#people who then gush over my writing and characters get a special place in my heart and in heaven!

[whereforarthur]

You’re The Only Man I Want to Kiss

Request: hello!! i saw you were taking requests and im just wondering if you’re able to write an Italian Bach fic, were him and the reader are together and they make a youtube videos on his channel and they’re like reacting to some video? like could you place the character into one of his videos???

Pairing: ItalianBach x gf!reader

Rating: PG-13

Category: Fluff with some light smut

Word Count: 2.2k

*****

Hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

One evening, after a particularly successful day of filming, y/n and Isaac decide to react to "Women Rank Men by Kissing." The video was a montage of women giving their honest opinions on men's kissing abilities, which ranged from toe-curling passion to awkward pecks. Isaac looked at Y/N with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, suggesting they should make their own reaction to the video, having already made several similar videos, he finally wanted to feel a reaction with his girlfriend.

Y/N was a bit hesitant at first, but the more they discussed it, the more she warmed up to the idea. They set up the camera and hit record, their laughter echoing through the room as they watched the first few clips. As they reacted to each kiss, they couldn't help but lean into each other, their own connection growing stronger with every shared giggle and eye roll. The tension in the air grew thicker as they reached the part of the video where the women began to praise the men's skills, and Y/N couldn't help but blush at the thought of what they might say about Isaac's own kisses.

One particularly awkward kiss had them both cringing, their hands shooting up to cover their faces. "Oh my gosh, what even was that?" Y/N exclaimed, peeking through her fingers. Isaac chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I promise you, I've never kissed anyone like that," he reassured her, gently placing a hand on her arm. The next kiss was even worse, a sloppy mess that had them both writhing in their seats. "Ew, no, no, no," they both said in unison, shaking their heads vigorously. Their bond grew stronger as they shared in the embarrassment and second-hand awkwardness of the strangers on the screen.

The room filled with their laughter as they watched the reactions of the women, who were equally appalled by some of the kisses. It was like they were in a club of shared experience, nodding along with the strangers' pained expressions. "How do people even do that?" Y/N whispered to him, her eyes wide with disbelief. Isaac just shrugged, smiling warmly. "Some people are just… special," he replied, his voice thick with sarcasm. They continued to watch, their shoulders touching, their knees bumping together under the table.

As the montage went on, the kisses began to improve, and their reactions grew more playful. Y/N leaned in closer to the screen, scrutinizing each one, while Isaac playfully poked fun at the overly dramatic ones. "Look at that guy," he said, pointing at a man who was practically devouring his partner's face. "I bet he thinks he's in a romance novel." Y/N giggled, slapping his hand away. "At least he's enthusiastic," she quipped back. The tension between them had shifted from awkwardness to something more electric, their teasing banter charged with a hint of flirtation.

Isaac took advantage of the moment, leaning in closer to whisper in her ear, "I bet you're wondering if I'd rank high in this video, aren't you?" His teasing tone sent a shiver down her spine, and she playfully swatted his arm, trying to hide her smile. He knew just how to get under her skin, and it was part of the reason she loved him so much. She shot him a playful glare, her heart racing with anticipation and a hint of nervousness.

They watched as the women on screen gushed over one particularly steamy kiss, and Isaac couldn't resist the urge to lean in and press a gentle kiss to her cheek. "How was that?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. Y/N rolled her eyes, feigning indifference, but her cheeks betrayed her. She felt the heat spread across her face as she replied, "It'll do, I guess."

Their banter continued, each trying to one-up the other with their sarcastic comments and exaggerated facial expressions. The room was filled with the comforting sounds of their laughter and the occasional clinking of their glasses as they took sips of their drinks, the perfect pairing for a light-hearted evening in. As they delved deeper into the video, the kisses grew more intense, and so did their teasing.

The video took a turn when a particularly passionate kiss came on screen. The woman's eyes fluttered shut, and the man's hand was tenderly cradling her cheek. It was clear from their expressions that this was not just a peck for the camera, but something real and intimate. Y/N's cheeks grew rosy as she watched, and she felt Isaac's gaze on her. She looked over to find him staring at her, his eyes dark and intense. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned in and kissed her, mimicking the tender moment they had just seen. The kiss was soft and lingering, a stark contrast to the ones they had been mocking.

"Look at that," Isaac said, pointing at the screen with mock seriousness. "That guy's got nothing on me." Y/N couldn't help but laugh, knowing that he was just trying to get a rise out of her. She took a sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving his as she responded, "Mm, maybe you're right. But you'll have to remind me later." Her voice was light and playful, but the underlying flirtation was clear.

Isaac leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving hers as he took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll take that as a challenge," he said, setting his glass down with a thud. "We'll have to do some… research after this, make sure I'm up to par."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, playing along with his game. "Oh, really?" she quipped. "Well, I suppose someone has to keep you in check."

Isaac chuckled, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Someone has to, otherwise, I might just become unbearable." He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her skin as he whispered, "But you love me that way, don't you?"

Y/N couldn't help but laugh, feeling the heat of his proximity. "Unbearable is your middle name," she replied, her voice barely above a murmur. Their eyes locked, and for a moment, the laughter in the room faded away, replaced by a silent understanding that spoke louder than any words could.

They both knew where this was heading, and the excitement grew. They turned their attention back to the video, but it was clear that their hearts weren't fully in it anymore. With a dramatic sigh, Isaac leaned into the camera and addressed his viewers, "Alright, bachlings, we're taking a quick break from our scholarly analysis of the art of kissing. We've got some… personal research to conduct." He winked, and Y/N's cheeks burned even hotter.

The screen went black for a moment before flickering back to life. Isaac cleared his throat, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "We're back," he announced, his voice a little deeper than before. Y/N sat next to him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Before we dive back in, I just wanted to apologize to all the single folks out there," he began, "For flaunting our love so shamelessly."

Y/N playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't you dare," she whispered, her voice low enough that the camera wouldn't pick it up.

Isaac's smile grew wider, and he took her hand in his. "But, my love," he said, his voice dripping with faux innocence, "We can't keep our adoring fans in the dark. They need to know what true bachelor perfection looks like."

Y/N rolled her eyes, but the blush on her cheeks deepened. "Fine," she conceded, her voice a mix of amusement and affection. "But only because you're irresistible."

Isaac leaned in closer, his gaze locking onto hers, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, bachlings," he said, his voice smoother than the wine they'd been sipping. "But true love knows no bounds, and we just couldn't resist the urge to… compare notes."

Y/N couldn't hold back her giggles any longer, the tension between them breaking like a dam. "You're terrible," she said, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

Isaac leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "But you love me anyway." He paused, his eyes searching hers. "Don't you?"

Y/N couldn't help but smile at his antics. "Always," she murmured, her heart fluttering in her chest. They shared a soft, lingering kiss, the kind that made the rest of the world fade away. The camera captured it all, the intimacy of the moment unfiltered and raw.

When they finally pulled away, their eyes remained locked, the love between them palpable. "Well, I think we've found our new favorite video genre," Isaac said, his voice thick with emotion. Y/N nodded, her cheeks still flushed from their shared moment.

They decided to keep the camera rolling, their authenticity being a key component of their channel's charm. They turned their focus back to the screen, watching as the women continued to rank the kisses. Each time a particularly passionate kiss played, they'd exchange glances, the unspoken challenge hanging in the air. They laughed and joked, but there was an underlying current of something more profound, something that only they understood.

As the video progressed, the kisses grew more sensual, and their playful banter evolved into gentle touches and lingering gazes. Y/N leaned into Isaac's side, her head resting on his shoulder as they watched, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. It was a dance they had perfected over time, a silent conversation that needed no words.

The final kiss played on the screen, and the women on the video erupted into a chorus of approval. Y/N looked up at Isaac, her eyes filled with a mischievous glint. "Alright," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "Your turn to be judged."

Isaac grinned, leaning in for a kiss that was anything but a mere peck. It was a kiss that spoke of love and desire, a kiss that held all the promise of a thousand more. The camera kept rolling, capturing the intimate moment, but they were too lost in each other to care.

When they finally broke away, they were both breathless, their eyes shining with excitement. "Well," Y/N said, her voice a little shaky, "I think we've set the bar pretty high."

Isaac nodded, his hand still resting on her cheek. "We've got to end this before it gets too steamy for our innocent audience." He leaned back in his chair, and with a dramatic flourish, wiped his brow. "Phew, that was intense."

Y/N giggled, her eyes sparkling. "You know they're going to love this," she said, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

Isaac nodded, his own smile mirroring hers. "Let's wrap this up before we get carried away," he suggested, his voice a low murmur. He reached for the camera, his thumb hovering over the stop button. "Thank you all for tuning in," he began, his tone playfully formal, "We hope you enjoyed our… thorough analysis of the art of kissing. Remember, folks, practice makes perfect."

Y/N giggled, her cheeks still flushed from their private interlude. "We'll see you all next time," she chimed in, her voice light and airy. "And don't forget to hit that subscribe button if you want more exclusive content like this."

Isaac gave the camera one last charming smile before hitting the stop button. The red light faded to black, and the room was filled with the sudden silence of their reality, no longer amplified by the digital world. He turned to Y/N, his eyes searching hers. "How was that?" he asked, his voice now devoid of the playful bravado he'd had moments ago.

Y/N's smile was soft, her eyes filled with warmth. "Perfect," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. She leaned in, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek, and they shared another kiss, this one slower, more tender than the last. It was a promise, a secret shared only between them.

When they pulled away, the energy in the room had shifted. The playful banter was gone, replaced by a simmering tension that was undeniable. "I think we should save the rest of our… research for later," she suggested, her voice a sultry purr.

Isaac nodded, his eyes dark with desire. "Mm, I like the way you think," he murmured, tracing his thumb along her jawline. They both knew that the chemistry they shared on camera was only a fraction of what they had in private. The thought of exploring that connection further sent a thrill down his spine.

They turned off the lights, leaving only the soft glow of the computer screen to illuminate the room. The air was thick with desire, and their eyes were locked on each other as they moved closer, the anticipation building with every shared breath. The playfulness of their earlier banter had evolved into something much more intimate, a dance of passion that only the two of them knew the steps to.

[xiaobaosnoona]

Noona's 2024 Drama Wrap-up

Yeah, so don't expect me to make sense, I just need to gush my entire soul out about the dramas that kicked butt for me this year. Also gifs.

Atomic bomb of the year: The Untamed (2019)

The show that altered the chemistry of my brain completely and threw me into an obsession so serious I pulled several people down with me (you're welcome and I am sorry). A chinese fantasy drama that centers around a young man who wants to do what's right even if it costs him everything (and it does), and his soulmate who loved him through two lifetimes. Censored bl that feels zero censored because of the brilliancy and hard work of the cast and crew. Clearly a labour of love for everyone involved. Impossible to water down into a blurb, watch it and you'll understand.

