#personally speaking i would kiss an adult only into children's media on the mouth and avoid your unjoyful ass

[doppelnatur]

If you find a known autism trait grating and annoying that's literally fine just maybe don't boast about it online jeez.

[dearoldtuxedo]

The Love Interest

In 2017, Taft Studios hired a new screenwriter for their popular, and long-running show, The Banana Splits. Her name was Sammie Satterlee, and ever since they recruited her on the staff, she impressed the audience with her diversed setting scenarios. 

Some new episodes took up morals that are rarely explored among children, and needed to be talked about more. The Sour Grape girls were given more personalities, rather than being reduced to cute, sassy dolls. She made Bingo and Drooper explicitly POC coded, so that minority children can see themselves in their favorite characters, even allowing some POC to guest star on the show. Bingo spoke Spanish occasionally, and Drooper celebrated Kwanzaa for a holiday themed episode. Stevie was also given a decent dose of character development.

Then, at that year, 2018, Sammie was ready to take on a new challenge: Introduce an LGBTQ+ character. Around this generation, a lot of children's media has been accepting of queer themes. The whole purpose was to help kids acknowledge that queer romance is just the same as the typical heterosexual romance. There is nothing inherently sexual about it.

Plus, Sammie happened to be queer herself. She grew up loving The Banana Splits throughout her childhood, and is still a fan to this day. She also grew up around a lot of homophobia at that time. Projecting sexualities/trans identities onto characters is a method of feeling more accepting, more valid. The same method queer kids on the internet use "headcanons" for. Queer children deserve representation. Sesame Street won't do it, so The Banana Splits might as well.

What better way to have one of the Bananas come out than giving them a male love interest? But, which Banana shall have a love interest? Fleegle seems too independent for a lover, regardless of what gender. Bingo prefers pranks and adventure over romance. And Snorky, even though as old as his fellow band mates, bears childlike innocence, so he's not ready for an adult love interest. The only option left was Drooper.

Yes, Drooper will work, she thought. The poor lion is considered the loser of the bunch. What if he had a sweet darling that would tell him how valid he is? Drooper's so clumsy, he's always falling down. Now, he needs someone to catch him and pick him back up on his feet. Sammie then started to sketch out her ideas.

That's when she conjured up Tux the snow leopard! Tux was short for Tucker, also defining his wardrobe, which was a tuxedo. The reason she chose a snow leopard was due to their majestic appearance, and she wanted Tux to come out as sort of a romantic gentleman. Also, because he should be a feline like Drooper. She drew out a reference concept of Tux, along with additional sketches of him and Drooper acting lovey-dovey with each other, and written a bio.

Tux was presented as a muscled man, a contrast opposite to Drooper's skinny frame. This snow leopard was purposely intended to be the hero to Drooper's damsel in distress. He sure is a handsome fella, but he's pretty dumb as well. That didn't matter. He's perfect for Drooper. Tux would be somewhat special to Drooper, like he understands him, he cherishes him, and he's willing to take a punch in the face for him.

After giving the references to Karl, and a bit of debate, the engineer decided to take a shot at it. Reading through Tux's biography, his personality and characteristics had quite interest Karl. This snow leopard certainly didn't possess the same energy as his other boys. Fleegle was the intellectual leader, Bingo was fun and energetic, Drooper was the butt of bad luck, and Snorky was the baby of the group. Tux was different. It would be quite complicated for a stoic machine to act out all these actions. Unless...

What if he gave this animatronic fully functional emotions? Karl always wanted to try something new. A robot with emotions would probably be his greatest achievement yet. No other engineer has dared to try it out. Not only will the idea be impressive, but his feelings would be very convincing.

After almost a month, Tux was completed. Although he matched his reference drawing perfectly, he appeared to be seven feet tall, instead of being two inches shorter than Drooper. Speaking of Drooper, not only were emotions installed into his databanks, but he was also programmed to fall in love with no one but said lion. 

Karl decided to showcase Tux to Sammie. He then activated the mechanical snow leopard. It took some time for Tux to get into motion, but as soon as he saw those humans in sight, he stepped back nervously. He touched around at himself for a moment, and scanned his surroundings. He was now alive, and he wasn't sure how he felt about this. The animatronic walked around the room, picking up items at random. He went back to Sammie and spoke for the first time.

"Hello. I'm... I'm..."

Karl answered for him.

"Tux." "I'm Tux. Pleasure to meet you. ...I think. Say, could you tell me where am I? What is going on? What is my objective?"

Just as Sammie could say anything, the Splits had entered the room. Tux turned his attention towards them by instinct. The very sight of Drooper had already triggered him into love mode. The feeling of seeing the lion was undescribable to him, but since it's in his programming, he knew how to act. He stared at the lion for awhile, then ran over to him. Tux took his paw into his.

"Hello. I am Tux. Pardon me if this sounds so sudden, but, I love you."

The animatronic kissed Drooper's hand, even though he just gapped his mouth open a bit and pressed it against the paw.

"Do you love me?"

Drooper was confused by this abrupt gesture, and had no opinion about it due to his lack of emotions. Still, he responded anyways.

"I love you too, Tux! I love all my friends!"

Tux was quite offended, having to be considered a "friend." Sammie decided to clear things up for the lion animatronic.

"Uh, Drooper, this is Tux. He is your new boyfriend. You know, like, a lover. As in you two are in love. Or at least, pretend to be, for the show."

A new boyfriend? Drooper doesn't remember agreeing to that. He just met the snow leopard, and all of a sudden, they're lovers? The lion isn't sure how he feels about that, especially since he doesn't return the snow leopard's attraction. Then again, Tux is a pretty nice guy. And it's not like they're forcing him to love him back. After all, she did say he could pretend for the show. Since the Splits aren't on the air right now, they might as well just be friends. Drooper shook his hand and greeted the new recruit.

"Very nice meetin' ya, Tux! I'm Drooper! This is Fleegle, Bingo, and Snorky! Welcome to The Banana Splits! Enjoy your stay, friend!"

He still deemed Tux as a "friend." That's not what Tux wanted. He didn't just come alive, fall in love instantly, only for it to turn out to be one-sided. Tux figured, he will get this lion to love him back, even if it kills him.

And so, for the last four days, Tux wasn't ready to be onscreen, so that gave him enough time to win Drooper's affection. The snow leopard had snuck into Rebecca's computer to find information on how to woo a person. Then he'd capture that info into his system.

Tux tried presenting Drooper with a flower (one of the props). He was flattered, took the flower, and patted Tux on the head. But walked away afterwards.

He tried serenading a romantic song, which was performed by the Splits in another era. 🎵I enjoy being a boy, in love with youuuuuuuuuu.🎶 Once again, Drooper was flattered, and applauded his performance, but still, walked away.  

Next, he tried the extreme. Tux grabbed Drooper, dipped him, and planted his mouth onto his, giving him a kiss. That only resulted in Drooper pushing him so hard, he knocks him down on his bum. 

No matter what technique he tried, his attempts all failed. And Drooper showed no signs of loving him back. Today was scheduled for Tux to make his physical appearance. But before he's ready to be on the show, he discussed his issue with Karl.

"My lover... ...doesn't love me. What have I done wrong?" 

Karl knew exactly what the problem was. It's not what Tux has done, but how Drooper feels. The lion animatronic was built to be emotionless, so it's impossible for him to accept a handsome man's gesture. Maybe Karl can fix that. 

"Settle down, my boy. You'll get what you want. I promise."

He then called Drooper over for a tune up. The only way for the two's feelings to be mutual is to install the lion with the same features programmed into Tux's databanks. The snow leopard held his hands together tightly. Soon, he and Drooper will be bond together at last. Together, forever. He'll have him close to him. They'll hold hands. The two will spend their entire lives as one until they rust. Karl then motioned that he had the notion of giving the other Splits emotions as well, so that they can embrace Tux like a family member. He wanted to make his greatest achievement feel at home.

“Yeah yeah sure. Now hurry up with the process!”

Suddenly, Rebecca entered the workshop, announcing that the whole "LGBTQ+ representation" project was officially canceled.

While the news of The Banana Splits having an LGBTQ+ character on their show received largely positive from the queer community, they've also gained negative, violent feedback from those who were against it. They were being accused of "attempting to encourage children into sexual acts," and called out for spreading "leftist SJW propaganda."

It gets much worse. Straight parents set up a campaign to boycott the show. Stevie threatened to quit because he refuses to work around a "cybernetic f@gg3t." And Andy, the network executive, blackmailed that he would pull the plug on their show if they let this "gay shit" slip onto TV. Sammie was fired, and the whole assignment was history.

Karl stopped what he was doing, leaving Tux confused.

"Aren't you gonna-" "I'm afraid there's no reason to anymore, my boy." "But, Karl- Drooper- You said I could have what I want! YOU PROMISED!" “I wish I could keep it, but I don't think I have a choice. I'm sorry." "I don't believe it. How could you be SO SELFISH?! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL?! PLUG HIM BACK IN, RIGHT NOW!" “I can't-" "ALL I WANT IS MY KITTEN TO LOVE ME! DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?!!"

The snow leopard threw a big tantrum. A single stomp on the ground made the floor shake. Then, he shoved items off of counters, and smashed stuff, while screaming at the top of his voice. He was absolutely terrifying at that moment. Tux turned to Rebecca, thinking it was all her fault. She tried to tell him to stand down, but he was too stubborn. He grabbed her by the neck, and pressed her against the wall. With Tux's back turned away, that gave Karl the opportunity to shut him down. Tux let go of Rebecca, and fell over unconscious.

Poor Tux. Maybe giving him emotions was a bad idea. As it turns out, he's not mature enough to know how to handle them, which makes him too unstabled. After that traumatized experience, Rebecca demanded that Karl should get rid of him this instant.

After she left, the three other aninatronics entered the workshop. Karl stared down at Tux for a minute. The snow leopard animatronic didn't mean to cause any harm. He's just a little faulty, with his ardent coding and all. Karl never worked out how he would have Tux cope with his emotions. The engineer couldn't bring himself to throwing out what he thought was gonna be his greatest achievement yet, so he asked his four to dispose of Tux for him. Karl then left the workshop to see if he could calm Rebecca down.

Four of the Splits gazed upon the now deactivated animatronic. They, including Drooper, felt a bit sorry for him. Why put him to waste? There's still some potential in him. The sad case just wanted, and needed, some love like they have had. A new Banana Splits member is still a member. Besides, he was much nicer to them than Stevie.

"What are we gonna do with him?"

So, rather than dragging his metal carcass to the dumpster, they all agreed to hide his body, behind a couple of boxes and bins in the corner. Perhaps he will make himself useful. Someday.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Happy Travels - A Noctella and Noctluna Story

Summary: AU. A story that's a mix of Final Fantasy XV and some Versus elements, that tries to make fans of both happy. For instance, this story will be half Noctella and half Noctluna. Half Noctella until Stella eventually dies (and yes, I'm warning you now that that will eventually happen), and then it's half Noctis and Luna after that (and Stella, in the grave, would be happy for them). And there's no love triangle. While Luna does have a crush on Noctis when he's with Stella, Noctis and Stella don't know it's more than that and Luna doesn't press the issue because she wants them both to be happy. And it's in mourning Stella so much--a pain that really only the other understands--that sort of brings Noctis and Luna together.

