#pentagon x female reader

[syatbs]

Suck the Drug

summary: When Y/N wants to set farewells to her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, Nam-gyu, she uncovers something terrifying.

➳genre/au: Nam-gyu x reader [she/her, female anatomy}, smut, plotwist, 18+, Dom Namgyu, Dom Reader, explicit content.

➳ Word Count: 2.624k

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“Don’t let that asshole foul you, Y/N.”

The words of my closest friend reverberated within my head like obnoxious little bells. She always tries to protect me from the painful outcomes, but I just don’t fucking listen.

 I was fully aware of where this relationship was leading, but I still chose to tear my insides apart until nothing remained but the empty words that I loved him.

Him… The guy who ignited a spark within my heart and the same one who purloined it like a thief in the night.

Nam-gyu.

That’s his name and crossness spurted in my chest. It was resentment for myself who melted at the thought of his name for a tad second. How the vision of his handsome features entering my mind, made my pulse hammer against the veins.

I was a lost cause, yet I was desperate for him.

Not in love as I thought when we first crossed paths. Just yearning for affection from a man who only gifted me with mixed signals and nothing else.

“What’s wrong?” A deep voice bloomed in the dim red room, my rumination fizzling out like the smoke of a cigarette.

Following the sound, I was met with two pairs of eyes. They had the deepest color, so dark that oftentimes I had the impression that what I was seeing was the abyss of the ocean… So deep like forbidden secrets that are banned from being professed.

I didn’t realize when I was pulled into a privet room, the loud music now becoming dull, and fainted through the soundproof walls that were enclosing us. I wasn’t even permitted a proper period to grasp what a terrible mistake I had just made… Where instead of being in my bed and asleep, I had visited the club Pentagon in search of a man I should be running away rather than lusting over.

It only dawned when Nam-gyu was between my legs with the purpose of pleasuring me. His long thin fingers that were clad with silver rings, grazed the inner side of my thighs, a peculiar expression creasing his handsome face. It was crystal clear that this man wanted to devour me whole, though when he saw I was spacing out, he seemed rather reluctant.

And it shouldn’t pester me one bit for the reason why Nam-gyu looked quite different from our past encounters.

Conversely, it did. A lot.

Though when that sensation festered me like a hurricane brimful of unfortunates, I shook my head mentally.

No. This time what I’m about to do is for my own selfish benefit. For once I will spoil myself without giving something in return.

In instinct, the edge of my lips was tugged into a smirk. “Nothing. Just the thought that we had a long time to see each other.”

Kissing now the exposed skin, I had to swallow a whimper.

“Is it?” Nam-gyu mused as his kittenish demeanor returned. His teeth skimmed over the inner of my thigh before sucking down lightly, only to draw away and leave his teeth marks on the other leg.

My back arched as I moaned and my French Manicure nails sunk into the velvet cushion of the sofa beneath me.

There was no more hesitation in his motives.

With hazy eyes, I stared at his fingers grazing the upper of my legs, while his mouth was busy leaving mark after mark, and traveled them up to the hem of my leather skirt.

“Look at you so eager… I started to believe that you actually missed me.” I teased, though there was some truth alongside my telling.

On the other hand, he didn’t waver to my words only to crane his neck and gaze up at me in a look that made butterflies waltz in my stomach.

“I always do.”

At that everything around me ceased, trapping me in an environment that was only just the two of us. No music from the speakers or laughter from the guests who were gliding outside. Every length of my body was now trembling as I was not able to contain the sadness that took over. I wondered if he was genuine or if it was another of his believable lies… To push me further in the obsession I have for him.

Before I could open my mouth and demand an answer to my troubles, his fingers disappeared into my short skirt, and hooking his index fingers at the edges of my panties he pushed them down to my legs. Then shoving them into the back pocket of his dark trousers, with a drag of my hips, Nam-gyu forced my wet pussy close to his face.

My bloodstream was now racing with the exhilaration of my heartbeat as blush crept on my cheeks. Despite being no stranger to this man, such intimating moments were always making me shy away.

I felt vulnerable, yet simultaneously, the most delectable woman in the club. It was ridiculous such ideation; therefore, it gave me a sense of power that I never knew existed.

“So fucking beautiful.” He rasped, his voice dropping an octave.

Parting my legs even wider, he darted out his tongue and licked the wetness that coated my walls since the very moment I spotted him in the club. He slowly traveled it up to my sensitive bud and sucked it between his front teeth before two fingers were shoved inside me in replace of his tongue.

They weren’t that deep and I had to move my hips in desperation to find some friction. Perversely my craves soon came to a halt when his free hand forced me to stay immobile.

“Nam-gyu…” I mewled his name.

In an instant, a growl rumbled within his chest as I knew that he was getting off with how addressed him by his first name. However, his hold didn’t grow slack. In lieu, he nibbled harshly on my clit, earning a scream from me.

When I threw him daggers, a lethal expression took over his exterior and drawled. “Patience is the key, Y/N. So be a good girl and take what I’m giving you.”

At that goosebumps blazed down my spine, his dominance having a foreign effect on me. In the past, our intimating moments weren’t so intense and ardent. There was no eye contact or words, merely the animus to bring ourselves into the high.

This time, however, he was acting on a different hue and to be frank, I didn’t like it. At all.  

Because it made me feel. Because this sudden meet-up was for me to visit him for one last time before I take our memories and burn them in the flames of what I call “moving on”. To forget for once and for all that, this man made me more alive than any other mortal being and not dwell on the webs he set for me, so he could keep me as his lover prisoner.

Placing my legs on the edge of the sofa, my fingers ran through his long dark hair, and taking a fistful I pulled until a low hiss fell from his lips.

“There is no patience if there is no time.” I heaved.

I could see my words echoing within his skull, and once he understood the message his jaw clenched.

He finally realized that what I was doing wasn’t our usual routine, where I visited the club where he works, getting railed, and once the building closed he would take me to his apartment so we could continue from there.  

It was a hook-up. A farewell to the failure of our relationship.

Once he makes me come undone, I will depart and never return.

In a trice, Nam-gyu’s nostrils flared as fury licked his dark orbs. His breaths became ragged, causing his chest to deflate and inflate in rapid rhythms that still simmer with control, and his face was stone-cold with a lingering vibration that screamed authority upon this situation.

Of his silence for a moment, I had the deliberation that he would leave me hanging sans doing something to complete my plan — to give me the upper hand and the satisfaction. But when his fingers curled inside me and deeper than previously, it settled in me that Nam-gyu was letting me win.

He pushed them in and out of me while our eyes were locked, and my lips parted in silent moans. With each second, my warm walls were clamping down his fingers like a vise, the craving to reach my climax more potent than ever.

By my eagerness, he picked his pace up, and dipping his head once again he sucked my clit hard. The sensitive bud was either flicked by his tongue or his teeth were lightly biting at it and when he noticed my legs starting to sake by his assault, he changed motive.

Replacing his fingers with his mouth, Nam-gyu was tongue-fucking me as his hands hooked around my legs to bring me closer to his face.

Conversely, one of my hands had been placed beneath my head while the other one was at his head — pushing him harder against my opening. My nails were scraping his skull and a low groan of his vibrated through me.

It was such a euphoria that I never wanted it to end. A Nirvana I never experienced before… Somehow it felt quite bitter when I knew it wasn’t a situation that would last, no matter how much I begged to maintain.

A pinch of my clit and his tongue being shoved in my pussy was all it took for me to cry out and my fluids to coat his lips and chin. My breaths had now turned uneven, the high I was entrapped had me spinning and seeing stars.

Our gazes never strayed from each other and the dim LED lights of the private room gave me a slight glimpse of my glistening arousal on his lips. Peculiarly, such a spectacle that was displayed in front of me made me wonder if I ever would be able to find a man so spellbinding as him.

A man who still shines with handsomeness notwithstanding the flaws that corrupt him whole.

Slowly or rather cagily, I took his hand and sucked his coated fingers clean. His eyes followed the movement of my pink tongue swirling around them as if what I was sucking was his veiny cock, and my Louboutin heel was planted on his sternum.

Letting his fingers with a pop, I pushed him harshly on the floor straddling him with my hips. Bewilderment overpowered his features when I reached for his belt.

He always was my Dom, though this time I will be the one to ruin him and ravish him.

Like an expert, I unbuckled the leather material around his waist, the sound of it snapping from his jeans’ loops, having him gasp silently. Smirking in his way, I seductively bent over my torso, my hot breath grazing over the shell of his ear.

“Wrap it around your throat.”

I could feel his body stiffen beneath me, a body language that spoke louder than words that signified he hated being controlled. Yet the tightness of the center of his trousers and hips slightly raising to dry hump my wet pussy was a hint that there was some liking at my sudden dominance.

Reluctantly, he took the belt and placed it around his neck giving me now the initiative to loop it through the buckle and pull it tight. So tight that the metal bit into his skin as the belt constricted.

Nam-gyu choked and his back arched as panic flashed before his vision, thus a single caress of my hand down to his cheekbone and a soothing voice, his muscles relaxed.

“Relax. You can breathe.”

With one hand now holding the edge of the belt like a leash, my other one found the zipper of his trousers and undone it, my palm pressed hard against the swollen of his manhood.

He was bigger than the average size, having my core skated with dark desires. I wanted his dick inside me, the sensation of being filled compelling me to move quicker and hastily. Without any further ado, I pulled out his swollen length from the waistband of his boxers, and giving a few strokes of my palm — while my thumb traced his pre-cum — I then rubbed it up and down my coated folds.

Soon, I sink into him, taking bit by bit every inch and my eyes roll at the back of my head as my opening burns at the sudden stretch of his thick length.

Once he was fully inside me, both of us groaned in unison.

“Y/N…” He growled once my hips started rocking against him. He attempted to grab and guide them with a more brutal bounce but a single tug of the belt restrained his efforts.

“Patience is the key, Nam-gyu. So be a good boy and take what I’m giving you.” Throwing his words back in his face, something dark gleamed in his eyes.

Beaming in his way, my hand was placed against his strong chest for stability and continued bouncing on his cock, as my head was lolled back. My pussy was basically screaming for another orgasm — to be filled with his cum and leave the room like a dirty whore.

The sound of skin hitting skin bloomed into the dim room, our panting breaths the melody in our silence.

Every unused muscle in me was aching with such intense hip movement, my eyes stinging in tears as my folds creamed and squeezed him. The orgasm wasn’t far afield and leaning to his way, I sucked the quick pulse in his neck. Lapping up his sweat and aroma that smelled like cigarettes, my lips crashed into his. I could taste myself on his tongue and like a grinding woman, I sucked it, fought it with my own, and flicked his bottom lip before ravishing it between my front teeth.

The taste of coppery was inserted into my mouth and I swear I could feel his erection growing even larger at the roughness my nature provides.

What I was doing was a silent message that tonight he was all mine. Mine to devour and mine to ruin. For one last time until another female has him as her own.

Soon my whole body had been paralyzed as the orgasm hit me like a thunderclap. I arched my back, driving my climax until the very end.

It surprised me when his hand snaked around my nape and pulled me once again for a kiss — with the difference that it was now softer and more loving. There was no rush between us and as we were breathing in each other’s pants, I released the belt.

His thumb wiped the red lipstick that I’m damn sure was now smudged and we looked at each other debating if we should withdraw or remain in this position for eternal eon.

Regrettably, his phone rang and he rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Sorry,” Nam-gyu apologized as I rolled over, already feeling the emptiness between my legs.

But it didn’t vex me when I found out that the one who was calling him was no other but his friend, Thanos. It troubled me when a card fell from the pockets of his jacket while he pulled out his phone.

A card with three shapes in the center. One circle, one triangle, and one square.

Since he was busy with the call, he didn’t notice that it had fallen out nor how my face paled at the sight. Because that card was no stranger to my eyes since I already had one.

[he3ts]

GIVE YOU MY LOVE

squid game masterlist / part one — part two — masterlist

pairings: nam gyu x reader

warnings: angst, jealous!nam gyu, smut ( p in v ) less than the first part but i prioritized tension and sadness!! toxic relationship, sub reader, alcohol use. mild thanos x reader. this is part two, i recommend you read part one to continue reading. sorry if this is long, but i got too carried away. never mind the mistakes, i'm fucking tired

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and i don't see an easy way to get out of this,,

her diary, it sits by the bedside table

the curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle

who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this

oh i, i just died in your arms tonight

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This time, you would not come back

At first, he didn't pay him any mind; you always did that. You would walk away, disappear for a few days, then come back, slamming the door and insulting him for his way of doing things. It was your sick game, a cycle that repeated itself over and over again. He knew it, had always known it, and that's why he hadn't worried when, for the first time, you didn't answer his calls.

You're being difficult. He had told himself a thousand times, throwing the phone on the table with a tired smile. But then the days had passed. Seven, to be precise. A week without a message, without a call, without even your name lit up on the screen in the middle of the night. A week of total silence. And then the weeks had turned into a month.

Nam Gyu had begun to feel it on his skin, that emptiness, like an ink stain slowly spreading, staining his days, soiling everything. The phone had become an obsession. Every night he unlocked it, looked at your contact, but he couldn't call you. He was too proud. Too convinced that, sooner or later, you would give in. You. Not him. Just you.

Only you hadn't. As the months began to roll by, Nam Gyu began to change.

He was no longer him. Or maybe, he was more than before, but without your eyes to make him feel like someone better. Without your presence to balance his chaos. His nights were made up of never-ending cigarettes, of glasses left on the edge of the table, of pills melted under his palate, of days that blurred together without meaning. He did not sleep, or slept too much. He talked little, or talked too much and to the wrong person.

Girls came and went. Bodies without faces, kisses without taste. He looked for your scent on them and never found it. It irritated him. It drove him crazy.

One year. A year without you. That was how he measured time now.

No one was saying it out loud, but everyone was noticing. The way he reacted to things had changed, patience was in tatters, irritability a constant. Friends knew it, strangers who crossed his path at the wrong time knew it, but no one knew it as much as he did.

No one felt your absence like he did. Yet, he was no longer looking for you. Because inside him, though he didn't want to admit it, he understood. This time, you were not coming back. For your own sake.

The club Pentagon was still the same. Dim lights, pounding music, bodies moving too close, but never enough to fill the void. The air smelled of alcohol, sweat and stale desire, a perfect place for those who wanted to forget, for those seeking a temporary escape from reality. Nam Gyu had dropped onto one of the black leather couches, a drink between his fingers. The amber liquid swayed slightly as he stared blankly at it. He didn't even know why he was there. Or maybe he knew, but he didn't want to admit it. It had been months since he had heard from you. Months that had stretched into a whole year.

"May I sit down?" A female voice brought him back to reality. He looked up as his eyes rested on a young woman with dark hair, bold eyes, a smile that tasted of promise. She wore a black dress that swathed her body in a way that should have attracted him. It should have.

Nam Gyu did not answer right away; he already knew how it would end. It was going to be a night like many others, a night when he would try to forget you in the arms of someone else. It never worked, but he kept trying anyway. He nodded his head. She smiled, satisfied with his silent acceptance, and sat down next to him. Her scent was sweet, perhaps too much so.

"Are you alone?"

He gave a small, bitter smile. "For a long time"

The girl laughed, as if that answer was a joke, and moved just enough closer to reduce the distance between them. Her fingers grazed the rim of his glass, her red-lacquered fingernails tracing a circle on the cold glass.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

He finished what was in his hand in one slow sip, letting the fire from his drink trickle down his throat, and then set the empty glass on the table.

"That's not necessary"

She leaned even closer, her legs crossed in a studied way, her knee brushing against his. "Then maybe I can offer you something better"

Her fingers slid down the collar of his shirt, playing with the first open button. It was an inviting, calculated gesture, something that should have ignited a modicum of interest in him. Yet, he felt nothing. There was no excitement, no desire, just a sense of apathy that suffocated him.

But he did not back down. He could not go on like this. Maybe, this time, it could work. Maybe, this time, he would stop thinking about you.

The cab sped silently through the brightly lit streets of Seoul. Nam Gyu sat beside the girl, his head leaning against the window. He looked out, the reflection of the lights stretching across the glass, distorted like his thoughts. She was talking to him, but he wasn't really listening, occasionally nodding, occasionally hinting at a smile. He had gotten good at pretending.

When they reached his apartment, she took him by the hand and pulled him inside, without hesitation. She closed the door behind her, dropping her purse on the floor, and pushed him against the wall.

"Are you always this quiet?" she whispered, biting her lower lip as her fingers slipped over his shirt. He looked at her, searching for something in her eyes, something that might convince him she was doing the right thing. But he found nothing. Still, he let her. Her lips came to rest on his, the kiss was expert, voracious, but it didn't make him feel a single thing. Her hands touched him, sought him out, and he reciprocated out of pure automatism.

He let himself be pulled toward the bed, his breathing heavy, his body moving without his mind really being there. She pushed him down, lay on top of him, her lips tracing a trail down his neck. He closed his eyes. For a moment, just a moment, he tried to imagine that she was you. That the hands caressing him were yours. That the voice whispering his name was yours.

And then, without meaning to, without thinking about it. She had squeezed his hair vigorously. Only you could do that.

"Y/n, oh my god bunny"

The girl stopped suddenly, hearing that unfamiliar name. She stiffened and pulled away slightly, her breathing labored. "What did you say?"

Nam Gyu opened his eyes. Her own whisper still seemed to echo in the room. Your name. He had said it. He had whispered it against the lips of another girl. A heavy silence fell between them. She drew back, her eyes narrowing in a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Are you kidding?"

He did not answer. There was nothing to say. She stood up abruptly, hastily picking up her clothes scattered on the floor. "Take your ex back at this point," she spat, slipping on her jacket without even looking at him again. And then, without another word, she walked out, slamming the door behind her. Nam Gyu stood motionless, his gaze lost in the ceiling, his breathing heavy.

He closed his eyes again, but this time there was no illusion, no lie to take refuge in.

The bed was cold. And the emptiness he felt inside him seemed to have no end.

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Time had stopped making sense, your days had turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into a whole year without him. Without his burning gaze on you, without his voice to make you shiver, without his touch to always bring you back to where you started, without his caresses.

You had left without a trace, because you really needed it. Needed to change. You had changed areas, found a different job, away from those places that talked too much about him. You had deleted numbers, blocked calls, closed every door left ajar. You had even nipped relationships with people who could have brought you back, because you knew that all it took was one small crack to bring you down again.

It had been difficult at first. The sleepless nights, the phone that went silent but you kept looking at it anyway. The dreams in which he still appeared, vivid, real, with that damned ability to creep under your skin even when you didn't want him to.

And then there was the silence. Too much silence.

The mornings when you woke up with a heavy heart, a tight throat, and the knowledge that you were facing another day without him. The dumb ache of knowing that, deep down, no one had ever made you feel the way he did. Not even in the good, and especially not in the bad. But then it had become habit.

Silence had stopped being an enemy, and had begun to seem almost like a salvation, no longer having to explain to yourself why you always came back, no longer having to justify your need for him with excuses that no longer held up. And, little by little, you had begun to convince yourself that it was really over, that there was nothing left between you. That the love that had consumed you had died along with that old version of you.

But some days were harder than others. You simply woke up already in the morning in a crooked moon. You suffered from lifelong insomnia, but with him it was rare to happen, but that night it was past one, then two, then three. You were lying on the bed, the ceiling a white void that gave you no answers, darkness enveloping everything but your thoughts. Your chest ached, as if there was a weight on it, a tight knot that wouldn't untie.

You didn't know what had triggered that particular night. Maybe a familiar smell heard on the street, maybe "I Just Died in your Arms" played on the radio just that afternoon, his favorite song, maybe just the weariness of having to pretend every day that you had moved on. You had gotten out of bed with soft legs, head light. In the kitchen, the silence was deafening. You had leaned your hands against the counter closing your eyes, biting your lip to hold back the burning that rose in your throat. But it was no use. You could feel it coming. That silent pain, that grip that gripped your stomach and left no escape.

And then, without warning, the tears began to fall. Slow, heavy.

No sobs, no sound, just a silent weeping that seemed to never end. Warm drops on your cheeks, on your lips, falling onto the kitchen countertop one after another, as if your body was expelling all the pain that had been trapped inside for too long.

You felt stupid. You felt weak.

A year had passed. A bloody year. You should have been better off. You should have been free of all this. Instead, there you were, crying in the darkness of a kitchen you didn't even feel was yours, your heart still beating for him, his name trembling on your lips even though you didn't say it.

With the knowledge that, perhaps, you had never really forgotten him.

And that, perhaps, you never would.

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Rain was falling incessantly on the city's gray streets, slipping from the rooftops like tears that no one would ever wipe away. The sky was a cluster of dark clouds, and the air had that oppressive weight that precedes something inevitable. You walked aimlessly, your hands stuffed in the pockets of your jacket too light for that bitter cold, your mind clouded by thoughts that would not shut up. It was one of those days that seemed meant to break you down, no money in your wallet, no place to return to with a smile.

And now him, too. You had rebuilt your life, of course you had to, you were engaged and maybe in love but you didn't know for sure. You thought it centered on the theory that first love is forever, maybe that was why you couldn't open your heart easily to someone else. It was like a poison. But fortunately you had managed, however briefly, to be happy. It had all started that morning with a seemingly innocuous sentence, a joke said lightly, almost in jest.

"You are with me, but sometimes I feel like your head is elsewhere"

You had looked up from the empty plate, fingers fiddling with the now useless fork, your boyfriend was standing in front of you, a smile on his face, you knew him well enough to know something was up. And you knew yourself well enough to know that at that time you were not as spry as before.

"What are you talking about?" you had asked, trying not to sound defensive. He had shaken his head, the smile barely on his lips, but his eyes betrayed his frustration.

"About him"

Your breath had caught in your throat for a second. Yes, him. Nam Gyu.

He had said it out loud. Even though he had never spoken his name, that name that was no longer supposed to belong to you. You had set your fork down on the table with a clatter, trying to maintain control. "I don't want to talk about it"

"But you still think about it"

"I don't"

He had laughed, but without mirth. "Are you really sure?"

Were you? His words were a knife digging into you, slow and precise. "It doesn't matter," you had said finally, crossing your arms.

"It matters to me"

His fingers had drummed against the table, the sound rhythmic and nervous. Then he had shifted, leaning against the back of the chair, watching you with a gaze that made you feel naked, vulnerable. In that perspective, you had noticed how a little like him he looked. You were so screwed.

"I heard you in your sleep," he had said. "You call him. Not me. Him"

You had stiffened.

"No"

"Yes"

The air in the room had become heavy, unbreathable, and going back seemed impossible. "It's not my fault if-"

"If what?" he had pressed, raising his voice. "If he left you? If he destroyed you and now you think no one else can put you back together?"

You had felt your face heat up, your throat tighten. It was unfair. It was cruel. But it wasn't a lie. "If you think that, why did you stay with me?" you had retorted, your voice broken with anger and pain, "You knew my history, you ... You cannot hold my greatest weakness against me"

He had shaken his head, and for a moment had looked more tired than angry. He raised an eyebrow, not expecting me to respond that way.

"Because I thought that in time things would change"

A long silence had fallen between you. One that hurt more than words. Then he had sighed, grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, not turning around before leaving. Nothing more had needed to be said. He had been right. He could not be a replacement and you were still trapped in the past. Alone again.

You had left the house only three hours later, your cheeks streaked with bitter tears, your nose red with shame. You felt the air lacking inside the crowded subway, the air saturated with the smell of rain and dampness. You had sat in a corner, your hood up, your eyes fixed on your hands entwined in your lap. Then you had seen him when you hurried downstairs. A well-dressed man with an enigmatic smile and an expression of someone who always knew more than he was saying. He had stretched a smile at you in a casual, almost distracted gesture.

"Will you play with me?" he had said, and you had almost laughed. A game. It was almost funny, maybe he was trying to cheer up your depressed mood. He had shown you two cards, one blue and one red, and you immediately knew what the game was. Ddakji. You had accepted, perhaps just out of defiance. Maybe because you needed something to take your anger out on.

Every blow you gave against the card seemed a reflection of the chaos inside you. Every pop in the air, every defeat, every burn on your skin when his hand hit your face. But then you had won and the bills had slipped through your trembling fingers. It was not the money that scared you. It was the temptation, because you needed the money. And, perhaps, you had nothing left to lose.

You had returned home sadder than before, the room was a reflection of you, you had taken off your soggy jacket and dropped it to the floor with a dull thud, you sat in the armchair cross-legged looking at the damn note.

Then the music had begun.

"Oh, I just died in your arms tonight..."

You had frozen. A chill had gone down your spine, your hands had begun to shake. That song, that damn song. The radio croaked slightly, the sound imperfect, lived-in. An old gift. One you had kept out of habit, just because it was part of you, and like a slow poison, your mind had gone back.

To him.

To the first time you had listened to that song together, lying on the bed with the rain beating against the glass. To the way he had smiled, brushing your hair away from your face with a careless gesture. To the taste of his lips, to the unspoken promise that was in every kiss. To the anger. To the longing. To everything you had tried to bury. Your gaze had slipped to the note clenched in your fist. Maybe you weren't really free. Maybe you never would have been.

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The metallic sound of the doll's voice was still echoing in your head.

The field was littered with motionless bodies, some lifeless, others paralyzed with fear. Blood stained the dusty ground, yet adrenaline did not allow you to dwell on that scene of terror. Your heart was beating so fast you feared it might explode. You had survived. Where the fuck had you gone? Blood, too much blood, your beautiful face was stained crimson red, you could no longer breathe regularly. But you were alive. With hands still trembling, you had turned around slowly, trying to catch your breath, to process what had just happened.

Terror made your whole body shake in a ghoulish dance, you hid your hands in the pockets of that horrible green sweatshirt. You were breathing only because you had to, only because you wanted to live again. You could not die, you were young, poor, yes, but still young. Everyone seemed too interested in money, blinded almost to want to continue. You obviously voted X, how could you continue knowing that maybe you would die next?

The bed was uncomfortable, you couldn't even eat, you were terrified, and now you were forced to play again just because of someone else's greed.

Nam Gyu no longer knew how long he had been staring into space, the spoon trembled between his fingers, he was nervous, he was in withdrawal, the bland meal had now cooled before him, but none of this mattered. He was in withdrawal and thought it was just yet another vision he had before him. But no, he had seen you. You. Across the room, far away, your back slightly bent as if you wanted to make yourself smaller, more invisible. There you were, intent on eating in silence, not drawing attention to yourself, but your face, your movements, everything about you screamed your presence like a deafening echo in his chest.

The spoon almost slipped out of his hand. His lungs closed, as if the air had suddenly become too thick for him to breathe.

One year.

But it had only taken one glance. One bloody instant to shatter every lie. He had lost you. But he had never forgotten you. And now you were there. You were real.

Your hair was longer, slightly messy, but it still looked good on you, as if it belonged to that version of you he had never known. Your face was more mature, marked by something he couldn't define. Suffering? Weariness? Or was it just time that had left its mark?

You were even more beautiful. A kind of beauty that hurt the eyes.

You looked fragile, almost ethereal, as if the world had crushed you for too long. But he knew. He knew that inside you was still that flame, that storm that had always engulfed him. He watched as you brought the spoon to your lips slowly, with no real desire to eat, with no real taste to that meal. Your movements were mechanical, lifeless, and that realization hit him like a punch to the stomach.

He bit the inside of his cheek, holding back the wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. A laugh at his side abruptly brought him back to reality: Thanos, the purple-haired boy, the rapper, always stoned and a little disconnected. Sitting next to him looking relaxed, as if they hadn't just risked their lives. He was saying something, a joke maybe, but Nam Gyu couldn't follow him.

Not as long as you were there. Not as long as your breath seemed to echo in every corner of the room. Thanos followed his trajectory, turning his head sharply toward Nam Gyu "Do you know her?"

"No," he had gasped, but he still stared at you with too much intensity, without shame or modesty. Your eyes met. One moment. A single, eternal moment.

Your lips barely parted. The spoon remained suspended between your fingers, as if you had forgotten what you were doing. Nam Gyu felt the blood freeze in his veins.

You.

It was really you.

Bunny.

He had missed you.

He had missed you to death.

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He did not know how it had started, but Thanos had set his eyes on you from the start. He had opened the cross necklace around his neck only to pull out what looked like an ecstasy pill to Nam Gyu. He scrutinized you as if you were a fun puzzle to solve, as if he had already decided you were worth playing with.

