#perfectedsoldier

[n7soldiered]

lightheaded from the thin, cold air of extraordinary heights, he anchors himself to a tremulous breath, before he scrambles forward in a rush, kaidan grabbing hold of his side just as the world drops out of focus — then narrows into sharp clarity. 

he shouts against a stab of frigid air filling his lungs,  ❝here, take my hand!❞           ❝... and then?❞  ❝and then—❞  he breaks off, stomach dropping as he stumbles backward, the normandy swerving abruptly to the left.

a raw wind picks up again, twisting into unpredictable swirls that jostle their bodies and force them to angle against another violent gust.  the commander knows it’s only a matter of time, now, as they can barely compensate against this invisible intensity.

no no no.    it whips his face, fills his mind, howls in his ears until he’s all but deaf to the thunderous roar, subduing the sounds of chaos around him.  john reaches out for the last time, an unspoken plea flickering like a bolt of lightning in storm-blue eyes.  

the sharp clap of their gauntlets colliding banishes fear at once.                                                             ❝AND THEN YOU LIVE.❞

               //  14  /   ??

for the incredible @perfectedsoldier and their muse, wolf, the adorable 3 yr old ( ? ).         much to my total bewilderment, we’ve been sharing headcanons, verse/scene + otp concepts, and losing our general shit over ME for over a month.  how has it been over a month since you and i began talking again??  wow!  and i have no idea how you overlook my constant typos and my generally awkward nature, but i’m not complaining.  in fact, i’m so very thankful.  thank you for filling my days with hilarious conversations & heart-wrenching angst, and i’m stroked that you joined the rpc!  i hope we get to write & goof off as much as possible. ♥

[integreti]

Wolf leaned forward, lips parted in what he thought passed as a friendly grin though it looked more predatory than friendly. "The way you reave your enemies and leave them screaming in agony is beautiful; teach me how to do that!"

kaidan  gaped  at  the  man  for  all  of  the  ten  agonizing  seconds  it  took  for  him  to  reel  in  his  utter  shock.   was  wolf — complimenting  him?   albeit  belatedly,  he  recoiled—and  damned  near  fell  out  of  his  seat  in  his  haste  to  widen  the  distance  between  their  faces.

❝i — what?❞   and  kaidan  had  to  wonder  if  what  he  just  said  sounded  more  like  an  unintelligible  bark  than  a  question…  ❝you  want  me  to  teach  you  how  to  reave  someone?❞

now,  if  this  wasn’t  an  interesting  development.   although  kaidan  did  not  doubt  wolf’s  capabilities,  nor  did  he  doubt  that  this  wasn’t  merely  wolf’s  candid  desire  to  learn  something  new,  kaidan  simply  didn’t  understand  why  wolf  hadn’t  asked  shepard  first.   or  liara,  for  that  matter.

hell,  even  javik  could  show  wolf  a  thing  or  two ;  being  a  pure-blood  prothean  and  all,  he  had  no  worries  about  overtaxing  himself  after  just  a  few  hours  of  strenuous  training,  and  he  sure  as  hell  didn’t  have  to  worry  about  later  feeling  a  hunger  so  ravenous,  only  eating  everything  in  the  mess  could  possibly  sate  it.

❝why  haven’t  you  asked  shepard?❞

@perfectedsoldier​

[integreti]

                     STATUS REPORT  :: wolf

The force of the sudden declaration had him flinching a moment, abruptly broken from his pensive thoughts about being nothing but a weapon. A weapon that Rasa had used and then discarded like trash.

He turns his attention fully back on the Major, wary for the resumption of biotics— and an attack. The look on the marine’s face however, was… strained… somehow. Truthfully, he was feeling strained himself. What was the confusing standard the man wanted him to be? Not a threat was obvious, but everything else? Free? What did he even mean? He was practically on house (ship) arrest lest he be snatched up the moment he stepped off— at least, according to the original. He felt that the Commander had been exaggerating to keep him in the ship. On top of that, he couldn’t even walk around said ship without the crew watching him with a hand hovering over their sidearm.

