#people aren't ok with just accepting the thing isn't to their tastes

[carriesthewind]

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[aspecpplarebeautiful]

im having a crisis and i was just. hoping for some insight!! if this isn't the place to ask feel free to ignore and delete!! thanks

i think i might me aro but i'm not sure. i'm 17 and i haven't felt any romantic atttraction (ever? i can remember ONE time in elementary school but literally.. i barely remember) but oh lord. i want to. i've dated people but not because i was attracted to them and i asked first, but because they asked me and i thought it might work out. i'm not sure if anyone can be... involuntarily aromantic? so i thought i would ask. many thanks.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, Anon. If you haven't experienced romantic attraction, or possibly did once, but a long time ago, it is possibly you may be aro. Sometimes people do start experiencing romantic attraction in their late teens or very early 20's, but the older you get the more likely it is you're on the aro spectrum.

If by involuntarily aromantic, you mean people who really don't want to be aro, but who's experiences can be described as being on the aromantic spectrum, than yes, that does happen. Some people do have a hard time accepting themselves, especially since we live in a society that pushes the message that romance and romantic love are incredibly important and fulfilling (sometimes the most important and fulfilling) experience someone can have.

That said self acceptance is possible, the first step is rejecting that messaging. It helps that it's not true, while romance and romantic love are an experience that some people find important and fulfilling, it's far from the only one, and it's not one that's been important to everyone. Similar to things like religion, having children, having a passion (for example creating art, helping animals, etc), etc. There are things in life that give people feelings of meaning and fulfillment, but what those things aren't always the same for everyone. Even alloromantic people (that is people who are not aromantic), often find it helpful not to look at romance as the be all and end all since that's just not how it is for everyone, and also it creates a lot of pressure that can lead to unhealthy relationship balances. Romance is a thing some people enjoy and get a lot out of, but it's not the only thing.

The other part is learning to see aromanticism not as something that's about limiting yourself, but instead about giving yourself the freedom to do what's right for you. Aromantic describes how you feel internally, but it doesn't mean you can't do what you want if it's what you actually want and enjoy. For example, if you want to date people romantically, you can still do that. You mentioned you've already tried dating a few times, if you've enjoyed that experience or found those relationships fulfilling, you can keep dating.

On the other side of things, if you didn't enjoy dating, aromantic as a label is there to tell you it's OK to not enjoy dating. There are other types of life partners (Queerplatonic Relationships for example) if having a life partner is important to you. Or maybe you want to focus on other kinds of relationships (it's a myth that only romantic relationships are deep or meaningful, or that nobody values platonic relationships). Or maybe there's something else entirely that's important to you that you'd rather focus your energy on. Sometimes I look at being romance avese (so not just aromantic, but averse to romance on top of it) like not liking chocolate. Some people treat chocolate like it's the best food in the world, better than sex, etc. Some people just don't like the taste, and no matter how much they try and foce themselves to eat it, they'll probably never have that same experience as the people who love it. But there probably is other food they enjoy or other things that give them joy. It's OK to just not like chocolate or to find it just OK.

So even if you're just questioning, and even if you do start experiencing romantic attraction eventually, I would recommend trying to learn these lessons. And trying to see aromanticism as more of a neutral outcome rather than something to be afraid of. Remember too that no matter what you can do what you want, and if you do enjoy romantic relationships, and want to keep doing romantic things you can. If you don't enjoy romance, you will find things and relationships that do matter to you.

Seeking out media with aromantic characters (you can google book and podcast recs for a decent selection), or seeking out aromantic blogs, spaces, etc. can also help you see aromanticism in a more neutral and less scary light as well.

And of course if you have more questions, or want to talk more, this ask box is always open.

All the best, and good luck!

[henrioo]

CIS PEOPLE CANNOT DECIDE THE PARAMETERS FOR SOMEONE TO BE TRANS OR NOT

I'M FUCKING TIRED OF A CIS COMING TO ME AND SAYING I'M NOT A MAN BECAUSE I HAVE LONG HAIR, BECAUSE I LIKE DRESSES OR HIGH HEELS

THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE AND I WILL CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE IT, I WILL CHOOSE HOW I WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED, I HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE, NOT YOU

After this scream I'm going to vent a little because even though I'm a hard rock to break, it doesn't mean that things don't affect me

If they don't hurt me anymore, it will be very difficult for you to hurt me, you know, especially about my trans experience. It's hard enough to offend me, so getting hurt is even harder

But it doesn't mean it doesn't affect me, and it affects and affects me, frustrating me, making me mad at a level where I often question how someone is so stupid

There's this woman (cis straight) and we were from a common group and we became friends, everything was fine, we had similar tastes, etc

But she did something that really irritated me, which was writing Mpreg, if you don't know why this is transphobic, etc. I genuinely don't feel like explaining now, but feel free to send me a message and I'll explain it better later and no, it's not necessarily forbidden to write Mpreg because of this, ok? It's more complicated than it looks

But I ignored it and like I said, mpreg is transphobic but being a writer or artist who uses it doesn't make you one, it's different, you know

But I started to notice the signs, one of the first was how she REFUSED to write trans men when it came to mpreg, she said she simply didn't like it and felt it wasn't her style, She also said that she would much rather have men giving birth through the ass than using a natural biological process that is men giving birth through a vagina

You may not see transphobia in this but it's fucking weird

And then I also started to realize that she was strangely obsessed with gay ships, to the level of just liking them and refusing to imagine them with women or accept other couples

It was also very strange that she EXCLUSIVELY liked gay couples, seriously, both the extreme of only liking LGBT couples and only liking straight couples is problematic, ok?

And now I found out that she also came up with this talk about Yamato being a woman, and I just started to get pissed off because it wasn't just like, oh that's my opinion, She spoke in a way that was like, this is a fucking truth and if you don't believe it, you're seeing something that isn't there

AND HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WANTING TO DICTATE WHAT MAKES SOMEONE BE TRANS OR NOT???

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT A CHARACTER IS NOT TRANS WHEN YOU ARE A FUCKING CIS??? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TRANS

And all her arguments were bullshit about Yamato only being inspired by Oden, what a holy shit it already happened, right, use a real argument, holy shit

I'm just fucking tired of people like this

People who aren't even trans thinking they know what it's like to be trans, who know how trans people manifest themselves and expose themselves

No, no, Yamato took showers with men because he likes Luffy, ahem, of course that was it

No, no, Yamato continued using male pronouns even after saying he no longer wanted to be Oden due to Oda's mistake, of course

No, no, Yamato being called son by Kaido himself which only shows that his father knew and supported, besides showing the rest of the world calling him daughter is not a parallel for trans people who are in the closet and can only come out to their parents and sometimes not even that, Of course not, Oda would never think of that pfft

I'm tired, tired of seeing stupid people, because seriously, a person is not stupid because they don't know something, a person is stupid because they refuse to learn something

And transphobes and homophobes are the stupidest people on the face of the earth because they will always refuse to learn

And besides being funny, it's kind of sad, because they never keep it to themselves, they always need to attack others to prove it

Well I never think anyone reads my huge posts but I like to vent on them because I like tumblr

So my dear trans colleague, don't be discouraged, don't be afraid, don't give up

Because you are a star that will still shine brightly in this sky and these idiots will be far below you, millions of light years away, seeing only an illusion of your light, because you will be so badass and so brilliant, that they won't be able to come close to admire your true light

[thelordofgifs]

For the directors cut - would you be willing to talk about "in the breaking"? Particularly the hair-combing scene. I love it so much <3

(director's cut ask game)

aahhh you have Good Taste! in the breaking is undoubtedly my favourite fic of mine no it's not tfs. why would it be tfs.

