#phillipshead

[thaty0shi]

this is the absolute truth there is barely a phillipshead in my posession that isn't even mildly stripped

the fact that philips head (or crosshead for laymans) screws are the universal standard even though they strip so fuckin easily is insane. flat head screwdriver bitches rise up

[marsmarvel02]

"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 4

Welcome back and welcome again to my review/riffing (riffview?) of "What Manny Can't Fix", a really bad Handy Manny fanfic!

Today, we're covering Chapter 4. If you'd like to start reading my review from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.

Chapter 4

The trio of tools headed over. 

The hacksaw had a broken red handle, and was missing most of the teeth on his saw. 

On his blade, you mean.

The Phillips head was a mustard yellow with a band of dark blue around her, and her blade completely bent to the left.

Isn’t it interesting how saws and screwdrivers both have “blades”, which are completely different parts of them?

No? Just me?

The paintbrush was an average looking builder paintbrush, unlike the other two she looked brand new, and not damaged in any way. There were still bits of cling wrap wrapped around her bristles as well.

The screwdriver went over to him first. “Hablas español?” [“Do you speak Spanish?”]

I’d almost forgotten that there was supposed to be Spanish in this. 

“Oh uh...Si...a little...I mean...un poquito [a little]...that’s right, right?” Turner asked.

“Do you speak English?” She asked next.

“Yeah…I’m a lot better at that…” Turner replied.

“I thought so.” She laughed slightly.

“You okay, kid?” The hacksaw asked.

“Who are you calling kid?” Turner asked.

The hacksaw laughed. “You still seem pretty new, you’ve still got a shiny coat of paint.”

The dialogue in this used to be “unspectacular but not atrocious either”, but lately it’s just been going down the tubes. 

Turner glared a bit.

“A bit?” You either glare or you don’t.

“What are you doing out here anyways?” The hacksaw asked. “We don’t see a lot of other tools out here.”

“I was doing a repair and uh….kinda sorta...got left behind…”

“Oh, so you were abandoned too, eh?” The hacksaw chuckled. 

“Hey!” Turner snapped. “I was not abandoned!”

“Then why are you out here, alone, at night?”

Hey, there was a part like this in a TBLT fanfic… I think.

“I already told you! I accidentally got left behind!”

The hacksaw got closer. “You really think if your owner cared about you, he’d let you be left behind.”

“Well uh...I...I mean…”

“And I’m guessing he didn’t even come back for you?”

“...No…” Turner sighed.

“Just as I thought.” The hacksaw said, wrapping his blade around Turner’s back. “Don’t be sad, kid. The owner life isn't as great as you think. It’s much better being your own tool than being held back by a human.”

“I guess I never thought about it before…” Turner said, looking away.

“Why don’t you stay with us, kid?” The hacksaw asked. “We look out for each other.”

“I...I...I don’t know…” Turner said, anxiously.

“Where else would you go?” The hacksaw asked.

Turner paused for a moment.

“That’s what I thought.” The hacksaw laughed. “Just stay with us kid, it’s a lot better than being out here all alone.”

“Si.” Said the Phillipshead screwdriver. “And you don’t seem like the kind of tool who could make it on their own out here.” She added with a smirk.

“I could too!” Turner protested.

“Sure you could….” She teased, hopping over to him. “Until you run into another bat.”

Turner winced a bit and backed away from her.

“Come on, we ain’t so bad.” The hacksaw said. “If you stick around with us, you’ll be safe.”

Turner let out a hesitant sigh. “Fine...I guess I can stay with you…for a while…”

“Welcome to the gang, kid!” The hacksaw proclaimed. “I’m Teeth!”

How creative.

“I’m Twist.” The Phillipshead said.

“And I’m Swift!” Said the paintbrush.

Why… is a paintbrush… named “Swift”?

“I’m Turner….why are you guys out here anyways?”

“I was a woodworker’s saw.”-

Um, hacksaws are for cutting metal.

-Teeth said. “After one project too many my handle chipped and some of the teeth of my blade wore out.”-

Hacksaw blades are replaceable. They have to be, since cutting metal dulls blades quickly and it would be wasteful to have to throw out the whole tool once that happened.