As ridiculous as it was to be focusing on such trivial things right now, Stella stared down at the brown dress she was wearing and wondered if it was the best idea to be presenting herself to Prince Noctis in it... As a summer, she wasn’t exactly sure that chocolate was her color at all. But what could she say? She was tired of wearing white around him—and didn't want him to think she was still so naive and innocent... but black was too much for her, because she wasn't a dark-spirited person at all… She also very much didn’t want to be accused of being a harlot by wearing pure red, so perhaps she'd found a happy medium between ebony and crimson. But Stella could only hope that that was the case. Stella was welcomed into King Regis’ throne room by Ignis (though they were here for Noct and not Regis)—who bowed and was polite as always, if not a little flustered given the enormous situation. "It's good to see you, Lady Stella," Ignis whispered, as he took the blonde's arm in his own and led her to a secret passage behind the throne, which was where Noctis was now hiding. "And I trust that Prince Ravus and Princess Lunafreya are doing well?" "Luna," Stella urgently but kindly corrected Ignis, as she patted his hand. "My little sister goes by 'Luna'. I have no idea why our mother, Sylva, gifted her with such a mouthful of a name, when Ravus and I were both coined something simple. But all of us hate Luna being the outlier there—so ‘'Luna', it is. “But I, of course, didn’t expect you to know any of this, Sir Ignis! You'd no way of doing so, since you've never met my little sister personally and since the media refers to her as ‘Lunafreya’." Ignis slightly giggled and smiled at Stella after her tirade, and she could only guess that it was done so in approval—since Noct himself didn't speak so normally, even though Stella had heard that Ignis wanted him to. "And how I very much wish to meet Lunaf—Luna—in person one day, my lady. The world only has great things to say about the Oracle—as does Noct, from the little bit he seems to know of her. And your sister seems very... sweet, if you don't mind my saying, with how she apparently loves stickers so much, that all of Eos knows it. No doubt she bonds strongly with the children she heals that way." This was all very true, and Luna to a T. It was why Stella and their family loved the youngest Nox Fleuret so much, since she had a child’s soul and it was clear for the public to see, too. And Stella would have told Ignis all of this, if they hadn’t finally made it to wear Noctis was in the passage. And Ignis must have noticed the looks that Stella was giving Noctis and him her, because he very quietly and gracefully departed. And the moment he did, Stella was in his arms. The pair did not kiss. Rather, Noctis ran a soothing hand through Stella’s hair as she cried into his chest. "Noctis," the rapier-wielder sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea that the prophecy had that in store for you. We must fight it!" Which was what they were doing now, somewhat, with Noctis hiding away in his own home until he could eventually escape his father. But Stella feared that it wasn't enough. "Shh," Noctis replied, almost seeming to be somewhat chuckling while he did it—something that made Stella so mad, she could've punched him and nearly did. "It's fine, Stell. Look: I'm not going to lie and say this all isn’t a nightmare, but I'm pretty strong… I should be fine." And there was that arrogance he'd displayed right after he'd thought King Regis had been murdered and wanted to avenge him--before they'd all learned what a slithering snake the man was—and Stella might have been impressed by it, if she wasn't also so scared for it. "So, what's your plan to get out of here, then?" Stella asked incredulously, with an eyebrow raised. "Your father has the whole city looking for you. And while he hasn't found this secret passage yet, when Insomnia shows no sign of you… he might come back here and see you escaping. I'm also genuinely baffled that he hasn’t found out that Ignis is on your side." Thankfully, Regis still thought Stella was against Noctis—because of the time that she had been—since most of the countries hated Lucis for having the only crystal left… Not understanding that that meant Noctis had to die in using his crystal to end the Starscourge: something Stella would stop him from doing, if it killed her. Noctis winked at Stella, as he leaned his face so close to hers that she thought he might kiss her. "Fortunately, there's a pretty girl here who I kind of look like. And if I dress like her when I leave, the media may just think I'm Stella Nox Fleuret, doing my sworn duty to end the prince." Stella sighed. And not for the first time, she regretted that Noctis had recently dyed his hair to be like hers. But as she really had no other plan to get her love out of Insomnia and to Galdin Quay, like they needed to go, Stella summoned her rapier to hand—still wondering how she was even able to do that, when she wasn’t of the line of Lucis—and gave it to Noct… And she selfishly prayed that as he did this, he didn’t make “her” look fat on camera. … A few days later, Stella, Noctis, and Ignis made it to Galdin Quay without too much preamble. Annoyingly, Noctis' plan had gone off without a hitch, and now all Stella had to do was convince this dodgy Dino character to help them and not alert to the world that he'd just seen the crown prince of Lucis. But Stella had this. She, after all, was the Nox Fleuret that no one had known what to do with, and thus had been sent to journalism school and she prepared to make full use of that fact now. "You won't say anything, Dino," Stella said, as she leaned towards where Dino was sitting on his bench and looked at him threateningly… something that Noctis seemed to approve of, as he wolf-whistled. "If you do, it'll cause a war and you know it. And you wouldn't want that. If a war starts, no one will be able to buy your newspapers." "And if you let me rot in jail, Miss Fleuret—because I don't think you're going to let me walk away like you say you are—you won't be able to get all of the pretty jewels that you love so much. And I’m responsible for their existence in these parts, don't you know?" The three friends collectively sighed, but Stella could tell it was Ignis who was the most perturbed. This had all started when Dino had recently tried blackmailed them into finding gems for them, and now they were just going around in circles. And ugh! The nerve of this jerk, in insinuating that she was materialistic just because she was a princess and loved fashion!- Stella was so angry, that she was about to pick Dino up by his collar and slam him into something—already forgetting that it was partly because he thought they'd be violent towards him that he was now acting the way he was—but thankfully, Noctis seemed to guess what she was about to do and put a reassuring hand on Stella's shoulder to halt her. "Bribery isn't a thing we've tried here? Right, Stell? Right, Iggy? Anyway, I see you eyeing the Ring of the Lucii here, Dino... What do you think about me letting you borrow it?” Stella and Ignis blanched at Noctis’ words. And while Stella had thought that Noctis had had some street smarts to him in the past, now she reallyhad to wonder. "Noct!" Ignis protested, seeming like he was about to steal said Ring from his prince's careless hands if he wasn’t careful. "Having the Ring may be the only way to undo your hideous fate. Why would you ever give it up?” But apparently Noctis had sized the situation up better than the other two had. Sighing, as he ran a hand over his face, Noct answered: "Because I saw the glint in Dino's eyes here when he first noted the Ring. My guess is that he at least wants to try and copy it right now. So if I go so far as to lend it to him, he won't stab me in the back or not give it back. Will you, Dino? Not when I’m letting you make a copy of the Ring, to do with what you will. Right?" "No, boss," said Dino, as he gleefully scratched his nose now—something that Stella rolled her eyes at, as he seemed to be trying to be a cool anime character—"I have no reason to betray you at all, do I ?" And before neither Stella or Ignis could say anything to still try and cautious Noctis, he was giving away his precious cargo and securing them passage for the next day... Though even if there being two Rings of the Lucii would mean that Noctis could fight back against his eventual fate, she still thought he too easily gave away a possible bargaining chip for other parts of his journey. ... There was electricity in the air, as Noctis and Stella stood in a room in Galdin Quay’s leville together. And while there was a large part of Stella that wanted to jump Noctis’ bones—she wouldn’t deny it—she didn’t, for right now they needed to talk about things like responsible adults. "Noct… I do get what you did with the Ring, but what are we going to do when we get back to Tenebrae now? As Oracle, Luna could’ve looked at the Ring and found a way to free you of its curse, but now-“ "…It was our only chance, Stella, and you know it. You too heard the footsteps of Niflheim soldiers coming up behind us, didn’t you? Soldiers and MTs that would have been too happy to deposit me back on my father’s doorstep. Only my putting the Ring in Dino’s hands that exact moment, allowed him to put us in his ship that circled us around Galdin Quay until they disappeared." Noctis had a hand on Stella’s cheek now, and it made her feel so loved. She got the sense that he was saying that—even though he didn’t want it—he’d made peace with the idea of his death… and it was mostly her that he didn’t want to see die, which was why he’d acted as he had. "Also, Stella… not that I doubt Luna. You know I don’t,” Noctis said with his lips so close to Stella’s now, that it was positively sinful that he didn’t just give in and stop torturing her. “But isn’t her duty as Oracle to fight against the Plague of the Stars no matter what? So why would she help me if I’m doubting my own role in that all now?” Despite the electrical current that had been passing between Stella and Noctis so readily here, she felt it give away some—and the old “enemies walls come back up—when Noct began doubting her little sister’s heart some. "…Because you know what a humanitarian Luna is, Noctis... And even of her crush on you, don’t you? So of course, she wouldn't want you to die to save the world and would rather look to find another way." Outside, it began snowing of all things—something that never happened in Galdin Quay, or so Stella was told—and it fit perfectly what Noctis said much, that restored the mood. “I guess… I guess I shouldn’t doubt her, huh? When I was trying to convince your family that you weren’t crazy for coming over to my side again, I bought Luna a white puppy to go along with her black one. And I know how much she loves Pryna…” But it wasn’t only Luna who loved Pryna. Pryna had been a blessing in Stella’s life, too, and she reached up on her tiptoes to kiss the man who had brought so much good to her life, honestly, and that who hopefully the gods would not take away from her. “Thank you for that, Noctis,” Stella whispered as she leaned in and kissed the back of Noctis’ neck now, with tears in her eyes. ... The next day—as the trio prepared to go to Altissia and then Tenebrae—Stella expected a bomb to go off… or something worse, since she couldn’t help feeling that they were getting off too easily lately. But no such thing happened. Instead, she found herself enjoying the breeze as she stood on Dino’s ship, but wishing she had a hat to wear to keep her hair from flying all over the place. And eventually—surely after he’d woken up more—Noctis stood behind Stella with his arms wrapped around her waist and his head buried in her hair, as they both stood there solemnly. It was clear to Stella that Noctis had feared last night that he’d also somehow lose her—as Stella had worried for him—and that feeling hadn’t disappeared yet. But halting the young adults’ depressing thoughts, was Ignis. He stepped towards where they were at in the center of the boat and cleared his throat. "Not to intrude on your moment, Highnesses, but we need to talk about who we can trust." This made Stella grimace: She knew well how Gladio’s recent betrayal had cut Noctis to the quick… and now everyone was unsure of Prompto since he was from Niflheim (that was why he wasn’t here now). And while Stella of course understood why Ignis was bringing this all up now—because they needed a game plan—there was a part of her unfairly mad at him for bringing about all this pain for Noctis again, when he was already feeling down. "…We can trust Vyv… Well as much as we can trust Dino, anyway. He’ll help us if we promise him good pictures of us to put in his articles" Stella muttered, surprising even herself that she was saying this and not mentioning her own siblings first. But that was obvious, so Stella had then chosen the only other person she could think of. “And wouldn’t you know that he’s also going to Altissia for some photography?” Ignis seemed like he had a lot to question about this, if Stella was reading his face right, but he didn't press the issue right away. Instead, he went over to the captain and told him to head back to Galdin Quay?! Stella couldn’t make sense of this, even though she didn’t doubt Ignis at all, when this was perhaps saying she should. What had he thought that she was wrong, and that Vyv was still in Lestallum? Right away, the captain seemed to try and follow Ignis’ request. But since he’d already been pulling the ship away from the port, he had to force it into a rough halt to try and getting going back the way they’d come. And this sent saltwater upon saltwater spraying into the ship, that poured into the captain’s bloodied hands and had him hissing in pain. And seeing this as the bad omen it surely was, Stella rushed over to the man’s side and ripped part of her shirt off so she could bandage his hands and apologized profusely. “I’m so sorry about what just happened here, Sir. I think- I think my friend was confused. We’re going to Altissia. And I’ll help you spin the wheel to get us there, if you’d like. I’ll also compensate you for your injuries.” And Stella made sure to show him her royal seal, just so he knew who he was dealing with and could believe her words. “I- I’m so sorry,” Ignis spoke brokenly, as he came to the captain himself now and rubbed the man’s back to try and make him feel better thatway. “I have no idea what came over me to tell you to go back to Galdin Quay. I’ve heard of daemons being able to confuse their targets before, but I-“ “It’s alright, Ignis. Don’t worry about it. The way you’ve taken care of me my entire life—and had to remember so much—… well, anyone would be tired from that.” This was Noctis, of course, saying what Stella felt… but she wasn’t entirely sure she believed it, either. Could it have been that Ignis was secretly keeping up correspondence with King Regis to throw him off, and was now getting confused? Or worse… could he have been on Regis’ side himself? Summoning her rapier to hand again, but trying to be discreet about it, Stella promised herself that she was going to work to strengthen whatever magic it was that allowed her to do this. … Stella saw the ocean city of Altissia beginning to show up before her very eyes seven hours later, and it was a sight to behold. It only came second to Tenebrae in her opinion, since she preferred floating plants to water in the sky, but it was still gorgeous. Once they were getting out of the ship, and showing their passes to some Altissian figureheads—Stella found herself asking Noctis something she really should have from the get-go: "I assume you set up a secret P.O. Box here, and that's where Dino's sending the Ring to when he’s eventually done with it?" "...Y-yeah. That was the plan," Noctis said in an almost embarrassed manner, with his hands in his pockets and a blush staining his cheeks as the three friends walked on the dock into the city. "Then I suggest we find it now, and whisper even quieter about it," Ignis quipped, with a hand on both Stella and Noctis’ shoulders both as he looked at them as though he was scolding children. So they took off to do exactly that.: after a near hour of trying to figure out the map and the streams, the trio found themselves in a gondola—ending up at the basement of a restaurant with a pinball machine in it, that Stella knew both Noct and Ignis were itching to get to. But in the back of the basement was a secret passage that led to the storage locker, rather than a P.O. box, where the Ring was. Noctis twisted the tumbler to the storage locker in an agitated manner, but it opened with a loud CREAK and there the Ring was: proven by the fact that Stella thought she could already see Noctis aging the moment he put it on. "Noctis," Stella said, kissing his cheek as she spoke, so he would know the love she felt for him when she said these next words. "Now that you know it's truly the Ring of the Lucii, and that Dino didn't pull a fast one on you... take it off. None of us want you to start dying." Noctis didn't have to be told twice. He had a faraway look on his face, as though he was remembering the Ring stealing his father's life force away, back when he cared, and then he ripped it off--putting it into the pocket of his jeans. "”Good, then,” Ignis smiled now: clearly as eager for Noctis to be rid of wearing the Ring as she is. “Things are actually going swimmingly right now, I think. Now all we need is to meet Vyv, like Lady Stella suggested, and head fo-“ But Ignis didn't get to finish that sentence, for at that exact moment a sentinel stabbed him through the shoulder with a flag. As brothers who had fought together so long, Noct was by Ignis’ side at once—stuffing a potion down his throat, that brought some color to his cheeks again—before using his arminger attack to send numerous of his weapons at the MTs. And while Stella wasn’t quite as skilled as Noctis, she tried to be fast and fluent—so that her blade was leaving sparks in many enemies’, too, and causing them to fall—but what actually did make them fall in the end, was the leader of Accordo, Camelia, coming their way with her lover Weskham hot on her heels. And she looked at Noctis as though she wanted him to prove to her that he wasn’t like his father… and yet the MTs obeyed her every command, because she was clearly in bed with Niflheim the way that even King Regis was now. “Camelia, speaking as someone who was once hoodwinked from Niflheim… how could you eve-“ But she wasn’t listening to Stella at all, and instead telling Noctis, “As petty as it is, my dear Weskham wants revenge on King Regis for being a terrible friend. So tell me your plight, oh prince of Lucis, and I may be willing to help in your cause.”

[yesvac]

hi heres an essay i wrote on why amy santiago and tina belcher are autistic peace out

“Look at her. She’s so... awkward” (“Sheesh!”): An Analysis of Autistic-Coded Characters in Modern Television

Increasingly through the past few years, there has been a rise in quirky, knowledgeable, awkward and lovable characters in modern television. Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory fails to recognize social contracts, which consistently earns a laugh from the laugh reel from the studio audience. House of House MD is known as one of the most brilliant physicians in his cinematic universe, while also being one of the least empathetic. Sam of Atypical, one of the only explicitly autistic main characters of any show, is kind and loving, but social cues do not come naturally to him, and he finds penguins easier to read than humans. All of these characters share a common coding as characters in television who fit under the autism spectrum (Bethune).

Very rarely do television shows explicitly state that their characters are autistic, which is a problem in and of itself. However, we may analyze the behaviors, speech patterns, repetitions and actions of characters to read their behavior as neurodiverse. Additionally, the fact that there are very little expressly stated autistic characters in mainstream television makes the analysis all the more needed because autistic people deserve to be represented, and characters that display autistic traits should be confirmed as autistic by the programs that they appear on.

Some have initiated analysis of autistic characters in media and have come to the conclusion that the current representation is not sufficient. Brian Bethune believes that the current representation of autistic characters is too often the “autistic savant”, characterized by having intense knowledge about one subject, relating to the concept of autistic special interests (Bethune). Bethune argues that not all autistic people are savants, and that this trend of savant-autistic characters such as House from House MD and Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory create unrealistic representations of autism that most autistic people do not fit. Because I wish to understand whether or not the representations of autism in television are accurate, in my analysis, I will read what scholars have observed about traits of autistic people, and compare it to the behaviors of the autistic-coded characters I am analyzing.

Additionally, in 2009, Douwe Draaisma wrote on a similar topic, attempting to gather information on representations of autism in media, including tv shows, newspapers, movies, and otherwise (Draaisma). Her study analyzes many famous portrayals of autism, and agrees with Bethune that the savant portrayal of autism is not effectively in that not all autistic people are savants. Draaisma criticizes that “there are two options for an autistic person: either he is mentally handicapped, an egghead reading geek magazines, or he is a savant with mental powers exceeding those of two Cray supercomputers spinning numbers 24 hours a day.” She feels, however, that since the mid-1900s when representations of autism first began in big media, that the representations have been more accurate and happen more often as time goes on.

Scholars seem to agree that the current representation of autism in media is not sufficient and often problematic, but autistic people deserve to have positive representations of themselves in characters. In order to facilitate a greater understanding of how autistic characters can appear in media, I analyzed two shows that I believe possess autistic-coded characters: Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Bob’s Burgers. The characters I will analyze are Tina Belcher, the pre-teen eldest daughter of the Belcher family, and Amy Santiago, an awkward but brilliant young woman with a passion for detective work in the 99th precinct of Brooklyn’s police force. By analyzing these characters, we can decide the best way to represent autistic traits through popular culture. Preliminary analysis suggests that programs portray autistic-coded characters to be awkward, lacking social skills, possessing special interests, and having unique physical repetitions.

Analyzing Content

The foundation for analyzing Amy Santiago from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Tina Belcher from Bob’s Burgers is because each show portrays these characters with qualities, mannerisms and quirks that allude to neurodiversity. Because there is a lack of direct representation of characters on the autism spectrum, it is important to analyze codification of characters who display autistic qualities and explore the benefits and disadvantages of these characters as contributing to the overall view of autism in media.

These programs were selected mostly because of their similarity in genre (comedy) and audience size and makeup. Both programs are directed towards roughly the same audience of young adults. Both Bob’s Burgers and Brooklyn Nine-Nine ride the line between television for children and television for adults, as Bob’s Burgers often touches on morbid issues and Brooklyn Nine-Nine jokes about serious crime, but both avoid becoming vulgar nighttime Adult Swim television (like Family Guy, Archer, or Big Mouth). Both programs got their start on Fox television, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine is now on NBC.

Bob’s Burgers has been running since 2011 and is now airing its eighth season on Fox. It has been nominated for the Emmy for Best Animated Series seven times consecutively, and has won twice. TV Guide placed it in the top 60 animated shows of all time (Sands). Brooklyn Nine-Nine also has received commendation, racking up several Emmy nominations and winning several Golden Globes for best comedy television series and best actor in a comedy television series (“Golden”). Both shoes are recognized as masterful pieces of comedic media.

I analyzed “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?”, which is episode 6 of season 1 of Bob’s Burgers, as well as “Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks,” which is episode 7 of season 3 of Bob’s Burgers. I also analyzed “Thanksgiving”, which is episode 13 of season 1 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and “Chasing Amy,” which is the episode 18 of season 4 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I choose these episodes because they each display important parts of the character’s personalities, and the plot of each episode revolves around Tina or Amy respectively.

Awkward Behavior/Lack of Social Skills

Scholars who study autistic individuals have found that autistic people often struggle with social cues. Additionally, it has been proven that those with autism may find it harder to make friends, and when they do, it is often based off a shared similar interest. For example, “friendships of.. higher functioning children and adolescents with autism... often focused on common and circumscribed interests with little social interaction involved” (Orsmond). Therefore, those on the spectrum often come off as awkward and lacking in terms of social situations, because the focus is more on special interests than regard for social interaction.

Throughout each show, both Tina and Amy display a clear lack of understanding on how to function well in social situations. Both characters stand out in their programs as the most ‘awkward’ character. Additionally, both characters often avoid eye contact with peers whilst speaking with them, and often make conversation that most would find not socially acceptable.

TINA

Tina stands out as the character in Bob’s Burgers that has the least social skills, as she often appears awkward and unsure of herself. She says odd things to her friends and family and is known to be “weird” by her peers in school. However, she does not feel self-conscious about her weirdness.

In “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?”, Linda wants Tina to know that the family is allowing her to have an “extra-special” birthday party this year, and that Tina can take some time to think about what she wants. Seemingly already prepared, Tina begins to list off what she wants in a rapid, monotone speaking voice:

I’d like it to be a boy-girl party. With mingling. I want to close the restaurant and invite my whole class over. And I want there to be a DJ and dancing and a smoke machine. And about two hours into the party, I want there to be a moment where I see Jimmy Junior across the room. And we’re pulled towards each other. We meet under the disco ball. And we kiss, until our bodies and souls become one. And it’s my first kiss. And it’s perfect, and I remember it forever.

At the conclusion of her monologue, Gene says “scary,” Louise says “freak!” and Linda says “wow! You really put some thought into it!” Bob’s Burgers ensures that the audience understands Tina’s awkwardness in proximity to the rest of her family. If the show displayed just Tina’s monologue without her family’s reactions, then it could be written off as a behavior the writers intended to be comedic. However, inserting the fact that Tina’s little siblings are comfortable calling her both “scary” and a “freak” lets the audience know that Tina’s behavior and speech patterns are perceived within the Bob’s Burgers universe as slightly absurd. While most characters in Bob’s Burgers are unique, Tina’s sometimes overwhelming passioning personality is seen as freakish and scary by her siblings and those around her. Additionally, even without familial context, the audience can understand that Tina’s form of speaking is not exactly normal; her list of birthday party demands is long and sudden, as if Tina is unleashing a wave upon her family. She has clearly thought about it extensively, and it is not what the audience expects.

Additionally, Tina has trouble with some social aspects that seem normal for other characters and people in general. She seems to harbor a lot of anxiety about lying to others.  In the episode “Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks,” Bob lets Tina drive around a nearly-empty parking lot for the first time, despite being 13 years old. Tina is obviously nervous, and panics behind the wheel. She turns the wheel slightly back and forth, groaning out loud as Bob yells and panics, and she hits the only other parked car in the parking lot.

In this instance, Tina has to lie, according to Bob. But this is no easy feat for her, and it changes her demeanor to one that is awkward and painful both for her and for the others around her. Bob tells her, “so we just have to say I was driving, okay?” Tina, a odd, pained look on her face, replies quickly: “but that’s lying! That’s not right!” Bob replies, “that’s true, Tina. Lying is wrong and you should never do it. Unless [the person you hit] makes you go through insurance, which he is. So we have to lie this one time.” Tina is not having it. She is extremely averse to lying. She compares lying with several other crimes: “What’s next? Perjury? Human trafficking?”

Several studies have been done by scholars on the cognitive abilities of developing autistic young adults and children. The findings often cite the fact that autistic individuals have difficulty perceiving what is a lie and what is not, and also have more trouble telling lies (Li). Tina’s ability to lie is extremely limited, and she has trouble throughout the episode when asked to lie by her father. She groans, blurts out obvious fibs, and makes strained faces.

Figure 1. “Tina-Rannosaurus Rex,” Bob’s Burgers. Bob says to Tina, “Let’s see your ‘everything is okay’ face,” but her aversion to lying makes it extremely difficult for her.

AMY

Amy is also a standout character in Brooklyn Nine-Nine for her awkwardness and lack of understanding of social cues. Gina, another character who works in the building with Amy, often comments on Amy’s similarity to a grandma or a toddler in her interests and social abilities.