Maedhros did not respond, though there was now too much tension in his shoulders for him to even feign sleep. Maglor continued to massage his scalp. Maedhros’ hair was silken-soft and very fine: it tangled easily and painfully, and could take long hours to brush out to smoothness again. As it slipped between his fingers, Maglor had to take care not to let it snarl.

They would not sing of this, after – nobody else would know that Fëanor’s fearsome eldest son had flinched from anyone pulling his hair even accidentally; and they would not believe that Maglor’s hands, which had dealt out so much death, could ever have been gentle. Maedhros was right. It was a terrible thing, in truth, to know yourself a monster.

The whole physical pose in this fic - Maedhros lying with his head in Maglor's lap, halfway to sleep - means a lot to me. They're so. they're so tender with each other ok. Even now, at the end of everything, they're still gentle with each other: an interpretation I tend to favour over the harsher version where they argue a lot and hate each other. There's so much complexity you can still work into a very loving relationship.

Anyway, that description of Maedhros' hair, "silken-soft and very fine: it tangled easily and painfully, and could take long hours to brush out to smoothness again" is very important. I wanted to get across an idea of lingering beauty - this is Maitimo, after all, named for his bodily comeliness. When he was young he had absolutely glorious silky red hair that everyone admired, and he still does. I love the idea that even at the very end of their awful fall from grace, they're still in some ways recognisably the same people they were once. Maglor can still sing very beautifully, and Maedhros still has this gorgeous soft hair, and also they're murderers. Something something juxtaposition something something the idea that your blessings aren't withdrawn just because you don't deserve them any more something something there is mercy for everyone if they only choose to accept it idk these are half-formed thoughts that I wanted to kind of glance off instead of exploring in too much detail.

But of course Maedhros' hair isn't just nice and silky, it's also very fine and prone to tangles. In this I wanted to get across the impression of an almost childlike vulnerability to Maedhros, one very much at odds with the ruthless Kinslayer image of him. Which is what Maglor realises: they've done so much evil that all the softer parts of them will be forgotten, his own gentle hands and Maedhros' trauma (his thing about hair-pulling is very much a product of Angband).

Some minutes passed.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Maedhros said, “I meant it. If – if there was ever any penance to be done, you have done it.”

Maglor looked down at him. There was nothing stopping him from clenching his hands and yanking out Maedhros’ hair by the fistful, but Maedhros had lain his head there anyway.

yeah the vulnerability and so on. The startling violence of Maglor's thought, the fact that he's never actually going to do that. The knowledge that Maedhros trusts him unconditionally - which is what leads him to refuse Maedhros' offer.

“There was,” he said. “You know there was.”

“And what of mine?” Maedhros asked. “You said it yourself: you begged me not to leave you, and I went anyway. I burned all our best and brightest hopes on the Field of Lamentation.” His voice faltered for a moment. This was as close to naming Fingon as he would ever come. “I led you into slaughter—”

“But I chose to follow you,” Maglor said. “I knew what it meant.”

Maedhros did not seem to have an answer to this; instead, after a moment, he said, “I made you send the children away.”

“You were right to do so,” Maglor said. Saying it should not have been as painful as it was.

“Káno,” Maedhros said. He turned his face towards Maglor again. “Dearest.” That was a name from long ago; once, it had meant something, to be the first person in Maedhros’ affections and not merely the only one left. “I know – I know how faithful you have been, long after I last deserved it.” When Maglor opened his mouth again he raised his fingers to his lips, shushing him. “Don’t argue. I only mean that – that if there is any penance you would ask of me, over-late – then ask it.”

The climactic moment! Maedhros acknowledges how unquestioningly loyal Maglor has been to him. He calls him dearest!! If I ever break out the word "dearest" in an M&M scene I am Feeling Things Intensely for the record. I can recite every occurrence of it in tfs by heart.

He could not say what he was offering in so many words; Maglor knew it anyway. Maedhros would listen to him, now, if he said, I will not go, and bloody my hands one last time. If he said, Do not go either, Nelyo, come away with me instead, we can find the children or we can just disappear together, there is so much of Middle-earth yet to be seen. This need not be an ending for us; I do not want there to be nobody left who remembers how easily your hair used to tangle. Or even if he said, Let us hearken to Eönwë, and go home to plead for succour in the Ring of Doom – I do believe there is mercy left in the world, Nelyo, if we only choose to accept it.

Maedhros had never thought he had a choice.

The question this fic is trying to answer is, Why did Maglor agree to go with Maedhros to steal the Silmarils? So here I try to give him some agency, to make the answer more complicated than "Maedhros bullied him into it". Maedhros offers him the choice, and Maglor, who is well aware that they are in a tragedy, refuses it, for Maedhros' sake: because Maedhros can't see a way out, and Maglor knows that Maedhros trusts him, and he can't bear to betray that trust by forcing Maedhros to do something he doesn't want to.

(Maedhros did have a choice, of course. You always have a choice. And Maglor knows it! But he isn't willing to try to convince Maedhros into it.)

Since we've been talking about the hair thing, the motif wraps up here: I do not want there to be nobody left who remembers how easily your hair used to tangle. This is why Maglor chooses to live, after it all. If nobody else is ever going to remember that there was more to Maedhros than the bloody-handed murderer, Maglor will. He is going to make himself the narrator, and he is not going to let everything that Maedhros was be forgotten.

“There is nothing, Nelyo,” he said. “Only let me follow you once again.”

sigh. bby you were so close there.

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

Um. Ok. This certainly is a... whole post. TRIGGER WARNING for plainly explaining the consequences of being brainwashed throughout all of foster care by the Pentecostals, while dealing with far too much pain and blood.

The rest of this entire post is going under a cut. This is straight up high-octane horror fuel, but I think it deserves to exist as a testament to understanding suffering.

Coping with my fucked up childhood means literally mind-bending myself. To cope with what the pain drove me to do, I have to accept some very disturbing truths about myself. It means that I've had no choice but to accept where humans actually exist in the web of life, and that is not inherently at the top. I was eating my own top layers of skin/fat inside my mouth as far back as I can remember. Swallowed it blood and all, as much as I could when in the middle of it. I was both afraid of the consequences and compelled to keep doing it. There's a lot of fucked up reasons for it, but religion was a much more prominent aspect of it than I gave it credit for.

So on that note... Don't ever, ever try to teach a child suffering from so much pain they dig themselves bloody about the Eucharist. If I'm anything to go by, it's definitely a good example of why you don't do that. I have to cope with a literal taste for myself that will probably exist for the rest of my life at some level. And that means I have to accept the cannibalism for what it is, along with how it came to be.

I'm never going to be even close to the realm of an acceptably normal person. Because of my childhood, I will be seen as inherently immoral and evil to some people. I've decided to focus simply on being as ethical a person as I can, but I know that's not enough for purity culture. Accepting this is hard, because of the emphasis that's placed on moral purity by society at large. I feel like there's always the risk of rejection or judgement any time I decide to be entirely honest about what I went through.

It still absolutely must be understood to be a consequence of fundamentalist Christianity (protestant flavor) and extreme pain, literally just like torture. This isn't some instance of a group of people pretending to be Christians while actually doing so-called 'satanic' rituals instead. They fervently believed themselves to be worshiping God/Jesus, and that my suffering was a good thing.