After the fight with Player 333 he seemed more fierce than ever, his had been a test toward him, he was plotting something, and Nam Gyu knew it. Maybe he had noticed the way he was looking at you? He didn't want to talk, didn't want to hunt for some weakness. But seeing you there again had ignited that flame in him that he was unlikely to extinguish now. He felt the fire sprinkle in him everywhere, how delirious.

Thanos was serious, approaching you with that relaxed walk of his, his head slightly tilted, as if everything was a big joke and he was the only one who knew the punchline.

Nam Gyu could tell from your eyes, from that little glint, that you were amused. Maybe from his dilated pupils. Okay it's done, it's going to be really funny.

He clenched his fists inside his pockets, his fingernails digging into his palm. Thanos was already in front of your figure, his face tilted in a theatrical gesture, while you were still trying to finish your cross-legged meal.

"Hey, Señorita"

Nam Gyu felt the blood boiling in his veins, you barely looked up from your meal, the spoon suspended in midair. You tilted your head, watching him curiously.

"Señorita?" you repeated with a smile that, however small, was enough to annoy Nam Gyu. That symptom of belonging. You had never been engaged, not officially, but at the club his friends always tried to stay away from you.

"Yes." Thanos nodded slowly, with that air of a sassy kid who enjoyed pushing himself. "I've decided I'm going to call you that. It sounds better than your number, doesn't it?"

"I don't like it"

Thanos clutched his shoulders. Nam Gyu forced himself to look away. He felt his own breathing becoming heavier, his chest rising and falling with effort. He had no right to be annoyed. He had no right to intervene. Yet, he felt the need to do so.

You chuckled, lowering your gaze to your meal.

"Join my team, and I will protect you at all costs"

Another laugh. Light, almost distracted. Yet every time Nam Gyu heard it, it was like a punch in the stomach. He hadn't heard you laugh like that in a long time. Not with him. Not for him. He was the one who knew every expression on your face, every nuance in your voice, and yet, there you were now, smiling with someone else.

And then, as if that were not enough, your eyes shifted to him. You were doing it on purpose, it was so predictable. You hadn't seen him in years. Years in which you had tried to forget the sound of his voice, the way his touch could burn your skin, the look with which he had always made you feel naked, exposed, vulnerable. You had vowed never to think of him again, to rebuild yourself, to erase his name from your mind. But when your eyes had landed on him in that bare, stuffy dormitory, time had stood still.

He had changed. Thinner, harder. His face seemed carved in stone, his black eyes were duller, more hollowed out. Did he have new tattoos? For a moment, you had seen a spark of something familiar before he looked away.

"So now you want to impress me?" you had told him, as Thanos sat down next to you just to talk some more.

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Nam Gyu sat in a corner, his body motionless, his hands intertwined in front of his face. He was trying to ignore it. He was trying to ignore the discomfort that knotted in his stomach every time Thanos spoke to you. But then, Thanos spoke.

"Strange," he said, with his usual arrogant smile, his eyes cast toward the piggy bank. "I didn't think you were the type to let a woman like that go"

Nam Gyu did not react. Not right away. Thanos understood. He was high and only wanted to annoy him.

"Or maybe," he continued, tilting his head slightly, "you never really had her?"

A deep breath. Absolute control. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

"Why are you talking about things that don't concern you?"

Thanos laughed softly, with the confidence of someone who knows he has the upper hand. He leaned in slightly closer, as if deliberately trying to provoke him.

"Because it amuses me," he whispered. "Because I want her. Because you had her in your hands and threw her away like an idiot"

Nam Gyu clenched his jaw, still silence. Still checking. Yes, he was an idiot. Yes, he was wrong. Yes, his heart still burned for you.

"But maybe it was for the best," Thanos continued, the grin becoming more and more evident. "She is free now."

The bed creaked in an instant, Nam Gyu stood, his breath short, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes burning with pure rage. Thanos smiled even wider. "Ah, so you still feel something? What a surprise"

"Leave her alone"

Thanos stared at him, and for the first time a shadow of caution flashed in his eyes. He was only joking. "What is it you call her? Bunny? Bro, you're really fucked up to call her in your sleep. Maybe you should-"

Nam Gyu moved even closer, his gaze now a bottomless abyss. His sweatshirt sleeves were up, Thanos noticed his scars, from when he was piercing himself. He took his necklace with a dry gesture, opening it in front of him, Nam Gyu's eyes lit up with something all too intense.

Thanos studied him for a long moment, then tossed him the pill, the smile barely noticeable. "Don't worry, champion. I don't want any trouble. At least not yet"

──────────────୨ৎ──────────────

You could not sleep. The need to go to the bathroom had become impossible to ignore; you were so terrified that you hadn't thought about your physiological needs at all. You had risen cautiously, slipping away from your bed without a sound, moving like a shadow among the huddled bodies. You crossed the dark room, the faint red and blue lights on the floor were blinding. When you reached the door, the guard behind the glass looked impassive.

"You can't get out"

The metallic voice rang through the device, cold and impersonal. You paused, your breath suspended for a moment.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Your voice was firm, but your body tense, but the guard remained still. Not an ounce of sympathy. Clenching your fists, the idea of having to stay there, of being denied even that slightest freedom, made your blood boil in your veins.

"If you'd rather I do it here, be my guest and watch"

The guard did not move. He did not respond. Nervousness burned under your skin. Your instinct told you that you would never be able to convince him, because you couldn't even convince yourself. Do it in front of everyone, even if they were asleep? That was out of the question. But then, a presence behind you.

"What's the problem?"

His voice. Low. Deep. Strange. A shiver went down your spine even before you turned around. He was there, so close you could feel the heat behind you. His gaze, heavy as a mark on your skin, did not leave the guard in front of you.

"She just needs to go to the bathroom"

The guard did not move, "It is not allowed at night"

Nam Gyu took a step closer. "Not allowed?" His voice dropped a tone, becoming darker, more dangerous. "Either you let her pass, or we make a scene. But I guess you don't want to attract attention, right?"

The guard was impassive, as always, and he was so close, and you desperately needed the bathroom.

Nam Gyu looked at him as if he could break him in two with a single glance, resting his hand on your back. "Don't be an asshole," his voice was pure threat. "Open that door."

A second of absolute tension, then finally the guard opened the door. As soon as the door opened, Nam Gyu gently grabbed your wrist, guiding you out without another word. He walked in front of you, determined, his shoulders broad and tense. His grip on your wrist had barely loosened, but the contact between your skins was still there, alive, electric. Reaching the bathroom door, he stopped, you turned toward him, finally meeting his gaze. He was staring at you in a way that almost made you hold your breath.

His eyes were dilated, shiny, you remembered, because you had those eyes too, then you had decided that ruining your life was not the thing and stopped. Only when you had turned away from him had you felt the air lacking. So close, you could touch him, just reach out. All you had to do was ... No, you couldn't. Not now that you were both vulnerable.

"What an honor to know you still care about me," you barely whispered, he tightened his lips into a single line, he wanted to speak, he wanted to stop you. He wanted to... He didn't know anymore either. You had entered the bathroom not knowing that he had followed you quickly. You had done everything in a hurry, not wanting to upset the masked men.

Water ran over your cold hands as you rubbed them under the rusty jet of the sink, trying desperately to concentrate on the monotonous noise that echoed in the small room. But the only presence you could feel was his.

He was there, standing still against the door, his arms crossed over his chest, his body relaxed in that silent arrogance that had always driven you crazy. His dark eyes watched you with an intensity that seemed to dig into you, making you feel vulnerable, as if he saw every thought hidden behind your impassive facade.

You knew he was watching you. He was devouring you with his eyes. You breathed deep, trying to find the voice to break that nerve-wracking wait.

"You can leave, you know"

The sound of your words echoed in the small room, but he did not move. Then he slowly left his position against the door and took a few steps toward you, slow, studied. Curse.

"Still playing hard to get" His voice was low, rough, with that undertone of danger you had come to know well. You felt your heart quicken as the reflection in the small mirror above the sink returned his figure to you, getting closer and closer. And then-the contact. His hands. Warm, sure, terribly familiar.

His hands rested on your hips with devastating naturalness, his fingers sliding lazily along the elastic of your sweatpants. A shiver ran down your spine, your breath jamming for an instant.

"Don't touch me. Back away," but you had arched your back so pathetically that your words betrayed themselves. He knew that your breathing had just changed. He knew that your body was already responding to his.

"Really?"

His tone was a challenge-laden whisper, his mouth close to your ear, his warm breath brushing against your skin. He moved even closer, his chest almost touching your back. The warmth of his body against yours made you shiver. And then, you felt it. His erection, how much he wanted you, and the tip of his thumb sliding slowly under the fabric of your panties. A very light, almost accidental touch.

You stiffened instantly, your fingers gripping around the edge of the sink tightly, as if it were the only thing holding you up.

"Stop it"

Nam Gyu smiled against your neck, a smile you couldn't see but felt all over.

"Lie"

His hand moved another inch, his fingers playing with the hem of the fabric, lazily caressing the soft skin beneath it. Your breath grew shorter, the heat spreading along your skin like a slow poison.

"You always said you hated it when I did that"

His voice was low, hypnotic, dangerously close.

"And I hate it." You tried to maintain control, to ignore the way your body responded to his touch. But he laughed softly, a deep sound that made you shudder.

"Stop your bullshit. Can't you hear how much I want you, bunny." That name. That damn name that had always made you melt.

You had bitten your lip, hating yourself for the way your body seemed to give out without you being able to stop it. Stop, stop, stop.

"Go away, Nam Gyu"

He did not move; rather, he let his lips barely graze the skin behind your ear, his hot breath making you tremble.

"Tell me you don't want this"

"Tell me you hate me"

You hated him. You hated him because he knew you would never say it. When his hand reached your opening, opening it with two fingers, your breath was ragged, you had rested your head on his shoulder you could see his face looking down at you.

"Is that a no?" he turned several times between your folds as he gave you pleasure and you closed your eyes. Maybe it was his twisted way of enjoying himself. Maybe he liked seeing you tremble under his intense gaze, knowing that he could destabilize you. Or maybe he simply wanted what he couldn't have.

"He's on you like a hungry dog," Nam Gyu had whispered, his voice low, laden with venom, as he kissed your neck. He was talking about Thanos, you knew; he was jealous because you were still his stuff.

"None of your business," you had replied, your heart pounding in your chest. He had removed his fingers from your pussy too quickly, grabbing your hair with a tug, you had already complained about his distance.  "Yes it is my business. I see your face in my nightmares, I can't touch a woman after you anymore.... bunny, don't you understand?" his eyes were black, damned, you felt your intimacy melt deprived by your orgasm. But you were bursting.

"You reduce yourself to this! I am not a piece of meat! I loved you and you just exploited my weakness, my love to your liking!" before he could continue torturing you, his hand let go of your hair, you were looking at your bodies through the mirror, him behind you, and you trembling in front. Your pants slightly pulled down over your legs, his hand continuing to pull them down.

"You are more than a piece of meat"

"You didn't give me a way to think that, though" you had turned around, now you were face to face. His cheeks red, his eyes half-closed, as he grasped your cheeks with his palms as if to lock them in.

"Maybe we won't get out of here alive, bunny," he sighed, playing with your hair; it was the drug, you knew. "Maybe I'll die. But at least I was lucky enough to see you one last time"

"You're not in you. That's the drug talking"

Your still damp hands clenched against the fabric of his suit. You stared at him, your breath short, your eyes struggling to stay cold, not to betray the fire he always managed to ignite. He smiled. A game. Always the same, the one where he pushed and you tried to resist. Only this time the bathroom walls seemed to close in on you, the breath of both of you was too close, and the air was thick with something you could no longer ignore.

"You're always the same," he continued, his tone softer, almost bitter. "Always ready to say no to me"

You didn't know what to say, you were like stuck, still too shaken.

"You like to drive me crazy, don't you?"

You didn't have time to answer. His hands closed around your face, "Please, bunny, kiss me" It was that closeness you knew, it was that you couldn't stand it anymore, to say enough. It was the fear, the fear of dying in a place like that. It was too strong, and painful but his lips touched yours without any warning. It was a violent, hungry, angry kiss. No gentleness, no attempt to hold back. Just years of anger, repressed desire and unspoken words exploding all at once.

Your fingers slid into his hair, squeezing hard as his body pushed you against the sink again. Your mouths sought each other, taking, biting.

He moaned against your lips, his tongue sank deeper into your mouth, as if he wanted to claim you, as if he wanted to remind you that, in spite of everything, he had never really let you go.

And the worst of it was that you didn't want to stop him. Never. Not even when he turned you over for the second time, and bent you over the cold sink, his erection pressing against your butt was just yet another signal about how much he was treating himself. How many times he had dreamed that you were the woman he had between the sheets, your face, your hair, your lips.

"Nam Gyu," you had said, trying not to wince as he slid down your sweatpants and panties. His body was pressed against your bottom, his hair in front of his face and his hands clasped around your hips.

"Do you know how much I've missed you?" was a rhetorical question, sure enough, your head was foggy and your legs gave out. You were all wet, he found it funny. It was sloppy, all so fast, his breath on your neck and the tip of his cock already inside you. You lifted your butt higher toward him, because you wanted more, you were addicted, "Fuck"

"How I had missed your voice" he muttered, as his hand grabbed your hair, pulling you back toward him kissing your neck. You weren't protesting, you couldn't do anything more, you were exhausted and confused completely loose under him. His hands were everywhere, reaching for your breasts under your bra.

"Hurry the fuck up, I'm going crazy"

Your breath took away as he began to giggle and then grabbed you with far too much force as he fucked you in that fatal position. It was your head spinning, sweat soaked into your forehead. You felt it all, his tongue on your neck and moans against your ear. You were so hungry for him but so little in control of your person, "We are both doomed, you know, bunny"

"I know"

You had been struck by time, out of control, and for that night you had been his again. He couldn't get enough of it. Then a soft knock against the door. There were a few thrusts, unrestrained like animals possessing themselves. He stepped out of your frustrated womanhood, pulling your hair back from your neck and laying a chaste kiss on it. You had rested your head on the sink, your cheek flattened, and your face formulated a small smile. Your legs completely filled with him. You were cursed, yes. You were alive, again.

"I love you"

MASTERLIST.

[uranometrias]

don't forget to kiss me, jennifer jareau x fem! reader

★☆

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summary: in which jj has been into you for as long as she can remember. from your first day on the team she'd found herself utterly enraptured. she had partially assumed her adoration for you was merely a result of your personality, and the fact you were closest in age. seven years later, and she finds that her feelings towards you are a bit more complicated than she thought. which is why you being angry with her is even more gut-wrenching. pairing: jennifer jareau! x bau! female reader category: angst, unresolved content warnings: violence (reader smacks jj) love confessions. jj is kind of... self-destructively in love with you... you're disastrously oblivious + could potentially be unaware of your own feelings for jj. this is my first time writing for her, so fingers crossed her characterization lines up w/ canon. if not ? sue me :( author's note. this is my first time writing for jj, im so nervous about it. this can be read as an alternate universe for “you’re still a traitor” it picks up about a month or so after the court proceedings and reader has been ignoring jj , so she shows up at her house! idk why when writing for criminal minds, i always write jj with underlying feelings for reader… maybe because i actually like her a lot more than i initially thought (I’ve been a jj hater for years so this is a little jarring ) kinda spurred on by glue song xx unhappy ending, but room for a part 2

You hadn't been expecting any company, so when you heard a faint knock at the front door of your apartment, you were a bit confused. You were wearing a tank and boy-shorts, the weather in Quantico picking up to unbearable temperatures. It was impossible to focus with too many layers, and you supposed your choice in loungewear was a major sign that you were off duty. After the week you'd had, you'd become a bit of a recluse. Maybe "a bit" was underselling it.

You had wanted to be excited, happy, relieved even, that Emily was back. The team could be whole again, but your anxiety hadn't allowed you to. Instead, you'd found yourself feeling betrayed, angry, hurt. You lashed out at everyone, you didn't want to be bothered. You got to work earlier so that you could be the first to leave when evening came. When you were out on a case, you stayed glued to Rossi, Derek or Spencer. You couldn't meet the eye of the others.

Hotch, who had one point been your favorite person on the team, was now someone you avoided. There was some saying out there about 'never meeting your heroes', you felt that with this life changing reunion this quote had managed to sum up your life. You'd held him to such high regard, and had never expected him to lie to you. But he had, he'd done it without pause. And somehow he'd felt like the only person he needed to share this with was JJ.

That stung a little bit more. JJ was supposed to be your best friend. Even while she'd been gone, away working at the Pentagon, she'd been your rock. You couldn't count on your fingers and toes the amount of nights you'd spent crying your eyes out over the perceived loss while JJ combed her fingers through your hair and promised that 'everything would be alright.' In the grand scheme of things you assumed this eventual end was what she'd meant by that.

She had expected you to be okay. They had expected things to be normal, but they couldn't. After you'd been called into court to talk about the way things went down you'd become more of a ghost around the office. You had transfer papers hidden at your desk, and a ticking clock in the back of your mind. Maybe you were going overboard, being childish and stubborn, but you couldn't find it in you to care. How could you be on a team with people who lied.

After everything you'd seen, everything you'd been through together, they'd still chosen to lie. They'd kept you in the dark, because they thought they knew what was best for you. How were they any different from the higher ups that were constantly making decisions that put the entire team at risk? They weren't, and that's what sucked. You remembered when you'd confronted them with your feelings, they'd tried to pacify you with reminders of Emily's safety.

Somehow the fact that in their heads your grief was of little concern in comparison to Emily hurt the worst. You couldn't seem to understand the secrecy... especially since in the end, Emily wouldn't have managed to take down Doyle for good without you all. It felt like a waste of time, and when you'd placed your paperwork for a leave of absence on Hotch's desk, he hadn't had the guts to say anything. No one had said a word, they'd let you leave.

If it had been anyone else the calvary would've been out, but here you were on day ten of the longest break you'd had since you'd joined the bureau, and the only thing you had that proved you were missed were your unopened text messages from Penelope and Spencer. Penelope had been relaying messages for both her and Derek. Spencer had made you promise not to quit without saying goodbye. You knew how important it was to him, so if it came down to it, you'd give him that.

Still, your unwelcomed guest has grown impatient. They tap against your door a bit more impatiently, and you're climbing off your couch. Your slippers squeak with every step, and it's a bit funny, lightens your mood just barely. This hardly lasts, because the second you're swinging the door open your mood is dropping. Jennifer Jareau stands before you, looking more worse for wear than you'd seen her. She looks relieved when your eyes connect, you suddenly feel faint.

"Y/N." she always has this way of saying your name, like she's learning how to breathe for the first time, and before it was a symbol of your bond. "I'm sorry to show up like this, I didn't think you'd answer if I tried to call you." she admits, and you don't know how you look. You can't tell if she's receiving a bitter glare or something of the sort. All you know is how you feel. You feel like you're suffocating, like it's suddenly too hot. You feel like your clothes are too tight.

JJ is the one doing this to you. You're certain that's why you take a step backwards. She hasn't been at the profiling game long enough to mask the way you'd outrightly rejected her. "Why are you here?" you demand, and she crinkles her nose, almost like she's trying to keep from sneezing or something along the same lines. She honestly hadn't thought much of what she'd say. It had been almost two weeks since anyone had seen you, and she was going crazy.

"I just-" she exhales shakily, and you're about two seconds away from slamming the door in her face. "I wanted to see you." she admits, and you're unfazed, and visibly unimpressed. She'd waited almost two weeks, you were happy her guilt was eating her up. "No one's heard anything from you.... I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." she adds, and you take note of how she shuffles from foot to foot, nervous eyes jumping from one side of your face to the other.

She looks so unlike herself, not quite as bold and confident as you were used to. It's off putting, more than that though, it's a little suspicious all things considered.

"I'm fine." you insist, and you don't try to take some of the sharpness from your words. JJ's blue eyes are swimming with more emotions than you care to count in the moment. They're glassy, surrounded in dark circles and bags, she hadn't been sleeping. You hoped that wasn't on account of you, because in your current position you couldn't afford to be moved by her guilt. "And that could've been a text." you admit, and JJ winces. The drive from her place to yours was well over thirty minutes. She'd wasted her time.

"Are you going to hate me forever?" she asks, and you're at least offered the peace that comes with not finding anger in her tone. You were happy that at least she wouldn't be trying to make you feel bad for being angry. You don't know how to respond, because you honestly didn't know. You didn't know why you were so torn up about this, but you were. You couldn't look at her and pretend everything was okay, you couldn't go back to how things were before.

"Maybe." you mumble under your breath, and JJ looks so crushed. That manages to tug at your heart strings, you'd always been weak.

JJ's suddenly shuffling, digging through her bag. "Is that why you never said anything?" she asks, and she's holding your completed transfer application out towards you. It takes a moment for it to register, and you want to cower behind your door. Her gaze is so sharp, so crystalline like she was looking right through you. "Y/N..." and she says your name like she's the one who's been betrayed.

"You went through my stuff?" you counter, veering the subject off of your decision, and putting the focus back on her. "Bad way to go about regaining trust there, Jennifer." you say, and she flinches. You'd known one another for years, and you'd never called her Jennifer. You'd been calling her Jaige since you first became friends, what she wouldn't give to hear you call her that now. "I don't owe you an explanation." you add crossly, snatching the paperwork from her.

"Maybe not, but you owe it to Hotch." she argues like the know-it-all and little kiss ass that she's always been. "You owe it to the rest of the team." she adds a bit more gruffly, and you want to laugh at the hypocrisy. "You can't just spring this on them blind. If you're gonna run away at least have the guts to own up to it." she lectures, and you want to hit her, maybe grab her by her throat and shake her from side to side. "Instead of hiding out in your house like a child."

She gasps when you hit her, you think that you gasp too. You can't tell though, not with all the blood rushing to your head. You feel like your ears are clogged, and your eyes are wide, surprised at yourself. JJ's head is cocked to the side, cheek reddening as she gingerly clutches it. "JJ." and she supposes it's sort of a win. You weren't calling her Jennifer or Agent Jareau anymore. But her face stings, and it's starting to throb, and she thinks that she may burst into tears.

"It's okay." she says, because it kind of is. She was stupid in that way, willing to do whatever it took to get you back. Even at her own self destruction, and she supposed that's why she'd waited almost fourteen days to come see you. "Y/N/N, hey, it's okay..." she promises, and now it's your turn to feel guilty. There's this knot in your gut that pinches and twists and tightens. It steals your breath and makes you want to run and hide in your bedroom.

"I'm so sorry." You sputter, and your eyes are stuck wide open.

It's a good sign that you can apologize. Lucky you, you weren't as numb as you thought. JJ was still in your heart, maybe that meant Hotch and Emily were too. "I didn't mean to-" and you reach out for her, fingers ghosting just barely over where her cheek was starting to welt. You retract your hand at the last second though, you hadn't expected to actually hit her. "JJ, I'm so sorry." you reiterate, shuffling backwards, mostly so she doesn't touch you.

"It's okay." and you think maybe her ability to forgive you so easily is partially why you snap the way you do.

"No it's not!" you exclaim. "Nothing about this is okay, JJ." she jumps a bit at your tone, eyes flitting down the hallway. It was still vacant for now, which was good. "And just because you choose to forgive me quickly does not mean, I'm obligated to get over this now." you remind her as she pouts at you. She didn't understand why you were choosing not to forgive her. It didn't make any sense, it wasn't like she'd intentionally tried to hurt you. She hadn't had a choice.

"That's not fair." she exclaims, and now it's her turn to get aggravated.

"No, it isn't." you agree. "But, guess what JJ, it's my choice." the reminder makes JJ's face sour. Her heart though chooses

"I don't have to forgive you, especially when you haven't even actually told me why you're sorry. I don't want some apology that's just a means to keep you from feeling guilty about the fact that you fucked up, and you betrayed me." and it certainly sounds melodramatic. JJ's eyes are instantly rolling, and you feel a bit bad for your neighbors.

"You're treating this like it was some personal vindictive decision we decided to make." she counters. "It wasn't about you." she reiterates. "It wasn't about any of us." her voice raises just slightly. "It was about Emily." she sneers, "Do you remember her? Our friend." she emphasizes. "We did what we thought was best, Emily wasn't safe as long as Doyle was on the run, we wanted to minimize any chance of an attack." JJ proceeds. "We did what we had to for her." she adds.

"Don't you think we would've understood? We're supposed to be a family, JJ." you shoot back, and JJ's letting out an agitated sigh.

"We are a family."

"Give me a break." you're checked out of the conversation now, and you wonder how quickly you can shut the door in her face.

"What are you actually angry with me about, Y/N?" JJ presses. "I saw you that first day

You're telling me you're willing to throw away all your years at the bureau, all your years on this team, because of a decision that was out of our control?" she says, and she looks so disgusted at the thought. Maybe she was, it felt like the cowardly thing to do. Run away with your tail tucked between your legs instead of owning up to your feelings.

"I trusted you, JJ." you shout. "There's nothing deeper beneath the surface then that." JJ's eyes widen a bit at your outburst. "You watched me grieve for seven months. All while you got to sleep peacefully at night, because you knew the whole time that you hadn't really lost your friend. To you there was always an end to this, a day where Emily would be back, so not being able to see her for a little while doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things." you add.

"Y/N..." she begins and you shake your head.

"I think you should leave, I don't know why you came here." you mumble, and your hands on the door, ready to shut it in her face.

"Because I hate this." she answers sternly, voice raising just slightly. "And I'm tired of pretending that I don't." she emphasizes as your mood seems to worsen. "I-" she takes in a sharp breath. "I miss you, okay?" she exclaims. "I just want you to hear me out... for one second, and then I'll back off." she insists. "I'll leave you alone, and I'll accept that you'll never forgive me, but just... give me the chance to explain." you don't like to see JJ begging. It seems wildly out of character.

You think that's why you give her the chance. You nod your head stiffly, and she visibly relaxes, exhaling a shuddered breath.

"You have-" and her hands curl up into tight fists. "You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you." she exclaims, and you don't hold back with the visibly unimpressed look that crosses your face. "It's true." she deadpans forcibly. "And I know you can take care of yourself, you've been doing this profiling thing a lot longer than I have... but I couldn't rationalize putting you in harm's way, okay? I was trying to protect you." she explains, and she sounds desperate.

"I didn't ask you to do that." you shoot back instantly.

"That's the point, you never have to ask me." she cuts you off abruptly. "You'd never have to ask me to take care of you." and you note the way her turn-of-phrase has changed just slightly. "It's not something that I even have to think about doing, I just do it." she proceeds, and you blink a bit harshly, hand immediately moving to drag against your eye. You're sure on the outside it makes you look even more disengaged from the conversation.

You are listening though.

"I have known you for seven years-" her voice cracks, words slurring just slightly as she nervously gestures with her hands. Her eyes are glassy, but she still hasn't cried, you think that's just a part of who JJ is. Strong emotionally, unable to really let herself feel anything, she never wanted to look weak. You'd never expected such a front with you, even now when you were at odds, but here you were. "And-" she chokes on a breath, and none of your profiling skills seem to allow you to read between the lines. She would just have to spell it out.

She grows more anxious the longer you stare at her with an dry sort of expression. "And I've loved you for all seven of them." she finally blurts it out, and you feel it when a shiver snakes its way down your spine. "I just kept thinking about Doyle, and what he was capable of-" she proceeds to jump right over the confession. "I don't know how to be normal about you..." and it's lighthearted, it makes your lips twitch just slightly. "You're my best friend." she continues.

"And sometimes I just can't- I can't think straight... I go into this place where the only thing that ever matters is-" and her eyes widen just slightly before she's backpedaling. "I want to keep you safe, always." she insists. "You're my priority, you always have been, and I don't know what it'll take for you to trust me again, but I'm asking you to remember who I've always been to you, okay?" and her words are starting to lump together as she begins to speak much quicker.

You resist the urge to place a hand on her shoulder.

"And-and I just want you to ask yourself if I would ever do anything to hurt you deliberately." and you know, of course that she wouldn't. She hadn't. "Because I know that hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do. You purse your lips some, body leaning sideways as you press against the doorframe. You had a lot of thoughts swirling around your head, and many a feeling revving up in your chest. "I'm not good at this stuff." she admits, and of course you know that as well.

"But I'm asking you to let me make it up to you, I'm asking you to forgive me, and to believe that I only did what I did, because I was scared that you finding out about Emily would leave you open to danger." she pries. "I didn't think I had many options..." and her arms swing out, palms smacking against her thighs. She takes a breath that makes her chest heave. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Y/N/N. I am so sorry." and she's trying to slow down her heartbeat.