There are countless episodes in which Amy is shown to have lacking conversational skills. For example, in “Thanksgiving,” the police squad is sitting in Amy’s apartment before Thanksgiving dinner starts, making fun of Amy’s grandmother-esque decorations and waiting for Captain Holt to arrive. The doorbell rings, and Amy answers it with a smile. Captain Holt greets her with his usual work-friendly attitude, saying, “Happy Thanksgiving. Your apartment was very easy to locate.” Amy, physically showing her happiness with a wide smile and open body language, thanks him, saying, “thank you so much. You look beautiful.” Her eyes dart down and to the side, indicating that she recognized that telling Holt he looked beautiful was not an appropriate comment for Holt’s gender or his position of power in their employment.

To ensure that the audience understands the weirdness of Amy’s speech, Jake Peralta, the main protagonist of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Amy’s love interest, then butts into the conversation: “weirdest conversation ever! Nice work, you two.” Brooklyn Nine-Nine adds in Jake’s perception of Amy’s personality and words to contextualize her conversational skills in proximity to her peers. Both Bob’s Burgers and Brooklyn Nine-Nine include the reaction of other main characters to Tina and Amy’s lacking social skills in order to put the dialogue in perspective.

Obsessions and Special Interests

Scholars studying autistic individuals have established that it is common for those on the spectrum to have a special interest. These special interests are often regarded as “obsessions” from neurotypicals who may not know better. Autism allows those on the spectrum to hyperfocus on a topic or thing, and often, this means that the autistic individual can learn extensively about this topic or thing and become knowledgeable and passionate about it. For example, Rachel Grove studied a group of over 600 autistic adults in the Netherlands, noted whether they had a special interest, and also noted what their special interest was. Sixty-three percent of the sampled autistic adults reported at least one special interest (Grove). Below is a bar graph showing the distribution of the most common special interests by sex.

Figure 2. Special interest topics by sex, observed by Rachel Grove.

By analyzing whether or not Amy Santiago and Tina Belcher display an affinity for special interests, we can decide whether their representation in television as autistic-coded characters is a positive or negative one.

TINA

While Tina is most unique for her awkward personality, she is also recognized for her “obsession” with boys and writing. She writes in her journal extensively, and also writes what she calls “Friend-Fiction” -- a play on “fanfiction” -- stories about her friends, often starring zombies and emphasizes romance.

In “Sheesh!”, Tina sits alone at a table at the back of the restaurant, furiously writing in her diary. Linda engages Bob in conversation about their eldest daughter.

Linda: Tina’s birthday is coming up, and I think we should do something special, since she’s turning 13. This is the year she becomes a woman… Bob, she deserves a special party this year.

Louise: If what it says in her diary is true, then I’d say she needs it. A lot.

Bob: Wait, you read her diary?

Linda: Yeah.

Louise: What I can stomach.

Bob: Why is everyone reading Tina’s diary?

Gene: It’s well written!

Louise: Yeah! She’s better on the page than in person.

There is a lot to unpack from this singular conversation, mostly involving the speech of Tina’s family. For context, both Gene and Louise are younger than Tina. Tina is turning 13, Gene is 11, and Louise is 9 years old. Her siblings are younger than her, yet they feel extremely comfortable invading Tina’s personal spaces and reading her diary. This little detail shows that Tina’s behavior is different than most teenage or pre-teen girls, as she is more open and unashamed of her obsessions. Additionally, Louise’s final line, jabbing at Tina’s social skills establishes her as an awkward person to talk to, which is demonstrated many times throughout the series.

However, Tina possesses special skills and interests, such as skills in writing, that are beyond most kids her age. She spends her spare time, in which her siblings use to have humorous conversation with her parents, to write in her journal. Although the show does not tell us if she’s writing friend-fiction or about her own life, it is important that instead of being a part of the conversation, Tina prefers to write. It is one of her special interests that she pursues actively. Additionally, according to Louise’s speech, she is “better on the page than in person,” which is, face-value just an insult to her sister’s social skills, but in context, we can understand that Tina probably likes writing because it gives her a space where she is in control of the environment and dialogue, and she is not perceived as awkward by her peers.

AMY

Amy is skilled in police work and organization. She is well-known throughout Brooklyn Nine-Nine for being the most meticulous person in terms of bureaucracy. Unfortunately, she is not always this skilled in other realms of life, like cooking.

For example, there are times that Brooklyn Nine-Nine demonstrates how Amy’s unbalanced priorities affect her life negatively. Amy is established by Brooklyn Nine-Nine as an extremely thorough, intelligent and prepared individual, but extremely lacking in some skills, such as cooking, social skills, and dancing -- all of which she is oblivious to. In “Thanksgiving,” Amy is attempting to serve a Thanksgiving to her colleagues, and to impress her Captain. To Amy, hosting Thanksgiving dinner has almost nothing to do with the preparation of the food. Amy’s goal in this party is to bond with Captain Holt, and whether the mashed potatoes are edible or not does not seem to affect that in her mind. Sergeant Jeffords bites into the mashed potatoes sitting on Amy’s table from her Thanksgiving spread. He then immediately shows an expression of disgust, exclaiming, “what’s in these?” Amy, seeming indifferent, lists: “potatoes, butter, a little milk. Oh, and I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.” Terry, angered that the potatoes are inedible, sarcastically yells, “why wouldn’t you? They’re both white powders! Of course they’re interchangeable!” Amy seems oblivious to his sarcasm and his criticism of her cooking skills. She says, “yeah.” This scene is important because it displays Amy’s dynamic with her peers according to her priorities. Throughout the episode, including in this scene, Amy is shown to be absent-minded and lax in things that her peers feel that she should prioritize, such as cooking dinner. However, the show emphasizes that Amy is not just lazy or dumb-- she is putting all of her effort towards one thing: impressing her superior officer.

Sometimes Amy’s affinity for work (and negligence of non-work activities) is highlighted in a negative way, as it is in “Thanksgiving,” but sometimes Brooklyn Nine-Nine displays her meticulous habits and ambition as an overall positive attribute. In “Chasing Amy,” Amy prepares to take the Sergeant’s exam, a test that will decide her qualification to upgrade from being a detective to being a uniformed Sergeant. She is coping with the stress in an extreme way, and Jake, her significant other, explains why: “it’s always been her plan to be the youngest captain in the history of the NYPD, but if she doesn’t pass this exam, she’s gonna have to wait another three years to take it again and that’ll disrupt her entire life calendar. [That’s a real thing.] It hangs over our bed.” Again, the show emphasizes Amy’s extreme affinity for success and ambition. She works harder and obsesses more emphatically than any other character on the show. Her passion for police work and leadership is so intense that it is better explained as a special interest, something she easily hyper-focuses on.

Physical Repetitions/Stimming

Scholars in autistic behavior report that it is common for those with autism to have urges for physical movements that may be different than neurotypical people. This results in the physical phenomenon known as “stimming.” “Stimming” is when a person on the spectrum releases energy through a certain movement, action or noise (Simpson). It is involuntary and a clear indicator of autism. Although some examples of stimming, such as echolalia (repeated speech), vocal stimming through elevated speech, or using physical stim toys, can be percieved as uncomfortable or unnecessary in the viewpoint of non-autistic individuals, stimming is not necessarily negative, and is often enjoyable and necessary for autistic individuals (Simpson).

Additionally, those with autism may also have physical repetitive behavior that seems odd but is for the specific purpose of calming down or feeling comfortable. These would include things like being in a small, comfortable space or laying on the floor.

TINA

Throughout Bob’s Burgers, Tina displays several physical behaviors that may seem odd from an outside point of view, but are indicators of autism when examined clearly.

For example, Tina likes certain sounds or repetitions that are seemingly random and do not affect the people around her. In “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?” Bob is transitioning from his day job working at Bob’s Burgers to his now night job, driving a taxi around the city. Linda and the kids are bidding him goodbye with advice on how to make money. Tina suggests, “stay away from Route One. It’s bumper-to-bumper all the way to the Interstate.” Bob, raising his eyebrows, questions Tina on how she might know that. Tina explains, “I like traffic updates. I like it when they say ‘bumper-to-bumper.’” Bob presses further, asking “‘bumper-to-bumper?’”, to which Tina throws her head back and sighs.

It’s a silly moment that shows Tina’s awkwardness and affinity for vaguely sensual topics, but also shows her visible and tangible reaction to certain words or phrases. Those with autism often enjoy one word or phrase repeated again and again for comfort reasons as a form of stimming. Just by this moment, we could assume that Tina is experiencing a form of echolalia, and enjoying repeating and hearing one phrase consistently.

Additionally and notably, several times during “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?” Tina either lays down on the floor or hides under a table with her knees close to her chest. This behavior, finding a space that is physically small and comforting, is typical in those with autism (“Sensory”).

AMY

While Amy’s physical behaviors do not exactly align with Tina’s, she holds her own version of involuntary physical reactions. Amy often celebrates by stimming with her entire body, jumping up and down and moving unnaturally. She also often dances in a funny way by herself after completing an achievement.

In “Thanksgiving,” Captain Holt seems to be happy as he accepts Amy’s invitation to her dinner party. Because the audience already knows of Amy’s overwhelming respect for Captain Holt, Amy’s immediate excitement at his acceptance of the invitation is obvious. However, she attempts to hide her excitement with a badly acted blase attitude, saying “cool! Whatever. Yeah, don’t worry about it either way. It’s not a big deal.” However, when she walks out of view of the Captain’s office, she celebrates this victory with a full-bodied and physical celebration, waving her arms in the air and quietly shouting: “yes!” Additionally, towards the end of the episode, Amy celebrates that Captain Holt gave her criticism on her Thanksgiving toast. She yells, “he’s mentoring me! Yes!” She then physically celebrates with jumps, arm movements, and full-bodied excitement. Her arms completely extend, her body contorts with pride and involuntary happiness and movement. She is unable or unwilling to celebrate quietly, as she possesses her unique physical way of expressing overwhelming emotions, as is common in those on the spectrum.

Additionally, Brooklyn Nine-Nine shows that Amy stims with physical repetitions, such as braiding her own hair. At the beginning of “Chasing Amy,” Amy stands rigidly with an expression of determination and anger on her face, her hair braided into dozens of tiny braids all over her head in a messy fashion. She holds a stack of notecards she appears to be studying. Charles questions Jake about why Amy’s hair is looking so weird. “Oh, she obsessively braids her hair when she’s nervous. And she’s super nervous ‘cause she’s taking the Sergeant’s exam today,” Jake states simply. As previously stated, stimming is a habitual release of energy through a certain repeated action, noise or movement; Amy’s hair-braiding is a good example of a movement-based stim, most likely used for comforting herself.

To explain Amy’s condition further, Jake explains that “we’ve also jumped up to a two: creepily singing songs from the Great American Songbook,” and the scene cuts to Jake and Amy’s bed, with Amy sitting up with a reading light over a huge textbook. She is softly singing, “you’re a grand old flag, you’re a high-flying flag…” Then, the camera pans to Jake, who pulls a pillow over his head. For people with autism, stimming can often relieve stress or discomfort. Stimming can be different for each person, but stimming can be physical, vocal, tactile, auditory, and more. Amy’s behavior here could easily be categorized as a vocal stimulation to relieve stress. Throughout the series, Amy is shown to have coping mechanisms that are more tactile and outward than most characters, and her calming habits fit neatly into the category of autistic stimming.

The Question of Representation

It is no question that there are barely any blatantly autistic characters represented on daytime television. This can be detrimental to the development of those with autism simply because of the inferiority complex created when a person never sees someone who is similar to them. While Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Tina from Bob’s Burgers both display mannerisms that align with those on the spectrum and are heavily coded as being autistic individuals, it would be monumental for Fox and NBC to outright establish them as autistic characters. Tina is a strong willed, confident and realistic portrayal of an autistic teenager, and it would help many adolescents on the spectrum to see themselves on screen as a main character beloved by many. Additionally, Amy being established as autistic would be just as incredible, seeing as there is a severe lack of representation for autistic adults (Prochnow). Because there is a prevalent stereotype for autistic people that they are unable to function independently and need guidance, or have a different “mental age” than their true age, there is a common misconception that autistic people can never be successful, independent and live life to its fullest extent. However, if Amy Santiago was established as a blatantly autistic character, it would show any autistic and neurotypical audience member that autistic people can be successful in their careers and respected for their brilliance.

Additionally, there is a disparity of representation of autistic women in media. While men and boys are often represented, there is little discussion of the fact that women and girls are affected by autism as well, and there is no lack of girls on the spectrum. For autistic girls to see an autistic woman like Amy Santiago who is skilled in her career and married would be an incredibly opportunity to inspire those on the spectrum (Kamal). Additionally, Tina’s self-confidence and ambition would be monumental for young autistic girls who lack a character to relate to on-screen.

While the representation of Tina and Amy’s characters are in no way negative as they stand now, there is much to gain going forward. As previously noted, the representation of characters with autism is often two dimensional and flat, and there is a lack of female characters with autism in popular media. If Fox and NBC have the best interest of their audience in mind, it would be beneficial to canonically and explicitly establish the neurodiversity of Tina Belcher and Amy Santiago in Bob’s Burgers and Brooklyn Nine-Nine respectively.

Works Cited

Bethune, Brian. “Autistic Licence.” Macleans.ca, 13 July 2009, www.macleans.ca/culture/autistic-licence/.

"Chasing Amy." Brooklyn Nine-Nine, written by Matt Lawton, directed by Luke Del Tredici, Fox, 2017.

Draaisma, Douwe. “Stereotypes of Autism.” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 27 May 2009, royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2008.0324.

“Golden Globes 2014: The Winners List.” Cable News Network, 13 Jan. 2014, www.cnn.com/2014/01/12/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/2014-golden-globes-winners/index.html.

Grove, Rachel, et al. "Special Interests and Subjective Wellbeing in Autistic Adults." Autism Research, vol. 11, no. 5, 2018, pp. 766-775. ProQuest, http://ezproxy.msu.edu.proxy1.cl.msu.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxy1.cl.msu.edu/docview/2047340419?accountid=12598, doi:http://dx.doi.org.proxy1.cl.msu.edu/10.1002/aur.1931.

Kamal, Sauleha. “The Character Who Made Me Love 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 12 June 2018, www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/06/brooklyn-nine-nine-amy-santiago/562436/.

Li, Annie S et al. “Exploring the ability to deceive in children with autism spectrum disorders” Journal of autism and developmental disorders vol. 41, 2 (2011): 185-95.

Orsmond, Gael I., Marty W. Krauss, and Mailick S. Marsha. "Peer Relationships and Social and Recreational Activities among Adolescents and Adults with Autism." Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, vol. 34, no. 3, 2004, pp. 245-56. ProQuest, http://ezproxy.msu.edu.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/docview/205303236?accountid=12598, doi:http://dx.doi.org.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/10.1023/B:JADD.0000029547.96610.df.

Prochnow, Alexandria. "AN ANALYSIS OF AUTISM THROUGH MEDIA REPRESENTATION." Et Cetera, vol. 71, no. 2, 2014, pp. 133-149. ProQuest, http://ezproxy.msu.edu.proxy1.cl.msu.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxy1.cl.msu.edu/docview/1620847574?accountid=12598.

Sands, Rich. “The Definitive Ranking of The Simpsons, Peanuts, and More Old Cartoons From Your Childhood.” TV Guide, 9 Oct. 2018, www.tvguide.com/news/definitive-ranking-old-cartoons/.

“Sensory Issues: Seeking and Avoiding.” Sensory Issues: Seeking and Avoiding | Interactive Autism Network, 30 Oct. 2008, iancommunity.org/cs/challenging_behavior/sensory_issues.

Simpson, Hannah. "Tics in the Theatre: The Quiet Audience, the Relaxed Performance, and the Neurodivergent Spectator." Theatre Topics, vol. 28, no. 3, 2018, pp. 227-238. ProQuest, http://ezproxy.msu.edu.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/docview/2162522850?accountid=12598, doi:http://dx.doi.org.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/10.1353/tt.2018.0046.

"Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" Bob’s Burgers, written by Loren Bouchard, directed by Jennifer Coyle, Fox, 2011.

"Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks." Bob’s Burgers, written by Jon Schroeder, directed by Wesley Archer, Fox, 2012.

"Thanksgiving." Brooklyn Nine-Nine, written by Luke Del Tredici, directed by Jorma Taccone, Fox, 2013.

[sage-nebula]

Okay, so after the commentary I made last season despite being in Japan at the time (how I miss that), I feel like I have to say something about this season, so:

In a nutshell:

This show has been racist for a long, long time, but they really amped it up this season. Between Acxa telling Zethrid that mixed race people like them just have to “let go of their anger” over everyone in the fucking universe discriminating against them and just deal with it, to the fact that the one version of Voltron where Princess Allura is a woman of color also happens to be the only version of Voltron where:

She doesn’t end up with the male lead, but is instead given to the comic relief Nice Guy because he’s “good at winning prizes” and

is killed off for real The racism in this show surpassed even my expectations, and my expectations were pretty low considering crew and cast likes to casually toss around the word “half-breed” like it’s nothing. Allura was made to sacrifice and suffer time, and time, and time again. Each time it was supposedly in the name of showing how selfless she is, and yet not only was she never justly rewarded for all that she went through, but the fact that a dark-skinned girl is made to be the sacrificial lamb for everyone else and is supposed to do so with a smile ties into some pretty racist tropes about how black girls are expected to take on the burdens of others. I’m not black myself so I’m not an expert on any of this, and apologies if I’m speaking out of turn here, but to me this entire thing smacks of racism and I have a strong feeling that Allura wouldn’t have had to go through all this nonsense had she been white as she was in previous iterations. And also? It says a whole helluva lot that Dreamworks refused to allow them to kill off Shiro, a light skinned man (because yes, he’s Japanese, but his skin is still pale), but they were perfectly okay with Allura, a dark-skinned black girl getting the ax. Hmm. Hmmmmmm. Colorism, thy name is Dreamworks.