Did they know how badly they were fucking with my understanding of the world and Christian theology? Probably not, actually. At least, not in the way that they did in terms of not understanding their flavor of nuance. But did they fully expect me to fail and go to Hell? There's not a single doubt in my mind anywhere that they expected me to be tortured as a dirty, evil sinner for all eternity. I think they were convinced I was an actual demon from Hell.

How am I learning to cope at all? By zooming out and away from an anthropocentric view of the world, and understanding that humans are still just animals like any other. There is nothing the human creature can do that is against the laws of nature. Nature cannot go against itself, it's laws are what govern the universe. And those laws are morally neutral. They don't pass judgement on anyone or anything. They ultimately just exist so that reality can exist and be stable at all. Humans came up with things such as ethics and morals to navigate an inherently chaotic and entropic universe.

Humans have mistaken our place of responsibility to the care of the planet, as somewhat self-aware animals, for being the masters of it. We absolutely are not. There's no actual grand purpose to life but to persist, live, and prosper. Any meaning beyond that is ours to create, and that's definitely not going to be universal. We aren't special, we're just sufficiently curious enough to ask why the world works the way it does.

My so-called 'legal guardians' tried to rob me of my humanity by denying me my basic evolutionary, psychological social survival skills. They denied me empathy and compassion first. I take responsibility to heal what I can now that I'm safe enough, but I should never have had to in the first place. They're the ones who tried to turn me into a monster.

There's no good way to end this thing. This is not easy to discuss. And there's nothing satisfying about it except that I avoid bottling it up and letting it fester longer than it already has. Because if that internalized shame stays repressed to fester any longer, I legitimately don't know what could happen.

-Pandemonum 🪁😺

[hungeringheart]

If you're still active can I have a Derse witch of hope analysis

Hi! I'm going through my backlog answering a bunch of asks (in appearance order). I'm sorry I took so long, a lot was happening! I have to say thank you for letting me have a reason to do another classpect post, I really liked doing that first one. I hope you like this!

Without further ado, let me make this as lovely an experience to read as it must have been to see the other one for you!

Let me teach you to wonder and worry,

Permit me to tell you how to wage war;

A creature's reach should exceed its grasp,

Or what's a heaven for?

- Leslie Fish, Lucifer

Regarding Hope

Homestuck frames Hope as a very powerful aspect. I would caution people against the assumption that it's always the most important variable in all games -- it was central to the kids' story in a way it may not be in other narratives -- but we get direct statements from Aranea about the power of Hope, and a number of people get stepped on by Hope heroes who shouldn't get stepped on otherwise. This is because, basically, an aspect that runs on not obeying limitations is really effective in a story about unfairly imposed limitations.

That's what I think Hope really means in context -- perseverance at any cost, the faint glimmer of possibility, the boundary between "is" and "might be", the ability to dream and want things you can't have, the part of the future you cannot see and have to trust in. In some respects all players have to learn Hope-type behaviours and understandings (to play the game at all you have to go in blind and trust in the idea it will all be ok), but Hope players have the inevitable certainty that what they're doing will have an effect... and honestly, considering the grind? They deserve it, probably.

I'm not a sadist; I enjoy just being able

To be a witness of

the loneliness

And be a higher power,

In case there isn't one...

In case there isn't one.

I'm not a higher power; I just live in the ceiling,

'Cause I'm lonely on the fringes

And it gives my life some meaning

In the exile -- in my exile.

- Paris Paloma, notre dame

Regarding Witches

Witches, like I've said here before many a time, change and change through their aspect; their task is to challenge and reform things and systems that aren't working. They're supposed to be opposed in this in some way; the operative symbolism here is the Biblical witch, who in context would have been a type of spirit medium, a person who could hypothetically see justice done, call up the victim's ghost, reveal that it wasn't justice at all and complicate things for everyone immensely; we should also consider the more recent witch, the one properly called by that name, and the overall imagery of the outcast and the distrusted.

As the Sylph is the benign and accepted side of this dyad, the Witch is the questionable, dangerous, unpredictable one -- after all, to "heal" and "repair" something sounds a lot less threatening to the people who built it than "fix" and "change". Even if those things are substantially the same in practice, sometimes.

A Witch of Hope, then, is a person who exists challenging common understandings of Hope -- an unusual Hope player who chooses to lean into being unusual, maybe in many ways even behaving like a Sylph of Doom. A Dersite Witch of Hope is one who doesn't accept the way of things or necessarily the framing of their aspect, and whose methods are perhaps more invasive and direct than some others' may be -- but in what way? Let's see.

Tired and worn from the patterns I've carved,

I will do better in the morning.

I'm afraid of who I'd be without you,

I will do better in the morning.

Twisting up smokes, I'm in control

'Til the fire burns down my miniature vacation

And I'm always left with the taste in my mouth --

I will do better in the morning.

- Birdtalker, Better in the Morning

A detour to Prospit

There's something that all Derse dreamers have in common, and we can best understand it in terms of the opposite.

Of course there is the official quiz writeup about the moon sway, which tells us they're all unified by a restless skepticism and an anxiety about time -- but outside of that, and actually maybe even ignoring that, have you noticed that both canonical Derse dreamers had a similarity of journey?

Dave and Rose's struggle throughout the game is essentially the same struggle -- the game is pretty dumb for some shit that has everybody by the scruff of the neck, and the thing that has to change about that before they can approach the problem is their own approach to the situation.

Now, see, Prospitian quests seem to be focused more on external things, connections, social markers of coming of age, the system as it's meant to help growing children -- and Dersites' quests are internally focused, typically between them, some deep thought and the relevant entities one by one. Rose's grimdarkness, Dave's time travel -- oh goodness, the time travel. Why is that?

The answer is probably why Prospit dreamers have a stereotype of being agreeable -- not necessarily, and they don't need to be whimsical extroverts the way that John and Jade are; they just have to be able not to push away people they need, whether because they love those people and were never hurt by them, or because they're afraid of and resigned to them... or because the invisible hand of the game has, like the proverbial monkey's paw, curled a finger.

Not to say that all players don't have to go through both a social and personal maturation before they can create a new universe, but the game might select an arbitrary sway for a person based on a perceived shortage in their life of that element.

In this school of thought, it's popular fanon that abused children are often Prospit dreamers -- they're already on a journey of struggle no one else can see before they play, and if they refuse to externalize it (like Dave does, thus his Derse sway) they end up dreaming on Prospit because the computer is a cheating bastard.

Skaia needs them in shape to play and exploits their sense of order (damaged as it is) to get them in a position to do it -- if you're already really good at accepting existential horrors in your personal life, what's a fantastical computer world of friendly lizards to you? More importantly, might puttering around looking after several thousand mentally deficient salamanders and befriending individual pawns from a culture that hates you (the multiplayer equivalent of forming the Felt) help you heal from the trauma of your own uncaring childhood?

A Derse sway then might mean a typically edgy sort of lone wolf or contrarian for any number of readily worldbuildable reasons, but it could also mean that this person has trouble trusting and relying on themself and their own instinct -- and what better way to sharpen that faculty than making them rely on it all night every night in their sleep?

Put it all together now:

A Dersite Witch of Hope is someone who has to make some internal changes and grow a little around the idea that the conditions and axioms of persistence and faith in their world are flawed; someone who is assigned the task of dreaming about and iterating on these things until they crystallize in some sort of a waking plan or indeed a hope for a way forward.

This person will not be unopposed in the external world, but their internal journey is about them individually, about how they digest the ideas they encounter and grow into the type of person they need to be...

