#people are more convinced than eved that they're exes

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D) (old)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[frogsandfries]

Oh wow, do some of us have jobs?

Oooooh, my biscuits are on FIRE, I'm so fucking mad right now.

((Oh! Oooh ooh! Look at this!!! I cad add cuts!!!))

It's fine. This will be fucking behind me in literally just a couple days.

This time was not a waste of my time or my life. I learned a quantum leap worth of money skills and life choices. I learned how to be stable all on my own and how to build a great rental history. I've even built my own credit.

I tried to teach my spouse how to be a better roommate, how to not get evicted for living in a garbage can, and it really is their loss that they like to live in near-squalor. I can wish all I'd like, as hard as I can, that this ex had just been honest with me "I like living in filth; I will not clean up after myself; I expect you to clean up after me", but I can't read minds. I can't force people to be honest--even with themselves.

It is not my fault that my ex did not want to be in this relationship.

It is not my fault that my ex spent the entire relationship trying to grind me down so that I would give over to what they wanted.

It may partly be my fault that my ex targeted me for my shit self-esteem and not even pretending that I value and respect myself. But another thing this relationship has reinforced for me. I'm going to therapy, I'm going to resume doing the work after this move. I am going to be a better person, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. It is not my responsibility to hold my ex to the same fire. Once they are out of my life, their lack of humanity is not my problem. Their cruelty is not my problem or my responsibility.

It is not my fault that this person did not like our respect me enough to compromise on things that I continued to insist and reiterate that were important to me.

It is not my fault I was a rebound and I was not valued by this person. This breakup has caused me to see that I am valued, and I deserve to value myself.

The cool thing is, I can totally sit on my ass all day and still earn a paycheck. Using my newfound money skills, I can still take my vacation to Omega Mart and get souvenirs and everything. Every last dime is now fully my responsibility. I decide how often I order or go out to eat. I decide how and what I'm investing into my home. I decide how and what I'm investing into my hobbies and pleasure and recreation.

I will figure out the fertility situation for my goddamn self. I was all but a full-time babysitter and nanny from the time I was seven years old. I learned more than I wanted or should have been learning then, and as a child, I already knew ways I didn't like being treated by adults. As an adult, I've been absorbing better parenting methods and techniques.

No one well ever convince me that I will be an awful parent. Not even people who could never fucking imagine the childhood I survived. My child will never be neglected, and my child will never be verbally abused or torn down. My child's body will be their own. I'm not afraid of being a parent. I have no reason to fear being a parent.

I do have reason to fear being stuck in this eternal cycle of abusive partners who will gaslight me and then yell at me about gaslighting them. Partners who refuse to compromise or show me that they actually love, treasure, cherish, value me. Not just their vision of me, their fantasy.

I am an adult, attempting to date adults. Unfortunately, not everyone old enough to live without their parents should be. I am not a substitute parent to adults. I don't have the energy to take care of other adults.

I was so fucking stupid for trusting my money to a liar, a suspicious, hate-filled person. Liars lie, and that's all they know how to do. Lie, take advantage of people, use them for all they're worth, and move on to the next, higher-value target. Every time I'm lied to and use just hardens me against the next person, and maybe this is a personal fault. And I guess I lied too. I never loved this person. I kind of wanted to, eventually. Every time I let them talk, they drove me away. Every time I tried to metaphorically trust fall into their arms, they failed me. My loss, is that I never followed my gut and rescinded what little trust had already been extended.

[harrysmimi]

We'll Deal With It When We've To

Synopsis: One where Harry asks his girlfriend a very serious question.

More of my work

Being able to feel like home was something Harry was in search of. No doubt London will always be home. But it's just a place. The house he lived in London started to feel more like a house than a home when the world was shut down due to the pandemic. Like the walls of his massive house wanted to cave in on him when he's there alone.

But eventually everything started to get back on track. That's when he met his darling.

He was in London to film My Policeman. He'd met her at a cafe in the town where he lived. Starting off as acquaintance, they became really good friends. He got to know she is a professor teaching finance to UG and PG students at the London Business School. She's extremely smart with a masters in her name and now a PhD on it's way. She had accomplished so much just of 22.

She lived alone in London with her cat, Dorothea. A big and hardcore fan of one of his Ex which Harry found adorable that she even named her cat after a song. Her little studio flat near her University which was a new home for Harry for most of the time he was there. Though he slept over, he liked to hang out with her there. Dorothea was pretty welcoming of him as well. Plus YN made some amazing food!

They shared so much things in common, both of them liked going on morning runs, drink black coffee, obsessed — though it would be an understatement — with The Notebook, read books. Though she read memoirs by Business personalities for her classes, and he liked to read novels and novellas. Romantic novels to be exact, especially since he have met her.

For the longest (by longest means till just weeks before he had to leave for Italy) Harry had gotten the courage to ask her on a date and confess his budding crush on her.

It seemed that everything was going too fast when both of them decided to make things official and exclusive.

Well, Harry wanted her know that everything he had with her was just for her, for as long as they're together. He'd fallen in love with her the moment he talked to her at that cafe. But it was on a facetime call that YN had accidentally slipped an I Love You for the first time. Harry was over the moon to hear that.

The long distance till the month of November was the hardest part. Especially because Harry was dreading to say those three words to her in person and hug her and cuddle her and kiss her till his heart feels full. But due to their schedules it was a little hard.

