#pete i get you want to stand close to patrick but he’s gotta be able to play his guitar!!!!

[andoutofharm]

anyway here’s pete standing so close to patrick during lftos that patrick keeps nearly hitting him while trying to play

[andbeingblueisbetter]

Secrets

Request: Could you write something where the reader is one of the members of fob's little sister, and Brendon and her meet while Panic! is touring with fob and they have to be secretive cause her brother would want to kill Brendon if he found out (and he does find out at some point haha)

A/N: two things, sorry this literally took months to get up,I don’t have an excuse really, I suck. Two, I don’t know much about fob at all, I know their names and I know some music, so I’ll try my best with that part, but I don’t think it’ll matter too much. Three things I guess, I kind of changed the request a little bit, just for it to work out the best for how I can write it. Anyway, enjoy :)

Warnings: slight sexual themes, swearing

Word count: 1.8k

It was 2 in the morning and you were sat out behind the tour buses with Brendon, a blunt between his fingers that you were sharing. You’d known Brendon for a while, through your brother Pete, but it wasn’t until this tour that you two realized how much you clicked with each other. You both had gone through similar struggles in life, and shared a lot of the same interests meaning you both always had something to talk about.

Brendon passes you the blunt and you take a hit, leaning your head against the back of the bus, letting out a soft laugh, “If Pete knew we were out here together. Alone. He’d kill me. Or you.” You shrug, taking another hit from the blunt, passing it back to Brendon, and you notice him staring, “what?” You laugh and move your body so you’re facing him. He shakes his head, looking back up at you, “you’re just really pretty, that’s all.” He smiles and looks back down.

Your cheeks turn red, it’s dark out, but not dark enough where you were for it to cover the color of your cheeks, “Oh,” you smile and look away from him, “well thank you. I think you’re very handsome too.” You follow, laughing quietly and playing with the bottom of your T-shirt, shivering at the breeze. You watch as Brendon pulls of his flannel and you shake your head, “Nope, you’re going to get cold.” You laugh as he wraps it around you and the overwhelming scent of him fills your nose and you sigh happily. Brendon was sat closer to you now and you look back up at him as he takes a drag from the blunt and he turns back to you, your faces just inches apart, “Would you be mad at me if I kissed you right now?” He asks you softly and you shake your head, whispering a small “no” to him, and with that he begins to lean in to kiss you.

His lips press to yours softly and you begin to move your lips with his. He tastes faintly of peppermint chapstick you watched him apply earlier, the taste cools your lips as you further the kiss. You see his hand reaching in the corner of your eye, and he places his hand on your neck, just where it connects with your shoulder, you mimic his actions, reaching your opposite hand up and running his through his soft hair.

Unfortunately your oxygen begins to run out and you pull away, licking your lips, “I should probably go back to the bus. Incase Pete wakes up.” You mumble awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact with Brendon, which was difficult because of how close you were still sitting with each other.

“Are you okay?” He asks as you stand up, pulling Brendon’s flannel of your arms and handing it back to him, sliding your shoes back on.

You nod and start to walk away, looking back at him, “I’m fine. Just whatever you do, don’t say anything about this to Pete. He’ll be pissed.” You say, pulling the door of the bus open, stepping in quietly and walking to your bunk, above Pete’s.

“Y/n? Where were you?” You hear Pete ask and you curse to yourself, climbing up into your bunk.

“I went for a walk, couldn’t sleep.” You say simply and pull your blanket over you, closing your eyes, ignoring Pete’s response.

—

You wake up to the sound of the bus door slamming shut and you stretch, rubbing your eyes softly.

“Patrick, is Pete here?” You hear Brendon ask, and you don’t hear a response from him, but you’re assuming he says no because you hear Brendon sit down and begin to talk.

“I kissed Y/n last night.” Brendon whispers and you shake your head, your heart beginning to race, “and I don’t think she liked it? Because she just left right away after and it was weird, but I’ve been wanting to do it for so long and I think I might’ve ruined everything and I don’t know.” Brendon finishes and you can’t quite hear Patrick’s response, but you hop down from your bunk and walk out into the main area where Patrick and Brendon were sat, pulling your sweatshirt on over your tank top, “morning.” You mumble out, walking to the Keurig to start a cup of coffee.

Brendon stands up and comes to stand closer to you, “can we talk later? Tonight after the show maybe?” He asks softly, waiting for your response.

“Yeah I guess so, we’ll just have to wait until Pete’s asleep, he wasn’t last night.” You respond and is if on queue, the door opens and Pete, Josh, Joe, Tyler and Andy come in the door with two boxes, “we got donuts!” Pete shouts excitedly, throwing them down onto the table in front of him, Brendon instinctively moving away slightly from you.

“You’re a little close to Y/n there don’t you think Brendon?” Pete says, half joking as Brendon backs away, plopping onto the chair and grabbing a donut.

—

You walk through the back halls of the venue, trying to find Brendon for what seems like hours. You finally reach the door that says “Panic!” on it and you knock softly, receiving permission to come in shortly after. You walk in and you make eye contact with Brendon, and he realized what you were saying, “Hey, can you guys leave for a few minutes?” He asks his bandmates and they all stand up, walking out of the room to God knows where.

“Zack said the busses are leaving right after the show tonight, we probably won’t be able to talk then, so I figured I guess now would have to do.” You walk over to the chair in front of the mirror, sitting next to Brendon who had just finished signing posters to give to fans, “you wanted to talk though, so go for it.”