All in all, a perfectly charming kind of thing to be -- and player to have in your game, don't you think?

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! It's no secret that I'm not a huge fan of wholegrains; they just don't taste the same as white rice (including delicious Japanese pearl rice *swoon*) and noodles. What I try to show is, leading a moderately healthy lifestyle doesn't entail eating what 'experts' recommend all the time. Firstly, life is short, why eat yucky food; and secondly, if we tick most of the boxes, we can still enjoy a high quality life. To me, this is a more sustainable way to be healthy; I'm able to stay on track for a very long time. Pa accepts this and is satisfied that I exercise daily, eat a lot of vegetables and enough quantities of nuts and fruit, as well as minimise saturated fat and salt intake.

Leading a moderately healthy lifestyle doesn't have to be expensive. I don't pay premium for gym memberships or wholegrains and don't eat legumes and lentils unless they're palatable but I'll eat tofu because it's yummy. Wholegrains, lentils, legumes, as well as olive and avocado oils weren't part of Grandma's regular meals and, hey, she lived till past 90! Calisthenics is free, I can do it at home, at the park or in a hotel room. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, like 'health experts' who shove wholegrains down our throats say, as if their 'studies' are the holy grail (side note: who's sponsoring their posts?). Sometimes good enough IS good enough.

I don't eat commercial salads because they tend to be overpriced, but eating enough vegetables isn't a problem. I cook them at home, canned ones work when I'm too tired to cook and our local hawkers serve up some of the yummiest veggie dishes at less than the price of fastfood. Leading a moderately healthy lifestyle has been our way of life even before the popularity of social media and fitness or wellness influencers and you know what? We Gen Xers who don't rely on fad 'health advice' are doing ok and our pockets are hurting less when everything costs so much more nowadays because we aren't paying extra for unnecessary stuff.

The narrative that it's my way or the highway that many 'health experts' spin is problematic to me because people can start to believe that if we aren't achieving perfection, we can't ever be healthy. There's a middle ground and at times that middle ground to everyday folks like us is the best that we can do. That's perfectly ok! In fact, living moderately healthy provides me with the best of both worlds. There's more flexibility, I don't feel discouraged just because I can't face a lifetime of wholegrains all the damn time and at 47yo, my health markers are fine. This says a lot more than those who eat wholegrains but aren't getting enough fibre and other nutrients in their daily meals.

My posts aren't monetised at all. Compare this to the 'health advice' given by 'experts' who may either be paid for their posts or quote 'studies' funded by parties with vested interests. Have you considered how much more you'll have to spend to achieve what they deem as 'health'? Exactly. Exercising doesn't really involve a lot of money as I've stated above and I've been doing it for a long time, at least over a decade. I don't need cute clothes or state of the art workout equipment in order to be active. Who cares about who else sees me working out? The most important thing is that I'm exercising regularly.

So my take on this is, you don't need to achieve perfection in order to lead a moderately healthy life. Eat well, eat your veggies, have balanced meals and exercise regularly. If it helps, I'm active at least an hour a day. Occasionally if you need a rest day, that's fine too. Cut down on salt, saturated fat and fastfood and you have a lot of leeway in between to adjust to a lifestyle that's suitable for you. I only follow health advice once I've done my checks because man, the misinformation nowadays! Leaving you with the video below because I mostly agree with what is being said. Good luck to you as you embark on your health journey. 下次见!

[notsp1derman]

a rambling review of sense and sensibility, by jane austen

[this contains spoilers for the end of the book. Proceed with caution]

"I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way."

As my second time reading Jane Austen, this experience was at the same time vastly different and, as expected, similar to Pride and Prejudice. For me it's impossible to analyze one without comparison to the other, them being books by the same author in the same setting, but I believe that doesn't demerit any of them. The plots have a lot of similarities too, and Austen estabilishes well her archetypes, but it was still different enough for it to not bother me.

While Pride and Prejudice's strenght lies in the sweet fantasy of falling in love with rich men that aren't complete assholes, and in opposing personalities that are very interesting to observe, Sense and Sensibility delivers much more of a moral and political discussion, far more directly too. The romance between the two main couples is almost secondary in face of the relationship between the sisters Elinor and Marianne, and their shared hardships in a social circle full of vain, egotistical and materialistic people. It almost feels as if the sisters, Elinor in specific, are there to be a model of how a woman should behave according to Austen, and are constantly put in situations that compare them against characters almost cartoonishly flawed with the worst of high society at the time. Even the impulsive and at times childish Marianne is vindicated when compared to her peers.

It's not like we don't get the classic tense moments of doubt for the feelings of the romantic interests here, and some yearning sighs and swooning there, but the focus is much more on the characters' hubris because of their flaws. This is expressed over and over through Willoughby's own demise and regret of breaking Marianne's heart; through the funniest irony possible for mrs. Ferrars after disowning his son Edward; so on and so forth. Even the better characters of the story — like sir John Middleton and mrs. Jennings — have their part in the drama, when their well intentioned nature melts into excessive meddling and a lack of tact bordeline offensive.

The answer Jane Austen gives to all these characters is an impressive growth for most of them, with reactions appropriate to the gravity of the turmoil the Dashwood sisters go through between London and Barton. Sir Middleton and mrs. Jennings repay their faults with true kindness towards the sisters, mrs. Ferrars tastes her own medicine and is forced to go back on her harsh words and accept some things she didn't want to, and Marianne most of all had the kind of maturing that only happens after a heartbreak, emerging as a better and less impulsive person that values her friends and family as much as finding the perfect husband.

The only one without this much development is Elinor, which is a shame considering she isn't a perfect character (though it sure feels like Austen is trying to tell us this sometimes). Still, I think it's ok for a piece of media to have characters that don't grow as much; we all have different paces, and Elinor was already very mature for her age.

These descriptions of stereotypes of high society, gossip and discussions of money and properties take up a good chunk of the book, which makes it kind of slow to catch up. Still, conversely to Pride and Prejudice, we get a strong message of the true nature of the rich. The lavish parties and gatherings turned stiff because of the atendees, and the supposed elegant ladies were either bitter and greedy or just plain annoying. But it was fun to have main characters that didn't keep up with all that bs for a change. The two sisters are definitely the soul of the book.

One of my only disappointments with Sense and Sensibility was, ironically, the romance. Edward Ferrars feels like a dull copy of Darcy, and was so removed from the general events of the book that I honestly didn't believe he would be the romantic pairing to Elinor until the last few pages. Even worse, the age gap between Marianne and colonel Brandon and her (implied) unrequited feelings for him until the very end irked me. I really loved Brandon as a character, but him and Marianne just didn't have a SINGLE drop of chemistry.

Still, even though there's little to complain, this book wasn't AMAZING to me either. The cast annoyed me more than entertained me, and I finished the book completely neutral about it. Though, I have to admit it: the plot twist of Lucy eloping with Edward's brother was very unexpected. The chaos of the latter 3rd of the book was my favorite part. Overall a fun book with a nice little message and nice main characters.

★★★☆☆

[kleinstar]

💎 - to try to steal something from your muse (food)

misc action memes (NOT ACCEPTING)

to try to steal something from your muse .

" What's hot and comes in pairs? "

Yuuji glances back to Eiden from the fridge. Back to his little brother Eiden's sitting at the kitchen table filling what seems to be a crossword.

" Isn't it boobs? "

" What. No? I don't think so...? " Eiden answers turning away to count the boxes, " the letters aren't right.... "

" Eh? But then what could it be?I don't know. "

Yuuji dives onto the fridge, stopping to stare at certain yellow gelatinous dessert with caramel on the top. After a moment of silence mostly filled with Eiden grumbling with the crossword he grabs it.