But they spent Christmas and New Years in London when he was back home. That's when YN met his family for the first time in person. Just a quiet dinner at his mum's house with a bunch of Christmas movies. Many childhood embarrassing stories were shared to YN by Anne and Gemma about the boy. The childhood album was taken out on New Year's Eve.

They celebrated both of their birthdays at her flat. And mostly stayed there.

The space was small, intimate. Just enough for two people and a cat. Home which Harry never wanted to leave. YN was his home that he never wanted to leave.

And of course, Dorothea who loved him dearly too.

They have talked about their future together, like every other couple did. But it seemed so legit with YN. Like it wasn't a fever dream that's going to break once he wakes up his slumber when he doesn't remember falling asleep.

He's had everything figured out. Proposing to her after his tour ends this year. And they've talked about getting married for sure.

The month of April, Harry was going to perform at Coachella. And he'd somehow convinced his girlfriend to go with him. He'd rented a whole Airbnb for just two of them, with a beach view and their own swimming pool. Also they've got their thrid anniversary coming up during the second week of Coachella.

......................................................................

A sunny day in LA, a nice day to camp out for a picnic at their backyard. With coffee and bunch of summery fruits. Rehearsals for Coachella were exhausting that he was lied back, relaxing whilst his girlfriend painted his nails (he offered to paint hers but she doesn't like nail polish).

"Do you wanna go on a little vacation after this?" He asked.

"I can't take any more days off," YN said, "plus this is like a little vacation."

"Is it?" He said.

"Yeah, I've never been to America before." She shared, "thank you for bringing me with you."

"You don't have to thank me baby," he smiled looking at her, she was very much concentrated on painting his last pinky nail and blow on it as if it is going to make it dry any quicker. She placed a kiss on the back of his hand. "Come on lay here with me."

"You're going to mess up your nails," she pointed out.

"I won't," he moved to make more space for her on the picnic rug. She lied on her tummy next to him resting her head on his chest.

"Are you coming home after the festival?" She asked.

"Yeah, since we can't go on vacation now." He said, "we can go during your year end break, how does that sound?"

"Yeah that sounds fun." She agreed, "where do you wanna go?"

"Wherever you want." He shrugged.

"I don't know," she chuckled hesitantly. Lifting her head up she propped herself on her elbows.

Yeah she earned more than enough to survive but it was going to take a huge toll on her bank account, plus she still needed to pay for tuitions as she's in midst of getting her Doctorate. Even this festival thing, even though her boyfriend have gotten her free passes she still have to pay for her own things. She'll have to start saving up for this upcoming vacation to wherever from the exact moment.

"Don't you have anywhere to go on your bucket list? We can go there." He suggested.

"I haven't thought about it yet," YN said. Pushing his hair out of his forehead. "London was definitely one of the places now I can't remember the rest."

"You wanted to go roam around the streets of Istanbul in hopes of seeing that actor you gush over." He teased her.

It was a huge thing when they both first met. YN would make him watch these Turkish series and movies with her with her favourite actor, fangirling over every little thing that actor did. Along with Succession, she made him watch that too. And yeah not to forget her favourite Bollywood movies.

"Urgh! If we do, I'll be passing away in peace!" She isn't going to let him get to her this time.

"Don't do that, because I need ny girlfriend with me." He pouted.

"Why are you jealous?" She cooed with her cheeky smirk.

"I'll go walk around on the streets of Mumbai in hopes of bumping into Deepika Padukone." He huffed.

"Oh please, she's so darn gorgeous, tell her that I'm a huge fan." She started fangirling.

"I can never win," he sighed shaking his head in defeat.

"Do you want to at To Be So Lonely on your setlist?" She asked. "'Cause miss the shape of your lips, you'll win, it's just a trick. This is so I'm so not sorry for simping over Deepika Padukone." She sang his song.

"God, I'm never teasing you again now!" He chuckled.

She laughed, "I love you."

"I love you more." He reciprocated.

He loved when his girlfriend wore his clothes. Currently she's wearing his yellow shirt with big white flowers on it, the one he wore in Watermelon Sugar and a pair of loose Nike shorts. She lied down next to him on her back properly as it was would not hurt her back for next two weeks. Though they were in the shade of a tree sun was still getting into her eyes, to block that Harry propped himself up on his elbow next to her. He's got sunscreen on.

"Oh did I tell you about this incident..." And she started ranting about this thing happening at Uni which got slightly in trouble. Walking in on students engaging into sexual activities is something which is not allowed on campus property. Every classroom has got cameras, even the ones which were not often used. YN did settled with the students who begged her to not report them. But she was called in by the principal and she had to tell the truth to keep her job, those students were left on a strict warning and it was all good. That happened right before YN had to get to her's, drop her cat at her friends for two weeks and then head over to Harry's. It was a chaos. Harry carefully listened to her each other, what else he have to do? And what else was better he'd do instead of listening to his pretty girlfriend rant?

When they were staying at hers, he'd listen to her share random and weird and sometimes bizzare stories which happened over her teaching career. Some very gossipy, some very sad, and very funny. He'd have at least one story to hear before they drift off to sleep every night.

"That's what got you late?" He asked.

"Mhmm," she nodded, "now I know why professors show no mercy!"

"Have you been in those kinda situation?"

"Oh hell to the no bro," she exhaled a dramatic puff of air, "the most I've gotten in trouble for at school or college was that I never, I mean never submitted my projects and assignments on time."

"You're smart one, wasn't expecting that from you for sure." He commented.

