#patriarchynomore

[marthashlyn]

Living with the insane, but I cared. (Gaslight Olympics vs Demons in person vs Me.) When you're the only one who can really SEE.

I've graduated from The University of Central Florida, May 2019. I moved back home from college. Things got weirder. In life there is always drama. Before I moved back, I use to get crazy vivid dreams of events happening in my home church and groups of people who would gather while I am not present. I'd ask questions to the source of the drama while everything else was still at the back of my mind, because it was deep, clearly, and I needed to fully understand. I would always get dreams of my home church while I was away actually. I was also changing and growing spiritually and I had no idea. Bonding with The Holy Spirit indirectly. Dreams, signs, strange feelings, even more.

I began to journal that year. Write stuff down. I would dream of groups of people visiting me, speaking with me, including my own "Godmother" and her husband. My godmother is my 3rd sister with my parents together. One night, while I was asleep, I heard my Godmother's voice talking and reading. Joking around too for what ever reason. Because I heard her reading, I tried to force myself to wake up. My eyes opened just a crack, but my entire body was still asleep. I couldn't speak or move. After I opened my eyes, I quickly looked around the room. My Godmother to my right reading my journal, which was everything I've been summing up since I've been back including past events which have happened where it felt as if I was in the room; and her husband who was to the left of the bed telling her to hurry and leave the room. He was shook (flabbergasted/surprised). I was recorded in my sleep plenty of times. Those videos were in some family group chat. I've never seen them. They would also question me in my sleep too. Once the police even questioned me in my sleep. I guess someone tried to frame me for a murder or something and of course it involved voodoo, and an ex at the time, who wasn't an ex yet. I'm the type of person to never be involved in things like that, so that was crazy. While upstairs, asleep sometimes, I would overhear my Godmother speaking with a person of authority, probably FBI, a few times. This same woman would try to convince my parents to do crazy things like take my car away for what ever reason never discussed with me. This one suddenly started having three faces.

SN: One morning before the couple went to church, I was asleep having a whole conversation on character or something. I turned over to the left after the conversation, while they were getting ready and woke up and said, "Good morning!" They were shook asf! Pretending like the entire conversation before didn't happen. I was shook too! Lol. But, I didn't remember the conversation fully. That was just crazy & we've never spoken about that. 🥴

Around July that year, my father got sick. Appendicitis. It healed naturally, and he was fine, thank God. I moved out after for many reasons. I didn't want to get comfortable either. I've barely unpacked then. As a recent college grad, I wanted to quickly move out and live on my own. No one wants to live with their parents. Ew. I started noticing more things.

Keep in mind, I was changing. Growing stronger, I guess. While I was asleep, my phone apparently was gone through and my journal. My parents barely speak English. They've already had several issues they would always think about and not discuss with me. I'm usually around and they would spill. We'd chit chat a little. I'm always off doing my own thing. An idea like this, WOULD NOT be their idea. Ideas given by the rapist associate pastor, whom God DID NOT CALL, and a few others were done or tested. Crazy questions were asked early as hell in the morning, to a few people in Orlando, who didn't even know about my personal life like that or my growing spiritual life. No one contacted me to even discuss that. I had no idea. I had a dream of one young lady in particular saying "They said what?! Oh no. Let me block them right now.." (A.D.)

& I guess a whole slew of them blocked my number. That means if I was dead in a ditch somewhere, I'd be on my own. That was noted. Among many other things.. & I've realized that fully December 2021.I had no idea I was blocked.

Come August 30th though, I broke up with my boyfriend at the time after having a dream, which turned out to be a message. I was already contemplating several things at the time. The dream was a burning family picture. His family. His mother's face was the last to be burned completely. I figured, "Okay this means, this could be you! Get tf up! Trust your feelings and go!"

While I sept, I've had many late night visitors. Lekol, legliz, lakay, and few I've crossed paths with. The Holy Spirit was also with me. During each visit, church family assumed I was dead. Family as well. Others took it as an opportunity to pray. During some visits, I've seen myself astrally projected in the room, offering people water, going for air outside. It took me out because I was hospitable in my sleep walking amongst them, the visitors in my home 😂. I caught on to the visits and posted a set of boundaries. I've caught on to several visits, but when I'd awaken, I would ask if a certain person was just in the room or the home, and my parents always tried to convince me that I was dreaming. Thinking I would never catch on.