" Why are you filling that thing anyway? "

Yuuji walks over with the pudding, sitting opposite to Eiden.

" Isn't that like old people thing? " he continues as he peels the lid off.

Eiden rises his look from the crossword with a little disgruntled look.

" If we all followed stereotypes world and me both would look totally different! " he then says expression soon softening after, " but um. This one says we can win a free shopping trip! "

" Whoa for real?! "

" Well, not so lame anymore is it? " Eiden laughs flashing the usual smile, " I've been wanting to get some of those really expensive pudd--- "

Sentence dies midway as Eiden's eyes finally get a glimpse of what Yuuji's eating.

" You.... "

" Are you ok big bro? You're looking like somebody stole your tre----OH. "

Yuuji freezes as he realizes, he'd just got kind of gotten around eating them without asking. Fully expecting one of those not-really-harsh-at-all-whacks from his big brother he closes his eyes but somehow it never comes. Instead he can feel Eiden's steps turning to the fridge. As he opens his eyes Eiden's there with a certain bagel, in fancy wrappings and all... Specialty from local shop, very expensive and very delicious as far as he knows.

" Wait you can't--- "

" I think I've been pretty lenient y'know?! For several months! I really wanted to eat that today-- "

" Look there's still half left but listen big bro that's not, it's special one only sold today and--- "

" Well, then I'll just eat half of this!!! "

He reaches for a big, big bite - and truly it's delicious, almost decadent with the sauces and clearly fresh meat, bellpeppers, lettuce and some sort of decently vinegar-y hot sauce flowing within all that.

" ---it's not mine. "

It's Eiden's turn to freeze.

" Come again? "

" It's not mine..... "

Silence fall over the Itadori Household.

" ... is it good though? "

" ...huh? Oh yeah I mean you can taste here--- wait no you can't eat the whole thing....!"

And like this they share a dramatic moment of bonding over the eventual face of consequences.

Yuuji finishes the bagel, cleaning every last bite and then puts his hand over his big brothers shoulder.

" This way you don't have to be alone..."

Eiden's eyes turn into dramatic waterfalls.

" Big bro..."

" Little bro..."

And like that they share an embrace, forgetting about the eventual consequences for sometime until its in front of then.

[onewomancitadel]

Ok, to cap off my posts today, I may have posted on this topic before but I think there is a genuine problem with making arguments on terms that have been set by unreasonable interpretation. That is to say, in the instance of Cinder and Adam, they are not comparable in their role in the narrative and actual villains (or heroes) you might compare Cinder to, the fandom has decided is inappropriate (e.g. if you compare Cinder to Emerald you're diminishing Emerald's redemption arc). You're working on terms of narrative interpretation that is placing the wrong emphasis on the wrong components of the story and you're automatically sort of on losing ground, particularly if your thematic understanding of the story is completely at odds.

Cinder's role in the story as a Maiden is naturally going to be different from anybody else's.

I still think there are interesting things you can learn from it though (e.g. the posts I have made today about narrative space) and to some degree it is possible to reorient the discussion. The problem with stan culture is that it really becomes about your fave and how you project onto your fave and it's really not interesting lol. Probably the issue Emerald fans have with Cinder fans is any complexity afforded to Cinder breaks the illusion that Emerald did nothing wrong in the story (and it's the only way to make her redemption palatable to people uncomfortable with mixed-morality characters) and stan culture is unironically like 'my fave did nothing wrong'. It's true in a narrative sense in the idea that the characters couldn't be anything but what they are in order to service the conflict but it's certainly not true in the moral sense (and the only way you can explore moral idealism is by example and counter-example). You can't really recognise the tension between victimhood and villainy in the story because it's either someone completely absolved of it or someone who is forever bad. Once you break away from that dichotomy you can have much more interesting discussions. You'll note that I enjoy talking about these characters but I tend away from fandom assumptions.

Also just like, people who elide Emerald's character are boring lol. Same as I would hate Cinder's character to be elided for the sake of excusable victimhood. When you make them someone who is narratively disempowered then you make them less interesting, though it doesn't mean you can't recognise their suffering. The reason why I think characters like Cinder, Emerald, Raven, Winter etc. are interesting is because they made bargains in dire situations with mixed (and potentially disastrous) consequences and what they choose or have chosen to do in those situations are interesting. It's not to say they aren't victims in some way, but I'm not a fan of the pure vs. 'bad' victim dichotomy that afflicts the majority of tragedy p*rn-esque depictions of villains.

Getting a bit off track there. Point being that when you argue on terms set by someone else you're starting at a disadvantage and it's why fandom can be frustrating to navigate. If the interest is in 'proving a point about my fave, Adam' it's very different from 'proving a point about villainy in R/WBY' and it leads you to having to state absurdly simple statements like 'Adam is a secondary villain and Cinder is a major villain' lol. When someone already has an idea about what is or isn't acceptable according to their own tastes (e.g. Emerald's a-OK but only as a flattened character but Cinder isn't) it again puts you at disadvantage because you can't talk about the characters in a unique way. The dynamic of a scapegoat child herding more scapegoat children is kind of darkly hilarious because people think Cinder's a thirty-something mastermind when she's a young maiden lol. It doesn't negate the dynamic of Emerald-Cinder or Mercury-Cinder but it offers a little bit of a more interesting perspective.

But that's why even if I do enjoy criticising these approaches, I really try to prioritise a more fundamentally justified approach to analysing R/WBY especially with a holistic lense. E.g. Is Penny's death 'fair'? Is Ironwood's fall 'fair'? What do these mean in respect to the other character arcs in the story? They're contextualised by other narrative events, it's not really only about individual hurt. By the same stroke future character arcs or romances are contextualised by other character arcs or romances which is the argumentation undergirding Knightfall and Cinder's redemption. You want these things to be happening in conversation and other Jaune romances and no Cinder!redemption will reorient the interpretation of other events in the story e.g. I think Cinder's redemption justifies Ironwood's fall (hero/villain contrast across that volume); justifies Adam's depiction; is justified by other redemption arcs (e.g. Winter who is the Atlesian 'privileged' version of her situation); justifies Ozlem's redemption, etc.

Having some sort of thematic touchbase is pretty useful, but having to establish those terms over and over can be frustrating.

[glitterslag]

modern day!Eddie headcanons

perhaps i am soft launching my return to fic writing..?😳😳😳 i've been thinking about this since i made this post. And i have a LOT of thoughts ok 🥺👉👈

oh, and there's also a light smattering of eddie x reader somewhere in there🤠

Warnings: 18+ for mild sexual references and drug references

Ok so just for starters: 2022 Eds would ID as bisexual and use he/they pronouns, got it? Good.

He isn't necessarily all the way out at school, but he's not exactly hiding it either. His friends know about it, and Eddie can think of a certain couple of basketball jocks who definitely know about it (case in point, the captain of the basketball team who drunkenly tried to give him a handjob round the back of the house at a party once, who'd DIE if anyone ever found out about it (and Eds won't tell cause he's cool like that).

Eddie's struggled with honestly pretty debilitating ADHD since childhood, but thankfully it eventually got picked up on by the school after one-too-many trips to the behavioural unit. He got referred to the educational specialist and managed to get on meds in time for starting high school, so he managed to graduate in one try, even if it was by the skin of his teeth.