One of the few parts I actually did watch were the Lotor flashbacks in ep 2. I enjoyed them immensely despite how heartbreaking they were. What I’ve enjoyed significantly less is the sheer amount of people who are somehow just now realizing that Lotor was an abuse survivor at the hands of Zarkon, Honerva, and Dayak. Where was this common sense when you were all vilifying him and calling him a sociopathic monster? We’ve known that Lotor’s true goals were peace and that he was a sympathetic person all along. I’m not impressed by people who only just now realize that Lotor was deserving of sympathy. If you didn’t appreciate him at his “the universe can no longer doubt our strength; each ally gained only makes us stronger” then you don’t deserve him at his, “please, father, I’ll do as you say, please don’t punish the people for my actions.” 

That said, JDS and LM continued their proud tradition of spitting in the face of abuse survivors, because even though they actually showed on-screen that Lotor was abused in his childhood by both his parents and his governess, they later “redeemed” said parents (because of course Haggar wouldn’t have abused Lotor had she known he was her son! no mother would ever!! those of us with abusive mothers are making it up, so says virtually every piece of media out there!!) and had Lotor go to “happily” live with them in the afterlife or whatever the hell that was. I’ll admit, I didn’t actually watch that part, I’ve just read spoilers and seen caps, and I’m furious about it. It doesn’t surprise me, given the “abuse survivors will turn out exactly like their abusers (evil) unless they have a good parental figure to steer them right” garbage they’ve spewed previously, but it still goddamn hurts and I’m so angry they did Lotor like this, again. (And also that they left the girls still on the “he used us omg” bent, when no, he didn’t. Complete garbage and nonsense.

I’m glad Ezor and Zethrid were un-buried. It’s also great that Shiro got to be married on-screen with a kiss between him and his love (whose name is apparently Curtis?). This is the first time we’ve had a mlm couple in a children’s cartoon like this, so it’s monumental and I’ll acknowledge that. However:

Zethrid, as can be expected, was written absolutely terribly. It was proven in season six that the girls would just go wherever the plot demanded they go and had no real characters or arcs of their own, so it’s not surprising, but the fact that they turned her into a complete yandere who wanted to pull a murder-suicide (death by cop style) because her girlfriend broke up with her is a travesty and disservice to her character, especially since earlier seasons showed how thoughtful she could be (such as how and when she decided to turn on Lotor: “Sorry, sir. It’s nothing personal”). 

I think they were supposed to be dead originally, but this was a last minute reversal done after the backlash last season. I also think the only reason why those two are together is because a.) Narti died, b.) Acxa joined the Paladins sooner and had a bond with Keith, and therefore, c.) They were the only two of Lotor’s original squad left on their own for a while. a.k.a., Pair the Spares.

Shiro never got any time to develop with his love interest. It’s still representation and representation is important, particularly when it’s unambiguous representation like this (and I wonder if they added this as a response to last season’s backlash as well), but it still sucks they couldn’t develop this relationship on-screen, and proves that they should have never killed Adam to begin with. If they had truly planned Shiro to be the LGBTQA rep from the start, then how his love story should have gone is:

When Shiro and Keith talk outside of the shack in s1e1, one of the first questions out of Shiro’s mouth is, “How’s Adam?” Whether they broke up prior to Kerberos or not, they were once so close they were going to be married. Shiro was away for a year and some change. There’s no way he shouldn’t have been wondering how Adam was doing.

When Shiro had his whole “you’re not worthy of being a paladin” breakdown with Sendak, since that whole thing is coming from his head, one of the things thrown at him should have been “how could Adam have ever loved you?” to cement the fact, way back in season one, that Adam and Shiro loved each other and that this relationship was still an emotional point for Shiro.

Keep mentioning Adam throughout the remaining before-Earth seasons. Little things like Shiro mentioning that he and Adam saw potential in Keith; Keith getting frustrated at one point and saying that Adam didn’t deserve Shiro, and Shiro quietly saying that Keith doesn’t understand, there was more going on than that. Someone flirting with Shiro and Shiro turning him down and, when asked why, he said there’s someone else he needs to move on from first, et cetera. Or even, since we have to do the clone plot that I just remembered, have Keith mention Adam at some point and Shireplica doesn’t react and that twigs Keith’s attention that something’s wrong.

When squad returns to Earth, Shiro and Adam reunite. Adam runs in for a hug, but then stops himself and goes for a handshake instead. He’s near tears. Says it’s so good to see Shiro again. Shiro is awkward, hesitant, but says that yeah, it is. Adam asks if they can talk privately later. Shiro says yes.

Adam apologizes for the things he said before Shiro left for Kerberos. He apologizes for not acknowledging how important Shiro’s dreams were, explains that he was hurt and that his pain and worry made him angry, but he’s regretted all that he said for the past several years. Shiro accepts the apology, and also apologizes for not acknowledging Adam’s own feelings more, for the life they could have had, for not being open to seeing where Adam was coming from. Both apologies accepted, they sit in silence for a moment until Shiro makes a half-hearted joke, saying, “Well, you said you wouldn’t wait for me, so who’s the lucky guy?” Adam just smiles a little, though he looks hesitant as well, and says, “He’s sitting right beside me.”

From that point forward it may or may not be ambiguous if Shiro and Adam are back together or not (probably wouldn’t be right away, but at least old wounds are cleared away). Adam plays a bigger role in the story, and doesn’t get killed off. He ends up joining the crew of the Atlas.

In the epilogue, Adam and Shiro get married. They kiss. Fin. It would have been that easy, but instead of actually allowing a mlm romance to happen on screen, they went with this instead. Which, again, it’s representation regardless and it’s a nice thing that it exists, but it would have been so easy to make it better, and they did this instead. Smh.

On a related note, it’s not queerbait if one character is explicitly stated to have raised the other in canon, they’re referred to as brothers (both from their perspective and others’) multiple times in canon, and you’re even shown that one met the other when one was a young child and the other was an adult. Ship it all you want, ignore canon in your fanworks all you want, but you can’t cry bait when you get “thank you for raising him to be the man he is today” in canon dialogue and it’s not denied by any of the characters in question (but rather is accepted), particularly not in a show aimed at kids that has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. That’s not bait. That would be like if someone said “this is a red velvet cupcake” and you took it from them, ate it, and then got mad that it wasn’t funfetti. You weren’t baited. That ship sank in s6 along with every single Lotor ship to ever exist. That’s just the way it be.

I’m glad Kolivan made it through that entire hellscape alive. Gods bless my man Kolivan.

Literally none of them even really tried to stop Allura from sacrificing herself, though. In the very end, Team Voltron proves once and for all that they’re all terrible friends who have no chemistry as a team and no real bond. Eight seasons and they couldn’t even give anyone that, smh.

I still can’t believe that after all that they made Altean Lance canon.

Final thoughts:

VLD is trash, it has always been trash, I’m shocked it took everyone so long to catch up but I’m glad you’ve all made it here, and now we’re all free from this godawful nightmare and can put it behind us forever. Also, one more thing:

Do not reblog this post or so help me I’ll delete the post and block you. I do NOT want discourse over this. I just wanted to put my thoughts down since I felt that, after I commented on the fiasco last time, I should do it now as well. If you try to start Discourse™ about any of this or act like little demons, I’ll just block you straight off, thanks.

[oddcoupler222]

okay, you literally asked for another longass post:

So, Madelyn is the oldest daughter to a gay head of state, and even though she's Sansa's biological daughter, her personality is so Margaery that it is almost frightening. She's Marg -- but even more outspoken and sometimes less diplomatic, because she has no designs on politics, so speaking her mind is somewhat of her status quo

Growing up, she wasn't the most popular. She wasn't *un*popular, either; she's wealthy, pretty, smart, and outgoing. but her mothers being who they are meant that anyone who has an issue with them in anyway didn't care for them, people have routinely thought that she gets it easier in life, and she's always sort of weary for people who want to get to know her and use her for who her moms are (it has happened. more than once.)

Anyway. So, coming out as bi was somewhat difficult for her, BECAUSE of Sansa and Margaery. Not because she was ashamed or anything, but because for the people who opposed Marg, a big part of them being against the Gays, you know, was about like, making children gay and being deviant and stuff. So, she didn't want to "prove" them right in any way. But regardless, her coming out was somewhat of a spectacle to the public. In college, she was dating a girl, who ended up making it public without her permission, and it was all over the media (this is somewhat of a side note into Ellie and Amelia's story. As in, Ellie kissed Amelia shortly after this happened, and worrying about Ellie having to face a public fallout the way she was watching Madelyn do was a factor into her gently turning her down)

So, anyway. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and Madelyn squared her shoulders and did the interviews and whatnot about her sexuality. But her walls went up more than a bit after that

She graduated from college and then law school, and unlike Ellie, who left King's Landing asap, Madelyn does love it there, and stays there and close to the moms as she makes a life for herself, working her way up at a prestigious law firm -- Madelyn puts a LOT of expectation on herself. Part of "I'm Margaery Tyrell's daughter" and a need to project herself as perfectly and put together as possible

That expectation also comes into her love life. Because she wants to settle down and to find her person, and sees her parents as like the golden standard to aspire to

So... her Future Love of Her Life comes into play also years earlier than they get together. At her firm, which she joins when she's 24 and already a boss ass bitch, there's a guy a couple years older than she is, who ends up being her nemesis at work. Olivar Florent, who - if able to vote when Marg was PM - wouldn't have voted for her. He’s an entitled jackass, who often talks shit about Madelyn and has like a complex about her. He also makes comments about her sexuality and believes she gets things easier because of her who mom is (when, a lot of the time, it has meant she's had to work twice as hard, esp at this job). They also are always competing for the same promotions and cases

When Madelyn first meets him, he's married to Emma, who is a couple years older than Madelyn as well, and is a decent enough presence around the office. Not that the two of them ever get along, really. She's not a Jackass like Olivar is, but she's married to him, which makes Madelyn already weary of her. Though, she sends baked goods to the office and is always at the office parties and whatnot. Even though - as Amelia will tease her over the years - Emma is physically her office crush (because she is Gorgeous and quietly witty), their only interactions over the years are short, often tense/charged conversations and she somewhat feels that Emma has something against her (which she assumes is the same shit that Olivar does)

Cut to Madelyn, age 35. She's been at the firm for 11 years, is kicking ass at work. She has the best moms in the world (her own words), a sister and a best friend who are together and who she loves both enough to kill for, and a baby niece. And... she's lonely af. As Sansa's daughter, she has a romantic soul, which led her into several romantic pursuits, and always ends up getting her heart broken. The last one of these had almost led to an engagement, but that got called off by the woman in question, who went on a diatribe about Madelyn somehow being Too Much but also Not Enough, and even though it was a couple of years ago, she's sort of soured on this whole trying to open her heart kind of thing

Now, on the other side of matters - about a year or two ago, Olivar got caught out cheating on Emma, and they separated. It was a huge thing for office gossip, and ever since then, of course, Emma hasn't been around the office. The one thing about Olivar that Madelyn DOES like, is his daughter. Alyssa, who's 13 and precocious af. And whenever he has the day with her, he usually ends up working and having her sit around in the office (because he's a shitty dad), and Madelyn always lets her sit in her office (where she has some Cool Stuff, knick knacks and stuff, and she talks to her like "an adult" - not like actually bringing up Grown Up topics, but, you know - and orders her lunch and stuff).

Their story would begin as such - Madelyn is coming into her office, and who is standing there but... Emma.

And she's confused, like... "I know it's been a while since you've been around here, but, Olivar's office is still a floor down from here." And Emma takes a deep breath and gathers her strength and, "I know. But I came to see you." Madelyn's eyes narrow and she's intrigued, and gives her a questioning look. Emma looks nervous, which - she's known her/seen her around for a decade, and she's never seen her fidget or look anything other than calm, so it’s strange with her all like, "I'm sorry I don't have an appointment. I... I just. I was wondering if we could talk." and she looks around the office, still nervous. So Madelyn nods and lets her in and is all, "I'm aware we don't know one another all that well. But, are you all right?" Emma blurts out that she wants to hire Madelyn as her divorce lawyer.

Madelyn is SHOCKED, because well, they've hardly spoken and never gotten along all that well when they have aside from a handful of surprising moments over the years (including one very memorable time in which they were caught under mistletoe at an office holiday party and Madelyn laughed it off, rolling her eyes at her somewhat drunk coworkers, but Emma had been -- just staring at her. Her mouth, specifically. Madelyn had tentatively put her hand on her elbow to murmur to ignore everyone, and it had jolted Emma out of her stare. And basically had her avoiding the office for a few months).

Plus, "You two aren't divorced?" Because they've been separated for almost 2 years now, as far as she knows. And Emma is biting at the inside of her cheek, because she has trouble being super open with a lot of people, especially after having been in a marriage with someone who is domineering and rude and loud and controlling. But she sighs and confesses that Olivar has been fighting against actually getting a divorce ever since she moved out, and has been doing everything in his disposal to stop her from proceeding, and she is sick of it. BUT Olivar has a lot of money (she was a stay at home wife/mother, before), he comes from a prestigious family, and has a LOT of legal/political connections, and he isn’t afraid to make threats about custody or lord anything over her head, so it's been a very difficult time for her

Madelyn is still surprised, and is all, "Why me?" Bc over the years, Emma would have basically known everyone at the lawfirm. But Emma tells her that she knows she's at least as good of a lawyer, if not better, than Olivar is, because of the amount of issues she'd caused him. And she knows she is outspoken and not afraid to lay a smack down when needed (paraphrasing), and... she bites her lip but has a gleam in her eye that Madelyn enjoys when she says that she knows Madelyn wouldn't be afraid to take a case that is going against Olivar, because she knows how much she dislikes him and how much they don't get along. And Madelyn takes it in, nodding, because, Emma's not wrong. Plus, she can imagine the look on Olivar's face when he finds out, and - yeah, she likes that

And thus, a deal is struck.

They start meeting up after that - out of the office, at Madelyn's suggestion, because the less Olivar sees them and could find out about what they talk about/their plans, the better. So, they start meeting up and getting coffees at the cafe that Emma is working in (which she is embarrassed about, explaining to Madelyn on one of her breaks, after being somewhat standoffish, because she's a 37 year old woman who spent the majority of her adult life relying on her husband to pay for everything and now she's worried and struggling. Emma and Olivar met when they were in college, and even though she graduated with an art history degree, she has never done anything with it/has little experience because of him not wanting her to work, and they got married at like 23).

Madelyn takes it all in, Emma’s flushed cheeks and mutterings about calling herself an idiot for being in that situation, her fidgeting - before she slides her hand across the table and onto Emma’s. Which makes her cheeks darken and she stares down at Madelyn’s hand on hers, before looking up at her while Madelyn tells her that anyone could have gotten swept up when they were young and being trapped in a bad situation isn’t her fault. And that her aunt worked in a cafe for a long while in her adult years, and that she admires her work ethic. Before she realizes - okay, maybe Emma had in the past had a discomfort about her sexuality, and she drops her hand.

Spurring Emma into action and she tries to talk about paying Madelyn, laying out a financial plan (because she knows that there is no way Madelyn doesn't make a ton of money from her clients, since she remembers how much Olivar makes), Madelyn tells her to pay her in coffee, unable to hold back a little wink

So, they start to bond over the next couple of months, learning about one another, bit by bit. Madelyn brings her work out of the office sometimes when she doesn’t have to, setting up shop in the coffee shop. Talking on her breaks. They end up catching the end of a documentary that’s airing on a television in the cafe one day, one made about Margaery and thus features Madelyn heavily, and Madelyn surprises herself by sighing at it. Emma watching her carefully and saying that Madelyn made all of it, with all of the pressure, look very easy, and Madelyn pushes through a smile and they talk. Emma opens up a bit about how the few days Olivar does get to have Alyssa, she worries about her, and that they are typically the days she goes to see her mother in the care facility she is in, as she has dementia, and it’s just... a lot.

Emma is still a bit reserved around Madelyn, though she doesn't know exactly why. The moments where they share smiles and then Emma will clear her throat and look away or suddenly need to get back to doing something at that given moment. This only kind of changes over a month in, when they are meeting at Emma's apartment for the first time, and Alyssa is there and sees Madelyn and gets super excited and they talk a bit about what's going on for her school project. And Emma is ?? confused... until Alyssa shrugs it off and tells her that she hangs out in Madelyn's office whenever she's had to go to Olivar's work, basically for years, even when they were married.

But that sort of really starts breaking through the reserve she has remaining, because Madelyn is just almost maddeningly lovely. It’s a bit scary

Olivar comes to drop something off (and rage about the divorce papers he's just been served, which had been why Madelyn had stopped by to drop off a “celebratory gift” for the papers being served -- she kind of already has this actual crush going on), and sees Madelyn there, which only makes him more pissed. And then ANGRIER when Alyssa purposefully implies that Madelyn and Emma are a little something-something more

Madelyn goes along with it at the time, because, well, she hates the man and it’s so very far from the worst thing she could imagine... but when Olivar leaves, she apologizes. Especially because she has always thought her sexuality/her moms has played into Emma's reservedness around her

But Emma is sort of frozen and blushing and eventually admits that it's okay (and now... gods, she has Thoughts).