“You gave me permission to kiss you. But now you’re acting weird about it, and just acting like it never happened, but I don’t feel the same, I didn’t want it to be just a one time thing.”

You sigh and look down at your hands that were sat in your lap, “I like you. That’s why I let you kiss me, but I don’t know if things can go any further. Pete wouldn’t like it, he’d try to stop it.”

“He doesn’t have to know.” He says simply, walking over to his suitcase and grabbing out a T-shirt to change in to. He pulls his sweatshirt off, revealing his chest and you turn your head away as he pulls the black T-shirt on.

You shake your head and scoff, “he’d find out. All of us will be together for the next two months, we rarely have a second alone.”

“It seems like you’re just reluctant for this to happen. If you don’t want to, I’ll back off, but Y/n, I like you. That’s why I kissed you, so if you want to give it a shot, I think we should.”

You stand up from your chair and walk towards the door to leave, leaning against the wall, “okay, but we can’t let Pete know, at least not yet. And no mention of any of it to anybody. I know you already told Patrick, but nobody else.”

He nods and follows you towards the door, moving so he’s close to you, leaning in to kiss your lips. He pulls away after a moment and looks at you, “you’re gorgeous, Y/n. I gotta go, sound check is soon.”

—

You let out a quiet moan against Brendon’s lips as he kissed you, backing you up against the counter in the bus. Everyone had gone out for drinks after the show, but you and Brendon came up with a stupid reason as to why you couldn’t join them.

You two had been secretly dating for about a month and a half now, and luckily Pete still wasn’t on to you guys. Yet. Patrick has slipped it to Josh and Tyler, so almost everybody knew now, but you thought you were safe.

Brendon broke his lips away from yours to pull his shirt off, as he did that you shrugged your cardigan off your shoulders and pulled your T-shirt over your head, “Brendon.” You mumbled out as he began to kiss you again, “this might be a bad idea.” You mumble, pulling away from his lips.

“Why? We’re alone, I doubt any of them will be back for a while, and Pete will be shitfaced anyway when he gets back, I think we’re okay.” Brendon said hopefully, tilting his head to place light kisses on your neck and you moan softly nodding towards him, “okay, okay.”

You bite your lip softly and he trails soft kisses down your neck and onto your collar bone, tilting your head back gently. The feeling of pleasure, though, is interrupted when the door of the bus swings open. You pull away from Brendon quickly, bringing your arms up to your chest once you realize that it’s Pete that had just walked in. You let out a soft sigh and look up at Brendon, and then move your focus back to Pete, who was just beginning to yell, “Y/n Y/m/n Wentz! What the hell are you doing with him?” Pete yells at you, and before you even have a chance to answer, he begins to yell at Brendon, “and you! I thought I could trust you not to corrupt my little sister! I told you not to try anything on her, she’s 5 years younger than you Brendon!”

“She’s also an adult who can make her own decisions! She doesn’t need her brother to make decisions for her.” Brendon snapped back and you looked up at him, nodding in agreement, “Pete I love you to death. Obviously, but I can make my own decisions. I appreciate that you care about me and that you’re protective of me, but Brendon isn’t bad for me. He’s amazing to me, he treats me so well, he makes me feel cared for and beautiful and loved, Pete. You should be happy that I have somebody who makes me feel like that.” You argue to him, hoping that he realizes that he can’t really argue that point.

“You can say whatever you want, but Y/n you’re still my baby sister. You always will be even when you’re old and married. So it worries me when you end up with somebody that I’ve seen so many different sides of,” He pauses and looks at Brendon, “I believe that he treats you well, I just don’t want you guys being together to ruin the friendship that we all have. And Brendon, you better not break her fuckin’ heart.” He snaps the last part and Brendon nods, placing his arm over your shoulder gently.

“You know I wouldn’t.”

[sunsetinmyvein]

Just Off the Key of Reason - Chapter Eight - Let’s Get This Party Started

Monday, 27th of March, 2007 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Andy’s plan went excellently. After the incident in North Carolina, as much as she wouldn’t admit it, her confidence was definitely shaken a bit. Which was fine, because Patrick was always happy to volunteer to keep her company and make sure she got from A to B safely. They ended up spending almost every moment the band wasn’t on stage together. After their show in Pittsburgh, Pete received an invitation to a party in his honour from a guy who claimed they went to high school together. He reckoned that it was high time to celebrate his “old friend” who had made it big. Pete, not being one to turn down free booze and a good time, accepted immediately, much to the rest of the band’s dismay who had hoped for a quiet night after their gig. They walked into the party and immediately Pete was dragged off by a group of people, he was the man of the hour after all. It wasn’t long before Patrick got recognised too, someone tugging at his arm to follow them. He’d said that he was going to hang out with her and Andy for the night, but he shot her an apologetic look before being enveloped in the mass of people. She went to turn to the remaining two members of the band, seeing that Joe had already left. “Right...” she mumbled as she looked up at the bearded drummer.

“You can go party if you want. I don’t drink anyway.” He shrugged.

“No, I gotta make sure you guys-” Andy raised an eyebrow, “That Pete, doesn’t cost the label money.” She clarified.

“Let’s go find some non-alcoholic beverages and a quiet spot then.” He said with a nod towards the back of the house. They quickly found a stashed bottle of lemonade and claimed it as their own. Eventually they found their way outside and made themselves comfy on the two deck chairs facing the expanse of lawn at the back of the house. “So, are you enjoying the tour?” Andy asked as he took a sip from his plastic cup. She shrugged lightly.