By September, my cousin passed. I called him my uncle because he was older. Very cool guy. Normal & bionic, like the rest of our family. May he rest in peace & fly freely protecting me & his own. I can't wait to see him soon.. . ❤️

Come November, that was the FIRST communion I've had since 2018. When the year started, I kept trying my best to take communion for some reason. Then "Autopilot utilization." Forget the automatic wench stuff that happened right after. There were extra guests among us, and I asked if they were present. One person answered on some bull gaslight. The day after, The Holy Spirit started talking to me directly letting me know things.

Any time The Holy Spirit revealed something to me, I would let it marinate and ask questions. Each time, I was always gaslighted.

There were a few more supernatural events happening to me after then too. Texting a group chat & 3 people while on autopilot. I even had a seat, an assigned seat. I was to sit there every time church was going on.

There was a bomb threat at my church that December, right before the sermon. First time in history. There was some drama too before then about prayer. My Pastor, whom God clearly chose for this place clearly seen the people just needed more prayer. Understanding too, but prayer nonetheless. I guess the people didn’t like that. Some poorly written letter, boofalay. It was clear something spiritual was going on. I asked a few people to pray for our situation. The year started with Bull. It ended with Bull. - 2019

Then came the baker act saga, for no reason. Bull nonetheless. Late night visits were also still happening. Hence, "The sleeping crusades."

2020 was already crazy. The news, the SDA conference, the purge in Broward basically, people anointing their homes, me going robo cop super spirit angel once, parts of the country knowing certain things, starting with Broward. Spiritual mindless living zombies. Mario Kart. Hologram Jesus, no hologram. Aliens. A whole SLEW of crazy stuff. Broward knew everything. I was asleep most of the time though.

🗣 I want to see the damn footage! Every single one.

I’ve been baker acted 3 times in the past. Twice in 2020. Once in 2021. People didn't understand basic human emotion. Apparently I also have money to blow. Those bills = Bullshit. They are not getting a penny out of me. I did not ask to be there.

This baker act morning, I heard Jesus for the first time. I didn't think I was cool enough to hear him & we're supposed to have a journey with him first, before we baptize. That was crazy. I was baptized at the age of 12. There were people crying downstairs outside. I heard my pastor & boyfriend at the time out there too. I didn't see or feel them though. At one point I couldn't see people, but I could see. That’s another story for another day.

Spring - April or May 2020: The first time, the police were called because my neighbors feared for my safety. People kept coming over to my house to pray for me. I was fine with that. For this one in particular, I was trying to sleep. The last encounter led to me expressing my rage and anger after asking them to leave my room multiple times as they were singing loudly and terribly, all while, I was trying to sleep. By then, my parents were comfortable with the telepathics. I told them, "No one is to be in my room, for I am sleeping." My mom said, "Okay." My father also heard, and I believe they let them know. The little death deacon, walked right past him and headed straight for my room. He was with the deacon I've discovered who was beating his wife and his own wife. I don't even like this little death deacon right here. I was always gracious. The whole event was BULL & I remember every single thing I will not type. During the first trip there, I kept repeating multiple times that I refused to be serviced by them, the hospital. The police even said, the hospital was to let me go, because it wasn't my fault. There was a disturbance. That was all I heard. I was already mad. The telepathics was also happening. I said something too, to prove he could hear me, but the whole thing felt like some demonstration. I don't know why. I let him know not to touch me any kind of way, I had on no undergarments. I barely expressed what was going on because I was already mad, nobody asked me any questions. While there, I refused any tests. Then on a whim, I did the blood test. There were two ladies. One I recognized from an old doctors office from my childhood. She was a nurse then, I think. The evil little woman there though, must have thought she was a psychologist or something. I also overheard, "her father keeps trying to kill her. Keep her.” I just wanted to know how she knew that. The both of them were waiting for me to yell and scream, grab my things and leave. I'm not used to that. I already didn't belong there. I kept asking politely for my things so I could leave. I think I also explaied the situation. If I knew I could have asked to be taken to my aunt’s house instead of FMC, I would have said that. Stuff was already just happening to me all the time. I'm never heard. They went through my bag, the little lady heard the telepathics asking me to come to the desk from the little room, I even had a little sermon on how everyone is terrible. I kept saying my full name & my position as my family and community's matriarch and how I did not belong there. Three times. Sitting in the filthy room, a group of people came in. It's like they were waiting for me to attack them or something, then the nurse said to me how he was going to give me a shot in my arm so I could sleep, but he didn't do anything. There was also someone in the room I requested NOT be in the room for some reason, he felt weird, like a predator. Of course, I wasn't heard. Next thing I know, the group of people put their hands on me & my pants were pulled down and the nurse acted like he was going to give me a shot in my butt or something. While I overheard one of the security women say "her butt is cute." That left me feeling violated, and I expressed that & it didn't make sense, because I wasn’t even given the shot or resisting. I also mentioned before all of that how I didn’t have on any undergarments. I didn't need it anyway. Ultimately I ended up wasting my time there because I didn’t belong there in the first place. In the room next to me there was a criminal, a rapist. While upstairs, at night, a group of men would try to sneak into my room. The techs would block the room. I already DID NOT BELONG. It was clear they just wanted people, wanted money that I did not have, and they were use to doing something corrupt there. AND THEY HAVE CAMERAS. I already knew they would try to delete footage.