Silence befalls the hallway immediately after, all you can really hear is JJ's booming heartbeat. She looks a bit crestfallen, and her face crumples up in that way that lets you know she's definitely about to cry. Still, JJ was the strongest woman that you knew, and you knew that no matter what, she'd wait until she was alone before she ever let you see her cry. She breathes in deep, back straightening as she fixes her posture just slightly. "I understand." and she curls her nose.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this." and she gestures to the space in between you both. "It wont happen again." she says it like a promise. "Bye, Y/N." her voice has grown a tad more glum, but you think you love her more because she doesn't beg.

"Bye, Jaige." and her chest fluttering at the nickname is a huge betrayal. Still, she couldn't deny how strongly she felt for you, even as you were crushing her heart in your hands. She watches as you stand back upright, stepping back into your apartment before you gently let the door shut. She gasps when the lock slips into place, and it's then that she allows herself the moment to shed a tear.

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"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Derek's beaming at you, pretty teeth almost glistening underneath the shabby bullpen lights. It had been two days since JJ had shown up at your house, two days that had given you ample opportunity to think and reel in all your emotions. You held two cups of coffee in your hands, you supposed it could count as a peace offering. A truce declaration if you needed to label it as something. The aroma was pleasant and definitely calming.

"You look good, sweetheart." and there's no flirting beneath his words. He genuinely looks pleased with the fact, and you're grateful.

Derek Morgan was as sweet a friend as any, and despite his macho-manly outer shell, he'd treated you like kin from the day you started in the unit. He didn't smother you or hover over you, he let you be exactly who you were, but never failed to watch your back.

"I feel good." you admit, and you let out a quiet breath. "I'm glad to be back." you add a second after, and you're placing your coffees down long enough to wrap him a hug. It's needed, the comfort of your big brother, who's immediately scooping you into his arms. He squeezes like he's worried you'll disappear the second he lets you go, and you can only imagine that word had spread about your desire to step down from the unit. "I missed you, Der." you admit with a quiet huff, and Derek bends his chin to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"And I missed you, but I'm glad that you got what you needed." he then leans back, arms resting on your shoulders. "You did get all that you needed, didn't you?" he questions, and your head nods. "Good. This place isn't the same without you, and it'll do it some good to have you back." he purses his lips, because he's serious, but the desire to grin is still so prevalent. "Make sure you go see Garcia, she'll have a conniption and kick both our asses if she finds out you're making rounds, and I didn't tell her." he says, and you grin.

"That's my next stop, I just need to give something to JJ." you say quietly, and Derek's got this know-it-all expression on his face.

"Certainly not that coffee you've placed on my desk?" he asks, and you let out a quiet giggle. "Because once it hits my desk, it's finder's property." he teases as your eyes roll. "You know that." and he's mainly joking, and you appreciate it. It reminds you so much of how things were before, it takes away all the first-day-back jitters you'd been dealing with since you'd woken up and decided you were coming back. Derek always seemed to know exactly what to do.

"You didn't find anything, smart guy." you huff. "But, since I love you so much, why don't you just take this one." and you gift him the one that was originally meant for you. "Taste and be astonished, sir." and he takes the scalding paper cup from your hand, and brings it up to his nose to take in a sniff of the cinnamony beverage. "Just taste it." you huff, and he chuckles, free hand raising in surrender, as he brings it up to his mouth. The first sip like clockwork has him groaning.

You didn't consider yourself a caffeine connoisseur for nothing.

"You are an angel." he compliments, and you glow.

"I aim to please." you retort with a wink, and you look around the bullpen in search of the blonde profiler. "Have you seen Jaige?" you ask as Derek's head nods, taking another indulgent sip of the drink he'd manifested.

"She might be in with Hotch." he shrugs. "I told you things were different without you, little bit." and you resist the urge to frown. "He'll want to know you're back anyway though, right?" he continues, and you're immediately nodding your head in agreement.

"I guess you're right." you hum.

"I'm always right."

"Just shut up and drink your coffee." with that you're grasping the other cup in your hand, ignoring the way Derek's chuckle chases after you. You're not quite sure you're ready to face your boss, and despite how vacant the bullpen remained (and you were nearly forty minutes early), you knew eventually you'd have to face Emily too. You wondered if there was still time to change your mind and go back home. You don't have the time to decide either way, because the second you've climbed the ramp, you're met with the sight of Dave.

"The prodigal daughter's returned." he expresses, hands extended out as if he hoped you would hug him. Your face feels a bit warm, but you're ecstatic as you take the four short steps towards him. You use one hand to loop it around his side, head leaning against his shoulder as he hugs you just as tightly as Derek had. "I'm glad that you're back." he says, and there's this undertone that often lied beneath Rossi's words. "Everyone will be." he seems to finish his thought directly after, and you're hopeful that the same can be said for you.

"I hope so." you admit, and you offer a small smile. "How have you been?" you question politely, not really sure how to go about getting your groove back.

"I've been good." he replies with a content sort of smile. "The bad guys don't ever seem to stop, but I'm good." he answers and you grimace just slightly. "I'm much more interested to know how you are though." he expresses, before he raises an eyebrow. "JJ came back to work with some very interesting news about your future here at the bureau." he says, and he lowers his voice, which you think is indicative of something. Maybe that she hadn't blabbed to the entire team, and instead had only mentioned it to Dave.

"That sounds like JJ." you reply with a huff. "I'm good, I'm back... I think that's what matters most, isn't it?" you question and Dave scrutinizes you for a moment, but nods.

"Yes, I'd agree." he replies, and you relax a bit. "Thirsty?" he looks down at the cup in your hand, and you blanche.

"Uh-" you look towards Hotch's door. "It's for JJ... Derek said he thinks she's in with Hotch." and you nod your head towards it. Dave offers you a contemplative sort of look, you don't understand why. He then gives you a small smile, almost one of understanding.

"Then I won't hold you any longer," he promises, and you relax. "I'm glad you're back, Y/N." Dave finishes, and you beam, feeling a bit better about your decision. He leaves you with that, heading back into his office, as you take the few short steps from his office to Hotch's. It seems like things are working in your favor, the second you're raising an arm to knock, the door is swinging open. You're met with the sight of blue-eyed JJ looking back at you and you gasp.

You instinctively take a small step backwards, as she stares at you in surprise. "Y/N/N?" she questions, and that seems to garner Hotch's attention. The older man's focus being drawn towards the door as well. "What are you doing here?" JJ asks, and your mouth feels incredibly dry. All you can really do is push your hand forward, cup of coffee resting against JJ's chest. She's quick to look down at the beverage that was steadily cooling.

It takes her a second to garner the focus to grasp it in her hand, fingers brushing against yours. "Good morning." you slur out, and then you're motioning to the coffee in her hand. "This is for you." you proceed, and JJ's eyes are back on the cup, perfect brows pushing together. "C-Can we talk?" you shift from one foot to the other, not quite nervous, but definitely apprehensive and unsure. "Just for a second?" you question, and she's opening her mouth to respond.

"Uh, Y/N." it's Hotch's voice that pulls you both from what could have been a moment. "Can I see you for a moment?" he questions, and JJ's bottom lip is disappearing, front teeth just lightly pressing into it as you both realize that you don't have time to unpack the last conversation you'd had. You nod your head slightly, walls as high as the ceiling as the air around the both of you seems to grow frigid. You don't look at her, and she finds herself more confused than ever.

You step into Hotch's office, and let the door click shut behind you. JJ holds the cup of coffee in her hand, and her mind reels. Was this it? Were you here to step down? Were you about to make the choice that would change the unit's trajectory forever? She doesn't want to wait around to find out, instead she's being pulled towards Emily, who's walking through the elevator with Spencer on her heels.

"Oh, hey! Is that for me?" Emily's teasing, hand held out for the coffee that JJ feels the need to tighten her grip on.

"Uh, no." she denies sternly. "This is-" and she looks down at it, takes in the way the side is scribbled over with that nickname you'd created just for her. 'Jaige', there was no heart, no other note that would be indicative of what your motives were. But the 'Jaige' said a lot, maybe you had started to forgive her, maybe her words had actually meant something. Even if she'd poured her heart out, and you'd stared back at her like it meant nothing. She ignores that last part though.

Maybe she does it because she's secretly a masochist.

Maybe she thinks she deserves it.

"Y/N got this for me." she finally says it, and Emily's eyes are shocked. Spencer, who was gearing up to offer a greeting seems to stop in his tracks at the mention of you. "Yeah, she showed up this morning... and she gave me this." JJ explains, her eyes turning towards the shadowy, looming, darkness that seemed to sit outside Hotch's office as the two of you discussed God knows what. "She's here." she breathes this out, and Emily's head is tipped a bit to the side.

"That a good thing, isn't it?" she treads lightly and slowly. Gauging JJ's reactions, she couldn't deny her slight annoyance towards you. JJ hadn't been shy about her guilt, about the feelings she harbored that you had so eloquently ignored. She knew that you were handling things in your own time, but JJ deserved better than that, right? She didn't deserve to be blamed for something like this.

"I guess we'll see." JJ retorts, lips pursing together.

"Y/N is here?" Spencer questions, eyes still wide and bright, clearly unfazed by the inner turmoil JJ was currently dealing with.

"Yeah, she's in with Hotch." JJ replies as Spencer's face seems to glow, a newfound vigor to his look as he smiles slightly. Spencer says something about going to see Penelope before he takes his leave, JJ and Emily suddenly left alone. JJ heaves, hand clenching around the cup for a moment. It's warmth was far from blistering, but it would still be hot enough to wake her up a bit. For some reason though she's not so keen on drinking it anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?" Emily questions and JJ nods her head. "You know you can always tell me if you aren't." the raven haired woman adds a moment later. "I know things between you have been kind of weird, and that's partially my fault-" JJ's immediately holding a hand up to cut Emily's rant short.

"It wasn't your fault." she deadpans. "I chose to keep it a secret. I did it because I understood the importance of discretion, even if she can't." and she's a bit exasperated, mostly just tired of all of it. "I'll be in my office." and then she's taking her leave, grateful for the fact that despite her year away at the pentagon, she was lucky enough to come back to her own space, instead of being delegated to the open space of the bullpen with the rest of the team.

When she reaches her office, she sets the coffee cup down, moving to sit in her chair as she prepared to start her day. She hardly has the chance to get comfortable, because she's quickly getting a notification from her cellphone with a message from Penelope asking her to come to her lair. She huffs, feeling the early beginnings of a migraine forming. This time when she grabs hold of the coffee cup it's to toss it into the trashcan on her way back out the door.

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"Hey." you look up, a bit surprised to be getting approached by Emily. She looks a bit contemplative, but polite, sweet as always. After your long talk with Hotch, you'd been trying your best to get back into the swing of things. There hadn't been a call for a case, so instead everyone was catching up on paperwork. You'd been immediately cornered by Spencer, who was visibly overjoyed to see that you were back at work. He'd even surprised you with a hug that managed to be surprisingly mood lifting. But you hadn't run into Emily.

You also hadn't managed to run into JJ either.

"Oh, hey." you say, and you think back on Hotch's words, about the severity of Emily's case. He'd even tried to school you a bit on the real nature of Doyle's crimes, you supposed that was his way of expressing just how pertinent it had been to keep Emily safe. You tap your nails against your desk. "What can I do for you?" and it's a bit formal, but it's still taking some getting used to, being this close to Emily, who nearly eight months ago you'd believed to be dead.

"Nothing." she replies, "I just wanted to know if I could talk to you?" and she looks a bit hopeful, but you also know Emily was a thinker, you wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if she had premeditated this whole conversation. "It will only take a second." she adds as if recognizing the discomfort on your face.

"Uh, yeah... sure." you agree, albeit reluctantly. You knew full well the unit would not be able to function with you choosing to behave like a brat. You'd made the choice to come back, which meant that moving forward with every member of the team was important. You move to stand up, and Emily's holding a hand out to stop you.

"No, please." she gestures back to your seat. "Sit." she instructs, and you listen, dropping back into your office chair. "Look, we're all real happy that you're back." she begins, and you feel a bit awkward. Mostly because it's all you've been hearing all day, similar sentiments from all the current members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Derek, Hotch, Spencer, Penelope, Rossi, and now Emily. It served to only make you feel more guilty for seemingly throwing the world's biggest tantrum over the last four weeks.

"Thanks, Em." you reply, and she offers you a ghost of a smile.

"I don't know how long it'll take for things to feel normal again for you, and I know this is... absolutely a crazy situation." she pushes her lips to the side as she finishes this, "All I ask is that whenever you're feeling a little too... overwhelmed or it starts becoming too much for you again that you tell us." she propositions. "It's like Garcia always says right? This team works best because we're a family. We trust one another... we've got no other choice, right?" and Emily pauses, seemingly giving you the chance to input with your own opinion.

"Yeah." you agree, and she visibly relaxes.

"JJ's a really great girl by the way." she says, and your eyebrows jump up. "And she cares about you a lot. Too much I think." Emily continues, and you shuffle a bit in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Cut her a bit of slack, okay? Don't punish her too badly for this." she instructs you, and your face ticks, you're unsure if you're going to frown or scowl.

"I wouldn't." you insist, and Emily offers you a look that you know says she doesn't quite believe you. "And I don't really need you trying to give me the protective friend speech." you add a bit unimpressed.

"I'm not trying to lecture you." Emily counters, and you cut your eyes at her.

"So then don't." you huff. "I've got a lot of work to do... so if there's nothing else." and you turn your head back to your files, face screwed up at her. Emily scoffs, letting out one of those huffed laughs that escape from your nose. It makes you look back up at her, eyes narrowed as you offer her a look that said something that was quite frankly not appropriate for work. "What?" you snap.

"You're being unreasonable." she deadpans, and you think that's part of the appeal of your bond with Emily. You'd both always had the liberty to say what you felt to one another, no holds barred. "And you're being unfair. JJ told me what happened, okay? How many times are you gonna make her apologize? And how long are you going to hold it over her head? I know that we hurt you, but you can't use that as your excuse to keep treating us like we're dispensable."

Your jaw drops at the accusation, "I'm not doing that. I'm not the one that keeps trying to push the damn envelope. I left to regroup, and the only reason I came back was because JJ was the only person that had the guts to apologize and to-to be honest with me. I would never use my feelings about the situation as some rouse to get my way, I'm not a child, and I don't appreciate you insinuating that I'm that unprofessional." and you admit, it's getting a little tense.

Derek's eyes haven't left you since Emily walked up, and you know it's not because he's looking for gossip. It's because he knows if the two of you go at it, you could both potentially say something that would hurt each other. But he also supposed it all had to come out eventually, Spencer's seemed to disassociate. His eyes haven't left his book, even as your voice picks up a bit of volume. Lucky kid.

"She told you that she was in love with you, and you shut the door in her face." Emily exclaims, and she's stern, but also certain to lower her voice. JJ wasn't subtle about her feelings for you, but that didn't mean she wanted it as something for the Unit to talk about. Emily watches as your face screws up, clear confusion swirling in your eyes as you shake your head involuntarily.

"Emily, what the hell are you talking about?" you demand, and Emily's face ticks.

"The other day..." she begins, and she's blinking rapidly, her own confusion starting to catch up to her. "When she went to see you?" Emily trails off, and your face pinches up even more, like you had no idea what she was talking about. "When she-" and she trails off.

"No. No she didn't." you deny. "She told me that she loved me, yeah... but JJ always tells me that, and it certainly wasn't like she was confessing secret feelings for me." you deadpan. "She told me why she lied, and she asked me to think about it, and see if I could forgive her. I did, I thought about it, and that's why I showed up today..." you continue, and there's no malice behind your words, it's only that same confusion from before. "Why would you think she was in love with me, Emily?" you press, and your head tips to the side a bit.

"I-" and she's floundering. JJ had made it so clear to her, she'd been so devasted by what happened. How she'd put her heart out there for you, and received absolutely nothing back. But looking at you now, there were no signs of deception, nothing that would prove that you'd willingly ignored a love confession. "I think you should talk to JJ." she retreats, suddenly feeling like she was majorly overstepping. Her annoyance towards your behavior disappears instantly.

This was all a misunderstanding, and you were painfully oblivious.

"Emily?" your confusion triples, watching as the raven haired woman takes off, ignoring the call of your name and serving to put you in a more sour mood. Your foot taps against the ground for a moment, looking over your shoulder at the only person in the unit besides you that could be considered exceptionally close to JJ. "Hey, Spence?" you call, and he's looking up at you instantly. You wave him over, and watch as he puts his bookmark in his book before standing up.

He passes Derek, who's settled back into his own work now that the tensions have declined. When he reaches your desk, you're reaching over to pull another swivel chair up beside you. He takes the hint, sitting down in the seat as you put on your best pleading face, it may have been a bit unethical, but damn it all, if you weren't confused now. "Can I ask you a question?" you plead, and Spencer's new haircut is cute, it fits him, makes him look more like the grown man he is, and not the little kid he'd been dubbed as by the rest of the team.

"You sort of just did." he tells you and you exhale, not out of annoyance though. It's humorous the way you walked right into that one. He's beaming at you, proud of it all, before he clears his throat, using a hand to gesture for you to continue with your real question.

"Do you have any idea why Emily would think that JJ was in love with me?" you question, and the thought is stuck on repeat now that it'd been brought to your attention. You hadn't really taken her words from the other day as some indicator that she held deeper feelings towards you. You watch the way Spencer's eyes widen, before he sets his face, allowing it to rest in a more relaxed expression. He was about to deflect or lie, either way you'd already gotten your answer.

"I think everyone's entitled to their theories and hypotheses..." he offers, and you roll your eyes. "Emily might have noticed something about JJ that led her to that sort of... conclusion." he adds, and your head tips to the side. "But, the only person who'd really know is JJ. Why don't you just ask her?" he offers, and his lips push to the side, almost like he's worried it was the wrong thing to say. Classic Spence.

You lean forward and plant a kiss on his forehead, "Thanks, Spence, you're the best!" you mumble as you stand to your feet, making your way across the bullpen to find JJ's office. The walk is short, and soon enough you find yourself hovering outside of the cracked door. It was a sign that she was sitting inside. You didn't really know how to go about this, on the one hand if it was all a big misunderstanding that'd be a bit embarrassing. On the other hand though, how were you supposed to deal with the fact that your best friend was into you.

For so long the Unit had remained a safe haven from things like crossed boundaries and inappropriate relationships. Of course there were those that toed the line (You still believed that Spencer and Elle had fooled around in the weeks leading up to her departure) and others had crossed the line (Penelope and Derek) but things had never gotten so intense. There were no weddings, dates, children between any of you. You all understood the importance of separation. How could you manage and sustain a relationship like this?

How would things change if one day someone felt that they weren't getting enough? You all had at one point or another prioritized work over your social life, and you all had seen exactly what a life like that led to you. It led to divorce and breakups that only appeared civil, but were really irreconcilable beneath the surface. Still, you push that all to the back of your mind, hand reaching forward to knock on the door. You take a small step backwards, giving her a chance to answer.

"Come in." she calls, and you take a deep breath before you push the door open. JJ's eyes widen the second she takes you in, and you wonder whether or not this was your smartest idea. "Oh..." and she immediately stands up from her chair. "Hey, is everything okay?" she asks, and you're finally stepping inside, shutting the door behind you. It closes with a soft click, and the air suddenly feels charged.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Of course." she replies, "What's up?"

You think about starting off with a bit of small talk, hoping to ease into the obvious hard part with a bit of a buffer between you. You decide against it at the last minute. "The other night when you told me that you've... loved me for all seven years we've been friends, what exactly did you mean by that?" you pry, and JJ's face is immediately showing off her shock. Her eyes are wide, mouth dropping just slightly as she gaped at you.

"W-What?" she stammers, and you offer her a blank stare.

"It wasn't a difficult question, Jaige." you tell her and she doesn't really know how to respond. "Emily said-" and JJ's eyes are rolling, only because she couldn't believe that Emily had decided to confront you and turn it into an entire ordeal. You weren't obligated to reciprocate her feelings, and she really didn't need anyone fighting any battles for her, especially when she had already begun to make peace with moving on.

"Emily shouldn't have said anything to you, okay? After I left your house, I'll admit I was upset... but-" and she exhales, "You don't have to overcompensate for not feeling the same way by... bringing me coffee, and-and trying to relive that confession, okay? It's only going to hurt the both of us." she tells you sternly, and now it's your turn to be shocked. "It was really stupid of me to even mention it to you then, so we can just forget about it, okay? I'm happy you're back, but if that's it-" and then she's motioning to the door.

"JJ, I didn't know that you were confessing to me." you tell her. "Do you actually think I would've shut the door in your face if I did?"

"You know what? I actually don't know. I mean, the last few weeks we haven't exactly been seeing eye-to-eye." she reminds you, "And it's not like anytime during that conversation you ever gave me anything to work with." she reminds you. "You just did what you always do." she proceeds, and you scoff, growing offended.

"What I always do?" you hiss.

"Yeah, what you always do." she reiterates. "That thing you do where you pretend that nothing matters at all. Like you're just this impenetrable wall that feels nothing, isn't bothered, doesn't care." she says, and you're surprised to know that she thinks this about you. "Y/N, you're a profiler, isn't the whole point that you see the things other people don't?" she presses, "I mean, I don't know how much more clearer I can get. I told you that you were my priority, that doesn't exactly scream you're my best friend." JJ crosses her arms.

"We're not supposed to profile each other." you counter, and you think in a way this is you deflecting again. You didn't know what to say, you didn't even really know how you felt. She shoots you a dry look.

"Okay, Y/N, maybe we aren't." she says with a deep breath, and a tired expression on her face. "I don't really know what you want from me..." and you're taking a small step backwards,

"I'm just trying to understand-" and she's cutting you off instantly.

"There's nothing for you to understand." she snips, and your attitude towards JJ is back, your face screwed up.

"Okay then." you snap, and JJ seems to notice her mistake, her eyes instantly softening, but you both know that it's much too late now.

"Thank you for the coffee..." she gripes, almost like it hurts to say the words, "But I think maybe it's best if just for a little while, we give each other some space." she looks down at the ground. You blink, and you think you might burst into tears, your face and neck scalding hot.

"Is that what you want?" you question, and you ball your hands up into fists at your side.

"Yeah, it is." she agrees, though she doesn't mean it.

"Fine." and before she can really wrap her head around this decision, you're storming out of her office, allowing the door to slam shut behind you. It's childish really, but you can't find it in you to care. The excitement you'd felt that morning at the thought of reconciling with your friend was long gone. All that was left was the knowledge that JJ was supposedly in love with you, and the fact that you liked her a lot more before you found out.

[sunnystaytiny2018]

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Ateez Fanfiction

Demon Seonghwa x Fem Reader

Smut

First Person POV

(Requests are opened as well if anyone wants to give me ideas)

Top!Seonghwa, female reader, Somnophilia, multiple orgasms, pussy eating, face riding, dick pounding, femboy!Seonghwa, femboy, Demon dick, choking, marking, succubus sex, stranger sex, breeding kink, pet names (angel, sweetheart, baby), supernatural sex, smut

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I felt stupid. Standing here staring at the damn pentagon I had made with ash from my parent's fireplace. Red and Black candles flickering through the basement that I was currently in.

How could I have actually gone through all of this? For what? To get laid?I looked down at the spell again in the book. I had been practicing the pronunciation for weeks and I still failed. I tried chanting again to no avail. Everything was still. No magical dark wind, no candles blowing out, and certainly not a demon appearing.

I sighed and threw the book back on my shelf. I knew it wouldn't work. But not even some creepy shit happening? Something to get my heart racing? Nothing. The candles suddenly flicker for a moment and spun around instantly to see if someone had appeared. But to no avail, nobody, no, something wasn't there.

I sighed as I headed upstairs for dinner and have to try to act like I didn't just try to summon a demon in my parents' basement. The basement was like a little apartment studio for me.

I came back down after dinner and immediately prepared for bed. I was too disappointed to even look at the pentagram. I got into my red silk shorts and top set that I had gotten for Christmas on. I switched the fan on and then cuddled down comfortably into my comforter.

I woke up to the sound of rustling. My blanket had now been tossed to the floor. I was told by many I thrashed a lot in my sleep. My legs were propped up with my feet on the bed. I groaned tiredly and went to shut my legs but something stopped my legs. I'm blinked in confusion until a moan rippled from my lips as a solid and broad stroke ran across my pussy and clit.

This was when I noticed my thighs were bruised and quivering, thrown over the male that was licking my pussy like it was the best ice cream he wanted to savor. My body covered in a sheen layer of sweat. All I could see of him was his long black hair and his hands that were now holding my thighs. I let out another moan as he delved his tongue deeper and towards my clenching pussy entrance.

"Who.. who are you?" I moaned and that's when I got a slight peek of his face as he lifted his head slightly to look at me. His eyes glinted dangerously, a dark storm that took my breath away.

"You don't even recognize the demon you summoned?" He asked as I heard the sound of him slurping my juices off his lips.

"N-No way..."

"Sorry, I was late, Mortal." He said as he sat up to his full height looking down at my soaked cunt. He spit on his hand and rubbed my clit as he bit his lower lip. I quivered as I saw his full appearance. He was hot and beautiful at the same time. His dark long hair to his nape, a crop top giving me a full view of his beautifully sculpted slutty waist and abs, and finally, a demon skirt hugging his hips.

I had never been much into Fem boys but boy, did this demon know how to pull it off. It almost made me feral. I almost wanted reverse rolls and show him how good I could dominate him. You let out a yelp as he smacked my wet pussy. I let out a quick and short yelp.

"You're so responsive, and a heavy sleeper..." He said as he leaned down and gave your pussy lips another stroke with his tongue, his eyes rolling back as if it was the tastiest thing in the whole universe. "You know you came twice before waking up?" He asked as he lazily stroked two fingers along my pussy lips. My clit was swollen and sensitive, telling me he wasn't lying.

"So you've just been... Eating me out while I was asleep?"

"Well, sweetheart. I was summoned for a reason. you being asleep wasn't about to stop me. Besides, you were enjoying it. The way you were squirming and moaning..." He let out a groan as his head fell back thinking about it. "You're so responsive when you are asleep.. I can't wait to see how responsive you are awake." He purred as he lowered his mouth back to my pussy. I was going to protest until his tongue pushed past my folds and inside my pussy. I let out a loud and startled gasp, my hand flying to my mouth.

My back arched in response. He once again held my thighs over his shoulders as he started eating me. His tongue and teeth are doing everything just right to pleasure me. My mouth was slackened open as I moaned and whimpered into my hand. One hand went to my clit and one went to grope at one of my thighs. I let out whimpers as my thighs were sensitive. My friends would always get startled when I panicked at them setting their hand on my thighs. My thighs were sensitive and a big turn on for me and it seemed like he knew that from how much my thighs had been marked up by his mouth and the way he was squeezing it now.

That wasn't the only thing clenching...

I panted and moaned as his tongue pleased me in an intense way. But I wanted more, I needed more. I wanted it harder. I wanted it faster. I needed it. I struggled to sit up as pleasure rushed over me in waves with each stroke of his tongue. He didn't seem to care why I was moving. I used the position to my advantage and used my legs and thighs to throw him onto his back with his face buried in my pussy.

"Oh fuck yes." He muffled against my pussy and began to eat it ravenously. It quickly took my breath away and I shook above his face for a moment before I settled all the way down and began to jerk my hips. He let out groans into my dripping pussy as I began to ride his face. Sliding my pussy up and down along his mouth and tongue. My thighs were burning and cramping as he encouraged me to ride his face. He tried to bury his face deeper and deeper in my hungry pussy. My moans came faster and became higher pitched as a new orgasm arrived quickly.

"Fuck! Just like that! Fuck yes~" I mewled as my pussy clamped down and his finger continued working my clit. I gave my hips soft jerks as I rode out my high, which he seemed more than happy to give me. Soon enough, I was flipped onto my back once more. His eyes weren't the only thing gleaming now that his face was covered in my pussy juices, which he licked.

"Fuck, that's even better than I imagined. I might come visit you often, Mortal." He purred as he kneaded my hips. "I've never seen one react so sexily like you.." I let out a whimper.

"You get summoned for this often?" I questioned and he grinned wickedly as he pushed down his skirt and revealed a dick you had never seen before. It was similar to a human dick but it had ridges, it almost seemed like it was made for giving more pleasure for fucking.

"Pretty, isn't it Sweetheart? And to answer your question... Yes. I'm a succubus." He purred as he let a hand travel over your breasts and down to give your pussy another stroke, as if to make sure I was still drenched. It was huge and standing erect with its ridges and swollen head. A throb of something in my chest made me feel strange. What was it? I didn't like the idea that he had been with others? Why am I feeling this way? He's just a demon I summoned to fuck me. That's it. A relationship or feelings was not in the terms.