“It’s all right; you guys are fun to hang out with and it’s an awesome experience. I kinda miss home though. It must suck for you guys being away constantly.”

“You get used to it. Living in buses is kind of like camping. Having a girlfriend on tour is hard though... I miss my girl back at home.” He sighed deeply, looking up at the sky for a moment. “Pete has the right idea, as much as he may seem like a bit of a prat for it. It’s easier to break-up with your girlfriend before you leave so that you don’t have to worry about it while you’re away.”

“He does that?” She asked in surprise.

“Yep, almost every time; it’s been the same poor girl for a while now actually. Girls always approach you while you’re touring; they always want something from you. And even if you push them back time and time again it just puts a strain on things. I can’t imagine how she feels knowing I have that constantly...” He shook his head, staring deeply into his cup.

“Hey, if she knows anything at all about you, then she’ll know you’re the most loyal and faithful guy ever.” She reassured, placing a hand on his shoulder. He nodded slightly to himself before looking up at her.

“Thanks. I needed that tonight.” He smiled.

 They chatted for a couple of hours on the back porch, sharing various stories of their home lives, before they were interrupted by Pete’s shouting, which was so loud it could be heard over the music. They waited until they’d heard it a few times before opting to intervene. Upon stepping back inside they saw a drunken Pete stumbling around the lounge room. “Has anyone seen Patrick?” He asked as he grabbed the shoulders of a random stranger.

“I’d better go deal with that.” She excused herself as she weaved through to people to get to the lyricist. “Pete!” She called as she approached him. He spun around and shouted her name in surprise as he pulled her into a tight hug. As quickly as he pulled her in though, he pushed her away, a frantic look in his eyes.

“Have you... have you seen Patrick?” He asked, trying to sound serious but slurring his words.

“I have not. But let’s go find him.” She said, taking his arm to try and keep him balanced.

“Wait,” Andy spoke up as he came over, wrapping an arm around Pete’s shoulders.

“ANDY!” He exclaimed happily. “Have you seen Patrick?” He stumbled slightly on his own feet, even though he was standing still it felt like the floor was moving beneath him. The drummer grabbed his shoulders to steady him.

“I got this one, you go find the other two.” He said as he sat down on the couch, pulling Pete with him so he wouldn’t faceplant into something. She nodded sharply before beginning her search. It wasn’t long before she heard that Joe had found himself a girl and was occupied in an upstairs bedroom. She had hoped that they could leave the party soon but obviously that wasn’t happening now. The search for their lead singer was not quite as easy. Eventually she had resorted to Pete’s methods; asking people if they’d seen the blonde guy with sideburns in the cap. After asking about ten people someone said they thought they saw him leaving out the front door. Leaving? She tried to push open the front door, but it wouldn’t budge. The handle was definitely unlocked, because it turned just fine, but it just wouldn’t push open. She gave an agitated sigh before deciding to walk around the building. After weaving her way through the crowd for a second time she was able to make it to the back door and walk around the side of the house. Eventually as she rounded the corner, she could see what the issue with the door was.

 “Hey.” Patrick smiled drunkenly from his position on the ground as he leaned against the front door. His cap and glasses laid askew on his head, and his messy hair and ruffled jacket gave her the impression he’d probably been dancing at some point in the night.

“Hey. Interesting choice of spot to sit.” She noted as walked over to stand in front of him.

“I...” He hiccupped slightly, adjusting his glasses in the hopes of seeing better, “I was looking for you and Andy. But I felt sick so I sat down.” He explained as he looked at the bush next to him. She assumed he probably was looking at the aftermath of his nausea. He looked up at her and patted the cement stoop next to where he was sitting, inviting her to join him.

“C’mon, we’ll get you a better spot.” She said as she held her hand out to him. He looked at it for a moment, a little part of him thinking he’d probably feel nervous about this situation if he was sober, but he was far from that now. He grabbed her hand and scrambled to his feet, nearly falling straight back down a few times. “Man, how many did you have?” She asked with a huff as she wrapped an arm around his waist to try and support him.

“I don’t... eight? Maybe?” He questioned himself before burping loudly.

“Charming.” She grumbled as she began walking towards the backyard.

“Always.” He grinned as he slung an arm over her shoulder. She looked up at him and felt herself blush. Despite the fact he was wasted, and the stench of cheap beer on his breath that was far too close to her nose for comfort, their current proximity and the smirk on his face still forced her nerves into overdrive.

 She walked him around to where she and Andy had been sitting, placing him carefully in one of the deck chairs. She went to remove her arms from around him once she was sure he was stable, but as she did he caught her hand in his. The gesture caught her off guard, and she wasn’t entirely sure if she should take her hand back or not. The butterflies swirling in her stomach suggested maybe it was okay. She looked down at him to see his eyes had slipped shut, but he was smiling sweetly. “Thanks.” He mumbled as he took off his hat and placed it in is lap.

“It’s no problem, I’m meant to be here to look after you guys.” She explained with a shrug.

