#patrycja
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fot_Roland_Okon_20231013_0109 by Roland Okon
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having a gf rocks where else would I hold a conversation like this
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Art by Patrycja Wójcik
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There was a girl.
When I was in high school, there was a girl in my class. Her name was Patrycja. Today she would be 28 years old. But she isn't because she died nine years ago, one week after our prom ball and, accidentally, one week after her 19th birthday.
It was a suicide - my whole class knew it as she had one attempt before but the teachers kept saying that it was an accident anyway. Only many years later one of them admitted the truth to me. I guess they were afraid of the Werther effect. Not that it really matters. She died, suicide or not.
Patrycja had the most beautiful and lavish blonde hair I had ever seen. I remember this school trip in the beginning of October, in our freshman year. It was sunny afternoon, we were in the park. She was walking along the lakeshore, and her hair were flowing behind her like a golden, shimmering banner. Her hair is always the very first thing I remember when I think of her.
She loved poetry and always had this somewhat decadent vibe around her. She cherished every form of "deep" and "high" art, up to the point where she was coming off as somewhat snooty. She wanted to take history, social studies and Polish language at our final exams. Seeing her name and choosen subjects crossed out of the student list was baffling and surreal.
On the night of the prom ball she was dancing barefoot, in pretty, lace black dress. She had problems with her spine but on that night she was dancing anyway. Alone and with her friends, and with this boy I liked at the time, and she was so full of life and smiling, and laughing. On that night she was probably the most alive among all of us. It probably should be the clue. But I didn't know at the time that when a person makes this final decision, they tend to suddenly become more happy. I think that even now I probably wouldn't notice anything. We never do.
One week later she was gone.
Her last FB post was: "A good day should start with Fripp" with link to "Heartbeat" by King Crimson. She wrote it hours, if not minutes, before her death. Maybe it meant something to her, I don't know. "A good day"... it always strikes me.
She wasn't my friend. To be honest, most of the time I despised her. She was bratty and annoying, and always expected special treatment, especially after her first attempt, which resulted with long hospitalization and reconvalescence. She had a difficult character and didn't have too much in common with me, both when it comes to interests and personality. Nonetheless, somehow I cannot forget her. It's funny - except it isn't.
I attended the funeral (my whole class did) but the next time when I visited her grave was few years later. It was practically abandoned. For some reason, it hit me more than her actual death. I mean, if you die at the ripe age of 19, you should be remembered. Your grave shouldn't be almost empty. Your friends should celebrate you. Whom the gods love dies young - or something like that.
Maybe that's why I still visit her from time to time. Maybe that's why I am writing this online even though probably nobody is going to read it.
In memory of Patrycja H. (1995-2014)
#in memory#in memoriam#memory#patrycja#high school#school#nine years ago#birthday#death#anniversary#heartbeat#2014
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Mt. Esja during the winter Sun ❤ 8.2.24 by Patrycja Makowska
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Bogna Patrycja Altman
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Renée Downer
#renee downer#black girl magic#flo#beauty#amber asaly#photography#custom#patrycja pagas#fashion#black beauty#flolikethis#bet awards 2023#bet awards#pro-royalty
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Patrycja Kielak
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posters round 1 poll 18
Faces of Jazz by Patrycja Longawa, 2017:
[no propaganda has been submitted]
Jazz Greats: Wes Montgomery by Waldemar Świerzy, 1990:
propaganda: The way the art is mostly in this cold blue hues but the colors explode from the guitar like he is bringing color into the world with his music? It feels like that sometimes, at least for me.
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There's one version of Warsaw Bomba's make up that lives rent free in my head
Like, just look at her
That white "mask" is the only thing different really from the final version, but for some reason it just changes her vibe so much. Maybe it's cuz it makes her mirror Mac's make up in a way (he's got a black domino mask vibe going on in his make-up), idk
Those are the only 2 photos I have of her like that, and I don't have the dates, but my guess is they may be from early January 2004, like from the previews or otherwise just before the premiere time. Not the premiere days tho
Which makes it even more intriguing given all the rehearsal/previews photos have her in her more or less her final make up, photos from the premiere and after do too, it's just those 2 photos from that one day that are so different (well, and these ones also from just days before the premiere)
#if there was a prize given for consistency warsaw would be a sore loser XD#i just wanna know what was going on#why did they try it so late#why is it so different#cats the musical#cats warsaw#bombalurina#patrycja wódz#jellicle cats#warsaw guy talks
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