#perfect amount of unsettling and heartwarming

[an-annyeoing-writer]

ahh im happy you felt the love with my message!!! honestly, you've made many of my days infinitely better because i get to read your works and get consumed by these concepts you come up with. so you really deserve all the love and recognition, i can't even explain how much joy you've given me whenever i go back to re read derision 💕 there's something about it that tickles a part of my brain that nothing else has.. i mean come on bh going through hell and naive reader is involved in his suffering but has a connection with him and genuinely wanting to help, then the tables turn and bh gets to put reader through hell and suddenly acts cold, wanting to inflict suffering on her as his revenge BUT STILL CARING ABT HERRRRR DSGJNLK why is that so hot and alluring HELPP it's dark and mysterious and obsessive but heartwarming and sweet in a twisted sick way and it's perfect and i love it, this ask doesn't even come close to expressing my love for it either but just know derision is my favorite plot ever i swear. you seriously popped off when you came up with that concept. and yes i have read (and loveee) sweet lies and unhealthy obsession! you're the master of these dark unsettling concepts dear god o_o also bh is somehow so perfect for dark plots.. it's his trojan horse outward aegyo but inner cool mature manliness sweet boy charm.. ooohhh ill be excited for that upcoming lucky one insp fic too omg!!!!???! i am SEATED. the lucky one vibe is really just too good i love it. and ily more!!!!!

Jesus 🥺 I already said it before but it means SO MUCH to hear these things, you're spoiling me for real  😭😭 I just hope you're always happy and safe and all because you're one treasure of a human being 🥺

You're so damn right about Baekhyun though, the Monster MV was literally the reason I got into KPOP to begin with, he did catch me with that vibe, he's VERY perfect for that. He's just a master of facial expressions that send shivers down your spine... I mean,

He looks like a literal alien here. Like just, both scary and somewhat soft/innocent at once???? That's just so surreal. I am DEVOURING this concept.

He can be so goddamn ominous too. Like is he even a real person???????? IDK???????????????????????????

But YASSS it won't be anytime soon since I want to finish Bloodline first before starting something more serious (and those series will be more lengthy for sure), but I'm pretty excited as well. And I mean... now that we started talking about it, I'm going to be definitely writing many more ominous Baekhyuns. I MUST.

Also below is a random snippet without a context of Demon!Baekhyun that I started writing some time ago just because I thought you might like it.

He lifted his hand and carefully rested the edge of the knife at your neck; no pressure needed for the slight prickle of pain to appear and your breath to hitch. You felt your heartbeat quicken, slowly but surely bringing your other senses alive as well – some vibrating sounds in the background, the smell of fire, dark background and soft crystal-looking light coming from above your head. Where the hell were you….? “D… don’t” you choked out with difficulty, your voice hoarse and strangled; something seemed to be stuck in your throat and you started coughing. The tension of the knife on your neck didn’t cease, but neither did it strengthen, held right at the edge of causing the littlest amount of pain without damaging the skin, as though to remind you it’s still there. “Why not?” His voice was nicer than you expected, youthful and not at all expressionless, oozing with childlike innocence. “You are dead already, love. I just want to have a feast” he informed with a pinch of arrogance. “I’m not dead” you snarled. “Hardly” he scoffed in response. The knife’s edge trailed down your neck, stopping right above your sternum and pressing into the soft issue. You coughed again and gagged on whatever was stuck in your throat. “In fact, I am the only thing keeping you from burning alive. That would not be pleasant at all, love. Don’t worry, I will be gentle with you. Gentler than the flames would be.”

[life-rewritten]

True Beauty; Problematic Bullies and Strained Friendships

Can I just say that these two episodes of true beauty have left me again with so much anger and disappointment? I've just spent the last 30 minutes sighing and shaking my head and cursing some of these stupid, frustrating characters. Now it's not even Soojin I'm cursing surprisingly, I have a different bone to pick with her, and a different perspective, but it's everyone in that stupid school, society, just everyone who switched at the end of episode 12. Now I did see it coming, but the fact that it's the same video of Kyung being treated like an animal that is what got them to switch without any morals or understanding, or pity, is so disgusting to me. I'm left cursing all the people who were Kyung's friend, who supported her and then just left her by her self to deal with this because of pettiness and anger that she lied to them. Make it make sense. The characters in this show sometimes act like one-dimensional puppets just doing whatever is the status quo, robotically seeing someone as of less worth because of their looks, feeling cheated for no reason (like she's not even friends with some of these people) because someone 'ugly' is hiding behind makeup, like what? It doesn't add up. Anyway apart from the focus on bullying which I will be breaking down more, I'm glad to see the tag and social media is less focused on the love triangle and more understanding about Suho now, I mean why not, he's a good boyfriend, but what I actually wanted to praise was the depiction of friendship with Suho, Seyeon and Seojun, and Suho and Seojun's journey in reuniting their bond again. It made me cry a few times, and it was very heartwarming. But it's just depleting my energy, even more, when I have to contrast it with Soojin's downfall. Sigh what a depressing reveal as a villain. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts so let's get to it.