"I used to procrastinate a lot," she smiled sheepishly. "I dunno I passed even my first semester."

"I never turned in my assignments on time too," he shared, "I still passed highschool though."

"You're Harry Styles!" She rolled her eyes, "of course there isn't a thing you're bad at."

"You're really gonna give me an ego, darling." He chuckled. "Have I told you that you look extra pretty today?"

"Why just because I gave your ego an accidental boost?" She asked.

"Meanie!" He huffed, "but doesn't change the fact that you look extra pretty today." He winked.

It was their own way of communicating. People always thought they're being super mean and rude to each other when in reality both of them are nust joking and very well known where their personal boundaries are.

"I love you!" She laughed, pressing a gentle kiss on his mouth.

Taking the advantage of his position, Harry didn't let pull away. He deserves more kisses. Period.

As on autopilot, his hand went up to cup her jaw. Pad of his thumb drawing soothing circles on apple of her cheek. YN rested her head back, wrapping her arms around his neck. Little slither of the tip of his tongue on her lower lip was enough of a signal for her to open for him. It wasn't to lead to anywhere sexual, especially when Harry felt the tips of her soft fingers massaging soothing circles on the back of his head. Later only to realise she was running out of air and he should probably give her time to breathe and take in a few breaths himself.

"Let me breathe," she chuckled.

Harry just sighed resting his forehead on hers. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?" She nodded.

He finally gathered all the bits of courage he have to ask what he have been wanting to. It was terrifying. Though he was most certain there wasn't even a ounce of a chance for a rejection. He lifted his head to look at her.

"You remember how we always talk about getting married and having kids?" He asked.

"Mhmm," she nodded again.

"Well, let's keep the kids thing out just for now." He cleared his throat to buy himself sometime, "what you still think about us getting married?"

"I still want us to get married," she said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I just wanted to ask again." He could feel his skin warming up, but not due to sun, "if I were to ask you to marry me, would you say yes? I, I know it's a huge commitment. I understand if you don't feel ready yet."

"Of course I would definitely say yes," she gave her honest answer, "if I can remember I was the one who brought up the topic the first time around. We later joked about it but I was very serious."

"Were you?"

"Yeah!" She was pretty nervous now as to why he was asking this all of sudden. "Do you not want to?"

"Of course I do baby. Just wanted to ask," he cooed softly caressing her worried face, "at least want to ask your brothers for their blessings and respect your culture. Had to make sure you're happy with it, at the end of the day it's you I want to be happy. That should be first priority if we I want to marry you."

"I don't know why I thought you were going to break up with me. But yeah, I want marry you." She laughed sheepishly when her vision blurred out due to tears pooling up in her eyes.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." He cooed again.

"I'm not," she defended, "I'm not, I promise."

"Haven't got a ring yet but you'll get it soon." He warned her.

"I don't want it. I'm already saying yes," she pouted.

"But you deserve one." He defended with a kiss on her pouty lips. "I love you so much!" And he peppered her face with sloppy kisses.

"I love you so much too!" She squirmed under him feeling ticklish. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you wanted to keep having kids out for now, don't you want that now?" She asked.

"I do, but not anytime soon. I don't feel emotionally and mentally ready for a life long commitment to a child, sorry I couldn't communicate that properly." He explained, "but yeah, I do wanna have kids. With you."

YN's always been open about important it that she wants kids of her own, biological or adopted. Harry knew that must have gotten her a little worried.

"It's okay." She shrugged, "we can always get more cats."

"That's always an option, yes." He couldn't help but agree. "Are you still going to that concert on Monday?" He asked as it seemed she's got nothing else to talk about. He loved to hear her talk his ears off.

"I don't know, my friend got me passes. I just don't wanna go alone." She said.

One of her friend works with her favourite band now, she had surprised YN with the passes to their concert in LA on her birthday. Her friend was certain that Harry's going to drag her to LA with him.

"I can go with you," he suggested.

"Then people are gonna know." She pointed out.

"I'm not going to miss out spending time with my girl 'cause of that." He told her. And oh that pet name gave her real butterflies, "and we're just going to a concert."

"Are you sure?" She seemed scared of something.

"Yeah," scooted closer to her, "what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she avoided looking directly at him or she would start crying. "You know people knowing just scares me. Especially the media stuff."

"You don't have to worry about that my love, the best we can do is ignore all of that." He told her. "Hey look at me?" With his hand rested on her cheek he made her look at him, "we don't have to worry about what so far in the future, okay?"

"Yeah, but like almost all of my students are like hardcore fans of you. It just gives me anxiety to even think about that." YN shared, her voice shakh as she tried to hold back her tears.

She have seen the things being said to his ex-lovers. Afterall she listened to him as well, she wasn't just that dedicated of a fan. It scares her to go through the same thing when she's totally unaware of media and online harrasment which comes with being in entertainment industry.

For other reason being her family. She doesn't have the closest and nicest relation with her family. Except for her two elder brothers. She hated to be part of that family, especially because of her step mother who fit into every typical and cliché category of evil step mothers. Her own mum wasn't a saint per se. That was the only reason for her to move to a completely different continent and cut ties with them. Or else she would be living a very luxurious life at her millionaire dad's house and work at a very higher and nicer paying job role at his company.

She didn't wanted her step mother to know or she'll get to witchery shit and get to ruining her life even more. Plus Harry's fans were crazy and she's constantly surrounded by them at her job. But that was the least she was worried about, because her students wouldn't do be brave enough to say anything to her as all their grades for her subject in her hands. They'd be too scared to say a thing.