I grabbed his hips as I panted, looking up at him. My eyes traveled from head to toe. I couldn't help but feel my pussy clench at the idea of fucking me with abandon in that denim skirt he was wearing. The idea was so painfully delicious, making me almost cum on the spot.

"I want you to fuck me with this skirt of yours still on.." I said as I pulled the skirt by its waistband and back in his slender waist, the skirt unable to hide the big hard erection he had raging underneath the fabric. A smirk slowly spread across his face as he pulled his skirt up to reveal his pretty dick once more. It was weird using the word 'pretty' for a dick but it was the only word that made sense. He pushed his hands from your hips, to your abdomen, to your breasts and finally settled on your neck. He softly wrapped a hand around it, firm but almost comforting.

I looked up at him and pressed my lips together as he gave himself a couple strokes despite already being hard. Using his thumb and hand to spread the precum along his dick. The lewd sound of his hand squeezing the sensitive flesh as his hand around my neck slowly increased in pressure. His head fell backwards as groans escaped his mouth.

"Shit, I can barely control myself.." He grunted as he gave himself another jerk. "I've never not been able to control myself.." He said before giving a growl and hiking my legs on his shoulders and lining up with my pussy entrance. I let out a low moan as he slowly pushed his swollen head in. My back arched off the bed from the pleasurable burn as he stretched me wide.

"Oh my God....!" I moaned out as he slowly sank into me, stretching me wider and wider with his ridged dick. The pain was immense, my vision blurring and seeing the searing white. But this feeling, this pleasure, this feeling was too much. It felt wrong yet right. There could even be a possibility of this man not being a demon at all and actually someone who broke in and decided to take advantage of me. And right now, I didn't really care. In fact the idea made my pussy clench. He smirks as he feels my tight pussy clench tighter. He leaned closer, his breath fanning over my face in a sexy way. His breath smelt like bubble gum and mint.

How odd.

"What are you thinking about that's getting you more worked up, Sweetheart?" He asked as he gave me a small thrust. I sucked in a breath. I didn't want to tell him, then I would really seem crazy. I remained silent and his grin only grew wider. "Oh, I see. It was something really dirty, huh?" He asked, his hips started to move, picking up pace as if the idea was making him hornier. "Something real nasty. What is it, huh? Tell me. Tell me, Sweetheart." He said desperately as he caressed my face, tucking hair behind my ear while pounding into me, making me lose my breath every time.

"I-" I gasped, I couldn't say it. The words were caught in my throat. I shook my head with a flush and Seonghwa only seemed even more fueled. He continued his thrusts and reached a hand between us to rub my clit. A whimper escaped my lips as his fingers collided with my clit.

"Come on, Baby. Tell me what it is. It must be sinfully delicious to make you clench me so tight. Fuck, you're going to break it in half." He panted as he looked down between us. Watching his dick push in and out without any resistance. The squelching sound loud in the basement. He watched it with a pervert grin and his ridges seemed to get even harder. "Tell me."

"I was just thinking-" I gasped, "that you could easily be an intruder and not actually a demon sinfully good at pleasuring someone." He grinned widely as he began to pound into me harder making me get closer and closer to cumming.

"Does that turn you on? That I could easily be a stranger that broke in and saw a sexy curvy beauty asleep in her innocent yet sexy pj's. I just wanted a taste." He whispers seductively in my ear and a shiver runs through my body. "You just looked so delicious. A little piece... Of heaven. Come on, Angel. Cum for me. Come on, Sweetheart." My body trembled as it tensed painfully before exploding pleasure through my body as I clamped on his big dick. "That really turns you on huh? Fuck. You're kinky." He said jerking his hips up into me.

I couldn't respond as my mouth laid slack as my body spasmed. Jerking and twitching as he kept pushing into me until he finally cummed inside me.

"Fuck yeah, baby. Take it all. Take it and get fucking pregnant, Sweetheart." He grunted as he continued to pump into me. My mind was fuzzy and my body was nothing but melted goo for his handling.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." I panted as he fucked my overstimulated pussy, pushing me quickly to another orgasm. I quickly took control once more, wanting it my own way now. I pulled his head by his hair and began to kiss and suck on his neck. He let out a hum in approval. I let my hands travel, going and cupping his ass through the denim skirt. He let out an approving growl at the way I was touching him and kissing his neck.

"I like when a woman takes control." He grinned in a sexy way and bit his lower lip. I started to ride his dick with moans and he groaned in response. Soon enough he was helping me slam myself down on him. He made me orgasm after orgasm, until I passed out from exhaustion. And when I woke up, the pentagram had been broken and my mysterious lover gone.

[cobaltperun]

Woe out the Storm (7) - Save Me

Wednesday Addams x female Reader

Summary: It took some time, but eventually you came to realize only Wednesday Addams could look at the raging storm of chaos and destruction and make a home out of it. Only she could listen to the cacophony of the roaring thunder and hear a melody.

Story warnings: Wednesday Addams, violence, slow burn

Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

Word count: 3.6k

-Help me tonight, I'm closer to the edge tonight, I'm standin' on the ledge-

Wednesday had a vision, that much you figured out, and it made you worried. Every single time she had a vision it was something violent from the past or the present, related to what she touched. And this time she touched you.

You dreaded it.

The mere idea that Wednesday could touch you and see the one time you nearly lost control was terrifying, even if she likely wouldn’t see an issue in it. That night, that storm, it was a blur in your mind, all you knew was that when you regained some control there were your claw marks on the wall of your room. But no one was hurt, and no one even saw your beast form, they heard it though, and they refused to get anywhere near you for weeks after hearing it. Yoko described it as a loud, terrifying roar that made her feel like she couldn’t move, it was like she was paralyzed by fear for a bit.

“Do you need a moment?” you asked as you stepped out of Wednesday’s immediate personal space. You missed the cold of her skin, it was nice, a contrast to your constant warmth. You were a raiju, you always had lightning coursing through your body, keeping you warm regardless of the weather.

Wednesday remained silent, but you could somewhat read her by now, she did need a moment. Between whatever she saw and frankly an intense dance you couldn’t blame her.

“I’m fine,” she denied it, and you were left accepting her decision. If Wednesday decided something not a lot could change her mind.

The two of you continued dancing, though in a much tamer way now, just going along with the music, in Wednesday’s own way of course. That intensity of the first dance simmered down and while you still felt like her gaze pierced through your soul there was also something there you couldn’t quite decipher. As if she was struggling with something deep down and you had no idea what it was. The vision? The dance itself? You’d likely never know.

Eventually, not too long before the night would come to a close, the two of you separated and you went to catch some air in the pentagon. Drinks were out of the question; they weren’t fit for you. You found Galpin outside, looking like he was sulking by the tree in the middle of the pentagon.

Yeah, you weren’t getting close to him, there was water there…

“Why aren’t you with Wednesday?” he asked, completely unprompted when he noticed you.

You frowned at that and leaned back against one of the pillars. “Why aren’t you with your date, whoever that is?” you didn’t care, at the same time, you really didn’t feel like explaining yourself to him.

“She looked…” Galpin paused as he looked into the distance, sulking somberly. “like being with you didn’t bother her.”

If it was said about anyone else, it likely would have been a bad thing, after all saying your date didn’t look bothered by being with you wasn’t much of a compliment. But this was Wednesday, and her not being bothered by being with someone was probably as good as it could get.

“I think I caught her smiling when you couldn’t see her face,” now that was difficult to believe.

“Jealousy is making you see things, Galpin,” you grinned a bit, still, it was a nice thought, that you could, at least somewhat, be responsible for Wednesday Addams smiling. You certainly wished that was the case, but, again, you were talking about Wednesday.

He didn’t deny his jealousy, he just huffed and went back inside. You remained there for a bit longer, taking in the fresh air. It didn’t feel like there’d be a storm tonight, you could relax. You could enjoy being Wednesday’s date for the rest of the night and then sleep the exhaustion off. With a bit of a goofy smile on your face you went back inside, and just in time as well, as the DJ called everyone to the dance floor one last time. Your eyes found Wednesday and the two of you met in the middle of the crowd as ‘Physical’ began playing.

You were just about to start dancing, hoping to get one last dance with Wednesday when you felt it. A single drop landed on your right shoulder, the liquid soaking through your button-up shirt and connecting with your skin.

You looked up, frozen in shock as red liquid began pouring down on you and everyone and everything around you. Red paint mixed with water, and that made it even worse as it stuck to your skin.

You couldn’t get away.

At this point, it didn’t even matter.

The other students were screaming, panicking, and running outside, some due to the paint, some due to you being there, some simply due to others around them doing the same. The screams were too much, too loud, yet distant at the same time, the overwhelming scent of paint made you lose focus as it caused a headache you’d remember for a long time.

It was too much; you couldn’t contain it. You dropped down to your knees, barely holding the lightning in.  Wednesday and Enid were still near you; Wednesday was right in front of you. Red sparks surrounded you, traveling through the paint on the floor. Much to your relief, you didn’t hear anyone screaming out of pain. The voltage was still too low, and it dispersed enough for no one to get hurt. You closed your eyes as tightly as you could and repeatedly punched the floor, frustrated by the pain and sensory overload you were feeling.

“Y/N,” you heard Wednesday’s voice, you were vaguely aware of her kneeling down in front of you as you cried out.

“Stay away!” you yelled, begging internally for anyone to take Wednesday away, because she wouldn’t stand back, she’d welcome the danger, unaware of how little control over yourself you’d have if you shifted

“Wednesday you need to get away! She can’t control it!” you never thought you’d be happy to hear Thornhill’s voice.

You dared to open your left eye and look, hoping to see Wednesday being pulled away from you. Instead, you saw Wednesday’s head snapping back as she had another vision. You couldn’t consider what that meant, or who she touched, you just clenched your fists as the colors around you began losing their brightness, as the world became more muted, and fear engulfed your entire being. You were so damn close to shifting, to taking on the form of the beast and as it was there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Eugene is in the woods, he’s in danger!” Wednesday suddenly said and you could have sworn you saw conflict on her paint covered face as she looked between you and the doors.

Through the panic and confusion, you saw your opportunity. “Go! Go and help him!” you shouted at her, your eyes meeting, you weren’t even considering the fact that you were basically sending her into an equally dangerous situation. “Wednesday go! You can’t do anything for me!” you just wanted her to stay away from you, to not be anywhere near if you shifted into your beast form. Whatever the monster in the woods was it would be safer than your beast form.

A violent burst of lightning broke the staring contest between you and her and you dropped down, your hands clutching at the sides of your head as a bolt of lightning hit the table and the scent of burnt cloth overpowered the smell of paint just for a couple of moments.

“Go, I’ll handle Y/N,” you heard Weems’ voice, filled with caution and panic.

“You better,” that seemed to get Wednesday to move. Well, at least now it was just you and Weems.

“You need to let it happen, Y/N. Just shift and this all ends,” Weems, for the first time in four years you spent at Nevermore actually encouraged you to shift.

“No!” you refused, you had no idea if you could control it and you were not about to find out when you could hurt so many people.

For a moment the principal touched you and then pulled her hand back as if burnt. Considering how much lightning was coursing through you, she likely was burnt. “You’ll only hurt yourself If you don’t shift,” she gently argued, as if you weren’t aware of that.

Could you do it? Could you trust yourself to stay in control? “I can’t, just let me discharge!” you’d do it, if only Weems wasn’t there, everything was ruined anyway, if you discharged here the additional damage wouldn’t be as bad.

Weems sighed and backed away from you. “Fine, but keep it as contained as you can,” she agreed and stepped outside.

With no one around you, you gave in, letting the lightning burst through. It was a violent dance of destruction, as red as the paint beneath you. The tables closest to you cracked, the glasses shattered, the decorations caught on fire, the yeti melted in a burst of heat as even more water surrounded you, and as more water surrounded you the lightning got stronger, making the steam rise up. You had no idea how long the discharge lasted, or the extent of the damage, or even if you damaged the actual building, you just let it all out, all the built up electricity you’ve been holding in.

The words ‘give in’ echoed in your head as the lightning settled down and the colors returned to the world around you. You didn’t give in, you weren’t going to give in, for as long as you could you’d find ways to not shift.

You managed to get back up, albeit on shaky feet, the burst of lightning dried up the paint and it would be a pain in the ass to wash it off, but that was still better than the alternative option. You stumbled outside and stopped when you saw Weems. “I’m going upstairs,” you muttered, feeling exhausted yet still buzzing with lightning, even after all that you still didn’t discharge all of your energy. All of the exhaustion was physical, as far as the reserves of electricity and lightning went, you figured you depleted about half of it.

Weems nodded, and you couldn’t help but notice that she was hiding her left hand. As cruel as it was a part of you thought that she should have known better than to touch you.

~X~

It should have been her.

Wednesday Addams did not feel regret. She firmly believed people had no right to complain about the consequences of their actions, thus regret itself was meaningless. She made several choices tonight, and each of those choices would haunt her for the foreseeable future, but she wouldn’t dare regret them.

Realizing what the right choice was, however, was a different story. And the right choice was to take you along and go with Eugene. None of this would have happened if she did that, that’s what Wednesday thought as she stood near your bed and watched you. Your body would twitch occasionally, she guessed lightning was the cause of those involuntary movements.

It should have been her.

If Wednesday decided to go with Eugene, and if you were there, you wouldn’t have gotten paint all over you, and you more than likely would have protected Eugene. And if you protected Eugene he wouldn’t be fighting for his life, as he was doing right now. So, yes, Wednesday did, in fact, make a horrible mistake in judgment and she was tortured by it, plagued by it as she was constantly reminded of it by simply looking at you.

She’d be reminded of it every time she stepped outside and glanced in the direction of the hall Rave’N was held in, as even now, in the middle of the night, she could see the lightning marks on the walls, she could see the cracked gargoyle statue above the entrance to the hall and she’d see that until someone fixed it.

She should have been in the woods, alone, because this was her investigation.

You, on the other hand, would see it long after that, because even Wednesday understood how much you despised the idea of not having control over your lightning. She knew, she heard from Enid, that you still felt awful about the claw marks on your wall. It was fixed, but the faint marks could still be seen, and Wednesday wondered what kind of beast could cause that kind of damage.

Another part of her wished she was there to see it, to see that wild and untamable lightning spiraling out of control. To see you when you weren’t restraining yourself.

“W-Wednesday?” you blinked several times, your voice stopping her train of thought. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, completely honest. After all, she really was fine. “Eugene is in critical condition. The monster attacked him,” she stated as she turned around.

Your reaction was immediate, and though she didn’t see it, she heard you throwing the covers off and jumping to your feet. “What?! What about you? Did the monster attack you?!” the sound of you stumbling back and abruptly sitting back down nearly made Wednesday turn back around. You got up too quickly, and as exhausted as you were you got dizzy.

“It was gone by the time I reached him,” she replied, making her way to her part of the room. Seeing the pitiful state, you were in was only making the guilt she felt even stronger.

“Damn it,” she still heard you cursing as she stood in front of the window and stared outside. Enid would come out of the bathroom soon and then Wednesday could get the paint off her skin. “How are you feeling?” your question took her by surprise, and she looked up to see you leaning sideways against the wall so you could stay on your feet. “The paint, and the allergy,” you clarified.

Wednesday didn’t feel good, especially since she, in her glee over thinking it was blood and not aware of what was happening to you, tasted the paint. Normally she wouldn’t mind feeling bad, but her allergy wasn’t her preferred cause of discomfort. It was still much better than what Eugene was going through, so in her mind she didn’t deserve a reprieve from the allergic reaction. “Do not concern yourself with me,” she replied, still refusing to show any weakness.

“That won’t help Eugene,” you said, stumbling over to Wednesday with a white towel and a bottle of water, distilled water she guessed. You soaked the towel and held it out to her, but she refused to take it. You might believe it wouldn’t help Eugene, but she didn’t intend to help Eugene, she intended to bear with the consequences of her actions.

She should have been the one fighting for her life.

“Wednesday,” you sighed, and she guessed exhaustion made you forget about self-preservation because the very next moment you were taking Wednesday’s hand and cleaning the paint off of it. Your hands felt warm, even through the towel, probably due to the lightning you discharged. It wasn’t too hot, but if a regular person was that hot they would be having a severe fever.

As she watched the towel turn red Wednesday guessed this was a form of torture as well, So, she allowed it. She allowed you to clean her hands, she remained silent as you went back to your part of the room and took another towel, she remained perfectly still when you brought that towel up to her face. “Eugene will be fine, he’s a strong kid,” you whispered, so softly it made Wednesday feel sick. “It’s the monster’s fault,” you pulled away, not daring to push her further, you were already more than bold for touching her hands and face.

“It should have been me,” she firmly stated, leaving no room for arguments as she allowed you to hear what she felt. There, by the window, with just the two of you, somehow she felt like she could just come out and say it.

You shook your head. “It shouldn’t have been anyone,” but you were wrong.

She chose to get involved, and her actions had consequences, only, this time, the wrong person paid the price.

When Enid came out of the bathroom, she found the two of you still by the window, just standing there in silence. Wednesday felt nauseous, but you being there, somehow made her feel less guilty. You being there calmed her down, prevented her from spiraling deeper into that thought, that it should have been her, and she couldn't understand why you had that effect on her.

She still inched a bit closer to you, and somehow, the warmth radiating from your body didn't bother her in a bad way. It bothered her, but in a way that she didn't mind.

~X~

The week after the Rave’N was… uneventful. Eugene was in a coma, but he’d make a full recovery, and you, well, the students avoided you like a plague. Most understood the damage you caused wasn’t intentional, but, much like how one wouldn’t risk looking at gorgon’s snakes, they wouldn’t risk being close to you either.

Enid had to pull you away from the damaged wall several times, as you’d just sit and stare at it, wondering if there was anything you could have done to stop it. You were just thankful no one got hurt.

You supposed you should be grateful for small mercies.

And now there was a parents’ weekend and you should have been happy, but you really wished your father would show up this year. You wanted to talk to him, to ask him what to do, how to better control yourself. Your mom tried, she really did, but there wasn’t much she could tell you, simply not being a raiju was enough to make her unable to help you. And being a normie made it even more impossible for her to do anything other than offer her unconditional love and support.

“Y/N!” and she did just that, rushing to hug you the moment she stepped outside the taxi. “I missed you so much!” she held you close, pouring all of her love for you into that hug.

“I missed you too, mom,” you relaxed in an instant, and it felt like everything was perfectly fine, like nothing could ever go wrong as long as you knew she’d be on your side. The soft scent of her perfume, the warmth and softness of her coat, the way she soothed you by rubbing circles over your back. You closed your eyes, burning the moment into your memory.

“Your principal told me what happened, don’t worry about it, okay? I called Elijah, he’ll come as soon as he can,” she whispered, reassuring you and surprising you at the same time.

You pulled back a bit, watching her with wide eyes. “Dad is coming?” you couldn’t help but ask.

She nodded, smiling softly. “I couldn’t let him slack off when you need him,” she ruffled your hair a bit. “We’ll figure it all out, as a family,” and you believed her.

“Come on, let’s go to the shed,” you grinned, taking her hand and leading her to your own personal place. She was more than accepting of you being a raiju, she knew what she was getting into when she fell in love with your dad, but she still felt more comfortable when it was just her and you. Besides, you could properly catch up, and she’d only stay for a few hours, so the shed was truly the best option.

The shed, as you called it, was well, a shed. A small wooden building you cleaned and fixed up and used as storage and club spot. The shelves were filled with old electronic devices, from cameras, to computers, to blenders and coffee machines, and then there were different pieces from different devices. Enid once told you that, if you were given time and motivation you could create an electronic monstrosity and set it free on the town.

As if you needed to create one.

“So, Enid told me you have a crush,” you nearly tripped over nothing when your mom said that.

“I do not! Wednesday is just a friend damn it!” you shouted, and maybe you were willing to admit Wednesday may have an effect on you, as you caught yourself thinking about ways to get even with Enid for this.

“I never said you had a crush on Wednesday,” your mom’s teasing grin would haunt you tonight…

“You don’t have to. I know what Enid thinks,” you grumbled as you sat on the chair and slumped back with your arms crossed over your chest. “The gossip queen of Nevermore.”

Your mom's laughter quickly filled the shed, and you couldn't help but join in. "I may have a bit of a crush on her, but that's... I don't think she's interested in that," even if she did allow you to do a lot of things you never thought Wednesday would allow anyone.

"Being a raiju doesn't mean you won't find the right person," your mom said softly.

You groaned at that. "Come on! Leave me alone!" you whined, not really wanting to open that can of worms. "Besides, it's not being a raiju, it's just Wednesday being Wednesday," hell, you dared to think being a raiju was a plus in Wednesday's book.

Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

[boldlyvoid]

Bigger than the Whole Sky | Part One: Peter Losing Wendy

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: Reader has been with the BAU for 2 months when she walks into the bullpen with a fat lip and a bloody nose. Her husband's been keeping secrets and breaking her heart for almost a decade now. However, it takes her 10 minutes to decide she's done with him.

Aaron has been harbouring a crush on our dear reader for as long as she's been on the team... he knew it would never go anywhere when she was married, but that crush goes from a hopeless dream to a heartstopping love faster than he could say "be mine."

Warnings: spousal abuse (physical and mental), infertility, self-esteem issues, friends to lovers, divorce meetings

word count: 8.1k

fic Masterlist

When she transferred to the BAU, everyone knew she had a husband. The thing no one knew was that her marriage was dangerously close to falling apart. No one ever suspected it in her personal life, however, in a room full of profilers… she couldn’t hide the problems for long. 

At this point, the BAU had gone through enough female profilers to know that there was no telling what was going on in their personal lives. Between JJ’s secret time at the Pentagon and Emily’s time with the CIA, they had no reason to suspect their newest agent was in an unhappy marriage… especially not one where she had been trying to get pregnant for years and gaslit the whole time that it was her fault that they couldn’t conceive. 

Peter, her husband, was happy to start trying in the beginning, they ditched condoms a few months into their relationship and she discarded her birth control a few months after they tied the knot. At first, the sex was fun, the first handful of negative tests just caused them to fuck more often and in different positions and times of the day… then the heartbreak settled in as her friends and family around her age started popping out babies while she only saw negatives. 

This went on for years. 8 years to be exact. 8 years of monthly devastation means her heart was broken 72 times and Peter never cared. Each month he told her to get over it and try again… It wasn’t until she brought up going to a fertility specialist that her he finally snapped at her. He said she could go, she could get her hostile uterus checked and get the broken title while he stayed at home. He refused to test his sperm, he refused to go to appointments, he said IVF was a waste of money and a surrogate was too “unnatural” for him to feel comfortable. He didn’t even want to adopt or foster. 

For a year she left it alone. Too busy with work, she put her focus into trying to climb the corporate ladder and land her dream job with the BAU. There, she made friends, she made connections, too… JJ gave her the number for a fertility specialist that she was seeing in private and Y/N made the appointment. 

“Hey, Pete!” She called from her closet as she got ready for work. 

“What?” He showed up in the doorway, buttoning his shirt. “I have to leave, the markets are open already.” 

“I know… I made you an appointment at the fertility specialist I talked to you about, it's tonight at 6. All you have to do—

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He blew up, turning redder than a stop sign. “I said I wasn’t going to one of these fucking—

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?” She yells louder, “They said it’s not me, I’m fine, it’s clearly you—

He charged her, pushing her against the organizing cabinet and holds her there by her throat, “I’m not fucking broken.”

“No?” She croaks out, afraid but trying not to show it. Treating him like an unsub. “Seems to me like you are. Maybe we shouldn’t have any fucking kids if you’re going to be so controlling.” 

The words hurt enough and then he swung, he let go of her throat and punched her right in the mouth, hoping to shut her up. It was just 1 punch but it felt like an earthquake, taking her dreams and turning them into nothing but rubble. He jumps back, realizing what he just did, and his whole body shook with rage.

She remembers it in slow motion. The crunch of cartilage in her nose, the rush of blood down to her lips that caused her hand to come up and cup her chin saving her white shirt from an inevitable stain… if it wasn’t the bloody nose that ruined her white dress shirt, it was the way he ripped her heart out of her chest and threw it on the ground with the rest of her broken dreams. 

He didn’t even apologize. He just stares at his hand, “Do you see what you’ve made me do? I was never going to be the husband who hit his wife. I was never going to become my father. If you didn’t push and push and push to have fucking kids we wouldn’t be here, Y/N! Do you want to know the truth?? Why we haven’t had kids yet? I had a fucking vasectomy before we met. Okay?! Is that want you wanted the doctors to tell you? I don’t want your fucking kids!!! I don’t even want you anymore!” 

“Okay,” is all she says. Her eyes are wide and her breathing is heavy. She’s stuck there, frozen in the moment. She can’t believe that just happened. “Okay.” She repeats, mainly to calm herself.

She can’t say anything else. She just watches him turn and leave, she hears him gather his things and then the front door slams. He’s gone. Just like that, he’s gone. 

At that moment she decided she couldn’t do this. The gaslighting, the name calling, the loneliness… for almost a decade of marriage, she’s spent more time alone than with him. And not because they were working or busy with their separate friends, he just stopped spending time with her after they got married, like tying the knot made her his property and now he didn’t have to try to make her like him. Once he had her, he kept her. 

Not anymore. 

That same day was also the marker of her being with the BAU for 2 months. Everything had been ramping up to this point, she can’t lie and say she was surprised that he snapped and hit her. He’s been getting angrier and she’s been losing interest in him… all she wanted was a baby. The only person who suspected anything at work was Hotch, and in his own Hotchner way, he was dropping little hints that he knew something was going on. He’d ask her about her nights at home, he called her into his office to share takeout when he saw her at her desk well into the night, he always says he’s there for her, but she didn’t know what he meant until now. He was waiting for the day she told him about the abuse. He could sense it. 

Now that she’s staring at herself in the mirror, wondering how she could hide the bruises before work, she realizes he was trying to tell her she was a part of their family. One that would go to war for her if she needed them. So she took him up on that offer and arrived to work with her fat lip and swelling around her eyes on full display. She didn’t even change her shirt. 

“Oh, my god?” Penelope reacted first, rushing over to her with the click-clack of her heels alerting everyone in the room that she was in a hurry. She cups Y/N’s face gently, “Who did this to you?” 

“Holy shit,” Derek says a bit too loud, alerting JJ and Spencer over at their shared desk, who turn and ask “Are you okay?” At the same time.

She was already close to tears before she walked through the double glass doors of the bullpen, saying his name only made her burst into tears. “Peter, he-he—“ she buries her face in Penelope’s shoulder and lets out her cries, sobbing as reality finally hit her as well.

Penny is quick to get her up the stairs and into the briefing room, away from everyone else, she closes all the blinds and politely asks Anderson, who’s already in there, to get some ice and the first aid kit, all while Y/N takes a seat in her usual spot. “I’m so stupid, I should’ve known. I should’ve—

Derek is quick to follow them, he sits beside her and rubs her back, soothingly. “No, no, sweetheart,” Derek stops her, “It is never a woman’s fault when a cowardly man uses violence to feel powerful. No matter what you said or did, it is not your fault. This is all on him. He’s the problem.” 

“I just wanted a baby,” she admits, lip quivering. 

“Oh, honey,” Penelope’s shoulders drop and she tilts her head to the side, “he’s not the kind of man—

“I’ve been trying to get pregnant since a few weeks after our wedding and he always made it feel like it was my fault that it wasn’t working…” She takes a deep breath, shaking her head, she can’t believe this part is even true. “When in reality he had a vasectomy before we even met. He’s been infertile for the last 10 fucking years and made me feel like it was me who had the problem the whole time.” 

“Are you serious?” Penelope can’t believe it. “And he just never told you?” 

She nods, “I think he thought I’d give up trying at some point and just deal with it… but I want to be a mom. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and he just never thought to tell me he didn’t want the same things. He really thought I’d just give up on my dreams like they’re nothing.” 

The icepack and first aid kit don’t show up with Anderson, instead, it’s Hotch who is standing in the doorway, listening to what’s going on before he makes himself known. He clears his throat and starts to enter. “Penelope, Derek, could you give us a minute?” 

“But— yes sir.” Penelope is quick to give up, and Derek follows suit, the two of them don’t want to leave but they know Aaron has it covered. 

“Aaron…” She doesn’t know what else to say. She feels ashamed, she wants to hide. She doesn’t want him to see her like this but then again, he’s the whole reason she showed up at work like this at all. 