Love blorbo of my life: Li Lianhua

No one else made me fall as deeply as Li Lianhua of Mysterious Lotus casebook (2023). This cynical, too clever, highly whumpable lying liar got me in a chokehold and has yet to let go. His love language is to push people away, but thankfully some people are hard to get rid of. Deserves to be lovingly wrapped in a blanket and fed chocolate until his sadness passes (or possibly forever).

The one I never thought I would love: DMBJ/Lost Tomb franchise (2016-2024)

Hi, hello, what the hell happened? This show kinda took over my life and I am seriously confused (standard dmbj experience). One of the queerest shows I've ever laid my eyes on featuring one of china's most famous m/m ships; Pingxie. Filled to bursting with adventure, conspiracies, tomb shenanigans, snakes and the best character dynamics I've ever seen on the small screen. Don't expect everything to make sense, just enjoy the ride. It's a hoot.

I cried my face off because of this: Fangs of Fortune (2024)

This made me suffer from dehydration, flailing arms with feet kicking, and severe gif-making-syndrome. Stunning Chinese fantasy with characters that will unapologetically roundhouse kick you in the heart. Repeatedly. Very queer and doesn't even try not to be. Did I say stunning? The cinematography and costumes are so fucking beautiful that this alone brings tears to your eyes. Just watch it, I can't possibly explain what it's about without starting to cry again.

Has a dear and special place in my heart: Oh no! Here comes trouble (2023)

So well written I want to chug vinegar because I didn't write it myself. Some of the best character dynamics known to man, fantastic stories told with a supernatural twist and (you guessed it) queer vibes that will smack you in the face. Has a wonderfully dumb and grumpy ml that will make you love him unconditionally in a very short amount of time. The drama deals with heavy topics, like grief and abuse, and balances it out delicately with ridiculousness and humour.

Favorite BL: History 3: trapped (2019)

The cutest little twink police falls in love with the mob boss he's been trying to catch for four years. Adorable low-spicy Taiwanese bl that utilizes the often seen het-romance drama tropes in a low key hilarious and endearing way. Enemies to lovers? Uhuh. Grumpy/sunshine? Mhm. Catch the love interest in your arms as they trip and fall? Yup. Everything wrapped in soft romantic lighting as you stare into each other's eyes? Yesss. And do i love it? FUCK YEAH. Actually does have a pretty solid plot as well, which made it a real home run for me.

Underrated gem: 19th Floor (2024)

A less queer version of Spirealm (but watch me try and find every queer crumb in it if it kills me). Got me on the edge of my seat most of the time, had characters I loved dearly with great development, adorable bromance with cheek smooches, and het-romance that didn't make me want to scratch my face off. FL kicks serious ass and is allowed to be unapologetically herself throughout the whole show. Also this show has Bai Shu and that is always a win.

[musings-of-a-rose]

I'll Always Wait For You - Chapter 18 (Final Chapter)

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Word Count: 6900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Well, this is it. The final chapter. I’m feeling very emotional about this one, as these 2 are my babies. This fic was the second thing I ever started writing AND my first series. I started it in November of 2021 and now I’m ending it in June of 2023. Thank you to everyone who has read it, left comments, reblogged it, talked about it off of Tumblr (I am still FLOORED that this has happened!). This is what keeps people creating. Even if you think you have nothing important to say, or if all you say is just a keyboard mash of letters, I can promise you ALL of it means the world to us. So I dedicate this fic to you, the reader. You’re the real star here and I can’t express my love enough. If you’re ever wanting more, I am always down to write one shots, drabbles, character insights, what ifs, etc for this fic (and any of my others).

Now excuse me while I go cry

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

I'll Always Wait For You Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

<&lt;Chapter 17

“You look so beautiful!” Olivia gushes over you after she tucks the last braid into place, watching you stand and do a little twirl in your white dress.

“You think so? It’s not too much?”

“Too much? Girl, it’s your wedding day. You can’t be too much!”

Smiling, you smooth out your dress as you take in your reflection. You’re marrying Frankie. Your Frankie. Frankie, whom you’ve been in love with since you were 19. This is real. It’s happening.

Ok, technically, in the eyes of the law, it happened a few weeks ago at a courthouse. But there’s something special about gathering in front of your close friends and family, wearing a beautiful dress, and getting to repeat those vows in front of everyone. A soft knock at the door brings you out of your head and Olivia walks across the room to peak her head outside. 

“Mosa, it’s the photographer. Are you ready for the first look?”

“It’s HERmosa!” Frankie’s muffled yell comes from behind the door and Olivia smirks. 

One last glance in the mirror at your reflection and you nod, turning your back towards the door. You hear some shuffling as Frankie is ushered in backwards and the photographers get into place. 

“Turn in 3..2..1..Turn!” Olivia says and then steps back.

You turn, your eyes finding his almost immediately, as if they were drawn there. He’s dressed in a tailored suit, fitting his form perfectly, his grandfather’s kerchief folded and poking from the pocket. But what you’re really interested in is his face, his eyes growing wider and glossier the longer he looks at you.

“Hermosa, you…you’re beautiful,” Frankie says, awestruck.

“You’re just figuring that out?” You say behind a smile.

“No, I mean I always knew but…wow.”

He walks up to you and cups your cheek, running his thumb across it as Olivia hisses something about makeup from the corner of the room. But you couldn’t care less. Frankie was here, marrying you. This is all you’ve dreamt of for well over 10 years. A tear runs down Frankie’s cheek and you wipe it away.

“Are you ok?”

He sniffs and smiles. “I’m the best I’ve felt in a long time. I just…I only wish we would’ve done this sooner.”

“We did. We got married in the courthouse, remember?” 

He smiles at you. “I meant more that we never…that we stayed together since that first kiss.”

“Me too. But we can’t dwell on what-ifs. We can only think about the here-and-nows.”

Frankie tips your chin up and presses a light kiss to your lips, the clicks from the camera going crazy. You pose for photos for several minutes before Olivia ushers everyone from the room, winking at you when she says she’ll give you 10 minutes of alone time before she came to get you. The second the door closes, Frankie pushes his tongue in your mouth, pulling you as close as he can. 

“I can’t mess this dress up, Frankie,” You say pouting.

“That’s ok. I can work with that.” Frankie grips your hips and spins you around, bending you over the back of the chair and clasping a hand to your mouth as he takes you, your hands desperately trying to reach behind you to pull him in closer. 

15 minutes later, Olivia knocks on the door and enters hesitantly, smirking when she sees you smoothing down your dress, Frankie’s face more pink than when she had left. 

“It’s time,” she says, tossing her thumb over her shoulder and looking at Frankie pointedly. He turns to you and kisses your cheek.

“See you out there?”

“Raging sharks couldn’t keep me away.” 

He kisses you once more before Olivia starts clearing her throat. When he straightens up a curl falls on his forehead and you softly push it back to where it was, feeling Frankie’s eyes on you the entire time. He opens the door and looks outside befire turning back to you. 

“Your gift is here.”

“You don’t have to get me a gift, Frank-”

Santi walks through the door, dressed in a nice tux and smiling from ear to ear. You hadn’t seen him since the day he confessed his love for you and you had missed him terribly. Frankie was your best friend, but Santi was a close second and you’d hated the idea of getting married without him there.

“Santi?”

“Hey, Hermosa.”

You catch a glimpse of Frankie’s smile before he closes the door as you wrap your arms around Santi, feeling him squeeze you back just as hard. Separating a few moments later, you dab under your eyes as you try to choke back tears. 

“If I smudge my makeup, Olivia may kill me.”

Santi laughs. “She’s Benny’s girl, right? She’s perfect for him.”

“She’s really great…but how are you here?”

“I uh…Frankie called me a few weeks ago and told me…well, everything. I’m sorry I was screening my calls, Hermosa. I just…I needed time.”

“I understand. But…you’re here now! Are you ok?”

“I’m doing alright, Hermosa. Actually, pretty good.”

“You’ll have to tell me all about her.”

He laughs. “I will. But uh, hey - do you need a Man of Honor? If…if that would…be ok?”

“I would love to have to as my Man of Honor! But…Benny already agreed and I don’t know how to tell him -”

Santi waves his hand. “Benny was in on this. He knows and already said it was ok with him as long as you wanted it.”

Your eyes go wide. “Wait. Benny knew you were coming and he didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah.”

You gasp. “That bitch!”

Santi laughs his hardest yet. “So…”

“Let’s go, Man of Honor.”

The next thing you know, Frankie’s kissing you, everyone whooping and cheering, Aurelia throwing more flower petals into the air as they announce “Mr. and Mrs. Morales.” The rest of the night was like a blur, between photos and eating, first dances and cake, you barely had time to sit until things started to wind down long into the night. When you tried to help clean up, Olivia literally slapped your hand away and glared at you.

“Absolutely not. Benny!” He walks over and play groans when she says she’s recruited him to help clean up. She pretends to twist his nipple when he starts to complain and he yelps, high pitched and smiling as they play fight for a few moments before he gives in, grabbing plates and stacking them to wash. 

Frankie looks exhausted and he’s limping a little, so you beg him to not carry you over the threshold. “You did that when we got courthouse married.”

“Yeah but-”

“No. I’m not having you throw your hip out on our wedding day. Not from this.”

He chokes and smiles, giving in, a dark twinkle in his eye. “Alright. If you insist.” But by the time you’d made it upstairs and gotten your clothes off, both of you were too exhausted to do much of anything aside from a shower and literally fall into bed. But Frankie made up for lost time the next morning, waking you with what he claims was already your third orgasm of the day, his curls mussed up from being buried between your legs. He presses his body to yours, swallowing your whimpers before he adds his own, hips shaking with release. 

You spend your honeymoon at the Miller family cabin upstate, the only clothing you wear being one of Frankie’s shirts and sometimes his hat, which drives him wild. He celebrates another sobriety milestone while there, smiling wide at your praise. When you get back home, you can see he has an extra pep in his step, always a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, always wanting to touch you, whether a hand to your wrist, a touch to your lower back, or a smack on your ass, chuckling as you yelp and smack him back. When you ask him why he looks exceptionally happy, he credits you. “I finally got the girl of my dreams, the love of my life.”

—-

Frankie and you settle into a comfortable routine. You were no strangers to living together, the adjustment taking no time at all. Life goes on as normal, except now, you get to live it with Frankie, no longer separated by a stupid argument, misconceptions, or a bitch of an ex wife. This was exactly where you were meant to be. 

Several months later, Frankie follows you into the family restroom at Target, slinging your purse over his shoulder as he rifles through the bag of stuff you’d just purchased.

“Pink dye first, right?” He asks, raising his eyebrows as he looks at you.

“Yeah. They’re more accurate supposedly.” 

Frankie tears open the box and studies the directions, as if he hadn’t done this several times already. He opens one of the sticks and hands it to you, turning around to give you a little privacy. 

“Start the timer,” you say as you zip up your pants. Frankie hits go on his timer and turns to face you, a pregnancy stick held face down in your hand. He can see your nerves, your worry and concern on your face.

“It’ll be ok, Hermosa.”

“Yeah I know. But what if it isn’t?”