THE PROBLEM WITH BULLYING

What I like about True Beauty is that it does these interesting foreshadows/mirroring to certain situations that the audience will soon see show up. In episode 11, Suho is broken down and haunted by the reveal of what happened to his best friend however the show fleshes out and gives us more information, and depth to Seyeon as a character and the intense friendship between the three boys. At first, I wondered where this flashback would lead us to; however, I started to notice the similarities, the foreboding trajectory of Kyung's storyline in episode 11/12 to Seyeon's own betrayal and downfall.

Seyeon's story of how he became framed by his bullies once they discovered he was famous is so startling and similar to how JK's ruin takes place. She got immensely known and was put in the spotlight, and then because of a bully and someone she calls a friend; she was also framed differently as being someone who she isn't. The same reasons why Seyeon was attacked was because he lied about who he was, he had a lot of people who loved and admired him, and his reveal betrayed them, he was set up because of coldness, callousness and manipulation. This is the same with Kyung by the end of episode 12.

Let's talk about how True Beauty shows bullying as a focus; We have different characters that are connected, affected and pushed to the brink because of bullying. We also have the bullies some surprising; some just disgusting and frustrating, but also society plays a role in this bullying as well. Let's look at the characters:

Seyeon: Framed and Misunderstood 

First of all, it's heartbreaking to know more about what happened to Seyeon in the past, and it's even painful to know his story ended. From what I'm getting from his life story, Seyeon was quiet, shy, introverted but I think he also was a bully victim. He changed his name to Seyeon when he moved and found Suho and Seojun, and because of them, he learnt to fall more in love with his passion; music. (This is so eerily similar to Kyung changing her past, also finding her own passion and happiness which is makeup). Now he felt alone all his life before this because he was getting bullied and finally he got his debut as a star, and he managed to become more confident, successful and happy.

The problem is his bullies weren't letting go (like the frustrating harpies of Park Se Mi), they decided to make his life hell, so they posted a rumour, that Seyeon wasn't who he said he was (which might be true, he changed his identity probably to run away from the past) but they also made up more about him, they framed him instead as the bullies, and they twisted his story. Because of their actions, and Seoyeon feeling like his past was brought back, when he ran to Suho to ask for help, he felt like Suho believed the news and broke down in despair by himself in anxiety, probably PTSD and depression and he took his life.

Now let's pause there for a minute because we now know how this affected Suho significantly, but this is how True Beauty emphasises the amount of pain, suffering and anxiety Kyung ends up in, in episode 12. The same heartbreak, the same fear, the same worries, and the same comments and people dragging her down because of her looks. Now with Seyeon, as much as I hate cancelling nature, and social media bullying, the reveal that he was a bully, despite it not being real, I can understand some of the reactions people would have against him because as we're seeing, bullies in Korean Culture aren't cute, they're worse than other bullies, they drive people to take their lives with the extent of physical, emotional and psychological harm they inflict on someone. People thinking Seyeon was one of those people is quite shocking and should be called out; however compare this to Kyung's own situation.

Whilst Seyeon was being attacked for a valid reason from society, Kyung was being attacked for being ugly. Like compare causing harm to people by psychologically and emotionally abusing them to not having the perfect face structure, having acne because you were born that way, like compare that to what Seyeon was being blamed for. Does that make sense? And the frustrating thing about it is Kyung has a right to hide if she wants to under makeup, it's not like people have really given her a choice to avoid taking things this way. The upsetting thing about this is it's not just a picture of Kyung's face that is causing this uproar of feeling betrayed. It's not a picture where she seems happy and safe, and her life is unbothered by these things she has to hide. But it's a video of her being treated as less than a human, a video where she is being taunted and spoken to vilely, a video where she's having trash tossed on her, and she's breaking down psychologically and emotionally. A video where she's genuinely being denounced for being born.

It's unsettling. And it's ironic because Seyeon was being attacked and talked about by righteous teens about bullying and being woke about people who do this, but really society just stands by idly and judge someone because they're ugly. Being ugly is apparently enough reason for why bullying is okay, it's enough because she apparently shouldn't be allowed to live her life how she wants, it's so sick, they'd throw pitchforks at Seyeon for being the bully of people but also turn a blind eye and join in with bullying a girl because she doesn't fit their natural standards of beauty? It's sick.  It's unsettling, and it calls out the hypocrisy of people, people who just want to see people lower than them suffer. What gives them the right to speak about Kyung this way? What makes them superior to her? Because they're pretty? Because they don't have acne? Like what is the problem? Why are they so butthurt by her hiding her face with makeup and looking good. I just don't understand it. I'm very emotional about this as you can tell, so I'm going to have to move on, I just wanted the parallel of Seyeon and Kyung's storyline to be noticed.

Kyung; Ignored and Betrayed

Let's focus on Kyung in episode 11/12. She goes through her normal anxiety and worries, and at first, she doesn't communicate her fears to Suho. But I have to say that Kyung was starting to realise that she couldn't be paralysed by her PTSD. Actually, she bravely goes to Soojin to confess about Suho which I was so proud of her for, but she also goes back to save Hyemi from her bullies despite her anxiety and worry she'll get found out. Her concern was valid, stopping Semi was going to put a target on her back, and also Hyemi betrayed her before, so she has every right to feel some kind of way towards her. However, despite that, Kyung stood up for someone else in her position again. And it's something that I love about her, and I think she'll probably find her dream job doing, later on, we've seen her do this with Gowoon and help her come of her anxiety and depression and put makeup on her to get confidence and sing in front of people.

