#people were really interested and curious about mlad and then i started posting less so people moved on
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#ugh i know its an inherently harmful mindset to base your arts worth on how much engagement it gets#and i HAVE been trying to take the steps to obsess over it less but its just like. its difficult not to feel like i failed to deliver#people were really interested and curious about mlad and then i started posting less so people moved on#and now it really feels like i wasted my chance#my art style itself has improved but the person and the writing behind it has decayed and people can smell it#im just frustrated with myself. if i just kept it together i couldve done some really cool stuff but im never going to have that kind of#interest in my work again#been trying to move my focus to just drawing what i want but part of my driving force to make me want to create was knowing people wanted#to see that work#im complaining in circles sorry its just something that weighs on me because i know its my fault ultimately#sometimes i do get inspiration to do something really big for mlad but im too scared of my shit flopping now#which is also just a me skill issue
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