He takes a seat beside her and hands her the icepack, “has he done this before?” 

She shakes her head, “no.” 

“Alright,” he believes her as he opens up the kit. “This is fresh… did it happen this morning or last night?” 

“Before he left this morning,” she answers, shaking her head as the tears start. “I made an appointment for him to go to the clinic after work and he lost it. He finally told me the truth about his vasectomy after he hit me.”

“My divorce lawyer is really good,” he explains, peeling open a bandaid for just above her eyebrow. “If we take some photos of this and document it then it’ll help with your case. Did you have a prenup?” 

She shakes her head, “no, he said we didn’t need one, we were in similar tax brackets when we got married and he said he didn’t see us ever getting a divorce anyway. I believed him.” 

“You make more money than him, now, this will ensure he can’t sue for spousal support or anything. I’m going to be frank, you need to leave him before this gets worse.” 

“I know.” 

They just stare at each other for a few moments after that. “Aaron?” 

“Yes?” 

“What am I going to do now? How do I just start all over again? I want kids and I’m already old enough, I can’t just wait to see if I fall in love again and then wait for the right time to ask them for a baby. I want kids now,” she explains. “But I can’t do it on my own, I can’t. I wanted to do it with my husband.” 

“It’s going to be hard, I won’t lie,” Aaron is honest. “But, if I can be honest… you’re beautiful and smart and when you’re ready, love will find you. I know it.” 

“Thanks,” she tries her best to believe it. It’s just hard to do right now. “What’s your lawyers name?”

“Andrea Cortez, she’s the best in the business… but if you really wanted to hurt him back, you should call all the lawyers in the area, pretend to fish around so that when he goes looking for a lawyer, everyone that’s good will have to turn him away.” 

“How do you know this?” 

“It took me a while to find someone who would take on my case,” Aaron admits. “Haley didn’t do it on purpose, she was just trying to find one who didn’t go to college with me but it ended up fucking me over in the long run… and then I found Andrea.” 

“Was it awful?” 

He shakes his head, “We didn’t go to court, we had a mediator and we settled it all ourselves. She got 70% custody, I’d see Jack on weekends and if I wanted him over spring break or during my vacation time then I just had to ask… it’s a lot harder when you have kids already.” 

“So I’ve been told…” 

“Have you thought about leaving him before?” Aaron can hear it in her voice. 

She nods, choking on a sob as she covers her face, her voice comes out in a quiver, “I just never admitted it to anyone.” 

“You have my support when you leave him. You’ll have Penelope and Derek, JJ, and Spencer, too. We’re going to be here for you while you adjust to this and we won’t ever let him hurt you again,” he says in the softest voice, he reaches out for her hand and holds it tight. “I’ll be here, especially. We can have dinner together more often and we can talk… I know how hard it is. I can be your friend through this.” 

She can’t help it, she’s so overwhelmed with emotions that she reaches over and pulls him into a hug that he gladly accepts. He rests his chin on her shoulder and holds her tight and he doesn’t plan to let go until she’s ready. 

—

A few nights later, after a week-long case, Aaron follows her home in his SUV with his gun still on his hip. He makes sure she gets into her home to pack her things without issue from Peter. She packs a few suitcases worth of clothes and Aaron helps her get them into her own car, “is this everything?” 

She nods, “Clothes wise… I’m just going to grab some of my favourite things, too,  I don’t imagine he’d break them but I also never thought he’d hit me, so.” 

“If you need to put stuff in my car, you can,” he offers as he follows her back inside. 

She uses some laundry baskets and fills them with pots, pans, throw blankets, trinkets, candles, you name it. She didn’t trust him at all, so she took almost everything that she knew was hers or just things she held dear since their wedding. As soon as it’s all in her car, she realizes just how real this is and she starts to cry again. 

“It’s okay,” Aaron runs his hand over her back. “Are you still going to stay with Penelope?” 

She nods, “Yeah, she said I can have her couch for the time being.” 

“You know what? Derek might have a place for you?” Aaron can’t help but think of when he was leaving Haley, Derek offered one of his houses that he was renovating to him. 

“How?” 

“Hold on,” Aaron digs his phone out of his pocket and calls him. “Hey… do you have any unoccupied homes right now?” 

Her eyes go wide, she didn’t know Derek as well as Hotch did, mainly because she hasn’t worked with him as long. 

“Can Y/N stay in it?… She’d really love that, thank you, Derek. We’ll meet you there… yes, you can bring Penelope,” he says with a smile before hanging up. “You’re in luck, he’s between renters on one of his properties.” 

“Aaron, thank you, really, you’ve made this so much easier than I ever thought it could be,” she can’t even express how much she appreciates him. 

“We’re a family,” he reminds her. “You can follow me, I know the way.” 

And so she does. 

It’s a quick drive, not too far from where she was living but also closer to work now too. She’s going to have to go grocery shopping and… fuck, she never even asked if this place is furnished. 

When they pull up, Aaron takes the road and she parks in the driveway, they sit on the front steps together and chat. Derek said he wouldn’t be too far behind them, he was close by but he takes longer than they expect. When he does pull up, however, he has his pickup truck and the back is full of furniture, including a mattress.

“Thank you,” she whispers so she doesn’t cry. 

“No problem… I have a storage unit with things for when I stage the homes after I flip them, you can use all of it if you want, but I thought we’d start with a bed.” 

“I literally love you,” she rushes out. 

“It’s nothing,” he brushes it off and hands her a key. “Now, while we carry in the heavy stuff, would you get the door for us?” 

“Anything for my knights in shining armour.” 

—

Hotch is a lot more open and soft than she ever expected. On the nights Jack is with his aunt— which are normally reserved for Aaron to do paperwork and stay late at the office, Arron instead, now has dinners with Y/N and watches movies with her on her new couch well into the morning. He even accompanies her to the lawyer's office to be her emotional support when recounting the years of abuse. 

And the abuse has continued even when she’s not in the same house as him or even talking to him. Peter texts her almost daily to say mean and terrible things, calling her a whore and accusing her of sleeping with someone else. He thinks that the reason she was able to leave so quickly is because she’s already with someone new… he even sends her pictures of their security footage from the night she moved out, already forgetting what her boss looked like as he accuses her of cheating with him. 

She wants to block his number but Hotch tells her not to, all the harassment will only help her case going forward. She keeps every message and Penelope prints out the text logs for her every few days to bring to her lawyer, who is astounded by what Peter is able to say every time. 

The day she had the divorce papers served to him, they were on a case in California and he called her phone 23 times. She didn’t answer any of them, she didn’t even listen to the messages he left. She had Penelope go in and forward them all to her lawyer, then delete them all off her cell for her. 

She sends him one last message to Peter that read: “If you have something to say, say it through your lawyer. Please don’t contact me again.” And then she blocks his number. 

They’re at Aaron's house this time, she doesn’t want to be alone tonight of all nights. With a couple boxes of Chinese take-out, they’re sitting at his dining table just talking about their days, like always, when her mind stumbles across her darker thoughts. 

“I took a huge step back in my life today.” 

“No, you haven’t,” Aaron assures.

“I had all these plans, I picked out baby names that went well with his last name, I imagined our nursery and what mothers days would be like and everything… every dream I had with him died and today I buried them.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but did you really want him to be the father of your kids knowing what you know now?” Aaron asks. “What if he hit your children?” 

“I know… it’s just hard,” she can’t help but feel awful.

“I’m sorry, I know. I know it’s hard, I shouldn’t be saying—

“It’s okay, I need to look at the bright side… I mean, sure, I had some big dreams that will never come true but I can make new dreams. I can become a new person. That girl I was with him is dead but I can make a new me. A better me,” she sits up straight and nods a few times while taking a deep breath. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“See what I mean?” Hotch teases, “you’re so strong, this is all going to work out for the best.” 

“Thank you,” she smiles, feeling bashful, compliments like this mean the world to her. 

“You know… something I tell Jack pretty often is that if we talk about things, memories can’t die and I’m pretty sure dreams are the same. If you ever want to talk about what you wanted, I’m always here to listen to you.” 

“Jack is very lucky to have you,” she compliments him first, her heart is too full to do anything but smile. “I really want a boy… I would be happy with any child but I’ve always dreamed about having a boy.”

“I was fairly certain Haley was having a girl the majority of Jack's pregnancy, she just had such a tiny bump and I could picture us with a little girl,” Aaron shares. “I don’t think I ever told you, but I have a younger brother who is 12 years younger than me, I practically raised him, so I wanted a little girl to get the whole experience, but having Jack was easy because I already knew what I was doing.” 

“You’d be fantastic as a girl dad,” she compliments him again and can’t help herself from imagining having his babies and imagining a whole life with him.

“Thank you,” it’s his turn to smile and blush a little. “I even had a list of girl names picked out, so figuring out a boy name was what was hard for us.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” 

“I really like J names, apparently? My list had Jane, Juliette, Juniper… I think they all sound good with Hotchner,” he explains and it’s the cutest thing. 

“I love that, I don’t know many men who would admit to having a baby names list,” she teases. 

He shrugs, “I guess I’m not like most men.” 

“You most certainly are not,” she says with an arch of her brow. “And according to Peter, you’re my ‘hot’ new boyfriend.” 

Hotch just laughs, “Men like him are so insecure they can’t handle the 1 woman who tolerated them giving any other man some attention. He would’ve done the same thing if it was Morgan or Reid at the door.”

“I just can’t believe I let it get to the point where he hit me.” 

“You loved him,” Hotch simplifies it. “It’s hard to just drop that… you’re a rare case where the second he laid his hands on you, you left.”

“For about 20 minutes I just stared in the mirror trying to figure out if I was going to call in sick or just cover it up with some makeup,” she admits. “I didn’t want to hide it from you guys and I didn’t want you to think I’m weak. I couldn’t take everything I’ve learned and abandon it just because I loved him… and then I realized I don’t remember the last time I loved all of him. I loved our memories, I loved the version of him he was when we got married, but I haven’t really loved him in a long time.” 

“You’re incredibly strong, it takes a lot of strength to figure that out,” Hotch can’t help but compliment her again. 

“Thank you,” she says, reaching her hand out over the table to hold his. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.” 

—

Aaron is sitting with her on the plane, on their way to their next case, when she gets a text from her lawyer. 

“His lawyer has reached out to me, he is fine with keeping the house and taking on the rest of the mortgage, he just wants you to pay him back for his half of the downpayment, he says it’s not fair that he will be paying the rest of the mortgage when all you did is pay that original $25k. He is fine without spousal support as long as the abuse stays quiet, he doesn’t want this to affect his own job. If you’re okay with that, I’ll tell him and he will sign the papers.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She says out loud, getting everyone's attention. 

“What happened?” Aaron asks, leaning over her shoulder to read the text as well. “oh… if that’s all he wants, I think it’s a good deal.” 

“I’m going to lose all my savings again,” she admits. “We put up 50 grand together and I gave him a thousand dollars each month for the mortgage, I lost— Reid?”

“25k with 1k a month for 8 and a half years that’s 127 thousand dollars,” Spencer answers right away. 

“Thanks… I have paid more for that house than I currently make in a year,” she can’t believe it. “I also bought all the groceries, all the cleaning products I used to clean the fucking house, I paid to pick up his dry cleaning, I did the laundry every few days, I made sure he had a lunch packed every morning… I did so fucking much for that man, I’m not giving him any more of my money.” 

“So let’s go back with that, we can have Penelope gather all the information from your bank statements and previous taxes and she can total up the amount of money you’ve spent on him and that house and we can argue that he should pay you for your time. He treated you as a maid, you should be paid for your services and if they equal out to 25 grand or higher, then he has to pay you the difference or shut up,” Hotch explains, knowing how to play these games as he was once a lawyer and he’s been divorced.

“Okay,” she agrees, “yeah, I think that would work.” 

Hotch leans over her, towards the TV is, and presses the button on the screen to call Penelope. It dials and calls quickly, and she answers just as fast. “Yes, my lovelies?” 

“Can you do me a favour and gather up all of Y/N’s financial records over the last few years and find out the total she spent on groceries, dry cleaning, house expenses and the money she’s transferred to Peter’s account?” 

“I can,” she says and then looks at Y/N through the screen. “You’re okay with this?”

“Oh yeah, total it all up and send all the findings to my lawyer as well, I’m taking Peter down,” she agrees with a smile spread over her face. “He’s going to wish he never met me.” 

Penelope hangs up after that, slipping into Y/N’s life and doing the lords work, basically. It would take her accountant months to do what Penelope can do in 30 minutes. And god bless her. 

She settles into her seat again with a sigh, everyone else goes back to what they were doing, except for Hotch. They share an armrest between them, he places his hand over hers and looks at her with a soft smile, almost like he’s saying with his eyes that he’s proud of her and that it’s okay. She just smiles back, turning her hand over and interlocking their fingers, “thank you,” she whispers. 

“Anytime.” 

—

Normally on away cases, they all had their own rooms, unless the hotels were overbooked, and this was one of those times. 

Derek is with Emily, Spencer is with JJ and that leaves Hotch with Y/N. She changes into her night clothes in the bathroom, her pyjamas consisting of a plain shirt and blue butterfly-covered pants, nothing too scandalous. When she comes out, she finds him sitting up in his bed, also changed, reading over a case file with his glasses on… she didn’t even know he wore glasses? 

She just stands there in the bathroom doorway and stares at him until he looks up at her, “You okay?” 

She nods, “when did you get glasses?” 

“A couple years ago,” he shrugs. “They’re readers, sometimes I have a hard time reading at night.”

“They look nice on you,” she compliments him, sending a soft smile his way before she puts her work clothes back in her suitcase. 

When she turns back to her bed, Aaron is putting the files on his night table and taking said glasses off. “Are you tired?” 

“Not really,” she admits. Turning the comforter down, she slips into bed and turns to him, “Are you?” 

He shakes his head softly, “I was going to call Jack and then I remembered it’s well past midnight over there, I did text Jess, however, and she said he had a good night.” 

“You’re such a good dad, I hope he tells you that all the time…” it just rolls off the tongue, she didn’t even have a chance to stop herself. But the smile on his face is worth the embarrassment she felt for telling him how she feels. 

“Thank you,” he’s so soft about it. “You’re going to be a great mom too, I know it.” 

She just presses her lips together and hums, shaking her head slightly she bites her lip so she can hold back the tears that want to start coming. “I don’t think it’s going to happen for—

“It will,” he cuts her off. “You’re doing the right thing by getting away from him, I promise you, it’s going to work out for you.” 

She wants to cry, normally she spends most of her alone time crying in her lonely bed, be it at the house Dereks letting her crash in or a hotel somewhere in the country, she always ends up crying her eyes out. Tonight she can’t do that. “I hope so.” 

“It will,” he’s serious about it. “Do you need a hug?” 

She just nods and he gets out of his bed in a hurry to make it over to hers, he slips under the covers and pulls her into a hug and she can’t help but cuddle into his chest. “It just gets loud in my head sometimes, like everything he’s said to me starts to echo around and I can’t help but believe it… like maybe I’m not ever meant to be someone's mom?” 

He just rubs her back and lets her get it all out. “Can I be honest?” She nods against his chest. “I didn’t trust him when I first met him. He seemed off and now I guess I know why. He was keeping secrets and he knew the better you got at your job, the closer you’d be to figuring out all the lies he was telling and he’d be alone again. Men like him tell lies because they know that they can’t keep wonderful women like you when you know the truth about them. And now that you know the truth, he’s making it your problem.” 

“I just can’t believe he was going to let me believe I was broken instead of just telling me he didn’t want kids. Do you know what that does to a person?” She asks as she sits back up and looks him right in the eyes. “I haven’t felt good enough in years… I’ve hated myself for so long, Aaron.” 

“I don’t think you’re broken, I think you’re miraculous and wonderful… exceptional, even,” he admits, staring deep into her eyes like he’s found her soul in there. “And I know what it’s like to try for a long time, Haley and I tried for years and I watched it slowly suck the life out of her, any man that can sit by and watch that and not care, is a sociopath.” 

“Did you and Haley want more kids… before everything happened?” She asks, eyes trailing down to his lips and then back to making eye contact with him, she can read the hurt on his face.

He nods, “I’d still love to have more kids.” 

Her eyes light right up, “really?” 

He nods again, “I would… I wasn’t going to ask you out until well after the divorce was final. I don’t want to get in the middle of everything or ruin the chances of you getting away from him without issue… but I’ve thought you were beautiful since the moment I first saw you.” 

“Aaron?” She really can’t believe it. “What are you saying?” 

“If you want to have a child, I’d gladly show you what it’s like to have a real man love you,” he rephrases it with a lot more confidence and passion in his voice. He knows what he wants and every part of him hopes she wants it too.

She can’t believe it. The words don’t seem real. Part of her thinks she fell asleep quickly and this is all a dream. There’s no way her boss— and the most handsome man she’s seen in her life, is saying this to her. “you want to sleep with me?” 

He laughs, “More than that… which is hard for me to admit because I’m your boss, I shouldn’t like you as much as I do. But I do. I would love to see where this goes… After the divorce.” 

“Aaron, am I dreaming? Are you serious?” She shakes her head and shuffles further away from him. “What the hell is happening?” 

“You’re awake, I promise,” Aaron assures her while also keeping his distance. “I’m sorry, if you don’t feel the same, I’ll back off—

“No, no, it’s not that, I just— I’ve just never been with anyone but Peter, he was my first real boyfriend, I never thought anyone else would ever want me?” She’s honest. “Are you serious?” 

“I’ve been with 3 women,” he admits, it’s not like his number is crazy, but it’s still not what she expected. 

“Really?” 

He nods, “Haley was my first, back in high school, then I slept with someone during my time doing security for U.S. diplomats— Haley and I were on and off again all the time before we got married... And then Beth, last year.” 

“You worked for Emily’s mom,” she knows that story… “did you and Emily—

“It was just a one-time thing. She was an adult and still living at home and also still rebellious as hell… she wanted to piss her mom off, but I didn’t know until after the fact,” Aaron is exceptionally honest. “We’ve always had a good friendship. That’s the one thing all 3 women have in common, actually. They were all my friends first.” 

She hums, following along with a nod, “You are my closest thing to a best friend, currently… I think you’re actually the best friend I’ve ever had in my whole entire life. I just don’t know if I’m ready yet.” 

“That’s okay, it’s more than okay, actually,” he rests his hand on her knee. “I was never going to say anything about how much I like you, I wasn’t going to ruin your marriage or convince you to cheat, I’d never do that—

“I know you wouldn’t, believe me, I know you’re a good man,” she places her hand on top of his and holds it tight. 

“Thank you… I just mean to say that I would wait forever for you.” 

“It won’t be that long, I can promise you that,” she smiles, moving back in closer to him. “Best friends can sleep in the same bed… and my marriage is already over, so it’s not cheating no matter what anyone would say if they saw us cuddling.” 

“Should I turn the light off?” He says with a smirk. 

She just nods, “yeah, get comfy, Hotchner, you’re not leaving my bed tonight.” 

—

Turns out, she’s spent close to a quarter of a million dollars on taking care of Peter and their home over the last 8 and a half years.

That’s not even including the time they were living in an apartment together, before and a few months after their wedding. She has her lawyer go back to his lawyer with this information and the fact she will Not be paying him for his half of the downpayment. He doesn’t like that. So, they come to an agreement to meet with a mediator. This way, she can voice her concerns, he can voice his and they can hopefully get the papers signed without going to court. 

Standing her ground and sitting in a chair opposite him was going to be the best way for her to win this. He is so much more confident on the phone, sending her threats and derogatory comments, he’s not that confident in front of her. Especially not when she has her boss in the chair beside her. 

“Why is he here?” Peter says the second he walks into the meeting room of her lawyer's office. He sits down aggressively and leans back in his chair, exuding an air of fake confidence that both she and Hotch don’t believe. 

“He’s my boss, he’s here to ensure my safety and my lawyer's safety,” she stands her ground. “I’m not about to get choked out again."

“You’re that afraid of me?” He laughs. 

Hotch flips open the folder in front of himself and holds up the photos of Y/N’s face the morning she came into work beat up. “You did this to her, what else are we supposed to think about you?” 

“There’s no proof my client did that,” his lawyer speaks up. The man can’t be more than 30, he must be a new lawyer with less experience than Andrea or Aaron. “She works a difficult job where she gets tossed around by criminals—

“We have the footage from the security camera inside your shared home,” Y/N’s lawyer cuts him off. 

“What?” Peter can’t believe it. “Since when is there one inside the house?” 

“We got them installed after the neighbours were robbed, or did you forget?” Y/N looks at him like he’s an idiot. “You signed off on it, you wanted to be able to see who was in our house if we got robbed like the neighbours did. There is one in the front hall, the living space, your office and our closet. You sent me photos of me and Aaron packing my things. You know it’s in there.” 

“My client—

“Is a liar,” Y/N’s lawyer cuts him off once again. “we have his signature and testimony from the security company saying he was the one who called and asked for internal cameras. They even kept the call logs and we’ve got a copy of the work order from the men who set them up.” 

Peter slumps in his seat. His tongue runs along his top teeth as he shakes his head, “what do you want?”

“I want out.” Y/N simplifies. “You wasted the last 10 years of my life, you lied to me and you abused me. I want you to sign the papers and let me go.” 

“So you can go fuck your boss?” 

Y/N stands with such force her role chair goes flying back, she slams her hands on the table and stares him down the way she would in an interrogation with an unsub, “What I do with my time isn’t any of your concern! This is a 1 party divorce state, if you give me a hard time I will not hesitate to take you to court and get a judge to sign off on this. I don’t need your help, I just thought this would be easier for you, but if you want the whole state of Virginia to know you’re a wife-beater, I can do that.” 

“And she’ll win,” Hotch offers, “I’ve been inside enough courtrooms to know that with this much evidence, you’re never going to see any money from her.” 

“Fine,” Peter gives in with a wave of his hands. “Where do I sign?” 

She sits back down then, biting back a smirk as she’s filled with pride. She really did it. She won. 

“So you’re agreeing to keep the house and she doesn’t have to pay you anything to get out of the mortgage?” Her lawyer clarifies. 

He nods, “Yes.” 

“Okay,” Andrea hands the paperwork over to Peter's lawyer. “This is the original agreement I sent you. It states what items still in the home belong to Y/N and if I remember correctly, you already agreed to her taking those with her at an arranged date and time with a mediator on the premises.” 

“That’s correct.” Peter's lawyer reads it over quickly, assuring it’s exactly what she says it is and then hands it over to Peter, “Sign there, there and on the last page, each spot is marked.” 

“Got it,” Peter says, not caring at all. He signs the 3 spots and slides the papers back across the table. “What now?” 

“What time is good for me to come get my things?” Y/N asks, trying not to smile with happiness. 

“Are you okay to do it tonight?” Peter asks, “I moved most of it into boxes and put them by the door… I’ve had a lot of time to organize. I think I’m going to sell it and move closer to where my parents are.” 

“That would be good for you,” she agrees. It’s weird to see all his aggressiveness fade now that she’s no longer his wife. “Aaron’s going to come with me, is that okay?” 

He nods, “I’m surprised you’re so comfortable bringing your boyfriend around me already.” 

And there it is. 

“You know, I’m not surprised this ended. You’ve always been so insecure about every single man in my life, even my brother and my cousins? Did you really think I’d just stay single my whole life after you? Did you really think you were such an amazing husband that I’d be so broken and damaged I’d never be able to move on? You weren’t anything spectacular and I think you’ve always known that.” 

“I’ll put your shit on the porch,” he says with a huff as he stands up to leave. “Have a nice life.” 

“We will,” Aaron answers, digging more salt into the wound as Y/N waves at him with a smile. 

Finally, she’s free.

—

It doesn’t take long for them to load all of her things into Aaron’s SUV and with Peter's lawyer in the house to supervise. She does one final sweep to make sure she has all her things. It looks good, so she gives Peter one final smile and a wave and then she’s gone. 

She watches the house fade to nothing in the passenger side mirror and her smile only grows. It doesn’t feel like an ending like she thought it would. All those dreams that seemed bigger than the whole sky are nothing but rain clouds that were once disguised as happy shapes… the rain that burst from them washed away all her sadness and left her with a blank space of sidewalk where she could once again be decorated with beautiful chalky colours. 

“So?” Aaron asks, looking between her and the road with a mighty smirk. “What’s next?” 

“I thought you were going to ask me out on a date?” She teases. 

“You’re ready already?” He’s a bit shocked, “I thought we were just pushing his buttons?” 

She shakes her head, “We were… but I’m also ready to be loved by a real man. The same man who’s always there for me, the man who would do anything to protect me. I want you too, Aaron.” 

“Well, okay then, Agent (your maiden name), where should we go for dinner tonight?” He asks, “Do you want to go somewhere fancy or should we order from our regular place?”

“Hmm… as tempting as that sounds, I think I’d like to get dressed up and go somewhere with you.” 

And so that’s what they do. While she’s changing into something nice, Aaron makes a call to a friend who would be able to get them a table at the nicest place in town with only an hour to spare. Luckily, he has good friends in all sorts of places, so before she can even really second guess the date, they’re sat in the back corner of a dark restaurant sharing a candle-lit dinner. 

“So… how is this going to work?” She finally asks, she can’t keep it in any longer. 

“What do you mean?” Aaron asks. 

“Like, are we going to file fraternization paperwork? Are we going to tell the team? Should I transfer to another unit?” 

“Oh… I think we could file the paperwork if you want to and you don’t have to leave, you’d just have to report to Morgan or Cruz, it wouldn’t be that hard.” 

“And are you going to tell Jack?” 

He nods, “Eventually.” 

“Does he even want to be a big brother?” 

Aarons a bit taken aback by that question, “I… I really don’t know?” 

“Cause I don’t want him to hate me, I’ve seen so many cases where kids grow up to hate their dad's girlfriends and new stepmoms and feel like they lost their dad when a new baby shows up,” she just lets all the worry out then and there, there’s no point keeping it from him. He’d figure it out eventually. 

“Well… the best thing we could do is go slowly, I can talk to him about it and see where he stands with it all. I know for a fact he really liked Beth and he was very little when Haley left me so I don’t think he holds any resentment for the divorce, I think it’ll be okay.” 

“Okay,” she repeats while letting out a deep breath. “Cause… I know you like me but I never got to tell you how I feel about you. I think you’re a wonderful man and you’re so astoundingly handsome it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and—” 

“Really?” He cuts her off with a smirk. 

“Yeah,” she manages to laugh, snapping out of the panic because it’s just so easy with him. “This is how I was supposed to feel with my husband… thank you for making me realize I deserve better and thank you for being what I deserve.” 

“I feel the same way… I mean, I loved Haley even after the divorce, hell, a part of me still does love her and I don’t think it will ever fade. However, it’s so nice to feel like this again,” Aaron agrees. “I’m just a little anxious that it’ll all come crumbling down around me again.” 

“Why?” She asks, not thinking she could ever leave him heartbroken. 

“Our job isn’t the safest environment. If you get hurt on the job I don’t know what I’ll do… my little crush on you was hard enough to deal with out there, and that was when you were married and I thought there was no chance of us being together because I’m not a home wrecker, but now… now I have to watch you go out there into the unknown every day with half of my heart in your pocket,” he explains, almost tearing up.

She shakes her head softly and reaches out for his hand, “Aaron, I’m always going to come home with you. Even if I get a little hurt, I know I’ll always fight to get back to you… and I have the same worries, I never want to lose you and physically see it happen or know I could’ve been there to stop it. It’s going to make the job harder, sure, but we could also just get better at what we do because we love each other.” 

She watches all the worry fade from his face as his jaw drops for a moment. “You love me, too?” 

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, Aaron, I love you.” 

Just as they lean in to kiss over the table, Aaron's phone starts to ring in his pocket. With a disgruntled sigh, Aaron sits back down in his chair and takes his phone out, answering it with his last name, she watches him go devoid of feelings. “Yes sir, we’ll be right there.” 

She sighs, “I’ll get the car, you get the check.”

They stand up at the same time and before she can get too far, he pulls her in close. Hand on her lower back, faces inches apart, “I’m going to show you just how much I love you when we get home, okay?” 

“Okay,” she smiles, leaning into their first kiss.

Still smiling as their lips touch, she could swear sparks fly around them as the restaurant fills with the screaming sound of a million colourful fireworks.