We saw her protect Hyemi this episode; I'm sure that's what she'll do in the future is help girls like her who feel the same broken, fear, and pain at how they were born. She'll be someone who stands up and helps them regain their confidence like Selena did for her. It's really inspiring and wonderful to see her find that passion slowly and make her dreams come true in that way. Kyung helping Hyemi shows her character, and she could have been like these slimy people and try and get revenge or be annoyed at her forever, but she just walks away and lets her be and prevents her from ending up in the same state she was in, in episode 1.  The sad, painful truth is Kyung has been proven right, why she was so afraid to trust people, to tell people about who she really was, why she struggled with trusting Suho with the information, people are fickle, and they switch based on shallow things, like appearance, popularity, money etc. Kyung's friends proved to her that she was right to not trust them with it, even Soojin who was meant to be her helping hand sat there (I mean she's the person who caused it) but she sat there and watched Kyung deal with her break down. It's just so messed up.

Hyemi; Forced and Tormented

Speaking of Hyemi, Hyemi also showed the same reasons for why Kyung has been so scared and worried about everything; these bullies are so weird, they make it their life goal to keep someone as their victim under this messed up of form of slavery and ownership. Hyemi ran away after feeling guilty of what happened to Kyung, she reported Semi and her harpies and tried to restart her life. Like Kyung, however, she got caught immediately, and we see what would have happened if Kyung hadn't leaned in heavily to makeup at the start. She won't be able even to walk the streets without those bullies finding her and getting her back under their abuse. And it's so disgusting. Semi is so worrying as a person; sometimes I feel like she deserves jail for all the pain she causes to people. She takes pleasure in breaking people down because she's afraid they'd take away her spotlight? I don't really understand this type of need for power, but it's disgusting. As much as Hyemi disappointed me in episode 1, she has no choice like Kyung but to betray her friend because it's soul-crushing the type of bullying, her and Kyung go through because of these girls. She has no choice in the matter because even when she tries to do good, they find her and they make her life even more hellish, and because she's 'ugly' as people keep saying, no one helps her, like with Kyung. They sit by and watch and say she deserves it. And the one person who does help every time has also been transformed because of her own bullying situation. And it's again heartbreaking.

Soojin; Regressed and Transformed

So remember how I said that Soojin is not who I'm cursing by the end of this episode. I'm so angry and upset at her; I was also disappointed with the writing because it's basic and I detest girl hate. Soojin's character has now been ruined officially; there's no way she can come back from her actions this episode. She's become essentially like Semi, and it's painful to watch. First of all, she tried to pretend things were okay in episode 11, she did try, but her feelings and her reliance on Suho was more critical, and as much as I hate her, I can understand her desperation.

Suho is the only person who knows and can help her with her own bullying situation. She's being even more bullied harshly by her own father, she's also being psychologically, emotionally and physically tormented and she can't escape this person. It's haunting. And it's heartbreaking because she doesn't truly have friends (apart from Kyung) because she's always the one people rely on (like Suho), she's put in this state of always being the person who defends, and fights, and protects and does what's right. Her life is seen as privileged, and great, and wealthy, and she has everything even the looks that Kyung desperately suffers because of. She's always had to rely on her strength and her self and her brains, but when she's broken and exhausted and needs someone to run to; Suho was that person, and now Kyung was making Suho not be able to be that person.

Her mindset is ruined because she can't find anyone else to turn to, her father is just as influential as Suho's father and the school won't protect her from him and need her good grades to stay with the reputation they seek, no adult can defeat her father, and so she's stuck. It's so worrying, watching her run into her room and she couldn't escape him because he was pounding on the door determined to enter and hit her more. And her mother is spineless and lets it happen, so Soojin is the most broken character and the most alone out of everyone in the show. Kyung is going through a lot of trauma, and her situation is so messed up but Kyung at the end of the day has Suho, she has Seojun as well, though she doesn't know the extent, she has her family even though her mum is not the best, she has her dad, her sister etc. Soojin has no one to run to. Kyung can't do anything to help her with the situation, and Kyung is taking away the one thing that probably could help her in her opinion.

Everyone is quick to hate and judge Soojin but her character arc makes sense because at the end of the day there is really no other place to run to, to avoid regressing into self-harm (washing her hands till they bleed and crack) but to put that pain on others, to feel resentment, jealousy, anger and desperation to get rid of an obstacle. Sadly, she had to endure this torment and become a shell of her self because she's now going to take it too far and it won't be forgivable if she keeps on making Kyung feel like she shouldn't be alive. It won't be right no matter what. And we see how far she can go by her actions in episode 12. She may be the typical second lead female we wanted her not to be, but she's written well, and her trajectory makes sense. I just hope she reforms before it's too late.

So bullying is a big deal in True Beauty, it's what's really causing all our characters to spiral into the trauma and pain they are in. Suho and Seojun may not be bullied, but they're co-products of it, by losing Seyeon they also had to suffer because of what bullying does. In a world where the adults aren't truly dependable, are more distracted by the need for reputation, status and fame, and act inhumanely when it comes to the suffering of these teens, who could really help our characters? They're all going through their pain and trauma alone and being pushed to the point of seeing life as futile and empty. Everyone in true beauty is a victim of this callous society and adults. And it's unsettling.

THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT WERE STRAINED

But this post is also about friendship. One thing that also was mirrored was the importance of friendship; if the teens all join together to protect their peers, if they all show unity and love and understanding to someone, they could save a life. Friendship apart from Kyung's was really great to see. However, there was a parallel with Suho and Seojun and Kyung and Soojin. I also wanted to say the annoying implications that women friendships have to always to be this way is frustrating; women aren't always conniving and manipulative and fickle when it comes to love, it's sad to see Suho and Seojun discuss so happily and calmly about liking the same girl and in the same episode watch Kyung break down and be brutally betrayed because Soojin liked the same guy as her. Like what message are you putting out? More on the bromance of Seojun, Suho and Seyeon. I find it fascinating because for so long, I wondered why this friendship was so important, like why these three are so tied to each other. But after episode 11 to 12, it's obvious. Like I said these three had had their own volatile situations that made them feel all alone and empty even Seojun actually and finding each other was what ignited their passion for life and brought them happiness and joy. Let me explain more in each character's pov.

Suho; Neglected and Withdrawn

Suho had struggled with a father figure and resentment at the whole world, he had to become self-providing basically and had no emotional support. It's so lonely to hear him talk about how alone he was from a very young age, his father was already distant from him (neglectful probably couldn't handle the mother's death but he also was cheating, so it's a bit ironic), he had no one to live with, and he had to take care of himself alone. But also there was resentment for his father because of the paparazzi tormenting him when he was younger, he felt suffocated by the reputation, popularity and status of his father and his father wasn't there to help him with that. You could say it's because Suho pushed him away, but no it's still a duty as a father to fight to come in and spend time with your son, to ask how he's doing, to check in on him in his house like how has he never once tried to force Suho to spend time with him and communicate their differences? Sigh.

So anyway the reason why Suho needed Seyeon and Seojun is because it was the first time he had people to run to and talk to, and it ignited this passion in him to do something he loves. Music. It's actually depressing when we see his phone in episode 12, he has no contacts apart from Kyung, his father, and maybe the high school guy—like Suho had no one for a long time until he met Kyung again.  But we also see his transformation in this episode, because he's more animated, lively, happy because yes Kyung and him are in love but also because Seojun is back into his life. Seojun and him basically reunite. Despite teasing and acting gruff and emotionless with each other, (because they've been separated for a while) they finally have each other again, they're still close. They still care for each other immensely; they're each others priority. And it's so sweet to watch despite the one painful thing about Seojun having feelings for Kyung.  But even then Seojun staying over at Suho's house and them laughing, and fighting and acting up, even Kyung noticed how different Suho had become. And I don't know it just made my heart warm. So that's what friendship was for Suho, he had two people who he was devoted to, who made him want to have something in life and be trusting again of people. They cared for him and nurtured him in their own way and helped him feel not alone. So congrats to Suho and Seojun reuniting.

Seojun; Responsibility and Pressure

  And now Seojun is a fascinating character. I tend to avoid analysing him because he's always happy, has a comfortable lifestyle; good friends, a good mum, a sister who cares about so much, etc. His life apart from the angst with Seyeon is so problem-free. He doesn't need to be jealous or sad, or traumatised because he's in a suitable environment mentally and he also is a good person. But let's go back to the past before Seyeon's demise. Seojun probably also felt alone and empty. Let me explain Seojun mentions that he used to envy Suho because of his wealth, his father in his life and his reputation. This makes us realise what Seojun thought he lacked, he apparently struggled a bit with poverty and not always having everything; he also didn't have a father figure in his life. In fact, we praise how good he is as a son, but it must have been so difficult to become the responsible man of the house as we put it when he was younger, one he had to worry about his mum's health, and take care and provide for her, two, he had to take care and protect his sister hence why he's so protective, he had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders to deal with.

And I think the one time he felt free and happy at first was probably when he made music with Suho and Seyeon. Because he doesn't have to think about responsibilities, or how to help his mum and more, so that's probably what he gained from their friendship a place to just be a teen and have fun. Obviously it's revealed, Suho helped his mom when she was ill, and that was heartwarming again to find out because these three were so protective and caring for each other, so loyal and bonded, and I think it's precious to see that. Obviously, after Seyeon's downfall, Seojun was resentful, angry and frustrated and he joined his gang of new friends, and they're so sweet, and just as devoted to him, it also made him more rebellious and more prone to fights because he had anger to let out but also his mum started to get better, so he was still frustrated and depressed about the circumstances but he had somewhere else to fall on, his new friends and his taking his anger out when he could. The only thing that probably was very hurtful more than just Seyeon was choosing to give on his dreams for music. However now he and Suho have reunited I think his music will come back, that passion is between him and Suho, and it's their dream.

