#peridot is canonically aromantic so this is how I ship them nowadays

[jammatown919]

Only Us

Peridot knew she was being unfair.

She'd been avoiding Lapis for a week now, despite the fact that her friend had done nothing wrong, but she didn't know how else to go about her current situation. She couldn't even look at Lapis without something in her chest doing flips, and while that wasn't new by any means, lately she hadn't been able to stop thinking about everything she was supposed to be doing in response.

These feelings were normal; it was normal to find a person and adore them more than life itself, to love them so much it hurt, but it was also normal to do certain things with that person. To kiss them, fuse with them, marry them, and Peridot didn't want any of it.

She knew it made people happy. Garnet, Steven and Connie, the Heaven and Earth Beetles; they were all so happy with the way their relationships worked. So why was she so certain it wouldn't do that for her? She was absolutely desperate to tell Lapis exactly how much she loved her, so why was she so opposed to everything that came next? How could she burden her dearest friend with these feelings and then deny her the relationship she should be able to give her? It wouldn't be fair.

None of this was fair. All she wanted was to be at Lapis's side, and instead Peridot was reduced to hiding on the roof of their home to avoid having to look her in the eye. She didn't even know anymore how long she'd been up here. A few hours at least, and she didn't think she'd be ready to get down any time soon, even though Lapis would probably be worried.

It was nice to have someone who worried. Peridot wasn't sure she deserved that anymore.

The sound of familiar wings snapped her out of her thoughts, and by the time Peridot sat up to look, Lapis was already touching down in front of her.

She looked so upset, like Cat Steven that one time Peridot had stepped on her tail. Lapis should never have to look like that. Peridot was supposed to clobber anyone who made her look like that. Did that mean she had to clobber herself now?

"Peridot," Lapis murmured, low and hurt and a little desperate. "Why are you mad at me?"

"Wh- I'm not!" Peridot said hastily.

"But you've hardly talked to me all week!" Lapis insisted, adding another layer to the guilt growing inside Peridot's chest. "If you're not mad, why are you avoiding me?"

"It's not you, I just-" Peridot let out a heavy sigh and leaned back against the slanted tiles. "It's complicated."

With a gentle patter of footsteps, Lapis came to sit beside her.

"I do complicated," she offered kindly. "Please, just talk to me. I miss you."

Peridot was silent for several beats, trying to think of the right thing to say. But there was no right thing. There was nothing at all except the plain, honest truth.

"I love you," she said, half-expecting the other gem to fly off right then.

"I... love you too?" Lapis replied instead.

For a minute, the two of them just stared at each other, each waiting for the other to say something to help them both make sense of the situation, until Lapis finally broke the silence.

"Do you... want to kiss?"

"No!" Peridot jolted upright, startling Lapis. "That's the problem! I love you, but I don't want to kiss you, or be a fusion, or get married. I know it's selfish, but-"

"No, it's not," Lapis interrupted firmly.

"Wh-" Peridot momentarily fumbled for a response, utterly baffled as to how Lapis could possibly mean that. "Huh?"

"Peridot, that's not selfish," Lapis insisted. She leaned over to grasp Peridot's shoulders, gazing at her very seriously. "It's okay to not want to do that stuff. You don't owe me anything, and I would never want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable."

"But... you wanted to kiss."

"Only because I thought you wanted to," Lapis replied. "Honestly, I could take it or leave it. That's not what's important to me. You are."

"Really?" Warm tears gathered in the corners of Peridot's eyes, and Lapis's hands quickly drifted to her face to brush them away.

"Of course," she murmured. "Now, can I ask what you do want?"

"You," Peridot whimpered. "I want to keep living together, and to raise more gourds with you, and hug you, and be there for you when you're said, and have you there when I'm sad, and be able to tell you how I feel about you without being afraid of all the other stuff. I just want to be here with you. All the time. Forever."

"I want that too." Lapis leaned in close, pressing her forehead against Peridot's. "It doesn't matter if you're not into all the romance stuff. We're still partners, and I still love you."

"But you see how happy Steven and Connie are, now that they're dating. Are you really okay with not getting to do what they do?"

"We don't need to be like Steven and Connie," Lapis replied. "We just need to be us. What we have is perfect."

With a relieved sigh, Peridot threw her arms around Lapis and all but collapsed into her. In that moment, pressed against the warm, comforting presence that was her most cherished companion, she couldn't help but agree.

This really was perfect.