-”He wanted to replace me, so I left before he could shove me into the scrap metal bin….but not before I gave him a nasty cut on the hand!”

Paging Stephen Kozeniewski… paging Stephen Kozeniewski… 

(Will anyone get this joke?)

He let out a laugh that brought a similar shiver to Turner like The Queen’s voice had.

Don’t remind me of that!

“My little brother”-

Who is very definitely not going to turn out to be Felipe.

-”and I worked together doing bike repairs.” Twist said. “One day, too much weight was put on my blade and it snapped to the left….so I got out before I could be thrown away. I met Teeth and he let me stay with him. I’m sure my brother’s glad I’m gone...now he can be the star screwdriver...just like he always wanted.”

Swift approached Turner. “I was in a hardware shop for years .”-

And here we have another element that doesn’t make sense since the humans know the tools are alive.

-“No one even looked my way, so I decided I didn’t want to stay there anymore. So when it was closing time I sneaked out,-

SNUCK out!

-and ran into these two. I’m a lot happier out here than I was sitting in there.”

“See, you’re no different than us.” Teeth said, wrapping his blade against Turner again. “Humans did you wrong too.”

“I...I mean...I guess…” Turner said, frowning slightly. “..but...Mr Grover…”

“Humans are trash, amigo.”-

Do I actually need to translate “amigo”? I’m pretty sure everyone knows that it means “friend”...

-Twist said. “They think they’re better than us….but I doubt they’d be able to do anything without us….I’d like to see one of them turn a phillips head screw into a slot…”  She looked at Turner’s blade. “....Or a flathead screw…”

Okay, that’s actually kind of a funny mental image.

“I mean...you’re right….Mr Grover couldn’t have done all those repairs without me!” Turner realized.

“And yet he was still foolish enough to forget you.” Teeth said. “Just like a human…”

“My platform has only one plank: Humans stink and they always stank!”

He turned to the other tools. “Come on, let’s show Turner our humble abode.”

Teeth lead them to four trash cans lined up together. Underneath was an old blanket and pieces of cloth.-

Wow, an environment with something resembling a description!

-Nearby was a small pile of food they had gathered, hidden behind one of the trash can lids. 

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about something I need to explain.

So, the tools in Handy Manny are not only able to eat (somehow), they actually need to eat. 

This raises about twenty gazillion questions, but I’d like to just point out one thing- the tools are never shown to produce any kind of excrement (thank GOD), which means that matter that they eat is outright erased from existence.

This has very bad implications for the universe of Handy Manny, if you stop to think about it for a second.

“Uh...nice place you got here…” Turner said hesitantly, as he looked around.

“It’s a lot better than any other place you’d be able to find on your own.” Teeth huffed out. He folded over one of the pieces of fabric. “Here, you can sleep here, kid.”

Turner hopped over and snuggled in between the pieces of fabric.

Twist hopped over. “I guess we’re compañeros de cuarto, roommates, now.” She got into the piece of fabric placed next to Turner’s.

Twist restated a term she’d just said in Spanish in English so I didn’t have to. How thoughtful of her.

“I guess so.” Turner said.

Swift and Teeth got settled in too, and one by one they started to fall asleep….except Turner.

Turner stared up at the sky, watching the stars twinkle brilliantly. I wonder if any of the others are thinking about me?

And that’s the cue for the next chapter (which you can read here) to consist entirely of Bolt, Claspy, and Mr. Grover not caring about what happened to Turner, while Plunker demonstrates that she’s the only one on the team with anything resembling compassion or a conscience.

[tedwetzel]

#thankyou #ifthegovernmentdidanythingright #ifthegovernmentmadescrewdrivers #government #screwdrivers #screw #screws #screwed #phillipshead #flathead #sucker (at 𝕊𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕨𝕖𝕕) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_GTo0kFrem/?igshid=1mjsjyxs5s68n

[ahedderick]

Tools

   There’s a rope that has been hanging in the oak tree for a few years. It has knots along it to help with climbing. I want to take it down now and repurpose it, but the knots are very tight and stubborn. When I tried to untie some of them a couple days ago I got nowhere fast, and ended up thinking “I need a marlinspike.” Then, with the rope in both hands, I had a ten-second language-nerd space-out about how cool the word ‘marlinspike’ is and how tickled I was to finally be able to use it in a sentence.