He'd enjoy history, physics and english lit, especially once he got more of a handle on his adhd and with good teachers who knew how to help.

I could write a whole separate post about Eddie's opinions of the books on the A Level curriculum, but I will say I feel like he'd get quite into some of the more gothic stuff like macbeth and wuthering heights

Sadly I think in regards to his popularity in school, not much would've changed since the 80s. Although I don't think people would be scared of him exactly (the whole satanic panic thing would've died down at this point and people would be more familiar with the metalhead subculture), he'd still get made fun of for being alt and for living in a trailer :/

But he'd still have a core group of good friends and I feel like he'd be a little more popular with girls, too, as it's so much more acceptable now for guys not to be a hyper-masculine stereotype.

I could also write a whole separate post based on eddie's music taste!! I think in 2022 he'd totally branch out from just metal. He'd be into people like bowie and maybe even the smiths (actually i think 80s!eddie would also be into these on the quiet). This might be my most controversial take but i also feel like he'd appreciate people like lana del rey, regina spektor, GRIMES, etc. He'd be into horror rap and maybe even some old school hip hop. He'd be into new wave and glam rock and space rock. Also anyone who's just a genuinely really skilled musician/artist, anyone who does like high concept stuff etc. Could also see him getting into really dark, atmospheric country music

I think he'd just be really knowledgeable about music in general, like a special interest

He'd definitely still be a metalhead first, though

HE'D MAKE IT TO COLLEGE

college is the only place i see eddie after high school. He'd definitely thrive there. Sadly the scholarship options aren't great as he doesn't play sports or anything, but hopefully he'd manage to get to a community college or get a low income scholarship or something similar

He'd BLOSSOM at college. He'd come out of his shell so much more with his style - he'd paint his nails and experiment with make up and get his ear pierced and all that kind of thing

Imagine you meet him in college and have so much fun spending your Saturdays thrifting, going to antiques stores and second hand book stores and record stores and comic book stores and board game cafes and arcades and exploring the local small music scene and swapping clothes and doing each others makeup and getting drunk and getting high and generally being public nuisances I- 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Matching tattoos. MATCHING TATTOOS

Imagine floating about in his band t-shirts and not much else

If you became a couple it'd be a given that you'd share a wardrobe. No matter what gender/size you are as his partner it's all good cuz like one of your shirts being huge and baggy on the other? Or tiny and cropped? No matter - you'd just be constantly exploring and experimenting and rebranding yourselves

to be honest you'd probably be the quintessential insufferable, pretentious hipstery douchbaggy college kids lol but like it's such a special time!!!!!! all can be forgiven cause what college kid isn't like that

Pulling all-nighters abusing his adhd meds and coke, probably to get essays finished.

Him and his group of friends probably wouldn't be the partying kind. More like staying up all night in someones dorm room smoking, drinking, etc, a baseball sock over the fire alarm so they don't set it off. They'd go on such douchey, existential, substance-fuelled RANTS thinking they were such philosophers and beat poets and the like

Speaking of philosophy, Eddie would probably minor in it. I think he'd probably choose something he felt was "practical" to major in in his first year of study, but end up switching his major with encouragement from his friends and teachers to like, music production or english lit or classics

Dark academia vibes for days🤪🤪🤪

I somehow feel like he'd be all over social media. He'd definitely have twitter and instagram and tiktok. He'd probably have like an instagram spam account where he just shit-posts all day

Would literally send you the. most. CURSED memes on the planet

He'd have the most elite taste in film - lots of classic horror and arthouse stuff

You'd have so much fun watching really low budget badly-acted slasher flicks, too, laughing your asses off the whole time

Of COURSE there'd be a D&D club at college, which Eddie would be all over, obviously. IMAGINE college D&D, it would be so fun with added alcohol. And don't get me started on the meme references. And he'd be in the campus library for hours making the most high-tech character sheets

And the best part? No-one would make fun of him for liking it cause hello it's 2022!!!!! And its college!!!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Eddie may have been the underdog in school, but when it comes to college? That boy is DROWNING in e-girl pussy, let me tell you. And he would get so much dick too. I think if single, college Eddie would be the biggest, happiest slut on the planet. In fact, he'd probably have people queuing up to be part of his D&D group

big BNOC energy

I feel like he'd amass a bit of a following on tiktok

Final thing: I actually think he'd get into sports in college. After he shakes off high school and the chip on his shoulder about his masculinity, he explores different sports clubs that he could potentially join and i can really see him doing something like hockey and getting all of his aggression out??? My other hypothesis is that he'd enjoy racket sports like maybe badminton or raquetball or something

that's it good night

[soup-mother]

i have more thoughts on this, which is that then if you're tired of "girls" media and want something people put more effort into your choice is basically just "boys" media, and then suddenly like oh great yay the game is more fun but why do i have to play as a guy now? and why are all the female characters just background characters or love interests?

like people treat masculinity is some neutral default, that shouldn't be a controversial statement. masculine language is seen as neutral and respectful (more acceptable to call someone "man" than "girl" for example), masculine clothing is seen as default (so "androgynous fashion" ends up just being masculine clothing, *maybe* with a skirt), and the crux of it: masculine interests and stories are treated as default.

a story where the guy saves the girl is seen as a "neutral" story, and this is going to swing at a giant hornets nest but that's why, in spite of gaming getting "more gender neutral" you still have shit like Zelda being a character entirely offscreen or in cutscenes and totally lacking agency even in TOTK, because it's still fundamentally operating on the idea of it being a "boys game" (just in disguise), and that having say a female protagonist would make it less "neutral" (masculine). does this make sense?

like especially on womens gaming reddits it's such a consistent theme of "i just want good games that are fun, like BG3 and stuff" like people's taste in games gets way more diverse and "neutral" while the storytelling and so on of those games stays masculine. and the majority of men haven't had to do any of that searching for games that respect them in the first place

idk, those are some additional thoughts. like the expectation that it's basically either "girls games" or "normal games" maaaaybe with "boys games" as like COD and stuff is very weird. it feels like at least to an extent things aren't necessarily getting more gender neutral so much as less obviously bright pink and sexist. and like... again as a trans woman like the majority of things people think would be "gender affirming" are kinda.....like childhood gender enforcement in cis girls, and "neutral" games largely still expect me to be a "man" which naturally i don't want, so there's a real struggle to find stuff that isn't shit basically. thankfully there's like a lot of lgbt especially visual novels and stuff but it's very like....if you're not a man and can't simply ignore the discomfort of pretending to be one for a while you're sorta out of luck.

ok manifesto over lol

i have very complex thoughts on this but one funny realisation about being a trans woman and a lesbian and wanting games and stories about women like me being loved, is that like struggle to find good gay media makes you realise how like.... straight women want better too? like the vast majority of stuff aimed at girls and women is sorta just insulting? like i modded Harvest moon so i can be gay but trying to play the default "girls" version just sort of felt like it didn't respect the player at all. like "here's some men, be happy with it".

and related is just how like....if I'd grown up as a girl it's not like i would have been happier. because everything girls are expected to like fucking sucks basically, it's patronising and has the most insulting "morals" and it's just like wow patriarchy sucks.

like it's hard to find "gender affirming" games etc because like.... a lot of stuff aimed at girls doesn't respect girls, and it's hard getting into the mindset that I'm not some alien outside invader for like... having an issue with sexism and not wanting to settle for insultingly patronising ideas of what "girls" are and want.

and while it's not on the same level, like being a trans woman and being exposed to so much media for "boys" and "men" felt almost disgusting? like it was going wink wink "this is what guys like us are into, aren't you a guy?". like you were expected to not have an issue with it and not want anything more...kind i guess? more genuine or focused on emotions? just "here's what men want, here's what women want, they're two seperate categories"

see also: how awful h scenes in eroge are, where like that appeal to the idea of what "men" should want and masculine fantasies genuinely just makes it unpleasant and shit. like wow we really believe in this gender bullshit? it ruins fucking everything lol.

anyway gender thoughts about media and capitalism and whatnot. gender ruins everything once again, you're not a "fake" woman or whatever for not falling for patriarchal brainwashing and being perfectly happy and content living up to perfect standards of aesthetics and beauty standards and acceptable hobbies. it's all just culturally enforced bullshit, turns out people just want games and stuff that are good and respect them and are fun.

