#penelope is literally a woman & she managed to provide for herself while he spends his family’s money on a whim

[cerullos]

genuinely baffled by the outpouring of pen/colin ship content, he’s completely insufferable

[pathofcomet]

'cause all that you are is all that i'll ever need

fandom: bridgerton series / bridgerton tv 

pairing: colin/penelope

summary: 5 times Penelope said ‘I love you’ to one Mr. Bridgerton, and one time it was out loud. (AO3)

There are many ways to fall in love, surely. It’s called a fall for a reason: mainly that it hurts and it comes at the most unnecessary moments and it’s an entirely ungraceful matter. Just as one might fall down the stairs after too many glasses of champagne, or fall unconscious after being punched in the face, or fall because one’s ankle decided to twist most rudely – so do people fall in love in a various of ways.

Benedict Bridgerton swears it was love at first sight, like being struck by lightning. Laying his eyes on his beloved that fateful day, and knowing with insane certainty that he was going to spend the rest of his life by her side. Then Daphne’s murmured admissions, that it’s like a sigh you didn’t know rested in your chest releasing, rush of comfort and certainty when touching the other’s hand. Eloise scoffs at all of this, but Eloise can scoff because she has refused six marriage proposals, while Penelope sighs, because she hasn’t had one caller in a decade of London’s most notorious seasons.

Romantic stories wouldn’t fit with Penelope, she agrees. Her mouth doesn’t really know how to work half the time during social situations, and her dresses are most painfully unfitting. And if those were her only problems, but she is, to put it delicately and kindly, definitely not what seasonal diamonds want in a friend, not what loving mamas wish for their sons and not what men desire in a woman. It stung only the first time around, afterwards it was most expected. So no, Penelope Featherington’s love story is not romantic because she’s not a typically loveable person.

It doesn’t make it any less precious in her heart. When her bonnet flies with the gust of wind, consequently covering one Colin Bridgerton’s face while riding, and consequently having him fall down his horse directly in a fresh puddle of mud, she is mortified, certain that she is about to ruin her life before it even began. But then he laughs – not to mock her, not in jest and not in anger, unlike any of her past experiences with a man’s laughter, especially thrown in her direction. He doesn’t even look angry, not at her anyway.

And Penelope falls, too, even if not quite literally as Colin. She’s not sure how she recognizes it exactly as love – maybe the desperate flutter of her heartbeat against her wrist, or the fact that she can’t quite unglue her eyes away from his face (though that seems like an overall Bridgerton issue). Regardless, the truth and weight of the moment hung deep in her chest. Instead, what she manages to say, between the warm blush and their mothers’ chatter, is just an apology.

“I’m the one who should apologize.”

But she has a meddling mama, and he’s nothing but a young man despairing at such nagging, and despite how much she cares for this first moment, she knows she doesn’t quite yet exist in his life. And then – with her debut, with her growing friendship with Eloise, she suddenly is.

***

“Enjoying the evening, Mrs. Featherington?” Colin asks, having materialized himself near the refreshments table.

Penelope chokes on her drink, her cheeks reddening, the fingertips of her gloves now stained.  She has been sipping at her glass for the best part of an hour now, wondering how much longer she can wait for everyone to get so drunk that they won’t notice her grabbing one of the cakes on the table. The answer is obviously an eternity, for a lady should never eat in mixed company, especially if she is a debutante. But although this is barely her fourth ball this season, Penelope has already learnt the most important lesson of her life: that she is not what others would necessarily call a catch. Just because that is true, however, doesn’t mean she can do as she pleases, no matter how incredibly tasty the chocolate cream might look to her right now.

Colin obviously seems to have no problem with such rules, as he pops a biscuit inside his mouth. This one Bridgerton son is known for his appetite in particular, and social circumstances seem to not make much of a difference to his need. And the amount of food he ingests seems to not make much of a difference on how handsome he is.

Penelope pushes her glass on the table, straightening her back, though she immediately hunches back, aware that she’s wearing one of her mother’s absolutely horrid choices, and hell-bent on making it as unobvious as possible.

“Absolutely entertaining,” she answers, though the enthusiasm in her voice most certainly does not match her words.

