffs and hope - or if not, start blowing shit up! either way, you're a star and we love it.

Reward: A gold Supermodel box! Inside, a tiara of Mana Genita! +3 intelligence, and decreased hostility from mobs that are mothers.

Crawler @kathrynalexao3:

New Achievement! Keep on Keepin' On!

...And RIGHT AFTER you get dogpiled to take a break, out you go again. Love the hustle, though! And everyone loves when you point out where the fish done phucked up. Keep up the good work! (I particularly enjoyed the artistic graffiti on the guard outposts. But would it KILL you to include a ...full-length subject every once in a while? Maybe teasingly posed mid-step?

Reward: A gold Cosmic Death Storm box! Inside, a tome of Graupel and an enchanted Katar of the Black Lion (+5 to Strength, +10% piercing damage in all attacks)

Crawler @king-ofconfusion:

New Achievement! Guess What, So's Your Mom!

Eyyyyyyy, so! About that snick! Yeah, we all know it wasn't real. But you know who doesn't know? Billions of young central-system crawl fans! And well, if you wanted to step on any REAL goblins, well. That's of course entirely up to you. Although I would definitely make it worth your while...

Reward: A gold Smells Like Fish box! Includes a Ring of Water Breathing, a Belt of Buoyancy, a pink sparkly wand of +3 Charisma (has 10 charges of Faerie Lights, neutralizes aggro from winged fairy-class mobs, feral unicorns, and Krakarens not of Boss rank) and...a theragun? (shrugs)

Crawler @oreniaa:

New Achievement! Doin' It For The Vine!

Your resourcefulness continues to amaze, delight and occasionally nauseate your devoted following - I didn't know you could get Gehenna Brambles to DO that, but we sure all know now to be sure to light that shit BEFORE we put it to our mouths! Or fucked, we are!

Reward: A gold Prometheus box! Inside, 3 scrolls of Community Pool, 2 of Hanzo, and one of Reverse Gravity! You'll figure out what to do with them, I'm sure. I believe in the ingenuity of mankind.

Crawler @cairfrey :

New Achievement! Got a Problem? I'll Solve it!

So is there anything that the combination of deductive reasoning and horrifying violence can't solve? Hah! Didn't think so! That being said, you may want to consider switching from the violin to the cello for maximum impact potential.

Reward: A silver Conan the Librarian box! Inside, a tome of Brain Dreeze, three scrolls of Mute, and an enchanted Warhammer of the Overdue (+100% damage reflection and autocast of Wall of Fire if anyone uses Book Burner)

Crawler @deathdovesong

New Achievement! "I'm Doing My Part!"

Awww, you and your sweet pupper making waves with the local guard! Who's a good raging hellbeast? You are! You are! Keeping morale high!

Reward: a gold K-9 box! Includes an enchanted Thunder Shirt of the Elder Gods, which gives +5 levels in Mascot and allows every third bite to cast the Stunned! debuff, and enchanted Pedi Socks of the Vinegar Bitch, which when worn nightly grant +5 to the Foot Soldier skill for 30 hours, and also leave your soles silky smooth, ready for stompin'!

Crawler @clearbrightlight

New Achievement! It Always Feels Like Somebody's Watchin' Me!

And they are, crawler, oh, they are. Your views are in the stratosphere since you solved the quest of the Nesting Moats and gained access to that bitchin' jointed columnar ritual space. Hey, what'cha summoning with all that seaglass and eel entrails? Could it...could it be...

Ladies and gentlemen of the crawl, the first successful Loch Ness Monster summoning on Dungeon Crawl: Earth!

Reward: A Legendary Cryptid box! Includes a Raptor Wings spell to turn one of your faithful feline friends into a Legendary Gryphon familiar! Your choice of cat claws and eagle beak, or cat jaws and eagle talons! Also includes a tome of Meat Hooks so you can keep up with feeding that thing and not have it eyeing other crawlers.

Crawler @lazyscience:

New Achievement: Don't Fear the Reaper!

Congratulations, you made the spreadsheet your bitch and beat the clock on your countdown to being able to blame someone ELSE if the submission doesn't go in on time. Remember, you don't have to be the fastest to escape the bear, just faster than one of others running away!

You also met up with your sibling guild, spent an evening not dooming, and made a mutual assistance pact against doomscrolling.

Remember, crawler, this also means you. At least a half hour NOT looking at a computer 5 nights a week until the next Bad Movie Night meetup.

Reward: *sigh* we said you could. but no more buying pharmaceuticals until you've made some potions, or at least some legendary gear. You hear me?

ATTENTION, all partied crawlers! Don't forget to update me on mobs, quests, or parties (defined at link) so I can award you achievements! Please let me know either in the replies to this post, reblogging with additions, or hit my askbox/DMs!

