#percy's coping a hell of a lot better than i am tbh

[raps-hellion]

*TRIALS OF APOLLO SPOILERS*

something about blonds (percy is not coping well at all).

+ percabeth

[shadowfae]

I've recently stumbled across the word "otherkin" and it seems to describe certain feelings I have, but the tumblr tags seem to be full of unuseful information and, well, silliness. I'm sort of looking for people to talk to while I try to sort myself out, without making too much light of it. Do you have any advice on sifting through everything?

Besides going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ and never doing anything about it?

First things first. You’re new, so we’re going to divide this into two parts. Part one, crash course on otherkinity, alterhumanity, and the little branches of it you should know about. Those words and terms will help you figure out what’s what. Part two is great, you know all these terms, how do you sort through the mess that is kinfeels. 

Under a readmore because long, since I ramble sometimes. I’m glad you asked, and if you have any further questions, hit me up again and I’ll do what I can.

Part One: What Even Is Otherkinity

Otherkinity is identifying involuntarily and nonphysically as something nonhuman. You aren’t saying you are physically this thing (as you are physically human), you cannot choose to be this thing and can’t choose not to be this thing, and you do not identify as human 100%. 

The modifiers: Fictionkin means you can be something that is human, but it must be fictional (like Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or smth). You can be a member of a fictional species that isn’t human (like the Elf Queen’s Daughters of the early 70s that started the fictionkin community). It is still involuntary and nonphysical.

Otherkinity is divided into three ‘main’ branches: therianthropy, otherkinity, and fictionkind. Therians (or therianthropes) ID as an animal that has been or is on Earth. Like dinosaurs or foxes. There are an absurd amount of wolf therians here on tumblr. Those that are obviously faking or haven’t questioned enough for even themselves and just went with ‘wolf’ because it’s cool are called wolfaboos. Usually I just don’t talk to them, since to each their own and they’re not actively being annoying, but please don’t just “oh I’m not human clearly I’m a wolf” the moment you get kinfeels. Things don’t... work... like that...

Anyway. Otherkinity as a sublabel of itself generally has within it our conceptkin (I’m calling it that for now. Things like voidkin or starkin), theriomythics (fantasy animals within mythology such as unicorns and youkai), draconics (draconity, which is dragons and pretty self explanatory), the vampire and were____ communities, and probably a few others.

Fictionkind I already went over. I have three kintypes that are fictionkind in nature. They are called fictotypes for this reason. (Kintypes is the label for all of them, but there is also theriotypes and fictotypes for therianthropy and fictionkind.)

Those fictotypes are Pale Noël from the Evillious Chronicles, a noncanon Devil from DSP’s works, and an Absol from Pokemon. As I have more than two kintypes, I am in what we call ‘polykin hell’. Though tbh, most people put themselves in polykin hell when they’re up past five. Poor guys.

The things that are close to otherkinity but not actually it!

Copinglinkers- They ID as something voluntarily to cope with something. Usually trauma or mental illness. While not otherkin, they are alterhuman and do belong in our community. They are also called copingkin, which is a bit outdated but since copinglink is a new term, I’ll let it slide. (It was coined by @who-is-page, actually, and they are a delight to follow if you want to see antikin absolutely dragged through the mud.)

Otherhearted- Those who identify not as something but with it. As an example, I am faehearted and shadowhearted. I identify with those things because one of my fictotypes did, and that carried over. It is very easy to mistake heartfeels for kinfeels. Regardless, like c’linkers and ‘kin they are alterhuman and totally rad.

Synpaths- Tbh I’m not quite sure what’s the difference between synpaths and ‘hearted. (I have heard it is ‘ID with this’ versus ‘I want to hug that’ but you should not be asking me; as I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.) Either way, if you think you have a synpath go research that. Please don’t ask me, I don’t know. All I know is that they exist and they do stuff, so they’re worth mentioning.

There are also ways to be otherkin, for lack of a better term. Ways you explain why you identify as these things. There are two main ‘branches’ to this: spiritual and psychological. There are also religious, cultural, and probably a few other reasons, but let’s go with the ones off the top of my head.