“It will be-”

“We’ve been trying for months, Frankie. I know the OB said to try for a year before fertility testing but-”

Frankie walks up to you and pulls you to him, applying a gentle pressure as he hugs you close, kissing the side of your head. “If it’s negative, then we keep trying, ok? It hasn’t been a year yet and sometimes these things take time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Will told me that it took them months to conceive Liam. And they were trying too. Just…breathe. In….out…”

You breathe with him for a few breaths. “You always were annoyingly calm in a crisis.”

He smiles. “Wouldn’t help to freak out behind the joystick.” 

You open your mouth to reply, but his timer cuts you off. Your mouth jams shut, nerves taking over your body as Frankie holds your gaze. 

“If it says negative, we can keep trying. Remember that. I love you no matter what, Hermosa.” You nod, taking a deep breath. “Ready?”

“Ready.” You flip the test over and look, 2 bright pink lines staring back at you. Tears immediately fall as you laugh, turning the test around to show Frankie, who yells, grabbing you up in his arms and hugging you tightly. He kisses you for a moment, pressing his forehead to yours. 

“I fucking love you, Hermosa.”

“I love you, Frankie.”

He yanks the door open and whoops loudly, people turning to look at him as you follow him out of the bathroom. 

“I’m going to be a father again!” He pumps his fists in the air, smiling from ear to ear as people cheer, clapping and congratulating you as they finish their purchases, one older couple handing you a gift card on their way out, telling you to spoil that baby. 

—-

Frankie was hesitant at first with your pregnancy, despite being so supportive and actually wanting a child with you. A couple months in, you finally ask him why he seems afraid to touch you, that you won’t break. He finally confesses to you that when Elizabeth was pregnant, she did nothing but yell at him, belittling him and wouldn’t let him touch her at all, not her belly, not even to rub her back or feet. She called him horrible names and would blame it on the hormones. Your heart breaks for him and you have no words. Well, you have words but they aren’t nice ones. Instead, you sit next to him on the bed, leaning back onto one arm, and take his hand with the other, gently placing it on your lower belly. His eyes light up as he looks at your tiny for the moment bump, tears welling in his eyes as he brings his other hand up to take the other side. He pulls your shirt up just enough to see your belly skin, giving it a tiny kiss.

“Hey, little one. You grow strong in there and don’t give your mom too much of a hard time.”

From then on, Frankie is all in. Whatever you need, he gets it, even if it’s a ridiculous request at 3am. He’s constantly touching your growing belly, talking to it as much as you do. He finds Aurelia’s old crib in the attic, a few boxes of baby stuff and a bassinet up there as well. He sets up the nursery under your instruction, letting Aurelia help with the decorations when she comes on the weekends. You decide to wait to find out the sex of the baby, thinking it would be something fun to do. So instead you call it “Bean”.

“Think Bean will like this?” Frankie asks, pointing to a baby swing. 

“They might, but Frankie, that swing is nearly $150. We can’t afford that.”

His shoulder’s slump but he agrees. “Maybe we can check the thrift shop. It’s the one thing Will didn’t toss our way.”

He was there for all of the classes too, birthing ones, breathing ones, even the hypnobirthing ones. He signed up for a “birthing partners” class, learning the best ways to support you not just during labor and delivery, but during the 4th trimester, or immediately postpartum. He helped you practice your meditations, making sure you had everything you needed and that you remember to take your prenatal and drink enough water. 

When you’re 8 months pregnant, getting winded from walking down the hall, Frankie gets a call from his boss at Flyboyz on his day off, asking him to come in. He grabs his hat and gives you a quick kiss before leaving, reminding you to drink water. He’d been working a lot lately, trying to make extra money so he can stay home with you and the baby for the first month. You’re not sure how long he’ll be gone, so you plop yourself down on your bed, pulling over the basket of baby clothes that still have to be sorted and you get to work, separating the sizes, long sleeve vs short, nightgowns from onesies. A couple hours later, the front door opens and Frankie slams it behind him, the picture frames rattling on the walls. You set aside the footie pajamas you were folding and go to stand up, but Frankie comes storming into the bedroom before you can move, anger coming off of him in waves.

“Frankie?”

He yanks his hat from his head, tossing it onto his dresser, knocking some things off of it. “I can’t fucking believe her!”

Struggling a little, you manage to get up and cross the room to him, placing your hand on his mid back. He recoils, anger flashing in his eyes but it’s not directed at you. Unsure of what happened, you know he needs to calm down before he can tell you. You grab an ice cube out of your glass of water and turn to Frankie.

“Give me your hand.”

He looks at you, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Just do it.”

He stares at you for a moment before shoving his hand out. You flip it palm up, opening his fingers and place the ice cube in his palm. He yelps, but you hold his hand firmly so he won’t drop the ice.

“What the fuck, Hermosa?”

“The cold will help reset your nervous system.”

“I don’t think- it’s too fucking cold, Hermosa.”

“Just another few seconds.”

His chest, which had been heaving a moment ago, has slowed down, the anger still there but at a manageable level. You tip his hand and grab the falling ice into your own palm, putting it in the sink in the bathroom before coming back to the bed and trying to sit on it. Frankie is there, taking your hand and helping you into bed. He goes to stand but you squeeze his hand and pull him until he sighs, sitting on the edge, his shoulders slumped.

“How do you feel?”

“Fucking angry, but…the edge is gone. Ice…who fucking knew?”

“So..may I ask what happened?”

His eyes darken with repressed outrage. “I thought I was getting extra work. Instead, my pilot’s license has been suspended, pending a review.”

You sit up quickly, eyes going wide. “What??”

He nods, his jaw clenching. “Apparently, someone made a claim that I was using when I flew some clients and now they have to investigate.”

You knew that Frankie had been clean over a year, that he wasn’t using at all. “Oh, Frankie. Wait..who made the claim?”

He looks at you. “It was anonymous but I know it was Elizabeth.” He says her name with absolute disgust and hate that you nearly pull back from him. 

“Elizabeth? Would she-”

“Oh come on, Hermosa. You don’t think it was her? I’ve been clean for well over a year. She’s the only one who would have known that I used that would make claims.”

“What about Rick?”

Frankie shakes his head. “Nah. He left Flyboyz while you were…out of town. I told him he had to leave or I would report him for selling. He started to threaten to bring me down with him, but then remembered you were…not in my life and he could see the rock bottom in me, I guess. So he backed off, just left to go elsewhere. There’s no way it’s him. It’s her. It’s always her causing shit. I’m so fucking sick of it!”

Placing a hand on his back, you start to rub it, adding in little scratches here and there like he likes. “She is a bitch.”

“I just got my license back. I worked so hard on that.” He puts his face in his hands, resting his elbows on his legs. You scoot towards him wrapping your arm around him. 

“I know you did. But you said suspended? That doesn’t mean revoked, right?”

He shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t.”

“So…what does it mean?”

“It means, I can’t fly until it’s reinstated. I have to pee in a cup at random times during the week for 6 months to prove I’m clean before they will lift the suspension.”

“Well there you go!”

He looks up at you, his eyebrows pulling together. “There I go, what? We can’t afford for me to not have this income, Hermosa.”

“We’ll be ok-”

“You’re about to have a baby. Your income won’t happen for a bit, and that’s fine, but we needed this extra money and now I can’t provide that. All because of my bitch of an ex!”

“Frankie, we’ll be ok. If we have to borrow money, we can.”

“I’m not borrowing money.”

“Fine. Then I will borrow it.”

“No, I’ll…I’ll figure something out.”

“Frankie-”

“Just…can we just stop for tonight? I’m trying to process this.”

You open your mouth to argue but then see the exhausted look on his face. “Sure. Why don’t you come talk to us? That always makes you feel better.”

Leaning back against the headboard, you watch as Frankie scoots up the bed, getting level with your belly as you turn on your side so you’re not being squished. He chats to the baby for a while, about everything and nothing and by the time he’s done, his shoulders are relaxed and he’s not as angry anymore. 

Elizabeth never fully admits to being the one to make the claim, but you see the look on her face through the car window when you make your next exchange for Aurelia after Frankie confronts her and you know she did it. There’s nothing you can say or do except wait it out. Frankie getting his license back will be all the revenge you’ll need.

—---- (Skip to the next line if you don’t want to read about labor. It’s not terribly graphic at all, but I know it’s not everyone’s thing)-------

“I never thought I’d have to beg you to have sex with me!” You stomp your foot, furious that Frankie won’t follow the doctor’s advice. 

It had been a few weeks since his license was revoked and you were a week past your due date and not happy about it.

“Hermosa, I don’t-”

“Want to hurt me, I know, I know. But the midwife even said that sex is the best way to induce labor because of the prostaglandins in your semen.”

“You make it sound so sexy.”

“Frankie,” you pinch the bridge of your nose, taking a deep sigh. “I am the size of a house. I am miserable and sweaty and I haven’t seen my feet in months and I just want to have this baby already. If it’s my belly, I can turn around-”

“You are fucking gorgeous.”

“Then please?”

Frankie studies you for a long moment, his shoulders starting to slump and that’s when you knew you had him. “Alright, fine. We can try it. But we’re going slow, taking our time, ok?”

“No arguments here.”

Contractions started within an hour of Frankie cumming inside of you. You weren’t sure at first what you were feeling, but it sort of felt like a bad period cramp, so you assumed this must be it. Frankie timed them all for you, helping you breathe as they got more intense and closer together, and when they were close enough apart, Frankie helped you to his truck and drove to the hospital. In between contractions, you watched him as he drove, expertly winding his way through traffic, a look of focus on his face, a little furrow between his brow the only indication that this was not a normal day behind the wheel. How lucky you were to have this man, who can be calm in stressful situations, want to spend his life with you. 

“What?” Frankie glances sideways at you before turning back to the road.

“You’re cute when you focus.”

A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “Remember how cute I am when you’re in transition.”

Before you know it, you’re in a labor and delivery room, barely spending any time in triage before they whisked you away. Hospitals can be a frustrating place to have a baby. Each nurse walks in and tells you to rest between contractions, try to get some sleep when you can, but then a new nurse comes along within an hour, always rousing you from sleep to take your blood pressure or put their fingers where you didn’t want them. You’d finally had enough of the latter and told a nurse to kindly fuck off, and denied internal exams unless it was a medical emergency. Frankie was by your side the entire labor, putting counter pressure on your hips when you needed it, pulling your hair from your face, sneaking you snacks because they forbid food and you said you’d chomp off your own fingers if they didn’t let you eat. Transition was hard, but all of a sudden, you knew it was time to push. Following your body, you get on all fours, taking your calming breaths, but then realizing that Frankie was not next to you. Turning your head, you see him, wide eyed and backing towards the door.

“I’ll just-” He points his thumb over his shoulder at the door.

“No, please. I need you here with me.” Another contraction has you breathing again and it’s a minute before he replies.

“You want me here?”

“Yes. I need you, Frankie.” 

His eyes start to water over and it doesn’t occur to you then, but later that night it’l come to you - he wasn’t trying to dodge out of the delivery. He was having a flashback to when Elizabeth kicked him out of the room right when Aurelia was making her way into the world, and your heart hurt all over again. Frankie is at your side in an instant, turning to yell for the nurse who had surprisingly not come in for some random check.