There was another incident. I was never a slave. I never just had to stay inside my home all day everyday. I had a life growing up. Sometimes my father would turn into a mindless robot blinded by his pride, during the warfare. (I will share in another post. I doubt it). By the first time, The Holy Spirit, had me go to the church frequently. Most of the time it was communion. Quality time, revelations, and other things, holy love connection once. I ran into someone. By this time it was the 2nd time, out loud & in my presence. I don't know what happens behind my back with him.

Incident: It was a regular day. I was going for a walk. Bull as soon as I touched the door knob. I went outside anyway. I needed some sun. I usually feel better after I spend time in nature. I know myself. I know what I like and what I need. I already knew I didn't know everything. I was figuring things out one day at time pertaining to what was going on. That was the first time I tried to go for walk too. Suddenly, I was yelled at not to go outside for some reason. Morney wasn't home instantly. I made it down stairs by the court yard. My parents followed me, then my dad went mindless. Emotionless robot with a blank stare. It's like he wanted to kill me with a straight face. My mom did some autobot stand in the middle stuff, while holding my arm. Keeping him away all mindless. I yelled "Y'all look stupid as hell!" I just wanted to go for a walk. Police were called. He approached us, and my dad suddenly acted normal. The officer clearly could tell my parents were bothersome to me. It was already covid. They were driving me crazy. Next thing I know, my cousin showed up acting sane & responsible, trying to understand what she doesn't even know. She just started showing up places it was weird. The girl is already evil and plays mind games like one of the men. I ignored her like I usually do, because she's not that bright and crazy selfish. She also doesn't know her place, and she's mentally ill some where, but everyone viewed her as the normal one. The officer somehow cleared everything up, I didn't ask. I shared what was going on, & he gave me a pamphlet and his card - I just got rid of those the other day. Then I went for my walk. I went to the corner store & sat in the front building on some stairs resting. The rapist, associate pastor, drove past, down the street. Telepathics; He said, "I will mind my business." Telepathics; I responded, "mhmm." WHAT ever that was. Everything. Then I walked back home, a few minutes after.

Summer 2020 - July: The 2nd time, earlier in the day. I humbled my father about my car. I had spare key & I was hungry. By then, I was always driving around, listening to The Holy Spirit. Family kept trying to convince my parents to take my car from me. I was eating a phillycheese steak sandwich from across the street & watching netflix. Next thing I know, police walked into my room with two women. Behavioral health I believe. I'm not a problem child. I was always quiet minding my business, while the telepathics were happening around the world. People just kept showing up trying to be the boss or something, proving they know better for me, as if I don't have a brain or a voice. Doing stuff. Thank God I wasn't tested or anything, unless it was for covid. I guess to these people, I wasn't in my right mind, but I was. When I spoke, everyone just stared, with a straight face. I didn't even ask questions. The whole situation was BULL. I assumed something with the courts. I already knew my family was part of some secret court case & it's like my freedom was traded for I don't know.. , information maybe. IDK. ALSO, keep in mind, that I’ve NEVER been involved with the judiciary system before. EVER. One of the women slipped words in quickly and kept talking at the time. It was a mental health facility in north carolina, I believe. (I looked it up after this trip to the hospital). I caught it & said "Huh? No. What I need is a spiritual counselor. Everything I am going through right now is spiritual." I got to FMC, the little lady behind the desk who really was a demon in another form, let me know I was there because of a court order by my father. I noticed it was in my cousin's hand writing. I said "He's probably trying to teach me some crazy lesson. He's crazy like that." TO ME, that means they should have let me go. The whole time, my father barely understood what was going on & was getting played by these people taking advantage of me changing and the situation. The idea for this must have come from the police officer of the last incident. He also spoke with them. (Court order). Ultimately, I don't know where he got that idea from. Again no one was speaking to ME. & I'm the one who is changing & have a calling on my life. Those were my thoughts. I said the last 2 sentences, out loud at one point. I always had a little monologue going, as some lesson. Occasionally. This time though, it clearly was an observation. Again, I thought about this secret court case. Maybe an add-on, I don't know. There was a tech and a PA who spoke with me. They asked about the situation and we spoke. I can't really remember. I spoke with the tech first, while he was taking my vitals. Again, I was NORMAL. While I was answering HIS questions, he kept rolling his eyes. He could tell I was lucid & didn't need to be there. He told one of his supervisors what was going on and it didn't work. I guess there has been a pattern there. The PA who spoke with me was sent in by someone going through his own thing. She asked a few questions, I answered. She spoke to the lady in the office and left. I ran into some really weird people, but I still managed to learn something from others and myself. I ran into the incompetent nurse who tried to assume I was having an ectopic pregnancy once when I came in to the emergency room because I had severe cramps. Her dumb ass. She was also one of the people in the room who violated me. She brought it back up like it was some funny joke. "You remember me? You thought I violated you." I looked at her with a straight face and said "You did," & walked the other way. I took advantage of getting some sleep. But there were assumptions clearly. I overheard the psychiatrist say "Oh she really is a princess." Probably because he noticed, I folded the FLAT ASS pillow available.