But that sparked a Thing, and now around the office, it's going around the Madelyn is not only defending Emma against Olivar in their divorce, but also that they are dating. Which she keeps up as a facade, even though she knows she SHOULDN'T. This, of course, leads to a Fake Kiss That Feels Real, of course, and then after that is when Emma admits that she isn't exactly straight, which was a very confusing revelation for her, which also caused a big thing between her and Olivar and is something he has threatened to use against her in the divorce if she ever went through with it. (and she admits that a part of why she'd always been so distant toward Madelyn is because she was always SO unapologetically herself and outspoken about who she was and about supporting her moms and Emma (especially when she and Madelyn first met) was intimidated by that, and tbh pretty nervous because she was (and is) attracted to Madelyn, like everything about her) [also, she might have secretly had the magazine article from when Madelyn came out when she was in college for a long time, because it was like a celeb-fantasy-crush, when she was first feeling like she might not have been straight]

They get even closer, like... Madelyn doesn’t even know. Almost dating? Sort of? They’ve had some more moments since the kiss, and she knows without a doubt how much she wants Emma. Emma meets Sansa and Marg, and winds up getting a job at a museum that Sansa gets her an interview at. Emma is thrilled that Alyssa and Madelyn are so close and also admits that a lot of what had put her off of Madelyn, aside from her sexuality and everything I already said, was that Olivar would often say things about her that were entirely unflattering, but she sees now that they were all super untrue and that Madelyn is actually... pretty dreamy. Featuring a lovely moment wherein Olivar sees Madelyn and Alyssa and Emma at one of the office parties (because Madelyn told them to come as they were "dating" in the eyes of everyone else at the office), and when he makes a threat to Emma about taking away custody, about her being gay, about all of the connections he has, Madelyn stepping in and being like, "You think you have connections? I'd like to see you even try. Actually, I would love it. Really."

Which... Emma is... well how can she even try to resist that? (she cant)

And when they go home from that night, they sleep together, and thus, the lines get blurred and it feels so thrilling but so messy. Madelyn starts worrying about not being good for them and that she is really overstepping in their lives, plus she starts to have some trouble at the firm (because Olivar has one of the partners essentially tied around his finger) and this is causing "unnecessary tension" and when Emma finds that out, she doesn't want to complicate Madelyn's life and decides that they shouldn't be doing this

Which cues a few lonely weeks, as the divorce really sets in motion, and Madelyn has a chat with Margaery about living up to expectation and being perfect. She misses Emma and Alyssa - who also miss her quite a bit.

But then in the end, Madelyn quits her job and goes to another firm that has been after her for years. Slightly less prestigious, but better - morally - and she goes to represent Emma, who is shocked that she came, given how their big fight went when she fired her. And then, naturally, comes the big confessions of actual feelings, and Madelyn might have felt like she is either too much or never enough and that she needs to be perfect, but she really is pretty perfect for this little family

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

 Whiskey and Sunset Nights by T.L. Anderson

Single Dad’s Series

 Emotions aplenty as I read this book. I was swept in and stayed invested throughout this short heartfelt deeply moving book.

 What I liked:

* Gray: such a good person, loving father, grief-stricken widow, wonderful son and brother, great friend, skilled builder ~ a man who endures and lives his life to the fullest no matter what comes his way.

* Ella: five-six year old daughter that misses her mother, is filled with love and life and joy, very active, accepting, a great character.

* Missy: The deceased wife of Gray and the best friend of Lily – a woman I admired and was sorry had died too soon. She was a bright light and enduring positive presence in more than one life.

* Lily: bookstore owner, best friend of Lily, good friend of Gray’s, friend to Grays brother and father, open and caring and giving and helpful ~ She was perfect as a person and character and love interest in this story.

* Asher: Gray’s younger brother, caterer, fun-loving, supportive ~ liked him

* Gray’s father: an anchor and safe place to land for Gray when he needed to change things after Missy died.

* The small town setting

* That there was no great drama but instead a slow warm friendship that grows into so much more.

* The way the aspect of grief was handled

* That it felt “real” and believable

* That there was a happy ending

 What I didn’t like:

* That Missy died…and being reminded that too many people are taken by cancer long before they and their loved ones are ready to have them leave.

 Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more by this author? Yes

 Thank you to the author and IndiePen for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 5 Stars

Release Tour for Whiskey and Sunset Nights

by T.L. Anderson

 Grayson Pierce is struggling as a single dad but he’s doing the best he can in his new normal, until feelings for his late wife’s best friend, Lily Dean start to grow more than expected. Can they work through their loss together while falling in love with each other? Readers will swoon for this second chance romance featuring a sexy widower. Fall in love with your next book boyfriend with Whiskey and Sunset Nights by T. L. Anderson, the next book in the Single Dad’s Romance series.

  Read Now!

 Amazon → https://amzn.to/3dDhj75

 BLURB

Grayson

 After losing the love of his life to cancer, Grayson Pierce finds himself struggling with his new normal as a single dad. Moving back home to southern Minnesota with his five-year-old daughter Ella, feels like the only option to keep his sanity.

 Living on his family farm, he spends his days taking care of Ella and running his construction company - working small jobs to keep his mind off things. Until Lily Dean shows up in his kitchen.

 Lily

 Losing her best friend to cancer was the worst thing that could have happened to her. Having Ella and Grayson back in her hometown, keeps the memories of her friend burning in her mind.

 Spending her days running her own bookstore, Lily takes Ella under her wing, allowing her to explore the world of books and helping her cope with the loss of her mother. But then, there’s Grayson.

 He’s her best friend’s husband, or was.

 With each passing day, Lily and Grayson find their once casual friendship slowly flourishing into something more.

 Can they work through their respective loss and let love in or are they destined for nothing more than a few shots of whiskey and sunset nights?

  Add to Goodreads!

 Goodreads → https://bit.ly/3tVZ4PK

  EXCERPT

 Copyright 2021 TL Anderson

 My dad takes a sip of his coffee, listening intently as Ella tells him about all the stops her and Uncle Ash took. Apparently, they stopped at a rest stop that had a gigantic rubber band ball in a case, and it had over 3,000 rubber bands wrapped around it. “That’s pretty neat there, kid. I bet it was fun taking all those stops with Uncle Ash. Did you see any animals while you were driving here?” Dad asks her.

           “We did!” She looks at her hands, her eyebrows drawn down as she counts off her fingers. “We saw cows and pigs. Oh, and horses!”

           “Don’t forget the llama,” Asher chimes in as he enters the kitchen. I glance up at him while taking a sip of my coffee and freeze mid-sip as I see who’s standing next to him. My heart races as my stomach drops out.

           “Hey there, Gray.” Lily Dean stands before me.

           My heart stops as I see the only other woman who can shatter me to pieces again. Something inside of me wants to let her. Seeing her makes me feel something besides numbness. Something raw and visceral.

           Her brown hair hangs down her back in thick curls, and her blue eyes are hesitant as she stands off to the side of Asher with her hands clasped in front of her. She’s wearing a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a plain white T-shirt, which makes her tanned skin pop.

           Asher walks over to Ella, picking her up and placing her on his shoulders. “Come on, kid, let’s go see your new room.” Without another word, they head out of the kitchen.

           My dad pushes up from his seat, coffee mug still in hand. “I’m going to go help them before they cause too much chaos.” He stops next to Lily and kisses her on the cheek in a fatherly way. “It’s good to see you, Lils.”

           She breaks eye contact with me to look at my dad, her gaze filled with gratitude. “Good to see you too, Mr. Pierce.”

           “I told you call me Jack. You’re not the scraggly little ten year old anymore. We’re all friends here,” Dad calls out as he disappears from the room.

           “Lily,” I breathe out. The last time I saw her was at Missy’s funeral. Lily and Missy were inseparable. She’d come and visit us out east every year and stay for a few weeks, and she and Missy would stay up late to catch up on gossip from back home. When she showed up to the funeral, it felt like my heart was being ripped out yet again. It was always Missy and Lily. So how am I supposed to look at her now without seeing the absence of my dead wife?

           She clears her throat while shifting from one foot to the other. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just stopping by to drop your dad off some old truck manuals I found for him. He’s been fixing up that old 1972 Chevy parked in the garage. It needs a lot of work, but I think he’ll get it running again soon.” She’s rambling on about the truck, and all I can do is stare at her. “Anyways, so I didn’t realize you’d be here today. I mean I knew you were coming back home, but I didn’t know it was today. I better get going so you all can get settled in.” She fiddles with the hem of her shirt, a nervous habit she’s had since she was a kid.

           “It’s fine. Stay for dinner with us.” My mouth blurts out the invitation before my brain can think through if this is a good idea or bad.

           Her eyes widen. “Oh no, I can’t intrude. Ella needs time to get comfortable, and I’m sure she’ll want to spend time with Jack.”

           Just at that moment Ella comes running into the room. “Lily, if you stay for dinner, we can have a tea party after!” She squeals with excitement as she puts her hand in Lily’s catching her off guard.

    Lily looks between Ella and me. I can see the conflict written in her features as she tries to keep her distance from me, but also not let Ella down. “Oh Ells, I’d love to…”

           Before she can say anything else I cut her off, “Perfect. Ell, go wash up and you can help me and Lily cook some dinner. How about hotdogs and burgers on the grill?”

           She starts jumping up and down. “Yay! I’ll be right back. Don’t start without me!” she yells while running down the hall to the bathroom.

           Lily doesn’t move. She bites her lip between her bottom teeth before speaking. “I don’t want to be a burden, Gray. I don’t want to replace…”

  AUTHOR BIO

T. L. Anderson currently lives in Wisconsin where it’s freezing cold in the winter and has five months of enjoyable weather year round. Her house is filled with constant chaos between her teenage daughter and infant son, two rambunctious dogs, a stubborn cat, and guinea pigs that keep her and her husband on their toes.   Since the age of three, she has loved reading and creating her own stories in her mind. Now her passion has developed into a career. After earning a certificate from the Children's Institute of Literature she decided it was time to put the multiple characters in her head onto paper so she can share their stories with the world.  She’s the author of multiple novels which include new adult, romantic suspense, and paranormal reverse harem.   She has a slight obsession with doughnuts, coffee, and dinosaurs. When she's not writing you can find her lurking on social media looking for new books to read, taking care of her mini-zoo at home, or having her nose stuck in a book.

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[ykiyori]

Was I sexually abused in childhood by adults? Checklist. Bold the ones that happened to you, italicize if you’re unsure. This is an extremely triggering list, please proceed only if you’re ready to go through this.

Psychological and verbal sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults looking at you sexually (even if they don’t vocalize it, you can usually sense that someone is looking at you with weird intentions)

adults vocalizing their sexual views of you, calling you sexual names, commenting on you in a sexual way, objectifying you and acting like you exist only for their pleasure

adults calling you sexual slurs

adults commenting on your private parts in any way that makes you uncomfortable (pretty much any kind of talk that is not about giving you objective information, or medical assistance)

adults implying in any way they wish to have sex with you (“only if you were older”, calling you jailbait or anything in similar context)

adults blaming the shape of your body, or your appearance, for their sexual interest of you

adults claiming your body is “sinful” or “provocative” or “asking for it” and forcing you to cover it

adults saying any sexual thing they would like to do to you, or implying that any part of you exists for their pleasure

adults insulting your private parts and humiliating you

adults comparing you to pornography or other sexually provocative adults

adults exposing you to pornographic materials (even if you accidentally stumble on them, it was their responsibility to protect you from that)

adults forcing you to look at pornographic materials

adults sending you any kind of nude or sexual images or materials

adults telling you in detail about their experiences of sexual abuse and rape

adults humiliating you for development of your body and any changes you’re going thru

adults humiliating your bodily functions

adults watching you masturbate, or trying to expose you to others

an adult claiming that you enjoy sexual acts, or the idea of them, and humiliating you based on their claims

an adult claiming that you are filthy and perverted for “liking certain sexual acts”

adults managing to engage in conversation with you online and turning it sexual

adults asking you to send them images or videos of yourself via internet or phone, and coercing you into sexual conversations and behaviour

adults influencing you into touching yourself or into any other sexual act (online or in person)

adults making you feel “used” or “damaged” after they touched you or imposed the idea that you’re only good while pure and untouched

Parental sexual abuse (though anything on this list can be perpetuated by parent)

parents denying your privacy and demanding you have to be exposed to them at all times (when changing clothes, bathing, etc)

parents exposing you to, and failing to protect you from sexual predators

parents failing to provide you with proper medical care and protection when you need it

parent blaming you for sexual abuse, and siding with your abuser

parents accusing you of sexual behaviour and attacking you for it

parents imposing the myth of virginity on you and insisting non-virgins are impure or dirty

parents exposing you to false information on sex (you should bleed, or that it should hurt)

parents failing to provide you positive touch, making you easily accept touch from strangers

Sexual grooming done to children so they wouldn’t resist or even detect sexual abuse

adults introducing you to sexual experiences very early on so you wouldn’t feel there’s something un-normal or predatory about it as you grow up

adults grooming you into thinking that sexual advances from adults mean you’re special and mature, and it’s a good and normal thing

an adult bonding with you as if you were their age, trying to make you feel special and have you lower your guard around them, so you’d be more easy to sexually abuse later

adults inviting your flirtatious or sexual behaviour and approving of it, engaging in activities as if it’s okay if you started it or showed interest in them

adults taking your interest and affection towards them as an excuse that they’re allowed to do anything they wish with you, and making it seem like you asked for it

adults neglecting to give you any sort of attention except sexual, coercing you to choose between presenting yourself in sexual way, or being completely ignored and neglected and written off as “worthless”

an adult trying to make you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex, or don’t seem to want to engage in sexual activities at all, or seem hesitant about it

an adult implying that eventually you will have to have sex, no matter if you wanted or not

an adult teaching you how you should react to sex, trying to get you to ignore your instincts and boundaries and just accept whatever is happening to you

an adult telling you that “everyone does this” and making you feel like you’re behind on everyone if you refuse their sexual advances

an adult telling you about others they’ve sexually abused and trying to get you to normalize this type of behaviour and accept that it happens to everyone

an adult making decisions about your sexuality and telling you what you should enjoy sexually

an adult exposing you to grooming materials where group of people you can relate to are being used as sexual outlets or toys (used as sexual slaves or pets, dehumanized and reduced to toys)

an adult implying that you are or will be anyone’s “property” or “sexual outlet” and trying to “prepare you for it”

adults using their position of power (teachers, authority figures, coaches) to ease you into accepting their sexual advances

adults getting upset and making you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex or aren’t interested

adults praising you if you do accept their sexual advances and trying to ease you into accepting more

adults trying to get you addicted to pain and into craving sexual attention from them

adults calling their sexual abuse “love” and trying to frame it as “them loving you”

adults framing their sexual abuse as a “game” and you’re supposed to play along

adults doing anything to you that you didn’t know is sexual and abusive, and would absolutely resist had you known that it was abuse, and that it would leave heavy psychological consequences on you

Physical sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults using sexual abuse (spanking, any kind of hitting or humiliation of your private areas) as a punishment for misbehaviour

an adult trapping you inside of a room or closed space and acting physically close with you, making you feel uncomfortable and endangered while you know it would be hard to escape

adults slapping, hitting, groping or fondling your private areas

adults exposing your underwear or touching it (snapping your bra, lifting your skirt, pulling on your underwear)

TW extremely triggering sexual abuse and rape

an adult kissing your mouth

an adult groping or fondling you

an adult undressing you and looking at you with sexual desire

an adult coercing you into undressing yourself in front of them and ogling your body

an adult taking a picture of you naked and using you to create child pornography

an adult sharing a sexual picture of you on the internet or any other media

an adult filming you or making any kind of sexual recording of you

an adult coercing you to get into sexual poses for them (even professionally, it’s still abuse)

an adult staring at your genitals or asking you to expose yourself to them

an adult exposing their genitals in front of you

an adult touching themselves in front of you

an adult having you touch them sexually

an adult having you tell them that you want to be touched in your private areas

an adult having you tell them to do sexual things to you (even if you say it by your own will, they are responsible for stopping you and letting you know it’s inappropriate, they have no right to sexually engage with you)

an adult sneaking into your bed and touching you sexually

an adults speaking to you as if you’re their sexual partner

an adult having you touch themselves in front of them

an adult having sexual intercourse with you (it doesn’t matter if they do it gently or if you initiated it or if you didn’t resist, it’s rape, children cannot consent to sex)

an adult engaging in oral, anal, or any kind of sex with you, or making you interact with any object sexually

an adult inflicting any kind of pain or injury on your genitals

an adult coercing you to have sexual relations with another adult or child

an adult harming you sexually

an adult praising you for enduring their sexual abuse and rape, trying to frame it as if you’ve done a good thing by staying silent or not resisting

an adult having you say that you wanted it

an adult saying that you provoked them into sexually abusing you

an adult calling their sexual behaviour “a secret” you’re not allowed to tell anyone

an adult threatening to hurt you, your family, or someone you love if you expose their sexual behaviour

an adult threatening to expose what they’ve done to you in order to humiliate you and cast shadow on your name

an adult blackmailing you with sexual materials they’ve made of you

*it’s impossible for children to stop or resist sexual abuse, because if an adult is willing to rape a child, that adult is willing to kill a child as well, child’s instincts stop them from resisting in hope their life will be spared

*children are never responsible for sexual abuse being inflicted on them, not if they ask for it, not if they initiate it, adults are responsible for protecting children for abuse, and if they use anything as an excuse to gain pleasure from molesting a child, they’re monsters

*if any of this is done to you by another child, it is still abuse, it still causes harm to you, and you still suffer consequences of it, your body is still being violated weather the perpetuators knows what they’re doing or not

*all of these are abusive even when you’re an adult, after turning 18 you’re not magically protected from grooming or any kind of abuse, and a lot of people can still take advantage of you sexually and harm you, nobody should be grooming or objectifying you or touching you without your consent at any stage in your life

*if your body reacts with arousal and lubrication to sexual abuse, it’s not a sign of you enjoying or liking it, your body is doing it for self protection, it would harm you much worse to be raped or abused without lubrication, same with orgasms, not a sign of pleasure, but desperation for it to be over

if you can bold 3 or more of these, you’ve been thru sexual abuse as a child.

[findarainbow]

This is by @furiousgoldfish I didn’t know how to bold it

Was I sexually abused in childhood by adults? Checklist. Bold the ones that happened to you, italicize if you’re unsure. This is an extremely triggering list, please proceed only if you’re ready to go through this.