“No time!” You yell, letting out a low groan, a technique you learned to help move baby down and out. Frankie’s face slides into focus mode and he moves behind you, just in time to catch the baby as it comes sliding out. He gathers the baby up, holding it close as it screams into the world. The nurse comes running in then, having heard the baby crying as you turn onto your back, arms outstretched to hold your baby, skin to skin.

“Baby is here! I didn’t even know you were transitioning! You were pretty quiet.”

The nurse bustles around and does her thing while Frankie transfers the baby to your bare chest. Tears stream down your face as you look at Frankie, who has tears of his own. He kisses the top of your head. “I am so proud of you, Hermosa.”

A few moments pass, the baby calming against your chest. “Hey Frankie? Is the baby a boy or girl?”

He slaps his hand to his forehead. “I forgot to look! I was so focused on catching the baby and whether it was breathing and not dropping it that I don’t think I looked! Here.” He lifts the hip of the baby and smiles.

“We have a son. I have a son!”

—---No more labor/delivery details—---

Luis Christian Francisco Morales was born perfect. 10 little fingers and 10 little toes, skin glowing. He was the perfect combination of you both, although you say he favors Frankie mostly. 

You both settle into your roles as new parents, a lot of it being new to Frankie too, since Elizabeth had denied him so much. He was determined to not miss out on things this time, making sure you both had everything you needed and watching Luis when he stayed awake between feeds so you could have a nap. Aurelia cries the first time she sees Luis, big ugly sobs, and when Frankie finally calms her down enough to ask what’s wrong, she simply says “He…he’s…s-so so cute!” She happily takes up the mantle of “Big Sister” when she’s with you. Once, you wake from your nap only to find all 3 of them sleeping, Luis curled up on Frankie’s broad chest, Aurelia tucked onto his other side. You snap a photo and then quietly leave the room, taking the time to actually shower. 

About a month in, Frankie comes back from dropping Aurelia with her mom. His eyebrows were pulled together in confusion as he stares down at his phone.

“Everything ok?” You ask, shifting the bottle you were feeding Luis with so it was a better angle.

“Yeah. Uh…Santi just texted me.”

“Oh yeah? Everything ok?”

“Uh..he says congrats on Luis, that he’s the cutest, and that he was out of service for a bit and he’s sorry he didn’t text earlier.”

“That’s ok. I know he’s busy.”

Frankie is quiet for a moment. “He offered me some work.”

“Work?”

“Well, not just me. Benny, Will, and Tom too.”

“What kind of work?” When he doesn’t answer, you look up at him. He kicks his shoes off and sits next to you on the couch. 

“Consulting.” His eyes don’t meet yours, focusing instead on his fingers, where he starts to pick at the skin around his nails.

“Consulting.” You say in disbelief. 

“Yeah.”

“Wait, like a mission?”

Frankie shrugs. “No? I mean, it’s just scoping out a place and looking for weaknesses. We give our report to the government he works with and then come back. Easy peasy.” 

��If it’s so easy peasy, why aren’t you looking at me?”

He takes a deep breath and let’s it out slowly before looking at you. “It’s for a week. Just trying to find holes in a fence.”

“And why do they need you?”

“They need a pilot.”

“You don’t have your license.”

“It probably doesn’t matter over there.”

“Frankie, I don’t-”

“I’ts $17k, Hermosa. We need the money.”

“I don’t like it. So much can go wrong. Who’s house is it? Definitely no one that’s a stand up citizen. What happens if they find you first? No, I don’t like it.”

“Just..he’s coming to town tomorrow and we’re going to chat about it at Benny’s fight. Let me ask some more questions.”

“I don’t like it, Frankie.”

“I know. Just..let me talk to Pope.”

—----

It’s late the next night and you start to pace the floor of your bedroom, wondering when he’ll be back. He’d texted you to tell you Benny had won the fight and they were stopping at the bar for a quick drink before Olivia takes him home to play nurse. 

That had been 2 hours ago.

The door finally opens downstairs and you quietly make your way to the kitchen, where you were hearing Frankie move around. 

“Did I wake you?”

You shake your head. “I was awake. Luis is asleep.”

“Good, good. He go down ok?”

“Yeah, actually in his bassinet, but Frankie? How did it go?” 

He gets a glass of water, chugging half of it before setting the glass down on the counter. “It’s just a recce. No live fire.”

“There’s a possibility of people shooting at you??”

“I mean, we are casing a place. It’s always possible if guards see you or-”

“No.”

He looks at you. “Hermosa, we need the money.”

“No.”

“I don’t have a job. We need this.”

“No money is worth your life, Frankie. None of your lives.”

“I won’t be in any major danger. I’ve done worse.”

“Yeah but you didn’t have a family then.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No. No, I don’t like this, no.”

Frankie puts his hands on his hips, cocking one hip back as he looks at you. “We’re behind on bills.”

“So? I’ll borrow some money and you can stay.”

“Hermosa-”

“Or I can get another job? A new client. I can-”

“You just had a baby, so no.”

“Then I can-”

“Hermosa.” He says it firmly, that hip still cocked back as his eyes find yours, resolve in them.

“You’ve…you’ve already said yes, haven’t you?”

His tongue comes out to swipe across his bottom lip. “We leave Thursday.”

Silence stretches between you both as you stare at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe you made that decision without me.”

“I made the decision for us. We need the money.”

“Oh, fuck you and the money! I said I could borrow it. You’re just being stubborn!”

“I’m taking responsibility! We needed money and this just happens to come our way? I have to take it.”

“So you’re saying it’s fate that Santi texted you to lure you down there with the promise of $17k? You’re telling me that it’s just consulting and nothing else? Can you promise me that?”

He shrugs. “That was the original deal.”

“But can you promise me?”

He studies you for a moment, his eyes lingering on yours. “I’m going, Hermosa.”

And with that, you turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen, closing the door behind you, wishing you could slam it. 

The next couple days were torture. You kept trying to convince Frankie to stay, convince all of them to stay. You didn’t want any of them going. But they all said the same thing that Frankie said. “It’s just consulting.” Thursday morning, Tom comes to pick up Frankie pretty early. He leans over to kiss you in bed and you take one more shot at trying to get him to stay. Your fingers wind into his curls as you pull him to you, deepening the chaste kiss he had started. 

“You can still stay,” you say, your voice barely a whisper.

“I’ll be back in a week, Hermosa. I love you.”

Tears streaming down your face, you reply. “I love you too. Please don’t die. Don’t any of you die.”

Frankie chuckles. “We’ll be fine. I’ll call you in a couple of days once we’re settled, ok?”

—----

Except, Frankie did not call in a couple of days. Neither did any of the others, nor had they reached out to Stacy, Molly, or Olivia. There was no one to call, no contact. They needed it that way for whatever consultation they were on. Stacey brought the kids over and Olivia came too, all of you opting to stay together and support each other at least during the day. As the few days stretched into a week, which stretched into nearly another, Olivia split her time between you and Stacy’s, offering to watch the kids so you each could have a moment to yourselves. She was at Stacy’s tonight, Luis snuggled and tucked in beside you as you channel surf the tv, landing on nothing in particular. It was day 10 and about 2am so all of the infomercials were on. You landed on one for some random kitchen gadget when your phone rings. You jump, grabbing for your phone to quickly hit the silent button before it wakes Luis. It was an unknown number, but definitely foreign and so you pick up right away.

“Frankie?”

“Hermosa,” he breathes a sigh of relief, his voice wavering on the last syllable of your name. 

“Are you ok? Is everyone alright? Fuck, I’ve been terrified out of my mind.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Things got…out of hand. I can explain more when I get home.”

“I understand. But you’re ok?”

“I’m ok. A little banged up but ok.”

“Everyone else?”

The way he’s silent has your throat closing up, making it difficult to speak. “Frankie?”

“It’s Tom.”

While Tom and you never were best friends, there’s no way you would’ve wished death on the man, nor would you have wanted to have his girls without a father. 

—----

Frankie’s mom takes Luis while you drive to the airport, there to pick up Frankie as Olivia and Stacy were going to get Benny and Will. You had experienced all of the emotions these past 10 days, mostly anger and fear, but when you heard his voice, a part of you caved. You just wanted him home and were grateful that he was alive.

You spot Benny first, towering over a majority of the crowd as people file out security and head towards baggage claim. Then you see it - a dark blue standard heating oil cap bobbing next to Benny and suddenly, you’re running, pushing people out of the way as you run towards him, Frankie seeing you at the last moment, dropping his bag to gather you in his arms, burying his face in your hair. Olivia and Stacy copy your actions, Will hissing when Stacy throws her arms around him. He mutters “I’m ok.” before pulling her to him. Pulling back, you look up into Frankie’s black brown eyes, taking in all the features of his face, his laugh lines, the spot where his one dimple pops up, the fact that he had the audacity to shave his beard. 

“You shaved,” you said simply, running a finger along his jawline.

“Yeah. But I’ll grow it back just for you.”

His lips crash to yours, his hands cupping the sides of your face as you press your body against his, fingers twisting in his shirt. 

“I’m still mad at you,” you breathe out between kisses.

“Fair enough.”

Hugs were exchanged all around before everyone went to their homes. On the drive home, Frankie tells you everything, how it was just a consult but then they decided to try and do it themselves, how it would’ve all been fine if they hadn’t missed their window, or if Tom had listened when he said it was too much weight for the helicopter. 

“Wait..you crashed?” 

“Yeah. It was just a little crash.”

“Frankie!”

“It’s me. I landed us…mostly fine. We all walked away.”

He explains about the money and the people from the village, and how they had to trek up the fucking Andes mountains and down the other side. How a young man from the village had wanted revenge and got it, dying himself in the process. How they carried Tom down the side of the mountain, leaving a ton of money there, only to make it to safety and come back with a new chopper to get the money and safely make it back in a whole other country, which is where he called you from. By the end of the story you’re silent, tears quietly falling down your face as you realize how easily they all could’ve died on the side of those mountains. How one of them did. 

“We each put about $5mil in a trust fund for Tom’s girls, made sure Molly was taken care of. It’s what Tom would’ve wanted and it’s…it’ll never be enough.”

“Hey,” you squeeze his thigh and he looks at you, tears on his cheeks. “You are not to blame. Every one of you knew what you were doing, knew there were risks. And while I can’t say who shot first as I wasn’t there, Frankie, it was self defense. And, I’m sorry, but knowing you and knowing Tom? I’d bet money on him shooting first.”

Frankie nods. “Yeah I guess so…. are you mad at me still?”

“I was all prepared to be so pissed at you, but honestly? I’m just glad to have you here and alive.”

Frankie spends the next hour between your legs and you spend the hour after that washing his hair and tending to his arguably minor wounds. Once you were clean and dressed, you made him something to eat, as you’d have to go get Luis shortly. When you set his glass of water down, he grips your wrist, pulling you into his lap.