A point of pain started throbbing in his temple at the Major’s next confusing question. “I— what? Blasto? That… hanar… thing?” The only reason he knew that much was because there were advertisements everywhere for it. He bristled slightly, his expression caustic as he asked, “What— what does that have to do with anything?” His head was going to explode with this confusing conversation. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut and let the Major continue on his merry way at watching the dangerous weapon.

a  few  moments  stretched  into  a  full  minute  before  kaidan  finally  lifted  his  head  and  met  the  clone’s  gaze  dead  on.   the  conflict  swimming  in  those  bright  blue  eyes  sent  him  straight  back  to  horizon,  when  kaidan  had  seen,  for  the  first  time,  his  commander  appearing  genuinely  perturbed,  torn  between  one  thing  and  another.   vulnerable  and  lonely.   ... and  within  that  short  interlude,  all  the  helpless  frustration  drained  out  of  kaidan,  leaving  nothing  but  the  faint  embers  of  an  anger  he  couldn’t  bring  himself  to  reignite.   this  was … emotionally  exhausting—and  more  so  than  kaidan  had  initially  anticipated.

what  had  he  been  thinking,  coming  here  with  nothing  but  this  obscure  shred  of  hope,  cupped  in  both  his  hands,  its  existence  both  fragile  and  fleeting.   good  intentions  or  not,  kaidan  had  known  from  the  outset  that  this  conversation  would  likely  go  nowhere,  knew  this  wouldn’t  be  easy  for  either  of  them,  and  yet         lifting  his  shoulders  up  in  a  shrug,  kaidan  sighed  quietly,  because,  well—damn  it  all  to  hell,  he  wasn’t  quite  sure  what  ‘blasto’  had  to  do  with  this,  either.

❝this … this  might  sound  stupid  as  hell,  but  hear  me  out.❞   both  hands  hovered  at  his  sides,  aiming  to  convey  his  coöperation  in  full.   ❝once  shepard  clears  you,  i  know  he’s  going  to  give  you  a  choice  to  stay  here—or  to  go.   nobody  aboard  the  normandy  is  going  to  make  you  stay  and  fight  the  reapers.   you’re – you’re  not  a  weapon  to  us,  you’re  a  human  being.   and,  you  said  it  yourself,  you  don’t  know  much  else  beyond  war,  so,  i – i  want …❞   huffing  at  his  own  apprehension,  kaidan  gathered  his  resolve,  then  drove  his  point  home.   ❝i  want  to  show  what  else  there  is  to  life.   we  might  not  have  all  the  time  in  world  right  now,  but  i  don’t  mind  making  time.   and  maybe – maybe  this  way,  you’ll  find  a  reason  to  fight.   one  that’s ... all  your  own.❞

[n7soldiered]

[11:58 PM] Riizunqo: a thought, remember samaras recruitment mission with all that red sand shep, new biotic, gets exposed. imagine him bouncing all around the normandy for hours like hes on crack or overdosed on coffee [12:10 AM] solo: i kinda wonder how far the drug goes.  i know it enhances biotic capabilities, gives regular people short-term powers, but what else?  euphoria, ok, but that's a given, because it's a stimulant             brain:  make it angsty what if there are euphoric/hallucinogenic effects that made a very, very depressed and lonely me2 john sh/epard feel happy again, even if only for a little while, because he got to daydream about a time before horizon, before his death, before ashley's death, before everything went to utter shit

i think im actually going to throttle my brain [12:11 AM] Riizunqo: ..... VIN [12:11 AM] Riizunqo: WHY [12:12 AM] solo: DLKFJSLKJSD IM SORRY IM SLEEP DEPRIVED [12:12 AM] solo: I DO THIS WHEN I GET HEADACHES TOO [12:12 AM] Riizunqo: now im like did john occasionally take red sand when he missed kaidan so bad he couldn't stand it... [12:41 AM] solo: rubs hands together    my shep didn't have an addiction to red sand, per se;  back when he was a young teen and with the reds, he only took tiny doses whenever he didn't have enough money for food.  to him, it was better than nothing—and when it kicks in, you don't feel the pain of hunger.  the effects would last a while.  usually, by the time he found another odd job / client / whatever the reds wanted him to do next, the euphoric effects would've only just begun to fade.  so, john never really had the chance to form an addiction, simply familiarized himself with the effects and what it was capable of if an individual took more.