(please, do this, even with small and silly mobs/quests, it makes giving achievements so much easier!)

[laaaaaarwood]

on the train out of edinburgh currently, let me set the scene, there’s me, opposite me there’s a couple, not rich looking but not poor looking, m&s types, and on the seats the other side of the aisle is a bloke dressed in a high-vis jacket who’s mumbling to himself not discreetly about the rest of the people on the train, i think he said something about my shirt not fitting me properly (it’s fairly baggy), the couple opposite me are clearly in for a long ride, they’ve got a smorgasbord of m&s finger food items, small sausage rolls, stuffed vine leaves, cured meat, and a bottle of white wine. the bloke in the high vis jacket takes one look at them, looks downward and mumbles “phUCk off, whas-thataboot? look at them, they gotta fuckin bo’a wine there anaw! fucksattaboot?” the bloke opposite me with the wine hears this, turns to his girlfriend and asks “did he just tell you to fuck off?” i can’t quite make out what her response was, but it was something to try to put out any potential fires. good decision, this train is too small and the journey is too long to start a fight, so the bloke opposite me, he looks high-vis jacket right in the eye, nods at him, at takes an almighty swig of wine, nods again, and looks away. the absolute shock and confusion on high-vis’ face, i’ll remember that for the rest of my life.

[blackrocks-greatest]

...Dissection discussion aside, how the phuck are you not dead from eating something poisonous by now? And no, I strongly advise against attempting to eat me as well. That's reserved for someone else.

However, dissection discussion focused, considering that you don't seem to concern yourself with the autonomy of your own subjects, why would I care for yours? What stops me from picking you apart, here and now?

I'm built so I'm fine with eating things such a raw meat!!! Sometimes fresh meat is so tasty...

As for what's stopping you, myself! & all my security systems & such. I would like for you to leave me alone, & move about your day, hm? Go dissect someone else, surely someone is willing!!

[adobe-outdesign]

Au where all of Batim is instead located at a shopping mall with a Mr. Meatly (tm) selling meat goods at the food court and it’s just a regular day at the mall

Meatly: welcome to mcdawnalds do you wanna phucking beesechurger

Henry, crying: please, i just want to see my wife again

Meatly: chinken nunget

[blackpol]

Oh the love handles on this phuck-meat

[here-comes-the-snow]

OUH BY TH WAY!!!! subspce ate some of my meat anjd organs and tissue an i thinks a few ofmy bones as well??????? he toldme to not tel u but i DID so get phucked subspcase!!!

HEYYYYYHAHEY BUDDY HEY VENOM MY FAVRITE BSIDES ILLUMINA!!!!hwodgfshfgsj

-@here-comes-the-snow (OOC // he’s drunk 💔)

"..You smell like...Ok...Who gave Icedagger alcohol? Come on, lets get you some water.."

[joeykrunksblog]

The language of the universe are symbols. The gears of creation at the center of the Earth level plane aka computer simulation. HOLOGRAPHIC UNIVERSE. Infinite potential follow compass North technically the South, inner Earth. Paradise. Mount Meru. The Garden of Eden. Shambhala.Avalon. Asgard. Yggdrasil. Tree of life. Rupes Nigra. We are not dead meat, we have requested Heaven on Earth for everyone in blood. We have resurrected like Jesus the SUN above our heads. Phuck you = Wake up. Mother. Father. Children. #bloodoverintent #heavenonearth #GodisaWOMAN #matrix #matrixmeansmother #Mother #iworshipyou #wewishherwell #backmasking #words #spells https://www.instagram.com/p/CRWSLfxN_yH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[slowlyteenagestarlight]

#OMG! Humanity wake up! These reptilians are killing you! Why are you not researching anything? These are your babies that look to you for protection and discernment with love for their survival. Stay the Phuck out of those factories. There’s no such thing as a “hospital “! Hostel! Yes! Guessing that piece of filth of a snuff movie went over your head. Juices/no meat and definitely no manufactured fast food particles. It’s all manufactured in laboratories. It’s not food. Learn to grow your own consumables. #YES2Q21

[elevatehumanity]