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @babybisexual @marsmunson86 @x-a-delama-x @kylakins88 @harrypotteranna23-blog @moonlightspencie

Bigger than the whole sky taglist:

@ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

JJ: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: It's up to you and your team to find a woman who has been missing for three days. The police already have the suspects in custody, but they're not talking. You trust your instincts to get the job done but you can't seem to feel like there is something... bad... waiting for you.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"A tragedy need not have blood and death; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy." – Jean Racine

Reports of a missing woman come through and local police caught who they think are in connection to it. Without substantial evidence, they can only hold the two guys for so long before they're forced to release them, and they have only twelve hours left. They need your help because they believe they have the two suspects in custody. If either of them was charged with anything, they won't be able to charge them again if evidence comes up.

Nineteen-year-old Kate Joyce, an honor student, was vacationing at the beach with friends when she disappeared nearly three days ago. Detective Bob Mathias is expecting your arrival just as soon as JJ and Hotch are done talking to Strauss in his office. You're not sure about what but you can feel everyone's silent panic.

"They've had suspects in custody the whole time, but nothing," Derek sighs.

"They can't even charge them with anything unless they find her body. What are the chances of that?" You look up and see JJ, Hotch, and Strauss still in Hotch's office. They've been in there all morning, and that's got half the team worried. "They're still in Hotch's office, huh?"

"It can't be good."

"JJ's still in there?" Penelope asks when she and Emily join the group.

Spencer reaches for the chocolate you got him yesterday and pops three candies in his mouth. When he gets nervous, he eats and he's as nervous as it gets not only for himself and the team, but for JJ.

"Again with the dairy?" Emily asks.

"I can't help it. I love dairy."

You run your fingers through Spencer's hair which is a lot shorter than it was when he first got it cut. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes briefly, and he looks up at you with a smile.

"It's been, what, twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, and we're in the air in ten. Do you think it's about the case?"

"I don't think so," Emily answers.

"Do you know something?"

"Do I know something?" she repeats Pen's question.

"She just repeated the question. You always say that's a sign."

"Do you know why JJ's in there?"

"I have no idea."

"Y/N, can't you figure out what they're saying?" Pen asks.

"I'm not God, Pen. I can't hear conversations through walls and windows."

"I know, but you can feel the vibe, right?"

"Yeah, you're right." You concentrate on what you can feel. Anger. Desperation. Frustration. "I don't think it's about the case. I think it's something more personal. There's a lot of anger in that room, mostly coming from Strauss."

JJ knows everyone is watching the closed office door in anticipation. She'd be worried, too, if someone else was in here.

"I have given it thought. I'm not interested."

"Clearly. You turned down the job twice without consulting your unit chief," Strauss says.

"Agent Jareau is under no obligation to discuss it with me."

"If the Pentagon calls one of your team members, you should know about it. Why didn't you tell Agent Hotchner that you turned down the position?" Strauss asks JJ.

"I never wanted it to get this far because—"

"--because you know it's a better job."

"Because I don't want to leave this one," she glares slightly.

"You've been here six years."

"Nearly seven, ma'am."

"Change is good, and from what I understand, there's less travel with this position. You could stay home with Henry."

"Excuse me?"

"I understand the sacrifices."

"I do what I love. It's made me a better person and a better mother. Any 'sacrifices' I have made have been for my family. I don't have a single regret."

JJ is someone you never want to piss off and Hotch can see she's getting angry at Strauss.

"We're all in agreement that Agent Jareau is a valuable part of this team, and it's understandable why the executive branch is requesting a transfer. However, if Agent Jareau respectfully declines their request, there's no way you can make her go."

"No, I can't." She turns her focus to Hotch. "Have you looked at the video of the missing girl?"

"Everyone is watching it now."

"You're expected in Maryland within the hour."

"We'll be there. Thank you." Strauss leaves the office angrily but knows how to hide it well. "JJ... Pentagon?"

"Sorry, I didn't tell you."

"It's okay. It's just a big deal. A liaison for the Department of Defense? It's a major promotion. Are you sure you don't want this?"

"Hotch, I belong here."

JJ leaves the office and notices everyone staring at her. Knowing that you're caught, everyone looks away and pretends to be busy. Rossi heads up the stairs to talk to Hotch, passing JJ by.

"You'd think profilers would cover better than that, wouldn't you?" Rossi chuckles.

"You read up on the suspects for the case?"

"It presents like the typical dominant/submissive, but I doubt it's that textbook."

"We've only got one shot at this."

Since takeoff is in five minutes, no one wastes time in getting to the plane. Hotch leaves his office and you all gather around him as you walk to the elevator.

"How long have they been in custody?" Derek asks.

"Sixty hours. We have twelve more to get a confession or find the body."

"Syd Pearson has a lot of money and connections. If we let him go, we may never see him again. James Barrett doesn't have the same resources."

"Do you think these guys did it?" Pen asks when everyone piles into the elevator.

"The locals do. They tried to get them to turn against one another, but that didn't work. It seems they have a bond that dates back to childhood."

"We only have a thirty-minute flight. That's not enough time to delve into their histories."

Penelope passes out papers to everyone.

"These are bullet points on the missing woman. The second and third pages are all about the suspects."

"Garcia, we're gonna need phone records, credit card receipts, and anything else you can find."

"Yes, you'll have them when you get back."

JJ joins the group and you're all off to the plane. Since you're running ten minutes behind, the pilot wastes no time in getting into the air. Spencer immediately goes to the bathroom, and you join JJ's side by the small kitchenette.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I know," she smiles.

"Does this have anything to do with Strauss?" She doesn't say anything which gives you your answer. "Look, I'm not going to force you to tell me but whatever it is, I know you'll make the right decision."

JJ pulls you into a hug before returning to her seat. You knock on the bathroom door lightly and put your ear to the door.

"Spencer, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

You go back to your seat and look at JJ who addresses the entire team.

"I got this offer from the Pentagon. I turned it down twice. I never told Hotch or Strauss. That's what the meeting was about."

"Strauss wants you to take it," you sigh. "Of course, she does. It'll make her look good if you get promoted."

"I don't trust her for a second."

"You shouldn't."

Spencer comes back from the bathroom and wipes his mouth. Normally, you wouldn't think much of it but you know he's been having headaches a lot recently.

"Are you okay?" you whisper.

"I threw up," he whispers back.

You put your hand on his thigh and your head on his shoulder in silent comfort as the conversation moves along to the case at hand.

"Okay, let's review," Hotch says.

"Kate Joyce, nineteen years old, was last seen leaving a bar with these two men, Sydney Pearson and James Barrett, both twenty. She was reported missing the next morning when she didn't meet her friends. That was almost three days ago. Their story is they dropped Kate at the motel, but there were no cameras to confirm that. Search and rescue have been all over the island and dragged the inlet but found absolutely nothing. Both said they had sex with Kate. They're claiming it was consensual."

"There's no way to confirm. There's no body."

"I doubt it was consensual."

"We've got to prove they're guilty of more than just being seen with her."

"Well, the police weren't able to find any holes in their stories. We're gonna have to break them down psychologically."

"I'm good at that," you grin.

"Morgan, I want you and Y/N to lead the interrogation. Dave, you, Reid, and Prentiss start at the bar. JJ, Kate Joyce's family is still at the station."

"Still? For three days?"

"They never went to the hotel. I want you to stay with them."

You and Derek make a good team and you think that between you two, you'll get the men to confess. Detective Bob Mathias greets the team eagerly when you arrive shortly after landing. Rossi, Spencer, and Emily separated from the group to go to the club while the rest headed to the police station. Kate's parents are in an empty office, heartbroken for their daughter.

"They haven't left. The mayor personally set them up with a penthouse suite at the Harrison Grand, but they won't go."

"They can't. You're their only source of information. To be even a minute away would add to their torture," JJ sighs.

"I've kept them away from the suspects. Now, I don't get why you want them together."

"Trust me."

JJ leaves to talk to the parents while Mathias takes the rest of you to the empty conference room. On the big screen is the only video surveillance of Kate, Syd, and James at the club.

"It hit the national news yesterday. A lot of pressure. The mayor would rather have a great white attack than a homicide."

"Sure. A shark attack makes the mayor a victim. A killer makes him responsible."

The video plays and Kate gets into the car that either belonged to Syd or James. Both boys embrace before James gets in the back and Syd gets behind the wheel.

"Once she got into that car, we have no idea what happened."

"The suspects' stories hold up. They've told them dozens of times without variation. There's got to be some truth in them."

"Syd Pearson is a handful. Jimmy Barrett is dumber than a box full of rocks. They've only been out of their holding cells to be interrogated or to use the John."

"You've got video?"

"Yeah, we've got cameras in both rooms."

"Good. We'll have to rely on nonverbal cues. That'll expose their weaknesses."

"I'm on it," you say.

Both suspects come out from a room on the other side of the police station, walking right past the office that Kate's parents are in. Her dad sees red when he notices them and storms out of the room.

"Hey! What did you do with Kate?!" he yells.

"Calm down, man!" Syd says.

Police officers jump between the two men and hold the father back from doing something he might regret. James looks down and tries to get out of there quickly but Syd is riled up at the attention.

"I will kill you, you understand? Do you understand me?!"

"Keep them away from me!"

"Barrett avoided conflict. Pearson was provocative."

"The blond one is getting off on this," Derek says.

"If he knows where Kate is, that's his power."

Mathias, Derek, and Hotch sit in the room between the two interrogation rooms while you approach Syd's room. These officers have been doing the same thing for two days straight. What they need is a change if you have any hopes of getting them to confess. You open the door to Syd's room and poke your head in. You made sure to keep your jacket off and show off your shirt that accentuates your breasts. He perks up when he sees you and smirks slightly.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Soda? Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"What do you want? Anything."

"Hmm. Tuggie's roast beef with fries. The Curly ones."

"You got it," you nod.

"And a beer."

"Nice try," you smirk and leave.

You join the three men and put your jacket back on, buttoning it back up and covering your breasts.

"What the hell was that?" Mathias asks.

"We're just trying to establish some trust."

"Uh-huh. Are you going to ask the other one, too?"

"No," you shake your head.

"In other words, you're not going in there?"

"Not yet."

"You know, we don't have a lot of time here," Mathias sighs impatiently.

"They've been slammed with the same questions for the last two and a half days. If we go in there with that strategy, we'll get nowhere."

"I don't get it."

"If we go in there, they have all the power."

"So, what, we wait?"

"For a while."

According to her parents, Kate is a sweetheart. She went to a good school, got good grades, and had great friends. Everything points to her being the golden child, so it doesn't make sense that she'd go off with Syd and James. There aren't many videos or images of the trio during that night but all of Kate's friends said they were bar hopping. They were constantly on the move. The suspects didn't move, they waited for her.

A sea of opportunity. Why was she drawn to these guys? She could have known them but all of her friends say that wasn't likely. She was only here for a week before meeting Syd and James. If she trusted them enough to go with them, then that means she met them before Friday. She'd be too cautious to go off with total strangers.

Hotch's phone rings and he answers Penelope's call.

"Garcia, what do you have?"

"Oodles of records. Cell phones, credit cards, and some juicy juvie. Sending details now. It is safe to say these two have always been in trouble."

"When did it start?"

"The summer of 2000."

"They were only ten. What did they do?"

"See for yourself."

You get a notification and open the email from Penelope. There is a long list of shit they've done, and you shake your head apprehensively.

"Naughty boys. Shoplifting, vandalism, and burning a house down albeit an abandoned building. Fireworks. Assault charges were dropped last summer."

"It looks like they bring the worst out in each other."

"Are you two ready?"

"I want James."

"Why?" Hotch asks.

"I know he kidnapped her. She's not dead, I would have felt it all over them. Her energy is all over Syd but that energy is more lustful than dead. They had sex. The energy on James is fearful. He's the unsub and I don't think Syd knows. I'll prove it to you."

"Okay, I trust you," Hotch nods.

You want to know how it goes with Syd so you watch Derek's interrogation with him before going over to James' room.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[oinkinpigprince]

◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ﾉ could you do female or non binary dating head canons of gwimbly thank you in advance (love your blog ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ)

I want your little guys,,,,,,,, your lil mojis……. Give them to me 🖐️(👁️_👁️)👊*bangs on glass*

Also it’s gonna be gender neutral terms w/ more feminine descriptions, if that makes sense ;33c

Gwimbly x fem reader dating headcanons

Gwimbly calls you shit like toots, sugar tits, baby doll/girl, they’re such sleazy nicknames but they also work VERY well for him

He tried doing the whole “chivalry” thing for like a month when you first started dating, calling you cute things and being a gentleman. It ended quick when he found it very very amusing to Dutch oven you

General menace to society, likes to wake you up in the middle of the night saying some fuck ass shit like “THEY HIT THE FUCKING PENTAGON/Ref” or “how much computer duster can someone huff before he needs to go to the hospital.”

Sometimes he just cusses at you to get your attention, it’ll be a string of “HE-HEY BITCH, FUCK BITCH, PUSSY” and you’ll be like “yeassss”. It’s never degrading, he’s just kinda like that

Argues with you a lot, if you can’t keep a level head it’s almost impossible to be w/ him. He’s extremely sensitive so anything can rlly set him off. You’ll have to constantly remind him that you still love him despite,,, everything

He can have pretty violent mood swings, so you’ll need to be calm and collected when navigating through these tough situations. It’s a mix of drug withdrawal and just general stress

You threatening to leave him though was a huge wake up call, he goes to anger management and tries to better himself. He’s still moody but he isn’t as much of a cunt as he was.

Very confrontational, if someone makes you uncomfortable for any reason he’s quick to call them out. Even unintentional people, they’ll still feel his anger.

Sometimes it’s a little embarrassing when someone just accidentally steps on your shoe and he just goes gun wild

He HATES seeing you sad. Usually for other ppl he doesn’t care, but seeing you sad makes him feel genuinely sick. He’ll try everything to make you happy again

[layce2015]

John Wick Chapter 4 (John Wick x Female!Reader)

With the price on his head ever increasing, legendary hit man John Wick and his wife, (y/n), take their fight against the High Table global as they seek out the most powerful players in the underworld, from New York to Paris to Japan to Berlin.

Chapter 1: Death Is The Only Freedom

JW 1 Masterlist

JW 2 Masterlist

JW 3 Masterlist

JW 4 Masterlist

"I am the way into the city of woe. I am the way into eternal pain." The Bowery King recites as he walks along the alley and down a subway tunnel to a underground hideout. "I am the way to go among the lost! Before me there were no created things! But those that last forever! As do I! Abandon all hope, you who are about to. You are now in the presence of the fucking king!" He yells as he enters the hideout and laughs.

Meanwhile, as he was going on his speech, John Wick and his wife, (y/n), were practicing on their punches. John was punching a tall board with a bloody rope around it, from all his punches he threw at it, and (y/n) was using a punching bag. As she punched it, she was letting out every aggression, every anger, every frustration out on the bag. The death of her sister, being kidnapped, getting shot at, getting beat up, losing their home.

It was only six months ago when you and John were just a happy married couple, excited for what the future held. But the way everything went, it feels like a lifetime ago; how the hell would (y/n) ever go back to being normal after knowing all of this and everything that has happened, assuming that her and John will get out of this alive. 

The Bowery King comes up to a barrel and lights it on fire, which then spreads to form a pentagon shape around the floor John and (y/n) were on as they kept punching their respective items. "You and your wife ready, John?" The Bowery King asked as he holds up a couple of suits hanging on a coat rack with one hand. 

John and (y/n) stop what they were doing and both of then turn to face him. "Yeah." John replied while his wife just nodded and the Bowery King chuckles.

At the desert, as the sun was rising, four horseback riders were charging across the sandy area, three turban clad men were on three white horses while one black horse carried John and (y/n). Both of them had guns. They fired a few shots at the men and eventually John killed one as he fell off of his horse.

Off in the distance, the Elder could see and he knew it was only a matter of moments before John Wick would make his way to him. 

As the chase continues, (y/n) was able to kill the second man and John got the last man before they stopped. They dismount their horse as they come up to The Elder, who had a small camp set up. "Mr and Mrs Wick." The Elder greets at the couple as they walk up to him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" The Elder asked, calmly. Then John and (y/n) kneel down on one knee as John speaks. "My freedom." He said and the Elder looks him and (y/n) over. "If you came here thinking you could be free, or end this, by killing me, then you are mistaken." The Elder said and (y/n) frowns while John turns his head away in disappointment.

"My death will not change the outcome any more than you can change your nature. None of us can escape who we are, and no one escapes the Table. And the only way John Wick will ever have freedom or peace, now or ever, is in death." The Elder said and John looks back at him. "I know." He said and the Elder shakes his head then stands up.

"I'm afraid you and your wife have come a very long way for nothing." The Elder said. "Yeah..." John said and he and (y/n) stands up. "...not really." He said then he gives a nod towards (y/n) and she raises her gun and fires it, killing The Elder point blank. The couple glare at the man's body as it flops back then she holsters her gun. They turn and start to head back on the horse and figure out their next move.

Meanwhile, back in New York at the Continental, Winston was informed by the Harbinger that the Continental was condemned by the Marquis, which was signed by the twelve members of the Table. The Harbinger then informed Winston that the Marquis was waiting for him and that the hotel must be evacuated in one hour, so Winston and Charon made their way to the Marquis office.

"Ned Kelly's final words as the hangman slipped the noose around his neck were Such is life. Such is life, can you imagine the acceptance, the defiance?" Winston asked Charon as they walked the hallway to the front desk of the Marquis' office. "Today is not the day you will die. Of that, I am sure." Charon said as they stop at the front desk and Winston turns to his old friend.

"You have the unshakable faith of David, my friend, but you shouldn't be here. This will not be pleasant." Winston said. "Such is life, sir." Charon said and Winston gives him an impressed look right as a man comes up to them and leads them into the large office of the Marquis. 

"My father used to say, How you do anything is how you do everything. Called it the first and the last rule of life." The Marquis said as he has his back to Winston and looks out at the city of New York through his large window.

"You believe in rules...Mr Manager?" The Marquis asked as he turns to Winston. "Oh, I do." Winston said, firmly. "And what of consequences?" The Marquis asked. "Of course. And second chances." Winston replied. "Ah. That's where we differ, you and I." The Marquis said as he gestures between him and Winston, who kept looking over at the hour glass on the Marquis' desk as the sand on the top kept getting smaller and smaller.

"Second chances at the refuge of men who fail." The Marquis said and he goes over to his desk and started to put sugar in his tea, then once he was done with that, puts the spoon in his mouth to wipe off any remnants of sugar and tea. He pulls the spoon out of his mouth while Winston fidgets a bit in place, he didn't want to show it but he was getting nervous and it was getting worse the longer this went on.

"There are those on the Table who blame this, um, atrocity on New York. They believe it's this city. The Table has indulged this fucking place for too long. And look where that has gotten us." The Marquis said then he takes a sip of his tea. "I shot him." Winston said and the Marquis chuckles as he sets his cup of tea down. "And yet he lives, polluting everything he touches. Especially, with the help of his wife, who you did not take care of." The Marquis said as he gets a stern look on his face and starts to walk around his desk.

"Marquis, respectfully, my hotel..." Winston started to argue. "Your hotel?" The Marquis said, stunned, and Winston closes his mouth. "If I might, sir?" Charon asked and the Marquis looks at him, surprised. "By all means." He said and Charon takes a step forward. "The Continentals and their management are a reminder to all who still behind The Table, that none of us are above the rules." Charon said.

"And yet we are here." Marquis said. "Sir, Mr Wick..." Charon said but the Marquis starts to grow angry. "We're not here because of John Wick and his wife. He is simply the face of your failure, Mr Manager." Marquis said as he glares over at Winston then he walks over to his desk.

"The sand in that glass is merely an echo of my remaining patience." Marquis said, as he gestures to the hourglass, and Winston looks over at it just in time to see the sand spills out the remaining grain until it was gone. 

Once that happened, they felt the ground shake and a loud booming noise. The Continental had been destroyed. Winston and Charon watch on in horror as Marquis turns to them. "You are no longer New York." He said and Winston balls up his fist. "You are nothing. You are Excommunicado." Marquis said, with a hard glare at Winston, as he walks up to him. 

"And as such..." he said as he pulls out his gun and aims it at Winston. "...you no longer need the services of a concierge." He said then he aims the gun at Charon and shoots him in the chest.

Charon's eyes grow wide as he falls back and the Marquis holsters his gun. Winston stared at Charon in shock as the Marquis walks up to Winston, stops and glares at him for a moment then walks a few steps before stopping and looks over his shoulder. Winston goes over to Charon, kneels down next to him and takes his hand in his as blood was seeping out on the floor.

"It has been an honor, my friend." Charon said as he dies. "It should have been me." Winston said, shakily. "Yes. But it wasn't." Marquis said and Winston looks up at him. "Now, you think about why that is,and perhaps one of us will have benefited from this conversation." Marquis said and he and his right hand man walk out of the office.

"Bring me Caine." The Marquis tells his right hand man in French before they split off.

In Japan, after talking to his daughter about his schedule, how the other Continentals are feeling about what happened in New York and the fear that the High Table will come after him next, Shimazu walks through the kitchen of his hotel and comes up to two large guards. "Don't let anyone in." He tells them and they let him through to an outside area where two figures were standing off in the distance.

"I assume you are finally at peace." He asked John Wick. John looks over at his wife, who was looking down at the ground with her arms folded, before he looks over at Shimazu. "Apparently not." He said as (y/n) also turns to face him. "Killing the Elder was a mistake, my friend." Shimazu said and he gestures over to a table that had some food.

"Their response was the destruction of the New York Continental. My daughter fears we are next." Shimazu said as he walks over to the table and (y/n) gasps at this news. "Winston?" John questioned, concerned, as he and (y/n) walk over to the table. "Alive, but they executed his concierge to prove a point." Shimazu said.

"No..." (y/n) whispered, in soft despair, while John looks down in guilt. They sit down as Shimazu pours them a cup of tea. "Have you given any thought to where this ends?" Shimazu asked John, who doesn't reply, and (y/n) looks over at her husband, with worry.

"The Table will never stop. You know this. It only takes life and only gives death." Shimazu said as he pushes two cups of tea to the couple and sits down across from them. "Koji...For troubling you like this....I'm sorry." John said as he looks up at his friend. "Friendship means little when it's convenient." Shimazu said and the three raise their glass and they sip their tea, not knowing that trouble was coming to their door.

[playbucky]

Red Death // 2.

You had been enjoying being a teacher, the new recruits were fine, your relationship with Jake has grown stronger but the white envelope that shows up may just flip everything upside down. Characters – Reader x Jake, Pheonix, Rooster, Payback and Bob. Word Count – 2k. Series – Part one.

Ten months. That’s how long you got teaching, ten months. Ten months with your friends, with Jake. Now the white envelope with your name printed in black writing balanced in your hand. Exhaling slowly you ran your finger along the seal, separating it before you slipped the sheets out. Pentagon. They wanted your back at the pentagon. Closing your eyes and tilting your head back.

‘What’s up?’ Phoenix asked, you lifted your head and she stopped in her spot. ‘Job or Jake?’ She asked, you shook your head at how well quick she had  ‘Job.’ ‘When?’ She quizzed, sliding into the seat across from you. ‘Unsure, the Pentagon called me in.’ You said, holding up the white envelope, one you had picked out your letterbox before you left for work. ‘When do you leave?’ She questioned, she was the same as you, no need to open the letter when it’s been the same since the beginning. ‘Monday. No return date.’ You answered her next question.  ‘I thought you pulled out?’ Nat said, you scoffed as you raised both your eyes. ‘I reduced my missions, agreed to train and work high value missions.’ You explained, she nodded slowly.  ‘Have you told Hangman?’ She asked, you ran your hands over your faces before you shook your head. ‘No, he had was out with the boys last night and I’ve been at work.’ You told her, she frowned as she nodded.

‘What’s a pretty little thing like you doing here?’ A voice asked, it sent a shiver down your spine as you turned, coming face to face with a naval officer. ‘Having a drink.’ You commented, you kept a straight face but felt disgusting when he invaded your personal space, the stench of sweat and beer always turned your stomach. ‘Let me buy one for you then?’ He suggested, you turned to him. ‘I have my own money.’ You told him, he tilted his head and set his beer, that would be warm by now on the sticky counter.  ‘That should be spent to treat yourself, not in bar.’ He said, you arched an eyebrow.  ‘Major.’ An unfamiliar voice called, you lifted your head and made eye contact with a black hair woman. Her hair was slicked back into a low bun as held eye contact with you, tilting her head to the side as you glanced at her badge, which she displayed with pride. ‘Lieutenant.’ You replied, arching your eyebrow as the men at your side automatically took a step away from you, you could imagine their faces paling, the smell faded. ‘The mission report is ready for you to read and sign off.’ She said, you nodded. Turning back to the man that had offered to buy you a drink, he stood to attention, along with two of his other friends. A few other officers were watching it happen. You downed the last of your ice water. ‘At ease soldiers.’ You told them, the three of them relaxed. ‘Major?’ He asked, you shook your head. ‘Don’t worry about it, your off duty.’ You told him, he refused to make eye contact as he nodded. You sent them one last nod as they walked away, following the woman as she led you out the bar. Once the pair of your were out of the muggy bar you took in a deep breath. ‘Thank you.’ You said, looking at the woman who nodded. ‘Don’t worry about it.’ She said, you gave her a polite smile. ‘Major Y/N Y/L/N.’ You introduced yourself, sticking your hand out. ‘Lieutenant Trace, Natasha Trace.’ She replied, accepting your hand, quickly shaking before letting go. ‘You’re Phoenix, correct?’ You asked, her eyes widened. ‘You know of me?’ Phoenix asked. ‘Not many female pilots come through, I like to keep track.’ You said, she smiled and nodded. ‘How’s Maverick?’ You quizzed, you hadn’t saw or heard anything of him lately. ‘You know him?’ She asked shocked, you nodded. ‘Of course. The next time you see him, ask him about the bet he made with me.’ You told her, ‘You’ll see his face pale.’ You commented, she chuckled and nodded. ‘It was nice to meet you Nat, I hope we cross paths again.’ You told her, hoping you would. ‘You aren’t staying for training?’ She asked, you shook your head. ‘No, I’m off on a mission.’ You said, her brows furrowed. ‘No one else is – you’re Red Death.’ She said, you gave her a small smile as you nodded. ‘That’s me.’ ‘Wow.’ She breathed out, her eyes widened as she looked at you in awe. ‘You know what?’ You asked rhetorically as you searched for your card, ‘Keep me up to date on where you are, and if our paths cross we can meet up for a drink.’ You told her, holding the card out as she accepted it. ‘I feel like we’ll need each other at some point.’ You stated, she nodded and slid the card into her pocket. ‘Of course, Major.’ She agreed with you, you shook your head. ’Another thing? Don’t call me major, Red Death or Y/N will do just fine.’ You said, her smile widened and she nodded. ‘See you on the flip side Phoenix.’ You told her, holding an clenched fist up but extended your pinky and thumb as she used two fingers to salute you.

‘Jake?’ You called, the lights had been switched on which informed you he was there. You kicked your shoes off and walked through the living room, the tv had been paused on, you could smell the dinner he was working on. You could feel the muscles across your back before you entered into the kitchen. ‘In the kitchen.’ He called back, you exhaled and toed off your shoes before you made your way in. ‘I didn’t know when you-,‘ He turned and stopped, he opened his mouth to add something but stopped when he noticed the envelope. His shoulders slumped. ‘You’ve been called back?’ He said, you pursed your lips as you nodded. ‘I don’t know, but I’ve been called to the pentagon.’ You told him, placing the envelope on the table for him to open it, if he wanted to. ‘You’re going?’ He asked, you nodded.  ‘I need to,’ you made eye contact with your favourite blue eyes, ‘I’m still in my contracted years.’ You reminded him. ‘Do you know anything else?’ Jake quizzed, you hummed. ‘I leave on Monday.’ You added, he pursed his lips and nodded before he turned back to the food. ‘Dinners ready.’ He said, you noticed his shoulders had tensed. ‘Jake?’ You asked, you both stood in silence. ‘Are you hungry?’ He asked, refusing to look over his shoulder. You ducked your head before you walked around the counter, stretching a hand out. You placed it in Jakes back. His head dipped lower and you felt the dread fill your stomach that you had always wanted to avoid. ‘Don’t switch off.’ You said, you moved your hand across his shoulders. ‘I’m not.’ He mumbled, you watched him continue to stir the food. ‘Jake.’ You warned him gently, he shook his head. ‘I’m not,’ he repeated, ‘I’m just trying to understand why it always happens when something good comes about.’ He added, his hand landed on your back as you kept each other close. ‘Do you know when you’ll be back?’ He quizzed, you leaned your head against his chest, your hands came up and rested on his ribs. ‘No.’ You sighed, his grip tightened on your top. ‘It’s another suicide mission, isn’t it?’ He dipped his head so his lips were resting on top of your head. ‘That’s why they hired me.’ You replied, your felt your hair move as he sighed. ‘Suppose we’ll have to have a fun weekend.’ He said, you leaned back and nodded, you tapped his ribs. ‘That we can start with dinner, it smells lovely.’ You told him, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head before he pulled back.