“I’d rather agree,” Colin retorts. “I haven’t been this bored since Anthony got drunk and drawled on about the responsibilities of the first son.”

“Mr. Bridgerton!” she says, raising her fan so she can hide her smile behind it.

“Keep it a secret, Mrs. Featherington, would you? The Bridgertons tend to be quite unforgiving about these things.”

She thinks of Eloise and her adorably brilliant tendency to throw a tantrum about every single thing that bothers her about her siblings, whom she loves very, very much at the same time, which only makes her smile even larger. They’re such a lovely family, and with time, they’ll only grow to seem even more so in her eyes.

She nods her head in agreement, meeting his eyes over the edge of her fan. He looks, suddenly, quite proud to have her on his side. From across the ballroom, Eloise spots them: sending a nasty look at Colin, and waving her friend over.

“And please, Colin,” he leans a bit to whisper this to her, as the orchestra starts playing another song. “As it seems we will be seeing each other quite a lot.”

“Then, Colin,” she breathes, the name still foreign in her mouth, the roll of it on her tongue so strange that she’ll test it out many times over, in the darkness of her room long after she’s supposed to be asleep. “You may call me Penelope.”

She tries not to fixate on the sound of her name in his mouth (or his mouth in general, that’d be a good idea as well), and fails immensely, everything Eloise tells her that night flying over her head.

***

Penelope isn’t sure when the habit actually started: serving her tea once a week in the company of the Bridgertons. Of course, the number always changes, depending on the day’s circumstances, but it’s always more lively than her own home, in the most pleasant sense. Even the gossip doesn’t feel as cutting in here, with the warm banter and somewhat friendly threats. Eloise is now entangled in a complicated conversation on the virtues of marriage with her sister Daphne, and they’re sure on two different sides on the topic. Violet Bridgerton, the matriarch, just sighs. She meets Penelope’s eyes over the heads of her children, and smiles in a kindest manner. Eloise just rejected her second marriage proposal, while her best friend is yet to receive even a caller in her drawing room.

She recognizes the smile as the pity it is, and yet even that doesn’t feel as bad in here. Penelope has always taken only what has been given to her and made the best out of it. It’s hard when that is actually nothing, indeed.

“Pen,” Colin greets, draping himself in an armchair close to the side of the sofa where she is seated.

He doesn’t yet know how incredibly appropriate this nickname of his is, which is why Penelope smiles so brightly when she turns towards him. Violet’s attention has already moved towards Hyacinth and George, her youngest children, fighting quite loudly over the same colour that they both want to use right now in their paintings. She fails exactly to notice Daphne’s on them now, maybe out of lack of familiarity with the eldest sister.

Colin hands her a piece of paper, and she raises her eyebrow at him before taking it. He’s immediately replacing it with a piece of cheese from the numerous platters on the table, and that’s how she knows he is, in fact, quite nervous about whatever this is about. So she opens the piece of paper.

“The itinerary for my Europe tour,” he provides, though it wasn’t necessary, as she obviously recognizes the most famous locations. “Wanted to know what you think.”

The paper almost slips from her hands, unfair as he is right now. Of course, he has no way of knowing that he’s asking the one who loves him what she thinks about having him away. Penelope manages to somehow smile in-between the thundering of her own heart.

“You’re asking the opinion of a soon-to-be-spinster who has never left London?”

Joking is safe, she can cover her misgivings so easily with some humour – and Colin is so good at picking it up, matching her in her banter.

“No,” he says, and his thumb is over his lips, where he’s licking a spot of jam, and Penelope is quite distracted by the sight of his tongue in-between his fingers. “I’m asking my friend.”

Her neck snaps with how quickly she moves to meet his gaze. There’s a warmth feeling spreading all through her body, overwhelming with how pleased she is at the simple fact that he considers her a friend, how shocked at such admission.

“Are we not? Friends, that is.”

“Of course,” she adds, a bit too fast, and he smiles.

“Then?” the tone of his voice now turns teasing again.

“Colin,” she says, and her mouth twists in a smile just at the syllables making up his name. “You’re a young man: if there’s a world out there you wish to see, all you have to do is go.”

Even if she has to say goodbye, even if she has to see him go, just because she knows it’ll make him happy.