“No, you don’t...” he started as he opened his eyes to look at her. He stared at her for a while, trying to formulate the words to get across what he wanted to thank her for. He wanted to thank her for the late nights on the bus, the jokes on the way to interviews, the motivation before shows. But his mouth went dry. Pete was always the one who was good with that stuff, not him. “Thanks.” He repeated as he squeezed her hand lightly for emphasis. She nodded at him, still unsure what to do. Eventually she sat down in the chair next to him, letting their hands fall between them. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad between her and Patrick… But that was a thought for another time, when he wasn’t completely wasted. She pulled her phone out of her pocket with her free hand and texted Andy that she’d found the two missing band members and she had one of them on the porch. She looked over to Patrick to see that he had fallen asleep, mouth half open as he leaned into his shoulder, his hand still tightly gripping hers.

 Andy eventually made his way outside too, a drunken Pete in tow. He looked at their hands for a moment before shooting her a questioning look; she opted to ignore it. It wasn’t much of an issue anyway because as soon as Pete stepped outside, Patrick was wide awake.

“PATRICK!” He shouted with a grin as he saw his friend. The singer awoke with a start, his hands instantly moving to clutch his hat.

“What??” He asked in surprise as his eyes darted around the group.

“I’ve been looking for you all night!” Pete said as he yanked him up out of the chair into a hug. “Where have you been, buddy?” The quick movement instantly made Patrick’s nausea return in full swing.

“Pete, I... I’m gonna hurl.” He choked out. Pete instantly let go as Patrick leaned next to him and threw up into another unsuspecting shrub. He remained kneeled over for a moment, trying to regain his breath.

“Here.” Andy offered as he held out a bottle of water. Patrick nodded as thanks before taking it and sitting (half falling) down on the deck next to where he’d thrown up. She now understood exactly how the door scenario had happened. Pete looked at his friend sadly for a moment, before sitting on the deck next to him.

“Sorry.” He mumbled as he leaned into Patrick.

“S’not your fault.” He slurred as he rested his head on Pete’s shoulder.

 “Why were you trying to find me?” Patrick asked as he looked up at the mop of straightened black hair above him, trying to get his eyes to focus enough so that he could see clearly. Pete thought about this for a long moment, trying to remember why he had been asking everyone where Patrick was.

“Oh! Because… because I wanted to tell you I want to write a song about you!” He remembered, suddenly beaming with excitement at the thought.

“About me? Why?” He frowned.

“Because you’re amazing.” Pete pulled back from leaning on his friend so that he could grab his shoulders and face him. “You’re so great. You’re nice to everyone, and… and…” He started to tear up slightly. “Everyone should be more like my buddy Patrick.” His voice cracked on the ‘trick’ before he pulled him into another hug. Patrick was thoroughly overwhelmed by the gesture, and he was an emotional person at the best of times, let alone after half a bottle of vodka.

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He whimpered, tearing up himself as he hugged Pete back. Andy rolled his eyes before looking over to her confused expression at the drunken front-men hugging on the ground.

“More than half of the parties we go to end like this, he’s yet to write the song.” He explained as he sat on a chair, waiting for them to get it out of their systems. The two of them were close to full-blown bawling at this point, exchanging drunken ‘I love you’s with their best attempts at serious expressions. “Where’s Joe?” Andy finally asked.

“Upstairs with a girl.” She answered.

“Ah.” He nodded in understanding, wondering how long he’d already been gone for. He checked his watch, seeing it was close to midnight and contemplating their early morning interview. The lovesick drunkards on the ground would need as much sleep as they could get if they were going to wake up in time for it. “I’d better go retrieve him.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Well, I wouldn’t expect you to. Nobody wants to see that.” He chuckled as he walked back inside.

 Eventually Patrick and Pete stopped trying to out-do one another with compliments and sat quietly, staring out at the yard. Their backs leant against the siding of the house, the cool radiating from it and the cement beneath them easing the beginnings of their hangovers.

“Hey,” Pete called. She looked over to meet his gaze. “come sit with us.” He said, gesturing to the spot next to him that was awfully close to the still fresh vomit.

“I think I’m good.” She laughed, shaking her head. He looked next to him, seeing why she’d declined his offer.

“Well, come sit next to Patrick then.” He suggested. The singer looked up at her hopefully at the mention of his name. She knew that either Pete would continue asking her until she eventually sat with them, or the two of them would never let her hear the end of it on the car ride home, so she gave up and sat down next to him. They sat in comfortable silence, watching the trees at the back of the yard sway in the wind. It wasn’t quite past winter weather yet and the air still carried a bit of frost to it. Not that the two half-asleep men next to her felt that over the alcohol buzzing in their system. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to conserve what warmth she had through her too old, too thin hoodie. Sitting outside in the cold hadn’t been something she expected to happen tonight and she hadn’t exactly layered up to prepare. Patrick saw the movement out of the corner of his eye, and wanted to offer his jacket but felt like he might throw up again if he moved too much. Leaning against her to transfer some of his warmth seemed like the best solution. He smiled slightly to himself when she didn’t object. He and Pete fell asleep shortly after.

“You joined them?” Andy asked as he stepped outside, dragging Joe behind him by the sleeve of his jacket.

“They asked me to.” She answered as she nudged the two of them awake. He dreaded the day when they finally convinced her to drink with them, he could already tell that if she caved when she was sober, she was quickly going to fall victim to their drunken antics.

 The party had started dying down by the time they finally got organised enough to head back to the hotel. As they tried to lead the two drunken boys through the house Pete grabbed a random lamp from a coffee table.

“I want this.” He slurred, grinning to himself.

“No, Pete.” She frowned, trying to take it off him.