Another reason why that happened could have been because my parents wanted me to be doped up with medication for some reason. My father kept mentioning, (on some old people one-sided crazy caribbean stuff), he seen I haven’t seen a doctor to be taking pills for some reason. He kept mentioning it. I kept saying how that actually isn't normal. Most of those medications kill you from the inside. I HATE big pharma. Everything is kind of synthetic to me. Why? Capitalism. Honestly for some reason he just wouldn’t leave me alone about that. He swore I was depressed, when really I simply wanted time to breathe and recenter myself after a breakup, while simultaneously changing and growing. From the beginning. I just wanted to be with myself. Among many other things. That’s how I am really. I just need alone time, some space & everything is usually fine after that.

I was anointed with oil January 23rd, 2021.

The week after was the final time.. .

The final time was because I broke down after hearing the Holy Spirit speak to me at church. He told me to take a microphone from a young lady, He HATED her. Anger, full throttle. I decided to take an iPad instead, so I can figure out how to turn the sound to her mic off. At the time, I believed the Holy Spirit told me to take it, but I began to break down and cry after because I thought to myself, God wouldn’t say that or why me? I went to the Pastor's office instead. He told me to give her back the iPad, then I broke down after I placed my foot in the doorway. I was ready to explain what happened. That didn't happen. After a prayer from the pastoral staff, the police were called to see if I was okay I guess or understand the situation. Calling them was actually stupid. Behavioral health women popped up again. Rolling their eyes after every answer I gave to THEIR questions. I even gave some advice on how they shouldn't roll their eyes because I was whole heartedly answering their questions. My guess as to why they came was because of one of the technology staff, who is an aspiring behavioral health therapist, I believe. The officer kept asking me to voluntarily go get checked out and I kept saying no thank you. In the end he said, “okay let’s go.” I asked “why?,” he answered “it’s involuntary now,” offering no explanation. I got in the car, I mentioned how there's no space, he said "I doubt that." I could have mentioned how I was already baker acted twice for no reason before that, but that didn't come to mind. At the same time, I went through 2 of my Pastor's old textbooks and the church manual. One was on social work and administration positions, and church positions in the other book. I read a few key things for some reason. I understand why I was baker acted that time, others may have felt threatened, but something about that situation just felt wrong. Ultimately, I didn't have to go any where. The police officer actually could have left. But there was a pattern there at the church with young women who have extrasensory abilities like me and people who would take advantage of that situation because they had influence. They knew nobody would believe them. [I didn't know if that would before, but some part of me thought about that. It made sense somehow with everything, I've been sensing by then. Not too clearly though. People would also instantly become other people. Deeeeeeep down, on some "on me stuff" (over my dead body), it's like a fight of "I've had enough." Not "Oh, God. On this journey I'll go..." delusional bull]

I got there. The same evil little lady, made a rude comment about my dress & I just looked at her, like wtf? 😐. The comment: "Yeah, that's why you went to church in a sexy dress." It just came out. I don't know where from. I just had a "huh?” look on my face. My boyfriend at the time, an aunt, a few other people, and even TRUMP showed up to have them let me go. I was in the back. That's their section for backer acts. They were in the front of the emergency room demanding to take me out of there. I don't know what was said then.