i also think he never formed a legit need for it because he’s someone who keeps marching forward, if that makes sense.  there’s always something he's working towards, and drugs are ... well, to john, the same as becoming a drunkard / constantly drinking?  in other words, a big waste of time, money, and who knows what other repercussions there are when operating in such a state of inebriation.  overall, that would impede his progress—and he isn't one to allow for that.  it’s his nature to soldier on.

so, aside from a bit of hunger pain, john’s never had any real reason to take red sand, much less continuously.  didn't have a reason to do other hard drugs, either.  didn't even have a reason to get mindlessly drunk.  back then, he had his whole future ahead of him.  

however, in me2?  there's a high probability he isn't even going to have a future;  he knows what his goal is.  he knows what the end-game is.  and john’s also pretty fucking sure he isn't going to survive it. 

not only did he die and lose 2 yrs of his life, everyone he's ever known and loved has moved on since his death.  heck, even his father-figure, anderson, barely gives him the time of day when he goes to see him.  yeah, he's a councilor now, but, still... ouch.

oh, and adding to all this, a super advanced A.I had straight-up told him that the cycle has already begun, they’re all gonna die, and that this shit’s inevitable.

i mean, of course, he still believes they have a fighting chance.  but he's just one soldier;  he's expendable.  and if he dies in this suicide mission, there are plenty of other capable soldiers ready to take the place of 'commander sh/epard'.

pretty much everything leading up to this point in time has been utter shit for john.  the man even lost the one person who could’ve made things feel even slightly okay — so, yeahhh.  i can see it.  during that time of extreme emotional fragility, john would want to make at least a few good memories before meeting his end for the last time.  and if they're just fake, red sand-induced hallucinations — well.   that'd just have to do.

[integreti]

He can feel it. A prickle on his skin, a feeling of being prey. The Major was looking at him again. Watching. "What do you /want/?" he bites out, aggrieved. Bad enough he was practically a /pet project/ for the Commander, he hated the crew poking at him, even with just their eyes. Sometimes, he wished he'd just let go, or that the Commander had thrown him in jail with Rasa.

prompted  by  the  question,  the  major’s  gaze  shifts  to  shuttered  and  wary,  his  lips  parting  for  words  that  do  not  come.    joh  —  no,  his  mind  intervenes,  and  kaidan  almost  laughs  in  abrupt  frustration,  an  inexplicable  knot  of  emotion  drawing  up  tight  and  hard  in  his  throat.

this  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing — shepard’s  clothing — waits  quietly  for  an  answer,  but  alenko  knows  better  than  to  mistake  his  silence  for  patience.    regardless  of  what  he  says,  this  wolf  will  counter  his  response  with  nothing  but  displeasure,  as  that  is  the  only  emotion  he’s  shown  thus  far.    brainwashed  by  brooks  —  rasa,  kaidan  corrects,  though  not  entirely  certain,  this  clone  has  had  no  choice  but  to  follow  orders.   he’s  hardly  the  one  to  blame …  despite  her  arrest  five  days  ago,  the  alliance  has  yet  to  unearth  much  information …  something  tells  kaidan  that  the  investigation  will  require  more  resources  than  she’s  worth.

alenko  feels  again  the  sharp  twinge  in  his  chest,  but  this  time,  he’s  prepared  for  the  ache  that  shoots  down  his  forearms  and  converges  at  the  center  of  his  palms.    he  doesn’t  bat  an  eyelash,  however,  even  as  both  of  his  hands  begin  to  shake  with  the  astonishing  desire  to  reach  out  to  him  —  to  touch  him.    comfort  him.

what  can  he  say  to  make  it  better?   what  he  can  he  do?   kaidan  doesn’t  know.   he  has  nothing  to  say,  and  nothing  he  wants,  either.

for  all  that,  the  major  simply  shrugs,  his  amber  eyes  flicking  down  to  his  trembling  hands  as  he  mutters,   ❝sorry.❞

@perfectedsoldier​​

[n7soldiered]

RULES : TAG FOLLOWERS YOU WANT TO KNOW BETTER  ! TAGGED BY : @theconviict  ( thank you !! ) TAGGING :  @perfectedsoldier @droidhunt @notpetals @vibraea @bluesunsdusk @denieddeath @corvusroyal @handsigned @herheal @darkept @prettyguard @oneuglyturian @strcngered @isooto @starbreathed @bloodiedbiotic  &  whoever else who wants to do this !