“Yes, Pete.” He nodded.

“It’s a nice lamp.” Patrick nodded in approval.

“Patrick,” She scolded. “don’t encourage him.” He pouted sadly before letting Andy push him out of the door. “Drop it.” She turned back to Pete. Instantly she regretted her choice of words, because when he registered what she’d said he smirked deviously.

“All right then.” He shrugged, letting the lamp smash to the floor.

“God dammit…” She sighed.

“Well, you said-”

“I know what I said!” She barked, Joe grabbed Pete’s hoodie before he ended up making matters worse and dragged him into the front yard. She slipped a twenty dollar note under the notepad at the front door and wrote a quick message apologising for the damage.

 They all crammed into the car, waiting for a few moments for it to roar to life considering the cold weather. Andy pulled out onto the road, hoping for a quiet trip back to the hotel. “Tonight was fun,” Pete started, dragging out the last word for emphasis. “Did you guys have fun?”

“It was the best.” Patrick mumbled, nodding softly.

“I had a great night-” Joe started as he moved to turn around and face his friends in the back seat. Andy placed his hand on the guitarists shoulder, shoving him back into his seat.

“Yes, we all know you got laid. Don’t brag.”

“It’s not my fault nobody else is getting any.” He shrugged. Andy rolled his eyes.

“Hey! I could’ve if I wanted to!” Pete argued, leaning forward over the centre console. “I was just busy.”

“With what?” Joe countered. Pete mumbled something to himself about being too focused on the tour and sat back in his seat. “And what about you, ‘Trick? I saw that girl hanging off your arm in the lounge room before I went upstairs.” He asked, glancing in the rear-view mirror. She tried her best to ignore the mental images that flooded her mind and glanced out the window at the passing roadside.

Patrick just shrugged lazily, “Wasn’t feeling it.”

“Wasn’t feeling it?” Joe repeated.

“He’s totally super into some girl and he won’t tell me who.” Pete added. Patrick quickly leaned over and punched him in the arm.

“Shut the hell up.” He hissed.

“Aw, man… it’s totally that girl at the record shop down the road from you, isn’t it?” Joe asked as he clicked his tongue in disapproval. “I knew you’d get all hung up on her when she gave you a discount for being cute.” Patrick pulled his cap down over his eyes and continued the journey in silence.

 Tuesday, 28th of March, 2007 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The next morning, she took it upon herself to go and fetch coffees for the guys, deciding that at least two of them would definitely require one to function. She knew her job wasn’t to get them to interviews on time, or to be a personal assistant, but she did still work for the label and knew it was in her best interests to keep them, and the band, happy. Also from the perspective of feeling like a friend to them, she thought they’d appreciate it. By the time she arrived back at the hotel lobby the four of them were sitting around a small coffee table waiting for her. Pete had dark sunglasses over his eyes, trying his best to block out as much of the noise and light from outside the hotel as he could. He nodded ever so slightly as he took his coffee, worried that if he exerted any more energy than the bare minimum that he’d pass out. Patrick had a hat pulled down as low as he could over his glasses for much the same purpose as Pete’s sunnies.

“Thanks.” Patrick croaked hoarsely as he took the drink from her, she could tell his sickness hadn’t ended yet by how pale he looked. Andy and Joe seemed perfectly fine, the former refusing the coffee and telling her to drink it instead. Once the two walking hangovers had decided they were stable enough to get into a moving vehicle without throwing up in it, they set off to the interview.

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Platonic. (Patrick Stump x Reader)

Note: This was written by my best friend.

“Why do we have to come with? We don’t even know the guy.” Pete whined.

“Because Seth said that he was going to bring a friend, and there’s nothing wrong with making new friends,” Andy said, smiling.

“When you say it like that, my dude, you really don’t sound like a 37 year old man,” Joe commented.

“Uh, yeah, I’m not really in the mood to meet two men that’ll make me feel like a actual tree stump in comparison to their huge, muscular bodies,” Patrick stated, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“C'mon guys, it’ll be fun, I promise, I mean, it’s Seth Freaking Rollins and he’s really nice, I’m sure his friend will be the same. How about this - if you guys start to feel weird, we can leave, okay?” Andy suggested.

“Fine,” the three men sighed in agreement.

“Why is leaving your houses such a problem?” Andy asked, quizzically.

“Because we’ll be seen in public with gigantic men that’ll make us look tinier than we already are,” Patrick said, fiddling with his fingers.

“Speak for yourself, I’m not that short like you guys,” Joe said smugly.

“Shut up, Joe!” The others said in unison.

~

“Ugh, where are they? I want to get this over and done with, so I can see my kids and not feel short,” Pete complained, resting his face on his hand.

“You’re getting to eat free pizza, stop complaining,” Andy stated, annoyed at Pete’s childish behaviour.

“Doesn’t count if it’s vegan,” Pete grumbled softly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I think I see them. Wait, no, it’s a girl and a guy, nevermind,” Joe said, craning his neck to see.

“That’s Seth! I didn’t know he was bringing his girlfriend. I could’ve brought Meredith with instead,” Andy sighed, “Does she look familiar to you guys too?” Andy questioned, furrowing his brows.

“Th-that’s his girlfriend? Th-they’re together? Uh, that’s [Y/N][L/N], she’s a WWE Diva,” Patrick said, slouching, misery evident on his face.