The thing is, Harry is yet to meet her brothers (who are actually nice to their only baby sister). It would create a whole new whirlpool of mess before that.

"We don't have to go public then," Harry said, "anyway I love going on our secret little rendezvous, and hanging out with Dorothea."

"Okay," she nodded.

"Hey, I promise it'll be okay. I just need you trust me, okay?" He pressed a kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah," she nodded again.

"You still look worried to me baby, come on you can tell me everything you know that." Harry pressed knowing she's probably never going to talk about things bothering her.

"It's nothing, jist worried about my dad and both my mum's finding out." She said, "especially my step mother. You know she's a bitch."

"Yeah, I know that," he nodded.

"Hmm, she's going to make our lives a living hell."

"We'll deal with it when we have to," he smiled, "for now tell me what you wanna do today and what you want for dinner? It's your turn today I believe."

"Yeah, do you want to get pizza?" She asked.

"We're getting pizza," he agreed.

"Let's go for run on the beach now," she suggested already getting just to plopped back down when Harry pulled her back down. She fell flat on he ass, "ouch!"

"I'm sorry, you alright?" He didn't meant to laugh. "I'm sorry," he chuckled holding close. "I've got another thing we can do instead of going on a run?"

"I've got another thing we can do," she mocked his accent jokingly. For some reason she liked to annoy him back for teasing her all the time.

"I do not sound like that," ge gasped.

"Yes you do," she laughed.

He was going to attack her with tickles before she fled the place. Harry was quick to run after her.

"Harry stop!" She said running around the pool.

"Are you going to stop?" He put up a condition.

"No you're going to tickle me!" She tried to dodge him but Harry sped up his steps. Grabbing her he attempted to throw her in the pool but YN was smart enough to pull him down with her.

"Fuck, it's cold!" Harry shivered as he came up on the surface following his girlfriend who was holding onto him tight as she doesn't know how to swim.

"Can you believe it, we don't have a Jacuzzi!" She said making him laugh.

"You're not funny," he joked. He wondered how her brain is weirdly wired that she get out random references to every situation.

"Hmm I can see, now get us out of here." She demanded.

"You can get down, it's not rhat deep." He told her as he was stood there in neck deep water with his feet touching the floor of the pool.

"Dude you're six feet tall! I'm barely five-six and I can't swim," she clung to him as he tried to put her down. He wouldn't let go of her his love like that, he was just joking.

"There's enough room for you, I won't let you drown baby." He started making his way out of the pool.

......................................................................

They spent their weekend and next week being lowkey, at their Airbnb. Just leaving the house as Harry surprised her by taking her to the Warner Bros studio on their anniversary. And it was her first time in LA, she have to go to all these places. He had assigned that job to himself.

As for YN, she was keeping an eye on her very unpredictable boyfriend who can pop the question again with an actual ring next time. But she also made sure to have fun with him.

Harry seemed to not care about anything with people knowing now. He can't stop living his life just for that reason. He's a human at the end of the day. He's going to be very unapologetic for being himself and living his life.

[pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow]

People are gonna inevitably think this is a skwistok thing rather than my weird obsessions with the concept of morality but hear me out:

- Angel Skwisgaar who is angry that he technically can't actually create things or have a free will spitefully turns himself into a 'human' and lives on Earth in an attempt to fugue out things like ability to produce original content.

- While there, he meets a very confusing demon Toki, who's here after running from Hell when his family tried to put him into the 9th circle for 'treachery' (read: not being able to be a cruel and vicious killer 24/7) for all eternity.

- Toki technically has free will, but no real experiences with the world around him or any world that isn't whichever one of the circles he's been shoved into for a supposed crime of being hungry when not fed for centuries, or crying from pain, or just because his family is utterly convinced he deserves it for some reason or another. Skiwsgaar, however, knows literally nothing about Toki's past beyond him being a demon, and is mad as hell that this yutz gets to have creativity and he doesn't.

- Cue a lot of Skwisgaar 'creating' songs based on algorithms of past music (like a computer) and Toki adding small tweaks/finishing touches so the song is more 'human'. Toki always plays rhythm/backup.

- The exchange Toki demands for bringing Skwisgaar's songs to life is that he is given protection and a room with food and crash courses in how to interact with the world around him.

- Their appearances are based off of human media because Skwisgaar wanted an appealing vessel and Toki found a form that was inconspicuous to normal people but cute to himself. Among other details, Skwisgaar hides that he actually has six wings and technically eyes all over his skin. Toki's nails are made of actual metal and has wolf-like legs when he's not pretending to be human.

- Eventually Skwisgaar's songs begin to have more of a real voice to them and Toki befriends all of the local strays. Their interactions turn from begrudged cooperation to easy friendship and bickering. Skwisgaar will occasionally stroke Toki's fluffy legs and soft hair. Toki makes sure that Skwisgaar's small circle of reminders of his true home stays spotless no matter what.

- Over time it becomes increasingly clear that neither of them is really able to go back to their og home and they're both a little too human now. Skwisgaar gets writers block because that's the price for creativity. Toki is increasingly prone to being hurt by misunderstandings now that he lets himself be vulnerable.

- They work their shit out with more and more time and some help. Cue talking about trauma and dealing with Toki's family occasionally turning up in places and Skwisgaar struggling to choose between morality as it was in heaven and morality as it is here.