“How are you feeling? Do you need to call your sponsor?”

He shakes his head. “Surprisingly, no. I think I’m just so grateful to be alive. And there’s one more thing.”

“What?” You ask nervously.

Frankie leans in closer, speaking low in your ear. “We got the rest of the money.”

“The $17k?” You said stupidly.

Frankie smiles and shakes his head. “A lot more than $17k.”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“Millions, Hermosa. Each. Millions. We’re set for life, as are Luis and Aurelia.”

“Can we stay here?”

Frankie chuckles. “What?”

“I don’t want some giant mansion. I want to stay here. In our house.”

Frankie smiles and kisses you lightly. “We can do whatever you want to.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Besides take care of my family?”

“Besides that.”

“Once I get my license reinstated, I want to start my business.” His eyes light up as he talks about it, how he had already looked into getting retired choppers, and had gathered up some possible contacts, even scouted out some property. The only thing that had stopped him was the money, which was no longer an issue. 

—----

6 months later, Frankie’s license gets reinstated, the owner clapping him on the shoulder and apologizing for everything. A month later, Frankie opens Chopperz, his veteran owned and operated helicopter tour business. It’s a instant success - apparently people really want to experience flying in various retired military equipment being flown by actual veterans. He even has repeat customers, although a lot of them are women and you catch more than one of them blushing when he talks to them. 

Will and Stacy build a new house, much bigger to fit their expanding family, ecstatic that they were finally having a girl. He quits giving speeches almost immediately, staying home with his family and helping Frankie out when he needs it. 

Benny and Olivia confessed that they had actually gotten married the day after Benny’s last fight, not able to wait any longer. When he came home, they took off to travel the world while their dream house was being built just down the road from Frankie and Will. 

Santi went to Australia to find Yovanna and her brother, following them around until they got settled. He and Yovanna stayed together for a while, and he took some time for himself, wandering the world to see things when he wasn’t in a uniform. He eventually came back, building a house down the road from Frankie and the Millers. But to his first get together with everyone, he brought a girl, which wouldn’t have surprised anyone, but you could see the way he looked at her, constantly touching her lightly, pressing kisses to her head, shoulder, lips, anywhere he could. And she was doing the same, her eyes lighting up every time they looked at each other, so when you asked him later, away from everyone else, he scratches the back of his neck and admits that he thinks she’s the one, that she gets him, understands him, and doesn’t give a flying fuck about his money, which she didn’t even know about until now.  

Frankie and you were finally happy, after all these years. Elizabeth finally stopped her shit, leaving you and Frankie to be happy and only communicating when it regards Aurelia. Instead of moving, you decide to expand your house, adding another couple of bedrooms because you want to eventually expand your family. Frankie is beyond happy, smiling at Luis and Aurelia as they run around their new treehouse in the backyard, feeling you wrap your arms around him from behind, kissing his broad back before moving to stand next to him, his arm around your shoulder as you both watch your kids.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask, turning your head up to him.

“How happy I am. How I wish we had started this all sooner, that it didn’t take such a shitty road to get here, and that it didn’t take us this long.”

You reach up and cup his face, pulling him to you as you kiss him, his soft lips lightly nibbling at yours. 

“I’ll always wait for you, Frankie.”

—----  

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[swaps55]

Hello! Happy N7 Day!

I've been waffling for about three weeks on how to word this, but the N7 Day/posting the first chapter of Mezzo combination made me say, "fuck it, just go ahead and incoherently gush."

To put it plainly: your Opus!Universe fics are some of the best fanworks I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Not just for Mass Effect, in GENERAL. I've only read a couple handfuls of fic over the years where I was sucker punched in the gut by how good they were, and not only did you manage to do it once, you managed to do it FOUR TIMES. The sheer amount of love you have for all your characters, both the ones from the game and your OCs, is so blatantly apparent, and it makes them a joy to read about. They're extremely well-realized and I'm only getting more and more invested in them as the story goes on.

I've been playing the Mass Effect series for two-thirds of my life, since well before game two was released. It is, and will forever be, one of the most important things to me, and every now and then I stumble across a fanwork that reminds me of how I felt playing through it for the first time. I love knowing that something I care about so deeply inspires the same levels of creativity and passion in others that it did for me, in many ways even more so.

Sam, Kaidan, and the 'Yang gang will always have a corner of my Mass-Effect-loving heart now, and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing them with all of us. I hope you are unbelievably proud of what you've written, because you absolutely deserve to be. You've got an ardent fan in me for sure. (I love all the Opus fics, but Cantata's always going to have a special place in my heart. I read it twice within the past month, that's how much of a chokehold it had on me. It's so fantastic)

I am so, so, SO unbelievably excited to read Mezzo. I can't wait to see your take on ME2.

Ahhhhh, thank you so much! What an INCREDIBLE message to wake up to!!!

It's such a privilege to get to write this story and share it, and I am consistently blown away that Sam, Kaidan, and the 'Yang Gang mean so much to others. Sam is this lovable asshole who lives in my head and refuses to leave, and people want to hear about him. That's incredible! Cantata in particular was a fic that I figured would go largely unnoticed - it was too niche, too removed from the main canon events, and too reliant on characters no one knew. It means SO MUCH that it's your favorite.

No fictional world has ever captivated me as utterly and completely as Mass Effect. Having a community of people I can share that love with is so special.

Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to say this. <3

[writing-for-life]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗 (i don't know if you do these sorts of chain-letter things, or if you'd prefer not to, but for my part i do like to know which of their works a given author is especially hype on, so consider this an opportunity to gush!)

I was sweating for a moment there because I thought, “I’ve written all my life and even published, but I don’t have 5 fanfics, shit!”

And then I noticed… well, with a little bit of goodwill, I do. So thanks so much for asking, @stellerssong , and here comes the gushing:

The no. 1 has to be “The Light of Stars”.

I completed most of it during NaNoWriMo 2022 for a bit of fun and respite from other projects—and then did nothing with it. Until I thought, “Fuck it,” and started publishing it chapter by chapter, editing and tidying it up along the way.

It is a long fic, and I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m honestly proud of it. I put a lot of thought into characterisation and plot, keeping everyone in character (as much as aimed-for character development allowed, so certain OOC moments had to happen) and crafting an OC that works for what I was setting out to do. So much so that many people asked for a sequel, which I’m still in the process of writing (I completed the concept again last NaNoWriMo and wrote over 40,000 words back then, but progress has been slow since because… life).

I don’t want to give too much away here, but while it’s romance and there *is* more than enough sex (I write steamy romance professionally, albeit in my other language), this is really not what this one is mainly about. So it’s not one for people who look for thinly-disguised chapter-porn and super-explicit descriptions. It’s a novel with a fully developed arc, and it deals with topics like friendship, loss and grief. Someone told me though that it felt hopeful and they didn’t struggle with the broaching of those topics like in some other works, and that was probably the most wonderful thing anyone could ever have said to me.

I’ll choose “Snow Globes and Whisky” as my second, but only because it is a Christmas gift-type one-shot with the same characters.

You can, in theory, read it without knowing TLoS, but it just wouldn’t make sense. It’s just Christmas fluff, not incredibly deep (despite picking up on the friendship and loss-theme again), it was fun to write and to get Dream a little bit drunk (just because he was intrigued and allowed it of course 🤣).

Then there are Rachel and Johanna.

They have such a special place in my heart. I always wanted to tell their story because we never got it in the show—so I did. And as a bisexual woman, I am also Jo’s biggest stan. I desperately want her to be the Sandman-character who does away with bi-erasure once and for all (because if the onscreen love interest is female, everyone cheers, but bi m/f relationships never count in fandom because they’re “heteronormative”. Newsflash: We’re not “50% straight, 50% gay”. We have nuance and deep inner lives and different preferences that make up very personal identities, and we’re not some token queer representation that stops to exist once we’re in straight-passing relationships). We’ve seen her date a woman and she has tons of chemistry with Dream too—I want them to have the messiest affair ever and somehow have her take Thessaly’s place. But better. Because she’d protect Lyta for all the RIGHT reasons. There, I said it, and I’m not sorry. Anyway, that’s not what “As it Was Before the Otherness Came” is about. It’s sad and heartbreaking and canon-compliant. It just fills in the gaps. And again, I’m super-proud that someone in the comments said to tell Gaiman about it (we all know that’s not a thing for fanfic) because they thought it was so in character and well-written. Yes, I’m shamelessly blowing my own trumpet because you asked me to 🤣

Then there are my Inktober Haikus.

I still intend to turn them into a bound book with accompanying art one day (the latter is where it all falls down really because although I could, it would take me 1,000 years to create all the art myself). 31 poems, some more inspired than others, but they were a great creativity exercise, and I honestly love them for what they are.

And last but not least, from the serious to the totally unhinged: Muhulhu. Murphy and his Cool Hat. The crack ship of all crack ships, aka:

I set out to write a trilogy, the first part “By The Sea, I Mean In The Dreaming: A Comedy Prelude” is published, the second and third are currently in a vegetative state because I just can’t find the time to write and/or edit. And if I do, I prefer writing the TLoS sequel. Or metas. Or running silly fandom events 🤣 I’d love to write more fanfic, but between a full time job (or rather: three jobs that make up one) and a family, I just stare in awe at the people on here who produce constant output, because I honestly can’t. But I will get back to it eventually because that one is just sheer unhinged fun.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to flog my goods!

@stellerssong ask answered

[chargoeson]

to begin my noble quest of being more annoying (a neutral term for me meaning: efforts to be more outspoken about my interests)

i literally just want to make lists of shit i am into so you all can get a better feel for who i am and why i write what i do and hopefully find things in common <3

music: not to be that guy but i genuinely do listen to everything. though not in a "play whatever it's nbd," but in a "music has been a special interest of mine since childhood and i have made hours long multi-genre playlists every month since my senior year of high school" BUT some current favorites include: Blondshell Searows Elton John (and by extension George Michael, duh. friendship of the century. Elton just came first and led me to George) Simon and Garfunkel Faye Webster Dijon Eagles Feist The Sundays Prince Chappell Roan Gorillaz Fiona Apple i am cutting myself off now, but trust there are many more and they are swirling in my head at all times.

film similarly i have such a taste for movies that's all over the place and often go against people's perception of me (i am a lesbian with a philosophy minor whose primary focus was feminist theory and i fucking loves James Bond) but that's what makes it FUN! film and fiction in general is literally a playground. So this is gonna be a mix of specific movies and directors! James Bond (2006 Casino Royale is the best, you can fight me on this but i won't listen) Memento Only Yesterday and Porco Rosso (by Studio Ghibli) Emma (2020 version by Autumn de Wilde) But I'm a Cheerleader Say Anything Rocketman Kingsman: The Secret Service You've Got Mail The Usual Suspects Eyes Wide Shut and our newest addition, Saltburn <333 David Cronenberg (Crash and Dead Ringers especially) David Lynch (Fire Walk with Me and Blue Velvet especially)

tv let's just go simple here The X Files Twin Peaks The L Words Buffy The Vampire Slayer John Doe Bob's Burgers King of the Hill Futurama

literature listen, i have a lit degree but i am also who i am, so my favorite books are usually the last good ones i read. that being said, my most longstanding favorites and the authors i return to are: Haruki Murakami (1Q84, Norwegian Wood, After the Quake, etc. i have genuinely read 80% of this man's 50 years of writing at this point) Melissa Febos Sally Rooney James Baldwin Ottessa Moshfegh Oliver K. Langmead Iain Reid Sean Hewitt hobbies i collect 'em! acoustic and electric guitar crocheting, knitting, embroidering quilting jewelry making collaging indie perfume (i will no doubt be gushing about this more on this account because i also connect perfumes to my characters/projects and i have upwards of 100 scents in my collection) if you are still here you rock i have also thought of starting a youtube channel for literal years (like many of us late 90s-early 00s kids i have tried several times throughout the worst years of adolescence lol) to just talk about writing and also alllll of that. idk if it will happen but if it does think of this as a sort of primer!