While at the hospital, I was taught the bible a little by a stranger telling me we could have "pretty babies", I ran into people who were there for no reason, there were two or three out of body experiences for other people & I was monitoring somehow (in my sleep). I woke up to a crazy woman who did random chainsaw noises only, at my bedside standing over me. I was charged for an EKG test I DID NOT take. My insurance was illegally charged a few times by them. It's not even my own insurance. Voodoo was also done to me in my sleep there each time. Every time I would ask a question, I was ignored. One of the techs would say in a low tone, "don't sue us." The "psychiatrist" even gaslighted me that time & kept me longer. He smirked after as if he won something. Bitch ass.

The first two times, however, I should NOT have been baker acted. All 3 times, I was brought to the hospital in police custody, not as an arrest.

During the first time, "family" went through my things. The person responsible for THIS idea is dead. He caught covid. Mediumship. They took my journal, my sorority pin (there's something special there), paraphernalia, certificates, things they did not earn or buy, and magnet program clothes from high school. Why? I DO NOT know. I was petty, I threatened to burn his pathfinder uniform & the whole house. My father's. I hid it instead. When I got my stuff back, I think I was supposed to be happy. Additionally, my pin & journal were still missing. All three times, up until now. When I asked, he lied. My father. He knew where everything was. I didn't ask any questions to a soul in my family.

The third time, I tried to get a lawyer, but my father couldn't afford him, if they even spoke for real. I couldn't afford one either. They were keeping me longer than they should have there. 10 days. The lawyer I originally called wasn't trying to help. He didn't handle that stuff.

After each time, my mother would call the hospital, letting me know she was praying for me. That was cool I guess. The final time, I let her know that my career was ruined because of her and my father & I would never forgive them for that. No one would take me seriously. When I would go home, not a soul from my "family" asked me how I was, but they all knew where I was apparently. They also “love” me apparently. No one tried to understand the different situations. No one was having real conversation. It was petty assumption pick and choose what to say bingo. Talk shit while I'm away and spread it like wild fire. and LIE. I was on antipsychotics and the telepathics and everything else was STILL happening. Things died down because they liked that fact I was taking medication I DID NOT need for some reason & probably some Holy help.

During this whole thing, NO ONE was speaking TO ME. WHEN they did, they were patronizing me acting as if they knew better and understood everything. But this was different. Lose lose situation for me. I had to watch and wait. While I investigated my mystery of a history.

I was poisoned a few times, even by local restaurants & my own mother. My father told her to or another relative. Others included. Strangers. "People."

I tried looking into section 8. I did not want welfare help. My situation mattered. Circumstance. I know my parents & I understood the situation. I know them. Or I knew them... They were here, but obtuse. Bent in all these different directions. Siblings don't count for me. They've all added to this somehow & the cousin who thinks she's my sister. People kept trying to help them understand and they did not want to understand. So I kept doing what I needed to do.

During the whole thing, I kept sharing what was going on. Honestly. Every time. Not a soul, would hear what I had to say. Delusional belittle and believing what they thought made sense was their way of life. Even though, they know nothing about this. Me handling like 50 million things at once. My humble parents who were goofy sometimes, were long gone. They were here though, because of my mother. Thank God for autobot love. I'd be sensible, do what I usually would do, girly stuff that made me feel at ease, & they would be back to normal. Healed. They would cross paths with someone toxic and bull would start back up. Then senseless everything stopped around February 2021.

We are now in 2022. 2019 up until now was crazy. &! There's more there. Anything going on in Orlando, I did not know. I still don't know. My guess is Guilt. Mirrored Truth out loud. Fear. I dunno... 🤷🏾‍♀️

I only listen to The Holy Spirit. I know how I got here. I trust myself at the of the day.

[tanyacole]

Never a truer word spoken! * Taken from the latest @womankindmag ‘The Rise of Ecofeminism’ 🙌🏻🙌🏾👊🏽👊🏻✌🏾✌🏼💜💜 #free #womenheal #patriarchynomore #nomorewar #warsbegone #knowthyself #moreweavers #lesswarriors #warriorweaverbalance #archetypes #newworld #worldofthefeminine #emmelinepankhurst #womankindmag #love #healing #growth #lifeflourishing #createit #openminds #tanyacoleartsdotcom