- Along the way they run into former angel-turned-devil-turned-this-guy Pickles who didn't mean to get Adam and Eve banished from Eden, ahnestley, he was just high as all fuck and wanted to eat apples with company for once. Pickles introduces them to 'Be Not Afraid, Scratch That, Be Afraid, I Fucking Rule' Nathan, a defector of the demonic side and big fan of yelling and reminiscing about how great the day of creating the animals was (got banished for trying to improve the frogs). Along with them is Murderface the 'Don't Fucking Aschk' angel who got to smite people a whole lot before it was realized that he's a little too sadistic and creepy about it, and therefore chucked out from heaven.

- Keeping the entire ragtag crew together/not exorcised is semi-Satanic ex-Satanist-priest Charles (with his Masters in law, minor in theology, and actual religion as more of a 'buddhism but with murder' thing), there's-no-such-thing-as-angels-or-demons-or-magic Abigail, and Richard 'Will believe in any god or devil in exchange for job' Knubbler.

- The group of five becomes more famous with time thanks to the human trio. Charles is in charge of mostly the legal and theological side of things while Abigail takes over business contracts and publicity. Knubbler is mostly just working as their sound engineer but now and then he's in charge of helping Charles decipher incomprehensible prophecies.

- All of them let parts of their true forms out on stage. Abigail has released multiple statements saying the band will not be revealing their special effects and makeup secrets, so stop fucking asking.

- Melmord shows up for all of five minutes before Charles 'accidentally' traps him in one of his occult charm things, which he then gifts to Abigail. She's more than ok with the idea of her rival being trapped in a small rock set in metal forever. That's what he fucking gets for trying to steal her job.

- They do eventually let him out after realizing that Melmord has tangential connections to the Blues Devil and technically they're not allowed to harm him long-term. BD appears to the producer trio in a cloud of smoke, hands Abigail a skull with emeralds for eyes in exchange for getting his servant back, and turns himself and Melmord into crows for their exit. Abigail continues to deny the existence of magic and magical beings.

- Charles gives up on getting her to believe after this. As far as he's concerned, any human that can negotiate with the literal devil while having no magic or supernatural power assisting her gets to not believe in the devil. It's a fair deal.

- Abigail and Pickles become pretty fast friends and even though she turns him down early on, they stay close and are usually arguing over really weird philosophical and ethical ideas together.

- Knubbler is one of the first people Murderface genuinely trusts and it does lead to him slowly getting a little better at dealing with humans, because clearly they're not all that boring of douchebags if someone like this is one of them.

[gunsatthaphan]

Hi Doreen, hope you're doing well and are not overworked (I've seen you write in some recent posts that you have a busy schedule lately). After having watched ep7 of bad buddy I have a couple things eating away at my mind that I need to share with someone, this time anonymously, not to be annoying:

1. This show has potential to become one of the most wholesome bl shows so far, that is, if they don't decide to throw in some cringey tropes like dumb miscommunication, evil exes plotting to get back together with one of the leads, infidelity, arranged marriage or sending one of the leads off far away (the list could continue forever). So far I feel like Pat and Pran try to communicate with each other to the best of their ability (for Pran, especially after they started the 'bet',cause while Pat was always rather straightforward, Pran tried to conceal his feelings in the beginning).

2. Even though Pat is this typical bubbly main character, by no means is he one-dimensional and, joke about it as much as I might, he is not a one-braincelled guy at all. The way Ohm portrays Pat's more pensive and introspective moods is so brilliant, it's a testament to his acting skills (but what's new here). Not only that, it's also thanks to the directing and scriptwriting.

3. As for episode 7, I really can't get over being furious at Wai for guilt-tripping Pran into taking over his responsibilities. This was such a shitty and toxic move, I was really taken aback. Kudos to Pran, the sweetest boy, for doing Wai this favor but I really think he should have tried harder to find a replacement.

4. Pa and Ink endgame? Will we have this one? They're so cute together. (if so, poor Wai, though I don't rwally sympathise with him right now lol. Also, how funny it is - him falling for the sister of his self-proclaimed archnemesis)

5. I've just realised that the next two Fridays fall on Christmas eve and new year's eve. Does anyone here know if I will get my weekly fix of serotonin? Or will I have to struggle for THREE weeks?

Really sorry for the long rant ^^'

Hope you're having a good day and enough rest!

hello there anon!!! <3

first of all thank you very much 🥺 I'm doing okay, just feeling stressed every now and then. But I'll be fine.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! I'm gonna try and not make this too long:

1. I also hope they won't throw in any unnecessary drama but the plot is pretty nicely structured so far (give or take) so I don't think they will. But then again that's what we thought about DSN and look where it got us lol. I'm pretty sure the main drama will revolve around the parents though and not some annoying girl or miscommunication. The girls are all very lovely so I don't think they'll introduce some random problematic bitch lol.

2. agreed! Pat definitely has more layers than meets the eye and I feel like Ohm deeply understands every single one of them. He could not be more perfect for the role. We stan. 🥺

3. honestly I’ve been seeing so many people loving & praising Wai but I kind of disagree. He definitely didn’t deserve all the bullying but as a character, he’s giving me nothing. The guilt-tripping was definitely not cool and I know he’s not aware of pat & pran yet but I don’t like how he’s unintentionally driving them apart djkfhd.