[sagemonsters]

Heyo! It’s been a hot second since I’ve posted about any writing activity in my life—the end of my university semester + some familial troubles has really kept me away from my drafts—BUT I’m getting back into the swing of things! I have a new WIP that I’m hoping to finish the second draft of before my autumn semester starts on August 22nd.

The WIP doesn’t have a title for now, but is best described as “Dungeons & Dragons meets Indiana Jones meets monster romance” and is a cis male centaur x AMAB nonbinary human/elf hybrid romance novella. I’m hoping to publish it on Kindle and/or Smashwords once I’ve finished the draft and made all necessary edits.

The story takes place in a high fantasy setting inspired by the pre-Islamic Middle East and northern Africa. If I may gush… the setting itself is what made me fall in love with the story. I’ve been listening to the Fall of Civilizations YouTube channel and really vibing with the episode about the Nabatean civilization + looking at some stunning photography of the real-world Namib Desert along the west coast of southern Africa.

The first draft of this nameless WIP was set in a generic kitchen sink fantasy universe in the standard western European flavor, and I really didn’t click with it; even adding my favorite biome (temperate rainforest) as the backdrop for an important location didn’t make me have fun with what I was writing. However, once I changed the setting to something more geographically & culturally distinct, I started to enjoy it a lot more.

But characters are important too!

Taji Seventhborn is a linquist-mage who specializes in translating a variety of ancient languages into a variety of contemporary ones. They’re newly graduated from a thaumaturgic university in the (ofc fictional) city of Al-Darabous, and struggle with a mild anxiety disorder. Taji is the POV character for the entire novella.

I used the Baydews 2.0 picrew to make a portrait of them, which I’m not 100% happy with because it makes Taji look 14 rather than their actual age of 24. However, it’s still nice to have a visual representation of the character.

Cimitrius Firefoot is the centaur character and love interest. He’s a little older than Taji at 27 and is a warrior rather than a mage. He leads a band of adventurers, and was contracted by Lord Sindiso (along with Taji; that's how they meet) to guard an expedition searching for an ancient temple somewhere among the ghost-wracked dunes of Tindaalo Desert.

Excerpt below the cut!

Taji took a deep breath and looked around the Square. Even though dawn had not yet broken, there were plenty of people about. Veiled women filled pitchers with water from the fountain, their bangles tinkling as they moved, and the first wagons were being admitted through the massive, studded ironwood doors of the Victory Gate on their way to the marketplace. Shutters were being opened in the windows of the tenement buildings that flanked the Square, and street vendors pulled their hand-carts into position in preparation for hawking food, drinks, trinkets, and everything else under the sun. Another busy day was getting ready to dawn in Al-Darabous, and—for the first time—Taji would be leaving it all behind.

Their nerves jangled like the delicate silver chains that the Emperor’s court dancers tied into their braids. They scanned the two major thoroughfares that fed into the Square over and over, shifting their weight from food to foot as time wore on. The gray dawnlight blushed into the full brilliance of morning, and a cacophony of bells tolled in the high white towers to mark the occasion. Taji pulled the papyrus letter out of their pocket and read the last lines for what might have been the thirtieth time:

Prepare and outfit yourself for a long journey through the desert, and meet us in the Square of the Leaping Gazelle before sunrise on the seventh day of Firefall.

[amemoire]

spoilers for arle's story. aka me just gushing over a couple things. no I can't shut up ever.

I love being right oh my god. The outcome was exactly as I expected and she really is as young as I started to suspect wow. But I love !! All the time we got with the siblings !! Seeing them talk to one another and have a little fight just as siblings do but also hearing how strong their bond is. They mean so so much to me. I only wish we weren't forced to interrupt them because that was a private conversation we had no place getting between imo.

I also loved seeing the range of ages in HotH. Chapleau ( I think it was him ) being the same age as Lyney tho what the fuck, they used an adult male model for the guy. I'll just take it as confirmation that he's close to or in his early 20s since I write him at 21 for my sake lmao. Just means he's on the shorter end for his age.

Freminet getting to show off his strength tho yeeeeessss !!! That was NOT an easy thing he pulled off and I talked to my friend once about how strong he really is, too. I mean the boy wields a claymore for fucks sake and literally sends Pers flying towards enemies in his special attack combo. I LOVE that he got to shine here, it's what he deserves.

But don't think I missed the one comment about Arle being too strong "even for Lyney." Telling us that he is in fact viewed as one of their strongest. Because it wasn't including Lyney and someone else. It was just him. HCs aside, I don't think this entirely means that he's physically the strongest. I think it means that he's taken down a number of powerful enemies with both his own strength and his plans. Proving further how much HotH takes pride in him.

Most of all I really loved the confirmation on why Arle chose him to be her successor. His strength of conviction and sheer love and care for his family. Some people might come out of this story hating him with all this emphasis placed on his character over others, but personally I couldn't be happier. Because this is probably the first time a character I love and write actually gets their strength and importance built up and solidified. It's not like Scara who we already know has ungodly strength and literally changed the history of Teyvat. Lyney is just a regular guy that still has room for growth. And after seeing across platforms people trying to tear him down, hearing these things from Arle herself just makes me extremely happy.

[antvnger]

((And now it's time to play my favorite game GUSH OVER EVERYBODY!))

((Nope! I don't have a favorite to interact with here, but there are so many wonderful people on here that I must brag on them for a bit. I'm also nervous because I'm afraid I'll forget someone and I definitely don't want that.))

These are in no particular order except the first one...and the last one

@doctorstrangeaskblog - I have been a fan of your blog for a very long time, and you were actually the first ask blog I interacted with after I made this blog. The fact you replied to my tag just made my day and made me believe this blog could be successful. Even though we don't interact much, you have a special place in my heart.

@arandomnerdsrp358 - Cassie, my sunshine, you saw I needed a Cassie and you jumped right in, and it has been wonderful to have you! I always love when you tag me in something or send me an ask, because I just enjoy writing with you. And I love that other people recognize you're my Cassie too. That makes me happy.

@askthewasp - I am so so so glad you are on here! Scott needs a Hope, and you are such a gem. Having our Scott and Hope interact is so sweet all my teeth could fall out from the cavities, and I just love it. Like you're super cute, bestie, and I'm so glad you hopped into my ask box. <3 You're so awesome, and don't you forget it.

@askyelenabelova - Dude I looooooove your Yelena, and you are the bomb! Like you're so much fun. I love interacting with you, and Scott loves interacting with Yelena. Honestly, ever since I watched the Black Widow movie, I was like I really want to see Scott and Yelena be friends, and we get to have that! It makes me so happy. You make me so happy! You're so awesome. Feel free to hop by any time!

I would be a ridiculous person to not mention all the Anons who keep me and Scott on our toes. Sir Anon, my first "named" anon, Meme Lord, 🍀Anon, Boombox Anon, Goose Anon, "what if you?" Anon, and Creepy Craig lol among many others. Y'all are awesome, and Scott and I love you. Even if you sometimes cause mischief.

Speaking of mischief, @askthesecondgenerationavengers Loki, you are priceless. I always enjoy when I see you in my asks because I literally never ever know what's gonna happen. You definitely keep me on my toes too and I love. That goes for @ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim @ask-wolverine and all the other X-Men who have found some fun on my blog. Never thought Scott or I would be involved with X-Men, yet here we are and we love it.

@askazara @oldmanwithashield @smolbendyhorn @indoraptorgirlwind @ultimategamernerd @thek2b @sobeautifullyobsessed @koffeebiscuits You guys make us smile. Just know that. You make us smile so very much and we appreciate you!

@og-ant-man and @totally-not-spiderman-askblog I haven't interacted with you all that much yet, but you guys seem pretty cool. I foresee a lot more interactions between us and I look forward to all of that.

@youknowwhoiamaskblog Last but most certainly not least, Iron Mun, the other half of the Mun Bros and the person who is as much Tony as I am Scott. I could write a book about you, my friend. Every time I see you pop up in my notifications in anyway at all, I drop everything and check. Heck, sometimes I scour your blog because I'm such a fan of your content. I adore how you portray Tony, and you already know your tags give me life. You make me laugh, you break my heart, and you make me want to hug you and Tony for all sorts of reasons! And I am so so so so proud of our Math Bros and the content we're creating. Let me just say, RDJ would be so proud of your rendition of such a beloved character. You're so funny and sweet and kind and a really creative writer don't look at me like that it's true you are! I am so so so glad you and your Tony reached out.

Okay...did I get everyone? Did I miss someone? Oh geez, I hope not. I really don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Wow, look at this list. It's long, and that's such a good thing. I feel loved and blessed, and I know Scott does too. Trust me ;)

[elialys]

Hi, Greetings from China! I wonder how you think of In Reverse now, nearly 12 years after it was finished. Are there any plot that you'd like to revise and alter or flaws that you'd like to correct？That's my favorite fringe fanfic and I love the characterization, the plots, the details... By the way, concerning fanfic writing, what do you think has changed or improved the most throught the years as a fanfic writer?

Thank you so much for your message!! It’s always lovely to hear from people who read my fringe fanfics, even more so with ‘In Reverse’, because that one has always been special to me 😭

Fun fact but in 2017 or so, I actually started revising In Reverse, as in, taking each chapter one by one and doing some heavy handed editing, simply because my English had improved A LOT since 2011. I never updated the chapters, in the end, because I only got 3 or 4 done and I didn’t want to touch the published version until I could tweak it as a whole. It’s not that I think the original version is bad, but when it comes to all the stuff I wrote in 2011/2012, it’s just so obvious to me that I was still learning to write exclusively in English back then, it’s full of odd little things that could be easily edited.

Now it’s been a few years since I’ve reread this fic but it’s still pretty much burned in my mind (thanks trauma 😂😭). I really don’t think I would change anything in terms of its plot. I feel like I accomplished what I set out to do back then with this story, and I don’t think there was any part unnecessary or out of place. A lot of brainstorming went into it before actually writing it, back then, especially given its ‘in reverse’ narrative, I had to know exactly where I was going and how to get there, since it was basically what Peter and Olivia had already experienced, if that makes sense.