***

Penelope can feel herself getting physically sick. It’s been years now, of her silent love growing and growing in her chest – and it would seem that this moment would destroy it all.

Colin, standing in-between his brothers, having just shouted at the top of his lungs that he will never marry one Penelope Featherington, looks quite livid now that the exact person has been standing in the doorway for long enough to have heard him. Their eyes meet, and she wishes, with all the strength she is capable of, that he would say something. She waits – five seconds: the eldest, Anthony, starts finding excuses for his brother, but there’s really nothing else she wants to hear right now.

She knows her hands are trembling, which is why she hides it by fisting the material of her dress. She knows her voice cracks, when she says his name, but that’s just because she will absolutely not cry in front of three perfectly fine gentlemen over something that is entirely her problem. All things considered, she thinks she handled the situation more gracefully than a lot of others would have.

And when the other Bridgerton men leave the room, and Colin is left stumbling through his apologies, she discovers how meaningless she actually finds them. Because even with her heart breaking exactly because of the one she loves, she finds herself unable to love him any less. Yes, her pride is wounded, but he has said nothing that she didn’t know so well so far.

“I assure you, it is quite alright.”

The pain is there, sharp and terrible – but she will play pretend and she will say whatever words he needs to hear right now, because while he was unnecessary cruel, he was never so in front of her, on purpose, and there’s no need for her to be mean in return. And most of all, because she loves him so desperately, she doesn’t want him to be pained over this, not like she is. Anguished, really, and when Colin shakes his head, knowing that whatever apologies he’s given aren’t enough, but certain enough that he can’t give more, she almost runs in her haste to get away from him.

To get somewhere where she can cry her feelings out. Though her love, as every time, always lingers.

***

Her mother should get an award for the most optimist person, seeing how even with two of her daughters married, she still insists on parading a third one through ballrooms and promenades, as unsuccessful as they prove each and every time, and as old as they both keep getting.

Her mother should also get an award for way less flattering awards, seeing how she insists on dressing her daughter in the most terrible, happy colours, and pointing at third-rate suitors even as they’re standing right in the middle of the ballroom and it’s incredibly embarrassing.

In her defence, once they’re there and once it’s obviously clear Penelope is as unsuccessful as during any other social gathering before, she is left pretty much alone the rest of the time. She’s a wallflower, so just standing on the side of the dance floor and looking awkward is what she does best. The worst part is that this situation puts one quite in the spotlight of everyone else present, especially those old enough to have no other occupation but gossip.

Violet Bridgerton elbows her son in his back, hard. Who knew his mother has such incredibly sharp bones, or such a demanding tone? Colin has been home for a total of two days before he’s been dragged to the first ball, and he’s allowed three sips of his drinks before all attention-seeking young debutantes and their sharp mamas accosted him (which included his own dear one). Colin balances his options, and without even hesitating, he walks across the room to join Penelope in her sulking.

“I imagine these fine gentlemen are all waiting for their chance,” he says, looking around at several old lords, twice her age, which he knows she would not consider an eligible match no matter how desperate, “but would you maybe do me the honour of the next dance?”

She snorts. “I see you’re back and as amusing as ever.”

“You find me amusing?” he asks, already grinning.

“Colin Bridgerton, I’m not complimenting you again, lest it gets to your head,” she retorts.

“I missed you too, Pen.”

And it’s true. He didn’t realise it until just this moment, when they’ve fallen to their usual dynamic with no bit of awkwardness, even after the past months with his absence. It shames him just the tiniest bit that it has taken his mother’s most unkind pressure to even come by her side.

The orchestra starts its next song, and he extends his arm to her, which she takes with a blush and a shy smile. He is in fact her first dance for the night, and she has no doubt it’ll be the only one as well, which is a shame, since she always quite enjoyed dancing. Dances with good partners are the highlight of a party. Dances with Colin Bridgerton are the highlight of the season.

“Thank you,” she says, and if Colin wasn’t already leaned quite close to her, he maybe would have missed it entirely.

***

Penelope really should have learnt better by now – that her heart is never entirely safe with Colin. Be it that he has a tendency to step all over it, or that it makes it beat so fast, that she starts understanding all the ladies who faint all over during a season.

