#people misinterpreting third sem akechi is one of my biggest pet peeves tbh

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

a really underappreciated aspect of goro's character is how much he wants/needs people to like him. like, people think he's "gotten over that" by third sem because he acts like he doesn't care and is an asshole. but like, that's so far from the truth. he still really wants people to like him. he's just completely given up on that happening. he's intentionally pushing people away on purpose by being the worst version of himself.

so something i really wish people explored more in post canon/redemption akechi fics is this desire to be liked. if goro starts to have hope again that he might be able to be loved, after akira and other thieves accept him as his true self, there's no way that's not going to affect how he acts. i just don't buy the idea that he's going to be a jerk all the time forever, not only because i think he needs to improve and be kinder as a part of his self betterment, but moreso simply because if he's shown kindness and accepted and gains friends, he's going to be terrified of losing them or accidentally pushing them away.

sure, they might accept him even while he was his worst, meanest version of himself, but that isn't enough to undo the trauma and akechi's fundamental worldview that he is inherently unlovable so long as he is himself. so there's going to be this conflict between his fear that he has to become the detective prince if he doesn't want to lose his friends, and the part of himself that hates the detective prince for being a false projection and his idealistic self he never could be.

i don't buy the idea that goro could comfortably be his true self with his friends in a "take it or leave it" sort of way. he might pretend to be secure in himself enough to act that way, but he's going to be internally terrified at all times that if he says or does the wrong thing they'll abandon him. at first he'll even accept it as inevitable, but the longer they stay, the more he's going to hope they could stay, and the more he's going to be terrified that they'll leave him like everyone else has.

i want more fics about goro struggling between the desire to be true to himself and the desperate need not to be abandoned again. i want more fics where he either decides to push all of them away because that's better than the alternative of them abandoning him, or he starts to transform himself and act in ways out of character just to keep them from leaving. or feeling like he has to offer them something or they'll abandon him because they'll never love him for himself. feeling like he owes them just for being loved. that sort of thing! just anything at all that explores how he thinks he is inherently unlovable that goes beyond simple self loathing. how is that going to affect how he acts in a world where he DOES have people who love him, but he can't accept that, because they must have some ulterior motive, no one could really love him for him? i think it's a really untapped part of post canon stuff.