As far as what I think improved the most in my fic writing in the last two decades, I’ll have to go with my drafting/editing process—as well as learning to write in a whole new language in my 20s 😂 It goes hand-in-hand, though. Going from French to English forced me to slow down and take a real hard look at what I was writing, and how I was writing it, instead of happily barfing things out and publishing them online. Now the first draft process is always the hardest part for me. But give me a first draft that I can rewrite then edit to my heart’s content, and I’m the happiest writer on Earth ❤️

Oh, and I’ve learned to cut things out. Like, really. Some stuff is just redundant, I accepted that it’s okay to erase entire paragraphs if I realize it can be summed up in one sentence, or if the characters’ actions/dialogue is already getting that point across. But basically that’s just me gushing some more over my love of editing 😂

[bookwyrminspiration]

I saw your post about bookworm Sophie, and would like to tell you some thoughts about it. Also, nonbinary he/they Sophie is one of my favorite ways to write Sophie, so I am using it here, but feel free to ignore it.

Okay, so I think it would be very fun if Sophie was one of those kids who read both books that are “for girls” and “for guys.” Examples include those books about a school cupcake club, sport books, historical fiction, and a bunch of assorted fantasy. He also has a grudge against Moby Dick and Jane Austen, since people kept trying to get they to read them so often at a young age when he didn’t want to.

He took a break from reading when they first learned she was an elf, but eventually he found his roots again. However, now it was less the books she read back in the human world. Instead, it was nonfiction books that had both happy and sad endings for stories to tell their friends and discuss with Bronte . It was science fiction that he didn’t particularly like but knew Dex loved to hear about. It was graphic novels that made them cry and Keefe gush over the art. It was poetry that made their heart seize and cry and gave Tam a place to hid. It was all this, and so much more.

Sophie’s reading style changed from the human world to the lost cities. He still read for themself, but now he has friends who they can rope into reading with them. They love seeing how their friends react to things, since they never seen it before.

Sorry this is long but I have a lot of thoughts to share!

-⚙️

Don't apologize, this is lovely! Sophie being a reader--all versions of him--is something that can be so so special, I adore it. They seem like the kind of kid who would absolutely blow through books so fast, so even if he has a specific genre he liked, their voracious appetite for reading means he got a taste of a variety of different genres.

I love the idea that they'd use this piece of themself them carried over from the human world--his disconnect, the solace he found in reading, the joy he got from it--to connect with a completely different set of people in a different world. It's a merging of the two. Something that comforted him when he was alone now used as a social, personal bridge of connection with the people they're surrounded themselves with.

It'd be interesting to see the ways his taste changes after what he's been through. Was it the friendships and belonging that attracted them to their prior tastes, a sort of vicarious wishful experience? So would they want to read stories where the main characters make it out, finding comfort that things go well somewhere? Or would reading them be uninteresting and frustrating because he knows that's not how it works?

I know you explained a little about your ideas of their taste in other categories, but I was wondering how their relationship with fantasy would change specifically. I suspect it would be a blend of the two depending on his mood. I hope Sophie enjoys the ways he and all their friends connect and interact over various things they read :)

[emptypassicn-moved]

@nebula-drcams        sent ;;

        “   comes in here and is a menace in ur askbox by throwing my url at you ”

From ;; Send me your URL and I’ll tell you // Accepting Only Tonight

My Opinion on; Star (@/nebula-drcams)

Character in general: Star writes many canon characters but I will choose a few to comment on.

In canon I never cared much for Damien. The fact he's a little gremlin was amusing, sure, but he was never exactly all that interesting to me. I didn't get the fixation on him outside of just "Oh, other people ship him with Pip and that's why he's popular". Mole, on the other hand, I enjoy greatly. Obviously with how he's one of my two top primary muses. He barely existed for most of the movie but he certainly memorable to me for many reasons. He's also a favorite for many reasons.

Then, of course, Star has her OCs. Most notably, Nimue. While I can't really comment on my "opinions on the character in general" as if she was a canon character I can comment on my typical feelings towards OCs. I'm not usually the type to take to OCs. I never liked writng my own OCs, despite having them slowly being added to my blog now, and also never liked writing with other people's OCs. Far too many bad experiences.

How they play them: To put it simply, Star writes both canons and her own OC well.

I disliked most Damiens I've written with for various reasons. I'm always initially hesitant to write with them due to those reasons but Star's has been the exception. Her Damien is great, I like how he's written, even if he's honestly pretty opposite to how I write my own (SP) Damien. I don't really gush about my muse relations openly but I enjoy how my Mole and her Damien are friends. Her Damien is, quite literally, my Mole's closest and most trusted friend even if they are menaces to one another. I also like how she's written Damien when it comes to interacting with my Pip who, notably, does not like Damien very much usually. Her Damien was the only one I've ever written with so far that acknowledged he fucked up, he hurt Pip, and was willing to just avoid Pip to avoid him being uncomfortable. I can't really openly state certain things I've discussed with her about Damien and my own muses but some stuff we've talked about with them is great to me and he is the only Damien I "GRIPS (affectionate)".

I also tend to dislike most Moles I've written with. They're too soft or too much of an asshole, they can't comprehend a decent in between. Also, Mole is just a muse I squint more frequently at due to his status as one of my top two primary muses. But her Mole has been pretty good. I have had some minor squints at the portrayal but those weren't necessarily her fault. I also do adore the verse I have specific to my Gregory for her Mole too. It's a stupid trope more than likely, so that's how you know it was my suggestion, but I do enjoy it.

Nimue I do enjoy immensely as a character, I do enjoy hearing about her from Star and reading posts about her when they come onto my dash. She gets both the prize of the first OC I'd agreed to write against, outside of a public chat rp setting, in years and the first OC for me to willingly ship with in years. She's a well thought out OC with effort put into her even if her basic backstory / background can be a bit cliche or squinty. But, even with that, Star works that specific trope in OCs well. She doesn't make Nimue pull any "woe is me" shit over her struggles in life which many OCs with similar sounding backstories have. Nimue is special sort of OC in my opinion, to say the least.

The Mun: Star is neat.

She's quite nice, to be honest. She's also basically the reason I remained on Tumblr after initially feeling terrible about some shit on one of my "old" blogs I'd say. She's also basically been the one to help me in comprehending certain things about Tumblr based roleplay since previously I solely roleplayed in places that functioned completely differently. She's very understanding about the fact that I'm an awfully slow writer at times, communicates with me, and in general puts up with me. Hell, she's even let me force into watching various things about my interests. From GHS to various versions of GE to different versions of Les Mis to DT17 + DWD and also other shit. The only real "issues" I can ever recall having with Star are through a poor statement on my part and me occasionally not really "getting" certain things when we talk. Also her sending me that fucking dancing toothless gif-- /j

Do I:

RP with them: Yes.

Want to RP with them: Of course.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: Very cool. Very epic.

Shout out to the poly. /j

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[rhetoricandlogic]

Noumenon Ultra – Every Ending Is A New Beginning

And so here we are, at the end and the beginning of a journey started a few years ago with Noumenon. Now, I had reviewed a few books prior to reading that delightful novel, but Noumenon may have been the book that really sold me on continuing to read and review new books. It is a special book in my heart, and my affection for the series only grew with Noumenon Infinity. Marina J. Lostetter seemed to have a special touch for writing humanity into the big question of “why are we here?” While she never provides an answer, her ability to explore the question through vignettes over centuries and millennia is astounding. If you’re wondering, does the third book encapsulate the things I mentioned in my previous adulations of Lostetter’s work? Of course it does, and it does so much more, making me reflect on why they feel even more important in the world of today. Noumenon Ultra is a near perfect capstone to the trilogy, offering deeper and more personal ruminations on our place in the universe with the perfect blend of scientific anomalies and personal struggles with them.

Ultra starts where Infinity leaves off, which, as readers of the series know, means absolutely nothing. I don’t want to get into too much detail, as it would inevitably spoil the other books, but needless to say humanity in all its forms are spread across the stars in search of ancient super structures and unlocking their secrets. After the considered “success” of the original Noumenon mission, there are still questions about the nature of the machines that are being found, constructed and activated by human hands. Characters from previous novels make their return along with new ones, with ever more distinct lives and even more questions.

First off, I absolutely adored this book. Second, there is one thing readers might be turned off by, but if you’ve liked the books to this point, it will be a non-issue. This is a slow burn meditation on what it means to be sentient without purpose in the universe. Lostetter’s prose sometimes feels like it meanders, following the thought patterns of the character as they tell their story. It’s easy to get lost in, and it might be off putting to those who are looking for something a little more concise. But again, I think this is true of all her work and fits nicely with the themes she explores. It also never gets overly bogged down; the story is broken into nicely sized vignettes that can be read on their own or in succession. So now those are out of the way, I feel I can gush a little more.

One of the things I praised previously about Lostetter was her ability to write characters and imbue them with significance even though they usually only exist for a chapter. I feel she has only gotten better at this, as each character still feels distinct, with their own issues, but they all feel even more tied together. There is a prevailing sense of loneliness in each character that once you see it, it’s impossible not to notice. Every one of them has their unique problem from the child who physically ages exponentially slower than they do mentally, to the clone of a long dead man who lives life back and forth over and over again never dying, while losing his memories of previous lives. This loneliness, while all-encompassing, never felt insurmountable. This is where Lostetter succeeds in her storytelling. While the big things in the background are shifting into place, these unknown scientific marvels being pieced back together for unknown purposes, these people are living their absurd lives, finding out who they are, and coping together.

What continues to perplex me about Lostetter is while she can do the smaller stories, she is also a master of mind bending scale. The size and scope of the artifacts she writes about is nearly unfathomable. The effort that the characters put into understanding and reconstructing these ancient behemoths is ludicrous. Smartly, she doesn’t spend too much time on the details of the construction process, instead focusing on their import to the character’s lives. Lostetter also takes the chance to explore design philosophy and scientific concepts with these artifact sections, providing insights to our world while presenting problems to her characters. There might be some dissonance with some of the examples, however, as they seem a little too on the nose, but it didn’t bother me too much. There is a reasonable in-universe explanation for the seemingly anachronistic analogies. Either way, Lostetter made me think about these concepts in new ways in and outside the book.

On its own, Noumenon Ultra stands tall, but it does require the shoulders of its predecessors. If you haven’t picked up Noumenon and you’re looking for a fresh and exciting dive into time- and universe-spanning science fiction, I highly recommend this series. Noumenon Ultra serves as a fantastic finish, pushing the boundaries of the previous novels, while adding new insight without overshadowing them. Lostetter shows a lot of growth book to book, digging deeper and finding more empathetic and meaningful ways to engage with science than previously explored. Lostetter feels more determined than ever to explore the connections between humanity and science, exploring the benefits as well as the consequences. There is so much more I could say about this series, especially Ultra. However, if there is one word that sums up this series, it’s human. Lostetter wonderfully captures the human experience in all its absurdities, trivialities, and grandiosity, never forgetting the importance of an individual’s ability to affect the universe at large.