Being engaged with him doesn’t really change the situation. Not when his kisses make her feel like everything that she’s considered so bad in herself is worth the entire world, and then more.

With his hands now swiftly unlacing her dress, the shadow of his room all around them – she finds she cannot keep another secret for this man that is to be her husband,

“I love you,” she sighs. “I have loved you for years.”

“I know.”

How unfair he is, to the bitter end. Even as he essentially accosted her in his carriage, even as he asked her to marry him, even as he defended her in front of her numerous family, getting offended on her behalf, getting worried on her behalf… Terrible man that she loves, terrible man that Colin is, he drags out his own admittance as long as possible.

And she loves him for it, too.

[walkerismychoice]

Queen of My Heart - Chapter 10

The Royal Romance Reality Show AU

Pairing: Drake X MC, Liam X MC

Rating: M/NSFW

Author’s Note: I didn’t intend for this group date to extend into a third chapter, but this one got long on me, so there’s lots of Liam in this one and not much Drake. I’ll try and make it up next chapter. Also the end is NSFW.  

Tag List: @lazychic28, @choices-fanatic, @simplyaiden-blog, @butindeed, @bobasheebaby, @queencatherynerhys, @theroyalweisme, @boneandfur, @drakelover78 @notoriouscs, @mfackenthal, @blackcatkita, @devineinterventions2, @choiceswreckedme, @drakewalkerfantasy, @andy-loves-corgis, @traeumerinwitzhelden, @confessionsofabrokegirl, @decisso, @sir-wigglesworth, @drakesfiance

Word Count: 2505

Queen of My Heart Chapter Index 

"Wait, hold up!" Riley commanded. She couldn’t believe Liam would agree to faking her rescue for the sake of good TV. "Don't I get a say? This involves me too, and I think it’s ridiculous. Liam, do you really want to do this?”

“Not exactly...It’s just, things haven’t been the most stable politically or financially in Cordonia in recent years. I know I may be naive to think pulling silly stunts like this to get ratings and good recognition for Cordonia and myself will help, but I feel its worth taking the chance.”

“There has got to be other ways to go about it...And think of all the people who just witnessed what happened. Don’t you think the truth will get out one way or another?”

“You do have a point,” Liam conceded.

“Liam, Riley, I know I keep telling you this, but I have produced many shows like this, and I know what works. Half of what you see on those other shows is suggested, scripted, or shot over and over again to get the desired result. The contracts don’t allow for any sharing of details about what goes on behind the scenes. I’m sure nobody here wants to get sued for breaking their contract.” Kat purposefully looked around at everyone there. “And you know Riley, we can’t really put you back up on that horse again, so we either need a reason to explain why there’s no more footage of you on horseback, or we need to cut your out entirely.”

“What does that mean?” Riley questioned.

“It means that if you don’t want to do this, we can just send you back to the palace right now, and we can finish shooting this date without you.”

That was low. Riley wasn’t sure if the the directive was coming from Jo or Kat herself, but they were playing her and Liam. Riley thought they were on her side, and maybe they did have an interest in keeping her around, but the only side they were on was their own.

Liam pulled Riley aside and spoke quiet enough so others couldn’t here. “Riley, I know neither of us wants to do this, but I think the crew can pull it off and make it believable. I was ready to tell them I was with you in standing against it, but I can’t let them send you back. I was really looking forward to spending some time with you today. If you go back, I can’t say when my next chance will come, but it won’t be soon enough.”

Riley’s emotions were heightened, and Liam was just too damn irresistible. “Fine, but you better make it worth my while,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh, I fully intend to.” Liam winked at her and then he went and whispered in something in Kat’s ear. She appeared to be deliberating for a moment and then she nodded.

“So what was that about?” Riley asked when Liam returned to her side.

“You’ll find out.” He teased. “I just asked for a little something in return for our cooperation.” 

The re-shoot of Riley’s dramatic rescue had didn’t take long, thankfully. Everyone got back on their horses, except for Riley, who rode to the springs with one of the crew members by ATV. Riley wasn’t swearing off horses forever, but she was thankful to not have to get back on her horse right away.