Seyeon; Alone and Afraid

And well from my analysis you know what these two meant to Seoyeon, his letter is so heartbreaking and also beautiful because like they were all he had. And they just helped him find that confidence, that passion for life and companionship that he needed. And it's so sad he's not still with them. However Seyeon was truly a victim, and because of his influence on both Suho and Seojun, it's why they'd be able to help Kyung deal with everything she has to deal with in the next episodes. Because of Seoyeon, and also because his sister is the same as Kyung, Seojun is very protective and determined to prevent more losses in his life. Suho was at the rooftop and helped Kyung, stayed by her side and understood her when she had no one else making her feel loved for who she was because of Seyeon's effect on him. He also was determined not to have someone else end up in that situation. Because of this, they both will be able to help her get through it, and that's why I'm not as frightened or worried about her because she has these two great guys who won't stand back and let her do this on her own.

As much as true beauty is about a love triangle  between these three, it's also a really touching friendship between all of them. Kyung becomes like the weird replacement (not really) for Seyoeon because she brings back that passion and zeal into these two's lives, and she provides a companionship to them that is different from others, they also do the same for her. So I'm delighted despite the heartbreaks and loss that they found each other, I'm glad they're friends at the end of the day, they care about each other a lot, and even if Seojun somehow ends up the third wheel and the one that's left out a bit, I'm glad that his friendship with Kyung and Suho is still more important to him than vindictiveness or jealousy. Then again, like I said Seojun compared to Soojin is in a different headspace, environment and has more from life than she does. Her mistakes and her betrayal hurts, but it makes sense, I just hope she grows and changes before it's too late. I hope she finds love, peace and happiness someday. Everyone deserves that.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Middle-Grades of 2020

From magical adventures to life-affirming and inspirational stories, I have read a huge amount of fantastic middle-grade novels this year. The world of children’s fiction is in an amazing place right now with more marginalised voices and wonderfully unique ideas being heard. I’m so excited to watch these trends continue next year and beyond.

Here are five middle-grade novels from this year that I think are particularly outstanding and will make great gifts for the kids (or anyone who loves middle-grade) in your life. I hope you enjoy them! -Love, Alex x

1. A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll.

Addie is a smart, brave 11-year-old girl with autism who takes it upon herself to campaign for a memorial for the victims of the witch trials in her small Scottish town. It’s a wonderfully uplifting story of friendship and courage that will have you cheering through the last few chapters.

2. The Ghost of Gosswater by Lucy Strange.

Cast out of her family home, Aggie must adjust to a new life while figuring out whether a stranger is her real father. Meanwhile the spirit of another girl walks the shores of the lake and she may hold the answers to who Aggie really is. I was still thinking about this haunting Gothic tale long after I’d finished it, so it’s the perfect festive gift for those who love an eerie, historical, immersive read.

3. Troofriend by Kirsty Applebaum.

TrooFriend 560 is the latest thing in AI technology and it’s the perfect friend for your child because it never lies, steals or bullies. But when Sarah’s TrooFriend IV begins to seemingly develop human feelings, the trouble is only just getting started. Incredibly unique and relevant to today, this unsettling, dark but still very heartwarming book is a real lesson in what it really means to be human.

4. My Life As A Cat by Carlie Sorosiak.

Leonard comes from a planet where on their 300th birthday, every living thing is allowed to spend a month on Earth and he has big plans to spend it as a park ranger in Yellowstone. But on his descent, something goes wrong and he finds that actually he is in fact a little, black and white stray cat. I went through just about every possible human emotion while reading this beautiful story of family, home and belonging. You’ll appreciate our beautiful planet even more after reading it!

5. When Life Gives You Mangos by Kereen Getten.

Clara lives in a small, peaceful island community in the Caribbean and on the whole, she loves her life. However Clara can’t remember much about the previous summer and her best friend Gaynah has been acting strangely. But a new girl’s arrival on the island could be the catalyst for a whole load of secrets to be spilled. This beautifully written book encompasses family, friendship, community and culture with a great big heavy curveball of a twist. I’ve not read a single review yet where anyone predicted that!

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Best Films of 2019

Wohoo! 2019 has come and gone and man did it fly by. This year we had sooooo many fantastic films and this year was probably the hardest list to put together. I really wanted to include alot more, but I had to make a few cuts. Now I tend to keep my list to the traditional 10 films, but on some occasions I've extended it to 11. This is one of those occasions. I have one runner up that is worth mentioning and I think it should not be missed.

Missing Link: Many animated films are computer generated now and the art of hand drawn animation is rarely shown. The one type of animation that is all but extinct is stop motion animation. It takes time, patience and passion to bring to life characters with such sophistication and care in an almost forgotten art form. The masterminds at Laika are truly imaginative artist and this film shows that in every frame. Not many films take the story of the myth behind Sasquatch to fun places without being hokey and I was relieved that this film took it seriously and pumped so much fun and heart into the story and I think this was a hidden gem of 2019. Click the title for my full review.

Now, on to my list of 2019's best films of the year. If you want my full review of each film then go ahead and click the title of each film. First one up is definitely a fantastic sequel to a film that the author hated, but loved the film adaptation of his second book.

Doctor Sleep: The Shining is a classic that can never really be touched. Stephen King is famously known for disliking the film adaptation of his novel, but with his blessing placed upon Mike Flanagan's vision for the sequel novel, we got this magnificent film. Not only does this film pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick's film, but it also follows the same rules and visual structure while keeping the film fresh. The tone was consistent and the performances were across the board amazing. Ewan McGregor, Rebecca Ferguson and the talented Kyliegh Curran deliver absolute greatness. This film features stunning and intriguing dark moments, but definitely has one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever seen and its all because of Jacob Tremblay's performance in THAT scene.