NAME:  vincent, vince, vin. STAR SIGN:  face of a man, dick of a horse?  sagittarius. HEIGHT:  5′7″, barefoot. YOUR MIDDLE NAME:  m. PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE.  FIRST 6 SONGS: uh, well, i don’t use spotify so like... i’ll just shuffle my songs lol - borns - past lives - a-ha - take on me  - jimmy eat world - the middle - matchbox twenty - unwell - jack's mannequin - the mixed tape EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?  a poem, yes.  it was very unexpected. THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR:  don’t think i’ve ever??  YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH:  i don’t get celeb crushes.  makes me very uncomfortable, like 10/10 uncomfortable—because i usually adopt the actor’s character as a muse. WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE, SOUND YOU LOVE:  the squeak of teeth when they scrape together/nails against a chalkboard.  rain against a car windshield.  DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS:  sure.  HOW ABOUT ALIENS:  i don’t doubt the possibility. DO YOU DRIVE:  yes, and i enjoy driving. IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED:  no, but i’ve been in a car accident, yes. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?  i... i’ll admit, i haven't read an actual book since maybe 2013?  oof.  this’s probably why my vocabulary sucks. DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE:  no, not at all.  WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW:   i ... ಠ ಠ  ‘m not sure?  i have a good feeling it’s the first b/laderunner ( 1982 ).  i haven’t actually gone to a theater since like.  2016 rip WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD:  tied between a dog attack when i still lived in taiwan that really messed up my right leg—annnd breaking a couple of fingers in a fight. DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW:  mmm.  mass e/ffect, st/ar wars.  sh/epard, h/an solo.  the usual.  my obsessions rarely sway as i’m quite loyal to fandoms.  oh, and i’m rediscovering b/leach again—so, there’s that, too? DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG:  depends on if i knew them well beforehand.  i’m never openly hostile or bitter, that’s just not my style, but i’ll be extremely wary of them.  trust takes time to earn back, if ever. IN A RELATIONSHIP:  —with food?  why yes, absolutely.  me and food have been getting along since day 1.  i think we’re perfect for each other.  ... except i almost always forget to eat lol

[n7soldiered]

IT’S HARDER THAN YOU THINK. NOT USING GOOGLE. EVERY ANSWER MUST START WITH THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR MUSE’S NAME.

NAME:  john. ANIMAL:  jellyfish. BOY’S NAME:  jack. GIRL’S NAME:  jane. COLOR:  ...... WTF.   jade...green? MOVIE:  jurassic park. SOMETHING YOU WEAR:  jumpsuit. DRINK:  juice. FOOD:  this might be cheating, but one of my favorite things to eat is jellyfish ... okay, fine, jello. SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM:  jacuzzi. PLACE:  japan. REASON FOR BEING LATE:  ....jaywalking.

TAGGED BY:  @isooto  ( thanks beeb! )

TAGGING:  @perfectedsoldier  @vibraea  @horizonboundtrainer & anyone else who wants to do this! 

[n7soldiered]

@perfectedsoldier​ asked:

Wolf rolls his eyes as he holds up his datapad with an email. "Look at this. Someone's made an offer to me to play you in a vid..." He scoffs before his expression turns surprised then intrigued. "Wow. That's... a lot of zeroes..."

slowly lowering the datapad from his general line of sight, john quirks a brow at his little ( ? ) brother ( ?? )  twin???  ))) and resists the near uncontrollable urge to tease.  ❝doing vids for a living doesn’t seem like you... i think you might hate the publicity.  maybe, you should try modeling.❞   ... does this count as narcissism or—?