Spiritual- Can be anything from ‘my soul is this and my body is not’ to ‘I was this in a past life, and it is still relevant’. (You can have past lives that aren’t kintypes. The difference is simply how much they affect you. I do believe I had a life a fuckass long time ago in second age Senntisten, but as it isn’t relevant outside of vague memories of fire, it isn’t a fictotype of mine.)

Psychological- Anything from ‘I used this as a c’link at one point but it is now irreversible, and I am this now’ to ‘My brain decided to be wired weird and now I ID as this’. Essentially, you have a psychological reasoning for being kin or hearted or whatev. Psychological otherkin get thrown under the bus a lot because really angry copinglinks insist they’re kin and we’re “gatekeeping ableist jerks”. The difference is that c’links choose and can drop their identity. Psychological otherkin cannot. The line can be pretty blurred, and in that case you’d best just slap down “I am this, currently questioning if c’link or kintype”. Literally nobody can yell at you for that. I’ve had to do it before. Never did figure out what it was, but it doesn’t matter now.

Religious- I don’t see this one as often, but I think it’s something along the lines of ‘my God wants me to feel like I’m this for X reason’? Or maybe it’s a past life thing that your religious says you have. (I think Buddhism does that, but I am no religious scholar and I might be wrong.) 

Cultural- I’ve seen this mostly in Native American folks, but I’m sure they’re not the only ones. What I have seen is ‘my family have always been crows, so I am a crow therian’. I don’t know much about Native cultures, despite having grown up around them, so I suppose if you had cultural reasons, you’d already know? I do believe spirit animals play into this, but I’m what we call ‘exotic white bread’ and I am not the authority. But I also don’t know who to redirect you to about this. Hm. I’m gonna have to go asking around.

And of course, to finish off part one: multiplicity. That’s a fun one.

Multiple systems aren’t kin. Not hearted either or anything. They’re the other ‘main branch’ of being alterhuman. They are usually several people trying to pilot one body. They use terms like fictive, which is not fictionkin(d), though the two get confused an awful lot. A fictionkind person is someone who IDs as someone or something fictional. A fictive is a part of a multiple system who IS that person, with usually no other identity. 

Using myself as an example: I am fictionkind, and one of my fictotypes has green hair. I do not have green hair right now, and that fictotype is not my entire identity. A fictive is more like “hi I’m Harry Potter and I live here now, in your body, with you”. That would be his entire identity: he is Harry Potter.

Factives are close to that, but real people that do or have existed on Earth. That’s like “hi I’m Shakespeare and I live here now”. It’s possible to have system members that are neither. That’s chill.

Supposedly, multiple systems can be both trauma-born and not-trauma-born. The latter is usually called endogenic, I think. DID/OSDD are two disorders that cause multiplicity, but as far as I know they are not the only ways to have multiplicity. You can soulbond and things, which is like the copinglink for multiplicity as in you bring someone in voluntarily. (Tulpas are also a multiplicity thing.)

Part Two: How Do I Deal With Maybe Being Otherkin Without Just Screaming Into The Void

First things first. My way is not the only way to do it. It is one method, but it tends to work for lots of people so here’s the method I know. It’s chill to ask around and figure out what others do, and then find the method that works for you.

Second things second. Do not ask a pendulum or divination blog to kinfirm something. It is a terrible method. You can divine yourself, but do not ask anyone online. Nobody’s divination is always right, and when you’re doing it online, the chance of being right drops exponentially. Bad method, 0/10 do not recommend. (You can totally divine for yourself, though. My tarot deck is particularly sassy about my own god complex from kinfeels.)

And the actual method.

1. Go create a sideblog. Name it whatever, find a nice theme you like. Make sure it is readable and not just pretty.

2. Make a tags page. I suggest doing this over a couple of days, because you are going to forget what tags you need. You want to sort between ‘angry vagueing about nothing making sense’ from ‘feels related to this’.

3. Document EVERYTHING EVER. If you think it is kin related, write that down. If you have vague memories of something, write that down too. Tag it appropriately, if only so you can find it later. (’tag later’ is a good tag if you’re on the go and know you’ll forget if you don’t write it down now.)

What I also do is fill this blog specifically with images that resonate with me. I use a queue and tagging system for this. (White blossoms is the tag for gentle TLW things; whereas black blossoms is General Edge(TM).) You should put images that resonate with you in a Particularly Kin Way on that blog. If it’s art or anything, remember to source it, though. Reblog, don’t repost. 