4. I have no idea..... We can only hope I guess. There were so many moments where I was convinced that they’re gonna put them together but then Wai came along and ruined it lmaoo. No but realistically speaking I don’t think it’s gonna happen. If anything it’s gonna be Wai x Pa. oh well.

5. aah omg you’re right!!!! I didn’t realize that. I remember last year they didn’t air anything on the 24th and 31st but idk about this year? I couldn’t find any announcements but I hope they will? How will I survive otherwise 😭

have a wonderful day as well anon! <3

xxx

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash

Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs

Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again

Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else

* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country

Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over

Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying

* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again

Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her

Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name

Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida

Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up

* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run

* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet

* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything

* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)

Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break

* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be

* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside

Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get

* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program

* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John

* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day

Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing

Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems

Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.

* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography

Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy

Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it

Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie

* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem

Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful

* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great

Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy

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17 year old british ex-muslim. Here are my reasons for leaving. Potential ex muslims will read for a eureka moment :) via /r/atheism

Submitted June 27, 2017 at 03:57AM by boredashellitsinsane (Via reddit http://ift.tt/2sgpR8V) 17 year old british ex-muslim. Here are my reasons for leaving. Potential ex muslims will read for a eureka moment :)

I’m 17 years old, live in the uk. Born into a muslim family. Thanks to the help of relatives and various others i was able to leave and currently live away from my parents. It’s a crazy world lol

Alright so below is a combination of every possible reason you can think for leaving Islam. Every one of these points combined together to result in my removal from the religion. I hope by this some potentially shaky muslims who read this will wake up, and realise that their doubt is founded upon good reason and that they have every reason to keep looking for the right thing to do. Ex-Muslims are not idiots who know fuck all about their religion. In fact they know so much they begin to hate it. It's often people that start studying the religion seriously having had an open mind prior to doing so that apostate. They realise that shit honestly does not make sense, and regardless of how you look it, continuously explaining stuff away with "god willed it, that's how it is" gets a bit tiring mentally. We are humans. We have reason and we cannot live comfortably knowing that we are hiding things from ourselves in order to remain 'stable'.

Not all of this is my own content. Much was collected from answers around Quora but were written better than I could have so I included them. I did have my own complete stuff written painstakingly by myself. which i posted on Quora. Unfortunately I wasn't anonymous and it went viral and that fucked me over in the real world. Now that I'm away from that shit I thought I'd post again.

why does Allah always threaten us and intimidate us into loving him?

Every Muslim on this planet has one thing in common, the Holy Quran. Regardless of different sects and books of hadith, everyone believes Quran to be the perfect word of God. So after having concerns with Islam in general, I analyzed the Holy Quran. The following are some of my major objections derived from the Quran that made me leave my faith.

Islamic Heaven

The image of heaven is painted like it's a fantasy of a 6th century arab; Lavish silk clothing, jewelery, young boys circulating wine, full breasted, large beautiful eyed virgins, shades of palm and banana tress, rivers of honey and milk, meat of the fowl etc. That heaven is not for anyone else or for all times. And it's not intended to be a metaphor. (the verses are spread out in the Quran).

Murdering a child and Moses

In an event, a man kills a child in front of Moses. Upon inquiring,Moses is told that the child would have grown up to be a non believer and that would burden his Muslim parents (verse 18:74- verse18-82). Implying it's ok to murder a child because he may not grow up to be a Muslim.

Miracles

The many fables about miracles. Moon splitting in two, fish swallowing a prophet, miracles of Moses and Jesus etc. People who wrote the book didn't believe them to be metaphors. They believe it literally happened. How's that any different from myths found in other religions?

Adam and Eve

The story of Adam and Eve as the initiation of creation on earth. It doesn't relate with evolution, which makes sense. There are many holes in the story. Are we then the product of incest? One couple can't populate the earth. Why would God create his own game set the rules, watch as Satan tells them about the tree and then freaks out afterwards. Unless that too is somehow a metaphor.

6 days of Creation

At one point it states , God says be and it happens. But then He needs 6 days to create the universe. Theists say, the time is different for us. For us it's 6 days, for Him it's a moment. But that's only speculation and an excuse for this inconsistency. (verses : 32:4, 50:38, 7:54, 57:4, 25:59)

Allah controls everything

Allah chooses not to interfere, hence our free will. But Quran has inconsistencies on the matter. At several points it says Allah guides those whom He wills, He controls who becomes a Muslim. If I'm searching for Him and He decides that He doesn't want me as a Muslim, i can't do anything about it. Also He says that family and children are less important than him, which doesn't sit will with me. A religious person can leave his family if God tells them too, can murder his child, can do anything if God tells them to. And how does one know that the voices or dreams they're having are a mere product of their mind and not some universal celestial being sending vague signals?

Expressing loudly is frowned upon

Verse 31:19 indicates that if you speak or laugh loudly you sound like a donkey. This expression, one would expect from a child, not from an All knowing God. He created the donkey to be ridiculed? And to use this analogy, a celestial being can do better.