Something isn't right Yet all things are perfeect. 🤔 I do my best not to criticiise nor fault find. But Holy shit!! Burning question dwells Within as I sit on this.... What decisions to avoid That guarantee Success? Most people here are older. I have no fear in this; rather respect.. Do my best to see environment as platform to learn wit. At times I've blamed the Mari💨 but than I see this shit! Grown men with Moto's/Big Boi trucks/Lawyer's/ Business Men and Women smoking? Could you be alcohol? I barley even drink! Just recently bought a bottle of Henny for no reason. With a goal to get Phucked up. Guess what!!! I still didn't!! 🤔 Hate not havin control! Could this be it? Expecting to much control? IDK I remember asking an older gentleman "yo, what decisions would u change? Decisions that would avoid u riding bus at this old Age? with all respect... I'm no better" make that a bet He looked down and said.... "Powder" 🤔. Confident I can't use this person as a reflection Of what I get. but then again I can. Is this the path I'm heading? Well, I don't do powder We can eliminate that shit! As of today I've gone a while Not lighting up Sum Piff. 💨 Does this mean everyone that smokes will end up in The streets? Is it the Women I get? The ones i smashed while just a jit? Or maybe phuckin someone's wife? They tell us karmas a bitch. I think.. 🤔 In retrospect she came on to me. Only 19, she even sucked the Meat. 🤓 I create what I receive, must slow down, sit back and breath. Be grateful for where u sleep. Don't settle for schemi chicks. So grateful that I am Grate! So Confident all this will end! Wait; I think 🤔 Here Comes The beginning! Maybe it's all Just to Relate With those that lost vision. Phuckin Horny As Bitch https://www.instagram.com/p/BneRfwInkBy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cq5ro5if0n38

[askresultsjohnson-blog]

Back when I was younger, when food was actually food....the chit was called #KentuckyFriedChicken.... Can't something chicken if it isn't....why THA PHUCK you think they changed the name to #KFC????? And why they do that to Master Splinter? Just wrong...#Repost @u_kno_grizz with @repostapp ・・・ 🐀🐁🐭I never seen a chicken with a tail. Yall keep eating this bull shit. 🚫❎No fast food for me!❎🚫 I'm not trying to sound like a health freak but leave this garbage alone ppl please. Companies have come out and admitted to not using real meat and yall still click to it. Smh

[dontcallitacomeblog-blog]

Birth of a New Season

Gentlemen, gentlemen. So by now we’ve all heard the big announcement of the week. A new fantasy football season has been born! We each stand as proud fathers of our fantasy babies and we wonder-- what will our teams grow up to be? Will they be overachievers or will they be disappointments?

2017 was basically the year of the Gurley (shudders). Rugged Individualism brought home their first (? at least in this iteration of the league) championship on the back of the Rams star RB.

(Dog representation of me watching Gurley highlights last year)

But that’s all in the past now. It’s a new year and there are new names to learn, new trends to watch, and new pits of fantasy despair to fall into once we fail.

There are no on-field results yet to analyze, but it wouldn’t be a kick-off without our beloved/despised Power Rankings. There will be much more meat in next week’s post.

(**Editor’s Note: I am going to try my damnedest to put these things out on a weekly basis, but life could easily get in the way as I’m moving, starting a new job, etc. Also, I really don’t want to fade into ambivalence by Week 10 or so either, but yeah.)

So here we go!

8. Phantasy Phuck-Ups [Jaunty 90′s tune starts] When I wake up in the morning ESPN gives out a warning And I don’t think Lev will make it on time By the time I set my team And Bell has dashed my dreams I’m on the waivers just in time to see handcuffs fly by.

It all sucks, ‘coz I’m screwed by Lev Bell. It all sucks, ‘coz I’m screwed by Lev Bell.

7. Narcoleptic Archimedes

Alvin Kamara and DeAndre Hopkins could keep this team afloat for a while, but in this league you actually have to swim and not just float ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. MooreSwagg

My only preseason knock on this team is the double Viking WR attack. I mean, if Kirk Cousins airs it out a lot then this could pan out well.

5. Wentz Upon a Time

(What is it with teams in this league naming their squads after quarterbacks they don’t even roster?)

The younger Lindquist has loads of young talent with a ton of rookie and second-year players (and Drew Brees), but can they actually live up to the hype?

4. Stafford Infection

I think Flory has the best 1-2 combination at wide receiver. I’m slotting him in the playoffs this year.

3. The Last O.G.

Picture it-- it’s the post-apocalyptic wasteland. The barren desert stretches for what seems like an eternity, but there, on the horizon is the outline of a familiar sign. Why yes, the green text, the purple grapes, it’s an Olive Garden, perhaps the last one in existence. Like a culinary cockroach, it has withstood the nuclear fallout and the Mad Max-style gasoline raids. You go inside hoping that their chef’s creative tools are still intact as well. A sigh of relief leaves your body-- the microwave is still there.

Also, fuck Todd Gurley.

2. Bologna Sandwich

Get ready. I’m filling my trophy case. I’ve already got James Conner, my No Bell Prize, and now I’m gunning for the league title.

1. Rugged Individualism

It’s like the great philosopher Richard Flair said-- “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.” Can’t do a proper power rankings without having our defending champ at the top.

Enjoy Week One!