#photofrompinterest

[mintxeijn]

[issawrites]

3/3

Hi.

Alam kong matagal ng tapos yung pagkakaibigan natin. Pero ni isang reklamo hindi ka nakarinig sakin hindi ba?

Alam kong hindi ako perpektong kaibigan.

Alam kong nasaktan kita sa nalaman mo.

Pero sino bang mas nasaktan sa'tin? Ah. Hindi na pala yan mahalaga.

Pero gusto kong malaman mo, hindi ko sasabihin yung mga nabanggit ko sa pinsan ko, kung wala akong ibang naramdaman.

Alam kong mali na hindi ko sinabi sayo 'yun. Mas gusto ko kasi sanang sabihin sayo sa personal. Kasi alam kong nababasa mo ako, mas kilala mo ako.

Ako yung kaibigan mo pero hindi ko na nararamdaman na andyan ka. Ah, mas masaya bang kasama yung tropa nila? Sana sinabihan mo ako para hindi ako umasa.

Ako yung kaibigan mo, pero hindi mo ako pinaniwalaan. Akala ko kasi sabi mo, kilala mo ako, mahalaga ako sayo.

Anong nangyari? Lumayo ka. Ni hindi ko alam kung bakit? Nung naramdaman ko na, dun mo lang ako kinausap dahil sa sinabi ng pinsan ko.

Anong ginawa ko? Kahit nasaktan ako, kahit miss na miss ko na yung tayong dalawa lang lagi yung magkasama, pinilit ko pa rin sumama sayo kahit kasama mo na rin sila. Alam kong alam mo na ayoko sa kanila, pero para sayo pinilit ko, kahit nagmumukha na akong tanga, kahit out of place na ako.

Masakit 'yun.

Intramurals first day. Nasaan ako? Nasa loob lang ng classroom, na dapat nanunuod sa stage. Alam mo bang napagalitan ako kasi nasa room lang ako? Hindi diba? Muntik ng ipatawag parents namin, ng mga naabutan na nasa room lang. Buti na lang pinagsulat lang kami.

Intramurals second day. Nasaan ako? Naghanap ng pwedeng tambayan na hindi makikita ng iba. Nasa library ako. Buti bukas yung library, buti pinayagan ako na tumambay dun. Nakiusap ako sa librarian. Hindi ko alam, naawa siguro sa itsura ko. Nakaka-disappoint lang. Nasa isang sulok lang ako, hindi ako umupo sa upuan, sa sahig ako umupo, kumuha ng libro, habang umiiyak mag-isa. Alam kong nakita ako ng librarian na umiiyak. Naalala ko sinara na niya yung library kahit andun pa ako, iniwan ako para kumain, na tumambay na lang daw muna ako. Nakita nga pala ako ng isa nating kaklase, kahit siya nakita yung itsura ko. Nakakainis lang.

After ng intrams hindi na ako masyadong nagpaparamdam. Pumapasok na lang ako kapag may quiz, kailangang gawin sa school.

Pinilit ko, tiniis ko, ma-save lang yung friendship natin. Kaso, kahit anong gawin ko, wala talaga.

Sige, sabi ko, tatapusin ko na lang yung term. Tutal ga-graduate naman na tayo. Sulitin ko na lang na mag-enjoy pa akong makasama kita.

Naalala mo nung nagpapasukat na para sa mga toga? Sinamahan kita 'diba? Alam kong kahit nababasa mo 'ko, pinilit kong hindi iparamdam sayo na hindi ako aattend, na hindi ako masaya.

Ano bang sabi ko sayo? Ah. Na si mama na yung bahala sa toga ko kasi may kilala si mama kung saan magre-rent.

Ah si mama? Ayun busy nga pala. Hindi ko siya sinabihan sa mga requirements. Ako na yung gumawa, hindi ko siya sinabihan sa paghahanap ng toga. Para saan pa ba? Hindi rin naman ako aattend. Hindi rin naman siya gaganahang umattend kasi wala ako sa top. Sino rin bang gaganahang umupo ng matagal sa ceremony kung nasa dulo ako ng pila dahil sa surname ko.

Practice ng graduation, last days sa school hindi na ako pumasok. Hindi ako nagparamdam sayo, sa inyo.

Ah yung teacher nga pala natin sa algeb, dahil lang sa hindi ako umattend ng grad practice, anong ginawa niya? Sobrang binabaan niya yung grade ko. Hindi ko alam na kailangan din pala mag solve sa practice. Hindi ako na-inform. Napagod ako, na-drain ako. Dahil dyan, hindi ko nagawang ilaban yung grade ko. Para saan pa ba? Pasado pa rin naman kahit ang unfair.

Graduation day. Anong oras na ba, nakahiga pa rin ako. Ah. Ayun. Puro tawag ka nung araw na yun.

Ano nga ba ulit 'yun. Ah. Sinadya ko pala talagang hindi umattend. Hindi ko kayang makipag plastikan. Hindi ko kayang ngumiti. Hindi ko kayang maging okay.

Ano nga bang sabi ko sayo nun? Ah busy si mama hindi makakapunta kaya hindi ako makakaattend.

Hindi ko kayang umattend ng grad kasi hindi mag sink in sakin na mas ginusto mong kasama yung mga taong ayoko. Hindi mag sink in sakin na nung nag post yung isa kong pinsan na nag review center ako pero hindi ako pumasa, sinuportahan mo.