Ready or Not: How many times have we seen the family initiation story in a romantic comedy? A dozen times I tell you! Well how about you take the same concept, throw in a fun horror version of hide and seek with a hint of the supernatural and great dark comedic writing. You get this fantastic film that is all of that and more. Luckily I stayed away from any major trailers for this film because in retrospect, the R rated trailer gave away too many of the fun gags. The performance of each family member was awesome and this was a standout performance for Samara Weaving. Every year from now on, this film will be on my Halloween watchlist. I loved this film and I can't recommend it enough.

Shazam!: Batman (1989), Superman (1978), The Dark Knight Trilogy and Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse are just to name a few of perfect adaptations of a comic book character to screen. This film was beyond perfection in many ways and the best DC film to date. This film had the right amount of fun, darkness and heart that embodies the life of the titular character. I could see the amount of genuine fun the cast was having on screen and the heartfelt performances of Asher Angel and Zachary Levi were outstanding. Jack Dylan Grazer stole the film with his amazing comedic speed and wit. This was truly a film I had high hopes for and it didn't disappoint.

Avengers: Endgame: How do you start a story in 2008 and bring it to an amazing and satisfying conclusion that wraps up 11 years of storytelling? You have a plan, a clear vision from the very beginning and with that it'll special success. Producer Kevin Feige set out on a journey to bring to life some of the best superheroes and keep them together in a cohesive and long formed narrative to complete a saga that's never been done before. He did it with the best talent behind each film's camera and The Russo Brothers have delivered the most epic film the superhero film genre has ever seen. I have waited my entire life to hear Captain America say "Avengers Assemble!" and I'm so happy I've lived long enough for my dream to come true. This was an emotional journey and end to The Infinity Saga. I really can say so much more about this crowning achievement in storytelling, but I'll keep this summary short.

Rocketman: It was only a mater of time before we got a biopic about the incomparable music legend Elton John. I was hoping that it would not shy away from his sexuality, addictions and his bright and explosive since of style. Well this film jumped right in and held nothing back and I loved every bit. It was truly a fantastical film that had enough gravity and style. The musical locations illustrate his most important moments in his life and are visually stunning and accurate recreations of his most iconic performances. Taron Egerton was Elton John and I loved that he sang all the music. This was truly a masterpiece.

1917: World War II films are a dime a dozen, but the World War I films are rare. Sam Mendes is one of the best directors and all of his films take you on a journey through the eyes, mind and soul of a character and he did exactly that in this film. The fact that this film is almost shot completely in one continuous take, gives every moment gravitas and tension as you watch our main character go along and across enemy lines to prevent an ambush. The score was truly haunting by Thomas Newman and my favorite piece from this film was from the flare scene. Such an stunning achievement in filmmaking should not be missed.

Joker: The clown prince of crime has had many iterations over the past 80 years. The most influential and canonical version of the character came from Frank Miller's The Killing Joke. Heath Ledger's take was iconic and made you scared because of his unpredictability. Joaquin Phoenix has taken the character and given a truly disturbing and authentic performance. As Arthur Fleck, we see through a constantly unraveling psyche, a man become a new and real kind of monster. Not only is this version the most unsettling, but it was beautiful. The cinematography was great and I loved how we got into the mind and heart of the character when he wasn't even speaking. This is a definition of how a person being pushed through horrible conditions can truly become a monster and yet be free. I loved this film and I think it will be studied in many acting classes from here on out.

Ford v Ferrari: There needs to be more racing films of this caliber! I love racing films that are not just about the cars, but also the drivers and their stories. This film was based on the true friendship between Carol Shelby and Ken Miles and I can't say enough how much attention to detail and heart that was put into every frame. The sound design in this film was crisp and powerful. The performances by both Matt Damon and Christian Bale was truly amazing and they had the best chemistry. Their fight scene was the funniest and most realistic fight I've ever seen between 2 friends. James Mangold is one of my favorite directors because of his focus on characters and story first before the action. This was a love letter to the world of racing and a respectful look at the lives of these pioneers of ingenuity and racing.

How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World: How do you make a perfect trilogy? How do you wrap it up with a satisfying and emotional ending? You focus on the story and stay true to the message and heart you started with in the beginning. You let the character bonds naturally grow and make each adventure a learning experience. This film was a perfect ending to the franchise and I can't stress how much I felt like I was with Hiccup and Toothless on their journey to this conclusion. The performances from the cast were stellar as always and although the villain may not have been as great, he still was a good addition. The visuals were the best and the textures in the scales and sand were out of this world. The score by John Powell truly brought me to tears as I got to say goodbye to my favorite companions. If you ever owned a pet, you known the emotional bond that is forged. This was the ultimate pay off and as a pet owner I saw my dog in Toothless' eyes. I will miss this franchise. If you're not crying by the end of this film then something is wrong with you.

