#pervalent suicide and self harm are on tumblr specifically

[hesitationss]

i was honestly worried my social skills would be messed up from the pandemic because i think i re-developed social anxiety that i had as a 6 year old when my dad (no english) would make me order fast food for us when we had lunch together or like do government paperwork or something. but the only difference really is that i’ll say “omg kill them! just kidding haha” as a response to negativity, like i’m still the same but even people i meet are so easy to read when they think they’re not and there’s so little social/ self awareness. like there’s a massive deterioration of social infrastructure. the point of school prior to university is really to learn how to be a person and become well adjusted and deal with everyday life, and it’s kind of wild but unsurprising how 2+ year of government negligence and active harm has like massively distorted… everyone… like i’m always like “help im crazy” like i frequently think there are people living in my walls and hiding around every corner and have tactile hallucinations of things crawling under my skin but i’m also like a decently adjusted person… i dont think people realize just how ill they became even if they never got “sick” whether it was how they see themselves physically or becoming disillusioned w society or becoming dependent on dopamine they got from apps to fill the social void… much to think about