“She’s hot!” Pete said, “Hey, isn’t she that chick that you record and watch on your TV all day?”

“Uh, no, I don’t watch her all day, just whenever she happens to be on TV. I’m not obsessed,” Patrick said, unnecessarily defending himself.

“Whatever man, what you do while you watch her matches behind closed doors are your business,” Joe smirked knowingly, leaving Patrick’s cheeks a tinge of pink.

You and Seth walked into the restaurant, his muscular arm draped around your shorter frame while the two of you were deep in conversation, something he said made you chuckle while he watched you and smiled. None of you noticed the four men staring at this common occurrence between the two of you. Seth searched the restaurant for Andy and was met with four pairs of eyes already looking his way; you and him quickly made your way over to the booth.

“Hey man, how you’ve been?” Seth said, quickly man-hugging Andy.

“I’m great man,” Andy said, smiling, “these are my friends; Joe, Patrick and Pete”.

“Nice to you meet you guys,” Seth said shaking each guy’s hand, “This is [Y/N][L/N], current Diva’s champion,” Seth said, beaming with pride.

But Patrick knew that already, he watched and recorded that match of yours while he was supposed to be working on the new album with the guys. He sat on a couch, getting really flustered when you came out with your practiced entrance. He got excited when you had the upper hand - which was most of the time - and when you performed your signature on your opponent, he couldn’t help but yell loudly, the moments that she retaliated and got a few hits in had him frustrated; he hated to see you get hurt.

You greeted each of them by shaking their hands, all the while, Patrick kept drinking his Coke and watching you, getting more and more nervous the closer you got. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realise that he was staring at you, his straw still in his mouth until Pete snapped him out of his trance, leaving him looking like a deer in the headlights. Patrick looked up at you, your hand out stretched, a huge smile on your face. He stretched out his hand towards you and was about to greet you but hiccuped instead. You covered your mouth and giggled, making Patrick’s face redder than a stoplight.

You ended up sitting next to Patrick, his nervousness growing, he only hoped that he could make a coherent sentence while talking to you. When you sat down, you surprised him, you were shorter than he thought, a bonus for him. With Seth on the other side of you, his arm resting lazily on top of the part of the booth behind your head, Patrick was left to wonder whether you and Seth were a couple or not.

When Andy and Seth began talking about Crossfit, you unexpectedly turned to Patrick and began a conversation with him. You asked him questions about the band and music in general, genuinely interested in his knowledge of something you were clueless about. You listened to him explain how he works various sounds together to create songs, with the help of Pete, Andy and Joe. You watched, in awe of his musical genius. You played it coy and flirted a little, the rest of the table not noticing your slight touches on Patrick’s arm or thigh, only he did, and he was losing his ability to speak.

“So, am I going to see you again?” You said, twirling your hair around your finger.

“Uh, yeah! I-I mean only i-if you wanted to, I would love it, I love you! I-In a platonic way of course. That’s a funny word, isn’t it? Platonic, strange wor-,” Patrick rambled.

“Just give me your phone so I can put my number in,” You said, putting your hand out for his phone, giggling at his nervousness.

“Y-yeah, sure,” He said, nervously searching through all of his pockets for his phone.

Once you took your phone from him, you quickly typed your number into his phone, adding a black heart emoji next to your name. You were astounded at your own boldness this past half hour, you were never this confident, but having the guy you thought was cute be more nervous than you, made you feel better, you weren’t the only one for once.

After getting to know one another, you all decided to leave, although, Patrick still wasn’t sure if you and Seth were an item yet.

~

“C'mon man, you gotta man up, it’s now or never. She’s your dream girl, just do it,” Patrick said, hyping himself up.

From Patrick: “Hey there, [Y/N]. Would you like to hang out sometime this week? If you don’t, it’s okay.”

From [Y/N]: “Patrick! Hey! I would love to see you again but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to see you, I’ve got to go to gym every day and I have meetings all week :(”

From Patrick: “Oh, :/ maybe some other time then?”

From [Y/N]: “Maybe I could find some time to meet up with you. How about lunch at 1? :)”

From Patrick: “That sounds great, I know this really amazing restaurant that offers healthy options too. Is Wednesday okay with you?”

From [Y/N]: “I think I know the one. Wednesday is perfect :) See you there ❤”

From Patrick: “See you there.”

From Patrick: “Wait, you just said that.”

From Patrick: “I’ll see you on Wednesday❤❤”

From Patrick: “The second heart was an accident.”

From Patrick: “Not that I don’t like you. I love you.”

From Patrick: “I mean in a platonic way. Did I just mess this up?”

From [Y/N]: “No, you’re sweet. See you on Wednesday. No need to reply. ;)”

Patrick facepalmed after reading your last message. He blew it, he could picture it now, after the date, he’d try to kiss you and you’d get weirded out and reject him or tell him that Seth was your boyfriend. Too busy imagining his dreams being crushed, Patrick failed to hear Pete enter his home, until he was actually standing in front of him.

“Earth to Patrick,” Pete said, snapping his fingers in front of Patrick, shaking him from his thoughts, “What’s going on with you, man? You good?”

“I’m nervous, dude. [Y/N] and I are going out on a date on Wednesday and I’m scared that I’ll screw everything up, more than I have already,” he huffed, shaking his head at the thoughts of how he embarrassed himself multiple times.