The Peanut Butter Falcon: There are some independent films that take a risk in going outside of the norm and telling a story that nobody would have ever dreamed. This film was truly something special and I can't tell you how happy I was throughout. This film focuses on an individual with down syndrome whose dream is to become a wrestler and it is something truly inspirational and heartwarming. Zack Gottsagen was truly brilliant and awesome in this film. I loved his journey and his will to keep going. Shia Lebouf delivers an equally powerful performance and his chemistry with Zack was very sweet. This is one of the best films of 2019 and the most important films of the decade.

And here we are ladies and gentlemen! This is the moment you've all been reading toward. This film was an automatic choice for me the moment the end credits rolled. The crowing jewel of 2019 is none other than.....

Booksmart: I have seen so many high school teen comedies about partying or loosing your virginity before graduation, but never have I seen a film so engaging and focused on the bond of two bestfriends. Their bond was the heart and soul of the film and you couldn't have asked for a better pair of actresses. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever were beyond perfection in every moment of this film and they had me cracking up left and right. Their adventure over the course of one night was truly fun and you are along for the hilarious ride. Billie Lourd nearly stole the whole film out from under them with her surprising and hilarious appearances. The music choices in the film were awesome as well. The comedy in this film was so fresh and from the first 6 minutes of the film you’re locked into these two ladies chemistry. I can't stress enough how much joy this film brought me and for a film to be on my mind for the entire year and to have me constantly recommending it to everyone I know is an achievement of itself. Olivia Wilde has directed a true masterpiece and new definition of a coming of age story. I can't stop gushing about this film so I'll finish off by saying WATCH THIS FILM!

And that is my list of the best films of 2019 and man has it been a great year in film. Lets hope 2020 starts off the decade with a bang! Thanks for reading everyone.

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What do you think are the best episodes of Tiny Toons and why?

10.) Let’s Do Lunch

This episode is a perfect example of how the writers went out of their way to make the Tiny Toons superficially similar, but very different than their Looney Tunes counterparts. Sweetie trying to frame Furrball for eating her so he will get kicked out is a simple change, but one that adds so much to the humour of the cartoon.

9.) Pluck O’ The Irish

Definitely my favourite of the spooky episodes they’ve done. Hamton and Plucky are a great comedic team, and this is one of their best. Also, i’m a sucker for this sweet-sincere moments, and seeing how much Plucky really does care about Hamton is a really nice moment.

8.) The Acme Bowl

I really prefer character driven episodes over the slapstick driven ones. This is a great use of Plucky, and Roderick for that matter who is a really fun and underused villain. Of course the ending is what seals the deal. It’s just sappy and feelgood.

7.) Sawdust and Toonsil

Definitely one of the most beloved episodes and for good reason. It’s one of the more serious episodes they ever did, with a villain who’s an actual threat. The stakes are much higher than normal and it’s very sweet and touching over-all. They did a really good job doing a relatively more serious episode with such an outlandish character as Gogo.

6.) Citizen Max

Man, I wish they had done more parodies of classic Hollywood films cause these episodes are always so great. This one has some of the best jokes in the series. For example, replacing “rosebud” with “acme” seems really cringe at first (since “acme” is one of the most overused things in the show), but the amount of content they ring out of it is incredible.

5.) Toons Take Over

Just a really funny episode. Strong humour based on Buster, Babs and Plucky’s personalities. Another good example of what made the show special and unique.

4.) Homeward Bound

This one is just a really sweet, heartwarming Furrball cartoon. It’s dripping in sentimentality that really works for his character, considering what the poor little cat normally has to go through.

3.) Hollywood Plucky

A really funny episode and a great showcase of Plucky’s character.

2.) Can’t Buy Me Love

A really great use of Elmyra that isn’t annoying, and explores a part of her personality that goes beyond her mindless love of animals.

1.) Sepulveda Blvd

Another great movie parody, and a perfect choice as well. Monty and Elmyra work perfectly in the roles of Joe Gillis and Norma Desmond. This episode puts the whacky Tiny Toons spin on the film and it’s most famous scenes, as well as an unsettling atmosphere and some beautiful animation.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: July Books

Well, I’ve certainly had a rollercoaster of a month. My stress levels have been all over the place and to be honest, it has been quite exhausting. I’ve been dealing with a lot of job rejections recently which is putting me under huge financial strain now, as I enter my eighth month of unemployment. I’m trying not to get too wrapped up in it, but it is understandably having a knock-on effect on my mental health. I have a couple of potential freelance leads though, so the light is slowly starting to come back on in that area of my life.

On a positive note, I am still living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend Mark and he has been the most incredible calming influence. We’re very much in a warm fuzzy bubble of love and in some ways, possibly the most important ways, I am the happiest and most relaxed I’ve ever been. Of course, I wish that I had the funds to treat him in the way he deserves and be more of an equal partner in that respect but he is so supportive and wonderful. I know exactly where I’d be without him and I’m so thankful that I’m not in that place.

Last week, I joined my parents for a week in the Lake District. Mark came for the first couple of days too and we had a really lovely time, going on long walks and taking in the scenery. It’s so peaceful up there, which did me a world of good and even sparked some inspiration for some possible future creative projects. 