   However, I do not have a marlinspike, nor are there any old-timey nautical supply stores anywhere nearby. It turns out, though, that you can use a small phillipshead screwdriver as a marlinspike with at least moderate success. I untied half the knots this afternoon, and I’ll get a step ladder and have another go at it tomorrow morning.

   It’s been a day of tidying up small projects, including some banking (yuk), a dress fitting for my daughter, grocery shopping (yuk), buying auto parts, and weeding. While we were out doing errands, with her driving to get more practice in town, a man stopped us to tell me her left brake light was out. We were able to fit that right in with the other errands, and my son showed her how to replace brake lights on an elderly Toyota. That may be the FASTEST any broken thing has ever been fixed around here.

   Now if I can just untie the rest of those darned knots. And mend one more dress. . . . . .

Fix it up

Wear it out

Make it do

Or do without

[mythgirlimagines]

Google Docs just corrected my spelling of a pokemon’s name correctly. I remember back in the day when it would autocorrect “pokemon” to like “phillipshead” or something like that. We’ve come full circle

[griftersbone]

gonna purposefully sabotage the overhead speaker in the breakroom all I need is a Phillipshead screwdriver and some scissors to cut the shit out of some wires oh and a chair but there's plenty of those in here

[kyidyl]

If Dr. Who can solve his problems with the equivalent of a phillipshead with the internet on it, then you can fix the problem in front of you with the tools at your disposal. Not saying you can make your life perfect, just that every problem has a solution and you just need to find it.

[leolaroot]

i stg i didnt do that we found it like that in my car all chewed out right next to a perfectly unharmed matching phillipshead like as if to prove to me it wasnt just a rivet. we got it out with the impact driver thank god but it was like so funny.

hurting her

[angellvpr-blog]

No ones screws you more than yourself and your own negative thoughts. Stay positive and take everything as a learning experience, that will make you a better human being. . . . . #photography #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #bnwlife #bnw_zone #bnw_city #bnwphotography #bnw_society #bnw_city_streetlife #bnw_captures #bnw_greatshots #bnw_magazine #passion_for_bnw #picturetokeep_bnw #screws #intothewood #phillipshead #moca #losangeles #iphonephotography #iphone7plus #travel #imagination #roadtrip (at MOCA | The Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles)

[dante-heller]

A flathead screwdriver would not penetrate that deeply into a human leg. A Phillipshead would have more penetration power in it to actually penetrate that deep.

That's through bone too, Teddy, you can't just slap that out and be fine. Your bone is completely fucked if you do it like that. There should be no fight scene afterwards, especially not one where you cock an axe like it's going to actually matter.

[squakamole2018]

LMAO this b the shit i was talkin bout in the discord earlier

who is philip and where’s he gettin all this head from 😳

[transwarcriminal]

I need a small Phillipshead screwdriver please someone help

[formerlyashkatom]

@solluxisms replied to your post: my Anxiety Activity for today while my cat was at...

I didn’t even realize that was a thing you could reasonably do.

Yeah, as long as the stick mechanism itself isn’t broken, it’s no harder than changing keycaps on a keyboard! I think the wireless controller has proprietary screws, but the wired one just needs a regular Phillipshead - there’s one screw sneakily hidden behind a sticker, but other than that you just jimmy it open, yank off the old analogue sticks, and pop on the new ones. Everything inside is even set up so that you basically can’t put it back on the wrong way! Bless these engineers, tbh.

[tookishcombeferre]

“Egos start most wars, Dr. Evil.” She grins biting her lower lip to keep from laughing.

“I’m surprised yours hasn’t yet,” I mutter under my breath as I continue to tinker with the trap door beneath the stage.

“What did you say you great booby?” She laughs, “Was that sarcasm? Noooo I corrupted you!”