Don't worry. Hinding hindi mo ako makikita sa reunion ng batch natin. Yes, friends tayo sa facebook, pero hanggang dun na lang yun. The moment na umalis ako sa group chat natin, pinutol ko na lahat ng pwedeng maging connection ko sa inyo.

May isang salita naman ako.

Ikaw lang yung meron ako. Pero wala talaga.

Ang sakit ng ipinaramdam mo sakin sobra.

I hope you're doing well.

[amorprofano]

Cada brizna de pasto tiene su Ángel que se inclina y le susurra: "crece, crece". #ElTalmud #betobe #hope #because #quotes #spirituality #photofrompinterest #dragonfly

[issawrites]

Beautiful Scars - Maximillian

Broken all the pieces I've been shaping lately

Focused on the things that didn't make no sense

Guess that growing up was never meant to be easy

Yeah, I got used to doing everything sideways

Didn't really care about how everyone felt

Hiding my emotions down in different ashtrays

Oh, but what is lost ain't gone

No, you can't just let go

'Cause it's a part of you that will make you strong

Embrace your flaws

I'm not gonna fight back what I've become

Yeah, I've got bruises where I came from

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

I've been going way too hard on myself

Guess that it's the reason that I'm feeling like hell

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

I went down a road that only got me nowhere

I've seen every corner, every inch of this place

Being all alone it really got me thinking

Maybe overthinking

That what is lost ain't gone

No, you can't just let go

'Cause it's a part of you that will make you strong

Embrace your flaws

I'm not gonna fight back what I've become

Yeah, I've got bruises where I came from

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

I've been going way too hard on myself

Guess that it's the reason that I'm feeling like hell

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

Hide these beautiful scars

Hide these beautiful scars

I'm not gonna fight back what I've become

Yeah, I've got bruises where I came from

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

I've been going way too hard on myself

Guess that it's the reason that I'm feeling like hell

But I wouldn't change if I could restart

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars

Hide these

I ain't gonna hide these

Hide these

Hide these beautiful scars

No

[amorprofano]

Todos somos #skywalkers #elcieloenvos #photofrompinterest

[thestrangekidd]

Stolen Dance (Alex Brandt's Saxual Edit) - Milky Chance 

Seem to love the saxophone more and more 

[issawrites]

I deserve a love that I don't have to question.

I don't want to love another person. I don't want another goodbye.

Make me feel that you will never let me forget how much you love me.

I love you so much. I love you with all my heart... I have so much of you in my heart. Please don't waste this love, our second chance.

—

Mahal kita, sobra. Alam kong darating ang araw na masasaktan akong muli. Handa akong masaktan dahil mahal na mahal kita.

Sa pangalawang pagkakataon, kaya kong mahalin kang muli ng buong buo. Kaya kong kalimutan lahat lahat ng nangyari.

At sa pagkakataong ito, nais kong itama natin lahat lahat ng mga nagawa nating mali. Sa bawat desisyong haharapin, nais kong hawak kamay pa rin tayo. Na sa bawat problema, nais kong pag-usapan natin lahat ng maayos at mahinahon.

Alam kong kahit anong pilit kong iwasan ang mga bagay na hindi na dapat pang binabalikan pa, darating pa rin ang panahon na hindi ko maiiwasang maalala ang lahat at pagkatapos, malulungkot ako. Huwag mo sana akong hayaang malunod sa sarili kong mga iniisip. Yakapin mo ako, at sabihing mahal na mahal mo ako at hinding hindi mo na ako iiwan.

...

Ngunit kung muling paghihiwalayin ng tadhana, pipilitin ko nang kalimutan ka. Pipilitin ko nang bumitaw. Pipilitin ko nang palayain ang sarili ko sa pagmamahal na hindi na dapat pang patagalin pa. Pipilitin ko nang hindi na muling umibig pa.

[issawrites]

Who am I in the eyes of most people?

[issawrites]

WHAT LOVE REALLY MEANS - JJ Heller

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He's the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night

Dear God, won't you please

Could you send someone here who will love me?

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means, what love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She's the woman whose husband has run away

She'll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner then he would've stayed

And she says

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means, what love really means

He's waiting to die as he sits all alone

He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said,

I know you've murdered and I know you've lied

And I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you'll listen I'll, I'll tell you that I

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

Love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

[issawrites]

ERASE YOU - Catrien Maxwell

You were laughing when I met you 

And you still do 

Remember when I was the apple of your eye? 

The center of your attention 

Is still the best place I've ever been in 

But nothing ever stays the same 

Someday I might 

Cross the street when we're on the same side 

Just to skip the "How are you?" "I'm fine" 

But I'll love you all my life 

And this heart will not erase you 

This heart will not erase you 

I know someday you'll buy a little diamond ring 

But it won't be for my finger 

And I know someday your child will hear you sing 

But I won't be there 

Someday I might 

Cross the street when we're on the same side 

Just to skip the "How are you?" "I'm fine" 

But I'll love you all my life 

And this heart will not erase you 

This heart will not erase you 

And I see the life you can't 

The life we could have lived 

Holding hands in rocking chairs 

Old and gray, I'd love you still 

Someday I might 

Cross the street when we're on the same side 

Just to skip the "How are you?" "I'm fine" 

But I'll love you all my life 

And this heart will not erase you 

This heart will not erase you 

This heart will not erase you 

My heart cannot erase you

[issawrites]

I wanted to go home . . . somewhere

[issawrites]

Infatuate me.

[issawrites]

What if he does?

[issawrites]

Maybe someday.

[issawrites]

I know what's happening.

[issawrites]

"I hate being lied straight to my face when I know every bit of the truth."