Also, if you’re into requesting things from kin blogs like stimboards or aesthetics, have a reqs tag for them! Keeps it all in one place and you know where you got them from. I like JUST put in mine and I am angry I didn’t do it before.

Then, self introspection. You need to ask why on everything ever. Question things. Do you do insertthinghere because your parents said so, or does it seem like you just have to? 

If questioning feels very upsetting or uncomfortable, stop for the day. I don’t recommend any more than an hour and half in one go. Your brain will confirm things that aren’t true in order to work with you. (Confirmation bias, I think it’s called.) Keep the questioning to short bursts, even if you’re on a roll.

If you must go longer, document document DOCUMENT. Writing things down makes them clearer, and halfway through writing you’ll go “oh shit that’s why that happens”.

It’s okay if your writing is messy or only makes sense to you. This is all your own, and how you go about it is entirely your decision. 

Questioning should take you weeks or months. There are a few outliers who can kinfirm something in two days and be right, but let’s be honest here: nobody likes them because we all envy them and want to be them, so we don’t like them. All jokes aside, keep it to a pace you can handle and don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Got all that? Good. Now do a shit ton of research. If you’re questioning, say, harpykin, chase links across Wikipedia and read everything you can get your hands on about harpies. You might come across something else that’s close to it: off the top of my head, the Maximum Ride series, for example, is close-ish to harpies. Check that out too, but if it doesn’t resonate, don’t push it. If it ain’t a thing and you know it isn’t, don’t bother with it, it’ll get you nowhere.

Ask around! Don’t be afraid to ask someone “hey do you think this could happen?” Nobody’s input is the end all be all, but if they’re someone you think is educated on the matter, take it into consideration. (You would not believe how much of an idiot I felt like while doing research on demonology and a friend pointed out that Christianity is not the only religion with demons. It’s obvious, but never occurred to me. You will get that feeling at some point. Happens to the best of us.)

Lastly, go at your own pace. And if you have done all of this, it will be several months from now. Go back and look at your oldest kin documents. You will understand it all so much better, and you’ll mentally high-five your past self for knowing so little, but being so full of hope anyway.

Of course, if after all of this someone tries to invalidate you, it won’t work. You’ll have done the research, the self introspection, the grueling grind of “why why why?”. They can’t tell you the sky is red if you’re not colourblind. If they try to grill you for your information, you can point them nicely towards your probably-a-trainwreck of a sideblog and they will see your documented adventure of ‘what am I?’. And then they will stop talking, because you have proven that you know what’s up.

And as the very last piece of advice? You will be wrong. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can be questioning. You can say “I don’t fucking know!!”. You are allowed to have bumps and wrong turns in your journey. They will happen. It’s okay. Take a deep breath, see where you might have made a mistake, write that down, and keep going. Progress is progress. You’ll figure it out eventually, no need to know it all right this very minute.

I hope this helps, little anon! This is how I came to find out I was- and I’m not done yet, either. I have some oceanic kinfeels that I know exist but don’t know what they are: fuckers better show themselves to me soon because I’m onto them. Who knows where that adventure will take me.

[th3kintsugi]

50 Questions

tagged by: @so-tired-yet-so-alive (THNX BOO!)

rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions

1. coke or pepsi? to be honest, I don’t drink either of them. they have this weird taste and I prefer sprite or root beer

2. disney or dreamworks? DREAMWORKS

3. coffee or tea? Tea, definitely. I love a good coffee every now and then but I’m addicted to tea so much that if you cut me I’d bleed earl grey

4. books or movies? if it’s reading or watching movies then reading, but if its the book or the movie that came from the book......it’s still the book i love reading srry 

5. windows or mac? I don’t know enough about computers to choose but I have windows rn and i like it so....

6. dc or marvel? MARVEL

7. xbox or playstation? I’ve never played either of them before 

8. dragon age or mass effect? Dragon Age, but only cuz i saw the gameplay on youtube awhile ago

9. night owl or early riser? NIGHT OWL ASF.