Psychological and verbal sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults looking at you sexually (even if they don’t vocalize it, you can usually sense that someone is looking at you with weird intentions)

adults vocalizing their sexual views of you, calling you sexual names, commenting on you in a sexual way, objectifying you and acting like you exist only for their pleasure

adults calling you sexual slurs

adults commenting on your private parts in any way that makes you uncomfortable (pretty much any kind of talk that is not about giving you objective information, or medical assistance)

adults implying in any way they wish to have sex with you (“only if you were older”, calling you jailbait or anything in similar context)

adults blaming the shape of your body, or your appearance, for their sexual interest of you

adults claiming your body is “sinful” or “provocative” or “asking for it” and forcing you to cover it

adults saying any sexual thing they would like to do to you, or implying that any part of you exists for their pleasure

adults insulting your private parts and humiliating you

adults comparing you to pornography or other sexually provocative adults

adults exposing you to pornographic materials (even if you accidentally stumble on them, it was their responsibility to protect you from that)

adults forcing you to look at pornographic materials

adults sending you any kind of nude or sexual images or materials

adults telling you in detail about their experiences of sexual abuse and rape

adults humiliating you for development of your body and any changes you’re going thru

adults humiliating your bodily functions

adults watching you masturbate, or trying to expose you to others

an adult claiming that you enjoy sexual acts, or the idea of them, and humiliating you based on their claims

an adult claiming that you are filthy and perverted for “liking certain sexual acts”

adults managing to engage in conversation with you online and turning it sexual

adults asking you to send them images or videos of yourself via internet or phone, and coercing you into sexual conversations and behaviour

adults influencing you into touching yourself or into any other sexual act (online or in person)

adults making you feel “used” or “damaged” after they touched you or imposed the idea that you’re only good while pure and untouched

Parental sexual abuse (though anything on this list can be perpetuated by parent)

parents denying your privacy and demanding you have to be exposed to them at all times (when changing clothes, bathing, etc)

parents exposing you to, and failing to protect you from sexual predators

parents failing to provide you with proper medical care and protection when you need it

parent blaming you for sexual abuse, and siding with your abuser

parents accusing you of sexual behaviour and attacking you for it

parents imposing the myth of virginity on you and insisting non-virgins are impure or dirty

parents exposing you to false information on sex (you should bleed, or that it should hurt)

parents failing to provide you positive touch, making you easily accept touch from strangers

Sexual grooming done to children so they wouldn’t resist or even detect sexual abuse

adults introducing you to sexual experiences very early on so you wouldn’t feel there’s something un-normal or predatory about it as you grow up

adults grooming you into thinking that sexual advances from adults mean you’re special and mature, and it’s a good and normal thing

an adult bonding with you as if you were their age, trying to make you feel special and have you lower your guard around them, so you’d be more easy to sexually abuse later

adults inviting your flirtatious or sexual behaviour and approving of it, engaging in activities as if it’s okay if you started it or showed interest in them

adults taking your interest and affection towards them as an excuse that they’re allowed to do anything they wish with you, and making it seem like you asked for it

adults neglecting to give you any sort of attention except sexual, coercing you to choose between presenting yourself in sexual way, or being completely ignored and neglected and written off as “worthless”

an adult trying to make you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex, or don’t seem to want to engage in sexual activities at all, or seem hesitant about it

an adult implying that eventually you will have to have sex, no matter if you wanted or not

an adult teaching you how you should react to sex, trying to get you to ignore your instincts and boundaries and just accept whatever is happening to you

an adult telling you that “everyone does this” and making you feel like you’re behind on everyone if you refuse their sexual advances

an adult telling you about others they’ve sexually abused and trying to get you to normalize this type of behaviour and accept that it happens to everyone

an adult making decisions about your sexuality and telling you what you should enjoy sexually

an adult exposing you to grooming materials where group of people you can relate to are being used as sexual outlets or toys (used as sexual slaves or pets, dehumanized and reduced to toys)

an adult implying that you are or will be anyone’s “property” or “sexual outlet” and trying to “prepare you for it”

adults using their position of power (teachers, authority figures, coaches) to ease you into accepting their sexual advances

adults getting upset and making you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex or aren’t interested

adults praising you if you do accept their sexual advances and trying to ease you into accepting more

adults trying to get you addicted to pain and into craving sexual attention from them

adults calling their sexual abuse “love” and trying to frame it as “them loving you”

adults framing their sexual abuse as a “game” and you’re supposed to play along

adults doing anything to you that you didn’t know is sexual and abusive, and would absolutely resist had you known that it was abuse, and that it would leave heavy psychological consequences on you

Physical sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults using sexual abuse (spanking, any kind of hitting or humiliation of your private areas) as a punishment for misbehaviour

an adult trapping you inside of a room or closed space and acting physically close with you, making you feel uncomfortable and endangered while you know it would be hard to escape

adults slapping, hitting, groping or fondling your private areas

adults exposing your underwear or touching it (snapping your bra, lifting your skirt, pulling on your underwear)

TW extremely triggering sexual abuse and rape

an adult kissing your mouth

an adult groping or fondling you

an adult undressing you and looking at you with sexual desire

an adult coercing you into undressing yourself in front of them and ogling your body

an adult taking a picture of you naked and using you to create child pornography

an adult sharing a sexual picture of you on the internet or any other media

an adult filming you or making any kind of sexual recording of you

an adult coercing you to get into sexual poses for them (even professionally, it’s still abuse)

an adult staring at your genitals or asking you to expose yourself to them

an adult exposing their genitals in front of you

an adult touching themselves in front of you

an adult having you touch them sexually

an adult having you tell them that you want to be touched in your private areas

an adult having you tell them to do sexual things to you (even if you say it by your own will, they are responsible for stopping you and letting you know it’s inappropriate, they have no right to sexually engage with you)

an adult sneaking into your bed and touching you sexually

an adults speaking to you as if you’re their sexual partner

an adult having you touch themselves in front of them

an adult having sexual intercourse with you (it doesn’t matter if they do it gently or if you initiated it or if you didn’t resist, it’s rape, children cannot consent to sex)

an adult engaging in oral, anal, or any kind of sex with you, or making you interact with any object sexually

an adult inflicting any kind of pain or injury on your genitals

an adult coercing you to have sexual relations with another adult or child

an adult harming you sexually

an adult praising you for enduring their sexual abuse and rape, trying to frame it as if you’ve done a good thing by staying silent or not resisting

an adult having you say that you wanted it

an adult saying that you provoked them into sexually abusing you

an adult calling their sexual behaviour “a secret” you’re not allowed to tell anyone

an adult threatening to hurt you, your family, or someone you love if you expose their sexual behaviour

an adult threatening to expose what they’ve done to you in order to humiliate you and cast shadow on your name

an adult blackmailing you with sexual materials they’ve made of you

*it’s impossible for children to stop or resist sexual abuse, because if an adult is willing to rape a child, that adult is willing to kill a child as well, child’s instincts stop them from resisting in hope their life will be spared

*children are never responsible for sexual abuse being inflicted on them, not if they ask for it, not if they initiate it, adults are responsible for protecting children for abuse, and if they use anything as an excuse to gain pleasure from molesting a child, they’re monsters

*if any of this is done to you by another child, it is still abuse, it still causes harm to you, and you still suffer consequences of it, your body is still being violated weather the perpetuators knows what they’re doing or not

*all of these are abusive even when you’re an adult, after turning 18 you’re not magically protected from grooming or any kind of abuse, and a lot of people can still take advantage of you sexually and harm you, nobody should be grooming or objectifying you or touching you without your consent at any stage in your life

*if your body reacts with arousal and lubrication to sexual abuse, it’s not a sign of you enjoying or liking it, your body is doing it for self protection, it would harm you much worse to be raped or abused without lubrication, same with orgasms, not a sign of pleasure, but desperation for it to be over

if you can bold 3 or more of these, you’ve been thru sexual abuse as a child.

[victuuriwriters]

Welcome to the VWC’s Weekly Bulletin, where we feature what’s new and exciting in Victuuri fanfic every week. Look here to get a glimpse at new works that have been posted in the fandom, updated WIP fics, works from our Collective authors, and what the admins have been reading this week.

New Works

Happy Easter, Yuuri! by nerdlife4eva: Victor surprises Yuuri with an American style Easter egg hunt, while Yuuri… Yuuri surprises Victor in a whole other way.

The Tsesarevich lives! (WIP) by mtothedestiel: An Anastasia AU. Victor is an orphan with no name, no family, and no memory of a time before he was ten years old. Could he really be the missing Nikiforov heir? An adventure across Europe with two conmen will lead him to the answer. Hopeless Teenage Heart by kiaronna: Well-adjusted adults do not usually consider a tipsy teenage encounter in a bathroom to be the peak of their sexual experience, especially if that encounter was mostly chaste, closed mouth kisses and sighing into each others shoulders as they sat on the cool, real marble of the hotel’s sink basin. Yuuri might not be a well-adjusted adult.

Viktor and Yuuri meet in a high school debate competition, and then later as lawyers in New York. Some things change with time, but others never do.

Lawyer/debate kid AU, short one-shot. Golden Boy by wildenessat221b: The rise of Viktor Nikiforov, the pedestals he's been put on, the people he's been and eventually, the person who makes it all worthwhile. It's a crazy ride, but he gets there.

You Set My Heart on Fire by whelvenwings: Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone sees any marks on their soulmate's skin appear on their own body; it starts with the first marks, drawn on by the midwife at birth. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a soulmate who replies, but Yuuri does, and he knows that he should feel fortunate - however, when he's trying to make a living as a small-time painter, and his soulmate is the famous artist, Viktor Nikiforov... well, it seems slightly less than fortunate. Yuuri can't help but feel self-conscious. So self-conscious, in fact, that he's never even shown Viktor his face, never let Viktor hear his voice. The only way that they've spoken is through ink, writing message after message to each other on their skin - but that's all about to change.

WIP Updates

the “real” victor nikiforov (WIP) by thishasbeencary: So, fine, maybe Yuuri's a little bored and lonely when he likes a dating profile claiming to be Viktor Nikiforov. And, maybe, he's a little pathetic when he gets excited when the account messages him almost immediately after. And, he's definitely stupid for falling in love with someone pretending to be his idol, but he can't help it. It's not like it's the real Viktor Nikiforov, anyway. He knows someone is catfishing him, but he still falls ridiculously in love.

The Return of the Little Piggy (WIP) by SASS_QUEEN: Once there was a boy named Katsuki Yuuri, who was shy, loved to make clothes, had adorable smiles and was fatter than the usual average human being. Unfortunately for him, apparently being chubby wasn't all that accepted in the norm back then. After numerous accounts of bullying, Katsuki Yuuri disappears for good. Now years later, there is now a man only known as Y.K. Fashion tyrant, multimillionaire, professional cold-stare giver... and is trying his ultimate best to run away from his dark past, until a certain silver haired CEO of a certain rival company who went to the same certain college he went to back then decides to flat out entangle their fates together. Do both of them have anything to say for it? Sadly, no. No they don't. (Fashion & Couture AU)

Setting Sun (WIP) by LittleLostStar: Canon-divergent AU. In which Yuuri humiliatingly loses Hot Springs on Ice, Victor goes back to Russia to train Yurio, Yuuri is trapped in Japan with a sadistic replacement, and everyone is miserable—until the night that Yuuri posts some personally relevant song lyrics on Instagram, and wakes up the next morning to find that Victor has posted lyrics which seem to be a reply. Yuuri is sure he's just projecting his regretful wishes onto irrelevant social media posts, rather than Victor talking to him—until it happens again. And again. With the world watching their every move, Victor and Yuuri begin trading lyrics in a secret musical conversation; from playful rivalry to intense seduction, through bubblegum pop and pulse-pounding guitars, their virtual affair unfolds, hidden in plain sight. But the Grand Prix approaches, and one wrong move from Victor or Yuuri could destroy their careers. They'll just have to pretend they're not crazy about each other; how hard could it be?

fire on ice (WIP) by indianchai: Everyone in the world had some sort of affinity with one of the four elements; the proper term was elemental affinity– whether they were best suited with fire, water, earth, or air. All figure skaters were water users. Never in the history of the sport was there professional ice skater that didn't have water as their elemental affinity. Katsuki Yuri had a well-guarded secret that he couldn't have anyone find out about. aka, the one where Yuri could potentially decimate the rink every time he steps on ice, but no one can know. Especially Victor.

Re: Yuri Katsuki (WIP) by Ishxallxgood: A story about how Phichit and Viktor bonded over their most favorite topic; Yuri Katsuki. Phichit knows all the things.

New in #victuuriwriters

Katsuki Yuuri: Ascended Fanboy by Defiant-Dreams: “And wow, that was a beautiful Viktor—I mean, a beautiful Quad Flip by Viktor.” Yuuri visibly winces and he momentarily covers his face. Morooka glances at him in concern but Yuuri shrugs it off quickly and shakes his head as he continues, “Really, others try to do it, but no one does a Quad Flip quite as well or quite as clean as Viktor—if they even manage to land it.”

Or:

AU where Yuuri goes into commentating instead but he still has a Huge Gay Crush on Viktor Nikiforov and everyone can tell.

fall even deeper with you by missmichellebelle: Right at the start of the dock is a series of signs, prohibiting diving, warning against swimming without supervision, and absolutely forbidding entering the lake at night.

chaos theory (WIP) by thishasbeencary: "Spare no expense," had been Yakov's response to every phone call that Viktor made about the park, which was exactly why Viktor had worked to revive Jurassic Park into Jurassic World. The same idea, but bigger, and better. Bigger park, bigger attractions, bigger dinosaurs, better structures... So why is attendance dropping so much? Maybe the addition of a brand new genetically modified dinosaur would fix that problem.

(Meanwhile, Yuuri Katsuki has a pack of Velociraptors, and Yuri Plisetsky gets invited to bring a friend on an all expense paid trip to Viktor's park.)

And while they've built everything up so that things couldn't possibly go wrong, well... Life finds a way.

Come Fly with Me by Multiple_Universes: Phichit and Yuuri work for a charter airline, the CEO of which is Celestino. One day they have to fly legendary pilot Victor Nikiforov who saved 232 passengers by making a miraculous landing. Can Yuuri get a date from him before the plane lands? And what will it lead to? Penicillin and Butterfly Band-Aids by doeinstinct: Yuuri is sure that he really isn't that sick. Viktor and their children aren't so sure.

Admin Picks

Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare (WIP) by exile_wrath: the tale of Yuuri Katsuki, who never ages and never dies and has lived frozen in time for centuries, and his attempts to keep his adopted son from killing the new guest.

Immortality au!! It’s so good :’)

Who Is Coach Yuri? by glitteryimagay: the aged-up au where three oblivious teenage boys are clueless when it comes to famous people in the skating world and don't realize their coach is actually just as famous as the rink owner

Ngl, identity reveals are my favorite yoi trope and this one had me in stitches. Absolutely hilarious!

(after)life and love by thishasbeencary: After Yuuri died, he woke up to a bright, flickering light above him. And, well, yeah, Yuuri had heard the phrase that after you die you "see the light", but he was almost positive that "the light" didn't refer to an overhead lamp. Especially not the overhead lamp in Viktor Nikiforov's bedroom. Wait, no, what? Maybe this was heaven. Except, if this was the afterlife, why was Viktor acting like he didn't exist? And why was Yuuri's afterlife some creepy stalker-dream of him following around Viktor Nikiforov?

This is such a cool soulmate au?? 10/10 would recommend

ivan da maria (WIP) by c0rnfl0wer: Viktor never minded when human civilization built up around him, or when other spirits began sharing the waters with him. He easily dominated every tradition that the centuries presented; that was what he minded. No one wants to be known for tragedy. No one wants to be bound to loneliness and despair forever. No one wants to drag their beloved one down. Everyone wants a happy ending, even if it isn’t in their nature.

This is a Russian/Slavic mythology AU where Victor is a rusalka who sees Yuuri in the village one day. I’d recommend this if you’re into historical/ethereal fairytales or enjoy a poetic writing style. I was enchanted by every word and I can’t wait for the next update! (And I promise that the MCD warning is not what it seems at all. Do not let that deter you from reading it!) 

centripetal force by braveten: Victor speaks seven languages.(Physics isn't one of them.)Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.

Listen, I’m probably way behind because I just finished centripetal force this week, but it literally was so magical I can’t not recommend it! If you’re one of the rare fandom members like me who hasn’t experienced this beautiful, fun fic yet, then please read it. You won’t be disappointed at all! 

[khhunniewriting]

Rap Daddy (11)

Episode 11: Rap Prodigy

“Rap Daddy was created with one thing in mind. Find children who not only inherited their father’s rap skills but also share the dream of becoming a rap prodigy. All of you have been labeled rap prodigy by someone.” The producer pointed at the twins and began reading from the list in her hands. “Yong-Jin and Yong-Min’s avid promoter is their godfather and speed rap legend Outsider.”

The boys smiled appreciating their godfather’s support.

“Apart from him there are other artists such as B.A.P Zelo, B1A4 Baro, MYNAME Jun Q, Tablo, B2st Kikwang, Teen Top C.A.P, and even the underground label Soul Connection keeps mentioning that they would gladly take their former member’s sons under their wing. Most recently CL has mentioned the twins after having met them here on the show.”

“Soul Connection meant a lot to me. They helped me get to where I am today and their recognition of Yong-Jin and Yong-Min lets me know I’m not biased.” He laughed, “Underground or idol, it doesn’t matter which path they chose. Yong-Jin and Yong-Min will do well.”

“King and Ji-Young have quickly become labeled rap prodigies thanks to YG. Apart from representing both Mino and Bobby he also recognized Ji-Young’s good looks and talent for the runway. King has been praised by G-Dragon & T.OP, even now he will be featured on their upcoming album.”

“Really?” Namjoon asked. This was the first time he heard the news.

Mino nodded, “it hasn’t been announced to the media yet but by the time this airs it will be.”

Bobby tapped King on the shoulder. “King, you should promote the sunbaenims.”

King nodded and stood up to stand in front of the others. “Hello, this is Rap King, I will be featuring with G-Dragon sunbaenim and TOP sunbaenim’s new album. Look forward to it.”