After a short while, the group arrived at the hot springs. The show had managed to reserve the entire area, so it was off limits to the public for the day. As with most things Riley had scene in Cordonia so far, it was breathtaking. There were blue-green pools of water carved into the light colored stone formations with waterfalls cascading down from one pool to the next. Lounge chairs and tables with umbrellas were set-up around the perimeter of the pools. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. 

Everyone dispersed to the changing rooms to put on their bathing suits. Riley brought her favorite bikini. It was red with a triangle push-up halter top and low rise bottoms. When she emerged, Liam was already standing outside, wearing the same perfectly cut, navy blue swim trunks he had been wearing in the first picture of him she ever saw. She had been wowed by the picture, but it was no comparison to the real thing. The inseam was just the right length to show off his muscular thighs without being too short. The waistband sat low enough to fully showcase his sculpted upper body, with the top of his v-line peaking out.

"Riley...red is a...a good color on you," Liam fumbled for words. Apparently he was as wowed by the sight of her as she was by him.

"And blue is a good color on you," Riley replied cheekily.

Liam smiled shyly. "I promise we will get some time together today, but I need to make the rounds with everyone first. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course Liam. I'll be patiently waiting."

Hana, Penelope, Kiara, and Riley stuck together, hopping from one pool to the next. Although Riley was closest to Hana so far, the four of them seemed to click more with each other than any of the others. It's not like they were excluding anyone. Maybe more like the others were excluding them, but Riley didn't mind. Hana was smart, talented and just about the sweetest person you would ever meet. Kiara could seem intimidating at first, but she was a super intelligent woman with diplomatic aspirations and was fluent in several languages. Penelope might not come off as the sharpest knife in the drawer, but her excessive talk about her poodles stemmed from her anxiety and the comfort they provided. She seemed to be a compassionate person with a love for animals and fashion design. Riley knew she was in competition with these women, but if Liam happened to fall in love with one of them over her, she knew they would only choose to marry Liam for the right reasons.

The afternoon wore on with Liam hanging out with most of the women in small groups. He did spend some time with Riley's foursome, but that wasn't all he had meant when he said he would get some time with her, was it? She kept wondering if and when her time would come.

Riley would be lying if she said her mind wasn’t also on Drake. She had wanted to get him to like her before because it was a challenge, and because he was Liam’s best friend. But now it seemed like more than that. Were her feelings artificially forced by the intensity of the situation? He literally saved her life, or at the least prevented her from a potential serious injury. Was it just the fear and adrenaline artificially causing her to latch on to the person that was there for her? Or was she finally starting to see the real Drake Walker. All she knew was that she was having strong feelings for two men at once, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

So while Riley was frequently paying attention to where Liam was and was he was doing, she was also doing the same for Drake. She tried not to make it obvious, but she noticed he was watching her...a lot. Yes it was part of his job to know where she was, but he was definitely checking her out, and she was disappointed she couldn't do the same to him. Not being able to see what was beneath his clothing made her all the more desperate to know.

A short while before dinner was to be served, Kat approached Riley and her little group. "Hi Ladies. Riley I need to steal you for a little bit. We need you to fill out an incident report.”

“Even though though I wasn’t injured? Do we really need to do it now?” Riley wondered if Kat was trying to make things more difficult for her because she had protested earlier.

"Trust me Riley, you really want to get this out of the way now. You will be back by dinner the time dinner is served."

Riley wondered if this meant she would miss out on her time with Liam. She followed Kat around the backside of the stone carved pools. "Are you trying to punish me?" Riley asked?

They stopped in front of a large cave entrance. "Does this look like a punishment to you?"

Riley peered inside the cave and was blown away. There was a long rectangular pool that spanned the length of the cave. White cushions and pillows matching the pristine white walls of the cave lined the sides.

"I told you we'd get some time together." Liam appeared at Riley's side.

"Liam!...Wait, does our time together include filling out an incident report?"

"Oh, Riley," Kat shook her head, "There is no incident report...well at least right now. We will have you sign something tomorrow. We just needed an excuse to get you away from the group for a bit. Take this as my thank you for re-filming the scene earlier."

Riley still wasn't happy with Kat and Jo, but maybe they weren't all bad. Kat walked out, leaving Liam and Riley alone.

Riley looked around and noticed something was missing. "Hey, where are the cameras?"