“Zara, I wasn’t being sarcastic.” I turn around and grab one of the bolts. “We actually did start a war. Or maybe, we didn’t start it. But, we’re in one all the same. And, you are the reason I’m on the right side of the war. I could be an Academy assassin, but I’m not. I’m here fixing and making an emergency exit under a stage. So, your ego did technically start a war?”

“Well, not really my ego, it was more my self-preservation.” She laughs as she hands me the Phillipshead screwdriver.

“Isn’t it the same thing?” I ask my voice waivering slightly.

“No! Not really. Ego is like when you’re really like overly full of your self. I was explaining why I thought the war started after you asked. Then, I thought you made a joke because I can be pretty dramatic.” She giggles. “But, when you interpret it the way you did, I guess you’re spot on.”

“Thanks, Zara.” I push up on the trap door and it finally opens without creaking or collapsing. “I get it now.”

“Any time, E. Any time.” She hoists herself up through the door and offers me her hand.

“Egos start most wars.”

“I’m surprised yours hasn’t yet.”

[ahedderick]

Ending April

   This morning I put a Phillipshead screwdriver in my pocket, grabbed Grandpa’s daily whiskey ration (sheesh) and the dogs and I strolled down the road. We’ll see what we’ll see.

The pot-bound witchhazel I found lurking, forgotten, in the old corral was a real bear to transplant. It had grown sizeable roots out through the holes in the bottoms of the pot - all five of them - and I had to root prune it way more than I wanted to. It’s been in the ground about a week, now, and tentatively looks like it’s tough enough to make it.

  Today’s challenge will be turning an overgrown area of the yard into a small garden near his porch that he can see easily even on days when he doesn’t feel well enough to walk around the farm. I started on Monday with something as overgrown as this:

And dug out all the weeds. I found surprisingly good soil.

The thing that was bugging me MOST was that, when he had the porch rebuilt in 2019, they just built right over a beautiful bleeding heart plant that’s nearly as old as I am. It’s back behind that latticework! Last summer it came up weakly and managed to stick some leaves outside the lattice to barely survive. This year I’m rescuing it.

She’s in there BLOOMING! My heart is breaking! Hang on, dear, I’m on my way.

   Turns out it is somewhat creepy standing inside there. The dirt was bone dry; I don’t know how on earth this plant is still alive. Plus I found two living ferns just sprouting.

Ok; I know how bad this looks, but I trimmed the top greenery, covered the roots with the lightest, best soil I had, and gave it a good watering. Also shoved some random bluebells in in front of it. It is a rainy day that is perfect for transplants; it will either live or die.

Apr 29, 2021

[rametarin]

Considering AI superpowers.

So I was sitting here idly tapping a phillipshead to a flathead screwdriver, listening to the metal clink together. Annnnd.. it occurred to me.

Future AI could theoretically have such an advanced and specific library of acoustic noises based on wavelength and frequency that they could recognize everything about the source of the sounds in question, in accurate ways humans just simply cannot possibly imagine.

The same way a machine with the proper photosensitivity sensors could tell literal hundreds of billions of different shades in the RGB spectrum, infra red and ultraviolet spectrums. Not by name, but by code.

Only, logically, an AI with sensitive enough ears could probably tell you the sizes and geometry of the objects hitting one another, their material/metal/mineral composition. their distance. They could tell one individual model of car from that exact same model of car.

Like. I have pretty good hearing. I can discern familiar people’s unique foot steps by the patterns they walk and the sound of their footfalls. But I have human ears. If I had human intelligence but dog, or cat, or something else’s absolutely ridonkulous sensitivity and pattern recognition and memory, then I’d never be caught flatfooted.

Even the unique sounds of a person breathing, though we think them silent, create noise. Possibly, a machine with sensitive enough instruments could hear our breathing and pumping of blood the way we hear industrial steam pipes blowing. Unmissable. Clear as day. As distinctive in pattern and pitch as our own voices.

There’s even lasers now that can be used to eavesdrop on audible conversations from near 300 feet away. So getting such a fine and distinct pattern for sampling is no big problem or issue. Everything has a distinct enough sound.

Kind of amazing if you think about it. Imagine being able to pick out a friend’s idling engine sound and triangulate its position in a pitch black parking lot.