[akookminsupporter]

Channeling unprocessed class and injustice rage through BTS and In the SOOP is a mistake, I think.

A lot of people have this problem about, very specifically, the soop 'mcmansions'. I get it, but that strikes me as slightly tinged with elitist snobbery and not so much about social justice at all. The phrase 'conspicuous consumption' means different things and looks different depending on the history and class identity of the persons in question. The idol industry itself often trades on aesthetics of beauty as well as certain fantasies of opulance. But it isn't very often I see other groups criticized in the way these 'mcmansion' sets have people criticizing. Is it really a question of social justice? Or one of taste? Do people require a simulacrum of modest means or 'relatability'? It is all a bit loaded.

I agree with your assessment about SOOP being a set, Rosie. Money was invested into a set, and it will probably be used for more than for more than a single purpose. It is no different from the remarkable practical sets that designers and builders make for many BTS MVs. Or maybe it is real estate they plan to sell or rent. Who can say?

People like to grand stand and make it sound simple, like they would for sure be more thoughtful and virtuous with that money if it was them etc. But that is about appearances. The appearances of the SOOP bother some people. The fact of Hybe being a billion dollar company doesn't? We say millionaires are alienating. Millionaires ARE alienating. And the whole concept of someone being able to be a billionaire and someone not being able to afford insulin or surgery in the same society should make everyone very angry. It is disgusting. No arguments. But BTS are neither the cause, solution or embodiment of those social problems. BTS are singers, dancers, composers, producers, artists and businessmen to some degree. They aren't going to solve the wealth gap by pretending to live in a small house.

We all have or don't have levels of privilege and access depending on a lot of factors. People criticizing HYBE's decisions probably also make individual financial decisions that would make others around the world and in their own country sick. Capitalism just be like that.

What I don't get is why people like to cherry pick certain expenditures and not others. Why is wearing a 2000$ jacket cool but building a set for a tv show not cool? A lot of people are hung up on a certain image or aesthetics of wealth. It can be seen in the old money vs new money binary. Is it ok to have millions sitting in the bank as long as you don't wave it around? And why do some artists get a pass but others don't? Do some people fit the societal 'rags to riches' myth better than others, so it is more acceptable for them to give tours of closets full of Birkins?

If BTS lived in more "tasteful" and modest accommodations during their stay in the SOOP, would that avoid the criticism? Maybe it is the aesthetic of opulance that people find vulgar. But isn't just cosmetics? Bts are still spending loads of money on everything to do with industry and treating themselves too, as wealthy people do. Cash is invested into the business, and cash gets made. BTS and Hybe are responsible for the existence of many jobs. That's a good thing. The SOOP houses are a drop in the pond compared the the flow of all that is going on there.

Look into the work practices and manufacturing processes of any given company and there may be questionable things. It is extremely rare, maybe even impossible, for consumerism to be 100% ethical. Where do the products you own come from? Who is getting paid what to make them? Who has majority shares of the company? Is any of this even avoidable? (I don't know because I am not an social scientist, economist or some kind of genius).

People see celebrities as symbolic of the best and worst of society and wealth disparity. It is like Marie Antoinette syndrome or something. It can get dehumanizing when people are turned into symbols of vulgarity or purity, waste or virtue.

In my opinion people concerned about the nightmares of late capitalism shouldn't look to BTS as their conduit of rage. That energy could be better spent elsewhere. To me, BTS are a net good. They make millions of people genuinely happy. They make beautiful art and connect a lot of people. They give back to society and have a record of being socially conscious. A mcmansion isnt going to change any of that.

OPINIONS.

[hopes-peak-postal-company]

saw yttd in the fandom list. may i perhaps get an angsty letter from mod tsumugi written by sou?

anon you,,, omg

but to be honest with you, thank you for being my first yttd request! sou is one of my favorite characters. he's quite an interesting one to analyze and understand, isn't he?

i'm not sure if you've made it up to the most recent chapter, so i'll leave a larger cut for this letter in particular since it'll include spoilers for chapter 2-2's ending!

(angst isn't my strong suit but the motivation to finish this was stronk.)

a knock on your door interrupts your reverie. it's kanna.

"h-hello. i know you want some time alone to yourself, but there's something sou told me to do after... that. i'll leave it out the door for you when you're ready."

her footsteps gradually disappear. you open the door and find a cellphone opened in the notes app. it's titled with just your name on it...

you've received a letter?

entering your room again, you sit on the bed and read through it...

If you're reading this, I'm most likely dead now, aren't I? Wow, I think I felt chills reading that. Or it must be because of the air conditioning in this facility. I don't really know. But no matter the circumstances were of how I went, it's not your fault or anything, yeah? I was meant to die sooner or later anyway.

Gosh, this must be embarrassing, right? I'm sure it looked way cooler when the movie protagonists did it.

I just wish I could have been stronger like you. Just kidding! Unless...?

All jokes aside, is it weird that I started tying this on a whim after giving up on finding another way out? Everyone's scared faces, the large rocks, how we all lost hope so quickly, it all meant just one thing to me: I'm next. I've spent at least more than 3 nights now tossing and turning, thinking about the horrible ways I'm going to die in here. But when I think of you and Kanna, I don't feel afraid at all. You two have a better chance at surviving in this hellhole than I do, and I should be sulking about how unfair that is right now like when I was first given the survival percentage papers. Yet, here I am doing everything I can to protect you both, even if it means risking myself. Have I gone insane and accepted my fate this quickly?

(OK, maybe that was an exaggeration. Please don't remember just the cringy stuff I've said.)

Tragic, isn't it? I still even speak in the present tense, knowing I'm probably already done what I've talke about here.

If it isn't much of a hassle, can you take care of Kanna for me? During our time here, she's become like a sibling to me. You don't need to look after her 24/7, that is. Im sure she can handle herself well without me. As long as I die knowing you two are safer, I'm fine with whatever's in store for me beyond.

In the case that you get out, that's alright too... I guesss. Forget about everything that happened here and live a good life. Not that I'm telling you to live out your life for me too. Live out your life not to end up like me. Eat good food, meet some nice people, grow old and happy, all that jazz. May I shamelessly recommend you the seaweed soup at [redacted] Street? I swear it'll taste amazing. With all the messed up stuff we've seen here, it'll take some time to recover. You're a really strong person to have made it this far, though.