“Are you sure that it’s a date?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, isn’t she dating that giant Seth guy?” Pete questioned, “I mean, I wouldn’t wanna risk being the other man in that relationship, that guy looks like he eats guys like us for breakfast, and he does back flips!” Pete said.

“Thanks man, that made me feel soo much better.”

“Glad I could be of service, man,” Pete smiled to himself gleefully.

“Do you not get sarcasm? Dude, I’m freaking the hell out and you’re not helping!” Patrick said, basically screaming.

“Chill out man, everything will be fine, in case you forgot, she wanted YOUR number, and even after you embarrassed yourself in front of her, she still wanted to get to know you better,” Pete said encouragingly before adding, “And I saw how she watched you when you were talking about music, she definitely had a lady boner for you,” Pete said, finishing his pep talk.

“Wow, thanks Pete, I don’t know where I’d be without you right now,” Patrick said sincerely.

“No problem man, I’m pretty sure that you’re never going to get a girl as hot as [Y/N], so you’re going to need all the help that you can get,” Pete said, walking to the kitchen to steal Patrick’s food as usual.

Patrick sighed and ran a hand through his hair out of stress, knocking his fedora off in the process. He still felt somewhat nervous, despite Pete’s reassuring words; he hadn’t been on a date in a long time.

~

“Shit, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, she’s going to reject me, Seth is probably her boyfriend and he’s going to kill me, oh fuck, I can’t do this,” Patrick panicked, nervously pacing across his living room.

“Dude, I’m not going to repeat my pep talk, just calm down, if anything goes wrong, I’ll be here,” Pete said, walking into the living room with microwaved mini pizzas.

“Yeah, eating my food,” Patrick scoffed.

“Hey, I’m helpful,” Pete said defensively, his mouth full with a mini pizza.

~

You arrived at the restaurant first, you were excited to finally be going on a date with an actual nice guy and not one of those wannabe actors that would rather talk about how often they’re in the gym than making actual human conversation. A few minutes later, Patrick arrived, nervously adjusting his fedora before walking over to your table, nearly crashing into a waiter in the process but quickly moving out of the way.

“Smooth moves, Patrick,” You said, giggling at his clumsiness.

“Holy smokes,” he whispered to himself, loving the way that his name came out of your mouth.

“Did you say something?” You asked.

“Uh, no, I-I mean yeah, what are you having to drink?” Patrick said, mentally thanking himself for saving himself.

“I’ll probably have a fruit smoothie, what about you?” You asked.

“I’m more of an ice tea kinda g-,”

“May I take your order?” The waitress interrupted.

“A peach iced tea and a mango smoothie please,” You answered, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

“Coming right up,” The waitress said, winking at you before walking away.

“So, you’re in a band, how do you do it? I mean, the writing, recording and touring, you must be really busy all the time,” You asked, genuinely interested.

Patrick blushed slightly, remembering Pete’s words, “Yeah, it’s a lot but I’m with my best friends so it’s a lot of fun, although, I haven’t been on a date in months, I mean, there is the odd drunk girl at a party that’ll flirt with me but it’s not genuine. I’m pretty sure that no sober girl is actually interested in me,” Patrick said, cringing slightly at his self-deprecating words and the thoughts of the drunk girls throwing themselves at him.

“Oh please, you can’t be serious, I’m sure girls would kill to be in my shoes right now, and I can assure you, I’m the same level of sober that Brendon was drunk in the History of Fall Out Boy video,” You said, flirting with Patrick.

“Y-You know my music?” Patrick asked, shocked.

“Of course. I love it, it’s perfect for when I’m at the gym,” You answered.

“Oh, I had no idea, I have to admit, I-I’m a huge fan of yours, I watched you win your title the other night,” Patrick said, slowly gaining confidence to speak freely.

“Wow, I-I’m flattered, Trick,” You said, accidentally stuttering, your inner fangirl coming out.

Patrick noticed your nervousness increasing and started to feel his die down.

“I know this is really blunt but there’s something I need to know,” Patrick said, taking a deep breath before asking, “Are you and Seth dating?”

You burst out with laughter at his question.

“Oh my gosh, no ways, Seth is like a brother to me, I could never date him, and besides, I’ve got a crush on someone right now, and he’s pretty damn adorable,” You answered, winking at Patrick.

It took a while but Patrick finally understood what you meant and when it did, he was stunned. Luckily he didn’t have to say much as the waitress came back, waiting to take both your orders. With Patrick unable to speak, you ordered a pizza for the two of you to share. Once the pizza arrived you both started eating in comfortable silence. With there being eight slices, you having had your four, and Patrick just finishing his third, you still felt slightly hungry, you were just at the gym this morning, both you and Patrick reached for his slice, your hands jolting back from the sudden feeling of each other, redness creeping up on both of your cheeks, at the realization.

“You can have it, I don’t need it, as you can see,” Patrick said, gesturing to his body.

“Patrick, you’re beautiful,” You said, holding his hand lovingly, “but I’m also really hungry so thanks,” You added, grabbing the last slice with your other hand and taking a huge bite.

Once you finished the last slice, Patrick called the waitress over to bring you two the check, the cause of your first argument.

“I’ll get it, don’t worry, Trick,” You said.

“No, I’m a gentlemen, I want to pay,” He argued.

“But I also want to pay, I’m not here to mooch off of you,” You retorted.

“Would somebody just pay?” The waitress said, annoyed.

“Wanna go halfsies?” Patrick asked.

“Sure hun,” You said, giggling.