Christians and Jews

Earlier on Quran says they are both allies, people of the book. When they don't acknowledge the prophet or Islam and keep their faith, Quran curses them. The Jews were cursed first, when their relationship got bitter with Muslims, during the battle of trench. Quran said Christians are nice as they have monks and priests who are truthful. Then they were cursed too. It said not to take either of them as allies and may Allah destroy them. And then Jews are prohibited fat of animals. This sounds more like the intentions of the prophet rather than inconsistent commands of Allah. But you can marry their women to spread Islam, in hopes that they'd convert. (verses : 5:51, 5:82, 9:30, 6:146)

Context based signs

Allah talks about signs in the universe for His existence. But all these signs were observable in the 6th century desert. Ships, seas, childbirth, moon, sky without pillars like a plane, rain, sun, palm trees, pomegranates, grapevines, creation from sperm, rivers,earth laid out,mountains, having sons as wealth, hunting and tents from hides etc. Nothing even outside of the context. Elm and oak trees provide a greater shade than palm trees. They're never mentioned. The evidence of signs is not convincing to a person looking for God in modern times.

Battles

Violent verses during battles aren't really objectionable. Except a few. For example the verse 8:67 says to not have slaves unless you spread massacre across the land. But the tone of the verses is barbaric. Striking necks, fingertips, slaughter etc. The same message could be delivered in a much better way if the said God is humble, kind and hates unnecessary violence

God, punishments and genocide

One can't really judge God on the scale of human morality. But His kill count is much higher. He admits He kills nations in their sleep at night or noon. He's no divine, humble, mature celestial being. He's jealous and vindictive. He creates pigs and monkeys as symbols of insult and mockery, then turns humans into those animals. He says when you're in power, do not show mercy. But then the prophet showed mercy at conquest of Mecca. Maybe that's another inconsistency. Cursing an ancient Arab like Abu Lahab in the divine Book of guidance seems trivial and petty for a God. He says don't attend the funerals of your non Muslim friends. And there's even a verse (22:15) that says if you don't believe in the prophet, try and hang yourself with a rope from the ceiling and see if that changes anything. That's an All wise God’s message. And He says if you're told to kill yourself for God, that is better for you .Verse 59:5 justifies the cutting down of trees in a desert. It's all a game, He creates and destroys. (verse: 32:26, 5:60, 7:4, 66:9, 111:1, 5:33, 4:65)

Rulings

Marrying your adopted son's wife is totally fine. You can never call him your true son. The person you see as your daughter in law can be your wife. This would only induce feelings of hatred between the son and his father. 100 lashes to a couple who consensually has premarital sex. Why? You don't know them, they're not hurting you, no one's being raped. You barge into their lives, lash them in front of an audience, humiliate them and be pleased with yourself of having done a noble deed. If you want to educate people about sex, it's their parents job. It's their families concern. It's not Allah's concern. It's not your job to lash anyone. Cursing gays when it's not a choice and God made them that way.

Slavery

Yes, Islam liberated slaves of the 6th century. They were treated as daughters, sons, sisters, brothers. They were fed and clothed like their masters. They could demand freedom. But God knows better that in the modern world, good treatment of a slave is no excuse to own a human being. Slavery wasn't banned by Allah like wine or pork was. There was a contract that stated this man or woman is your property. Owning a human being is wrong. If God could add a clear verse about not consuming pork, what prevented him to add a clear verse about not owning human beings? Why leave that to vague examples and Muslims doing mental gymnastics trying to somehow make it sound reasonable?

Sexual slavery being allowed in Islam. Now that is absurd. How can that be allowed in Islam, that would be hypocrisy. So u mean premarital sex is totally a "No-No" but having sex with your slaves, even if they if are married is absolutely fine?

Women

Woman were given many rights and they too were liberated in Islam. But then it stopped. It's clear from reading the Quran that it's from a male's perspective in which woman at times are treated as inferiors. She can't divorce in the same way a man can There has to be two female witnesses for one man, so if one female forgets the other can remind her Marrying any four women and amongst your many many concubines, but women don't have the same choices If a woman is raped and can't produce four witnesses. She might even get punished herself. She wouldn't get justice Verse 24:31 says “…. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment…” Meaning, a woman should not move in a way that reveals her body. It restricts you in illogical ways. You play sports, you're sinning. You can't dance, get excited and express it. One can beat women if she cheats (yes I've heard the miswaq example) the woman can't beat a man.

Outside of the Quran, there are many other problems with the mere idea of God. One look at innocent children dying of horrible diseases, being tortured in pain, may make a logical believer question the idea of a merciful loving God.

Or if one digs deep into history and looks at the religion's role models, they're found to have done some questionable things. They were people of their time. Who did some good and some bad things. Definitely not the perfect examples of character.

And if one does a philosophical analysis of religion. It's about getting rid of your own individuality to serve men in power who claim to talk to God. To obsessively idolize a man, called the perfect human being. If you're born different in this religion, you're labeled a sinner. Organized religion suffocates dreamers and free thinkers. It makes them guilty of their ability to fly and many cut of their wings to fit in. I for one am glad I took the leap of faith away from my indoctrination.

1) According to Quran mountains prevent earthquake or the shaking of the earth. in Sura Al-Anbiyaa (Chapter 21 verse# 31) It says " And We have placed on the earth firm mountains, lest it should shake with them”

If Mountains are there to stop the earth from shaking, then why do we see so many earthquakes in mountainous regions?. For example, Japan is a mountainous zone but it has 1500 earthquakes every year.'Shaking of the earth' and earth quakes mean the same thing right? Mountains are created because of the movement of tectonic plates. They do not stablize the earth or prevent shaking of the earth. This verse is clearly in error

2) The Quran In Sura Al Mulk (Chapter 67) Ayaat # 5 it says

"And We have adorned the lowest heaven with lamps, and we have made such (Lamps as) missiles to drive away Satans, ... "

So the stars were created by Allah as missiles to throw at the devils? In order to not let them eavesdrop on the heavenly council?