This became longer than i intendef. I don't thikn I can carry on typing any longer. How lng has it been since I last fell asleep properly in here? I know it all sounds so half-assed and last minute, but I believ in you. You'll make it out there. If reincarnation does exist, let's all meet again and get close in a world without the Death Game, yeag? I'll be waitingg

-Shin Tsukimi

[system-society]

hello,, kinda struggling n could use some advice ! we suspect we are a median monoconscious system. i have questioned this many times n i've chalked our experiences up to delusions, genderfluidity, adhd, etc. but we're questioning again,, n it's really freaking me out ! i don't know if they're real or if i'm actually a system or if i'm imagining it,,,, whenever we ask for advice people are like "well obviously you are/aren't, you experience [x]" n i just. don't know (1/3)

Heya anon! That sounds pretty frustrating, and I'm sorry this is causing you so much distress /gen

As for advice, I'd like to preface we also have ADHD, delusions and are genderfluid! We were stuck on our own plurality for a hot minute because of that too, so let me assure you first that you are not alone in this.

First off, anyone that tells you you are/aren’t something leaves a bad taste in our mouth. It’s probably in good faith, but they don’t know everything about you, and therefore can’t say for sure. I would highly suggest not staying around people that act that way, while trying to help they can ultimately do more harm if they tell you something wrong.

Another thing to assure you is that you don't need to have an innerworld, amnesia, or need to be super distinct to be plural! There are many plurals we've met who don't have experience any of those, and some plurals/multiples who'd rather not call themselves a system/seperate people. These are all valid ways to be multiple!

And for your switches, switches aren't always clean and short! Sometimes they're very long and messy, and that's ok. It doesn't make you any less plural. (As a monocon system, I want to let you know our system is the same way with switches, and I’ve heard it‘s quite common in other monocons. Unless someone comes barreling to front, there’s a large period of blurriness to switch to someone else. -♟)

What I will ultimately say to you is that "plural" and "system" are self-identifiers. I& can't just tell you you're plural, that's for you to decide. If you want to take up that label, go ahead! We can offer you some supportive and welcoming communities for you to engage in if you'd like! If you later find out you don't like that label, that's also ok! Identity is fluid, and ultimately up to you to figure out. Making a mistake or growing out of a label is completely normal and ok.

We hope you're able to find some solace and comfort soon, anon. Your experiences are valid and you are not alone in them. /gen

-🌩

Hello love! we'd like you to know that first of all, you will always know yourself better than others. You have the right to self identify with whatever may bring you the most comfort. Plurality is a messy experience and it can be very hard to pin down the 'right' way to be plural, because there isn't one.

We also have adhd, rather intense dissociation, and we tend to be on the blurrier side of things plenty of the time. Something that's helped us is acknowledging when we're feeling that way, and tracking it, however way we see fit at the time. There's no harm in extending a method of communication to potential headmates, it might even help create a more welcoming space for them, should they be having trouble communicating. We also have lots of trouble distinguishing amongst ourselves because lots of us were only formed for very specific tasks or purposes, or we're fragments of other headmates.

I wish we had a solid answer for you, but the truth is that it's a very long journey and we're not even near done with it ourselves. Something that can help is being sure to surround yourself with people who will accept however you choose to label yourself. The kindest thing you can do is allow yourself to not have all the answers, and the kindest thing others can do is trust you to know yourself.

That's partially why we don't id with the word system, actually :'] it's not something we're comfortable with because we've found certain aspects of how plurality is 'supposed' to work, very limiting. And that's okay! Plurality is something you define on your own terms.

We hope this made sense! Apologies for the word salad pft /lh /gen

-🌉

[angelive-40]

[ID: Eight images of Tumblr posts, reblogs, and tags. I’m only including the necessary tags.

Image 1: Tumblr post and tags that reads: "thought crimes aren't real" is only meant for fiction, not something for pedos/zoos/necros to use as an excuse for their fucked up fantasies involving real people/animals.

#putting this in the proship tag #because some of you are nasty for being supportive of such fantasies

Image 2: Tumblr reblog that reads: Proshippers are so afraid of the word "anti" that they will bite their lip while predators flood into their space and brainwash their friends. It's ridiculous frankly.

Image 3: Tumblr post and tags that reads: "ERM!! You cannot go on blocking sprees in the pro para and radqueer tags because what about their feelings? You're anti disorder if you don't accept them in your space 🥺."

I do not care, I'm blocking everyone that pisses me off and makes me feel unsafe.

#idc if y'all are "anti-contact" because y'all like lying about that #because you want to follow minors most of the time #and no #you being a MAP/Zoo/Necro isn't the same as being queer stop with the bullshit #I support yall getting therapy but still paraphilias shouldn't be normalized specially in spaces with vulnerable people like minors #or past victims of abuse

Image 4: Tumblr tags that reads: #like genuinely fuck off 😭😭 #and yet somehow we are compared with these pedos like cmon now we hate them as much as yall do #pedophiles are not allowed in this community fuck off child molestors..

Image 5: Tumblr post that reads: Why are so many proship accounts accepting paraphiles and radqueers with open arms? I thought we were against that nasty shit. You know, separating fiction from reality, so why the hell are y'all accepting people who don't know how to differentiate the both of them? Y'all are fucking up this movement BIG TIME. I won't sugarcoat what l'm going to say, Y'all are being mentally SLOW AS FUCK, this is why we have such a bad fucking rep because of these fuckers and y'all being stupid. Fucking nasty

Image 6: Tumblr post that reads: seeing posts like "safety tips for minors in the propara community!" and i'd like to make one of my own!

get the fuck out of the propara community. you're not a paraphile, you're an impressionable and vulnerable child in a 'community' of people who have a lot of members that derive sexual pleasure from real life minors just like you, yes even the ones who say they're 'anti-contact. profiction and propara are not the same thing, and any propara person or even profic person who says they are is dangrous and you should not fucking speak to them. im being serious, get out of propara spaces if you're a minor and never look back.

Image 7: Tumblr text that reads: literally. I hate what is becoming of the proship tag here because all of this just proves antishippers right. that proship = supporting pedophilia/incest etc. when it's only suppose to be about supporting fiction

i hate this. I hate how selfish and horrible these people are. (before pro para proshippers take me out of context. these people aren't horrible for their attractions/disorders or whatever. They're horrible for forcing people into being comfortable with them taking over the tag)

Image 8: Tumblr post that reads: bro if i see one more pro-para/radqueer/cosang blog in the proship tag im gonna lose it.

did we as a community just forget that we're founded on not judging people for their *fictional* tastes? why are there people talking about how wanting to have sex with your real life family members or animals is ok in the tag? why arent we warning others to avoid and report these people?

did we forget about how this site used to be overriden by 'MAP's who hid behind the various pro-Igbt tags? why are we letting that kind of stuff come back and make us look bad by being in our community and co-opting/corrupting our beliefs? have we just lost the plot already?

we shouldn't tolerate or accept 'zoos, pedos, radqueers, and cosang people in the proship community. i promise yall that you're not forsaking the values of profiction/proship when you gatekeep people who think children or animals can consent and other genuinely harmful people from the community.

Please Reblog This Post

End ID]

I hate these posts.

either you are AGAINST the idea of thought-crimes, or you're not. just bc someone's a paraphile does NOT make them any kind of offender. being proship, you almost HAVE to be pro-(anti contact) para, because part of being proship is recognizing that your imagination also can't hurt anyone.

ignoring all that, though, the other glaring issue is that these are the exact arguments antis make towards us. calling people predators with no proof, saying paras should "keep it private", that paras are trying to "groom" people into believing their paraphilias are good. replace "paras" with "proshippers" and you've got the same dumb arguments WE'VE BEEN HAVING FOR YEARS.

EVEN FURTHER THAN THAT, what happened to using the block button? why do y'all forget all about that as soon as it's a paraphile, or at minimum, someone you DEEM to be a paraphile. y'all are no better than the people you are against.