“Is he promoting them or himself” Yongguk joked as King walked back to his spot. 

The others laughed knowing King would take the spotlight even from GD & TOP. Mino especially shook his head. He had hoped because he was with such high-level seniors in the industry King would tone down his complex. But of course King was King and he would not change even for G-Dragon. “No one is safe from King. He will take the spotlight.”

“King’s mentions in the media by other artists include Big Bang GD & TOP, SPEED Taewon, Masta Wu, Tablo, Block B Zico, Kyung, and P.O.” 

King’s ego was through the roof as he heard the list. He himself had never heard all the times someone mentioned him in the media. He was only aware of what was said to him personally. 

“Ji-Young’s mentions in the media include Illionaire records CEO Dok2, The Quiett, Mad Clown, IKON’s B.I, Tablo, Masta Wu.”

The producer now put her attention on Mona who was sitting on Namjoon’s lap playing with his fingers as she listened to the introduction the producer did on every one of her oppas. “Now Kim Mona never had exposure before the show. There were fan cams and while there was conversation about her it wasn’t about her skills as a rap prodigy. It was about the way Namjoon treated her like a princess.”

Mona smiled nodding to agree with the statement. She even gave Namjoon a kiss on the cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. 

“Now after exposing her skills on the show she too has earned the title of rap prodigy.”

The rap daddies began clapping and cheering for her. The kids followed and did the same. King and Mona even gave each other a fist bump to celebrate in a very hip-hop style.

“By the way today we will be having a guest.”

The producer's announcement of a guest had the kids on edge as they wondered who would be coming this time. 

“Before Mona, there was only one other little girl who became a rap prodigy. Her father has spoken of all four of the boys before. I mentioned his name already.” The producer gave them a hint.

Bobby, Mino, and Yongguk looked at each other with question marks. 

“You don’t remember the list?” Namjoon asked them. He remembered each of theirs and had already pieced it together.

“Were we supposed to pay attention to the list” Bobby asked.

“Tablo is the one who you all have in common but he is not the guest today.” The producer turned their attention towards the small stage where a young woman walked out holding onto a stuffed dolphin. Her bright smile lit up her face. “Hello, I am Lee Haru rapper of Deep Blue Duo.”

Haru went around greeting and bowing to each of the fathers who were seniors to her in the industry. 

“We are always outnumbered by YG artists” Namjoon joked to Yongguk. 

“No, no, no I’m not in YG.” Haru corrected them. “I’m with my father’s company.”

Mino clapped his hands in realization. “Ah, that’s right!” This startled the others but got their attention. “Tablo hyung made his own company when he left YG.”

“For those of you who do not recognize her. Haru debuted three years ago when she was sixteen. She along with vocalist Shin Jisoo make up the duo known as Deep Blue Duo. The name was created by Haru herself who has a love for the ocean, especially dolphins.” The producer went through Haru’s credentials as a rapper mostly for the kids. “Today’s challenge will be coming from her.”

Haru nodded in excitement. “I made a challenge to test not just the rap skills of the kid prodigy but also their relationship with their father.”

“We’re involved to” Yongguk asked.

“Yes, today I want to challenge you all to do a cypher.”

“Cypher?” Ji-Young questioned. He had never heard of it before. King and the twins all looked equally perplexed. Mona, on the other hand, was well aware of what a cypher was. 

She looked up at Namjoon with an ‘o’ shaped mouth looking excited after hearing the word for the first time on the show. “Like Suga cypher!” 

“What is a cypher?” Yong-Min finally asked the question out loud. 

Haru was ready with the explanation. “A cypher is a freestyle rap form.”

“Yes!” Ji-Young pumped his fist up hearing the word freestyle. He was sure he had the advantage for this challenge.

“The way you have to think about the cypher is like a rap competition. You will get turns to rap one or two lines and pass it to the next person. That person then has to continue from where the last person left off. You can’t interrupt anyone during the cypher and must go in order. One immediately after the other.”

“What were your thoughts on the cypher challenge?”

Yong-Jin shrugged, “I don’t know. I never knew what a cypher was and I’m not very good at freestyle so I sat quietly trying to think of something.”

After getting the kids to form a circle the rap daddies formed another circle around them. Haru stood in the middle of the kid's circle where she would moderate the cypher. “The kids will have to give a verse about what it’s like to be a rap prodigy while the rap daddies will describe how they feel about their child wanting to follow in their footsteps.”

The instructions were clear enough to understand. The kids were jumping around feeling excited and nervous to start. “We will go kids, parent, kids, parent and so on. For Yongguk sunbaenim it will go kid kid parent.”

Yongguk and the twins nodded understanding how theirs will play out.

“It feels like a real competition” King commented.

“Yeah” Mona laughed nervously.

The twins were calm, they were used to the competition like atmosphere. That is why Haru decided to start with them. The producer began to play the beat Haru had made for the cypher and instantly some of them were already moving their heads and feet to it.

“When I point you start” Haru spoke over the music. She waited for the right moment in the beat then pointed at Yong-Jin.

Speaking only for myself I accept the title of prodigy. B.A.P’s baritone leader is legendary. I’ll try and follow his footsteps and expand his prophecy. For now I’m just a prodigy, but soon I’ll be legendary.  What about you bruh?

I agree, follow my rap daddy’s legacy. They see me as a prodigy, rapping faster than I can breathe. I’ll be the pioneer, you will see. Captions are essential to a speed rappers presentation, but with me there won’t be no technology that can handle my velocity.

Being a speed rapper meant Yong-Jin and Yong-Min could fit more lines into their time.

I’m proud of them no doubt about it. I had my fun and passed my time on the stage. Backed away due to pressure to perform past my limits I was being tormented by the critics. You two won’t be the same because you started at a young age. Your determination is clear go about it with no fear because I will always be here.

Namjoon was extremely impressed by Yongguk’s sincerity. He nodded giving him a thumbs up for such a great verse.

“You can’t go wrong when you speak your feelings so clearly. Yongguk had some bumps along the road and he hopes to help the twins so they don’t have to feel the same way he did.” Namjoon felt very emotional about it. He didn’t know why. 

Haru was pleased with the skills of the twins. She found it hard to find any mistakes. She too was touched by Yongguk’s words.

“At first my dad tried to talk me out of being a rapper. He was concerned about my feelings and me being criticized for having it easy. Just because he is a well-established rapper people might think I’m piggybacking from his fame but that’s not true. They are just haters and hate is not something that should be acknowledged.” 

Going in order of the circle that they had formed Ji-Young knew he was next. 

Rap prodigy is a brand new title, I was always branded a kid model. I prefer to be more like my father, a top rap idol with no rival. Rap prodigy turns to international rap IKON, Young Boss.

Haru and the rap daddies applauded Ji-Young for the way he incorporated his father’s idol group name into his rap.

“That little kid is quick” Haru tapped her head with her index finger.

Bobby nodded liking Ji-Young’s incorporation to the cypher.

Most people don’t earn a living until they are young adults My son, the prodigy has earned his living since he was three. Modeling, rapping, it don’t matter. He will always be the master.

King didn’t jump in immediately after Bobby. He waited for a moment only adding an “uh” and a “yeah” before starting when he felt the beat was perfect for his verse.

The hype? I deserve it. All of this comes naturally. Not known for my modesty.  Rap prodigy? Not for me, I’m the King of this aristocracy.

My son is a king of rhythm and rhyme. I’m proud to say, he will surpass me in no time. I don’t worry about the critics or the press. They won’t get through his King complex.

The rap daddies nodded agreeing with Mino’s statement. Haru’s jaw dropped hearing the audacity King had. From his arched brow to his head that was held high, Haru took note of it all.

“It would be great if everyone could be as confident as King.” Yongguk liked that what was usually viewed as a negative thing had been turned into a positive thing for King.

Everyone’s attention turned to Mona who would give the last contribution to the cypher. She smiled widely as she saw the expectant faces of the others.

I’ve got a rap mommy and a rap daddy to surpass. Prodigy? In all honesty this is only the beginning of my odyssey. Just a wannabe raising the quality one day I will lead this game, wanna see?

“Has she read the odyssey?” Bobby asked. He was always being surprised by the things Mona knew. 

Mino and Yongguk also wondered how she knew about the Odyssey.

No doubt of her talent, she steps up to the challenge. One day you will see, my baby girl you can’t defeat. Top quality, rap prodigy, baby girl can always count on me. Your odyssey will never end in tragedy.

After Namjoon’s verse, they figured he must have taught her about that story. Just as they all clapped thinking it was over Haru cleared her voice.

Lee Haru, that’s my name. Started from a young age, like you just the same. I have a rap daddy with lot’s of fame and love for his offspring. Rap prodigy, you and me, making it to the top is nothing.

The beat stopped bringing the cypher to an end. Everyone clapped feeling accomplished. 

“That was fun” Ji-Young commented. He would definitely be up for another cypher challenge. 

“You all did such a good job” Haru was amazed by how well all of the kids did. “It’s good to see that you all know what you want and are willing to work for it.”

“Haru is in the middle of making an album called prodigy. She made this beat herself and has recorded her verse along with Jisoo’s vocals. She came here to show it to all of you hoping you will all record it professionally for her album.”

“Really?” Mona asked excitedly. She couldn’t imagine being in a song. She didn’t have any experience close to that level yet. On the other hand, King was already going to be featured in another song as well.

Haru nodded, “I want you all to be able to tell your story now at this young age. Then when you are older you have something to look back at and see how far you have progressed.”

They had all agreed to record the song with Haru.

“I appreciate being able to meet everyone today. The twins, Yong-Jin and Yong-Min are fast approaching trainee age. Soon there will be countless offers coming their way. Ji-Young already started high with his YGK+ contract but his style is very underground so who knows what he will do. He is a black horse. King, on the other hand, you can tell right away he would not like to be a trainee at all. He would most likely be signed and debuted right away.” Haru then smiled as she thought of Mona. “Mona reminds me a lot of myself. I’ve seen the old broadcasts of my father and I. Many people said our bond was very tight. I see that similar bond between Mona and Namjoon. That is why I am cheering for her success.”

“Do you have any final advice for the kids?”

“Never give up” Haru laughed. It was a very cliche piece of advice but it was very important. “Maybe in 5-8 years we will meet again and collaborate.”

For the final scene, the kids and Haru posed for a picture. When it was shown to the audience there was a caption naming them the OG Prodigy Class.

-end-

A/N: Sorry it took so long to write this episode. I hope you all like the visit from Haru. It was an idea given to me by: fuckentrash. Go ahead and thank her for being a part of the creativity. Next episode will be a father’s day theme. Look forward to it ^^

[eldaryanrevolution]

The rant, english version

Here it is guys, the full rant, accessible to all. Enjoy.

“Hello.

I’m taking the time to leave my opinion on an episode for the first time ever. And I have a great many things to say, so let’s take a big breath, and here we go.

Where do I start ? Ah, yes, Leiftan. As long as he was a vague something we walked upon from time to time by chance, he was bearable. The more you inflict him upon us the less I like him. He’s creepy, overbearing, he also invites us (we don’t have the option to refuse, but we’ll come back to that) to have a drink together, although before our return from Balenvia, he was more like John, our collegue from Accountability we see at the coffee machine. And him coming to « reassure » us after the gardienne woke up is so goshdarn forced, it’s ridiculous. And we won’t even talk about the unease the « oh, he reminds me of my mother » gave me.

Next, the dialogues. Oh my god, the dialogues. And I don’t mean only those of this episode. No, it’s an issue that exists since the very first episodes. They are empty, they fall flat, and they’re not natural at all. And full of expressions used in writing, at most, but that no real person has ever said out loud in a real conversation in the real life. I know « blah blah blah, they live in a magic world, it’s normal they don’t exactly speak like real people » No. This argument doesn’t stand as we switch between « I do not know » (which is ridiculous) and « miss ». I hate to have my gardienne called « miss » [Translator note : in French, we can call girls and young women « miss » but it’s a pet name like « sweety »], it’s infantilizing, she’s supposed to be an adult (she says she’s graduated from high school in ep 1 and that she lives on her own in ep 13). Same problem with « girls » and « boys », we are not at school !

Since we’re talking about writing problems, please, please, stop using passé simple in the descritpion boards [Translator note : in written French, we’re taught to use passé simple, which is kind of like your past preterit. But it’s only for written form, and only for past events]How do I explain ? We all agree that the story presented to us is happening right now, the gardienne isn’t recalling the events 30 years later. However using the passé simple in descriptions is in total opposition with the time of the story. I understand that yeeeeeeeeees, in French, it’s advised to write with both passé simple and impartfait. In a novel. Ding ding ding, we are not reading a novel, we are playing, acting. In the present. The solution is simple, I promise : switch to passé composé [Translator note : passé simple is like the present perfect, and mostly used in spoken French for past events].

Let’s go back to this episode : as usual, nothing happens, we spend our days lazing around the deserted GQ. Seeing the militaristic governement the Eel Guard is, they could have established a list of duties and a rigourous discipline. But, of course, no, there are, at best 15 idiots lost in a huge building, and the gardienne walking around waiting the time to pass. I don’t know, maybe relaease episodes less often but give us something to do ! Like some action (btw have the QTE been completely forgotten?), or developping the lore or the characters. And please, please, stop using ellipses ! If you want us to take part in an event (more like, you don’t give us the choise to participate), don’t rush it, otherwise it’s useless or underdevelopped. Like the « birthday party » or something. Do I have to remind you the gardienne is an adult every 15 lines ? At best, it looks more like the personnel party at work, with people you don’t know but you’re still forced to interact with for a few hours in stiffling awkwardness. Great.

Ah, yes, the characters. The one and only good thing I found in this episode, is to have been able to figuratively launch Karenn in the sun with our hatred for her. We are not friends, not mates, not even acquaitances. She’s bland, childish, and worst of all, the whole Guard lets her go away with everything, because she has « potential » poor baby. By the way, the security system is top notch, she’s sent to her room (with a wrist tap and no desserts?), no more than 20 minutes later she’s walking around the gardens like nothing happened. And noone questions it. At this point, and with a lov'o'meter under 0, all I’m asking is for her to leave me alone. Why would she even want to talk to me when I shut her down as soon as she opens her mouth ? What about Chrome ? Oh, he’s nice, but he’s obnoxious, clingy and childish. Is the Eel Guard only using soldier children ? The median for mental age can’t be above 15 year-old. The only ones who make me go « aaaaaw » are Jamon (who deserves better than to be the « big buff with a heart of gold » trope, thank you very much) and Cryllis. Ezarel, as he’s been since the beginning, is a jerk, and I’m sorry but I couldn’t find a more polite word. He’s arrogant, cold, a bully. He has literally no redeeming qualities (also, he’s seem to have forgotten the gardienne is half faerie in his racist rant).

Then we have all the inconcistencies. First of all, how come Karuto, who isn’t able to cook pasta (kudos to gardienne, an adult, who can’t cook pasta if the package isn’t in her language, because tasttesting if the pasta is cooked is way too hard, poor dear), how come Karuto made a « mille-feuilles de crêpes façon tiramisu » ? How ?? Did the rationning stop and noone told us ? It is your universe, for heck’s sake, errors this big shouldn’t happen. AH, and thank you for making the Purrekos mafia canon. I mean, we knew, of course, with the prices and all. Ah, the prices, since we’re at it. After an episode I call « Corpse Party »-esque where we spend all our maanas walking around empty building looking for our friends for hours, you come to us and ask for even more maanas for overpriced ingredients. Ingredients not available, at the moment I writing this, for lower levels. I’m lucky enough to have a diligent familiar that brings me the eaux de Léthé by the wheelbarrow, and I could save some manaas thanks to other players that have still to realise that asking for too much at the market is bad for them. At 75 the bottle, mine were bought very fast.

We’re now approaching my final point, but before, let’s pause on something that shocked and disappointed me greatly, because you can still dissapoint me. The woman with a beard joke. Good job. We’re in 2017, I remind you. Good job for this message of ridicule for all of those whose body doesn’t fit the society’s unattainable ideals. Thank you for laughing at young girls already laughed at too much by medias. This joke is cruel and stupid. This game, played by young people should thrive to promote acceptance and tolerance, not reuse the same old jokes.

Now I can talk about my main issue with this not awful episode. The finale. To be precise, the circumstances around the illustration. I must remind you, most of your players are teen girls and yound women, and I know for sure that you, Chino and Hikaru, are women too. I’m going to use simple words. Forcing someone to kiss you (i.e when they didn’t give you the go ahead) is bad. It’s direspectful and an agression. And then, making that person swallow a liquid they expressily said they didn’t want to drink, it’s…

Me having to scream at that trope in 2017 makes me question reality. At what point in the writing process did you decide it was a good idea ? And for the illustration ! Oh, it’s so romantic, for sure. Having one’s desire ignored and being touched without one’s consent by someone one trusts is so romantic. So, for the last time, good job. Yes, good job to you for normalising violences on women by an illusion of romance. Good job to you for showing young girls, with the rest of the media, that being forced to kiss someone is enviable.

I’m already seeing through which hoops you’ll jump to justify this violent act (like : it was for the greater good, because you wouldn’t have accepted after a conversation and some thinking) and have the gardienne forgive it, and I’m already feeling nauseous. I didn’t ask for much from this game, a few adventures, some jokes, the bar wasn’t really that high. And you still managed to walk right under it.

Good job.”

[redwoodpress]

“Babel”

I watched my TV screen weeks ago as state after state bled the color red, foreshadowing a death that would break across not only my TV, but my America. Subtle whispers of profanity escaped my lips the same familiar way they have when tragedy affected my life, as every border dripped into the next, like a color by number sent from hell. The only thought that kept coming back around, “This is America. This is America. This is America.”

