#pediatric surgeon jeol

[bumblepony]

Ellie hears him before she sees him, soft shuffle of his feet, low rumbled cough, creaking of joints as he slides down the wall next to her. "How you doin' in here kiddo?"

Ellie turns her head into her shoulder and using the sleeve of her constellation themed scrubs she wipes her tears away forcefully. "How do you think I'm doing Joel?"

"My first one was a 12 year old boy named José. He had been waitin' for a new heart since he was 10. In and out of the hospital a lot, I really got to know him, y'know." Joel's looking down at Ellie lime green Crocs with the dinosaur buttons on them, his fingers restless on his knee. "Everythin' had gone great the surgery was done just closin' him up and suddenly his heart stopped. I've never reopened a patient faster. I worked on him for 30 minutes tryin' to get him back. They had to get Tommy to get me to stop."

Ellie wipes away more tears her cheeks raw and chapped. "So what are you gonna tell me? It gets easier." She spits angrily, her lips twisting into a grimace.

"No Ellie I ain't gonna lie to ya. It never gets easier." Joel's voice is soft, gentle but Ellie can hear the sharp, naked truth behind it. "It hurts every damn time." Ellie gives him a look like 'dude' and he gives a humorless chuckle "I'm not good at this."

"Yeah, you really aren't." Ellie mumbles, a half sob half laugh escapes her lips. Joel wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulls her against his side and she turns her face into his chest fisting her hands into his horse themed scrubs.

"What I mean to say kid, is that it don't get easier but you learn to lean on people who help ya through it. You're not alone here Ellie, we all care about you. Me, Tommy, Tess, Maria we want you to succeed. You don't have to go through this alone." Joel cups the back of her head as she finally lets go and cries into his chest. "It's okay kiddo, let it out."

When she finally pulls away Joel hands her a bright yellow cowboy hat patterned handkerchief, which she can't help giggling at. "Where the hell do you get these things." She asks blowing her nose loudly.

"You'd have to ask my wife about that. She's the one who gets them for me." Joel says shifting uncomfortably on the tile floor.

"That Tess man she's really good at finding some weird ass shit." Ellie says standing up and extending her hand to him "C'mon get up you lazy ass"

Joel takes her hand letting her help him up as he grouses, "Lazy ass. Fifty six years old. You little shit."

Ellie laughs as she flips him off and spins around. She's almost out the door when she stops and spins back to him almost knocking him over. "Ah, thank you Joel. You're not as bad at that as you think, okay."

Joel reddens slightly and looks down at his feet wiggling his toes in his Crocs nervously. "It's no problem kid. Happy I could help."

Ellie nods her head and then gets a wicked smile "Joel, what do you call a dinosaur surgeon?" Ellie asks raising her brow.

Joel shakes his head "I got no idea."

"A pterodactyl-ologist! Do you get it Joel, A pterodactyl-ologist!" She guffaws slapping her knee and grabbing her side.

"That's a good one. 8/10."

"Na-ah 10/10 for sure."

"No way kid, there's always room for improvement."

--------

@mariatesstruther @clickergossip @ameerawrites I really wanted to write your tags, I hope it lived up to what you were imagining.

watching greys anatomy and thinking of a tlou x greys au where surgical intern ellie is trying to work her way up to a cardio residency at jackson memorial hospital—problem is, cardio attending joel miller is a complete and total asshole

[bumblepony]

"Hey kid, give me five," Joel says, throwing it down low, José rolls over in his wheelchair and slaps it clean. "Damn, kid, you almost knocked my hand clean off," Joel says, shaking his hand in mock agony.

"Cuidadoso necesitamos sus manos para la cirugía" Miguel, José's dad says coming up to smooth down he's sons fly away hair.

"Don't you worry José está en buenas manos." Joel says, coming up to Miguel and shaking his hand. "It's nice to see ya again, how's Rosalita and the baby doin'?'"

"She's good, baby Isabel is finally sleeping through the night," Miguel says.

"That's real good. My own girl Sarah, she just started sleepin' through the night too, been driving her mama crazy. But I think we finally got it." Joel says his smile is a little less bright, things with him and Freddie had been strained lately, but he's hoping that with Sarah, finally sleeping through the night, it will take some of the stress off, and this might all blow over.

"Well, let's get ya checked out, José, and then we can talk about the surgery and what to expect when we get the heart."

---

"José my man, how ya doin'?" Joel asks jogging over to him when he sees him in the video game room with one of the other kids playing Nintendo.

"Great, Joel, I'm kicking Sam's ass in Smash Brothers." José teases and Sam immediately shakes his head and starts signing [No, he's not].

Joel laughs and signs back [I know, kid] and ruffles both kids' hair before he turns to them and says to José, "I'm goin' down to talk to your dad, see ya later, [kiddos]"

---

"So we have a heart," Joel says his face flushed and his eyes sparkling.

"Gracias a dios es un milagro." Rosalita says holding little Isabel to her chest as Miguel shakes Joel's hand tight tears in his eyes.

"We are goin' to have to start surgery as soon as it gets here, so José is goin' to have to go into prep now," Joel says, pulling out the sheet with all the information they will need and giving it to Miguel.

"Thank you, thank you. You are a godsend." Rosalita says, coming forward to hug him and kiss his cheek. She steps back and goes to her husband, and they embrace, tears tracing down their cheeks.

"Don't thank me yet, let's make sure the heart gets here first and the surgery goes well and then you can thank me," Joel says clapping them both on the shoulder.

---

Joel holds his hands up in front of him as he backs up into the operating room. He's completely kitted up, and the staff are all ready to go. They are just waiting for him to give the go-ahead. He walks over to José, who's laid out on the table, his hair covered in a blue surgical hat and his arm with the IV attached strapped down to the table. His big brown eyes stare back at him with apprehension, and Joel tries to show his smile with his eyes.

"Todo va a estar bien, José. You'll be awake and feelin' better than ever before you know it." Joel soothes.

Jose nods, and Joel looks to the anesthesiologist and nods. They put the mask over his face and count down backward from 100.

---

Joel comes out of the OR his whole body shaking. His arms aching from trying to massage José heart back to life. He leans against the wall and is suddenly sliding down, his legs not able to hold him any longer. His head falls to his chest and the tears start to fall unhindered. He feels an arm wrap around his shoulders and he knows immediately it's Tommy.

"I-I don't know what happened. We was done, Tommy. Everythin' was workin' fine, and then it just stopped. I shoulda been able to get him back... why wasn't I able to get him back..." Joel says, his voice heavy with tears.

"Joel, I don't know, big brother, I just don't know," Tommy says.

"I-I gotta go tell his parents, I gotta.." Joel goes to push himself up off the floor and Tommy stops him.

"Not yet, Joel. You gotta get yourself under control first, You can't go to them like this." Tommy warns softly.

"They can't see me sad Tommy, what bullshit is that Tommy. They know I loved that boy." Joel spits out his voice sharp.

"You can be sad Joel, but you can't be like this and you know it." Tommy says, his voice kind but firm.

Joel sighs and closes his eyes knowing Tommy's right. "Okay, okay, I'll just sit here for a little while longer. Will-will you stay with me?" Joel asks.

"Course big brother."

@clickergossip @mariatesstruther @ameerawrites

watching greys anatomy and thinking of a tlou x greys au where surgical intern ellie is trying to work her way up to a cardio residency at jackson memorial hospital—problem is, cardio attending joel miller is a complete and total asshole