‘So, what’s this all about?’ Payback asked, the drinks were sat in front of everyone, but no one had touched them, condensation gathered on the outside. ‘I’ve been called back.’ You said, they all stopped and looked at you. ‘When?’ Rooster asked, you rolled your tongue between your lips. ‘Tomorrow.’ You said, they shook their heads. ‘Y/N.’ Rooster started, you lifted your hand and stopped him. ‘Please don’t, I know.’ You cut of their worries, two fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose. ‘I want to have a night with my friends before I go off, can I have that?’ You asked them, they all nodded and fell into a silence. ‘Thank you.’ You said, you reached forward and picked up your glass of water. ‘Bob went on a date yesterday.’ Phoenix said, everyone’s eyes and attention landed on Bob as he was bombarded with questions, you sent a grateful smile to her.

‘Something is on your mind.’ You commented, he shook his head but you were quick to step in front of him. ‘Jake.’ ‘Promise me you’ll be safe.’ He said, you lifted the heavy bag onto your shoulder before it was quickly removed by Jake as he slung it over his own shoulder. ‘Nothing will go wrong.’ You replied, you and Jake both knew you hated making promises, so you couldn’t possibly break them. ‘Baby, please promise.’ Jake said, on the verge of begging you, you closed your eyes and inhaled before looked at him. ‘I promise.’ You said, he sighed and nodded, ‘I’ll phone you when I land, but I don’t know how often I’ll be able to keep you up to date.’ You explained, he nodded as he kept your hands tightly in his. ‘Jake?’ You asked, he looked at you, allowing you to see the tears that balanced on the edge of his eyes. ‘Yeah buttercup?’ He answered, you both stared at each other for a couple of seconds. ‘Do you want me to put you as my emergency contact?’ You asked him. ‘Oh, so this is serious?’ He said, you spotted the glint in his eyes.  ‘I feel like my side piece should be on there.’ You commented back, the corner of his lips jumped up. ‘Side piece?’ He asked, bringing his free hand up to his chest.  ‘Jake.’ You said, all joking had left your voice. ‘What about Phoenix?’ He asked, you held eye contact with him. ‘She’ll be my emergency contact but if they can’t get her it’d be good for someone else.’ You told him. ‘If you want.’ He mumbled, your brows furrowed before you reached up and placed your hand under his chin, he looked at you. ‘Not if I want. Do you want it?’ You asked, his gaze flicked away before he looked back and nodded. ‘Please.’ ‘Okay, I’ll inform them when I get up in the air.’ You said, he nodded and bent down. He rested his forehead against yours, both of you sighed before the loud noise of the cargo plane started broke the peace and quiet. He slowly let your bag drop to the ground, he closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I’ll see you on the flip side.’ You whispered. ‘On the flip side buttercup.’ He replied, his hands coming up to cup your neck as he bent down and placed his warm lips against yours. His thumbs moved along your jaw, you tilted your head back before Jake pulled away.  ‘If I go any further, I won’t want you to leave.’ He admitted quietly, you smiled and pressed a quick peck to his before you pulled back. You picked the bag up off the tarmac and sent him another smile. ‘I’ll miss you.’ You told him, you didn’t give him a chance to say anything before you turned and walked away. ‘You didn’t ask her.’ Phoenix stated, Jake kept his eyes on you as he shook his head. ‘No, I couldn’t ask her.’ He told her, his green eyes stung as he fought back tears. ‘She’ll be back before you know it.’ She placed a hand on his back and rubbed it, giving him some comfort as you disappeared into the back of the plane.

TAGS - @rosiahills22 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild

[syatbs]

MORE NAMGYU SMUT PLEASE

Killer of the Heart

summary: Where Nam-gyu has a sick obsession with you and doesn't want to let you go, at least not until he achieves what he wants… Or not?

જ⁀➴genre/au: Nam-gyu x reader [she/her, female anatomy}, smut, 18+, explicit content, mention of murder, stalking, obsession, mention of drugs.

જ⁀➴ Word Count: 2.923k

Find me on Ao3 for more frequent updates.

[Recommended Song: High Enough by K.Flay]

Obsession.

A term where I had never imagined myself crossing paths before. A disease that inflames my insides and ascends from my sternum up to my mind, where the wisdom lies within.

Such a disease that decays the brain and leaves the human flesh guided by nothingness. However, that is not quite my case. In fact, it is far from that. I’m being beckoned by feelings. Feelings that revolve around you and only you.

“Can you slow down?”

The hackles at the back of my neck rose at the sweet sound of your voice, a thrill blazing down my spine as from my periphery I could see you clutching the cushion of the passenger seat — a pathetic attempt to prevent yourself from the damage in case I swivel the wheel and crash into one of the thick trees’ trunk.

You are scared, I can tell with eyes closed. The flash of your cheeks, your gaze flicking every so often at me and trapping the bottom lip between your front teeth, gives the spot sans using any effort to call you out. Though, your mettle and the faith you have in me, elicit a smirk to curve at the corners of my mouth.

Despite knowing what a man I tend to be, you still chose me as your driver to return you home safe and sound. Call it stupid, but to my belief, it seems the wisest choice you ever made.

I’m high as fuck and a stinging pain throbs at the upper side of my face every time my eyelids flatter shut for a blink. The drugs I previously consumed vibrate in my bones, my system, and of course, my cock that twitches in my pants, begging for relief. I am going to lay my cards on the table and profess that the third sensation is due to your presence. Just having you here, right beside me where your warmth radiates and floods in me, has me mentally groaning at the fantasy of fucking you raw until you’re a breaking mess. To scream my name and your nails to scratch my skin until blood oozes out… To squirm around me and fight to escape me.

“I’m sorry love, but I’m afraid that I can’t.”

You scoff at the lack of verity in my tone. “Why?”

“Because you are a fucking cunt who doesn’t stop spreading open her legs for every dick she finds in her wake.”

Obviously, I don’t tell you that aloud, yet the spur to sing it out has me in a painful chokehold. Because of you, the lifeless body of a guy you allowed to slip his fingers beneath your panties and inside you, a few weeks ago, is now at the back of my car with ten lost fingers and a throat slit open. In a few words, I have a corpse in my vehicle and I have no interest in encountering any of the police who lurk in such late hours.

Again, I don’t say that aloud either.

In lieu, I press a few buttons, and music fills the suffocating atmosphere. It drowns for a short period my sick fantasies and a sigh falls past my lips.

Before you called me to pick you over from a party that one of your girlfriends hosted, I was out there hidden in the bushes as I stalked you from the windows of her apartment. I took plenty of your pictures and jerked off when you danced or did karaoke. I was so addicted to your sight that when I saw you almost getting hooked up with a stranger, it militated me from stalking you, to await the right moment to savage him.

It won’t be a difficult challenge.

Like the dead guy, he will soon follow the same tragic fate. Either I will feign that I’m a fellow student in his university and pose that I want to become his friend until I gain his trust so I can deliver the blade readily on his throat or go the easiest way and invade his apartment to catch him off guard.

I have connections at the Pentagon club where I work and in case things go south, they will have my back to erase any trail I leave behind. Every proof and evidence that gives away that it was me who committed the murder.

Notwithstanding that, I have the impression that you sensed my lingering thoughts back at the party. You didn’t fuck him and satisfaction licked my limbs like ravenous flames. Yet, that didn’t suppress the longing to torture him for the audacity to touch you, let alone speak to you.

You are mine.

The canopy of trees hedged us in at all sides of the empty road and far afield where the prying eyes could see what I was about to do. Perhaps you noticed that I missed a turn and now I was driving at the pits of the dark forest.

The night was still young and will be too bad if I stop directly outside the building you live. Let alone, wait for the precise moment when you will call me once again to help you out since no one is there for you. I grew bored playing the role of your best friend and it is finally time to make a statement… A message that signifies that I own you and nobody else.

“That is not the right way. You clearly missed a turn.” You said through gritted teeth. You tried to steel your spine to show me that you are undaunted but failed miserably.

We will work on that. Soon enough, come to that, because after I’m finished with you, there is no exit for you to skitter off. And if you dare to test it out and escape from my claws, I will chain you up on my bed or break your ankles so you cannot outrun me… Ever.

“Did I?” I mused, playing with your waters.

“You ask the obvious asshole. Don’t fucking mess around, I’m tired.”

“My sincere apologies, love.”

And I pressed the speed pedal harder.

As your back sank abruptly at the seat, you whipped your head to throw me one of your lethal pointed looks. You were seething, baby, and all my bloodstream gathered on my already swollen cock.

My voice dropped an octave. “Do me a favor first. And I promise after that, within ten minutes, you will be home.”

“Hardly to believe that.”

“Where is the trust, I’m your friend.”

Arguably it was the drugs that compelled me to act cocky because the way you pinched your freckled nose had me hot all over and not the terror of the possibility of losing you by my deviant demeanor. Your reaction made me goad you on.

Finally, you huffed and rolled your exposed shoulders back, to slacken off the stiffens that gathered on your muscles. “Fine. What is it?”

Darting my tongue to lick my lips, I tossed you a dark yet lustful glance. “Play with yourself.”

At that, you burst out laughing, your enchanting girlish sound a specter on my eardrums. However, when you saw me more earnest than ever, you sobered up, and a pink hue flashed on your cheeks. “Shit. You are actually serious.”

Unzipping my trousers, I fisted my erected dick. “Was I ever a liar, love?”

You cocked a brow at my falsehood, though it dissipated when your eyes dropped to my erection — something different licking your bright orbs. You watched me as I wiped with my thumb the precum that was leaking from the veiny tip, before giving a light pump with my fist.

My other free hand grasped tight the steering wheel and giving a jerk of my chin to your direction, I drawled. “Fuck your cunt, before I pull over and do it myself.”

I’m deeply aware of what personality I have created to become your trustworthy companion. Lying about being in a relationship, feigning that I’m gentle and caring was enough to waltz in your personal bubble and make you spit out your secrets in exchange for my comfort. Conversely, my eyes first spotted you at the club where I work and since then my obsession for you has only grown.

First, I followed you home. Then I broke into your apartment when you were at the university and set hidden cameras at every corner. Two weeks later, I spiked your water bottles that were stored on your fridge and fuck-fisted my manhood while lying beside your drugged form. Sometimes I undressed you and came undone at your bare pussy and before I wished you a goodnight, I slipped my fingers that were coated with my cum inside your tight walls.

I’m not proud of what I did, yet it was the only thing I could draw myself close to you.

Nevertheless, my whole point is that you never encountered me so blunt and crazy about you. To speak to you in a rigorous manner that forces you to press tight your thighs, desperate for some friction.

Reluctantly, you push apart your long skinny legs, forgetting immediately at what speed the vehicle runs. Your mini skirt rises at the stretch and dipping your hand, I see the sight of your drenched panties.

“Bloody hell… Already wet for me.”

Maybe it was the alcohol you imbibed at the party or the exhaustion that dances on your features because the furry that a moment ago festered you like a hurricane, now ebbed.

A moan of yours blooms inside the car and at that moment I regret having you in a small space and not somewhere where I could admire you and not the fucking road. To gather with my tongue the moisture in your folds and swallow. To be drown on you and only you.

Sensing your heating gaze down on my dick, your hand disappeared to your panties before pushing a finger into your tight pleading hole. Curling it inside you, you whine and I nearly lose control of the steering.

It was utterly different, hearing and watching you from up close and not behind the computer that is connected to the cameras.

“Nam-gyu…”

“You’re doing so well baby, fuck.”

My fist tightens its hold around my cock as I pick up pace. It throbs painfully and your hidden pussy makes it worse.

My tongue clicks at the roof of my mouth. “Take them off.”

There is a slight pause in your actions but quickly fades as your hips rise and do as I commanded. The thin layer slides down to your luscious curves and on your ankles before getting an angle that allows me to see your beautiful cunt.

The regret churns harder in the pit of my stomach.  

You add a second digit, thrusting now both of them on your opening while your gaze remains either on my profile or at my hard erection. You observe as I fuck my fist with the sounds you let out and my eyes narrow at the envisions that loom before me. The kind of envisions where I’m shoving my dick past your lips until it hits the back of your throat. To degrade you until tears well up on your trembling orbs and your pussy to pulsate in need.

 Your neck cranes as your back arches from the jolts of delight that jump on your nerves, and my frustration only festers.

I can’t refrain anymore.

Putting on the brakes, the wheels screeched at a sudden halt.

“Where are you going?”

Taking out the keys, the roaring engine switched off. Only the bright headlights remained on, to enlighten our surroundings, and kicking open the door, I rounded the vehicle. I stopped in front of yours and a flick of wariness gleamed on your tired eyes.

Without being willing to give you a reply, my hand hovered over the door handle, and slipping my other one under your bicep, I dragged you out.

I liked the way you writhed on my iron grip, but unfortunately, I had no passion to tease you. Pinning your torso on the hood, and your back to collide with my hard chest, my hips thrusted in the curve of your ass and growled.

When you tried to kick me, my fingers dug at the soft skin of your hips as I pushed one knee between your legs to mitigate the chances of kicking me on the shin or any other body part that I’m damn sure will hurt as hell.

“Quite feral, aren’t you kitty?”

You gasp offendedly at my comment and squirm once again. “Stop messing around, Nam-gyu. You play dirty!”

There was no disturbance or fear in you by the fact my bare cock is twitching in your rear. I’m your best friend, hypothetically, and you don’t even confront me for treating you so nastily. Baby, I start to think that you actually want this and what you display in front of me is only one of your woeful fake attempts to stop me. What you are doing, is simply an act.

“Dirty is my second name, if you haven’t guessed. And I played dirty games since the night I first met you.” Kissing the back of your ear, you sighed. “Tell me, did you ever feel like someone was watching you?”

It was too late to seal my lips as I had already fallen into the burning depths of hell.

You stiffened underneath me, yet before you demanded a better explanation, with a lift of your skirt I thrusted all my length to your heat. My eyes rolled at the back of my head as you screamed at the sudden stretch.

You were so fucking tight and tensing over my words doesn’t help the euphoric experience at all.

Finding your clit, I growled. “Focus on my finger. Feel what it is doing to you.”

“Stop…” You cried. Pulling out, I drove another thrust of my hips making you obtrude at the hard push. “Ah!”

Once your tight walls coated us both with your wetness, I picked up the pace, slapping my hips harder against you. Your cries and my groans joined alongside the night's crickets, stealing their performance with our sinful one.

My hand snaked around your throat and pulled you against my chest. You lolled your head towards me seeing now the devious glint that filled my expanding pupils. You were hazy, yet you still had the energy to shiver at the madness that flooded every apex of my body.

“Can you feel how your sweet pussy grips my cock?” I rasped.

You nodded as tears streamed down your face. My panting breath skimmed over your lips, before dipping my head and claiming them. My tongue fought entrance, your nails clutching at my leather jacket as I was showing no mercy at the assault of my hips and mouth. Our make-out session was brimful of lust, and a lecherous frisson ran down my spine. 

You were battling for a breath and I, to savor you. To ravage your sweaty flesh and my teeth marks to remain on your skin like favorable tattoos.

You are meant for me.

“Good. Because no one will have that but me.”

In a flash of movement, my hand forced your head back to the hood, and focusing on the thrust of my hips, my balls tightened as I ejaculated inside you. Letting my high linger for a while, I finally withdrew to fix my trousers.

Then I bend down to your entrance and sucking my cum from your red cunt, I grab a fistful of your hair, craning your neck to the side. As if you knew what I was planning, you opened your mouth like a good girl and I spit my seed for you to swallow.

I slapped your cheek with a mischievous smirk stretching across my lips.

“You did drugs, didn’t you?” You finally fess up once we are back in the car and ready to head back to the destination of my apartment. You might think I abide by the promise of returning you back to your house, though I won’t. After that experience, I don’t think I will be able to let you out of my sticky webs.

“Like someone wise said, don’t ask the obvious.”

You smiled at my tease, thus I noticed at the corner of my eye that there was sadness on your exterior. You weren’t fond of, since we first crossed paths, about me caning to such substances but it is easier to resume rather than quitting.

Soon your brows knitted into a deep line, losing yourself in your dreaming bubble. “You said about someone watching me when… You know…”

“Bending you over and fucking you?”

Blush crept through your cheeks and I repressed a laugh. “Yes. What was that about?”

Oh, how much I wanted to confess my sins of watching you on the restless night were exhaustion couldn’t reach me due to being far gone with your image invading my brain like obnoxious wasps. Therefore, when I glanced at your way and saw you skeptical, I just couldn’t.

In the end, I lied that it was simply a razz and there was no truth in my statement — thanking the destiny when you seemed convinced by my falsehood.

However, when you opened the sun visor to fix your smeared makeup, a photo slipped, before falling on your lap. And that photo was from nowhere else but you at the party I picked you up from.

[dirtywresling102]

Can I get a Darby Allin and female reader imagine? Something like they always cross paths and like each other but both are too nervous to talk about it until reader does a dangerous move and gets hurt.

Pairing: Darby Allin x Female!Reader

Warnings:

Imagine Requests: Open!

The first time you ran into Darby was at a bakery, your favorite bakery in your hometown. You almost didn't even recognize him without his face paint. Chatting a little before saying your goodbyes you thought it was odd that Darby was in your home town.

The next time you ran into Darby was at the mall with some of the wrestlers on AEW, you guys decided to hit the mall while in the city that AEW was taken place at. You walked into Hot Topic to see the graphic shirts to see Darby already standing there. "Darby?" You laughed in surprise to see the male look up at you and smile.

"Y/N?"

"You decide to hit the mall too before the show?"

"Yeah, I usually do. This is how I get my shirts." He held up a shirt with a graphic design of cats around a pentagon.

You grinned, knowing he would look adorable in the shirt, he looks adorable in anything. "Well, I think you should totally get it."

The show began with a battle royal with the women to make things interesting and kick the show off with a little heat. The winner would get a title shot for the AEW Women's Championship.

Grabbing the rope, you stumbled upon your feet in a weak manner. Watching the women in the middle of the ring fighting and throwing forearms at one another. Climbing the top rope you faced the crowd, your back towards the women as you crossed your arms and jumped off the top rope, doing Darby's move, a Coffin Drop.

Landing on the group you exhaled a breath groaning as the air from your lungs was knocked out of you and your head hitting the mat hard. The lights became fuzzy as every sound seemed to be muffled by a high pitched ring.

The royal went on, you were soon thrown out and making your way backstage, holding your head. Trainers quickly surrounded you and told you to sit down while they examined your bleeding head.

"Y/N!" Darby called out, kneeling in front of you. "Are you okay? You gave me a scare." Darby's hand resting upon your knee.

Feeling the warmth of his hand spread over your thigh you grinned widely. "Never better." You winced as the trainer touched your scalp.

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Chapter 3: 2019, North Island Naval Base - Tinkerbell

Chapter 3 Part 2 of You Are My Soulmate

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader

Description: You've been unable to deny the pull Rooster Bradshaw has on you. But, he avoids you like you're the plague. When a new mission is given to the pilots, you're honored that your team is to be involved. But the new mission brings new challenges, both amongst the teams you work with and their planes. When Rooster flagrantly disregards what you said for safety, you weren’t expecting the pull you've been feeling to go far deeper than you would ever expect it to.

Disclaimers: Misogynistic speech. Mentioned Homosexual Relationships. Angst. Flagrant disregard for protocols or Authority. Angst. Anguish.

This content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting tag-list requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story.

Warnings: Female!Reader

Word Count: 3792

A/N: Hello, hello! Here's Tinkerbell’s part to the happenings of Chapter 3! Her pain was really hard to write and portray accurstely. In any case, I hope you all love this chapter and feel free to scream at me for it!

AO3: Cross-posted Here!

My Masterlist

Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

Your mind seems to turn in circles the more you think about it. How could Bradley Bradshaw be your soulmate? Sure he has a gorgeously maintained canary blue truck. Sure he ticks off all of the physical features your soulmate should have. But he's a dick! Your one soft moment with him during the AMDO inspection hasn't changed anything. He still glares whenever he sees you and when you’re with Jake? He’s extra nasty. You’re still not sure what you did to make him hate you so much. If he’s your soulmate, how could he hate you?

You’ve heard first hand how contentious Jake’s relationship had been with him before the Uranium Mission. Is that what this is? Leftover animosity because a pretty girl is close to Jake? Does he not see how happy Jake and Javy are together? They’re so easy to read for you, and you’re sure for at least Phoenix, but it’s hard to know if you haven’t been explicitly told so.

He's a bit of a space cadet whenever you see him following the AMDO inspection. Everytime you make eye contact, he seems to run into something or blush and walk away. Jake takes great pleasure in exploiting this new development, because your best friend is nothing but a dick at the best of times. But even Jake’s fun gets cut short as Top Gun seems to be held in a vice. Rear Admiral Mitchell rarely naps on the sofa in your team’s hangar anymore and all of the admiralty are notoriously short tempered. It’s not the midwinter budget crunch either. You’ve been hearing murmurings of a high profile mission from your friends at the Pentagon, and you have a terrible feeling about what is to come.

When the admiralty assembles your team, the Daggers and the Top Gun cohort in the biggest hangar on base bright and early on a Monday morning, the sick feeling in your stomach intensifies.

“Aviators, following the success of the Dagger Squadron during what we’re choosing to call the Uranium Mission, the Navy assembled the Daggers as a hit squadron. Your mission was to assist at Top Gun and assist the Navy by partaking in all of those missions for which your unique expertise would be necessary. Your specialties are uniquely necessary for this mission. But you alone will not be enough. This is where the current Top Gun cohort comes in.”

“Aviators.” Admiral Mitchell pulls up blueprints and pictures of bunkers located in the middle of a jungle. “These bunkers, aviators, are your target. They’re located just below ground level in a natural depression, surrounded by a Faraday cage and heavily guarded by both ground troops and patrolling jets."

“So what’re we doing, Mav? A bombing run? Why are these bunkers so important?” Phoenix looks intrigued by the prospect. It’s going to be a challenging mission, alright. You can already tell why your team is involved. That Faraday cage is going to be the biggest technological challenge.

“There’s a high-profile US Government informant in those bunkers. They’ve been captured by the enemy and profusely tortured. But we don’t know which building. As the area is heavily wooded and crawling with enemy troops, our air support will scan and identify which bunker the informant is in and laser target the building so the ground team can extract them. But that’s the easy part of the job. The hard part is getting to the enemy facility with miles of heavily patrolled airways between our entry approach and the base itself.”

“Aviators, it will be a dogfight the whole way there. They’ve got 5th gen fighters. Our only hope for survival will be splitting our complement of 16 planes into four teams of four. We’ll have three teams flying single-seater F-18s. Two of those teams will be engaging the enemy in dogfights. The third will be providing air cover for the ground team. The fourth team will be flying at high altitudes in F-15Es equipped with laser sighting and targeting systems. Using satellite imagery, this team will paint the bunker containing the informant with a geo-locked tag.”

“We have to extract the informant before the enemy moves them again. So far they’ve been moving them once a month to another bunker in the area. Our intelligence has confirmed that the informant will be moved to this facility by the end of the month. So we have a few weeks to get the timing right. Failure is not an option.”

Your team already looks ready for the challenge, scrawling ideas down on their tablets while the aviators look at the frankly ridiculous flight plan Admiral Mitchell has pulled up. While you should be doing the same, you’re struck by a couple of things. First, the pure wonder and determination in Rooster’s face. Second, you note how steep the climb is on the F-15Es. The laser sight cannot fail when it’s that high up. Neither can the heat sensors or geo-tag. You can already see the F-15E schematics in front of your eyes as well as potential failure points. You get so wrapped up in your thoughts that it takes Lieutenant Green several tries to jolt you out of your head.

“You alright, Commander?” The hangar’s nearly empty when you smile weakly at her.

“Yeah, Lieutenant Green. I have a few ideas to reinforce the F-15E so it can sustain flight at high altitudes and so the laser targeting and geo tagging functionalities remain stable at high speeds.” Your smile is soft as she excitedly begins chattering on and on.

You spend the next week and half in the hangar, working around the clock on the modifications to the F-15Es. You’re barely eating and sleeping, only years of military training ensuring that you’re presentable. Everything has to be perfect on this mission, especially if he’s going on it, and you know he will. You can’t let anything happen to him. Not to your soul.

It’s a week and a half before the mission when one of the flight crews notice that Lieutenant Bradshaw’s front landing gear isn’t deploying correctly. As the most senior Aviation Maintenance Duty Officer, you add checking out Rooster’s landing gear to your already fully stacked plate. If anything, you push it to the top of your priorities. No soulmate of yours is going up on a training hop with faulty landing gear. Of course, the only time you get to take a look at his jet is at half-past four in the morning. You know the Daggers have been running simulations at six o’clock for the past few days and hope the hour and a half is enough to assuage your worries.

Every joint in your body aches, down to the bone, and you know you don’t look much better than you feel. Your face is drawn and the bags under your eyes are so dark that they’re purple. You’ve resorted to shoving on spectacles just so you can see clearly, your eyes irritated after long hours wearing contacts around jet fumes. Time whizzes by as you slide under his jet and check out every piece. You barely notice the way grease splatters hot on your face, you’re so intent on making sure every part is functioning properly.

The rough “G’morning” you hear startles you out of your meditative work. It is Lieutenant Bradshaw, of course, and his voice sends heat rushing to your face and ties your tongue in knots.

“Lieutenant!” Your voice is a little high pitched as you desperately search for a rag to clean your hands off on. “Good Morning!”

“What’re you doing under there, huh? And so early?" God damn, Naval Aviators are another breed. Standing there in a flight suit, Bradley Bradshaw looks like sin, the baggy flame retardant material unable to hide just how muscular he is.

"One of the ground crew noticed that your front landing gear wasn't deploying to its full capacity yesterday. Before we grounded you for the day, I wanted to check it out and see if I could identify the problem and get it fixed.” You smile at him, but your smile drops off of your face as a frown takes over his.

He’s nearly glaring as he takes in every word that drops from your lips. You know this is an important mission for the aviators, but as far as you’re concerned, Bradley Bradshaw has nothing to be worried about, right?

“Did you find the problem?” His voice is a near growl as he spits the words out, getting into your face. Vitriol, you can handle, even as it hurts your heart.

"Yes, Lieutenant, I did. The hydraulics on the front landing gear aren’t deploying correctly. I’m afraid you will indeed be grounded for part of the day while I get a maintenance crew to swap out the part.” His eyebrows furrow, rage making his jaw sharp as he chews on his words. You can’t bear the rage in his face so you turn to your tablet, checking on North Island’s parts inventory and maintenance roster. As luck would have it, you have both a new landing gear and a maintenance crew available this morning. You’re almost too quick to put in a work order and replacement part requisition form to get him back up in the air.

“I can get a crew assigned, so you should be good to go by mid-morning, Lieutenant.” Your smile is hopeful even as Jake walks into the hangar with the biggest cups of coffee in a drink carrier in his hand.

“Hey, Tink!” Jake must be able to sense how exhausted you are because his Texas drawl is immediately over-exaggerated and goofy. “Your coffee, sweetheart!”

Your grin is a little goofy as you giggle out, “Hey, Jake! Thanks! I’ll come get it in a bit. Give me a few to talk to Lieutenant Bradshaw and I’ll be right there!”

“Of course! Take your time!” Your smile fades as soon as you turn back to Bradley Bradshaw, because the man is glaring at you like you’re everything that’s wrong with the world.

“Lieutenant Commander, that is unacceptable. I need to be out there, flying!” You can feel the anger rolling off of him in waves.

“I understand that, Lieutenant, probably better than anybody. But I can’t replace this part any faster if I did it myself. This is the US Navy. There are procedures that I need to follow.” You’re not sure who you’re trying to placate, him or yourself. Every dirty look he levels you makes you feel like the worst person on the planet.

“Can we at least talk to Mav? See if there isn’t a spare jet or something that I can borrow?” He looks rather like a little boy wheedling for more play time before bed. But you can’t give in to the look in his eyes.

You exhale softly, before pulling up the jet inventory on base. You show him the jets, murmuring, “What do you mean, is there a spare jet you can borrow? This is the Navy, Bradshaw, not a library. As you can see, there isn’t a single jet on base that you could be assigned temporarily.”