So many of you called me to weep into the phone, asking the static silence between us to change the outcome. Your fears were sent to me from other countries. The defeat that landed on your bones you gave to me that night and we tried to carry it together. You ranted, screamed, went silent. We all processed in a myriad of ways. I walked onto my school campus and familiar faces were gone. Protests broke out, everyone split like the Red Sea, and that night I cried myself to sleep because I realized I wasn’t Jesus and I couldn’t hold the weight of your emotions in my hands. I was tired for you. I was tired for me. I was tired.

I told a friend the other day that if the phrase, “God is in control” has become a language that is only used to silence you, I will not say it right now. I won’t erase your pain with empty Christian jargon.

You are mourning, I am too. I am listening. There is nothing but love in my heart for you. Before I say more, know that if I have any internalized racism in my body, I don’t want it. I never did. But we have the choice every day to love or hate each other. This is humanity.

Friends, we were destined to fall. From Genesis to now, we are still falling into some bad dream. Whether it’s Greek mythology or it is literal, whether the world was created in seven days or Charles Darwin’s view on creation wasn’t that far off, whether you kiss the bible or you want it to burn in the hell it speaks of, we are still broken. This is America. This is the world. This is sin. Hate me for bringing God into this conversation. Hate me for talking about sin; but look around, is anything else working? Do people, on an individual basis, suddenly believe you and fall at your feet when you argue? Are we getting anywhere?

I tried to remember as I sat in my astronomy class that this world is a dot in an expansive universe. It’s still spinning, at just the right angles, to keep us alive and well. We have made it through the Depression, two World Wars, the Holocaust. I am not decreasing those events, nor invalidating the present. But we are still here. We have felt deep loss and time has given us just enough to keep growing through and out of the pain. We watched 9/11 as children-we feared that day as something so strong and mighty fell. As dust storms chased after people like a horror film and fires choked them out of life; we wondered if we would ever recover. We are still standing.

But we will never have perfect stability.

Former wars, pointless like Vietnam took innocent lives as it depicted faulty images on our televisions. Media took us in its grimy hands and left us isolated, confused, devastated. Language made blanket statements out of us, human documents that anyone could read and somehow understand, instead of individuals who have been written by complex experiences, loss, love, heartbreak, humiliation, triumph. It became “us” and “them”. Power, privilege, oppression, entitled, injustice, white supremacy, woke-there are a lot of hot words floating around, and not everyone knows what they mean. The words reinforced the borders; pathways to individual people are getting caution taped. Dialogue is broken and conversations are dead-one word out of someone’s mouth is suddenly cause to crucify them, instead of educate.  I hear a tower of Babel; we’re all speaking a language that no one will listen to. The definitions have trapped us all. Enough.

We were told to love our enemies. We were told to bear with one another in love. Anger is good, hate is not. Focus. Fight for people, instead of just fighting.

We will never have perfect stability.

There will always be angry, ignorant, white men in the middle of America who hate African-Americans, the LGBTQA community, women, immigrants, Muslims. There will always be people in those groups who hate those white men back. Social media will always be a faulty platform to write atrocious things to people in anger.

Honestly, we chose to hear what we wanted to hear. We were living in the fear of the question, “Is it this bad? Is America this bad that these are the best candidates?” And then as politics progressed the fear ate us alive and vulnerability gave us no other choice than to believe a lie. That politics was all we had. That media from terrible sources defined us. And we became the borders that Trump talked about. They were both racist, corrupt, aggressive in sexual assault or passive in preventing it, drunk on power, drunk on money, fallen-whether they said it like a badge of honor on national television or did it behind closed doors. They still are. We lived within the walls of corruption before Trump even talked about his damn wall. Before he got elected, we chose hope against all odds in unimaginable filth. And then the nightmare came true and we threw out hope and fell back into filth. Hate. We let a single man get inside our heads and spin us in circles.

It’s a shame, it’s embarrassing and surreal. Because I look at the rest of the world, having been to third world countries, and their generosity is uncanny. They have nothing and their hands are open and they say, “Here. Take it from me. Take the shirt off my back.” Their hands are open for not only us, but for the seemingly improbable truth of hope.

And we are here, screaming our own pride into every facet of communication available, and to be honest, it’s making me sick. The story isn’t about us. Other countries seem to understand this.

We’re all yelling about self-love, and that’s important, but I have more things to do than to just love myself. There are a lot more people who need love, and it’s about time we start doing it.

Fighting for the orphan and the widow isn’t optional. Fighting for immigrants isn’t optional.

We are better than this.

We’ve worshiped fear. We’ve set up an altar and bowed down. One side mentions God and the others say they are privileged and white and don’t understand pain. Another side speaks out about their very real oppression and injustice and the others tell them that it’s not happening. Our experiences are not the same, you’re right. I am not you. But to be honest, I told myself that God was in control because I had nothing else; I was horrified at the state of our country. I didn’t say that God was on the throne to suddenly diminish that systems are still broken and people are still in need. I didn’t say it as a means to turn a blind eye to injustice, and I know many did. I say that God is control because I cling to nothing else, our world is chaotic, and I have nothing left that brings the sweet waters of peace. Maybe that sounds privileged, but it’s what I have right now.

The divide is getting wider, we have to stop it.

We somehow thought we should stack up our pain and struggle next to each other and let them compete. We’re not the same but we have both held hands with fear, and eaten depression for breakfast, and been paralyzed by tragedy. I don’t want to be in this game anymore, and nobody wins when we compare scars. Fear is real, fear is valid. But fear is still just that-fear. It’s easy, it’s natural, it’s a reflex, and it is something we can fight. Whether you are more affected by this election or not, we still have choices to make about the demons that tuck us in at night and how we are going to send them back to hell. We’re in this together, let’s act.

I don’t ask for ignorance. I don’t ask you not to feel, not to cry, not to see darkness, because we have faced a death of sorts. But I urge you, in this time, to look around at the people taking care of one another. I urge you to look back and see the ways people took care of one another in times of war, disaster, tragedy and learn from them. Look at how people love each other and wake up when nightmares become realities. We can do the same-give, share, find peace in calamity. People are reaching out with both arms in places they cannot see light for others doing the same. If we generalize others into groups without families, personalities, capacity for love and loss, capacity for understanding, we become our own boot camps of hatred. If we don’t help each other realize that, we will be alone, aching over an unstable America, asking it to be heaven. This is not heaven.

By the same token: I didn’t go to church for 5 years because I disagreed with a lot of the things the evangelical church was doing, or not doing. I was questioning, and I was frustrated that the church was not doing one of its primary jobs, to seek justice, peace, and love. This is what I proclaimed obstinately and obnoxiously over people who argued their case. I recently just sat in the car with my best friend after our church service. She has been a church-goer her whole life. She is someone who has watched me go in and out of churches most of my adult life, going once and picking it to pieces like a 5 year old at dinner. I consistently found something to be angry about. She told me that day, “I never wanted to argue at you about how church and community was right because I knew you had to come to that conclusion by yourself. I just knew I was always going to be at least your one friend who always went and I would let that speak.” I almost cried because her patience astounded me. She is a loyal friend because she doesn’t try to make me believe her, she’s just there for me, exemplifying what it’s like to live a life pursuing a God who loves all and waits for all.

So my point is, if I’m not around people who are different than me, how does anything change? If she didn’t stick around, I would have never been part of a group that has changed my life and pushed me forward into change and made me a better person. And if someone like me who is frustrated doesn’t stay, then how does the culture there ever change? Turn your frustration into finding solutions. Otherwise it’s for nothing.

We can’t afford not to change.

So I’m still going to sit next to someone who doesn’t agree with me politically. Do you know why? Because if I wait for them, like I know God waits for me, then maybe we can bridge the divide. My silence and cold shoulder only closes all doors between us. And you know what? This waiting doesn’t take any energy out of me, not nearly as much energy as it takes to be angry.

It doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for justice; it just means I am going to focus on the people who are in need, instead of fighting at the people who are not.

There are times under the sun for everything. Right now, it’s time to grow up, even when the adults or the peers in our lives haven’t, even when mom’s we barely know get on our Facebook to scold us. We live in a time that people our age spend nine hours a day on social media; we can talk all day about change, but we have to live it. And quite frankly, it’s time to disregard the thoughts of people who don’t believe in peace. It’s time to forgive, even when it’s difficult. In the end, a bitter heart is only hurting you.

Don’t burn bridges. Light a flame to lead people out of their shadows. That’s more important.

History does not dictate how we move forward. Be present. Move. There will always be people who live in the past; we get to be the minorities, whites, women, men, LGBTQA community, immigrants, Muslims who don’t. So let’s move the conversation forward, too. Embrace your ancestry, but ask yourselves-who are we? Who do we want to be? That’s the question we have left, let it propel us forward into truth.

We can’t say that “Love trumps hate” and then cut someone out of that, regardless of who they are, no matter how much they piss you off. You have to give them margin to change, because you would want the same. Redemption is a story and it’s rolling, but we’re going to miss it if we don’t wake up. That means pursuing love when it’s difficult and grace when you don’t want to in a culture that tells you to do whatever feels right for you. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really work because whatever feels right for you is often easy, and it means to hate people and stay bitter.

We can’t do anything about the way we grew up, but we can do something for the way the ones after us get to grow up. We are not our ancestors. We don’t have to be our history books. We don’t have to lick our wounds. We are not our Facebook statuses. We are all made of the same stuff, flesh and bone; please recognize that.

Can we work together? I’m so tired of not working together. I’m so tired of division.

The color of my skin does not erase the fact that we are called to forgive each other, just as much as the color of my words don’t erase the oppression you encounter because of your skin color.

We will never have perfect stability.

But stability is stone cold cement, founded by old ideas, like the walls of Jericho.

Like the walls of Trump’s hate.

We are built by truth, love, grace, courage. And we move.

The sound of your voices are bleeding through. Can you hear them?

 P.S. This article doesn’t give you an excuse to suddenly start bashing millennial “snowflakes” and call them lazy, entitled, and stupid. It also doesn’t give you an excuse to bash all white people, all people of color, or the church. If you are, you’ve done a tremendous job in missing the point. And please don’t read one paragraph of something and say you understand all of it.

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[wordsfromopen-wounds]

Was I sexually abused in childhood by adults? Checklist. Bold the ones that happened to you, italicise if you’re unsure. This is an extremely triggering list, please proceed only if you’re ready to go through this.

Psychological and verbal sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults looking at you sexually (even if they don’t vocalise it, you can usually sense that someone is looking at you with weird intentions)

adults vocalising their sexual views of you, calling you sexual names, commenting on you in a sexual way, objectifying you and acting like you exist only for their pleasure

adults calling you sexual slurs

adults commenting on your private parts in any way that makes you uncomfortable (pretty much any kind of talk that is not about giving you objective information, or medical assistance)

adults implying in any way they wish to have sex with you (“only if you were older”, calling you jailbait or anything in similar context)

adults blaming the shape of your body, or your appearance, for their sexual interest of you

adults claiming your body is “sinful” or “provocative” or “asking for it” and forcing you to cover it

adults saying any sexual thing they would like to do to you, or implying that any part of you exists for their pleasure

adults insulting your private parts and humiliating you

adults comparing you to pornography or other sexually provocative adults

adults exposing you to pornographic materials (even if you accidentally stumble on them, it was their responsibility to protect you from that)

adults forcing you to look at pornographic materials

adults sending you any kind of nude or sexual images or materials

adults telling you in detail about their experiences of sexual abuse and rape

adults humiliating you for development of your body and any changes you’re going thru

adults humiliating your bodily functions

adults watching you masturbate, or trying to expose you to others

an adult claiming that you enjoy sexual acts, or the idea of them, and humiliating you based on their claims

an adult claiming that you are filthy and perverted for “liking certain sexual acts”

adults managing to engage in conversation with you online and turning it sexual

adults asking you to send them images or videos of yourself via internet or phone, and coercing you into sexual conversations and behaviour

adults influencing you into touching yourself or into any other sexual act (online or in person)

adults making you feel “used” or “damaged” after they touched you or imposed the idea that you’re only good while pure and untouched

Parental sexual abuse (though anything on this list can be perpetuated by parent)

parents denying your privacy and demanding you have to be exposed to them at all times (when changing clothes, bathing, etc)

parents exposing you to, and failing to protect you from sexual predators

parents failing to provide you with proper medical care and protection when you need it

parent blaming you for sexual abuse, and siding with your abuser

parents accusing you of sexual behaviour and attacking you for it

parents imposing the myth of virginity on you and insisting non-virgins are impure or dirty

parents exposing you to false information on sex (you should bleed, or that it should hurt)

parents failing to provide you positive touch, making you easily accept touch from strangers

Sexual grooming done to children so they wouldn’t resist or even detect sexual abuse

adults introducing you to sexual experiences very early on so you wouldn’t feel there’s something un-normal or predatory about it as you grow up

adults grooming you into thinking that sexual advances from adults mean you’re special and mature, and it’s a good and normal thing

an adult bonding with you as if you were their age, trying to make you feel special and have you lower your guard around them, so you’d be more easy to sexually abuse later

adults inviting your flirtatious or sexual behaviour and approving of it, engaging in activities as if it’s okay if you started it or showed interest in them

adults taking your interest and affection towards them as an excuse that they’re allowed to do anything they wish with you, and making it seem like you asked for it

adults neglecting to give you any sort of attention except sexual, coercing you to choose between presenting yourself in sexual way, or being completely ignored and neglected and written off as “worthless”

an adult trying to make you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex, or don’t seem to want to engage in sexual activities at all, or seem hesitant about it

an adult implying that eventually you will have to have sex, no matter if you wanted or not

an adult teaching you how you should react to sex, trying to get you to ignore your instincts and boundaries and just accept whatever is happening to you

an adult telling you that “everyone does this” and making you feel like you’re behind on everyone if you refuse their sexual advances

an adult telling you about others they’ve sexually abused and trying to get you to normalise this type of behaviour and accept that it happens to everyone

an adult making decisions about your sexuality and telling you what you should enjoy sexually

an adult exposing you to grooming materials where group of people you can relate to are being used as sexual outlets or toys (used as sexual slaves or pets, dehumanised and reduced to toys)

an adult implying that you are or will be anyone’s “property” or “sexual outlet” and trying to “prepare you for it”

adults using their position of power (teachers, authority figures, coaches) to ease you into accepting their sexual advances

adults getting upset and making you feel bad if you don’t like the idea of sex or aren’t interested

adults praising you if you do accept their sexual advances and trying to ease you into accepting more

adults trying to get you addicted to pain and into craving sexual attention from them

adults calling their sexual abuse “love” and trying to frame it as “them loving you”

adults framing their sexual abuse as a “game” and you’re supposed to play along

adults doing anything to you that you didn’t know is sexual and abusive, and would absolutely resist had you known that it was abuse, and that it would leave heavy psychological consequences on you

Physical sexual abuse perpetuated by adults

adults using sexual abuse (spanking, any kind of hitting or humiliation of your private areas) as a punishment for misbehaviour

an adult trapping you inside of a room or closed space and acting physically close with you, making you feel uncomfortable and endangered while you know it would be hard to escape

adults slapping, hitting, groping or fondling your private areas

adults exposing your underwear or touching it (snapping your bra, lifting your skirt, pulling on your underwear)

TW extremely triggering sexual abuse and rape

an adult kissing your mouth

an adult groping or fondling you

an adult undressing you and looking at you with sexual desire

an adult coercing you into undressing yourself in front of them and ogling your body

an adult taking a picture of you naked and using you to create child pornography

an adult sharing a sexual picture of you on the internet or any other media

an adult filming you or making any kind of sexual recording of you

an adult coercing you to get into sexual poses for them (even professionally, it’s still abuse)

an adult staring at your genitals or asking you to expose yourself to them

an adult exposing their genitals in front of you

an adult touching themselves in front of you

an adult having you touch them sexually

an adult having you tell them that you want to be touched in your private areas

an adult having you tell them to do sexual things to you (even if you say it by your own will, they are responsible for stopping you and letting you know it’s inappropriate, they have no right to sexually engage with you)

an adult sneaking into your bed and touching you sexually

an adults speaking to you as if you’re their sexual partner

an adult having you touch themselves in front of them

an adult having sexual intercourse with you (it doesn’t matter if they do it gently or if you initiated it or if you didn’t resist, it’s rape, children cannot consent to sex)

an adult engaging in oral, anal, or any kind of sex with you, or making you interact with any object sexually

an adult inflicting any kind of pain or injury on your genitals

an adult coercing you to have sexual relations with another adult or child

an adult harming you sexually

an adult praising you for enduring their sexual abuse and rape, trying to frame it as if you’ve done a good thing by staying silent or not resisting

an adult having you say that you wanted it

an adult saying that you provoked them into sexually abusing you

an adult calling their sexual behaviour “a secret” you’re not allowed to tell anyone

an adult threatening to hurt you, your family, or someone you love if you expose their sexual behaviour

an adult threatening to expose what they’ve done to you in order to humiliate you and cast shadow on your name

an adult blackmailing you with sexual materials they’ve made of you

 *it’s impossible for children to stop or resist sexual abuse, because if an adult is willing to rape a child, that adult is willing to kill a child as well, child’s instincts stop them from resisting in hope their life will be spared

*children are never responsible for sexual abuse being inflicted on them, not if they ask for it, not if they initiate it, adults are responsible for protecting children for abuse, and if they use anything as an excuse to gain pleasure from molesting a child, they’re monsters

*if any of this is done to you by another child, it is still abuse, it still causes harm to you, and you still suffer consequences of it, your body is still being violated weather the perpetuators knows what they’re doing or not

*all of these are abusive even when you’re an adult, after turning 18 you’re not magically protected from grooming or any kind of abuse, and a lot of people can still take advantage of you sexually and harm you, nobody should be grooming or objectifying you or touching you without your consent at any stage in your life

*if your body reacts with arousal and lubrication to sexual abuse, it’s not a sign of you enjoying or liking it, your body is doing it for self protection, it would harm you much worse to be raped or abused without lubrication, same with orgasms, not a sign of pleasure, but desperation for it to be over

if you can bold 3 or more of these, you’ve been thru sexual abuse as a child.