#pfft tumblr tags r so funny

[befrilled]

does anyone want to play shopping and dressing up with me through tumblr polls ????

i.e

then once selected it'll get more niche till u guys decide what i get?? could be cute ........

[samissosexyyy]

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,,  did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you,  so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

[eatingthem-moved]

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @sunsreign​ thank u hun !! I’m tagging UMMM @onsand​ @denbroughsguilt​ @crowncd​ @cometogethcr​ and everyone else ! i just tagged the people who’ve shown up in my notifs recently lol

FIRST NAME My name off tumblr is Calee ! (said like kay-lee) i really don’t mind if you call my by my first name or by my pen name, either works! i just don’t post my first name anywhere on my blog really lol

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF strange?? hmmm i have a ton of stuffed animals for an 18 y/o probably... like a ton. and i still buy them cause i love them ;m;

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON Hair !! also arms... (like the biceps) aaaaand lips, probably 

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF chili verde smothered burritos !! specifically the ones from my favorite restaurant ohmygod they’re soooooo good. and their chips and salsa too

A FOOD YOU HATE TOMATOES R GROSS

GUILTY PLEASURE fuuuuck. buying stuff, probably. like makeup and video games and books and movies and all that good stuff.

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN t shirt and pj pants. shorts if it’s in the summer, and a sweater in winter.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS welp im in a serious relationship rn but if i was single i’d still prefer a serious one !

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE askjdlkasjdlsj not getting back with my ex when we initially broke up, probably. he’s GROSS

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON verbally i am ! i always tell my friends i love them and that i enjoy talking to them in stuff. physically i don’t really like cuddling or kissing my bf unless we’re in private

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage aslkdjslakjdlskja LISTEN. i loooove this movie and if u haven’t seen it i totes recommend that you do!!! it’s honestly one of his bests and it makes me cry every time it. ALSO John Carpenter’s The Thing !!!!! i grew up watching that movie and it’s one of my favorites 

FAVORITE BOOK Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and also Misery by Stephen King! 

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE A COW I LOVE COWS. or a big cat like a tiger. OR a raccoon. could go either way.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] HA. hannibal/will and uhhhh. that’s. probably. it. sladjslakjd listen i haven’t really watched a show since hannibal has ended lol. but! more ships with hannibal include him and poppy with @gardenshe <33 hannibal/matthew brown. um. idk more ppl should ship with me tho <.<

PIE OR CAKE CAKE. with some sort of mousse pls. or a ton of whipped cream!

FAVORITE SCENT ooh uhh. apples and cinnamon maybe?? ooh or baking bread

CELEBRITY CRUSH *SLAMS FIST* kurt russell all the way, dude. i LOVE him, i would marry him in a heartbeat. also dean martin and james franco. AND MILA KUNIS

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO So, I live in Utah, United States BUT i was actually born in Oregon, United States and just UGH. i love it there so much. it’s always so rainy and it’s close to the ocean and the trees and flowers are so beautiful. it feels like im home when im there !! but besides that, i’d go to canada to see my totally blood brothers jason and quinton @cometogethcr <33

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Ah funny enough im an introvert off of tumblr lol. im.. really awkward off the keyboard. and i feel like i’ve gotten even shyer and more insecure the older i get, which is funny because from the way it sounds it seems like that’s usually the opposite circumstance?? idk. hopefully i don’t weird u guys out on here tho lol

DO YOU SCARE EASILY yea lol i can get a little jumpy but i love scary movies still! but sometimes my bf scares me from around the corner and i get super mad at him lmao

IPHONE OR ANDROID i’ve got me an iphone but i wish i had an android ;m; i’d love me one of those brand new samsung phones.... (oh god now im going to be spammed with ads)

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES i do!! i play minecraft a ton (u should ask me to play with u sometime <.<) but i also like story games! i grew up playing the sly cooper franchise ! (i made a blog for sly cooper one actually!) but i also really really like the evil within, outlast, dishonored, and a ton of indie games on steam

DREAM JOB like uhh, how dreamy we talkin’?? my ULTIMATE dream job would probably be a movie director, but that’s probably not going to happen lol. otherwise, im going for a criminal justice degree, so my dream job pertaining to that would either be a homicide detective or a crime historian !

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS ahhh. move to oregon with my mom, bf, and my pets by the ocean. then buy a ton of movies to add to my dvd collection. and video games. and a nice car. umm. go to a beautiful restaurant! then i dunno after that lol 

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE aw jeez alksdlakjd ummm. im not. a huge fan of alana from hannibal. idk i don’t think her character is written very well (but im still happy to write with an alana blog!) also light from death note. ohhhhh god. i hated him SO MUCH ALKSDLSAJD

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER pfft. supernatural, doctor who, sherlock. the werks. probably more but i can’t think of any

[whatsuppeople]

98 Questions

 tagged by @slowtofu​!!! ty sm!!!!

Gonna be under the cut since its lengthy .. . .

1. full name: Peach “Captain“ flowerhalo

2. nicknames: Cap for short, Cappy for medium!

3. birthday: July 3!