[smokeybrand]

We're (not) All Alright

I am a fan of That 70’s Show. As an older Millennial, that sh*t is basically our Happy Days. To be honest, I was far more partial to the short lived That 80’s Show but, you know, whatever. I loved the kids from Point Place and fervently watched the show up until Eric bailed. After that, it never felt the same. I loved that 70s show and the Netflix spin-off, That 90’s Show is, so far, just a great. All of that is absolutely tainted by this whole Danny Masterson situation. Well, for me, it was tainted long ago (Wilmer Valderrama is a straight up pedophile) but it’s nuts to think that set was so full of sordid debauchery. I mean, it really isn’t when you actually think about it. The fact that Scientology had it’s claws so deep into production, that type of hedonistic predation was a forgone conclusion. Scientology is a cult which monetizes abuse under the guise of celebrity and wellness. Two of the principal cast members were full blown cultists, one was cult-adjacent because of the easy-pickings hanging around the Celebrity Center, one was a whole ass child among indoctrinated adults, and another was this weirdly creepy former model. Literally the only one who was not a Scientologist or Scientology-adjacent, was Topher Grace. That's an insane thing which shouldn't have happened.

Like, this whole situation is hitting cats with collateral damage. Everyone who gave the Judge a character witness statement in confidence, got mad burned by a leak. I don't know how, but all of those things were made public and, let me tell, you, Ashton Kutcher looks like a hypocritical dick/ Mans founded Thorn, an organization which specializes in rescuing people from human trafficking, and he's on record of writing a glowing review for a guy that was convicted of two rapes. Convicted. A jury heard the evidence and thought there was more than enough to say, publicly, legally, that Danny Masterson is a whole ass rapist. The fact that Kutcher, a staunch advocate for victims, would write what can only be described as a heartfelt message to the judge, gushing about the “Danny he knows”, is wildly disgusting. So much so, he had to step down from his position as Chairman of Thorn because, you know, the rape defense. More than that, this “error in judgment” has left Kutcher exposed for his own bullsh*t. Lots of clips have resurfaced of hi just being creepy and gross about then underage Hilary Duff, which might not be anything because it was the early Aughts and everyone was so edgy, but then the murder thing came back up. That was a lot. Hell, even Jane Doe One took shots a Mila, quietly insinuating that she, herself, might have been a victim of Masterson. She alluded to knowing exactly what happened in that hotel room in Canada way back when. Dunno what that means but it can't be great. And the sh*t didn't stop tumbling down hill there, either.

Bijou Philips filed for divorce from Danny Masterson on my birthday. That sh*t is hilarious because both of them are Scientologists. Scientology is just weaved throughout this entire sordid affair. I wonder why? Anyway, you have to get permission to divorce when you're about that Zenu life. For her to file so fast means that either she got permission some time beforehand, or she straight up didn't and just pulled the trigger herself. The former means that the higher-ups legit knew there was enough evidence to convict Danny-boy and they hedged their bets to keep Philips happy/quiet/ under their control. The latter means she is running as fast away from Scientology, as Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman, only her arranged husband isn't Scientology Jesus, but just a regular ass rapist. Either way, I suspect this entire "marriage" was a cover to make Masterson look like a a doting father and good husband. Why? Because of the rapes. The two of them got married a little over a decade ago. That's about when rumors of Masterson's brutality stayed making the rounds. Weird timing, that. Very Dianetics of them.

[bigg1999]

Hi there :-) What's your favourite of your own fics? What would you recommend to a reader and why?

Hello dear Anon! Sorry for the delay in answering.

To pick a favorite would be impossible, I love so many of my stories so much, which is why I've been writing the majority of them so many years. So I'm going to gush about my favorites, and why you should check them all out, haha.

To recommend to a reader, it would depend on what you enjoy.

I'm always pushing people to read Stardust. It's got so many good issues tied up in it, I feel like it could benefit people to read such a storyline, but, I know some people are not into the idea of transgender storylines, which, Stardust features pretty heavily. (In the same vein, there's also Screw Stardust, which is the same base storyline, only I've flipped who is trans, which is a WIP, but, I also love it so much)

If you want more canonverse Clexa, I just finished Depths of Love (which I assume is how you've found me, haha). It's unlike any of my other AUs, and has such an amazing idea. Like, I can not get over the storyline, and honestly, would love to see how one of the other talented writers in the fandom would write the same idea. I can not get over the fact it hasn't been done before, and a very special thanks to @sassymajesty for giving me the inspiration to finish it (three years later, but, oh well).

Then I'd say if you want soft and a lot of fluff, check out Softball. It's nowhere close to done, and I don't know if it will ever be, but it's such a soft idea of high school kids growing up and dealing with challenges and Clexa realizing their feelings for each other. It's honestly my most detailed fic, I have like, five pages worth of outlining for it, and a chapter by chapter guide set up, but it's just finding the time and the motivation to write it.

Then, if you're in the mood for some smut, I'd recommend Create Stardust. It's not really a fic, just a future of Screw Stardust (An AU of Stardust, haha) and it does feature Transgender Clarke, which, again, isn't for everybody, but, I think it's just so soft and one of my most beautifully written pieces. And, it's pretty hot, if I do say so myself, haha.

And then, (last rec, I swear) I would say Not the End if you want some angst. Lots of angst, and lots to come. It's a WIP, and nowhere close to done. Starts off full of confusion and hardships, and then realizes the truth, and trying to make sense and understand it from both sides. I don't think enough people start it with an open mind, and are too quick to hate Clarke, but, yeah. It's so fun writing this storyline and seeing how these complex characters deal with their impossible situations. It's not my best writing, but I'm enjoying it.

Then, last but not least, ones that are my favorites, but I wouldn't recommend as a reader (but I'm more than willing to gush about). Keep Holdin' On - This is angst city. It's so sad and I wrote it about 20 different times whenever I just needed a good cry. Not a deep story, but damn, it tugs at the heartstrings, well, mine at least. Not a lady - Game of Thrones AU. It's very different and very fun to write, but I have no idea how to tie my idea's together. I want Clarke to be so much more than a whore, but I have no idea how to make that fit into the GOT universe without changing everything about it. I've got a few ideas, but, I wouldn't recommend waiting around for me to figure it out, haha. Traitors - Harry Potter AU. I LOVE this idea. Griffins vs Woods. Griffins known for, well, Griffindor, and Woods are known for Slytherin, and Clexa coming in and BOTH of them 'ruining' their family's reputation? Clarke, who's always thought of herself as better than, always seen Slytherin as evil, slowly coming to realize, when she's placed into Slytherin, that maybe, things aren't always black and white? Poor baby Lexa, who was already the outcast in her family, giving them even more reason, now a Griffindor. GAH, just talking about it makes me wanna write it, honestly. I need to sit down and make a plan for a story, more than just them being little gay beans (or do I? Honestly, do I?)

Thank you so much for the question! I apologize for the wall of text. I'm an over-explainer. Hope that kinda answers your question? Or if you have any questions about a certain fic of mine, please reach out! More than happy to gush about any/all versions of my Clexa's. From stupid one-shots like Comet Girl, to my babies in Softball!

[firelord-frowny]

MY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND

not to sound arrogant and call myself a ~great writer~ lmfao (even though i ammmmm) but WOW a great writer’s mind works in a totally reverse order sometimes omggggg! 

so i’ve got this character. Pleiades. Extremely gifted in the arts. brilliant philosopher. could definitely be a major force in the development of fine art, but has always failed to live up to her potential, and she hates herself for being so physically weak. none of her talents mean anything to her because she’s weak. can’t open a jar. can’t move heavy objects. can’t fight back against an aggressor. can’t protect herself or anyone else from any physical threat. her fixation on weakness and her fixation on her desire to be strong seems absurd. she’s bereft over it. 

in my head, it’s for no particular reason. it’s just the way she is. 

so, i’m writing a bunch of scenes from various points in her life. 

get to a scene where she’s back in her childhood home at the library of alexandria where her parents work as researchers/scholars/etc, and where she used to work and study as a musician and artist.

almost as soon as she arrives, her behavior becomes bizarre. panic attacks over the slightest criticism. suddenly terrified of performing in front of anyone. she finds herself at the mercy of her old teacher who oversees the music department. she doesn’t really remember it, but this teacher was a psychological nightmare of an emotional abuser. jerked her around. praised her for something on one day, and then scolded her for the same thing the very next day. forced her into opportunities she wasn’t prepared for and then punished her for failing. gaslit her. told her what a disappointment she was, called her arrogant, lazy, berates her for always half-assing everything she does, threatens to dismiss her from the department because she’s just not living up to the required standards. and then tells her how much she loves her and that she’ll never abandon her and that she’s the most gifted student she’s ever had. 

it drives pleiades fucking crazy, but she absolutely has no idea. all she knows is that she feels worthless and wants to die.

So now she’s back at Alexandria. sees her old teacher. old teacher expresses such joy to see her. gushes to all her colleagues about her. talks her up as being the best student she’s ever had. a prodigy. a legend. a Muse in flesh and blood. And she invites Pleaides to be featured in a seminar where distinguished musicians present new techniques they’ve been developing. Pleiades is thrilled. 

the day before the seminar is due to take place, Pleiades has a mild disagreement with her teacher about something, and the teacher turns on a dime and takes her off the program, accusing her of being too difficult, too moody, too arrogant, to unpredictable, too unstable. your new techniques aren’t that special, anyway. i was wrong to trust you to live up to your potential. you never did before, so i was a fool to expect you to be able to do it now. what a disgrace. i’m ashamed to even have people know that you used to study with me. 

she has a breakdown. screaming, crying, breaking things. she shatters some glass and walks all over the shards. a physician has to be called in to give her a sedative so she’ll calm down. 

while she’s knocked out, the physician explains to her companion that ‘this kind of behavior is nothing new for Pleiades. she’s always been prone to self-harm.’ 

the physician then describes past incidents where Pleiades would scream for hours on end in her room, throwing herself at the walls over and over again with such force that she’d be black and blue with bruises and swelling. 

but what nobody knew, because nobody ever bothered to ask, is that she wasn’t just throwing herself at the walls out of sheer insanity. 

she was trying to break the door down because she was locked in. 

her parents used to seal her in her room as punishment when her teacher would report that she’s not doing well enough in her studies. and these lock-ins almost always happened when she was supposed to be participating in some sort of esteemed event where she’d be featured as a master of her craft. 

so she’d ram at the door, trying to get out. but she wasn’t strong enough. 

and every time she rams into that door, she recalls a time where she once tried to hide behind that very same locked door from someone who intended to hurt her, and that person busted right in. 

she’s not strong enough to free herself, but other people are strong enough to breach the barrier that’s supposed to keep her safe. If only she was strong, she could have saved herself in both kinds of scenarios.

FULL CIRCLE!

Literally none of this was on my mind when I arbitrarily decided that she has a fixation on her physical strength. And when I was writing these scenes, I had absolutely no conscious awareness that it would tie in so seamlessly with that character trait that I picked at random. 

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.