After paying, you two got up and hugged. You felt confident and went in for a kiss on the cheek. Patrick’s cheeks that were once it’s normal colour was now a pinkish hue.

~2 months later~

“You’re gonna do great baby, I just know it, there’s no way that you’re going to lose,” Patrick said, holding your hands in his.

“But baaabe, I’ve never fought against her before and anything can happen, there is no set winner!” You said, still feeling anxious about defending your title.

“Look at me, I’ve seen you do this before and you can sure as hell do it again, I believe in you babe,” Patrick said, kissing you to alleviate your nervous energy.

“Thank you Trick,” You said, blushing.

You went off to get ready to go out while Patrick stood at one of the TV’S that were broadcasting the show. He loved supporting you and he couldn’t wait for you to be able to take a vacation so you could join him on his tour.

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

[junker-town]

Breaking down the film of Patrick Reed ranting at camera man for jingling pocket change

This confrontation between Reed and a disruptive camera crew is as good as it gets. Let’s break down the film.

The highlights of Patrick Reed’s golfing year should be ranked as follows:

Telling a European cameraman that he “lost his privileges” for jingling change in his pocket.

Telling a PGA Tour rules official he was discriminating against him because he’d give Jordan Spieth a free drop in a similar situation.

Winning the Masters.

The new No. 1 joins the ranking thanks to Thursday morning’s first round at the Porsche European Open in Germany. It was there that Reed encountered the European Tour broadcast crew. With his ball in the rough on the left side of the green away from fans and the hustle and bustle, the broadcast crew dared disturb the Reed universe (shoutout Pete Bevacqua). To the tape we go:

A post shared by Golf Channel (@golfchannel) on Jul 26, 2018 at 8:02am PDT

As a whole, it’s arguably the best golf clip of the season. I may be exaggerating or I may just have different tastes. But I need to go into a few — not all, because we’d be here for hours — specific parts that make it so great.

A looper’s panicked plea

You know when you were kid and you’d be getting into some mischief out of view of your parents. Then you hear them coming down the stairs and you scramble in a complete panic to try and pick up or erase the evidence of any wrongdoing? That’s the state of the caddie feverishly gesticulating here because he knows a sh*t-hitting-the-fan moment could be imminent. Only he missed an empty Natural Light can over in the corner and ... oh shiiiiiit there’s Dad standing in the doorway with that look. The jig is up.

“Privileges”

But Dad, I wasn’t drinking. My idiot friend I barely know brought that beer over and it was the only one and he just wanted to see how it tastes. Doesn’t matter, you’re guilty by association and it was poor judgment even being around him!

That’s Reed here telling the camera man, who appears to be tethered to the actual guilty change-jingling equipment guy, that he’s gotta go too. So he delivers this all-time quote about privileges:

“Camera guy, too, since he’s a part of ya, sorry. He’s lost privileges by going like [AMAZING DEMONSTRATION!] with change.”

Privileges! The camera man should feel so honored to be able to record a Patrick Reed shot up close. I am going to use this line for the rest of time and in approximately one million future tweets about Patrick Reed.

[AMAZING DEMONSTRATION!]

Reed, dripping with disdain for the nearby humans, goes to his own pocket for a dramatic rendering of the crew member’s crimes. Meanwhile, the nearby sound guy, refusing to move, picks up the demonstrative jingle of ballmarkers and divot tools and oh this is all so beautiful.

Defiant sound guy

I do not know if Reed allowed the sound guy to stay because he was not “a part of ya” like the camera guy tethered to the offendant. Or if the sound guy defiantly stared down the barrel of a fuming Reed and did not budge. I’d like to presume the latter and award the sound guy a badge for his courage under fire. Reed flinched.

The wrist wave

Reed’s words excoriating the two are not enough. In the middle of it, he does this little wrist flex maneuver to accompany his “Keep going!” command. It’s subtle, but a critical addition to the clip of contempt.

The on-air commenters trying to move on

The European Tour broadcasts are some of the best in golf. The production is great and the commentators are the appropriate voices to sooth you into those early weekend days. But I was howling as they tried to figure out what to say when Reed had finished ranting on their colleagues.

There’s this awkward-as-all-hell silence that lingers in the air, and finally a, “Well, it will be tough to see how he gets on without a camera there.” There’s some banter, and then Warren Humphreys, in his accent perfect for the occasion, adds “Slightly on the aggressive side, you might say there.” Yes, slightly.

“Ridiculous!”

The duo has already been embarrassed. They were told to “Go.” They were told they’d “lost privileges.” They were told to “Keep going.” They were told “I’m not hitting until you get the heck out of here, like completely out of here.” The point, uh, had been made.

But Reed waited one more beat, and then decided to go back in for another kick as their carcasses lay on the ground. To punctuate the ordeal, he drops a “Ridiculous” that is just oozing with disgust. Even his caddie and brother-in-law, who started the dramatic scene with that panicked flailing, was amused by the extra kick. You can see the smile that comes across his face after Reed says “Ridiculous!”

Reed likes to dabble with European Tour events. It’s commendable. He tries to play more than the average stateside PGA Tour player. But you have to wonder if this crew member was a Euro Tour agent sent to test him. Reed is a lock to make the U.S. roster for the Ryder Cup in Paris in two months. Now I expect the everyone in the massive 6,500-seat first tee amphitheater (Hazeltine had only 1,668 two years ago) to greet him with a collective jingling of their pockets.