But when you look back up, Bradley’s puffing up rather like the one time Jake ran afoul of a rooster at Seresin Ranch. Rage is seeping from every single one of his pores. Just as you open your mouth to reiterate that protocol wouldn’t let you do this even if you tried, he’s spitting words at you again.

“You’re doing this for Bagman, aren’t you?” He’s completely in your face. It takes you far too long to figure out who he’s talking about. Jake?! Where does he fit into this conversation? As far as you know all he did was bring you coffee.

“Why the hell would I do anything for Lieutenant Seresin?” You turn your tablet off and set it on the workbench to the side before turning around and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Because you want him to get on one of the teams for the mission!” You can’t help the laugh that pours unbidden out of your mouth. That’s one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever heard.

“Why would I give Jake an advantage that nobody else has?” Bradley just looks at you in shock, swallowing for several moments before turning and charging out the door, muttering “Well, that’s just great!” as he goes.

“The hell was that about, Tink?” You slump right into Jake’s arms, your exhaustion taking the forefront of all your energy as you shrug despondently.

“I dunno, Jake. His front landing gear isn't working and I put in a work order and parts requisition form for the replacement. I told Lieutenant Bradshaw he’s grounded until the maintenance crew is done. He asked me if I was doing this so you got on the mission.” Jake’s face is pinched as he brushes the stray tear off of your cheek.

“Why’re you so worked up over him all the time, huh, sweetheart?” His innocent question sends shame coiling in your gut,

“I-I… I think he’s my soulmate, Jake. I want him to like me so badly, but I think every time he sees me, he thinks badly of me.” You’re blinking back tears with each word. “I just want to be his, Jake. That’s all. I know he’s going on this mission. I just wanted him to be safe when he’s up there.” You sniffle before accepting the coffee. “I’m okay, Jake. I promise. Go fly, flyboy. Be safe?”

You barely catalog the kiss Jake presses against your brow or the flippant salute he gives you as he walks out of the hangar. Your thoughts are a disordered exhausted mess.

You recollect yourself slowly, and are back to normal by the time your team walks in bright and early for their eight o’clock call time. It’s the first stress test of the F-15 E's laser targeting and geo-tagging system at high altitude and the energy is high. Your entire team is strapped into the comms with monitoring equipment on a long table in front of you.

Admiral Mitchell’s call of “Fight’s on!” starts the exercise and you’re captivated by the screaming squeal of the engines as the jets wheel and turn like a flock of metallic birds. The sun streams hot on your head as you and your team feverishly run tests on the new systems. The first aviators up in the F-15Es are the Daggers’ Pilot/WSO pairs. Everything seems to be going well when Halo reports a dead-eye on the laser targeting system. You call for an immediate landing and your team immediately starts analyzing the data as you join them. Partway through, Lieutenant Green turns on the radio and soon enough you have a running commentary to what is happening up in the sky.

Everything is quiet for a quarter of an hour longer when you see a jet come roaring out of the maintenance hangar. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. Is that Lieutenant Bradshaw’s plane? Is he taking off? You know the maintenance crew hasn’t gotten to his plane yet because you’ve been on them about it all morning. You cram your headset back over your head and turn on your mic.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw?! What are you doing?” You know he can hear you, by the heavy breaths you can hear on the other end. But he’s choosing to ignore you.

“Your jet is still not fixed. It’s not safe for you to be up there. Lieutenant!” You’re spiraling into a panic attack. You’re responsible for all the planes up there in the sky today, and all of the pilots in them. Please let him not get hurt. Please.

All of your pleas seem to fall on deaf ears as he takes off anyways and his jet's marker joins the one dogfight team missing a plane. Your heart’s in your throat as you catalog every swooping move his jet makes. Everything seems to be fine and just as you exhale, you hear sirens blaring through the comms. It’s Bradley’s plane. You pull up the monitors on his plane and gasp at the sight of every warning light on board flashing in a discordant harmony.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, decrease altitude, now!” You’re barking out the words even as the diagnostics show near catastrophic engine failure. The jet nosedives, and you join Maverick in screaming, pleading for him to eject.

“Ejection controls are locked up, Mav! I can’t do anything!” Your heart drops at those words. There’s nothing to be done, not by you on the ground or Admiral Mitchell up in the air.

You can hear the automated voice noting the altitude as it decreases too fast to be real. Then there’s silence. Far off in the distance, you hear a boom as the fuel left in the jet explodes. You feel numb as you shakily tug the headset off and stagger to a corner to throw up. A sharp pain’s taken residence where your heart used to be and the taste of bile clouds every sense. Your legs give out, and the last thing you see before you black out is your team’s shocked faces.

You wake to panicked whispering, the beeping of hospital equipment, and a teary Texan drawl.

“Sweetheart? Sweetheart!” He sounds frantic and his yelling draws the Doctor to you.

“Lieutenant Commander? Do you know who you are? Do you know where you are?” You answer the Doctor’s questions while rubbing at the wrist that is handcuffed to the bed.

“You fainted, Lieutenant Commander, when Lieutenant Bradshaw crashed. Do you know why that could be?” The Doctor sounds perfectly matter-of-fact, but you can’t help the shame you feel.

You can’t meet Jake’s eyes as you whisper, “I think he’s my soulmate, Doctor.”

The Doctor’s intake of breath is sharp as he pulls the nurse to the side and has a flurried conversation with her. You hear the words “soulmate” and “possible” and “bond sickness” but don’t get to hear anymore, because the next thing you know Admiral Simpson is glaring down at you in your hospital bed.

“Lieutenant Commander.” He softens his expression a touch, after a cough from Warlock. “What happened today, Tinkerbell? Can you tell me?”

You let it all spill, including the pain you felt when Lieutenant Bradshaw crashed, and vacantly catalog the emotions flying across Cyclone’s face. You still feel numb and emotionless, like a film is separating you from your emotions.

“Lieutenant Junior Grade Taylor saw you working on Lieutenant Bradshaw’s jet this morning at around 0500 hours. He also overheard an altercation you had with Lieutenant Bradshaw over the feasibility of him being able to fly today.”

You have this sick foreboding feeling in your chest at Admiral Simpson’s words.

“He believes you purposely sabotaged Lieutenant Bradshaw’s jet.” You can’t breathe. Holy shit you’re going to go to prison for severely injuring your soulmate if you don’t defend yourself.

“I…” You cough, your throat completely dry. The nurse spoons a few ice chips into your mouth and you let them soothe your throat before you try speaking again.

“I was examining Lieutenant Bradshaw’s jet this morning, that is correct, Admiral. I have a report from the maintenance crew on shift yesterday during training noting the failure of the front landing gear to fully deploy.”

“So I had the crew pull Lieutenant Bradshaw’s jet into the hangar. The altercation Lieutenant Junior Grade Taylor heard us having were solely because of the jet. Lieutenant Bradshaw wanted to know how soon it would be until he could fly again. I had to inform him that I couldn’t allow him to fly until his jet had been repaired and passed all flight readiness assessments - which I was well within my rights to do, sir. That is when Lieutenant Bradshaw accused me of favoring Lieutenant Seresin and sabotaging him so he would be grounded during today’s flight operations. I was quick to correct his assumption. The next time I saw him was when his jet roared out of the hangar and took off without my clearance.”

Your hands are shaky and your voice is thready and weak as you struggle to sit up in the hospital bed.

“I have the work order and part requisition on my tablet as well as the initial report from the maintenance crew.” It’s so obvious he doesn’t believe you, even as he pulls up the relevant reports on the tablet Jake hands him.

“I see …” Admiral Simpson looks like he’d rather chew nails than concede that you’re not at fault. The Doctor pulls him to the side to brief him on your condition but you know you’re not off the hook. Not yet.

“There will be a full investigation into this incident, Lieutenant Commander. In the meantime, I order you to take one month of mandatory leave. The Doctor suspects you have bond sickness. I’m sorry for assuming that your illness was due to guilt. I have full faith that the investigators will find you not culpable for Lieutenant Bradshaw’s injuries.” You can barely breath as the full weight of Admiral Simpson’s words hit you.

He may not think you’re culpable, but the Navy is notorious for rumor-mongering. Everyone in service will hear the rumors before long. No matter what the investigators find, you’re going to be accused of trying to hurt Bradley Bradshaw, well-known Navy legacy and well-liked man. You’ll forever be known as the girl who tried to kill, and maybe succeeded, in killing your soulmate. When you tune back into the hospital room around you, the admirals are gone and only the Doctor and nurse are left in the room.

The walls feel like they’re closing in, even as the Doctor tells you what bond sickness entails. You already feel the pain and exhaustion and weakness he mentions. Combined with the complete hopelessness coursing through your system, you can barely understand what he’s saying.

With your last bit of energy, you ask softly, “What’s Lieutenant Bradshaw’s condition?”

“His plane crashed at a fairly high speed and exploded when it made contact with the ground. He’s got some burning and a lot of broken bones. We’ve put him into a coma and are monitoring his condition closely. We can’t tell you anything else, I’m afraid. You’re not on his paperwork as his soulmate.” Your heart hits rock-bottom at the doctor’s words.

“He didn’t know before he went up. I suspected, but didn’t know for sure, not until I passed out.”

Jake wraps his arms around you as the doctor’s close the door to your room. Your sobs wrack your body and wet his uniform as you fall apart in his arms.

Taglist:

🛩️ @roosters-girl 🛩️ @infamous-reindeer 🛩️ @caitsymichelle13

🛩️ @mattyskies 🛩️ @cosmic-psychickitty 🛩️ @mygyn

🛩️ @julesclues 🛩️ @greenbaby12 🛩️ @bubblegumbeautyqueen

🛩️ @briseisgone 🛩️ @soulmates8

🛩️ @meganlpie 🛩️ @daphne-turner 🛩️ @captain-fandomwriter58

🛩️ @caidi-paris 🛩️@mazzbarnes 🛩️ @thedroneranger

🛩️@super-btstrash-posts 🛩️@eli2447 🛩️@chaoticassidy

🛩️ @kmc1989 🛩️@mayhemmanaged 🛩️@desert-fern

🛩️ @cassiemitchell 🛩️ @dakotakazansky 🛩️ @cherrycola27

🛩️@roosterforme 🛩️@beccaanne814 🛩️

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

[restlessmaknae]

restlessmaknae's request event [guide]

Celebrating 6 years on Tumblr and a number of followers I thought I would never reach, I would like to repay you for your love and support in the form of a request event. Writing is a hobby of mine that allows me to escape, to push my boundaries, and to leave an impact on readers. Even if you crack a smile, laugh at the words or feel understood by them, I'm truly honoured that you've joined me on this journey. 💞

Now, onto the good stuff.

As voted by you, readers, in a previous poll of mine, you can request stories based on genres, settings, but you can also throw a prompt into the mix.

HOW DOES THAT WORK?

You send me an ask with a genre and/or setting and a certain idol in mind, but you can add a prompt from these lists as well (they might help with certain settings):

Prompt list #1: Enemies to lovers but one is injured

Prompt list #2: Prompts for ex-lovers

Prompt list #3: Sacred romantic moments

Prompt list #4: Hurt comfort starters

Prompt list #5: "I HATE YOU, BUT I JUST DID SOMETHING TO HELP YOU AND NOW I NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF" prompts

Here are some examples:

best friends to lovers with Jake (Enhypen)

prince!Intak (P1Harmony) in a fantasy kingdom

zombie apocalypse au with Serim (Cravity) + enemies to lovers

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX)

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX) + exes to lovers

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX) + exes to lovers + murder mystery

RULES

Smaus, bulleted stories and reaction stories can't be requested

I don't write smut, and if I feel uncomfortable by your request, I have the right to reject it and not write it

Only member x reader/OC, no member x member stories can be requested (you can specify if you want a gender-neutral reader insert story, otherwise I write female!reader stories)

I decide on how long the story will be, but I plan on writing stories less than 5k for this event (so expect drabbles and one-shots)

There's no deadline by which I plan on posting your story, it depends on how much time I have beside my full-time job and how much inspiration I have for your requested story - so please, bear with me, I'll get around to it as soon as I can 🥰

One user can request up to 2 stories - for tagging reasons, I kindly ask you to let me know about the blog you want me to tag in case you would write the ask on anon (for instance, if your main blog isn't kpop-related, you can write on anon and tell me your kpop sideblog's URL/username)

I close the requests after receiving 12 requests or by 30th September - whichever comes first

I will combine all the requests into a masterlist as soon as they start coming in, so you know that I've received your message

BANDS/ARTISTS YOU CAN MAKE REQUESTS FOR:

A.C.E

ATEEZ

CIX

CRAVITY

ENHYPEN

EPEX

GOLDEN CHILD

NCT (Mark, Johnny, Jaehyun, Doyoung, all of WayV)

ONEUS

P1HARMONY

PENTAGON

SF9

THE BOYZ

TXT

VERIVERY

VICTON

WEI

Soloists: Kang Daniel, Woodz, Demian, Ong Seungwoo, Park Jihoon

If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

Otherwise, enjoy the event and request to your heart's content! 🥰

Tagging everyone on my taglist in case you would be interested in requesting (some I couldn't tag, unfortunately): @dat-town, @stories-inbetween-the-stars, @koishua, @tranquilpetrichor, @americanokisses, @effulgentfireflies, @kuleo26, @wccycc, @littlestartonightsposts, @squiishymeow, @sunooslover, @heyditseeey, @syrxiee2, @tsunchani, @hyunjinswife, @sweetjaemss, @laaylaaz, @fvrteez, @chaeryeongs-wife, @hyu-won, @bamboongi, @kyusqult, @chang-ryul, @winterbeartaehyungbestboy, @i2kittenz, @miafox117, @hannieyooon, @soobin-chois, @ishuayou

[stcandjsabmemes]

Finally, my first TPC X reader fanfic.

Yandere!Purpex x reader

You were once all by yourself in the Poly Forest, when you just so happened to notice a group of 3 blue-ish shapes not too far from you.

You were quite a lonely person, but this time, you felt like you didn't want to be alone anymore, so you went up to the group to meet up with them.

"Oh, hey new person, what's your name?" the blue-purple hexagon asked.

"Well, I'm (Y/N), and what's yours?" you replied.

"(Y/N)? That sounds like a nice name! I'm Purpex, by the way." she said.

After you two introduced yourselves, she introduced you to the two others, who were Marcle, a female blue sphere, and Squadril, a male blue cube with a top hat. Purpex told you that their group was called the Chipzel group, and that she was the leader of the group.

As you and Purpex were having your first conversation, you were being very nice to her, complimenting her on various things.

Once you and her finished the conversation, you bid her and the group farewell and left.

When you left, Purpex reflected on how nice you were to her, and she felt... something lovely in her heart. She described this feeling to Squadril and asked him what it was. He replied that it was most likely a romantic attraction.

After your first interaction with the Chipzel group, you had been meeting up with them often, being very nice to Purpex along the way too.  Doing these nice things to her only made her romantic attraction grow more and more stronger... dangerously strong...

One day, her attraction grew so strong that she began to become obsessive... You plagued her thoughts so much that she needed to know everything, everything about you. She slowly began switching to doing only the things you did, eating only the foods you ate, going only to places you've been to, listening only to the music you listened to... Your day-to-day routine was so important to her...

Another consequence of her growing obsession was extreme jealousy of others. She would not let others get in the way between you and her, you were hers and hers alone..!

One day, you were just hanging out with Cintagon, but neither of you knew that Purpex was secretly watching you two... Seeing her beloved (Y/N) with someone else made her blood boil, so she planned something vile to make sure he would never try to take you away from her again..!

Later in that same day, Purpex met up with Cintagon, claiming she just wanted to talk to him.

"Hey Cintagon, can we have a talk, and in a private place, please?" She asked.

"Uh, sure!" he replied enthusiastically.

As the two walked together through the Poly Forest, Purpex initiated the conversation.

"So, is it true that you were hanging out with (Y/N) earlier today?" she asked.

"Yeah, why? Is that a problem?" he replied in a confused manner.

With that, she violently shoved him to the ground.

"It IS, because they're mine only!" she angrily said.

"W-what do you mean they're 'yours'? Aren't they a friend to all?" Cintagon said in pain and fear.

"They were specifically nice to ME, so they're MINE only, and NO ONE ELSE!!" Purpex yelled.

"...Why are you so possessive of them..? This isn't a healthy relationship to have with them..." Cintagon replied.

"Oh, so you have a problem with my love for (Y/N)..?" She then pulled out a knife and aimed it at his head. "Then, you must simply perish..."

"WHAT?! PURPEX, PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY!!" Cintagon yelled in absolute terror

"You don't like how I love my dear (Y/N)... And because of that, you are worthy of death..." she threateningly said.

"I don't have a problem with how other shapes love, it's just that... this lov-" he replied.

As Cintagon was in the middle of his sentence, Purpex repetitively stabbed her knife into his body, the light green pentagon screaming with his blood spraying onto her face and clothes. After a while of stabbing, Cintagon was no more... His body was laying against a tree all bloody and lifeless...

"If anyone else doesn't like my love... THEY MUST DIE TOO!! HAHAHAHAHA!!" Purpex yelled in an insane tone.

The next day, Commando Circumsphere was getting worried. Where was Cintagon?! What if something bad happened to him?!

He decided to inspect the Poly Forest, since that's the last place he remembered Cintagon going into. After a while of searching, he finally found Cintagon's body, stabbed and bloody, making Commando Circumsphere sick to his stomach...

He then went back to talk with Pentellow, he wanted to break some horrible news to her about her father.

"Pentellow... I need to show you something, I don't think you're going to like it, but it's necessary..." he somberly said.

"Why..? Is something wrong..?" she replied.

"No need to ask anything, just come with me..." he said to her.

The two walked together to the Poly Forest and over to Cintagon's body. Upon seeing it, Pentellow's expression turned into one of despair and fear.

"N-no..! No!! DAD!!!" she yelled, on the verge of tears. The only thing that could be worse than this to her was if Iris, her boyfriend, was dead...

As Pentellow mourned the death of her father, Commando Circumsphere tried to reassure her.

"I'm so sorry as to what happened to your dad... I just don't know who could do such evil, vicious act..." Commando Circumsphere said in a depressing tone.

---------------------------------

OH BOY, this was truly something. This might be a part 1 because this took a while to make. Feel free to request TPC x reader stories in the comments.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Iron Man: Part One

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (implicitly)

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: canon violence and angst

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Tony never made anything easy. He had a rough childhood growing up, especially with Howard as a father. Yes, you feel bad for leaving Earth when you did. You didn't have to go. You could have stayed and you would have been with Howard to help him look for Steve. Would he be alive if you stayed?

Gaining Tony's trust wasn't gonna be an easy task, but you tried your fucking best.

The Howard you knew was gone and had been replaced by someone who was hard on his kid. He held Tony to a high standard that you've never seen a parent do, always expecting him to do better than everyone else. Yes, Tony went to MIT at the age of fourteen and graduated college at age seventeen but he's not a robot. Howard sees greatness and expects it all the time, and he doesn't stop to think about what his son would have wanted.

"Son of a bitch!" Tony yells and slams his bedroom door.

You're taking a shower in his bathroom since the one at your house is being renovated, so you quickly finish up and slap on some clothes. You open the bathroom door to see Tony pace the length of his room. The balcony doors are open and a nice breeze comes through cooling your heated skin from the shower.

"Tony, are you okay?" you ask carefully.

"No! It's my fucking father!"

"What did he do?"

"I try to give my thoughts about the weapons he's creating but it seems like no matter what I do, he never wants to listen. It's always, 'You can do better than that, son' or, 'You went to MIt. You should be better, Tony'. I'm sick and tired of him always saying shit like that."

What the hell happened to Howard when you were gone? You tried to catch up on Howard's life throughout the years but he purposely kept his parenting out of it. It's weird to see and hear Howard in this life when he was a complete sweetheart to you back then. He loved helping people and wouldn't stop working on inventions that would better people's lives. He often would talk about how excited he'd be for when he finally had a kid, how loved that kid would be.

"Your father is a complicated man," you tried to find the right words.

"Yeah, tell me about it," he scoffs and sits on his bed.

"Tony, listen to me," you sit next to him on the bed and take his hand, "I don't know what life was like growing up with him. I can't wonder what might have happened if I were here but I'm here now and you're not alone. You're a smart kid. Your father was building flying cars much later in life than you are now. You have potential and talent, don't let it go to waste. You don't owe your father anything, but if you need to, then show him just how much of a genius you really are."

"Thanks," Tony sighs. "Were you using my shower?"

"Mine's being renovated. What, you don't want me using your shower?"

"No. Just next time, let me know," he smirks.

"You wish," you laugh and get up from the bed. "You couldn't handle me, Stark."

Tony had a weird way of doing things but you tried your best to be there for him, even after his parents died in 1997. They were on their way to the Bahamas for a vacation when Howard wanted to stop by the Pentagon and deliver a redeveloped serum that was used on Steve back in the 40s. He must have been working on something big since you never got your hands on that serum or knew where it ended up. Their death surrounding that serum is a bit suspicious but an accident nonetheless.

Howard's lifelong friend and business partner, Obadiah Stane welcomed Tony into the family business to pick up where Howard left off. Tony was the designer, Obadiah was the idea person, and you were supporting your good friend from the sidelines. You've seen a lot of weapons in your days so you tried to give your input here and there that Tony so graciously accepted. He loved the spotlight just like his father, but you'd rather stay in the background and behind the scenes.

By the time Tony was in his late thirties, you'd been with him for nearly twenty years. Your relationship blossomed as much as it could without ever stepping over the "friendship" line. Tony is a great man but you're still hung up on your exes to be in a relationship with someone new. One died and the other is somewhere in this universe helping planets win their wars. Carol still has a big place in your heart you're not sure is going to get filled, but you know eventually you'll reunite with her. Maybe then you can figure out if she is the one for you. Bucky was supposed to be the one if he hadn't died. Even still, he would have died from old age by this time anyway, but you don't like to think about stuff like that.

Bucky is and will always be the greatest love of your life. You gave him a decade of love, passion, and adventure. All those memories are for your eyes only, and they're often what keeps you up at night. Alongside Bucky is this black hole where someone used to be, someone who you held to the same standard as Bucky, someone who you loved just as deeply as him. You're not sure who it is since your memory becomes hazy whenever you think too hard about it.

Jet-black hair. Tall with a slim frame. That's all you can see when you think about him. He kind of reminds you of what the Supreme Intelligence looked like before he tried to kill you and keep you prisoner on Hala.

Maybe one day you'll get the answers you're seeking, but today is not one of them.

Tony's been stuck at the casino all day betting, winning, ad losing everything he has. He became a multi-billionaire when his father died, and he's been reckless with money ever since. Everyone around him is hanging onto his every word, two girls are hanging off his arms, the men around the table and cheering for him to win, and you're standing in the back with your arms crossed just watching this happen.

Howard wouldn't be impressed.

"Work it!" Tony yells and rolls the dice at one of the casino games.

The reason he's even at this stupid casino is because he won an Apogee award. The Tampa Bay Business and Wealth Magazine recognizes and awards individuals who are dedicated to their industries like Tony is to Stark Industries.

"How long has he been at this?" Happy asks when he gets to you.

Happy Hogan is Tony's bodyguard and trusted friend. There is nowhere that Tony goes that Happy doesn't follow.

"All day."

"You are unbelievable." You turn to see James Rhodes walk over with an angry look on his face. "Where the hell have you two been?"

"He's been at this all day," you sigh.

"Tony, did you forget something?" Rhodey asks and taps on your best friend's shoulder.

"Just how much money I've won," he laughs.

"Yeah, you remember the Apogee Awards? They told me that if I presented you with an award, you'd be deeply honored."

"Of course, I'd be deeply honored. So, when do we do it?"

"It's right here. Here you go," Rhodey says and hands Tony the award he accepted earlier in the night.

"There it is. That was easy."

"I'm sorry, Rhodey. I tried to get him to leave earlier."

"It's fine. Obadiah saved his ass this time."

"Wow! Would you look at that? That's something else. I don't have any of those floating around," Tony scoffs and hands the award over to you. He slides a shit ton of chips into the middle and grabs the two red dice. He looks to the woman on his right and holds his hand out. "Give me a hand, would you? Give me a little something-something." The woman smirks and blows on his hand, and he moves his fist to Rhodey who is not amused. "Okay, you too."

"I don't blow on a man's dice."

"Come on, honey bear." Rhodey knocks the dice out of Tony's hand and right onto the table. "There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls!"

"Two craps. Line away," the dealer says when Tony doesn't get the winning number.

"That's what happens," Rhodey shrugs.

"Worse things have happened. I think we're gonna be fine."

Tony gathers his winnings as if he needs the money and starts to walk toward the entrance to the casino. You're on his right, Happy is on his left, and Rhodye is just trying to catch up.

"This is where I exit," Rhodey says and shakes hands with Tony. "Tomorrow, don't be late!"

"I will make sure he is there on time," you promise.

You, Tony, and Happy walk to the car that's waiting but before Tony can get in, someone calls his name. You turn and see a blonde woman trying to get through but is stopped by security.

"Mr. Stark! Excuse me, Mr. Stark! Christine Everhart with Vanity Fair magazine. Can I ask you a couple of questions?" 

"Is she hot?" Tony whispers to Happy.

"Yeah, she is."

You roll your eyes just as Tony turns to face her. The two security guards let her through once they see Tony is okay with this.

"You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?" she asks Tony and pushes her recorder in his face.

"Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."

"What do you say to your other nickname? 'The Merchant of Death'?"

"That's not bad. Let me guess, Berkley?"

"Brown, actually."

"Well, Ms. Brown, it's an imperfect world but it's the only one we've got. I guarantee you, the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals."

"Rehearse that much?"

"Every night, in front of the mirror before bedtime."

"I can see that," she chuckles. "All I want is a serious answer."

"Okay, here's serious. My old man had a philosophy, 'Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy'."

"That's a great line coming from the guy selling the sticks."

"My father helped defeat the Nazis." Yeah, alongside you and Steve. Your shoulders sag at the memory of him. "He worked on the Manhattan Project. A lot of people, including your professors at Brown, would call that being a hero."

"A lot of people would also call that war profiteering," she counterargues.

"Tell me, do you plan to report on the millions we've saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starvation with our intelli-crops? All those breakthroughs are military funding, honey."

"Do you ever lose an hour of sleep your whole life?" she asks and cocks her right eyebrow.

"I'm prepared to lose a few with you."

Tony turns to you and raises both his eyebrows in silent question. You live with Tony now and he doesn't want you in the house, not that you'd want to stay and hear their porn set.

"I'll catch up with you guys later. You two enjoy yourselves."

There is an Air and Space Museum located in Downey, California which is only an hour's drive from where Tony's house is. After World War I, all air and space museums had some sort of space dedicated to the work you and Steve did for your country. The largest section is located in Washington DC but you're not going to go there at this time of night. With your aerokinesis powers, it only takes you twenty minutes.

The museum is close to closing but they still let you in when you hand them a wad of money for a ticket. This museum has a lot of great stuff for people to see but you're only here for one thing and one thing only. Steve's section is located in the back where there are only a few people left finishing their self-tours.

It's a small section that shows Steve's face, your face, and Bucky's face. Beside each picture is a small snippet of the work you did and how it contributed to your country. The one in Washington DC has mannequins with outfits you used to wear, Steve's old stage outfit, a lot more information on what happened, and videos of the kind of people you three were. It seems like no matter who talks about what happened, you three are the sole focus.

After all, it was Bucky who died trying to capture the enemy, and it was you and Steve who saved New York from a bomb.

You sit down right in front of the exhibit and look at your boyfriend's black-and-white face. In your eyes, he's still yours because he doesn't feel gone. Nine hundred years on this Earth and no one has ever made you feel the way Bucky has. Losing Steve only made that hole wider. Carol took that spot but wasn't able to fill the entire hole.

"How am I supposed to do this without you?" you whisper to Bucky's picture.

The memory of you being on that train is still fresh as if it happened yesterday and not sixty-six years ago. Sixty-six years ago. Will you ever find peace about what happened? Will you ever be able to move on? When the employees do their initial sweep around the museum to kick everyone out, that's when you leave. It's well into the night which means Tony and Christine should be done with whatever they're doing.

You get to your home in the middle of the night but Jarvis recognizes you as soon as you open the door. The place is dark and quiet just how you hoped it would be. Christine's clothes are scattered across the floor along with a few articles of Tony's. You head to your room and lay on the bed in silence. It takes an hour to fall asleep into a dreamless night.

x

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