Liam wrapped his arm around Riley's waist and pulled her close. "No cameras this time. It's just you and me."

Riley couldn't believe they were going to be completely alone for the first time, but she wasn't going to question her luck. She gave Liam a quick kiss on the lips.

Liam smiled. "So do you want to go for a swim?"

"I think we've had enough swimming today." Riley grabbed Liam's hand, led him over to the cushions, and sat down.

"Riley, I want to thank you again for re-filming the scene with me. I know you still aren't happy about it, but hopefully it is all worth it in the end...for both of us."

“Does that mean you see me here in the end with you? There are still so many women here you are getting to know...”

“Riley, I know it is still really soon to say this, but when I picture having to propose to someone at the end of this, you are the only one I see.”

Riley paused, processing what Liam had said. She knew things would have to move quickly, with the show taking place over the course of just a few months, but she was’t sure if she was ready to think of the final outcome yet. She had strong feelings for Liam for sure, but it was still early, and there were so many other women involved.

“What are you thinking about?” Liam asked. “Do you think you could see yourself as my wife, and the eventual Queen of Cordonia? I know this life is new to you, and this is so much to ask so early on...But I care about you so much already and I just want you to be happy. I won’t be upset with you if you can’t see this life for yourself.”

“You are right Liam, this is all very new to me, and I’m still taking it all in. Honestly, when I came here I had no expectations, and couldn’t even begin to imagine what the outcome would be. All I know is that I like you...a lot. I’m ready to see where this goes, but I don’t want either of us to make any promises yet.”

“That sounds fair...as long as you aren’t politely rejecting me,” Liam joked.

“Not at all...I was actually just wondering when you were going to stop talking and kiss me. Riley stared intently into Liam’s eyes.

A small smile pulled at the corners of Liam’s lips, and his eyes grew darker. “I was just waiting for you to ask.”

Riley moved in closer to Liam. He wrapped one arm around her waist and tangled his other hand in her hair, pulling her in for a kiss filled with heat and urgency. Liam’s hand traveled slowly from Riley’s hip, moving up the side of her torso, sending shivers down her spine. He softly caressed her breast through the fabric of her swimsuit and Riley let out a slight gasp.

“Is this okay?” Liam asked. 

Riley nodded and brought her lips to his, kissing him even more hungrily than before. In one smooth motion, Liam laid her back against the pillows and pressed his body against hers. She could feel the heat radiating off of him and his hard length pressing into her as they explored each other’s mouths. He traced his smooth fingers up her inner thigh at an agonizingly slow pace, making her desperate for more. 

Liam pulled away and looked into Riley’s eyes. “Let me know if you want to stop.”

Riley shook her head no. “Keep going,” she urged. She pulled him close to her again, running her hands up and down his backside. 

Liam continued further up her thigh, moving over the top of her bikini bottoms and lightly rubbing circles on her clit

Riley let out a quiet moan. Liam hooked his fingers under her waistband and pulled her bottoms down. He ran his fingers through her wetness before plunging one finger inside her and then another. He moved his fingers in and out while he kissed, sucked, and nipped from her lower belly up to her chest. He moved the fabric on one side of her top aside exposing breast. He ran his tongue over her nipple, and the cool breeze running through the cave made it tingle. He brought his mouth down again, flicking his tongue and sucking gently while increasing the pace of his fingers pumping in and out of her.

Riley’s breaths increased and she was quickly getting close to the edge. Liam used his thumb to rub circles on her clit and Riley couldn’t take anymore. She let out a quiet high, pitched moan and came, her muscles contracting around Liam’s fingers. 

Liam helped her get her bathing suit back in place and then kissed her sweetly on the lips.

Riley embraced Liam and whispered in his ear, “I think it’s time for me to return the favor.”

Liam shuddered. “Oh god Riley, you don’t know how bad I want that...but we have been gone long enough already. I wanted to do this for you. I can wait for my turn. As soon as you are composed, why don’t you head back to the group.”

“Are you coming soon?”

I’ll come back in a bit. We don’t want to raise suspicions. Everyone thinks I had to go take some business calls. I think I’m going to take a dip in the pool. I definitely need to cool off after that.

Riley gave him one last kiss and made her way back to the other ladies.