I have read a fair amount this month too, passing the 100 books read in 2020 mark. In a normal year, this is my grand total so it felt good to achieve it with five full months of the year to go. My target is 150 and I’m still well on target to smash it, so here’s hoping I hit at least one goal by the end of this weird, terrible year. -Love, Alex x

CONTEMPORARY FICTION: The Little Teashop in Tokyo by Julie Caplin

When travel blogger and photographer Fiona wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Tokyo, she isn’t prepared to be met at the airport by Gabe Burnett, the very man who broke her heart a decade ago. Japan has always been one of my bucket list destinations and this cute romance planted me right in the middle of a bustling, charming Tokyo. Wonderfully immersive and drenched in culture, it’s the perfect slice of escapism that we all need right now.

LITERARY FICTION: The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett.

Twins Stella and Desiree Vignes grew up in a small black community in the Louisiana village of Mallard but at the age of 16, they both run away to New Orleans to build their own lives. A decade later, the twins are not only separated by thousands of miles but by entirely different communities and identities that filter down into the following generation of Vignes women. Exploring race, classism, gender and motherhood, The Vanishing Half is highly addictive and thought-provoking with characters that burrow into your heart and a story full of empathy.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Unadoptables by Hana Tooke.

Lotta, Egg, Fenna, Sem and their leader, the brave, tenacious Milou are considered the ‘unadoptable’ orphans of Little Tulip Orphanage, so when a mysterious man wants to adopt all five of them, suspicions are raised. Cue a heartwarming journey to find the true meaning of home and family. This whimsical tale takes place in 1890s Netherlands, which is a place and time that I’ve never been to before. Packed full of intrigue and mystery as well as characters that will touch your heart, it’s a beautifully illustrated adventure that you won’t be able to put down.

YA: You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson.

When shy awkward Liz Lighty misses out on the scholarship of her dreams, there’s still a way for her to get it -becoming prom queen in her prom-obsessed town. She didn’t plan on cute, funny, new girl Mack showing up though. Managing to be both fluffy and heart-achingly real, You Should See Me In A Crown is the perfect queer YA rom-com to snuggle up with after a stressful day. Liz is an absolute darling and you’ll cheer for her the entire way through.  

HORROR: Harrow Lake by Kat Ellis.

When horror film director Nolan Nox is viciously attacked in his flat, his teenage daughter Lola is sent to live with a grandmother who she has never met in the small town of Harrow Lake, where Nolan’s most famous film, Nightjar, was set. Submerged in a 1980s horror pool, Harrow Lake is dripping in local urban legend terror and a coldness that seeps its way through the pages. The small town setting, hugely unsettling atmosphere and chilling slow reveals resemble a Stephen King novel, so I’d say it’s a great introduction to supernatural horror for YA readers.

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‘Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil.’

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Hufflepuffs make the best friends, lovers and all-round human beings. Therefore it’s only natural that they be treated with a fantastic brand new book this Christmas.

Fiction: Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

A warm cosy setting, a colourful cast of characters and an array of beautiful heartwarming stories all rolled into one strange little novella make Before The Coffee Gets Cold possibly the most Hufflepuff book of the year. Ultimately it’s about bringing people together despite the seemingly impossible and gaining closure all from a quirky cafe in a back alley of Tokyo. Moving, thought-provoking and beautifully written, your favourite Puff will give it the biggest hug on turning the last page.

Non-Fiction: Breaking and Mending by Joanna Cannon

It may seem like an obvious choice to put a medical memoir in a Hufflepuff’s gift guide but Joanna Cannon’s honest, open words on her time as an NHS doctor and psychiatrist is so much more than that. It also touches on the idea of kindness, compassion and the true art of getting those things just right. Hufflepuffs give so much of themselves to others and this timely little book will gently warn them of the dangers of emotional and professional burnout. It’s also an essential reminder of the importance and sacredness of our NHS, which is needed amidst today’s headlines more than ever.

Middle-Grade: I, Cosmo by Carlie Sorosiak

A typical Puff has a lot in common with a loveable Golden Retriever. Cosmo is certainly loyal, hard-working and has a huge amount of perseverance, which Hufflepuffs no doubt do too. This warm fuzzy story focuses on the vital role that a dog plays in helping his human Max deal with the breakdown of his parents’ marriage and become a star in the process! It will put a smile on anyone’s face but it’s especially perfect for those who deserve a fraction of the joy that they put into the world themselves.

YA: Toffee by Sarah Crossan

Everyone knows that an open-minded, easy-going badger can find friends anywhere and Toffee is all about the beauty of an unlikely friendship. Crossan’s gorgeous spare verse is incredibly emotive and wise which will definitely appeal to those with an intense love of matters of the heart. It’s also a very moving and unique coming-of-age story that will wind its way through your veins and stay with you forever -much like your beloved Puff friend. You can read my full thoughts on it here.

Thriller: The Family Upstairs by Lisa Jewell

Unequivocally unsettling and gripping, The Family Upstairs is the story of a family torn apart by a dangerous lodger and his gross unsettling influence on an entire household. Throughout the different story strands, there is a strong theme of protecting one’s own and battling the odds to reunite the family, which will keep a Puff’s teeth clenched and fingers turning the pages. There is no doubt that single mother Lucy, clueless orphan Libby and deeply disturbed Henry will all win Hufflepuffs over at some point in the narrative, even as the twists get darker... You can read my full thoughts on The Family Upstairs here.

The badgers in your life really do deserve all five of these books, so go ahead and take your pick!