4. age: 18

5. zodiac star sign: cancer

6. moon sign: idk

7. ascendant: i swear you guys are just making this this up at this point omg

8. venus: ok the thing about these signs is that they expect u to know ur exact birth time which is weird and also i dont wanna ask my mom pfft

9. gender: female

10. pronouns: she/her (they/them is ok too)

11. sexuality: 🅱️isexual

12. myer-briggs type: i could never remember tbh

13. relationship status: unfortunately and unbelievably single but sometimes i like to pretend im married to my favorite fictional characters

14. best friend: oof ngl best friend asks make me sad bc idk who actually considers me as their best friend :’)))

15. religion: Hello Kitty is the only god

16. favorite color: purple and pink!

17. favorite music genre: im not picky i love alot of them

18. favorite band/artist: too many!

19. favorite song: too many!!! but fly me too the moon probably or some cute future funk song

20. favorite holiday: Thanksgiving tbh!!!! yum yum yum! Xmas is good too

21. favorite tv show: mMMMM like. actual shows or cartoons or

22. favorite youtuber: harshlycritical/john wolfe

23. favorite perfume/cologne: idk what its called but theres this one i like from rue 21 i think

24. favorite season: hhhhh idk 

25. favorite flower: aLL OF THEM UR BEAUTIFUL!!!!

26. favorite gemstone: i dont have one but i think theyre pretty!!

27. favorite roller coaster: ur funny 1 im scared of roller coasters 2 i dont go to amusement parks enough to even have a favorite 

28. favorite fruit: FRUIT IS SO GOOD i love alot of them. . .grapes, cherries, mangos, peaches, apples.. .  .

29. favorite vegetable: ngl. . . .corn

30. favorite icecream flavor: cookies and cream!

31. favorite candy: anything sweet

32. favorite restaurant: no one ever takes me out so 

33. favorite fast food restaurant: idk alot of fast food makes me sick

34. favorite starburst flavor: watermelone

35. favorite pizza topping: keep it plain babey!!!! but pepperoni and/or hamburger

36. favorite chip flavor: cheese tbh

37. favorite non-alcoholic beverage: tea probably! i also love soda

38. favorite alcoholic beverage: i dont drink bc im underaged

39. favorite video game: i love too many games but @ kender tboi is so good thats a good choice

40. favorite board game: not rlly a bored game but uno si good

41. favorite city: your funny

42. favorite dog breed: ALL DOGS ARE GOOD!!!!!!

43. favorite animal: mmm bats, dogs, cats, the list goes on

44. favorite number: uhhh

45. coffee or tea: tea!!! tea!! i love tea!!!

46. vanilla or chocolate: vanilla!

47. leather or denim: OOOF both r good on jackets 

48. short or long sleeves: short sleeves

49. patterned or plain: depends

50. floral or plaid: floral!!!!!

51. black or white: black liek any true goth

52. makeup or no makeup: none!! make up makes me feel ugly :( i like lipstick and lipgloss tho

53. tumblr or twitter: i used both but i use tumblr more

54. facebook or snapchat or instagram: all r bad but snapchat i guess

55. phone or tablet or computer: im currently on my laptop

56. liberal or conservative: why would i be conservative lol

57. sunrises or sunsets: BOTH R PRETTY,,,

58. are you vegetarian: tbh i love meat too much

59. are you vegan: no

60. are you allergic to anything: cheap lotions :( they immediately make me break out rlly badly 

61. are you polyamorous: mmmm i wanna say no but i might feel differently i were given the chance to be in one

62. have you been out of state: no :( we enevr go anywhere

63. have you been out of country: no

64. have you kissed a boy: no

65. have you kissed a girl: no

66. have you kissed an enby: im crying ive never kissed anyone 

67. have you broken a bone: god no

68. have you been to the emergency room: i think twice when i was a little kid, i dont remember it though

69. have you ever been high: no

70. have you ever been drunk: no

71. have you ever been in a band or choir: no

72. have you ever catfished someone: no

73. do you have any siblings: 1 sister

74. do you live with your parents: yeye

75. do you have more than 100 followers: yeah,,,

76. do you have more than 1,000 followers: :(

77. do you have more than 10,000 followers: :(

78. do you smoke weed: no

79. do you drink: 

80. do you have a job: 

81. do you own any musician/youtuber merch: im currently wearing a Pink Nirvanna shirt!!!!

82. do you have any internet friends: of course!!!!!!

83. do you play any instruments: no but i wish i did

84. where did you go/are you going to college: this small community college

85. college major: i wish i knew

86. names of all your group chats: KIRA KUIIN DAISAN NO BAKUDAN BAITSA DASUTO has my fav 2 nerds

87. tap the middle autofill button 10 times: im sorry but i would not do this tag game on mobile

88. what time zone do you live in: central i think!!!

89. your best friend’s sign:  hhh

90. your 2nd, 3rd, and 4th closest friends’ signs: (no particular order!!!) Sagittarius, Capricorn, Leo x 2, Aries, Pisces x 2

91. your crush’s sign: hhhh i dont have a crush and even if i were to pick i feel like itd be obvious/awkward so 

92. your mom’s sign: Virgo!

93. your dad’s sign: Gemini!

94. your sibling(s)’ sign(s):  Aquarius!

95. your enemy’s sign: i dont have any enemy like if u think i have time to worry about them ur wrong!!!!! but its an aries lmao

96. your ex(s)’ sign(s): dont

97. an ex best friend’s sign: BITCHQUARIUS!

98. tag 5 people to participate: not tagging anyone but if u wanna do this consider urself tagged!!!

ngl i dont expect anyone to read this like. at all but if u did thank u! 🌹