The first ayaat says stars are lamps that is fine but lamps (stars) are not thrown at devils

3) Why does the Quran say Allah prevents the sky from falling into the earth? The Holy Quran in Sura Al Hajj ( chapter 22 verse# 65) says

Pickthall:He holdeth back the heaven from falling on the earth unless by His leave. Lo! Allah is, for mankind, Full of Pity, Merciful.

As we know the sky is vast. So how can it fall into the earth?This sounds absurd.

4) According to the Quran honey comes from the body of the bee. In Sura an Nahl An Nahl (chapter 16 verse # 69) says

YUSUFALI: Then to eat of all the produce (of the earth), and find with skill the spacious paths of its Lord: there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for men.

A bee makes honey from the collected then chewed up pollen from plants. The bee never actually swallows and or digests the pollen. Honey does not come from the bodyof the bee. The bees chew their nectar through their mouth. After that nectar is dried out in the honeycomb and honey is formed. The verse in Quran is scientifically incorrect.

Homosexual men are to be killed. Homosexual women however, are subject only to lashes.

Wasn’t Quran supposed to be a book that is “The Guidance for All Mankind”? Then why is it written in words so difficult that they are beyond the comprehension of normal people and even majority of the so called scholars. Literally no one understands it properly with everyone having their own interpretation of it’s words.

The Quran assumes a flat earth which has physical places into which the sun sets and rises from. Since the earth is a rotating sphere, the sun does not set in any particular place and you can never travel to "the spot" where the sun sets nor a place where it rises.

Till, when he reached the setting-place of the sun, he found it setting in a muddy spring, and found a people thereabout. We said: O Dhu'l-Qarneyn! Either punish or show them kindness. - Quran 18:86

Till, when he reached the rising-place of the sun, he found it rising on a people for whom We had appointed no shelter therefrom. - Quran 18:90

We created the heavens and the earth and all between them in Six Days, nor did any sense of weariness touch Us. - Quran 50:38

The earth first formed around 9 billion years after the Big Bang. The Quran, however, repeats the prevailing middle eastern myth that the earth and universe were formed in six days.

This minute fact that the prophet had a desire to marry his adopted son's ex wife and suddenly a verse in the quran states that its a command by allah and its perfectly fine to do so. What it seems to me that Mohammed just made up a verse to suit his own desires

There’s a story in the Kuran about a king called Dhul’Qarnain (he of the two horns) who conquered the world of his time from east to west. a devoted king who feared god, was just, and fought Gog and Magog(another Sci-FI version of old aliens) , but it turns out that this was an ancient myth about Alexander the great, who was a polytheist (not monotheist), tyrant, a mass murder, and who loves men in his bed rather than woman (not being homophobic here but just to prove that Mohamed got his fairy tail completely wrong.

The christian king who wanted to destroy the Kaaba, he brought his elephants, he set off from Yemen, crossed the whole Arabian desert, but was defeated in Mecca by firing birds (from Allah). An elephant who needs at least 200 litres of water daily and a 3 tons of herbs/vegetation to eat could survive a journey of nearly a month in one of the driest deserts on earth. Go figure.

Even if warned, disbelievers will disbelieve. Allah has placed seal on their heart and hearing, and they are closed from accepting Allah’s guidance.

Thoughts - Really, this is the all merciful, all powerful Allah who prevents people from accepting guidance, brands them as disbelievers and then says its okay to kill them? And if Allah places a seal on the heart of disbelievers, then where is the glory in killing them, or preaching to them in an attempt to convert?

Allah mocks them(the hypocrites) and increases their wrong doings.

Thoughts - If Allah can increase the wrong doings, then why can’t he decrease them? Isn’t he all powerful? He increases the fallacies of the disbelievers, places a seal on their heart, prevents them from accepting guidance, and then throws them to hell fire. Sadist much?

Doubters will go to hell.

Thoughts - Wow, what an way to prevent logical questioning! What kind of power does Allah have if he cant even clear doubts.

Echoes the above sentiment. Basically says that no questioning/curiosity is allowed. Questioners are sinners, disbelievers and will be condemned to hell.

Thoughts - Hello, hell.

There is no compulsion in religion.

Thoughts - Finally! A joke in this book. LOL!!!

And we shall cast terror into the heart of disbelievers.

Thoughts - Why? They have been made disbelievers by the will of Allah. Allah increases their fallacies and throws them into hell. And even then,that much of sadism isn’t enough? Right now, I need to read the “No compulsion in religion” line again. I need a good laugh.

6:14 - Muhammad said that he is the first to be commanded among those who submit themselves to Allah as Muslims.

Thoughts - This screams contradiction and cooked up theories. What was all that stuff about Jesus being sent by Allah and that he had declared that he was a Muslim. This verse contradicts directly with - 5:111, 5:112, 3:67.

Mostly from what I observed that muslims don’t tend to question their own religion which contradicts the basic logical reasoning to everything that’s happening around them and just act blindly to everything that has been proved scientifically.

"Also I think if it happened and there is a GOD out there, he will forgive our disbelieving. If he created our mind to think at everything, so it’s nature to think that religions doesn’t make sense. I don’t believe in him because I’m some bad guy, but because I have no clue of his existence."

People need to open their eyes and see the reality of the hate-obsessed cult that is Islam.

Hoped this helped out some you :)