10. cards or chess? It depends on the card game tbh, like if it’s blackjack or chess then i’d pick chess, but if it’s ERS or chess, then ERS anyday

11. chocolate or vanilla? *inserts that fish in spongebob screaming CHOCOLATE*

12. vans or converse? Converse all the way. they just really suit my style

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar? Lavellan, cuz those face tattoos are bomb as fuck

14. fluff or angst? maybe a mix of the two? I like stories that start out angsty and then get better. it satisfies both my pessimistic and optimistic sides equally

15. beach or forest? I have VERY mixed hair and do you know what mixed hair’s mortal enemy is? Fucking sand. Plus, the way that light reaches through trees is my aesthetic ngl

16. dogs or cats? I love dogs, but cats are so much more chill like me

17. clear skies or rain? RAIN. I get more inspiration for writing whn it’s rainy idk why

18. cooking or eating out? “eating out, take that in whatever way you will” - @so-tired-yet-so-alive Honestly this answer was pure gold so imma keep it here because damn this is good

19. spicy food or mild food? Spicy, good for the sinuses

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? I didn’t grow up celebrating these, so Chanukkah cuz that’s what I grew up with (no I’m not Jewish, no I’m not going to explain)

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? A little too cold becuz being a blanket burrito is another one of my aesthetics 

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be? the ability to switch powers whenever I wanted, cuz if you look up in the dictionary for “Indecisive (adj.)” You’ll see three different pictures of me because I didn’t know which one to choose.

23. animation or live action? Live action

24. paragon or renegade? Srry idk anything about Mass Effect

25. baths or showers? Baths. They’re more comfy even though I take more showers

26. team cap or team ironman? Team Cap

27. fantasy or sci-fi? FANTASY

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they? 

“The path to Heaven run through miles of clouded hell right to the top.”  

- Imagine Dragons, ‘It’s Time’

29. youtube or netflix? For entertainment and laughing, Youtube, but if I wanna chill ;) then netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson? HARRY POTTER! They were written so well and I cried a lot. I haven’t read Percy Jackson, but I’d be willing to tho

31. when do you feel accomplished? Seeing people smile and/or being moved by something i did is honestly my ultimate goal in life as a stranger, as a friend, and as a writer

32. star wars or star trek? Star Trek, but only because my mom is a major trekkie and she didn’t even let star wars into the house so i’ve never seen them

33. paperback or hardback books? HARDBACK

34. horror or rom-com? rom-com, cuz i’ve actually never seen a horror movie

35. tv shows or movies? TV shows because you get to know the characters a LOT better over longer periods of time

36. favourite animal? my top 3 favourites would probably be ravens (they’re my patronus), wolves and barn owls

37. favourite genres of music? Indie, Alternative rock, Punk, and Kpop would be my top genres. I’m kind of a musical chameleon cuz i like SO MANY different genres like you should see my spotify playlists its crazy

38. least favourite book? FUCKING LORD OF THE FLIES

39. favourite season? Either autumn or winter 

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head? Young and Menace by Fall Out Boy cuz it came out last night and that shit is FIRE

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear? I don’t really like wearing anything other than underwear ;)

42. how many existential crises do you have on an average day? WAIT IT’S NOT JUST ONE CONSTANT CRISIS??

43. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be? Would it really matter if I can’t hear it?? Hmmmm probably Anna Kendrick - Cups (cuz they’re gonna miss me when I’m gone) haha I’m so sorry

44. favourite theme song to a TV show? The fresh prince of bellaire theme song cuz NoStAlGiA

45. harry potter movies or books?THE BOOKS

46. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? i don’t really have an otp and if i did then NO! WHERE ELSE AM I GOING TO SPEW MY UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS?!?!

47. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? Sadly, I cannot play an instrument but i’d love to learn the piano and/or the harp

48. what is the worst way to die? honestly any way that’s slow

49. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? For only a day?! Go to D.C and shake my bare ass at the president Hmmm maybe sneak into movie theaters and watch them for free

50. (my question) What are you planning on doing with your life? Well I’m glad you asked I’m planning on going to college for a major in english and a minor in photography so I can become an author and photographer :D

YAAAY this is one of the first things I’ve been tagged in despite me being on the website for like idk four years, so it was fun!! I’m tagging @kihyunslips, @cjphoenix135, @literally-just-yoongi-trash, @realistic-but-optimistic, @twisted-decisions, @tabby-flenderson, @onlywanttobeyourequal, @asalookslikeloki, @canislupusdingo, & @im-made-of-vanilla